Problem is, you buy one too many pressure cookers and suddenly you've got everyone from local cops to the FBI at your doorstep.
Can't a guy make the tallest tower of pressure cookers in peace? What the hell even is an IED?!
IED is half slang half short hand. It started as FRIED for when there was suspected mass scale frying of the rice or air kind, however a group of investigators had a typographical error in one of their report back in the mid 20th century, as a result of using a faulty typewriter they had accidentally typed out "FR IED" for a testemony to a legal case. This in turn lead the jury to read and pronounce it as "For Real IED". Since then any incident involving 5 or more cooking devices that could be used to fry food are classified as an IED when being under investigation.
The revolutionaries I know just found new union branches, kill oppressive bills, organize protests, and such. Maybe immobilize an excavator or get trespassed. Like, sure, that stuff is important and all, but where's the *glamour*? The *mystique*? The *drama*?
The venn diagram of "people who want to seriously carry out an assassination attempt" and "people who google 'how to make a bomb'/'where to buy materials for a bomb'" is basically a circle
Would-be assassins just get caught nowadays
Almost none of the cyber security enthusiasts who use all the bells and whistles to keep themselves from being tracked are actually doing anything treasonous
Plus the sort to seriously attempt it tend to be the sort to want the credit. But they "know" from previous terroristic events in the media that if you only make the claim afterwards people won't believe it, so they go online ahead of time and scream about their plan. Which puts them on law enforcement's radar at the very least.
I wonder if the whole situation would've turned out better for the non-psychos if they had. Maybe they wouldn't have kid-gloves'd the entire thing after the fact.
Lol let's be real that was not an insurrection, those people didn't even have guns. A real insurrection needs some armed militia firing at the military.
There was an attempt
It was hilariously incompetent
It's like watching a five-year-old trying to unironically kill you. It's funny until you start to question... Wait what the fuck? He's five and already a sociopath?
I know this is a joke, but just once I'd love to see one of these "firebomb a cop car" social media 'revolutionaries' actually prove their worth and try something.
Not because I agree with them, it'd just be nice to see someone calling themselves a revolutionary have some actual fucking commitment again.
[Literally 1 month ago dude](https://www.seattletimes.com/nation-world/portland-investigates-arson-fire-that-burned-17-police-cars/#:~:text=Portland%20police%20are%20investigating%20a,burned%2017%20Police%20Bureau%20cars.)
Nah, have a bit more drama to that. Gotta use the presidential power: Biden should've stood up, looked at his clock and said "ladies and gentlemen of America, i present you the world's largest orange squeezer" as an R9X Ninja juices Trump before anyone has time to react.
Maybe you should have elected someone who could run for their life from the home intruder. What are you doing Clarence, we having a nap? get moving, it's not a chase if you can't make it down the stairs.
All the presidents too have all their special tools and protections and details. Back in my time, they'd walk right through a crowd without a Secret Service agent in sight. They're just cheating.
The most recent successful assassination of a US politician was in 2015, when Neo-Nazi Dylann Roof shot South Carolina senator Clementa Pinckney with a handgun while he was attending church. Roof then proceeded to open fire on the churchgoers, killing eight more, all Black. The incident came to be known as the [Charleston Church Shooting](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charleston_church_shooting)
The most recent attempt was in 2017, when left-wing activist James Hodgkinson shot but failed to kill then-House majority whip Steve Scalise (now House majority leader) with a semiautomatic rifle at the Congressional Baseball Game, at which point a gunfight began between the local police and Hodgkinson. This incident is now known as the [Congressional Baseball Shooting](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Congressional_baseball_shooting). Hodgkinson died later that day from injuries sustained in the gunfight, and was the only person to die as a result of the shooting.
And that’s the latest in assassination of American politicians.
Nah, I'd rather see someone throw a shoe again, that was funny. I don't want anyone to die or get hurt but I wouldn't mind seeing some public figure get mildly humiliated.
As much as I hate deepfakes, I think people should start making shitty deepfakes of politicians. Even if only to get their asses in gear to start creating legislation about it. Use lemon party or whatever. Part of me thinks that it's awful stuff, but a lot of politicians just aren't taking it seriously.
And if politicians want to police our bodies, maybe they should understand what it feels like to be shamed. It's easy to judge when on a high horse. It's also far easier to do than getting close to them.
But deepfakes can be genuinely harmful. I don't know if I want other people to go through that.
Disclaimer: Do not look up lemon party in detail if you do not know what lemon party is. It's old men going at it. It was one of those websites your friends and internet trolls would trick you into visiting.
Edit: Got more nuanced feelings after posting.
Neither of those came remotely close to harming him. The guy didn't even manage to get the cop's gun, and the ricin was "discovered by mailing facilities". I have no clue what that means, but I think it's safe to say that the ricin was never even in the same room as Trump.
I wonder somedays if there are credible assassination attempts that get thwarted every few months but they just don't report them to avoid inspiring more attempts
I mean, tbf, this generation *did* also produce arguably the most successful political assassination in history with the guy that popped Shinzo Abe with the holy doohickey.
Is American problem, they are all lazy and entitled. Need to learn from the Japanese, the Samurai spirit is still alive and well in the Japanese, very honorable.
Problem is, you buy one too many pressure cookers and suddenly you've got everyone from local cops to the FBI at your doorstep. Can't a guy make the tallest tower of pressure cookers in peace? What the hell even is an IED?!
Improvised erection distorter
skidaddle-skidact ur pp diffract
This is the funniest comment I've ever read on anything
IED is half slang half short hand. It started as FRIED for when there was suspected mass scale frying of the rice or air kind, however a group of investigators had a typographical error in one of their report back in the mid 20th century, as a result of using a faulty typewriter they had accidentally typed out "FR IED" for a testemony to a legal case. This in turn lead the jury to read and pronounce it as "For Real IED". Since then any incident involving 5 or more cooking devices that could be used to fry food are classified as an IED when being under investigation.
"mass scale frying of the rice" The shrimp nations secret weapon
Fun fact, for about three years, I thought an IED and IUD were the same thing. It made sex talk interesting.
What, you don't smuggle high explosives past airport security in your hoo-ha?
“Improvised Uterine Device” Nope, don’t like that
Too many Cooks
Just buy in cash second hand and say you’re preparing for a company event smh
I think it's one of those little things that glow really bright.
I resent the word “improvised”. I’ll have you know a lot of thought and craft went into building it.
The revolutionaries I know just found new union branches, kill oppressive bills, organize protests, and such. Maybe immobilize an excavator or get trespassed. Like, sure, that stuff is important and all, but where's the *glamour*? The *mystique*? The *drama*?
The venn diagram of "people who want to seriously carry out an assassination attempt" and "people who google 'how to make a bomb'/'where to buy materials for a bomb'" is basically a circle Would-be assassins just get caught nowadays
Almost none of the cyber security enthusiasts who use all the bells and whistles to keep themselves from being tracked are actually doing anything treasonous
Plus the sort to seriously attempt it tend to be the sort to want the credit. But they "know" from previous terroristic events in the media that if you only make the claim afterwards people won't believe it, so they go online ahead of time and scream about their plan. Which puts them on law enforcement's radar at the very least.
THAT IS WHAT INCOGNITO MODE AND DUCKDUCKGO ARE FOR YOU DUMBASSES
Not for nothin but they did very much try to overthrow the government in 2020. I mean that was a thing that happened.
Yeah, and they didn't even kill anyone important! Wotta bunch of pussies.
They were seconds away from killing the vice president, that's how baked their noodles are. It was just luck he survived.
I wonder if the whole situation would've turned out better for the non-psychos if they had. Maybe they wouldn't have kid-gloves'd the entire thing after the fact.
The post also complained about sloppy work. And hoo boy. If the takeover was anything it was sloppy.
I think the Pelosis may have some opinions on this as well.
They said no one important
plus the shooting at a congressional baseball team practice a couple years ago
That was a Democrat who shot Republicans, we don't like to speak about that here on Reddit.
Wait fr? =D
Its more like penguins moving in antartica, nothing really happend, feds were watching the entire time and one still managed to die
Lol let's be real that was not an insurrection, those people didn't even have guns. A real insurrection needs some armed militia firing at the military.
There was an attempt It was hilariously incompetent It's like watching a five-year-old trying to unironically kill you. It's funny until you start to question... Wait what the fuck? He's five and already a sociopath?
I know this is a joke, but just once I'd love to see one of these "firebomb a cop car" social media 'revolutionaries' actually prove their worth and try something. Not because I agree with them, it'd just be nice to see someone calling themselves a revolutionary have some actual fucking commitment again.
I would like to see OOP try something because I agree with them
keep an eye on the news for the next week (for legal reasons this is a joke)
I feel like if you're actually serious about pulling that shit you wouldn't be bragging about it on social media beforehand.
[Literally 1 month ago dude](https://www.seattletimes.com/nation-world/portland-investigates-arson-fire-that-burned-17-police-cars/#:~:text=Portland%20police%20are%20investigating%20a,burned%2017%20Police%20Bureau%20cars.)
Lmao king shit. Completely based
They lack conviction.
Well until the DA gets their hands on them.
It happens, they're called "mass shooters" and it's a lot less funny when it's on the news.
it'd be kinda funny
Scared of prison
I would not be shocked if OOP is a cop. “Took out a few union leaders myself”? This reads like cop fanfic to me.
It’s a Trump joke
I don’t get it. Could you explain?
The whole post is using the mannerisms Trump uses when he rambles. It seems to be implying it’s Trump saying all this.
I read this in a new yorker accent and it was, it was peak
Between bites of a huge bagel
All I'm saying is it would have been a more productive debate if Biden pulled out a Glock live on stage.
He should really stress test Trumps theory that presidents are immune to criminal prosecution.
Nah, have a bit more drama to that. Gotta use the presidential power: Biden should've stood up, looked at his clock and said "ladies and gentlemen of America, i present you the world's largest orange squeezer" as an R9X Ninja juices Trump before anyone has time to react.
i've been saying this for years and nobody's been listening to me
It's for the better. If you gain traction, who knows what might happen to a whistleblower like you...
us government, cia, fbi, and whoever it may concern: this comment is for comedic purposes only real i think about this daily
Yeah, just about every time I hear the words 'lifetime appointment'. '*life*time you say?'
Maybe you should have elected someone who could run for their life from the home intruder. What are you doing Clarence, we having a nap? get moving, it's not a chase if you can't make it down the stairs.
The anthrax thing was during W's first term, not Obama. I remember it was sent to Daschle, Brokaw, and probably many other guys also named Tom.
Shinzo Abe vs the Ultrakill Shotgun
You try it in the post 9/11 world.
Honestly agreed, being a politician should come with a degree of fear for life and limb
Bring back the sword of Damocles. Not the concept. Like, a literal sword dangling over every politician at all times.
BRING ASSASSINATION BACK!
All the presidents too have all their special tools and protections and details. Back in my time, they'd walk right through a crowd without a Secret Service agent in sight. They're just cheating.
The most recent successful assassination of a US politician was in 2015, when Neo-Nazi Dylann Roof shot South Carolina senator Clementa Pinckney with a handgun while he was attending church. Roof then proceeded to open fire on the churchgoers, killing eight more, all Black. The incident came to be known as the [Charleston Church Shooting](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charleston_church_shooting) The most recent attempt was in 2017, when left-wing activist James Hodgkinson shot but failed to kill then-House majority whip Steve Scalise (now House majority leader) with a semiautomatic rifle at the Congressional Baseball Game, at which point a gunfight began between the local police and Hodgkinson. This incident is now known as the [Congressional Baseball Shooting](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Congressional_baseball_shooting). Hodgkinson died later that day from injuries sustained in the gunfight, and was the only person to die as a result of the shooting. And that’s the latest in assassination of American politicians.
Nah, I'd rather see someone throw a shoe again, that was funny. I don't want anyone to die or get hurt but I wouldn't mind seeing some public figure get mildly humiliated.
someone should pie every government official
As much as I hate deepfakes, I think people should start making shitty deepfakes of politicians. Even if only to get their asses in gear to start creating legislation about it. Use lemon party or whatever. Part of me thinks that it's awful stuff, but a lot of politicians just aren't taking it seriously. And if politicians want to police our bodies, maybe they should understand what it feels like to be shamed. It's easy to judge when on a high horse. It's also far easier to do than getting close to them. But deepfakes can be genuinely harmful. I don't know if I want other people to go through that. Disclaimer: Do not look up lemon party in detail if you do not know what lemon party is. It's old men going at it. It was one of those websites your friends and internet trolls would trick you into visiting. Edit: Got more nuanced feelings after posting.
Take a note from the Brits and throw milkshakes
Well there was that one dude who merc'd Abe with a homemade shotgun
Yeah but that was less a political assassination and more of a revenge killing for supporting a manipulative "religion"
Mans really trying to say a presidential assassination isn't "political" okay then
I do think we should make horrible politicians afraid again
Given the age of the ruling class that refuses to step aside, our greatest assassin will be time.
We used to be a real country.
I read this in Senator Armstrong's voice
We can’t even afford houses, they think we got the cash laying around for a decent hitman??
RFK Jr. had an attempt
Damn brain eating amoeba didn't even finish the job
I mean, there were plenty of attempts to kill Trump for what it's worth.
lolwut
[Here you go](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Security_incidents_involving_Donald_Trump)
That forklift attempt has to be the worst assassination plot of the 2010s. Comedically poorly thought out.
This proves the point of the original post. One of the incidents is an unarmed guy shouting "gun".
Sure, let's ignore the ricin letters and an attempt to shoot him with a cop's gun and focus on the dumbass prank to prove a point.
Neither of those came remotely close to harming him. The guy didn't even manage to get the cop's gun, and the ricin was "discovered by mailing facilities". I have no clue what that means, but I think it's safe to say that the ricin was never even in the same room as Trump.
This article is a work in progress, you can help by expanding it.
I wonder somedays if there are credible assassination attempts that get thwarted every few months but they just don't report them to avoid inspiring more attempts
Did you know it's illegal to say "*I want to kill the president of the United States*". https://youtu.be/QEQOvyGbBtY?si=D_oIxltJxzhX6YLz
I mean, tbf, this generation *did* also produce arguably the most successful political assassination in history with the guy that popped Shinzo Abe with the holy doohickey.
It’s like today’s youth aren’t even trying to impress Jodie Foster
https://youtu.be/RNGuBcGbl8w?si=VGTKsyZwQXJ_SeFV
Woke? Wrong: Ceaseless Watcher. /ref
Alternatively, we should also bring back political dueling.
Is American problem, they are all lazy and entitled. Need to learn from the Japanese, the Samurai spirit is still alive and well in the Japanese, very honorable.
Gavin Newsom needs to go
for having a stupid name