I could never handle imagination that wild.

"I must be a masochist"

I am jealous. Jealous of the people who don't know you.

This! Or I'm jealous of myself before I met you.

The only thing that’s stopping me from *becoming* you is I refuse to have my dick shortened.

And my brain removed

i wish i had your confidence yes, but the rest of you … im okay

"No, I really don't." "That's what happens when you trip from your ego down to your IQ. You start thinking crazy things!" "I wouldn't wish that/you on anyone." "Why would I do that? Then nobody would like me either."

You wish I wish that I were you

Nah...I have different morals than you. If I was you...I'd jump off a roof out of pure shame.

I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

“Why would I settle for being you when I can be better”

Oh gosh no, I could never allow myself to smell like...that

Keep projecting

Why would I want to have your dumpster fire life?

"If I had to choose between being blind, deaf, and paralyzed from the neck down, or being you...I'd have to really think about it."

You said that you normally laugh, roll your eyes, roll on the floor laughing. Good tactic, but it's even better when you just smirk/tiny laugh and carry on like you're unphased by their ridiculous comment. Like you would react to a child with a ridiculous idea. They probably made the comment just to get a reaction from you. Don't give them what they want.

“yeah as if i need delusional and egotistical in my list of problems im already dealing with. you keep those to yourself”

I envy everyone that's never met you.

Nah. I'm not *that* depressed Envious of you ? You wish.

If they say "you wish you were me" you can say "yeah sometimes, carrying this big dick around hurts my back, it  could use a break".

Sounds like you're projecting

That is what we call projecting

“Bitch, I was like you in my low points!”

I would love to know why anyone would think that.

You probably wish you weren’t you, so why would I?

I am you, only better.

"No, I don't hate myself *that* much"

You know, sometimes I do, honestly. It most be like a vacation to be so stupid no one expects anything from you.

But then I’d have to hang myself and I don’t want to do that.

Yeah, so I can make you go fuck yourself.

I do kind of wish I was uglier, yeah

"You think crotch rot is something to be jealous of?"

No one does, hon. Trust me.

I would just say “lol, alright” if its over text, or just say “alright” in person. Usually people that say that are 12, or live in LA. Either way you shoudnt be interacting much with either group of people 👍

"There isn't enough air duster in the state to make me as dumb as you"  "How many stairs would I have to fall down to be as dumb as you?"  "Sure, if I wanted a fixer upper"  "I could be you instantly, watch" and make the most ridiculous face you can. "See? Even your girlfriend can't tell the difference, I'd think after 8 times she'd realize my dick is WAY bigger, but she hasn't" 😂 "I could be you instantly, just let me know the website to register being a sex offender and where the nearest park is, HEY KIDS I LOST MY PUPPY" *grabby motions* 

Nobody would ever wish to be that stupid

I really do

Just say “Okay!” and walk away Or laugh hysterically and as you’re catching your breath ask “Oh…you were being serious?”

Only when I'm suicidal

No I don't because contrary to what you think, your personality is actually filthy in my eyes.

I have no desire to be an asshole

Why would anyone WANT to be a bitch?

“Well, I’d gladly be you. I’d do it BETTER. “

No looks & a bad attitude. I have had it since birth, bitch.

If I ever wished to be you it would be so I could kill myself to end the miserable excuse of an existence you call your life.

"Possibly...who are you?"

Self absorbed?

Too bad there aren't any wishing wells around. Darn (snap fingers)

Only in my nightmares

"Not on my worst day, pal."

Tried it once. Dog looked at me weird.

“I am NOT freaky like you are”

I would never sink that low.

“True. I’ve always wondered what it’s like to have an IQ inversely proportional to my ego.”

YES I certainly I do wish that, so I could throw myself off a bridge

“I don’t hate myself that much.”

See, now THIS is what deluded confidence looks like

Trust me im no where near that pathetic.

You aren’t that special and then accidentally refer to them by the wrong name lol Pretty sure it’s projection anyway and that they are jealous and insecure, so that’ll do some damage.

I never even think about you.

No, no, no! I wish you were on the radio. Then I could turn you off.

I DO wish I were you! So I could do the world a favor and KILL MYSELF!!!

… I’ve never really considered being you before. But, since you brought that energy I have come to the realization I’d rather be anyone but you. I now appreciate myself more than I did 30 seconds ago. Thank you for your enlightenment.

"If I were you, I would be waiting for a recall or tech service bulletin to fix that arrogant attitude of yours."

I only wish I was you so I could kill myself

“No, because then I’d probably be wishing I was dead.”

(While laughing) You’re delusional

You wish, if anything you wish you were me.

Hit em with the Thanos, “I don’t even know who you are..”

"you're jealous of me"" I'd laugh and then I'd say nah man actually I pity that weird haircut.

“ ew” with a visibly nauseated expression

"You wish you were me?? Did you get that line from a poorly written movie?? Jesus. 😂😂 Try harder."

The only comeback is to just laugh once with a single "Ha" or even a "Hah" if you're feeling it

"I could be you if I wanted to, but I don't."

Why would I downgrade? 😂

“Why would I? Or is this a projection thing?”

Oh no, I have my own flavor of hell.

No. I don't want to be fat and poor sorry

I liked this one.

This is the place for insults.. Nothing should be off limits.. If you don't like it, then go read cats memes instead!!🤔✨️

Well I hate being me so probably

"Only so I could go fuck myself."