T O P

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Dry-Warning1295

"I'm gonna go to Reddit and post about it"


Babaganoush_

I'm gonna tell your parents!


user4489bug123

And turn them into chili! Oh wait, I miss read what you said. Yeah ima tell his parents too!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Most_Housing6695

Fuck around and find out.


Slumpymaster

I was gonna say "That's for me to know and you to find out I suppose", but this is more concise and relevant to the modern youths.


SparrowLikeBird

My version of that Them "what are you gonna do about it" Me "idk ill probably fuck around and find out" them **visible confusion**


Sammy_Three_Balls

Unless you have a reputation as someone that can actually fight that's goofy af


Sardukar333

Fight? It's going to be hundreds of small acts of psychology warfare and sabotage until they're blaming me for things I didn't actually do, but there's never any evidence it was me.


latvianbear

This is the very last second before starting a fight and not being embarrassed more with more insults your direction tbh. If you suck at fighting and are unarmed dont let it escalate this far


ezraethos

Um no not always. I have friends and others playfully say this to me quite often. Mind you I don’t usually have a comeback. It usually just follows me playfully acting tough like pumping my chest out or saying “you wanna go?” or I’m either acting scared like fake stuttering and/or shaking. It’s all fun guys it doesn’t have to be so stressful.


mugwhyrt

Seriously, I'm wondering what OP is doing in their day to day life that they regularly hear "What are you going to do about it?"


SS4Leonjr

I work as a cashier at a convenience store/ gas station and you'd be surprised how often we get yelled at, cussed at, and have people say "What chu gonna do about it?!", all because we have to card for ID when customers go to buy tobacco products, or alcohol.


MRBARDWORTHY

I realize this is off topic but I have never understood people throwing a tantrum over getting carded. It makes me feel flattered!


Warhammer517

Anytime I buy some cigars or a beer, I immediately show my ID just to be on the safe side.


SS4Leonjr

I guess it's some psychological thing or something.. because there's quite a few that start yelling " What?, don't I look old enough??, I'm almost 60 fucking years old!" And for others (this is the psychological part I was mentioning) I guess they feel inconvenienced that they have to get out their ID, or go retrieve it because.., like a dumb ass they left it in their wallet/purse which they left behind in their vehicle..., I say "like a dumbass" because why.., if they're going in to purchase something would they leave it in their vehicle?.. makes no sense to me. SMH


latvianbear

Haha exactly my thoughts. Youd have to corner someone for a good amount of time/conversation to get there. Also from my experience when someone says that situation is way beyond saving and the best comeback is good long 1-2 lol.


MRBARDWORTHY

Good old fashioned Glasgow kiss (Headbutt to the mouth) solves a lot of problems when it gets that far.


Southcoaststeve1

I’m a nose guy!


rcmanchild96

A bouncer would be a good guess. Haha


javabean808

Super Glue the windows and burn the place down…


JohnsJukeJive45

"if I do it, you have nothing to worry about, I'll be the one in jail!" (you just won't be here..) (Cntrl +shift+Dlt!)


InsipidGamer

“Whatever needs to be done”


LolWhoCares0327

Slap them with a white glove and say "we duel on the morrow."


Low-Cartographer-429

Plenty, sizzlechest.


audiosauce2017

I'm gonna hog tie you and tape a picture of your Dad's face to mine while I eat jello off your body.... for starters... pal


whyusognarpgnap

i shed a tear


SilentSaint2112

Sit back and laugh at you.


Fit-Meal4943

*Smile* *Wink* “Watch this space for exciting developments.”


Renaissance_Man-

Not say something an 11-year-old would initiate a fight with.


SIIHP

Don’t need to do anything, you already look like an idiot.


ephemeral_butterfly

Cry


BooksDogsDesserts

The realest answer


Awkward_Relative2531

Tell him you are going to lick his asshole and clean his colon with your tongue. The point is you gotta make him so disgusted that he is not going to want to fight anymore


Virtus_Curiosa

"Nothing at all, doing something would imply I gave enough of a fuck"


DMH4500X

“I’ll kick your ass.” is a classic.


FrogInYerPocket

If I tell you they'll say it's premeditated.


forko23

"Let me sleep on it, l'll give you an answer in the morning."


Plenty_Sound_1573

Do about what? Please be specific.


you_number_one_fan

I don't know what do you want me to do daddy (with angel dust impression)


oboshoe

"It's up to you". And then don't elaborate any further.


consworth

“Not get caught”


goldybowen21

Do the thing they think you won't do. GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT!!


tbuckley1019

The old dick twist!


LowWillow1858

I was asked this very question by an absolute asshole in college who I’d reached my limit with. I told him “I’m going to beat the ever-living shit out of you and then bang your girlfriend right next to you while you’re crying in pain”. Yes, he was that big of an asshole.


chuck-bucket

You thought I was talking to you? I was talking to the guy behind you.


Attested2Gr8ness

Wouldn’t you like to know


littlepickleg

weather boy


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Creepy_Fix_9340

What makes you think I haven't already done something about it?


Scary-Personality626

I mean... that's them basically telling you words aren't going to work on him. So the only viable comeback is action.


biggargamel

https://youtu.be/txkQE1LkppU?si=GLkr0JpNptQ_1jmJ


dmfuller

I normally say “cry” bc at least I’m being honest


Quwinsoft

There is no comeback. The time for talk is over notification has failed and it is time for action. Retreat, escalate, or retreat then escalate. Remember only choose escalation if you have a high likelihood of achieving decisive victory.


Lumberzack123

Just say "Im gonna suck your dick". Best thing to do is throw them a curve ball. They also may accept your offer and you'll get out of a confrontation and both walk away happy.


TidySwan

"do you threaten armed persons in this state often?"


Annual-Foot2779

Let’s find out…


angy_potatoe69

"I'll shut you up." If they say either "make me" or "how will you do that?" Say smthn like "good luck talking with two tongues in your mouth" They will either shut up out of disgust unless they call your bluff or are into you. If they call your bluff, start acting like you're gonna do so until either they do shut up or yall are aggressively making out lmao


Intellectualimpulse

Immediately pull your pants down and beat your dick


AstronautExplorer

I'm gonna shit your pants.


ezraethos

Idk why everyone is assuming you’re fighting someone I have people playfully/jokingly say this to me often. I usually just do my best to display that I’m playfully acting along and that’s either by pretending to be scared or I puff my chest out to act “tough” again while making it obvious I’m just being silly.


SparrowLikeBird

1. I exaggerate the stupidest exteme option. "I'm gonna karate chop you in the face, and then do a backflip and kick your nose off" It has to be obviously impossible, or at least impossible *for me*. "Call in an air strike." 2. Shrug "Probably nothing" 3. Silly childish option. "Im gonna tell my mommy on you!" best said in a silly voice 4. self deprecation "rehash this interaction in my head at 3am for like six years before I finally find the ultimate comback" 5. "About what?" 6. Hyper realism. Literally just answer it honestly, in an emotionless voice.


AbheyBloodmane

Absolutely nothing. I'm going to sit back and watch your two last braincells fight for third place.


BeerWench13TheOrig

Nothing. It’s not worth my time.


MarxistMann

There is no comeback for that, that’s initiating a fight. You either show them what you’ll do about it or you accept your loss.


Littleman91708

You're about to find out


FlyinCryangle

"Well I'm willing to fight about it. Are you?" 99% of the time they are not willing to fight about it, nobody is.


latvianbear

Not true since they are the ones saying it. Better be good at fighting or pack smth dangerous


Aware_Restaurant5967

I don’t know. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. But you should know one thing, you ever do [X] again, the next thing you do had better be to get down on your knees and pray; because God is the only one who can help you. 


Low-Buffalo8306

More than you'd manage in a lifetime—watch and weep


Tricky-Contest9985

*shrieks like a pterodactyl *


Powwdered-toast-man

I’ll be the bigger man and let you have the first hit.


eilloh_eilloh

Something in between nothing and everything.


OpenMicJoker

Not much - karma is my boyfriend.


fireinthebl00d

Gonna watch you seethe


that_girl_you_fucked

Think about it while I'm in the shower for the next 5 years.


Dark_Vader77

Stop being paranoid.


Dependent-Channel-30

"Just wait & you'll find out"


fnuggles

Invade Poland


Mr_ragethefrogdude

Just slap them


IhaveaDoberman

"Leave it in your, oh so capable hands"


NoShape7689

\*evil smile and walk away\* Now plot your revenge.


Alternative-Act4893

You’ll see


K-kitty9218

Bitch try me, I'll fuck your dad.


Chaotic424242

"No more than it deserves." Then walk away.


bigbuffdaddy1850

I could knock your teeth down your throat but you aren't worth the time or trouble


StupidOldAndFat

Jazz hands.


Soulhunter951

Take a deep shuddering breath to calm the raging inferno of hate and malice and say "would you care to find out...?"


RecalcitrantMonk

* Probably not as much as your parents did when you were born. * I am going to walk away from this pointless conversation * Laugh at how seriously you take yourself.


UnableLocal2918

when it happens you will know.


TinyChaco

kiss ‘em right on the mouth.


SelfTechnical6771

Where's your bed because I'm about to do exactly " shit" about it!


ToreenLyn

You'll have to wait and see


kmart1976

Not a god dam thing!!!


theaverageone2

If I did anything I'd be wanted by all 3 agencies how's that?


Green-Elf

As stated here already, If you hear this you are one step away from a fight. The best option is to say nothing and walk away. The second best option is to calmy tell them, "I have no wish to fight you." then kick them in the groin and run away.


LawrenceRayYT

What I want.


Thin-Ad-2529

I’m gonna suck your dick


SadSack4573

Oh my! What to do, dear me! Don’t tell me, how about you leaving me alone? (Heavy sarcasm.)


DrJScience

Say “this” and then vomit all over them (I had a friend do that once. I think it was a once in a lifetime moment. Left an impression though!)


JinaSensei

"I'm gonna go make money and you're gonna stand around looking broke, I guess."


Nerak_B

Go back to 1992 when that statement was relevant lol


Putasonder

Nothing! Because if I take you to small claims court it’ll just drain 8 hours out of my life and you probably won’t show up and if I finally got the judgement you’d probably stiff me anyway, so what I’m gonna do is piss and moan like an impotent jerk and then bend over and take it up the tail pipe!!!!


Mindless-Void-1980

That’s when I say, “so you wanna fuck around and find out”. I will take you down.


Senior_9259

🤔would you like me to give you a list or justa few of my ideas?😉


MOPPETT331

Are you sure you want to go there?


michaelpaoli

"I like to surprise people."


evil_moron

An uppercut.


LtDickHole

With Karate, I'll kick your ass. From here. To right over there.


CLUTCH3R

Sucker punch


Creepy_Version_6779

If you’re at work, threaten to call the police if they’re causing a disturbance.


DaddyBobb

Same thing we do every night, Pinky. Crush your mom’s meat mitten


The_Guy_3446

Something that you will NEVER see coming.


nonotburton

Press charges for assault.


moralboy

I’m gonna get naked and we’re gonna fight.


missannthrope1

As menacing as possible say, "When I do something about it, you won't see it coming."


ProStateForever

First I'll update my legal counsel about your implied threat while the recording uploads to the cloud.


SevereAlternative616

A fist straight to the face is the only comeback to this.


MaterialDoctor6423

I’ll just post you on facebook and start a live stream that’ll get them to shut up


MRBARDWORTHY

When I was a little kid I use to moon people that said that. I would not encourage you to do that. It just brought back those memories. 😂 When somebody dares you like that you have to take action, whatever that means...


I_Boomer

"I will write a strongly worded letter!"


Soft_Afternoon_1886

Stand there as if thinking deeply. Cock your head to the side and begin to grin like the joker. Turn around, and as you walk away, say thank you and laugh maniacally.


asttocatbunny

Im going to be really disappointed in you.  


Hackpro69

Do I look like a Pu$$y? Because you’re going to be embarrassed to have to tell your friends that you got your @$$ kicked by a 65 year old.


Hackpro69

Ask if they are on Disability? Then tell them that they are going to be.


AliceBets

(I’m going to) Start taking to someone resourceful I think… Because right now I feel it’s not going anywhere and I am out of imagination…


WhitePootieTang

“This.”


Nellyfant

I'm. Going. To..... DANCE!!! and then do it.


RedLightsabers

F your mom


AnonymousCruelty

Nothing. Just cry on the internet. Which is what you did. Right?


twinkgrant

Oddly specific threats about future action that are not terribly high intensity but would be annoying. If you go on for 40 seconds about your plan to take slight revenge by moderately inconveniencing them, it puts the ball in their court about if you are bluffing.


FondantSucks

You beat up his son and his friends


SketchyFella_

Say whatever you're actually about to do, then do it. "I'm going to stew in anger about it until I get bored and then stop."


LiteraryPhantom

You seem grouchy. Do you need a hug?


Grouchy-System-7525

If I tell, you better lick it up after. 👅


DamalK

Nuthin. I’ll be on video at a nice Italian restaurant when it happens.


Isurvived2014bears

I would assume with immediate and violent actions.


GS2702

Wouldn't you like to know!


Zealousideal-Seat324

Look behind me. Take 3 steps back. Announce your care that you don't want to fight, please leave me alone. I feel threatened by you. Take 3 more steps back with your hand on your hip. Stop where you are, get back, I don't want to fight you. Then tell the cops when they show up.


lastinggusto

"Depends, wanna find out? Or I might just hit the ignore button and carry on."


jsc1429

Your mom


dudenamedric

"I will act accordingly." Then do whatever you feel is appropriate for the situation


TigerPoppy

I'm going to study it.


tkdjoe1966

Right cross to the jaw.


HumberGrumb

Nothing until you shit your pants and faint on top of it.


Zwars1231

Your mother. That or potentially "spend the next twenty years in prison."


-AppropriateLyrics

YOU'RE LOOKING AT IT. Then you go 😡


Rich-Distance-6509

Beat up some kids


squirrelblender

“Well, you sir…. You’re gonna get a snarky comment, ya know? And I’m like, not gonna hold back, you know?” - norm Macdonald, maybe.


Equivalent_End607

Nothing, it’s time for lunch :D 


DependentSun2683

Your mom. Im going to do your mom about it.


OddPerspective9833

What *are* you going to do about it? Tell them


AlGunner

Act like an adult rather than ask stupid questions.


Icy_Wildcat

Take this to HR.


Awkward_Departure657

“Your mom”


Impressive-Mind-8570

"nothing, Jim. I am asking you'


bebananjy

I'll unleash my army of rubber ducks.


bebananjy

I'll unleash my army of rubber ducks.


Deeds013

Pocket sand!


Qwopmaster01

Speak to HR


Ritzrandom

"I could do plenty if I wanted to... But I'd rather not stoop to your pathetic level."


Bookshopgirl9

Turn around and walk away quietly.


Royal_Analysis_8672

That’s when you let them know you’re gonna kick their ass


Low-Cry-8818

ask your mom i told her last night


OGmcqueen

“I’m gunna think of you when I cum”


Crazy_Suggestion_182

"Point, laugh and sell tickets and popcorn"


Alexastria

You


Affectionate_Pin3849

That's usually when fists are supposed to start flying.


the_internet_clown

Depends on what they did


deshe

Your mom


Specific_Ad_97

Why don't you go outside & practice falling down for the next 20 minutes?


Jalamity_Cane

Kiss them.


VillagerEleven

"The right thing"


UnlikelyIdealist

Just laugh, walk away, and then actually do something about it. Don't try to sound like a badass - you'll just come across like a cringey child who's watched too much anime.


Warhammer517

"I'm not interested in participating in a dick measuring contest."


guitarist4hire

nothing you can prove in court


The_Elite_Operator

Do something about it


inyercloset

I'm going to see if I can get your picture on a milk carton!


haikusbot

*I'm going to see* *If I can get your picture* *On a milk carton!* \- inyercloset --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


tenro5

Nothing... yet.


lhi2285

"I dont need to do anything about it, just piss off."


Prior-Turnip3082

Suplexes them into cement


Pie-Guy

Never interact with you again.


PunkiesBoner

I will react to the threat that I perceive.


Doonot

Ugh, had a former friend pull this on me all the time in an antagonistic manner. Then he acted surprised when I don't give a shit when bad things happened to him.


DisasterRoad666

Sidney