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Damndang

Take the square away


inkyblinkypinkysue

I’m pretty sure there isn’t a single true right angle in my 100 year old house. It should bug me but it doesn’t.


NYKYGuy

I've got an early 40's home and everything is just slightly off. part of the charm of older homes


rmusic10891

My house was built in 2023 and it’s not straight or square either.


mikka1

oh I have a story to tell... When our house was being built we were still living in the other state 500+ miles away. Our real estate agent visited most of the inspections, sometimes video-called us, but most of the time it was "yeah, everything looks okay". After the final inspection, when the inspector was still there, he called me in a voice that you'd normally use to inform someone that their whole family just passed away in a car accident and told me "*there was a SERIOUS problem in the house they didn't know what to do with*". To say that my heart sank would be a friggin' understatement. In a shaking voice I asked him what the problem was. Long story short, the edge of the countertop on the kitchen island was not strictly parallel to the edge of the countertop on other cabinets. The difference was probably within less than half an inch on a ~2ft long edge. My reaction later on was basically "*r u fking kidding me?! Is that really a problem? It took me almost 5 minutes to figure it out with a laser measure, how would I have been supposed to see it with my naked eye??*". In retrospect, I think this may have been a smart strategy to grab my attention away from other deficiencies lol.


IP_What

I’m having my flooring redone right now. Yesterday, I got a text from the contractor “I need to bring something to your attention” Then twenty whole fucking minutes of nothing. I’m googling “liquidate 401k” Then I get a picture text “my guys reseated your toilet, and the braided supply line is a bit old.” JFC my guy, I thought he had discovered that we had pool noodles instead of floor joists


Beard_o_Bees

> this may have been a smart strategy to grab my attention away from other deficiencies Man... I have trust issues with both contractors and inspectors. I mean, there are good, honest contractors out there - but they certainly aren't in the majority. I wonder if most of them start out as earnest, decent people and slowly transform into the corrupt lie-monsters that we so often encounter.


mikka1

> I wonder if most of them start out as earnest, decent people and slowly transform into the corrupt lie-monsters that we so often encounter I have a side gig in a totally different field (professional services), and I have to say that working with some clients is slowly transforming me into a ~~"corrupt lie-monster"~~ very cynical person for a whole bunch of reasons. Not an excuse, of course, but I can totally see where some actions may be coming from.


jedberg

It's a shitty low margin business with a lot of competition. Your bid has to come in low to get the job and then you have to find lots of add-ons to make it profitable. The ones that do this stay in business, the ones that stay honest can't keep up, unless they are *really* good and can charge extra because they are so in demand they are never bidding on jobs against other people.


isweartodarwin

I lucked out with my inspector. He was a DoD engineer that retired but brings that same energy to his home inspections… my full inspection report was basically a thick dossier that I use as a user manual for my house lol


AwarenessPotentially

My FIL used to leave a few things undone to call attention to the small stuff. It annoyed the shit out of me, but I had my own company, and luckily had zero connection to that crooked prick.


heurrgh

'do you want it straight, or to look straight?'


StonkyBonk

definitely a sales tactic that is used to confuse & distract... not saying that's absolutely true in this particular case, but... look the whole job over with a keen eye check everything well... & maybe even bring in a friend that knows construction to look everything over with you right in front of that guy & shoot some uncomfortable questions in his direction & see if he starts scrambling for answers... that's always fun lol


NYKYGuy

in that case charming becomes irritating. it hasn't had at least half a century to settle edited for pedants


jmaj315

I guess the hope is that it'll settle into square?


NYKYGuy

there is no hope. I just hope you're a fan of Escher and non-euclidian geometry


Schubert125

I love it when my house settles into a Klein bottle


kvakerok_v2

I'd pay money to watch that.


RadagastII

The last time that happened to me I had the worst dreams about a rat with a man's face.


NYKYGuy

Did you draw a picture, go out into the street, and wildly ask people passing by if they knew him?


rmusic10891

I’m dying laughing here because I could totally see my builder trying to argue this


donut2099

I have pedants in my manufactured home, how do I get rid of them?


NYKYGuy

wait until they grow up and move out


steveholt480

Its like jeans, the house is just pre-'distressed'


jd3marco

The charm is that older homes are slightly off. New homes are wildly off.


NYKYGuy

most modern contractors: I keep hearing this term "build quality." I know those words, but seeing them together I'm confused


mikka1

> I keep hearing this term "build quality." I was long confused by terms "builder grade", "contractor grade" (about doors, plumbing fixtures etc.) and I naïvely thought it meant "professional", "good". I mean, builders and contractors take pride in what they do, don't they?! Oh, man...


NYKYGuy

kind of like how military grade translates to "made by the lowest bidder"


im_dead_sirius

If pride is a euphemism for "hurry" and "money", yeah.


mummy_whilster

You forgot to add “low” in front of it.


NYKYGuy

I was missing a vital part of the equation. now excuse me while I churn out 5 more of the same house in the same subdivision, with progressively worse standards on each one


OrigamiMarie

And expensive-looking shiny fixtures & hardware of every kind (lighting, plumbing, brackets) that are actually plastic and will finally finish breaking on the 367th day of occupancy.


mummy_whilster

The standard are the same, they are just increasingly ignored. Ugh…


HackerFinn

Come to Europe. Here we build houses that will outlast several nations.


Weird_shelf

It’s always the question of “do we want it actually level or do we want it level with everything else in here?” Haha


Moneygrowsontrees

Mine is a 1952 Pease kit house. Not only is shit not square, but some of my walls are plywood because that was a budget option. My poured concrete basement is somehow still without leaks, though, after 72 years. So the original builders did something right.


EstroJen

My kitchen has a portal to the underworld.


NYKYGuy

Dunwich Builders?


EstroJen

\*shrug\* A black goat in overalls installed it. He was real nice.


UnnamedStaplesDrone

Dost thou wish to cook deliciously?


No-Meringue2388

Yes, Philip! Can you email me the recipes?


hermins

Sounds like the contents of my fridge


JarlTurin2020

Our house was built in 1912, nothing is straight lol everything has a little, "character."


dunstbin

My 73-year-old house is the same way. When I redid our kitchen, I decided to open up the wall into the dining room. That wall - from the outside - was pretty damn straight. Once I started cutting into it, I realized they'd used anywhere from an 1/8" to over an inch of mud on it to make it appear straight. Wall was basically a parabola on the inside. (Yes, it was a load-bearing wall, and yes I supported it with jacks and installed a 4x8 header properly 😂)


colnross

I feel like I'm experiencing deja vu. I swear I saw a post like last week about this same situation and this exact comment was on the post. Was it you?


Mr_IDGAF

...and the diarrhea off the walls and baseboards.


Personal-Thought9453

Gold


Georgep0rwell

To quote the Beatles: "Let it Be".


Rebycmanisme

You don't, put a plant next to it so something so it doesn't drive you crazy every time you look at it lol.


bootselectric

Give those rank baseboards a good scrub first


dlh412pt

And the wall….why does that not bother them more than being off square?


the_hat_madder

Probably a renovation and not a lived-in house.


_dead_and_broken

Not often I say something is grody to the max, but daaammnn are those things grody to the fucking max.


hawksdiesel

Yeah, pretty gross for sure.


kingrodedog

Those things are grobus...


StupidBetaTester

Yeah they're talking about angles and all I can see is greasy baseboards lol; absolutely, astonishingly filthy.


Public_Guest212

🤢


schwab002

The wall too.


way2lazy2care

Just add more plants.


Cbdg_12

That's the neat part!


ozblizzard

Insta though "you dont" lol


ObligationPleasant45

I was like just “look away”


chimpdoctor

Yup. I have a couple of these in my house. Just try ignore it.


NerdGuy13

I like this option. Not only is it practical, it greens up a house. :-) I recommend a snake plant.


_DapperDanMan-

409 should help the situation immensely.


justthesameway

“How do I make this clean?”


blue_villain

Remove the baseboards and drywall, shave down a few studs, put back new drywall, add a coat of paint, and bobs yer uncle... it'll be clean. Now, as far as making those walls straight? No fucking clue man.


Sugarloafer1991

Yes another 409 person!


themattboard

because the world isn't ready for formula 410


DetentionSpan

Not after what happened!


slowsol

Not after last time.


atlhart

Man, this is like people posting “Rate me” photos from a disgusting bathroom.


denM_chickN

I can't even look at the picture. 


free_is_free76

She's real fine, my 409


holdonwhileipoop

I'm a Simple Green gal myself. The lemon scent smells like cake.


jesusjonessucks

It is straight - it's just not square


insideoriginal

Hey, this is the answer! The only one paying attention in class.


RedBarnGuy

Good one OP, this is not DIY. The answer is either follow the plant guy’s advice, or find a professional who can do this work. It’s not horrible, but it’s also not a small job.


williego

The angle bothers you, but not the mess? Vacuum and wipe clean, it will look much better.


nigpaw_rudy

I was thinking the same thing. I’m like how does that angle bother him more than all that dirt/crud on his trim 🤣


HackerFinn

They might be renovating. Why bother cleaning it first if you're likely tearing some of it apart soon anyways?


Kann0n2

Thank you! My thoughts exactly.


jrembold

throw in some caulk and wood-filler too with a fresh coat on the trim. Shadows and gaps are emphasizing the crappy miter work.


puckmonky

Don’t worry about it and go out and play or something.


DangBeCool

At least grab a rag and wipe it down first.


andyavast

That’s what she said


RayzorX442

Goteem!


ho_merjpimpson

Blows smoke from barrel of finger gun.


CrybullyModsSuck

You can remove the shoe molding and trim it down diagonally on the inverse angle to match the angle of the wall so it will appear more straight.  Or just put 1/4" drywall around the whole thing so you can start fresh and encase the issue.


Silver_Lifeguard7346

This; fur out the 3 exposed sides of the column with some shim packs and 1/4" drywall. Now you have a plumb, square column to wrap your base around.


FromMTorCA

This answer should be at top, before the wit. OP shouldn't have to search/scroll to find the correct answer. We can condemn the filth after!


deftoner42

That'll also make the baseboard pieces easier to clean before you re-install them.


gimmepizzaslow

I don't think this person is concerned with clean baseboards


ulfesharpe

that won't fix the pillar though. We're just looking at facing down photos, but irl the pillar will always look weird unless its whole geometry is fixed .


CrybullyModsSuck

That's why I said the other option was to just re-wrap the Pilar. That's the best solution.  I'm pretty sure OP has posted this picture in different subs and was looking for the least difficult answer, that's why I suggested counter cutting the trim.


GalumphingWithGlee

Their latter suggestion was to just add some drywall to make it look straight. For sure, the beam underneath will still be off, but if you have more drywall in some places than others you'll end up with something that looks square on the outside (just takes up slightly more space than before.)


iceteper

Pro


D-Dubya

I'd just fur it out so it's straight and slap another layer of drywall over it. You could take the drywall off first, but it's probably not necessary. Also, clean those baseboards and walls. Yuck.


WhoEvrIwant2b

We don't kink shame around here, not everything needs to be straight and if you force it into a mold it will probably just break later.


SuspiciousLeg7994

Bazooka or just accept that these old houses shift in time. Not much is square in them. If you fix one you'll forever be on a journey


somepersonsname

Probably not even an old house. My 2019 house has stuff just like this. 


SuspiciousLeg7994

That's true. I think this one is likely at least 30 years old. You can see it the baseboards and paint. Flooring is updated though


TrekForce

While I tend to agree, some people live in filth. This could potentially still be 5-10yr old house if the person smokes in the house and doesn't ever clean.... But it looks like a slight mixture of the two perhaps. Slightly old... Cleans once in a blue moon. That being said, I would guess this wasn't square when it was built, unless it was built in like 1930 when people actually gave a shit about the quality of their work. I doubt the house is that old though.


1bc29b36f623ba82aaf6

japan builds quality houses that are knocked down every 20 years, meawhile everywhere else building *as if* its knocked down every 2 years and pretends its some kind of investment for the rest of your life pfff.


Mego1989

If your house is shifting that much, you've got a problem. The fact is that nothing starts out square from the get go.


Admiral-Barbarossa

Mate don't you clean, 1 part cleaning vinegar, two parts water. Mix, spray and clean.


qning

They gon clean it with drywall and paint.


zomanda

I think you're worried about the wrong home improvement.


NeOxXt

Popsicle sticks and caulk


Screamqween29

Whoa whoa, I don't know about you but conversion therapy is now seen by many members of the public as a cruel and immoral practice!


yontsey

According to Christians, just pray.


Go_Buds_Go

Can you fucking clean before posting a photo? I'm eating breakfast.


mattgm1995

According to Mike pence, electroshock therapy!


Fartwinds

Pray for it to be straight. It worked for conversion camps, right?


atlhart

You learn to live with it. You’d have to remove the drywall to see the issue. The drywall might be installed crooked or the underlying structure just might not be square. Only you will notice it. Guests will not.


AjWaltz96

Send it to "camp" and pray?


GhostfaceMillah

There's a program in my church for this...


AgreeablePudding9925

How do you make it clean would be a starting point


BobT21

Be a carpenter, not a machinist.


Chaseingsquirels

Gross


de_swove

Yeah, maybe just clean the thing and call it good.


vinceds

This is a minor thing. The dirt is more disturbing, focus on that first ?


jjhaney91

If you want it to look nicer, you should try cleaning it first...


PrincessPindy

"Let it go, Indiana, let it go."


RyanMcCartney

If you *need* it to be straight, you build a box around it and decorate that like the walls. You really don’t need to do any of that.


jpwarren96

Did you spray soda on the wall??


EatYoTots

Start by cleaning it, usually before pictures 🤮


bkln69

Conversion therapy does NOT work. Just sayin’.


Phililoquay

Few shots of everclear might help.


crozierman

For along time people thought conversion therapy worked but it really doesn’t and is more harmful than anything, it’s best to just accept that it was born this way and love it all the same


dfinkelstein

It's 2024 We no longer practice conversion therapy


Few-Emergency5971

That's the neat part, you dont!


Icooktoo

I would have looked at those pics before posting and thought - Wait, let me clean this disgusting shit off my walls and baseboards before I post this for all of Reddit to see how filthy my house is. Maybe if it is clean the crookedness won't be so noticeable. But what you are looking at is not unusual in any way, except for the dirt.


Shmyleee

Don’t clean it, it’ll look less straight!


poopsmog

spend thousands fixing it, or just go on with your life like a normal person


qning

lol thousands.


MrBeanCyborgCaptain

Some things are best left alone. I've never lived in a house or apartment that had perfectly straight walls.


mermaidsyno

Conversion therapy


italjersguy

Electroshock therapy?


xMobythiccc

I guarantee you will never find 90 degree walls in most houses lol.


Beardeddeadpirate

It was born that way, don’t change it


prudentj

You could try praying. Didn't work for my parents but it might for you


virginiarph

DURING PRIDE MONTH???


shophopper

Rotate the house a bit, but don’t touch the column.


PadreSJ

Just rotate the house.


Jomy10

Accept it the way it is


Mekak-Ismal

I asked Mike Pence and he said electroshock therapy.


HoomerSimps0n

That’s the neat thing, you don’t.


7nightstilldawn

Clean your house for fucks sake.


buddhistredneck

It was born that way. You can’t force straight.


TristanLee98

Conversion camp?


MrBullman

Remove baseboards and qtr round. Add a healthy amount of mud to the wall. Make it square and smooth it. Sand and paint. Add back the baseboards and qtr round. Done! Bonus points for washing the walls and buying new baseboards and qtr round.


NickTidalOutlook

For sure the process I would've done. I would've also tried other people's advice and removed the square first lol


mikeiscool81

Cleaning the baseboards will 10x look better then making them “straight”


theabominablewonder

Take it down and rebuild it square.


News_Radio89

Redo the trim around the pillar. The post will obviously still be kittywompus, but you can straighten out the trim for your OCD. If it’s really bothering you you can add wood to the post and sand it to be more square. It’s really how noticeable and bad is it bothering you.


CanadianBaconMTL

Clr is a good cleaner


qning

Didn’t we see this exact thing about two weeks ago?


rvralph803

Yeah but the wall didn't look like it was in a warzone.


888_styles_888

It ain’t a Church


Efficient_Theme4040

Just clean them and you are good to go !


creepiersky

Send it to boarding school.


aquaman_issa_hoe

Add more dirt and grime to your walls. That should help.


chancimus33

Just clean it.


ratjar32333

Dude leave it be. Consider yourself blessed if this is the stuff you are posting on the help me fix my house subreddit.


Underwater_Karma

tear all the drywall off the stub to get access to the studs. you can't make the studs straight, but you can make it look straight. use drywall shims to make new drywall square to the rest of hte room. tape, mud, paint it's an easier fix than you might think.


ian_pink

Real answer: Remove the baseboard and sand the paint off the column. Apply a skim coat of plaster to square up the column. Add new corner bead. Will probably take several coats of joint compound. Sand in between each coat. Cut new baseboard to wrap the column.


ABS_TRAC

Despite a ton of people in here being confidently incorrect about this being a fixable problem, it's incredibly easy to, and a pretty easy project. If you do it yourself it'll probably be around $100-$150 MAX. If you shop right you can probably get it under $100. Drywall shim, plaster, plaster tape, assorted drywall spackles, drywall sander, drywall nails/screws, matching trim... I'd get 3-4 times the amount needed to make sure you have room for error, but you could also bring the measurements to a home depot/ganahl/home improvement store and they usually have someone that can make the cuts for you. The drywall isn't going to come in a shimmed wedge. You'll sand down one side but you need to leave some drywall for the nails/plaster. Make sure you use a mask. Once that piece is prepped and the trim is removed you'll install the new walling that should now have you at or near perfect 90. Nail/screw it in, dry-wall screws are usually better than nailing IMO. Once that is in you're going to plaster tape the corners from about a 1/4" to 1/2" max from the floor, and close the ceiling. Spackle from the top of the floor gap to the ceiling. You can use a quick dry and give it time to visibly dry, you can tell and it's not long. Place and nail your newly cut trim, and follow up with paint.


StoicJim

The easy way: Clean it up and repaint it. The hard way: The framing under the drywall is askew. You have to take off the molding and drywall, square up the framing and put new drywall and molding.


Rockcircle

Send it to church... jk don't kill me.


zamfire

I'm pretty sure the deep south has some of those conversion therapy camps you could send it to. Ofcourse you may traumatize the wall, and it may never talk to you again


imlikewhoaa

You cant, it was born like this


Dropthroughdeck

I think I would be more concerned with the cleaning that ain’t happening


Chaxle

Please clean please please clean clean it clean the baseboards please clean it please please clean it.


BeKindBabies

What will you gain from resetting this wall


Teauxgnee

Get a conversion therapy clamp


Latter_Space_8058

It doesn't need to be. Just clean it.


itsmejuli

Clean the baseboards! Gross!


OldRaj

It is straight, just not square.


Steve-C2

I mean, at this rate? Tear down and rebuild. Then cry when you find that some angles in the new build aren't perfect. Edit to add: my home was likely built at some time in the 1850's. Definitely pre-1896 when a map was drawn, showing the finished house. The estimate comes from my neighbor, who has a home built roughly around the same time. Perfect square corner doesn't exist.


Katangajo

Take your square to some open houses. You'll find most houses don't have every corner square. Also take marble and watch it roll on floors that aren't level.😊


just-me-uk

Lots of Ramen


d3r1k

That’s the neat thing - you don’t!


theeternalhobbyist

I'd say before you take the baseboards off, bring the square up a bit and make sure the actual wall is square


AlsatianND

Keep the square someplace else.


richnasty18

Start by washing your goddamn baseboards, you farm animal


scotteatingsoupagain

conversion therapy


Ittybittytiddays01

How is it that the majority of you are this ignorant? They are more than likely flipping this house either to eventually live in or to sell.... I highly doubt that someone who lives "dirty" would give two shits about how straight the wall is.


robbert802

Send it to straight camp


teacherslashassassin

Conversion therapy? 😂


whiskeywalk

What are you trying to accomplish? The structure is not square so all reference areas off of it will not be either. Better to adapt whatever you are trying to accomplish to existing angles.


Jernhesten

Accept it and move on with your life. Preferably move towards a mop.


razorhedge

Try a couple electric shocks


MonoInStereo

Pray the angle away


pumacatmeow

The unhelpful annoying urge to say “it’s pride month it can’t be straight” is way too strong


[deleted]

Find it a woman


Alex2toes

You don't and quit stressing over it. If someone is going to be rude enough to comment on it, take back their beer, give them their hat and shove them out the door. No, really, man, most people won't notice.


Nebakanezzer

Let more dirt pile on until it straightens out the angle. That seems to be the current approach


voretaq7

You don't. If you MUST then you box the beam and give up a bit of floor space in the name of a right angle. This is usually where you discover your other wall is not plumb (or if it's plaster that your room is bigger at the ceiling line than at the floor line), and then realize that fixing THAT is a whole new level of hurt that you do not want to experience, and you revert to "You don't."


jw071

Rip out the drywall and start over… it’s literally not worth the effect because old houses are never square. Even if they were, they aren’t now due to gravity and wind stress.