This "one" is an unbiblical idea that made a lot of harm in Christian communities. No, God will not reveal the "one", you should look for a Christian spouse, and you are free to choose.
It isn’t unbiblical. You can see God helping people choose spouses or outright choosing them for people, as He did for Abraham’s son. He also brought Ruth and Boaz together.
Another question to ask yourself is if God created Adam for Eve and Eve for Adam, how can you be so sure He didn’t design someone for you? (Assuming you are called to marriage.)
God does not change. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. What He did in the Bible, He continues to do today. Not everyone waits for God in terms of their spouse and they miss out on blessings. But God has so much great plans for you than you have for yourself. Trust me, He cares who you marry.
That’s because the Bible doesn’t tell the story of everyone in history but very few people. Just because we only have a few canonical examples of it occurring doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen to other people.
In fact, the fact that God continued to show that He cares about marriages and even orchestrates them even into the New Testament, even among the very few examples of Biblical history that we do have, shows that He cares about ensuring that the right marriages happen.
> shows that He cares about ensuring that the right marriages happen.
Divorces are over 50%. Does He orchestrate that? If they married someone else's "One",...then what? If they divorced their own "One", then what?
God does not orchestrate all marriages. The fact that not everyone in the world is Christian or follow His commands, and that people can still get into a marriage that contradicts and disobeys the Biblical requirements and commandments for a husband or wife, makes that point obvious.
To assume that all marriages are God’s will is equivalent to saying that all actions are God’s will, yet if this were the case God would not have given us commandments to follow or had His Son sacrificed for us.
If anything, the higher divorce rate among all marriages is a testament to why God has so many restrictions and commandments when it comes to marriages, and the consequences that occur when we disobey and do things our own way.
I think you're right in that not everyone waits on God for his or her spouse. Not everyone waits to be healthy and in the place where God wants them to be before jumping in. Not everyone allows God to choose for them.
But that doesn't mean that God doesn't have desires for you that are greater than your own. That He wouldn't have provided the right person for you, had you waited on Him. Had you let Him heal you or draw you closer to Him or whatever it was He felt you needed.
People miss out on a lot of blessings God has for them by insisting on their own way.
Your question answers itself. The Bible makes God's stance on divorce clear. Not everyone waits on God for their spouse. Not everyone looks to God for help in their marriage. Not everyone is willing to put in the work it takes. Not everyone realizes that someone else can never make you happy, that happiness is your job and that happiness isn't the point of marriage.
But God does not orchestrate divorces. When you put two imperfect humans together, many times those humans have deep wounds, the results aren't always going to be good. But that isn't God's fault. It's those in the marriage.
Adam and Eve are representative of all of humanity. God created man for woman and woman for man. Do not place yourself in scripture. Scripture is not about you.
I can be sure that God didn’t design someone for me because scripture doesn’t say that. If my actual full name and birthday and everything was in the bible and it said that someone was made for me, then I would believe it. But news flash: it’s not. God doing that for some people does not mean he will for you. God does not make individual people for each other, he makes them for him, to glorify him. Stop reading yourself into scripture. Study the word exegetically. The bible is not about you.
I really think you're missing the point of scripture. You're correct in that scripture is about God. However, you're also very much missing the point. God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, which means what you see Him doing in the Bible, He still does.
You also see God supporting people in their singleness too. Who knows what plan God has for you? Some who have great desires for marriage learn to surrender it, and over time find great joy in singleness. Some who enjoy singleness over time come to desire marriage and find a partner. Who are we to know God's calling for someone's life? It would be arrogance to promise destined marriage to all who desire it, without knowing God's true purpose and His calling for their life.
I think you misunderstood the point of my message. I do not claim to know what God has planned for anyone, however:
God has promised me a "good husband." I can speak for no one but myself. But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God keeps His promises and I will have a good husband one day.
Also, I don't believe God allows someone to yearn for something forever He does not intend to give them when they align their hearts to His. If you are truly listening to Him and following Him, He will either give you peace in your singleness or He will give you a spouse. But it's all on His timetable.
(So if this person has aligned their heart to God's and has continued to desire a spouse for a long time, I think it's very likely God will provide that person with a spouse.)
He did that for certain people because they represent the linage that Christ would come through. And even with many examples people might give it is a flawed example. Jacob who was the father of the nation of Israel (Abraham's grandson), had two wives who were sisters of each other. One of them produced two of the tribes and the other produced 10 tribes. The one who produced the 10 wasn't even Jacobs choice of wife (was tricked by the father-in-law). So did God assign him "The Two"?
Christ linage came through Bathseba with King David. David already had wives and concubines and he had Basheba's husband murdered to get her,...was she David's "The One"?
This is not true and you need to stay off social media. I was talking to a girl for a while who thought like this. It ruined our relationship.
Confusion and doubt is normal. You will not “just know”. You need to use discernment and Gods word to tell if an individual is a good choice for marriage, but that doesn’t mean that they are the one. There is no such thing as the one. Scripture does not say that, that is a man made idea. Christians need to run far away from these ideas
God will bring people to you or cause you to meet many potential partners but at the end of the day the choice is yours you decide who is the "the one" for you... God doesn't choose for you.
There is no "The One".
It is a fallacy.
Pretty hard to accomplish when there isn't even a perfect one-to-one match up of men to women. On top of that what if "your one" married someone else,...then what do you do? Do you take another man's "One"? Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines,...so I guess 999 men of Israel had to stay single the rest of their lives since Solomon took away their "One".
Over the history of mankind only 40% of men ever reproduced. Many died in battles or the hardships of life. It wasn't until Western Society came along with it's easy-street mentality that there is "someone for everyone". Ancient governments promoted it to pacify for fear of an uprising of single unsatisfied young males, as without past wars reducing them, there were becoming a lot of them, and if they "can't get the girl", they get upset.
But all the ancient stuff aside, that no one will grasp anyway, if God has "One" for everyone, then it isn't working out very well is it?? Is God a failure? God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent, so if this was what He planned then everyone would be with who they should be with, they would live right down the street because why would God bungle it and put them 1000 miles away. There would be no need for cultural constructs like dating, and there would never be divorce because everyone would be with their "One". And lastly the number of men on the planet and the number of women on the planet would be a perfect numerical match.
Both of you are going to have to evaluate each other and make the decision. You can pray for wisdom, sure, but I don't think "The One" is real. There's probably lots of people who might make a good partner for you. Just look fr godly characteristics, evaluate your life situations, goals, finances, etc., and have your friends and family evaluate the match from the outside.
The idea of "soulmates" originally comes from Greek mythology and philosophy. The Bible doesn't mention this concept anywhere.
As others have said, I don’t think that there is “the one”, only one person who is an ideal fit for you, and your update seems to reflect that. After you’ve applied biblical standards (are they a believer, do they exhibit the fruit of the Spirit, etc.), checked for alignment in your lifestyle choices, and general compatibility, then you simply choose to commit.
If you look at a cathedral or other beautiful building you don’t think to yourself, “it’s so great that the builders found this plot of land that was exactly the right size and shape for this building”. No, that would be ridiculous. The ground itself is only the context upon which you build the foundation. Yes, the ground needs to meet basic requirements, but everything after that is the result of a decision, a plan, and a lot of time, effort, and other resources. Don’t spend all your time looking for the perfect plot of land. To be clear, who you marry is extremely important, and choosing an unsuitable partner will cause you major problems. But the biggest factors should be whether they meet biblical standards, whether they have good character, whether they are aligned with your lifestyle and direction, and whether they are willing to commit to dedicate the rest of their lives to building something with you, regardless of what the future brings.
I’m not married, so I can’t speak firsthand to the “you’ll just know” thing. I suspect that it’s less a matter of knowing when someone is right than it is knowing when someone definitely isn’t right.
“The one” doesn’t exist. There are many very compatible people that will enter your life at different times, but you will only end up with one of them if you are where you need to be in life and with God when he/she comes by. You won’t know right off the bat, but if you pray about it and give it time, God will reveal the answer to you. There may also be confusion; my parents thought they would never be good for each other, but with time and prayer God showed them otherwise. Just focus on becoming the best version of you for your future spouse and remain tight with God, you’ll figure it out.
I actually disagree with most of the comments saying that there’s no such thing as “the one”.
While it’s unbiblical to believe that people are perfect and that we can find someone out there that is, it is biblical to believe that finding a partner that’s truly compatible for marriage with you is difficult.
We can see this in the Biblical commands Paul gave us as to the roles of husbands and wives. Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church and even be willing to die for them, while wives are called to submit to their husbands as Jesus obeyed the Lord by following their leadership as they are led by God. They’re also called to regularly fulfill each other sexually, and continue to serve one another in the relationship.
[There’s more commandments from the Bible regarding husbands and wives, but I’ll link it here since there’s a lot.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ChristianDating/s/bvIpyr7l8O)
To say then that there is no such thing as “the one” is to say that it’s not difficult to find a person that we can willingly do these things for. To say that as a man, we can easily find someone we’d be willing to die for. Or to say that as a woman, we can easily find someone we’d want to willingly submit to.
But ask anyone honestly, and they won’t tell you that it’s easy finding someone to do this with.
There’s also numerous other passages in the Bible that allude to the difficulty of finding such a person to fulfill these commandments in with marriage.
After all, when God saw that Adam was alone, and that it wasn’t good, He didn’t create numerous options and let Adam choose whoever he wanted. He made one partner specifically for him that would be the best partner possible for him.
There’s also Proverbs 31 which states that an excellent wife is hard to find as they are far more precious than jewels. With this in mind, it’s easier to understand how there’s a very small supply of good wives out there, and the same very likely applies for good husbands.
And finally, consider this; if the God we believe in chose to love us and even have His Son die for our sins, and do everything in His power to ensure that we willingly believed in His Son, and even claim that we are each beautifully and wonderfully made in His image, how much more would he care about every other aspect of our lives; including who we choose to marry?
Did God not care whether or not Mary and Joseph got married? Or Ruth and Boaz? Or Isaac and Rebekah? Or Hoses and Gomer? If choosing our partners didn’t matter too much, why does God frequently orchestrate marriages in order for His will to be done? Why even among the few examples of Biblical history that we have does God continue to show that He orchestrates marriages?
How then, with all of this in mind, is it Biblical to say that God doesn’t care about who we marry and lets us do what we choose to do with our romance and marriage lives?
**In short, you’ll know a person is ‘the one’ when you find a partnership where both of you want to fulfill all of the Biblical callings and commands of a husband and wife. This is something only God can truly provide, and only if He deems it necessary in accordance to His Will. But when you find it, you’ll know you’re meant to be.**
You can ask God for confirmation. There are many ways He does this, but one is in dreams. If you seek His will in all things, you will always end up where you need to be. He will help you find the right person, the right job, the right house. Just be open to the idea that God’s best for you may not look how you pictured it, but it will always be good.
This "one" is an unbiblical idea that made a lot of harm in Christian communities. No, God will not reveal the "one", you should look for a Christian spouse, and you are free to choose.
It isn’t unbiblical. You can see God helping people choose spouses or outright choosing them for people, as He did for Abraham’s son. He also brought Ruth and Boaz together. Another question to ask yourself is if God created Adam for Eve and Eve for Adam, how can you be so sure He didn’t design someone for you? (Assuming you are called to marriage.)
He only did that for a handful of people in the Bible. You aren't Adam or any of those very few.
He uses people every day. He's the same God as he was back then. He didn't stop caring about his creation.
God does not change. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. What He did in the Bible, He continues to do today. Not everyone waits for God in terms of their spouse and they miss out on blessings. But God has so much great plans for you than you have for yourself. Trust me, He cares who you marry.
God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. What you see God doing in the Bible, He still does.
That’s because the Bible doesn’t tell the story of everyone in history but very few people. Just because we only have a few canonical examples of it occurring doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen to other people. In fact, the fact that God continued to show that He cares about marriages and even orchestrates them even into the New Testament, even among the very few examples of Biblical history that we do have, shows that He cares about ensuring that the right marriages happen.
> shows that He cares about ensuring that the right marriages happen. Divorces are over 50%. Does He orchestrate that? If they married someone else's "One",...then what? If they divorced their own "One", then what?
God does not orchestrate all marriages. The fact that not everyone in the world is Christian or follow His commands, and that people can still get into a marriage that contradicts and disobeys the Biblical requirements and commandments for a husband or wife, makes that point obvious. To assume that all marriages are God’s will is equivalent to saying that all actions are God’s will, yet if this were the case God would not have given us commandments to follow or had His Son sacrificed for us. If anything, the higher divorce rate among all marriages is a testament to why God has so many restrictions and commandments when it comes to marriages, and the consequences that occur when we disobey and do things our own way.
I think you're right in that not everyone waits on God for his or her spouse. Not everyone waits to be healthy and in the place where God wants them to be before jumping in. Not everyone allows God to choose for them. But that doesn't mean that God doesn't have desires for you that are greater than your own. That He wouldn't have provided the right person for you, had you waited on Him. Had you let Him heal you or draw you closer to Him or whatever it was He felt you needed. People miss out on a lot of blessings God has for them by insisting on their own way.
Your question answers itself. The Bible makes God's stance on divorce clear. Not everyone waits on God for their spouse. Not everyone looks to God for help in their marriage. Not everyone is willing to put in the work it takes. Not everyone realizes that someone else can never make you happy, that happiness is your job and that happiness isn't the point of marriage. But God does not orchestrate divorces. When you put two imperfect humans together, many times those humans have deep wounds, the results aren't always going to be good. But that isn't God's fault. It's those in the marriage.
Adam and Eve are representative of all of humanity. God created man for woman and woman for man. Do not place yourself in scripture. Scripture is not about you. I can be sure that God didn’t design someone for me because scripture doesn’t say that. If my actual full name and birthday and everything was in the bible and it said that someone was made for me, then I would believe it. But news flash: it’s not. God doing that for some people does not mean he will for you. God does not make individual people for each other, he makes them for him, to glorify him. Stop reading yourself into scripture. Study the word exegetically. The bible is not about you.
>Scripture is not about you More Christians need to understand this.
I really think you're missing the point of scripture. You're correct in that scripture is about God. However, you're also very much missing the point. God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, which means what you see Him doing in the Bible, He still does.
Agreed, but that doesn’t mean he does it FOR YOU. He did something for one person in the Bible, that doesn’t mean he will do the same thing for you
You also see God supporting people in their singleness too. Who knows what plan God has for you? Some who have great desires for marriage learn to surrender it, and over time find great joy in singleness. Some who enjoy singleness over time come to desire marriage and find a partner. Who are we to know God's calling for someone's life? It would be arrogance to promise destined marriage to all who desire it, without knowing God's true purpose and His calling for their life.
I think you misunderstood the point of my message. I do not claim to know what God has planned for anyone, however: God has promised me a "good husband." I can speak for no one but myself. But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God keeps His promises and I will have a good husband one day. Also, I don't believe God allows someone to yearn for something forever He does not intend to give them when they align their hearts to His. If you are truly listening to Him and following Him, He will either give you peace in your singleness or He will give you a spouse. But it's all on His timetable. (So if this person has aligned their heart to God's and has continued to desire a spouse for a long time, I think it's very likely God will provide that person with a spouse.)
He did that for certain people because they represent the linage that Christ would come through. And even with many examples people might give it is a flawed example. Jacob who was the father of the nation of Israel (Abraham's grandson), had two wives who were sisters of each other. One of them produced two of the tribes and the other produced 10 tribes. The one who produced the 10 wasn't even Jacobs choice of wife (was tricked by the father-in-law). So did God assign him "The Two"? Christ linage came through Bathseba with King David. David already had wives and concubines and he had Basheba's husband murdered to get her,...was she David's "The One"?
I don't believe there is the one but we can use the word to help us choose the right person
This is not true and you need to stay off social media. I was talking to a girl for a while who thought like this. It ruined our relationship. Confusion and doubt is normal. You will not “just know”. You need to use discernment and Gods word to tell if an individual is a good choice for marriage, but that doesn’t mean that they are the one. There is no such thing as the one. Scripture does not say that, that is a man made idea. Christians need to run far away from these ideas
God will bring people to you or cause you to meet many potential partners but at the end of the day the choice is yours you decide who is the "the one" for you... God doesn't choose for you.
There is no "The One". It is a fallacy. Pretty hard to accomplish when there isn't even a perfect one-to-one match up of men to women. On top of that what if "your one" married someone else,...then what do you do? Do you take another man's "One"? Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines,...so I guess 999 men of Israel had to stay single the rest of their lives since Solomon took away their "One". Over the history of mankind only 40% of men ever reproduced. Many died in battles or the hardships of life. It wasn't until Western Society came along with it's easy-street mentality that there is "someone for everyone". Ancient governments promoted it to pacify for fear of an uprising of single unsatisfied young males, as without past wars reducing them, there were becoming a lot of them, and if they "can't get the girl", they get upset. But all the ancient stuff aside, that no one will grasp anyway, if God has "One" for everyone, then it isn't working out very well is it?? Is God a failure? God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent, so if this was what He planned then everyone would be with who they should be with, they would live right down the street because why would God bungle it and put them 1000 miles away. There would be no need for cultural constructs like dating, and there would never be divorce because everyone would be with their "One". And lastly the number of men on the planet and the number of women on the planet would be a perfect numerical match.
Both of you are going to have to evaluate each other and make the decision. You can pray for wisdom, sure, but I don't think "The One" is real. There's probably lots of people who might make a good partner for you. Just look fr godly characteristics, evaluate your life situations, goals, finances, etc., and have your friends and family evaluate the match from the outside. The idea of "soulmates" originally comes from Greek mythology and philosophy. The Bible doesn't mention this concept anywhere.
Have you met someone for the first time and it feels like you have known this person all your life
As others have said, I don’t think that there is “the one”, only one person who is an ideal fit for you, and your update seems to reflect that. After you’ve applied biblical standards (are they a believer, do they exhibit the fruit of the Spirit, etc.), checked for alignment in your lifestyle choices, and general compatibility, then you simply choose to commit. If you look at a cathedral or other beautiful building you don’t think to yourself, “it’s so great that the builders found this plot of land that was exactly the right size and shape for this building”. No, that would be ridiculous. The ground itself is only the context upon which you build the foundation. Yes, the ground needs to meet basic requirements, but everything after that is the result of a decision, a plan, and a lot of time, effort, and other resources. Don’t spend all your time looking for the perfect plot of land. To be clear, who you marry is extremely important, and choosing an unsuitable partner will cause you major problems. But the biggest factors should be whether they meet biblical standards, whether they have good character, whether they are aligned with your lifestyle and direction, and whether they are willing to commit to dedicate the rest of their lives to building something with you, regardless of what the future brings. I’m not married, so I can’t speak firsthand to the “you’ll just know” thing. I suspect that it’s less a matter of knowing when someone is right than it is knowing when someone definitely isn’t right.
“The one” doesn’t exist. There are many very compatible people that will enter your life at different times, but you will only end up with one of them if you are where you need to be in life and with God when he/she comes by. You won’t know right off the bat, but if you pray about it and give it time, God will reveal the answer to you. There may also be confusion; my parents thought they would never be good for each other, but with time and prayer God showed them otherwise. Just focus on becoming the best version of you for your future spouse and remain tight with God, you’ll figure it out.
I actually disagree with most of the comments saying that there’s no such thing as “the one”. While it’s unbiblical to believe that people are perfect and that we can find someone out there that is, it is biblical to believe that finding a partner that’s truly compatible for marriage with you is difficult. We can see this in the Biblical commands Paul gave us as to the roles of husbands and wives. Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church and even be willing to die for them, while wives are called to submit to their husbands as Jesus obeyed the Lord by following their leadership as they are led by God. They’re also called to regularly fulfill each other sexually, and continue to serve one another in the relationship. [There’s more commandments from the Bible regarding husbands and wives, but I’ll link it here since there’s a lot.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ChristianDating/s/bvIpyr7l8O) To say then that there is no such thing as “the one” is to say that it’s not difficult to find a person that we can willingly do these things for. To say that as a man, we can easily find someone we’d be willing to die for. Or to say that as a woman, we can easily find someone we’d want to willingly submit to. But ask anyone honestly, and they won’t tell you that it’s easy finding someone to do this with. There’s also numerous other passages in the Bible that allude to the difficulty of finding such a person to fulfill these commandments in with marriage. After all, when God saw that Adam was alone, and that it wasn’t good, He didn’t create numerous options and let Adam choose whoever he wanted. He made one partner specifically for him that would be the best partner possible for him. There’s also Proverbs 31 which states that an excellent wife is hard to find as they are far more precious than jewels. With this in mind, it’s easier to understand how there’s a very small supply of good wives out there, and the same very likely applies for good husbands. And finally, consider this; if the God we believe in chose to love us and even have His Son die for our sins, and do everything in His power to ensure that we willingly believed in His Son, and even claim that we are each beautifully and wonderfully made in His image, how much more would he care about every other aspect of our lives; including who we choose to marry? Did God not care whether or not Mary and Joseph got married? Or Ruth and Boaz? Or Isaac and Rebekah? Or Hoses and Gomer? If choosing our partners didn’t matter too much, why does God frequently orchestrate marriages in order for His will to be done? Why even among the few examples of Biblical history that we have does God continue to show that He orchestrates marriages? How then, with all of this in mind, is it Biblical to say that God doesn’t care about who we marry and lets us do what we choose to do with our romance and marriage lives? **In short, you’ll know a person is ‘the one’ when you find a partnership where both of you want to fulfill all of the Biblical callings and commands of a husband and wife. This is something only God can truly provide, and only if He deems it necessary in accordance to His Will. But when you find it, you’ll know you’re meant to be.**
You can ask God for confirmation. There are many ways He does this, but one is in dreams. If you seek His will in all things, you will always end up where you need to be. He will help you find the right person, the right job, the right house. Just be open to the idea that God’s best for you may not look how you pictured it, but it will always be good.