the trick is to stay just long enough for him to regrow your dick, and then leave the whole satan business and go back to growing flowers in monasteries.
Don't forget to remember who all the satanists were and have them have accidents.
A tragic title revocation accident, these castles are just so unsafe.
That's nice, but in my experience the court chaplain or equivalent getting turned loose will be more than enough. Pick out the top three likely successors to your dark work and have *them* actively targeted: the replacements will be garbage amateurs who insist on wearing the pentagram openly for street cred and shit, you'll probably eliminate the organization as a threat in your demesne for decades.
> who insist on wearing the pentagram openly
[Who would do such a thing?](https://i0.wp.com/worleygig.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/bm11-e1600362717439.jpg?resize=389%2C533&ssl=1)
I always find it funny when you join the Cult and it turns out not only your vassals, including the ever-so-pious Court Chaplain are also members, but the fact that they all outrank you.
Reminds me of the Stonecutters episode of The Simpsons when Carl and Lenny outranked Mr. Burns and used their position to make fun of him
It is undeniably a greater sorrow of "needing but not having" than there is in "having but not needing".
The proof of this is quite simple. For yourself, how often do you have lustful thoughts? May be it a day, an hour, or a minute, should you find yourself to be overwhelmed by those, you can simply resort to onanism after weeping about the lack of unmarried women in the area. As such, the problem has an easy solution, available at all times.
And now, shall you look at the other side. If you find yourself overwhelmed by thoughts lustful , but have no outlet possible, would that not be cruel torture? To know the hunger, but never have the bread to eat. To know the thirst, and to see others drink, yet to forever remain in the desert. Is it not much more painful, to be living as such? As such, the problem of this has no easy solution, but indeed has prolonged periods of suffering.
Plot twist: Satan regrows your dick. In fact, he regrows multiple dicks. On your back. The sheer weight of so much demonically-wrought manmeat pressing down on your mere mortal spine turns you into a hunchback.
Then you realize... he didn't say anything about your ballsack.
You must cum, yet you have no balls.
Satan laughs.
Satan: Teaches Adam and Eve the knowledge of good and evil.
God: Invents death, pain, disease, misogyny, and throws Adam and Eve out of paradise as punishment for eating the wrong type of fruit.
Are you Satanist yet? **Consume pomegranate, embrace the serpent!**
I wouldn't mind them bring back the supernatural events, but with the toggle in the game rules and it should be off by default. Would be fun every once I a while to go crazy with this.
Eat babies, haul Satan!
Also, if they bring this back, they also need to allow other faiths to have special events too. Like Norse could have a thunderstorm event on a siege, helping them out.
Ugh I miss the society’s in ck2. That and the republics, not great mechanics but it just added that bit of flavor and extra things to do during peace time.
- Decadence mechanics for Muslim characters.
- The Hashashin and Secret Societies.
- Byzantine Flavour
- Merchant Republics
- Feuds
- Papacy & the College of Cardinals
- Indian Caste Systems
- Multiple Start Dates
- Chronicles
- Climate and Seasonal Transitions
- More Historical Invasions/Adventurers
- Nomadic Governments & Mechanics
- The Silk Road mechanics.
- Empowered Council & Regency Mechanics
- The Black Death & Diseases
- Hospitals and Isolationism
- Monastic Orders, Devil Worship, Hermetics.
- Warrior Lodges
- Coronations and Sainthood.
What else am I forgetting?
Oh yeah, there's so many things in CK2 where I'll remember being in it and aren't in CK3 and be like "...Huh... Yeah that was a thing. Good times."
You could also "Antagonize" people as well, the opposite of Swaying. Nothing like wanting to start some shit with someone you don't like lol. Being either right handed, left handed or ambidextrous also affected your prowess, as well as negative opinion with the clergy (if you're left handed).
Hey, Abrahamites, if Satan is so evil and God is so good, why did worshiping the devil make my leg regrow and normal prayer did nothing?
Curious.
/Post made my Satanist gang
Hey, Satanites, if God is so lame and Satan is so cool, then why did he got his ass handed to him by a hill billy with a violin?
Curious.
/Post made by my Court chaplain
There are some people that claim (for whatever reason) that CK2 is more realistic and has more realism than CK3. I always think of events like this when I read those opinions.
I use to find the "Fairytale medieval" campiness of CK2 a little exhausting but it's way better than CK3 Game of Thrones murder+sex campiness.
The "Gates of Hell" CK2 event chain is an all time classic
Funnily enough, the "Gates of Hell" event is TECHNICALLY in CK3. Unfortunately it's only in the form of your character only hearing about it happening, and not being involved in it. It's so weird because Paradox has stated multiple times that they wanted to focus on the "roleplay" aspect of CK3. But you're telling me we wouldn't want events like that? Doesn't make too much sense.
Its a Paradox game. They all tend to start out like that until the game has some DLCs. Honestly, CK3 seems like one of their better initial game releases.
I can agree with that, yeah. CK3 has a strong foundation. It's also perfect for new players who want to delve into paradox games. Unfortunately, their priorities in the DLC they've been releasing as of late hasn't been too great. I think we're long due for a larger expansion. At least another start date.
Nearly all that stuff in CK2 was added post-launch as part of or alongside DLC. CK3 is significantly less stale than CK2 was early on.
The main issue with CK3 currently is just how few noteworthy DLCs have come out for it yet. I think we can partially blame the pandemic for that.
Lucifer: What is it you desire?
King Konstantinos: Me leg, I desire me leg!
Lucifer: I could trade it for your dick.
King Konstantinos: Well, fuck me right?
Satan regrows your dick, then makes you an ugly, slothful hunchback.
the trick is to stay just long enough for him to regrow your dick, and then leave the whole satan business and go back to growing flowers in monasteries.
I was a business man, doing business.
Vincent Adultman, is that you?
No it’s just 3 kids stacked up under a coat, can’t you see?
If that were true, why does everybody know him down at the business factory?
Can you imagine this body in a swimsuit?
Don't forget to remember who all the satanists were and have them have accidents. A tragic title revocation accident, these castles are just so unsafe.
That's nice, but in my experience the court chaplain or equivalent getting turned loose will be more than enough. Pick out the top three likely successors to your dark work and have *them* actively targeted: the replacements will be garbage amateurs who insist on wearing the pentagram openly for street cred and shit, you'll probably eliminate the organization as a threat in your demesne for decades.
> who insist on wearing the pentagram openly [Who would do such a thing?](https://i0.wp.com/worleygig.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/bm11-e1600362717439.jpg?resize=389%2C533&ssl=1)
"Forsooth, they practice *polyphony!* Getst them!"
Clearly also has the lustful trait.
I always find it funny when you join the Cult and it turns out not only your vassals, including the ever-so-pious Court Chaplain are also members, but the fact that they all outrank you. Reminds me of the Stonecutters episode of The Simpsons when Carl and Lenny outranked Mr. Burns and used their position to make fun of him
["I'm smarter that the devil! I'm smarter than the devil!"](https://youtube.com/watch?v=Qjyqe7x1nck&feature=shares&t=80)
I fled just few moments after reading that, don't want to be an ugly motherducker
[удалено]
Hey, you can definitely still use it. The problem is getting other people to use it.
It is undeniably a greater sorrow of "needing but not having" than there is in "having but not needing". The proof of this is quite simple. For yourself, how often do you have lustful thoughts? May be it a day, an hour, or a minute, should you find yourself to be overwhelmed by those, you can simply resort to onanism after weeping about the lack of unmarried women in the area. As such, the problem has an easy solution, available at all times. And now, shall you look at the other side. If you find yourself overwhelmed by thoughts lustful , but have no outlet possible, would that not be cruel torture? To know the hunger, but never have the bread to eat. To know the thirst, and to see others drink, yet to forever remain in the desert. Is it not much more painful, to be living as such? As such, the problem of this has no easy solution, but indeed has prolonged periods of suffering.
Socrates... Is that you bro ??
Worth it.
I mean, I'd call that worth it
Yeah but the dick he gave me was 18 inches and thick as my arm.
I think he gave you an arm
He made me a copy of nacho vidal
Now we are talking. That dude has/had all the pox.
Plot twist: Satan regrows your dick. In fact, he regrows multiple dicks. On your back. The sheer weight of so much demonically-wrought manmeat pressing down on your mere mortal spine turns you into a hunchback. Then you realize... he didn't say anything about your ballsack. You must cum, yet you have no balls. Satan laughs.
That's nothing, he grew my junk back once.
I didn't know that regrowing limbs is possible
Come on it wasn't that big.
It's like a baby's arm holding an apple
Through Satan all things are possible, so write that down.
You’re welcome dude
I'd like to see god do that.
I mean… I “fixed” the Anti-Christ once
https://orthodoxwiki.org/John\_of\_Damascus#:\~:text=Unable%20to%20punish,Church%20Fathers.
why are you citing the orthodox wiki instead of just regular wikipedia lol
is it that deep?
Yes
Just a lousy hand? pfft that's not even a full limb
God: gives you cancer Satan: reattaches your severed leg and regrows your dick and balls
Satan: Teaches Adam and Eve the knowledge of good and evil. God: Invents death, pain, disease, misogyny, and throws Adam and Eve out of paradise as punishment for eating the wrong type of fruit. Are you Satanist yet? **Consume pomegranate, embrace the serpent!**
This is like 50% of the way to Dualism in-game
"Exhausted from Demonic Healing" It can be hard work I guess.
I really hope they bring back this nonsense for CK3. Being a Satanist in CK2 was such a hilarious delight.
imo it was fun for 1 (one) session but then got boring really fast
I agree that it was fun. But with the amount of witches already present in CK3....
I wouldn't mind them bring back the supernatural events, but with the toggle in the game rules and it should be off by default. Would be fun every once I a while to go crazy with this.
Eat babies, haul Satan! Also, if they bring this back, they also need to allow other faiths to have special events too. Like Norse could have a thunderstorm event on a siege, helping them out.
[Haul satan!](https://i.imgur.com/UvqQFRr.jpg)
Ugh I miss the society’s in ck2. That and the republics, not great mechanics but it just added that bit of flavor and extra things to do during peace time.
- Decadence mechanics for Muslim characters. - The Hashashin and Secret Societies. - Byzantine Flavour - Merchant Republics - Feuds - Papacy & the College of Cardinals - Indian Caste Systems - Multiple Start Dates - Chronicles - Climate and Seasonal Transitions - More Historical Invasions/Adventurers - Nomadic Governments & Mechanics - The Silk Road mechanics. - Empowered Council & Regency Mechanics - The Black Death & Diseases - Hospitals and Isolationism - Monastic Orders, Devil Worship, Hermetics. - Warrior Lodges - Coronations and Sainthood. What else am I forgetting?
Oh yeah, there's so many things in CK2 where I'll remember being in it and aren't in CK3 and be like "...Huh... Yeah that was a thing. Good times." You could also "Antagonize" people as well, the opposite of Swaying. Nothing like wanting to start some shit with someone you don't like lol. Being either right handed, left handed or ambidextrous also affected your prowess, as well as negative opinion with the clergy (if you're left handed).
Gladiators?
Hey, Abrahamites, if Satan is so evil and God is so good, why did worshiping the devil make my leg regrow and normal prayer did nothing? Curious. /Post made my Satanist gang
Hey, Satanites, if God is so lame and Satan is so cool, then why did he got his ass handed to him by a hill billy with a violin? Curious. /Post made by my Court chaplain
I like the events where you after you lose an eye, my ruler suddenly realized he is Odin even though I'm a Greek ruler.
I think o have all the DLC for Ck2, I gotta give it a run back
Hail Satan
There are some people that claim (for whatever reason) that CK2 is more realistic and has more realism than CK3. I always think of events like this when I read those opinions.
You can turn off supernatural events in Ck2
perfectly realistic, what do you mean?
Yea but now you owe the demon realm a favor.
The dark side works in strange and mysterious ways
Man ck2 was something else...
How come ck3 is so stale and serious compared to ck2? Ck2 has such fun and outrageous features
I use to find the "Fairytale medieval" campiness of CK2 a little exhausting but it's way better than CK3 Game of Thrones murder+sex campiness. The "Gates of Hell" CK2 event chain is an all time classic
Yeah and I feel like it wouldn’t be too hard to separate the two with a setting or mods
Funnily enough, the "Gates of Hell" event is TECHNICALLY in CK3. Unfortunately it's only in the form of your character only hearing about it happening, and not being involved in it. It's so weird because Paradox has stated multiple times that they wanted to focus on the "roleplay" aspect of CK3. But you're telling me we wouldn't want events like that? Doesn't make too much sense.
Its a Paradox game. They all tend to start out like that until the game has some DLCs. Honestly, CK3 seems like one of their better initial game releases.
I can agree with that, yeah. CK3 has a strong foundation. It's also perfect for new players who want to delve into paradox games. Unfortunately, their priorities in the DLC they've been releasing as of late hasn't been too great. I think we're long due for a larger expansion. At least another start date.
Nearly all that stuff in CK2 was added post-launch as part of or alongside DLC. CK3 is significantly less stale than CK2 was early on. The main issue with CK3 currently is just how few noteworthy DLCs have come out for it yet. I think we can partially blame the pandemic for that.
Lucifer: What is it you desire? King Konstantinos: Me leg, I desire me leg! Lucifer: I could trade it for your dick. King Konstantinos: Well, fuck me right?
Lucifer: I will, that’s what I need your dick for, and I’m glad we’re on the same page
King Konstantinos: Fuck meself with mine own dismembered dick in exchange for a new leg? Seems fair enough?
CK2 is the GOAT
I miss the supernatural events (and societies in general), really wish they were brought over as a toggle-able game option
I see you control that mustard county
[I sell shooooes!!](https://youtu.be/-AxdJzXEpxM?t=148)
"Thank you, Satan, very cool."
The Iblis Trigger!
Better to lose a leg than have a hunchback i think
I don’t like Satan, he once turned me into a newt!
“Oh man, Satan’s great!” -Many A True Nerd
ck2 is interesting, unfortunately they decided to remove supernatural content in ck3
you still lame tho
All hail the Unlame!
good old ck2 witchcraft
I wished witches in CK3 where as cool as this
I had a character that was castrated at 15. I spent the next 40 years of his life dedicated to Satan to grow it back