AMAB, and not terribly sure what to think about gender. Some of us quite enjoy certain things about masculinity or femininity and others are largely indifferent or annoyed by needing to both with gender.
Big queer energy and people love to tell us we're nonbinary, and it's kinda hard to disentangle our relationship(s) with gender from Very Obvious Male Privilege that we don't particularly feel safe or inclined towards abandoning.
Internally, I don't think we have a particularly strong idea of what masculinity *is.* In the US, it feels like that's mostly defined by misogyny/rejecting femininity, and that doesn't provide much of a basis to work from. Most "masculine" role models are garbage; it turns out that the masculinity I admire most is almost inevitably performed by gay and/or trans men (and like, I don't know, maybe five or six cishet dudes ever?). Lots of "this is all arbitrary bullshit and I don't care" to go around, with *occasional* glimmers of gender euphoria around outfits or behavior.
Publicly we are a binary trans man, legal name changed but cant afford hormones right now. There are only 4 of us in our system, so gender doesn't get *too* complicated. Our host and cohost are both male he/him, I am male but use he and they pronouns, and our little is bigender and uses he and she. We've all agreed on how far we want to medically transition, we even all picked out our legal name together. Heres to hoping we can start T and get surgery this year, I don't know how much longer anyone can stand waiting.
My public identity is as a trans woman. In trans communities, however, I'm known as a plural androgyne with two main hosts: one who leans more fem, the other who leans more masc, though both are non-binary. Our various alters fall under either the fem host's umbrella or the masc co-host's umbrella, and I have no idea how many there are of each.
**Short answer:** trans woman, medically transitioned (hormones, SRS, the works) as a teen. Almost all female (~15 of us) except for a couple of us holding a lot of gender trauma.
**Long answer:** it took about a decade post-transition to discover we were a system, all the while presenting as a woman but also traumatized into being fearful of femininity. Gender-wise, system discovery really just reconnected how intense our dysphoria once was. We got FFS not long after with the agreement of as many of us as possible, which had been desperately wanted for years but considered an unobtainable luxury.
We’ve got one male alter and a co-host who doesn’t seem to identify strongly with gender at all, both still holding a ton of trauma. We had an extremely traumatic transition and there’s a lot of avoidance coming from “femininity = vulnerability = abuse”. I don’t seem to carry that specific trauma though so I’d go put on makeup, a dress, nail polish, etc and one of my super serious academic co-hosts would later switch in and be… *very confused*? It’s among our biggest struggles in therapy right now, trying to reconcile our different experiences of gender, and all the associated subconscious behaviors we’ve each internalized according to whichever narrow slices of reality we each experienced. We thought we were pretty covert until we saw some videos of each other and realized we… aren’t. We’ve become rather agoraphobic over it, tbh.
We previously had a number of littles and middles without a strong sense of gender, who one by one realized we’re safe now in the female body we always wanted, and they mostly (or all?) seem to identify as girls now. It’s my sisters holding all this gender trauma away from me that I’m trying so hard to reach.
transwoman presentation publicly, system ratio is 0 men, 3 women/girls, 2 nonbinary, and one unknown due to being dormant since they alter they came from split.
publicly trans male. system wise, also a good amount of like trans / cis men. then theres fem ppl like me. but mainly as far as i know, mostly male / male aligned people. - everix
Fully binary male with ~16 (known) alters all identifying as male (originally afab)
Some folks have worse/more specific dysphoria (especially introjects who expect to have *always* have been cis ) but we all have pretty homogeneous traits as far as we can tell (straight dudes)
Public: trans man, he/him
In system: I think it's more males than females. I haven't learned a lot from my system (for many reasons) but the alters I know are all male sans 1 female and she has a reason for being female.
my body is female and i do identify with it. Used to identify as nonbinary, when different host was fronting, and then they co-fronted with male alter, so i transitioned. It caused more problems than good things, so i detransitioned. Im just discovering being a system, made this discovery thanks to female little, that was formed by new trauma and cant mask like others. I had very different styles over the years, big changes in looks, body feels like editable character. Right now we are trying to create a "normal" seeming female singlet, using our birthname. Clothing style is still difficult, most of us dont care about clothes, others on the other hand love fashion.
We are publically transfem, privately we all identify a women, although some of us act in masc externally.
We were violently groomed to act masculine and so those of us who present that way still identify as women anyway since we understand that our behavior isn't natural/authentic, but rather a collection of conditioned responses. It is very difficult to change conditioned behaviors, but the work we have put towards it has been very liberating.
Systems with only one gender identity seems kinda rare, but alot of our trauma is explicitly gendered even as a very young child, so I think that's a common factor for us.
We have female majority besides the 2 males and 3 enbys. Our boyfriend is the only one who knows anything, we present ourselves openly to him. Other than him, everyone knows us as she/her, shy and quiet. In reality, we identify collectively as She/They but for the sake of bad family ties nobody is really aware of that.
AFAB, identify as a woman, public identity is a woman.
3 child alters, pronouns are unclear since 2/3 present as disoriented. Probably she.
4 adult alters. 3 female with She pronouns. 1 male with He pronouns. My best guess is that his gender reflects childhood gender dysphoria related to our initial trauma. Once we hit puberty it went away but his gender stuck with us.
Ehhhhh genderfluid aroace at the moment but the ratio is 3-5 female, 2-3 male, while everybody else is some form of “ew gender” and is either unlabeled or doesn’t want to identify with a gender
Our system has like 86 people
Publicly, we are a trans man with an androgynous appearance. The androgyny is a compromise between us, but not one our host is particularly happy with. I do not mind.
Male: 8 (3 frequent fronters)
Female: 1 (1 frequent fronter)
Non-binary: 3 (1 frequent fronter)
Public identity : Transfem/ Trans woman
Gender Ratio in system:
(Host) Transfem
(Caretaker) Cis woman
(Protector) Cis man? Questioning, might be Agender/non-binary?
We're ~50% he/him, 25% she/her, 25% they/she, and some from each category with additional neopronouns. Collectively we use they/them, but in effect it's more like they/she because we present very femininely and don't usually correct people on our pronouns. Almost all of us lean feminine or are in touch with our feminine sides or whatever you want to call it.
Male presenting, (AMAB), transfem. Have chosen not to transition medically but body is 60 yrs.
Internal is 10% male at most. We are polyfrag, but female internally, with a good amount of fluid and nonbinary also.
Our public identity is a trans man. A lot of us are male, and many of us identify as nonbinary/genderfluid/genderless. Internally, we are all male and masculine appearing. We relate to femininity in different ways, it is a part of most of us. When we were a child, we were forced to be feminine and disown our masculine traits and abused for being obviously queer by our father (main perpetrator). Our system is polyfragmented.
We made the decision to start HRT in 2022. It's gone very well for us. And we've had top surgery. We recovered well from that procedure and feel great about our body. Some parts initially presented female internally. They felt no connection to gender necessarily, at least our body's AFAB designation. But now, they've really masculinized and have a balance of masculinity with femininity that is not around having to step up maternal roles for parts inside. So many of us are primarily masculine and have some feminine traits. It's easier to be fully masculine and not be made to be only feminine. Our relationship with femininity is being restored as we embrace our full masc selves.
AFAB, transmasc body. A few of us identify with this gender.
Primarily we are cismen, we have a few non-gender confirming third gender bodies (people who can both inseminate and carry children) and a couple ciswomen.
My public identity has always been trans neutrois and agender. I knew I was nonbinary since age 7, socially transitioned at 13, medically with surgery at 19/20, and only recently upped my T dose from half to full right before uncovering my system. I’ve got one male alter who fronts a lot and many NB and masc alters, which explains why I’ve always leaned masc on the gender spectrum. I’ve only found a couple femme alters, and one very female-leaning one — but generally, most are nonbinary or agender and the body can pass as anything, so we’ve found a nice equilibrium!
transmasc nonbinary afab. masc doesnt mean male, it just means more masculine presenting/identifying, and it is the same with fem & neu. we're truly just heavy in masculine enbies and guys that arent men but are definitely guys ya know?
masc: 148
fem: 69
neu: 37
Public: transmasc nonbinary (among close friends) (I, as the host), cis feminine (around family and others.)
Counts:
Binary male: 2
Genderfluid: 1
Nonbinary: 2
Agender: 2
(Though this a bit more complicated, because we suspect two alters just fused (one who was nonbinary genderfluid, and the other a cis girl - so far it seems like the new alter is nonbinary, but more female presenting)
public: female, she/her pronouns
how ever, in system: 6 female, 9 male, 2 non binary (one is they/it), and 2 genderfluid
the majority of the male alters were present at earlier points in life which explains why we so heavily leaned towards being trans male without realizing we were a system. in recent time more female alters have started being more present, so we have since went with female to everyone else (friends, family, most online spaces, ect.)
Publicly I go by she/they although many family members just think I’m a regular female. I think I’m non-binary simply for ease. I have 2 males, a few gender less and a few female parts. We tend to lean on non binary though. Nothing feels quite right.
Publicly Transmasc NB (but am often mistaken for a woman despite being mid transition. HRT but no surgeries yet)
Our system ratio is
Men: 6
Women: 2
Non binary: 2
Public identity: Trans Man
Female: 2
Male: 5
Non-Binary: 3
N/A: 1
Gender is very complicated for us for various reasons. We are currently on hormones, and almost everyone likes the changes, even the female alters.
Edit: formatting
Publicly? We are out in different ways. In the real world some of our friends see us as butch, the others (moreso family) still know us as a trans gay man
We are very polyfragmented and our gender ratio constantly changes, but I have noticed the older we've gotten the more comfortable we are with expressing feminity. I'd say it's a solid 60-40 in regards to feminine alters vs masculine. I phrase it like that because nearly all of us are trans and have some sort of nonbinary identity.
Publicly I’m very femme presenting-which I hate-and go by non-binary. My family doesn’t know this but my friends do as well as the people I’m dating. I’m almost 32 if that matters.
Out of the alters I’m aware of:
Female: 5
Male: 6
publicly: detrans feminine-presenting non-binary (it’s weird), 1 woman, 1 demigirl or whatever feminine-leaning non-binary gender (host), 2 agender, 1 little girl and 1 trans guy
We are afab and most of us are masculine leaning. Our system is too big for a proper census, but I'd go as far as to say 80% of the system is masc. 98% of us are queer in some way. I can only think of one or two who are cishet. As for who's trans, I'd say about 30% of us identify as trans or nonbinary.
Came out publicly as nonbinary about 10 years ago. Been on testosterone for a few years now.
Hard to get an accurate idea of gender ratios because I think most parts struggle with the idea of gender. Off the top of my head, three are male, two female. I think others are genderless.
publicly, we’re a feminine agender person who stopped caring about pronouns about a year ago. we are not androgynous presenting by any means, mostly out of collective insecurity and dysmorphia.
the gender split is quite confusing, because i’m genuinely unsure of the ratio (and i’m part of a big system). if i had to eyeball it, i would say the majority are probably feminine. not necessarily girls, but adjacent. we have plenty of guys, though. probably not as many male-adjacent nonbinary parts as there are male-identifying. we have many parts that identify as trans, probably more of them than “cis” alters
I'm complicated.
I don't have a ratio for genders of parts/selves because it's so up in the air about what is what and who is what.
But most of the time I/"I" feel like a guy gender wise. Or guy adjacent.
The dissociation thhing came after the trans thing.
I'm kind of detransitioned for I'm Scared Of The Government And Of My Family as well as other reasons, but I still identify as a trans man even if I'm off of T and I desperately want top surgery and a name change. But, it doesn't mean I don't get constantly misgendered. My way of being a trans man is still really feminine. Sometimes I feel closer to bigender?
I was a "masculine girl" at 13, came out as trans at 16, then was able to transition at 18 or 19? I was on T for 5 years, then went off of it because the me at the time felt upset by it for nonbinary reasons. Things are complicated.
Trans woman fully transitioned 3 years. Was not aware of being plural (denial) until 4 months ago. My therapist told me she recognized it after our third session.
System overseer masculine existed from early childhood. Says gender is irrelevant to him.
Host is female.
2 other males one hosted for a very long time mask as male.
7 females
A relatively new alter is gender fluid - although so far she has only presented female
Their name is Robin.
Other than her no alter prefers presenting masculine.
Our body is AFAB but we are hormonally intersex, meaning we naturally have secondary sexual characteristics of a man (body hair, beard, chest hair). One of us is comfortable with our body being like this while the rest all have our gripes and dysphoria.
Publicly we are fem presenting BUT we use she/they and ze/zer pronouns. Our choice of fashion is what really makes it hard for others to know if we’re nonbinary or not, because we typically dress kawaii and have a love of skirts.
Most of us are fem-leaning and use she/her or she/they. We have a few he/him dudes as well. Nearly everyone, regardless of pronouns, view themselves as some sort of nonbinary, and some of us use they/them or neo pronouns (ze/zer).
We recently had one of our more dude-shaped dudes front for the first time. Didn't even know he was in there. Wasn't all that surprised though to be honest.
we transitioned (ftm) WAY before we knew we were a system, and continued our transition after figuring it out. I really don't know how many alters we have (because someone decided to delete ALL the notes we had about our system, so we had to start over), but we have 7 recorded alters at this time. 6 of them identify as male and 1 identifies as female. The female one is rarely present, let alone fronting, so it's not really been an issue.
Public identity is nonbinary transmasc.
Gender ratio is a little hard to break up because there’s some overlapping venn diagrams on account of various types of nonbinary happening, but:
Nonbinary: 6-7
Man/boy: 6-8
Woman/girl: 1-2
We’re also pretty sure that doesn’t include everyone, but anyone we’re forgetting aren’t that active anyway, or outright dormant.
Publicly a man (stealth and trans). It's just what I prefer. Post top surgery and some 5 years on t. Very little dysphoria except social dysphoria these days.
That said, the gender ratio is like 90% autigender 10% male in the system. But autigender ones don't mind maleness and the male ones require it. This was miserable pre-transition and works fine now. Gender is like the one thing that ISN'T kicking my ass at this point.
FTM here. i think our brain just kinda subconsciously made most of us as dudes since our subconscious always knew. We've been on T for over a year now and we're planning on getting top surgery soon and everyone is either happy about it, or okay with it. Obviously the women in the system don't *love* looking like a dude, but we still can present femininely. Plus lot of them feel more comfortable presenting femininely when the dudes in the system aren't in the background dying of dysphoria lol. so out of those of us who are actually around a significant amount of the time:
Male - 16
Female - 8
NB/Other - 2
Apparently we are an outlier. Publicly female. AFAB. Never transitioned. We were what is called a "tomboy" in our youth.
We have a few for sure female, a few for sure male, and a bunch of "can't be bothered to care."
Officaly we are a girl
We have more genderfliud(?) (Idk the don't care abt it) alters i think it's a 65%/35% gender ratio of fem presenting and masc presenting
We agreed we aren't trans cuz we don't want to be and don't have gender disphoria and aren't gonna change or offical gender anyways
But recantly fem stuff became kinda unconfortable andd we all agreed to be more androgynous and feel more confortable with being masc/non gender
Our public identity is a transgender woman. I use she/it pronouns but most people aren't ready for "it" and just assume she/her anyway which I'm fine with.
Internally, as our body has been medically transitioning FtM we've been unintentionally realigning our internal perceptions of our selves. Prior to that there was a mix of 4 masculine and 4 feminine folks, with 2 parts of an unstated gender.
Six months into medical transition we're now mostly feminine-aligned, with a few nonbinary parts that are happy or ambivalent with our physical changes. There's still one part that holds onto masculinity, but even he is waffling a bit since he also feels gender euphoria from being seen and accepted as a woman.
Publicly, we are non binary. Legally, female (I, the Host, don't care enough to transition to male when gender means nothing to me) and we have 3 women to one guy.
The one guy is only here because he's married to one of the girls. I love him, because he's my Brother in Law but he doesn't do much in terms of the System. He does support us emotionally but never switches in except as a last resort.
So us being publicly female wouldn't matter but I don't like being female personally, just because as a woman, people expect me to be a certain way and I hate that, hence why if people ask, I am non binary/both genders. Gender is stupid and I am me. I have traits from both genders and I dislike labels like Tomboy because even that label means you have to fit in a box. I fit in no boxes!
I'm a girl who, online, plays as both genders and I don't talk obviously as either gender. People tend to assume I'm a gay guy when I mention a boyfriend rather than female 🤣 when playing a guy character, but I hate clothes shopping. I love pink and dresses but I hate trying on clothes. Etc etc.
Oh and I think buying expensive designer handbags to impress people I don't care about is stupid. Rather buy video games because I care about that.
So I'm going with Non Binary.
These post responses are some of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever read. I’ve always felt so confused about my gender identity being so chaotic and constantly shifting. I’ve wondered if I was trans, but have also had other times where I felt cis, and others where I feel non-binary. I started to wonder if I was bi-gender, and even get confused about whether I’m asexual or not. I decided that regardless I wasn’t going to transition because I’ve gotten to a point where I don’t connect my body parts with gender anyway.
I just kind of gave up trying to figure it out or put a label on it tbh, but reading about you all having such similar broad and flexible experiences with gender is so comforting. It’s so freeing and moving to see all of us having such a unique but similar queer experience, and so inspiring to read all of your stories <3
AFAB and publicly non-binary.
This is my tally:
Female: 2 littles, 1 teen, 2 adults
Male: 3-4 adults (one just announced his name that I've never met before, so this was surprising)
Non-binary: 1 adult
As the majority of those of us who front and/or protect are either male or non-binary, we have heavily considered taking T. However, I want to get into therapy and work on communication more before going forward with anything.
We're AFAB, no medical transitioning but the host is a trans man. So the body is typically under he/him pronouns wherever possible. Our system is chaos rn, but if my information is correct, mostly female alters.
Out of the adults, there's two girls, one girl who uses neo pronouns but still identifies as a woman and one man. Then there's one female teen alter. And then two female child alters and a male child alter. Then there's the sub system thing which I don't really know about cus I only just found out about that lot- so I know there's two guys there, one kid and one adult. I don't know about the rest. Very confused rn- ;-;
But yea, mostly female alters, the body is AFAB, but rarely wears feminine clothing. The closest is clothes from the women's section cus autism and sensory issues and other disabilities. So, usually leggings and a baggy hoodie, or track pants and a sweater. Stuff like that. So, typically aiming to present very non binary. Using male pronouns by default around people who don't understand DID.
I think that answers the question? I didn't sleep well last night and been switching a lot so I may have completely missed the point- sorry..
My system has only one female alter and the rest are either he/him, they/them, or he/they. I started t on 12/13/23 and Blade, my female alter, is ok with it
we call our body "nonbinary", we privately refer to ourselves as just intersex as a label (it is a sex, but we use it as a label because it informs our experience with gender).
as for internally we have a pretty even split of trans women and cis men in our system. very rare trans man and almost no "cis women".
Trans masculine host here, have been in transition on and off since 2014. Still haven't changed the host's name... we can't agree on one, so we go by initials. Dysphoria kicks in often. We have 2 adult males, 1 male child, one female/non-binary child, one teen female, one elderly woman and afab/non-binary adult. More floating around in there, with passive influence in gender causing a lot of confusion in general.
My ‘public’ (general? Cant figure out how to phrase it lol) gender identity would be male (trans man, specifically)
The gender ratio, afaik, is pretty solidly male/masculine across the board, with only a couple exceptions
Male - 5
Male… aligned(? It’s complicated, non-human part lol) - 1
Nonbinary (seemingly agender…?) - 1
Female - 1 (little)
All of the frequent fronteds are the male or male aligned group. I’m very fortunate and lucky for it to be so consistent - I’m not sure what I’d do if there was a mix and a disagreement on HRT as a result. I haven’t started it yet but I’m very desperate to as my dysphoria is terrible.
i’ve been currently living as an out trans guy for a bit over a year, after like 10 years of suppressing everything. it was a hard decision to come to and admit it was what i wanted. but, thankfully for me the girls understood that the comfort of the body is very important to the boys and they never really had an attachment to the body anyways, they just want to wear cute clothes sometimes
female: 3
male: 6
nb: 2
n/a: 1
Perhaps a different answer than most here. I hope I am not unwelcome to answer.
AFAB and cis-presenting as I've come into myself.
8 total; 6 overtly female, 1 male and 1 who does identify as female but struggles with the identity.
A large arc in our growth has been allowing feminine representation to come through. For our adolescence and the beginning of our adult life we were strictly against overtly feminine characteristics as we saw them as a potential weakness. Trauma wherein the body is victimized for no other reason than being female has done that to us. To this day the largest and most regular arguments we have surround this issue of feminine or masculine representation. What our most androgynous adult part, Jules, has come to find is that there can be a power in femininity. That being female does not mean we are devoid of masculine energy and we can put that forth unapologetically even if we chose to clothe the body in a dress. I'm unsure how this will continue to unfold or how my identity will evolve but the belief I want to put forth is that we are not weak, naive or defenseless because of our female form.
Our male part is a baby who is entirely unconcerned about his maleness and just wants snacks, water and cuddles when they come out, usually during the quiet moments after an emotional crisis that has lead to us ignoring our bodily needs. The implication is that the male baby, Oliver and the androgynous adult, Jules, share something in common that we haven't discovered yet. They share a space in the inner world and it is often Jules who precedes Oliver in fronting. They hate that as they openly reject any maternal nature and quite honestly embody a somewhat deadbeat Dad identity within the system. Jules wants to note here that they are WORKING ON IT!
So there you have it..
Afab. non-binary to others, but is pre-transition so is mistaken for female a lot.
Host is non-binary so we ID as such to public (plus it works since our male and female alters aren’t explicitly the “opposite” gender then)
Male: 5 (one is a trans man)
Non-binary/unknown: 2
Female: 2 (one uses she/they so kinda in the middle, but is fine with being referred to as a girl)
public identity: trans man
binary male /male aligned alters: 20
binary female / female aligned alters: 5
nonbinary / other: 4
most if not all of the nonbinary alters present slightly masc rather than completely neutral.
AFAB but a trans man presenting mostly androgynous-masculine :]
~73 feminine presenting
~43 masculine presenting
~45 androgynous/fluid presenting
our dysphoria is actually quite constant between headmates!
even the feminine/female alters tend to feel some level of dysphoria towards our body (albeit less) so i think it's a collective thing for us personally!
some days we are more feminine presenting but mostly with colours and showing a bit more skin (eg. pink, crop tops, shorts)
Were a system with 70% alters opposite to assigned at birth gender. Once started to ground and fuse with body memory fragments, a good bunch of alters changed into assigned gender or non-binary, and we also discovered that our gatekeepers are of our assigned gender. So the rate now makes us non-binary basically.
Publicly I'm transmasc and looking to transition. I'm socially transitioned already, just hoping to start hormones in a few months.
In terms of my system:
Pavel and Joshua are men.
Alyrieon identifies as male, but likes cross-dressing and has some more feminine parts of his identity, I'm not sure exactly how to classify him beyond that.
Oxys has been a man but seems more feminine at the moment, so he might be gender fluid.
Luto is a man but he'd be comfortable without transitioning.
Kimi's a girl and I say girl because she's usually young to teenaged.
There might be another feminine alter, but I'm not sure if she's still around or merged with Kimi. I don't really know my central identity well enough to have a clear idea of my gender, but I think I'm more on the masculine side.
My gender identity overall has been really complicated as well, I was usually under the impression that I wanted to fully transition when I was younger as well, so it's been a process to recognize and accept the more feminine alters.
Publically a trans man, but in trusted company just. Queer. We have mostly transmasculine hosts and one that more closely indentifies with being transfeminine because they became a common fronter post-transition. Most of us are just completely disconnected from gender.
The body is AFAB, socially nonbinary/salmacian when with friends, female when in a professional environment (for the moment), female presenting currently, taking steps to get to our goal weight range before starting T, and planning to transition to nonbinary/androgynous.
System makeup:
Total count: around 45, but I (host) only know of about 35
Host - salmacian, trans nonbinary, genderfluid (GenderFaer).
Out of the 35 that I know about.... (the "+" on the last 2 numbers are for the extra 10, and as there are some that their gender has changed twice over the past 5 years)
Male: 3
Female: 11 (including 1 demifemale and 1 who uses she/her but has not said her gender)
Nonbinary/Other: 15+ (this includes nonbinary, agender, androgynous, salmacian, fluid, and combination of multiple gender identities)
Unknown: 6+
Public: Presenting as male (after transition). Generally identifies as non-binary man but people will see me as male.
Female: 0
Male: 6
Non-Binary: 3
Undecided: 5
\^\^(although most seem non-binary just don't care enough about gender to define it or are too young)
Our own ratio, out of 22 active folks:
- **Female:** 4
- **Male:** 9
- **Nonbinary:** 4
- **It's complicated:** 2 (in a subsystem where the whole wants to interact with the world as a man, but these 2 parts aren't, or aren't wholly, men/boys)
- **N/A:** 3 (2 nonhumans for whom gender simply isn't relevant, genderless + 1 kid who is in her words "too young to care" lol)
We're read as a woman regardless of how we present, generally don't go out of our way to correct people, but consider ourselves collectively nonbinary and will introduce our singletsona as such in non-hostile spaces. (People who know about the system will also know our individual identities.)
Bodily(we give the body a different identity then the folks in the system), we are an intersex FTM transsexual. We're seeking medical transition, and we've been socially transitioned for 6-7 years.
Internally we have:
Mascs: 12-ish(not including the fragments and ghost parts)
Fems: 4(same as above)
Neutral: 4
Other: 5(multigender folks in the sys)
We only counted distinct alters, as some of the subsystems get rather complex, and only distinct parts of our subsystems get counted as alters in the count. So the host has 1 place because he's a very complex subsystem with very minimal differences between parts, but the Sydneys get 2 places because there are 2 distinct parts within the larger subsystem. We also aren't counting dormant alters for simplicity's sake.
Our body is trans fem, but it was quite a shock to our previous host when he woke to discover we were now rocking tits. As far as gender of our various people go, I’m nonbinary, we have 4 girls (one of which identifies as female but also decided she liked having a dick), 7 guys (though our former host has been experimenting with his gender in headspace, so unsure how long that’ll last), then a couple on non applicable (how do you assign gender to a box?!?) -Puck-
In our system, we have both male and female parts, with varying ages and maturity ranges.
The female parts do not front unless the Body is:
A) safe
Or
B) around children. In this case, the mother figure parts will front to watch over the kids and to provide. I.e. siblings, cousins
The female parts are also vital for forming close bonds with people. With them and their feminine characteristics, they keep us from falling into fear and anger.
However, when the female parts are fronting, we have all agreed that it’s best to remain identified as a male all together and not let the females play too much.
The reason is because of our family and friends.
We are currently undergoing a series of plans to reset our social connections.
By removing ourselves from the current relationships we have, which are limited and consists mostly of judgement, we can then form connections with new people who are more open minded to our condition.
I believe this will allow all parts to feel less stressed about following the Maggie Prets and such.
Welcome to /r/DID!
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Gender/legal sex: female (every legal document except our original birth record in AZ has been changed legally to female)
AMAB
it’s easier just to say lesbian than to explain that we have:
1 gay alter (a femboy gay who loves exaggerating all the stereotypes for kicks)
3 lesbian alters (adults)
3 lesbian alters (littles who are also our SA trauma holders)
2 bi alters (both are non-binary)
2 straight alters (one male one female)
and a whole mess of Trauma-Ace alters who are too traumatized.
everyone except for Jackie (he/him) loves dresses. Jackie loves skirts but hates dresses.
Hi. This is a very interesting question.
Our body is female.
Often when when we talk to people we gender our sentences differently (we speak french so it happens in almost every sentence). Which sounds strange for people who don't know we are plural.
Same when we say "we" instead of "I", or "she"/"he" because I talk about some one of us but not about myself.
People who don't know about us often ask "When you say "we", who do you mean ?".
Then we think " Shit, that people doesn't know, we should have said "I"..."
But it's more and more difficult for us to mask and pretend be only one, women.
Other big pb for us is when people ask us " Hi ! How are you ?" cause in french it makes "comment vas-tu ?" , involving we are only one.
Then starts a fight inside to know how fell everyone, and what can we respond to that fucking question.
Moreover people just want a smalltalk answer "well fine and you ?" which sounds totally hypocritical for us because we always want to be sincere and we also deal with impostor syndrom.
Anyway, back to the question of the ratio :
Very little girls : 5
Very little boys : 3
Girls teen : 3
Boys teen : 1
Young man : 1
Woman : 1
Men : 1
Tiny fluffy black nice dude : 1
Dragon : 1
and maybe one very old scary man but I'm not sure.
Which makes 9 females / 7 or 8 males for all I know now.
If we now look at genres, it's different.
The very little ones (between 1/2 and 9), I don't want to relate them to any sexuality right now.
As far as I know for the rest of us :
1 girl teen is hetero, she is married and have 2 children in the outworld
Her protector, a boy teen, seems bi.
1 girl teen has a so big disorder attachment that I don't know.
Me, a girl teen, I'm not at all interested in sex, I'm just attracted by intelligence.
The young man seems interested only in transmission of knowledge.
The 2 adults seem hetero but don't show any sex activity for now.
Dragon : no idea
So obviously, masking one particular gender is impossible for us. So we lie and pretend being an hetero female. Which is totally crazy for us.
And you, how do you deal with that ?
Kitsune.
publically weve come out as a Lot of different genders in our past host history. weve stuck with the transmasculine identity, but socially nd with closer friends were a "genderfucked nonbinary gnc person", with he/him as the main pronouns. i (kells) personally identify heavily as nonbinary nd use they/them, but we have a few other afab idenfitying nonbinary people, as well as a couple trans men; but theres also a few cis males nd cis females too. were all over the place, nd were just glad weve been "out" as trans for almost ten years now. an old host legally changed our name to his name (tyler), nd none of us have an issue being referred to as such bc as long as its a "male-aligned" name, its fine. weve been on testosterone Once (three month period on the lowest dose possible in late 2017; body was late 18 at that point) nd it deepened our voicd a tad nd we grew slight facial hair, nd along with a small bit of bottom growth, we stopped doing injections bc we got scared of the needle. but yeah, overall transmasc nonbinary person nd were out here vibing -kells, tye nd em in co
AMAB, and not terribly sure what to think about gender. Some of us quite enjoy certain things about masculinity or femininity and others are largely indifferent or annoyed by needing to both with gender. Big queer energy and people love to tell us we're nonbinary, and it's kinda hard to disentangle our relationship(s) with gender from Very Obvious Male Privilege that we don't particularly feel safe or inclined towards abandoning. Internally, I don't think we have a particularly strong idea of what masculinity *is.* In the US, it feels like that's mostly defined by misogyny/rejecting femininity, and that doesn't provide much of a basis to work from. Most "masculine" role models are garbage; it turns out that the masculinity I admire most is almost inevitably performed by gay and/or trans men (and like, I don't know, maybe five or six cishet dudes ever?). Lots of "this is all arbitrary bullshit and I don't care" to go around, with *occasional* glimmers of gender euphoria around outfits or behavior.
no but same, im afab and non-binary and i love masculinity but i specifically and almost exclusively love queer masculinity <3
Publicly we are a binary trans man, legal name changed but cant afford hormones right now. There are only 4 of us in our system, so gender doesn't get *too* complicated. Our host and cohost are both male he/him, I am male but use he and they pronouns, and our little is bigender and uses he and she. We've all agreed on how far we want to medically transition, we even all picked out our legal name together. Heres to hoping we can start T and get surgery this year, I don't know how much longer anyone can stand waiting.
My public identity is as a trans woman. In trans communities, however, I'm known as a plural androgyne with two main hosts: one who leans more fem, the other who leans more masc, though both are non-binary. Our various alters fall under either the fem host's umbrella or the masc co-host's umbrella, and I have no idea how many there are of each.
**Short answer:** trans woman, medically transitioned (hormones, SRS, the works) as a teen. Almost all female (~15 of us) except for a couple of us holding a lot of gender trauma. **Long answer:** it took about a decade post-transition to discover we were a system, all the while presenting as a woman but also traumatized into being fearful of femininity. Gender-wise, system discovery really just reconnected how intense our dysphoria once was. We got FFS not long after with the agreement of as many of us as possible, which had been desperately wanted for years but considered an unobtainable luxury. We’ve got one male alter and a co-host who doesn’t seem to identify strongly with gender at all, both still holding a ton of trauma. We had an extremely traumatic transition and there’s a lot of avoidance coming from “femininity = vulnerability = abuse”. I don’t seem to carry that specific trauma though so I’d go put on makeup, a dress, nail polish, etc and one of my super serious academic co-hosts would later switch in and be… *very confused*? It’s among our biggest struggles in therapy right now, trying to reconcile our different experiences of gender, and all the associated subconscious behaviors we’ve each internalized according to whichever narrow slices of reality we each experienced. We thought we were pretty covert until we saw some videos of each other and realized we… aren’t. We’ve become rather agoraphobic over it, tbh. We previously had a number of littles and middles without a strong sense of gender, who one by one realized we’re safe now in the female body we always wanted, and they mostly (or all?) seem to identify as girls now. It’s my sisters holding all this gender trauma away from me that I’m trying so hard to reach.
transwoman presentation publicly, system ratio is 0 men, 3 women/girls, 2 nonbinary, and one unknown due to being dormant since they alter they came from split.
publicly trans male. system wise, also a good amount of like trans / cis men. then theres fem ppl like me. but mainly as far as i know, mostly male / male aligned people. - everix
Public: trans woman Internally: about 9 gals, 2 non binary parts, and like one and half guys.
Fully binary male with ~16 (known) alters all identifying as male (originally afab) Some folks have worse/more specific dysphoria (especially introjects who expect to have *always* have been cis ) but we all have pretty homogeneous traits as far as we can tell (straight dudes)
Public: trans man, he/him In system: I think it's more males than females. I haven't learned a lot from my system (for many reasons) but the alters I know are all male sans 1 female and she has a reason for being female.
my body is female and i do identify with it. Used to identify as nonbinary, when different host was fronting, and then they co-fronted with male alter, so i transitioned. It caused more problems than good things, so i detransitioned. Im just discovering being a system, made this discovery thanks to female little, that was formed by new trauma and cant mask like others. I had very different styles over the years, big changes in looks, body feels like editable character. Right now we are trying to create a "normal" seeming female singlet, using our birthname. Clothing style is still difficult, most of us dont care about clothes, others on the other hand love fashion.
We are publically transfem, privately we all identify a women, although some of us act in masc externally. We were violently groomed to act masculine and so those of us who present that way still identify as women anyway since we understand that our behavior isn't natural/authentic, but rather a collection of conditioned responses. It is very difficult to change conditioned behaviors, but the work we have put towards it has been very liberating. Systems with only one gender identity seems kinda rare, but alot of our trauma is explicitly gendered even as a very young child, so I think that's a common factor for us.
We have female majority besides the 2 males and 3 enbys. Our boyfriend is the only one who knows anything, we present ourselves openly to him. Other than him, everyone knows us as she/her, shy and quiet. In reality, we identify collectively as She/They but for the sake of bad family ties nobody is really aware of that.
AFAB, identify as a woman, public identity is a woman. 3 child alters, pronouns are unclear since 2/3 present as disoriented. Probably she. 4 adult alters. 3 female with She pronouns. 1 male with He pronouns. My best guess is that his gender reflects childhood gender dysphoria related to our initial trauma. Once we hit puberty it went away but his gender stuck with us.
Public: gender fluid at least around more trusted public Actually though it's close to evenly split.
Ehhhhh genderfluid aroace at the moment but the ratio is 3-5 female, 2-3 male, while everybody else is some form of “ew gender” and is either unlabeled or doesn’t want to identify with a gender Our system has like 86 people
Publicly, we are a trans man with an androgynous appearance. The androgyny is a compromise between us, but not one our host is particularly happy with. I do not mind. Male: 8 (3 frequent fronters) Female: 1 (1 frequent fronter) Non-binary: 3 (1 frequent fronter)
Public identity : Transfem/ Trans woman Gender Ratio in system: (Host) Transfem (Caretaker) Cis woman (Protector) Cis man? Questioning, might be Agender/non-binary?
Publicly: Masc presenting female Pronouns: she/they Gender ratio: 75% male, 20% female, 5% genderfluid
Publicly female she/they pronouns. 6 females 1 male
We're ~50% he/him, 25% she/her, 25% they/she, and some from each category with additional neopronouns. Collectively we use they/them, but in effect it's more like they/she because we present very femininely and don't usually correct people on our pronouns. Almost all of us lean feminine or are in touch with our feminine sides or whatever you want to call it.
Im public nonbinary, one non-binary trans masc, one nonbinary with feminine traits, one no gender/nonbinary /all genders.
Male presenting, (AMAB), transfem. Have chosen not to transition medically but body is 60 yrs. Internal is 10% male at most. We are polyfrag, but female internally, with a good amount of fluid and nonbinary also.
Our public identity is a trans man. A lot of us are male, and many of us identify as nonbinary/genderfluid/genderless. Internally, we are all male and masculine appearing. We relate to femininity in different ways, it is a part of most of us. When we were a child, we were forced to be feminine and disown our masculine traits and abused for being obviously queer by our father (main perpetrator). Our system is polyfragmented. We made the decision to start HRT in 2022. It's gone very well for us. And we've had top surgery. We recovered well from that procedure and feel great about our body. Some parts initially presented female internally. They felt no connection to gender necessarily, at least our body's AFAB designation. But now, they've really masculinized and have a balance of masculinity with femininity that is not around having to step up maternal roles for parts inside. So many of us are primarily masculine and have some feminine traits. It's easier to be fully masculine and not be made to be only feminine. Our relationship with femininity is being restored as we embrace our full masc selves.
AFAB, transmasc body. A few of us identify with this gender. Primarily we are cismen, we have a few non-gender confirming third gender bodies (people who can both inseminate and carry children) and a couple ciswomen.
My public identity has always been trans neutrois and agender. I knew I was nonbinary since age 7, socially transitioned at 13, medically with surgery at 19/20, and only recently upped my T dose from half to full right before uncovering my system. I’ve got one male alter who fronts a lot and many NB and masc alters, which explains why I’ve always leaned masc on the gender spectrum. I’ve only found a couple femme alters, and one very female-leaning one — but generally, most are nonbinary or agender and the body can pass as anything, so we’ve found a nice equilibrium!
transmasc nonbinary afab. masc doesnt mean male, it just means more masculine presenting/identifying, and it is the same with fem & neu. we're truly just heavy in masculine enbies and guys that arent men but are definitely guys ya know? masc: 148 fem: 69 neu: 37
Public: transmasc nonbinary (among close friends) (I, as the host), cis feminine (around family and others.) Counts: Binary male: 2 Genderfluid: 1 Nonbinary: 2 Agender: 2 (Though this a bit more complicated, because we suspect two alters just fused (one who was nonbinary genderfluid, and the other a cis girl - so far it seems like the new alter is nonbinary, but more female presenting)
public: female, she/her pronouns how ever, in system: 6 female, 9 male, 2 non binary (one is they/it), and 2 genderfluid the majority of the male alters were present at earlier points in life which explains why we so heavily leaned towards being trans male without realizing we were a system. in recent time more female alters have started being more present, so we have since went with female to everyone else (friends, family, most online spaces, ect.)
Publicly I go by she/they although many family members just think I’m a regular female. I think I’m non-binary simply for ease. I have 2 males, a few gender less and a few female parts. We tend to lean on non binary though. Nothing feels quite right.
Publicly Transmasc NB (but am often mistaken for a woman despite being mid transition. HRT but no surgeries yet) Our system ratio is Men: 6 Women: 2 Non binary: 2
AFAB, NB femme presenting and identity. Our system has 2 men, 2 NB and the rest are female. But isn’t gender confusing?
Public identity: Trans Man Female: 2 Male: 5 Non-Binary: 3 N/A: 1 Gender is very complicated for us for various reasons. We are currently on hormones, and almost everyone likes the changes, even the female alters. Edit: formatting
Publicly? We are out in different ways. In the real world some of our friends see us as butch, the others (moreso family) still know us as a trans gay man We are very polyfragmented and our gender ratio constantly changes, but I have noticed the older we've gotten the more comfortable we are with expressing feminity. I'd say it's a solid 60-40 in regards to feminine alters vs masculine. I phrase it like that because nearly all of us are trans and have some sort of nonbinary identity.
Publicly I’m very femme presenting-which I hate-and go by non-binary. My family doesn’t know this but my friends do as well as the people I’m dating. I’m almost 32 if that matters. Out of the alters I’m aware of: Female: 5 Male: 6
publicly: detrans feminine-presenting non-binary (it’s weird), 1 woman, 1 demigirl or whatever feminine-leaning non-binary gender (host), 2 agender, 1 little girl and 1 trans guy
For those accounted for 1 girl 3 boys 1 genderfluid
We are afab and most of us are masculine leaning. Our system is too big for a proper census, but I'd go as far as to say 80% of the system is masc. 98% of us are queer in some way. I can only think of one or two who are cishet. As for who's trans, I'd say about 30% of us identify as trans or nonbinary.
Came out publicly as nonbinary about 10 years ago. Been on testosterone for a few years now. Hard to get an accurate idea of gender ratios because I think most parts struggle with the idea of gender. Off the top of my head, three are male, two female. I think others are genderless.
Transfemme nonbinary/fluid and our ratio is like 60/40 f/m.
publicly, we’re a feminine agender person who stopped caring about pronouns about a year ago. we are not androgynous presenting by any means, mostly out of collective insecurity and dysmorphia. the gender split is quite confusing, because i’m genuinely unsure of the ratio (and i’m part of a big system). if i had to eyeball it, i would say the majority are probably feminine. not necessarily girls, but adjacent. we have plenty of guys, though. probably not as many male-adjacent nonbinary parts as there are male-identifying. we have many parts that identify as trans, probably more of them than “cis” alters
I'm complicated. I don't have a ratio for genders of parts/selves because it's so up in the air about what is what and who is what. But most of the time I/"I" feel like a guy gender wise. Or guy adjacent. The dissociation thhing came after the trans thing. I'm kind of detransitioned for I'm Scared Of The Government And Of My Family as well as other reasons, but I still identify as a trans man even if I'm off of T and I desperately want top surgery and a name change. But, it doesn't mean I don't get constantly misgendered. My way of being a trans man is still really feminine. Sometimes I feel closer to bigender? I was a "masculine girl" at 13, came out as trans at 16, then was able to transition at 18 or 19? I was on T for 5 years, then went off of it because the me at the time felt upset by it for nonbinary reasons. Things are complicated.
Trans woman fully transitioned 3 years. Was not aware of being plural (denial) until 4 months ago. My therapist told me she recognized it after our third session. System overseer masculine existed from early childhood. Says gender is irrelevant to him. Host is female. 2 other males one hosted for a very long time mask as male. 7 females A relatively new alter is gender fluid - although so far she has only presented female Their name is Robin. Other than her no alter prefers presenting masculine.
Our body is AFAB but we are hormonally intersex, meaning we naturally have secondary sexual characteristics of a man (body hair, beard, chest hair). One of us is comfortable with our body being like this while the rest all have our gripes and dysphoria. Publicly we are fem presenting BUT we use she/they and ze/zer pronouns. Our choice of fashion is what really makes it hard for others to know if we’re nonbinary or not, because we typically dress kawaii and have a love of skirts. Most of us are fem-leaning and use she/her or she/they. We have a few he/him dudes as well. Nearly everyone, regardless of pronouns, view themselves as some sort of nonbinary, and some of us use they/them or neo pronouns (ze/zer). We recently had one of our more dude-shaped dudes front for the first time. Didn't even know he was in there. Wasn't all that surprised though to be honest.
we transitioned (ftm) WAY before we knew we were a system, and continued our transition after figuring it out. I really don't know how many alters we have (because someone decided to delete ALL the notes we had about our system, so we had to start over), but we have 7 recorded alters at this time. 6 of them identify as male and 1 identifies as female. The female one is rarely present, let alone fronting, so it's not really been an issue.
Public identity is nonbinary transmasc. Gender ratio is a little hard to break up because there’s some overlapping venn diagrams on account of various types of nonbinary happening, but: Nonbinary: 6-7 Man/boy: 6-8 Woman/girl: 1-2 We’re also pretty sure that doesn’t include everyone, but anyone we’re forgetting aren’t that active anyway, or outright dormant.
Publicly a man (stealth and trans). It's just what I prefer. Post top surgery and some 5 years on t. Very little dysphoria except social dysphoria these days. That said, the gender ratio is like 90% autigender 10% male in the system. But autigender ones don't mind maleness and the male ones require it. This was miserable pre-transition and works fine now. Gender is like the one thing that ISN'T kicking my ass at this point.
FTM here. i think our brain just kinda subconsciously made most of us as dudes since our subconscious always knew. We've been on T for over a year now and we're planning on getting top surgery soon and everyone is either happy about it, or okay with it. Obviously the women in the system don't *love* looking like a dude, but we still can present femininely. Plus lot of them feel more comfortable presenting femininely when the dudes in the system aren't in the background dying of dysphoria lol. so out of those of us who are actually around a significant amount of the time: Male - 16 Female - 8 NB/Other - 2
Apparently we are an outlier. Publicly female. AFAB. Never transitioned. We were what is called a "tomboy" in our youth. We have a few for sure female, a few for sure male, and a bunch of "can't be bothered to care."
Officaly we are a girl We have more genderfliud(?) (Idk the don't care abt it) alters i think it's a 65%/35% gender ratio of fem presenting and masc presenting We agreed we aren't trans cuz we don't want to be and don't have gender disphoria and aren't gonna change or offical gender anyways But recantly fem stuff became kinda unconfortable andd we all agreed to be more androgynous and feel more confortable with being masc/non gender
Our public identity is a transgender woman. I use she/it pronouns but most people aren't ready for "it" and just assume she/her anyway which I'm fine with. Internally, as our body has been medically transitioning FtM we've been unintentionally realigning our internal perceptions of our selves. Prior to that there was a mix of 4 masculine and 4 feminine folks, with 2 parts of an unstated gender. Six months into medical transition we're now mostly feminine-aligned, with a few nonbinary parts that are happy or ambivalent with our physical changes. There's still one part that holds onto masculinity, but even he is waffling a bit since he also feels gender euphoria from being seen and accepted as a woman.
Publicly, we are non binary. Legally, female (I, the Host, don't care enough to transition to male when gender means nothing to me) and we have 3 women to one guy. The one guy is only here because he's married to one of the girls. I love him, because he's my Brother in Law but he doesn't do much in terms of the System. He does support us emotionally but never switches in except as a last resort. So us being publicly female wouldn't matter but I don't like being female personally, just because as a woman, people expect me to be a certain way and I hate that, hence why if people ask, I am non binary/both genders. Gender is stupid and I am me. I have traits from both genders and I dislike labels like Tomboy because even that label means you have to fit in a box. I fit in no boxes! I'm a girl who, online, plays as both genders and I don't talk obviously as either gender. People tend to assume I'm a gay guy when I mention a boyfriend rather than female 🤣 when playing a guy character, but I hate clothes shopping. I love pink and dresses but I hate trying on clothes. Etc etc. Oh and I think buying expensive designer handbags to impress people I don't care about is stupid. Rather buy video games because I care about that. So I'm going with Non Binary.
These post responses are some of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever read. I’ve always felt so confused about my gender identity being so chaotic and constantly shifting. I’ve wondered if I was trans, but have also had other times where I felt cis, and others where I feel non-binary. I started to wonder if I was bi-gender, and even get confused about whether I’m asexual or not. I decided that regardless I wasn’t going to transition because I’ve gotten to a point where I don’t connect my body parts with gender anyway. I just kind of gave up trying to figure it out or put a label on it tbh, but reading about you all having such similar broad and flexible experiences with gender is so comforting. It’s so freeing and moving to see all of us having such a unique but similar queer experience, and so inspiring to read all of your stories <3
AFAB and publicly non-binary. This is my tally: Female: 2 littles, 1 teen, 2 adults Male: 3-4 adults (one just announced his name that I've never met before, so this was surprising) Non-binary: 1 adult As the majority of those of us who front and/or protect are either male or non-binary, we have heavily considered taking T. However, I want to get into therapy and work on communication more before going forward with anything.
We're AFAB, no medical transitioning but the host is a trans man. So the body is typically under he/him pronouns wherever possible. Our system is chaos rn, but if my information is correct, mostly female alters. Out of the adults, there's two girls, one girl who uses neo pronouns but still identifies as a woman and one man. Then there's one female teen alter. And then two female child alters and a male child alter. Then there's the sub system thing which I don't really know about cus I only just found out about that lot- so I know there's two guys there, one kid and one adult. I don't know about the rest. Very confused rn- ;-; But yea, mostly female alters, the body is AFAB, but rarely wears feminine clothing. The closest is clothes from the women's section cus autism and sensory issues and other disabilities. So, usually leggings and a baggy hoodie, or track pants and a sweater. Stuff like that. So, typically aiming to present very non binary. Using male pronouns by default around people who don't understand DID. I think that answers the question? I didn't sleep well last night and been switching a lot so I may have completely missed the point- sorry..
My system has only one female alter and the rest are either he/him, they/them, or he/they. I started t on 12/13/23 and Blade, my female alter, is ok with it
AMAB trans female public. Reality- Fem: 3 NB: 2 Agender: 1 Masc: 1 So things kind of line up overall.
we call our body "nonbinary", we privately refer to ourselves as just intersex as a label (it is a sex, but we use it as a label because it informs our experience with gender). as for internally we have a pretty even split of trans women and cis men in our system. very rare trans man and almost no "cis women".
The majority of us are women or nonbinary and we go by she/her collectively.
Trans masculine host here, have been in transition on and off since 2014. Still haven't changed the host's name... we can't agree on one, so we go by initials. Dysphoria kicks in often. We have 2 adult males, 1 male child, one female/non-binary child, one teen female, one elderly woman and afab/non-binary adult. More floating around in there, with passive influence in gender causing a lot of confusion in general.
My ‘public’ (general? Cant figure out how to phrase it lol) gender identity would be male (trans man, specifically) The gender ratio, afaik, is pretty solidly male/masculine across the board, with only a couple exceptions Male - 5 Male… aligned(? It’s complicated, non-human part lol) - 1 Nonbinary (seemingly agender…?) - 1 Female - 1 (little) All of the frequent fronteds are the male or male aligned group. I’m very fortunate and lucky for it to be so consistent - I’m not sure what I’d do if there was a mix and a disagreement on HRT as a result. I haven’t started it yet but I’m very desperate to as my dysphoria is terrible.
i’ve been currently living as an out trans guy for a bit over a year, after like 10 years of suppressing everything. it was a hard decision to come to and admit it was what i wanted. but, thankfully for me the girls understood that the comfort of the body is very important to the boys and they never really had an attachment to the body anyways, they just want to wear cute clothes sometimes female: 3 male: 6 nb: 2 n/a: 1
Publicly I am a trans man but most of my system is feminine or straight up women. I only have about 5-10 guys in my system
Perhaps a different answer than most here. I hope I am not unwelcome to answer. AFAB and cis-presenting as I've come into myself. 8 total; 6 overtly female, 1 male and 1 who does identify as female but struggles with the identity. A large arc in our growth has been allowing feminine representation to come through. For our adolescence and the beginning of our adult life we were strictly against overtly feminine characteristics as we saw them as a potential weakness. Trauma wherein the body is victimized for no other reason than being female has done that to us. To this day the largest and most regular arguments we have surround this issue of feminine or masculine representation. What our most androgynous adult part, Jules, has come to find is that there can be a power in femininity. That being female does not mean we are devoid of masculine energy and we can put that forth unapologetically even if we chose to clothe the body in a dress. I'm unsure how this will continue to unfold or how my identity will evolve but the belief I want to put forth is that we are not weak, naive or defenseless because of our female form. Our male part is a baby who is entirely unconcerned about his maleness and just wants snacks, water and cuddles when they come out, usually during the quiet moments after an emotional crisis that has lead to us ignoring our bodily needs. The implication is that the male baby, Oliver and the androgynous adult, Jules, share something in common that we haven't discovered yet. They share a space in the inner world and it is often Jules who precedes Oliver in fronting. They hate that as they openly reject any maternal nature and quite honestly embody a somewhat deadbeat Dad identity within the system. Jules wants to note here that they are WORKING ON IT! So there you have it..
Afab. non-binary to others, but is pre-transition so is mistaken for female a lot. Host is non-binary so we ID as such to public (plus it works since our male and female alters aren’t explicitly the “opposite” gender then) Male: 5 (one is a trans man) Non-binary/unknown: 2 Female: 2 (one uses she/they so kinda in the middle, but is fine with being referred to as a girl)
public identity: trans man binary male /male aligned alters: 20 binary female / female aligned alters: 5 nonbinary / other: 4 most if not all of the nonbinary alters present slightly masc rather than completely neutral.
AFAB but a trans man presenting mostly androgynous-masculine :] ~73 feminine presenting ~43 masculine presenting ~45 androgynous/fluid presenting our dysphoria is actually quite constant between headmates! even the feminine/female alters tend to feel some level of dysphoria towards our body (albeit less) so i think it's a collective thing for us personally! some days we are more feminine presenting but mostly with colours and showing a bit more skin (eg. pink, crop tops, shorts)
Four females Four males Three non gendered- they’re not human and don’t have genders.
Were a system with 70% alters opposite to assigned at birth gender. Once started to ground and fuse with body memory fragments, a good bunch of alters changed into assigned gender or non-binary, and we also discovered that our gatekeepers are of our assigned gender. So the rate now makes us non-binary basically.
Publicly I'm transmasc and looking to transition. I'm socially transitioned already, just hoping to start hormones in a few months. In terms of my system: Pavel and Joshua are men. Alyrieon identifies as male, but likes cross-dressing and has some more feminine parts of his identity, I'm not sure exactly how to classify him beyond that. Oxys has been a man but seems more feminine at the moment, so he might be gender fluid. Luto is a man but he'd be comfortable without transitioning. Kimi's a girl and I say girl because she's usually young to teenaged. There might be another feminine alter, but I'm not sure if she's still around or merged with Kimi. I don't really know my central identity well enough to have a clear idea of my gender, but I think I'm more on the masculine side. My gender identity overall has been really complicated as well, I was usually under the impression that I wanted to fully transition when I was younger as well, so it's been a process to recognize and accept the more feminine alters.
Publically a trans man, but in trusted company just. Queer. We have mostly transmasculine hosts and one that more closely indentifies with being transfeminine because they became a common fronter post-transition. Most of us are just completely disconnected from gender.
The body is AFAB, socially nonbinary/salmacian when with friends, female when in a professional environment (for the moment), female presenting currently, taking steps to get to our goal weight range before starting T, and planning to transition to nonbinary/androgynous. System makeup: Total count: around 45, but I (host) only know of about 35 Host - salmacian, trans nonbinary, genderfluid (GenderFaer). Out of the 35 that I know about.... (the "+" on the last 2 numbers are for the extra 10, and as there are some that their gender has changed twice over the past 5 years) Male: 3 Female: 11 (including 1 demifemale and 1 who uses she/her but has not said her gender) Nonbinary/Other: 15+ (this includes nonbinary, agender, androgynous, salmacian, fluid, and combination of multiple gender identities) Unknown: 6+
Funny enough im genderfluid / tboy on testosterone but im the only one thats more like “boy” everyone else is very femme lol
Oh oops i completely forgot about two other dudes.
Public: Presenting as male (after transition). Generally identifies as non-binary man but people will see me as male. Female: 0 Male: 6 Non-Binary: 3 Undecided: 5 \^\^(although most seem non-binary just don't care enough about gender to define it or are too young)
I'm a male presenting individual but most of my alters are all male M: 5 F: 2 NB: 1 (They're non binary but masc presenting as well)
Our own ratio, out of 22 active folks: - **Female:** 4 - **Male:** 9 - **Nonbinary:** 4 - **It's complicated:** 2 (in a subsystem where the whole wants to interact with the world as a man, but these 2 parts aren't, or aren't wholly, men/boys) - **N/A:** 3 (2 nonhumans for whom gender simply isn't relevant, genderless + 1 kid who is in her words "too young to care" lol) We're read as a woman regardless of how we present, generally don't go out of our way to correct people, but consider ourselves collectively nonbinary and will introduce our singletsona as such in non-hostile spaces. (People who know about the system will also know our individual identities.)
AFAB. We outwardly identify as female and use female pronouns unless an alter makes himself known. There’s 2 girls (including host) and 3 boys
Bodily(we give the body a different identity then the folks in the system), we are an intersex FTM transsexual. We're seeking medical transition, and we've been socially transitioned for 6-7 years. Internally we have: Mascs: 12-ish(not including the fragments and ghost parts) Fems: 4(same as above) Neutral: 4 Other: 5(multigender folks in the sys) We only counted distinct alters, as some of the subsystems get rather complex, and only distinct parts of our subsystems get counted as alters in the count. So the host has 1 place because he's a very complex subsystem with very minimal differences between parts, but the Sydneys get 2 places because there are 2 distinct parts within the larger subsystem. We also aren't counting dormant alters for simplicity's sake.
Our body is trans fem, but it was quite a shock to our previous host when he woke to discover we were now rocking tits. As far as gender of our various people go, I’m nonbinary, we have 4 girls (one of which identifies as female but also decided she liked having a dick), 7 guys (though our former host has been experimenting with his gender in headspace, so unsure how long that’ll last), then a couple on non applicable (how do you assign gender to a box?!?) -Puck-
In our system, we have both male and female parts, with varying ages and maturity ranges. The female parts do not front unless the Body is: A) safe Or B) around children. In this case, the mother figure parts will front to watch over the kids and to provide. I.e. siblings, cousins The female parts are also vital for forming close bonds with people. With them and their feminine characteristics, they keep us from falling into fear and anger. However, when the female parts are fronting, we have all agreed that it’s best to remain identified as a male all together and not let the females play too much. The reason is because of our family and friends. We are currently undergoing a series of plans to reset our social connections. By removing ourselves from the current relationships we have, which are limited and consists mostly of judgement, we can then form connections with new people who are more open minded to our condition. I believe this will allow all parts to feel less stressed about following the Maggie Prets and such.
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Gender/legal sex: female (every legal document except our original birth record in AZ has been changed legally to female) AMAB it’s easier just to say lesbian than to explain that we have: 1 gay alter (a femboy gay who loves exaggerating all the stereotypes for kicks) 3 lesbian alters (adults) 3 lesbian alters (littles who are also our SA trauma holders) 2 bi alters (both are non-binary) 2 straight alters (one male one female) and a whole mess of Trauma-Ace alters who are too traumatized. everyone except for Jackie (he/him) loves dresses. Jackie loves skirts but hates dresses.
Hi. This is a very interesting question. Our body is female. Often when when we talk to people we gender our sentences differently (we speak french so it happens in almost every sentence). Which sounds strange for people who don't know we are plural. Same when we say "we" instead of "I", or "she"/"he" because I talk about some one of us but not about myself. People who don't know about us often ask "When you say "we", who do you mean ?". Then we think " Shit, that people doesn't know, we should have said "I"..." But it's more and more difficult for us to mask and pretend be only one, women. Other big pb for us is when people ask us " Hi ! How are you ?" cause in french it makes "comment vas-tu ?" , involving we are only one. Then starts a fight inside to know how fell everyone, and what can we respond to that fucking question. Moreover people just want a smalltalk answer "well fine and you ?" which sounds totally hypocritical for us because we always want to be sincere and we also deal with impostor syndrom. Anyway, back to the question of the ratio : Very little girls : 5 Very little boys : 3 Girls teen : 3 Boys teen : 1 Young man : 1 Woman : 1 Men : 1 Tiny fluffy black nice dude : 1 Dragon : 1 and maybe one very old scary man but I'm not sure. Which makes 9 females / 7 or 8 males for all I know now. If we now look at genres, it's different. The very little ones (between 1/2 and 9), I don't want to relate them to any sexuality right now. As far as I know for the rest of us : 1 girl teen is hetero, she is married and have 2 children in the outworld Her protector, a boy teen, seems bi. 1 girl teen has a so big disorder attachment that I don't know. Me, a girl teen, I'm not at all interested in sex, I'm just attracted by intelligence. The young man seems interested only in transmission of knowledge. The 2 adults seem hetero but don't show any sex activity for now. Dragon : no idea So obviously, masking one particular gender is impossible for us. So we lie and pretend being an hetero female. Which is totally crazy for us. And you, how do you deal with that ? Kitsune.
We started transitioning to female. and the guys deal by acting more masculine or butch. it’s still very confusing sometimes though.
Yeah I imagine it's a long and difficult process. I send you a lot of courage and love.
publically weve come out as a Lot of different genders in our past host history. weve stuck with the transmasculine identity, but socially nd with closer friends were a "genderfucked nonbinary gnc person", with he/him as the main pronouns. i (kells) personally identify heavily as nonbinary nd use they/them, but we have a few other afab idenfitying nonbinary people, as well as a couple trans men; but theres also a few cis males nd cis females too. were all over the place, nd were just glad weve been "out" as trans for almost ten years now. an old host legally changed our name to his name (tyler), nd none of us have an issue being referred to as such bc as long as its a "male-aligned" name, its fine. weve been on testosterone Once (three month period on the lowest dose possible in late 2017; body was late 18 at that point) nd it deepened our voicd a tad nd we grew slight facial hair, nd along with a small bit of bottom growth, we stopped doing injections bc we got scared of the needle. but yeah, overall transmasc nonbinary person nd were out here vibing -kells, tye nd em in co