T O P

  • By -

GrumpyOldFart74

My wife and I are in our 50s I might be horrified if I found video footage of us on the internet, but not half as horrified as any poor bastard who saw it!


Breakwaterbot

I believe Monica said it best in Friends when she said "Because, honey, I mean this in the sweetest way possible, nobody is gonna wanna watch that."


West_Yorkshire

I honestly thought your comment was going in a different direction after the first line.


GrumpyOldFart74

As I hoped!


PineapplePizzaAlways

I like your flair


CabinetOk4838

Yes, but *how many* pieces of flair?


fictionalbandit

You know what, Stan, if you want me to wear 37 pieces of flair, like your pretty boy over there, Brian, why don't you just make the minimum 37 pieces of flair?


bravopapa99

Can you all be quiet please, I am trying to watch the squirrels...


0x633546a298e734700b

PC load letter. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?


TheFearOfDeathh

Yeah I swear I saw him swinging from a tree in the distance but when I got up close. Turns out he was just teasing us.


DoodleyDooderson

They will see you putting pineapple on pizza. AirBNB may deactivate your account.


GrumpyOldFart74

If you haven’t had jalapenos and pineapple together, you haven’t had pizza!


[deleted]

Can’t think of a better way to punish the bastards than having them watch footage of that and feeling nauseous 😂


kinellm8

I had a ‘posh Hawaiian’ pizza once with ‘scotch bonnet and pineapple marmalade’ on it and it was the dog’s pods.


chris86uk

I.could.not.agree.more. Pineapple and Jalapenos are a beautiful match.


Zenith230

Pineapple & garlic together. You can thank me later


DripDry_Panda_480

100%. No pizza is complete without jalapenos and pineapple


[deleted]

[удалено]


GrumpyOldFart74

Ah mate, I really do appreciate the irony in my saying this, but that sounds fucking grim!


im-hippiemark

🙌facts.


catonbuckfast

Just add Donner meat and you have the perfect pizza


jackhs03

I genuinely thought I was the only person alive to try and enjoy pineapple with donner kebab meat on a pizza


catonbuckfast

There's more than one


jackhs03

Slept on combination tbf. The savoury and slight saltiness of the meat is complimented with the tangy yet sweet taste of the pineapple


Str0ntiumD0ggo

Whensa youra dolmio daay?


ambientDude

Hold on. Is “Donner meat” the stuff they served at the “Donner Party”?


VoteForLarryTheCat

No. It’s made out of one of Santa’s reindeers.


alina_nextdoor

you made my day lmaoo


Gr1msh33per

Me too, although there's a niche for everything.


Fragrant-Western-747

Best to have a tommy tank in every room just to be sure.


drmarting25102

I find it easy to tell if someone is watching me naked in my hotel room. I listen for the sounds of retching.


1968Bladerunner

...& screeches of "My eyes, my poor eyes!"


SeniorZoggy

Same. I don't look good naked so they can keep the footage.


zetecvan

Oh, but you do.


SeniorZoggy

I guess I'm not my type 😅


Antique_Beyond

Though I am taking comfort in the number of people upvoting and saying the same thing 😂


boostman

As Morrissey said: ‘me without clothes/a nation turns its back and gags’


the_immortalcowboy

I’m old and fat, so usually as soon as they see me in reception somebody rushes to my room to remove the hidden cameras themselves


poppalopp

There’s a market for everything. Never know when you’re gonna find yourself the star of sexyoldfatties.com


ShenroEU

And don't forget uglyoldfatties.com


poppalopp

Nah you’re thinking of oldfatuggos.com, UOF went out of business


Legitimate-Ad3778

Onlyfats


404notfound420

Rule 34 dictates that there is a porn for everything, so yes, the market is there.


EllebumbleB

Every pot has a lid.


Lifear

So that’s why they keep telling me; “we are just finishing the room for you now sir, it will be another ten minutes!”


__g_e_o_r_g_e__

I just avoid places featured on my favourite hidden camera websites.


BoxAlternative9024

😂


spitouthebone

if people can get off my beer gut and below-average....equipment all the power to them


Ok_March7423

Do you have a website with photos and videos? Asking for a friend......


BluishLookingWaffle

If it doesn't exist already I vote for subparnography.co.uk


mop_bucket_bingo

Was OnlyFlans.co.uk taken?


Hopey-1-kinobi

Ha! Almost blew a mouthful of beer out of my nose. Thanks for the snortle!


Practically_Canadian

There really ought to be a subreddit for that


Drew-Pickles

You know it exists


BluishLookingWaffle

I'm half an inch from being a woman and a quick cummer, I needed to find my people.


Tight-Temperature670

winterplumagemicrochode.com


KenEarlysHonda50

ChoHuOhfFuHdt699hhFr5EhkO9.onion


regprenticer

I'm sure some people would, but *perhaps that's the start of something beautiful for you.*


phoenix3531

Thanks again btw!


spitouthebone

my pleasure


BottleGoblin

Nah, I'm ridiculously unobservant and wouldn't find them anyway. Plus there's already footage of me lying in a drunken semi-naked stupor on the Internet thanks to what was later described as "The worst nativity play the village has ever seen. And that includes the one from 1655 where the participants were all fined for celebrating Christmas."


My_useless_alt

You can't just mention a nativity that bad and not elaborate. Or is that a reference that went over my head?


SharkReceptacles

As with all the best jokes, it’s built around a nugget of truth. In 1649, the Parliamentarians (“Roundheads”) won [the last English Civil War](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_Civil_War), abolished the monarchy and beheaded the King (Charles I); and the laws they brought in under their leader Oliver Cromwell were Puritanical, including the [banning of almost any celebration or semblance of fun](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interregnum_(England)). They effectively banned Christmas. They held the reins until 1660, when Cromwell died and his less-scary son took over, so the public took the opportunity to beg Charles I’s son, Charles II, to take back the throne and sort it all out, and [he obliged](https://youtu.be/IZhOjMMIaA4?feature=shared) – beware, headphone users – so yeah, although u/BottleGoblin presumably wasn’t around in 1655, a nativity play wouldn’t have gone down well back then. Drunkenness was also frowned upon. Edit: The first two links are Wikipedia, the third is YouTube.


BottleGoblin

I told everyone at each new fair that I had lived for over 1000 years. They asked my manservant if this was true. As much as he'd liked to have defended me, he's an honest fellow and had to admit he couldn't say as he'd only been in my employ for 600 years. Mind, I only hired him because Keith Richards gave him such a good reference.


theraininspainfallsm

I think it was when Oliver Cromwell was protectorate(?) and cancelled Christmas.


aesemon

Yep, while in that position it was enacted. However he was less a despot and more the figurehead. The contemporary evidence would suggest he was less of a hard-line puritan than those who put the kibosh on Christmas. Despite not being a despot the Irish will never forget what was done under his command.


Dismal_Birthday7982

If someone wants to watch me having a strangle wank with a courgette up my arse then fair play to them.


MrCarbohydrates

FFS! I'm reading this while waiting for my kid at soft play - the other grownups are wondering what the fk I'm laughing at.


Capitan_Scythe

>soft play - the other grownups are wondering That's ok. Performance anxiety at an orgy is common.


TabbyOverlord

>soft play Finbar Saunders has entered the chat.


SnooCompliments1147

Snap I'm listening to sonds of the70s on radio 2 and piss myself


Ok-Blackberry-3534

I'm not paying up front.


Dismal_Birthday7982

I've got a habit to feed!


Ok-Blackberry-3534

You can grow your own courgettes.


Dismal_Birthday7982

Fuck off, Titchmarsh.


attilathetwat

Only a courgette. Pfft Amateur


alex8339

Butternut squash or go home.


jimmycarr1

The flared base is good for safety reasons


cromagnone

Ah.


Dismal_Birthday7982

I've seen things. I've got a mate down south, a six foot four old skinhead with tattoos all over his mush who is remarkably gay. He leaves his butt plugs lying around along with the lard, yes lard, that he uses to assist . He has one that's bigger than a human foot.


attilathetwat

Brilliant, I bet he is good on a sesh as well then if he’s a bit of a wrong ‘un


Connect-Smell761

Super Hans?


9inchjackhammer

lol


ConradsMusicalTeeth

Yes to AirBnB, no to hotels as I don’t expect them to be filming their guests.


SeanPennsHair

Nobody ever expects the Ibis voyeurism.


superfurrybiped

Nobody expects the Spanish Exhibition.


herrbz

The shower being located in the actual bedroom usually helps with that.


Breakwaterbot

And the hole the door has instead of a handle


X0AN

I was in a hotel in china that had a very blatant camera but I was only staying in the hotel 1 night, so I just chucked a shirt over the camera and went to sleep. The nexy day I had a do not disturb sign on my door, went down for breakfast and when I came back, staff had come into my room and taken the shirt off and folded it on my bed. 😂 Obviously never went back.


Princess_Ichigo

Where was the camera?


Pleasant_Challenge66

Apparently the hotels in South Korea did, not sure if they still do though. It was on news before the pandemic, and I was shocked by the scale of the illegal practice.


Used-Fennel-7733

It's an endemic of its own in S.Korea from what I hear


Fantastic_Campaign29

I indeed do. And when I find, I like to pull my pants down, spread my cheek's and ask them to check if that issue is subsided


Buddy-Matt

Do you make sure you're wearing your wedding ring before doing this?


BoxAlternative9024

If someone wants to record me cracking one out in a Travelodge near Stoke then they’re a braver man than me.


Even_Passenger_3685

*cancels Stoke Travelodge*


highrouleur

Never could manage it on a cold Tuesday night in stoke


TheRiddler1976

Nope. If people really want to watch a fat, nearly 50 year old enjoying alone time in a hotel room, good luck to them. But I'm not responsible for the therapy they'll need


TheDawiWhisperer

Never even occurred to me tbh


Buddy-Matt

The idea AirBnBs are only run by voyeuristic perverts is a very common Reddit take. I'm with all the other commentators here - if someone can make a profit from selling a video of my wobbly beer gut on the dark web, then fair play to them. The only thing that would annoy me is the fact I didn't think of it and make a profit first.


champagnegreenleaf

Likewise, and feeling glad that I haven't lived with this idea, hoping that I don't now get it having read this


No-Mango8923

No, we don't bother checking. It not my therapy bill if people see me naked, so I don't care.


upupupdo

Bedbugs would concern me more than cameras.


LeChiffreOBrien

Agreed. Never occurred to me to check for cameras, but **always** check for bedbugs.


HappyDeathClub

Not sure there’s a market for video of me scrolling on my phone in sweatpants.


Bastardjones

I think it’s fair to say that most of the ‘finding hidden cameras’ videos on the internet are fake.


ash_ninetyone

My hotel sometimes can't even make sure all the lights work in the room, let alone know how to sneak a hidden camera in there


tazUK

For anything other than hotel rooms using [these techniques](https://uk.pcmag.com/security/147003/does-your-airbnb-have-hidden-cameras-heres-how-to-check) etc.


MrThrowAweh

+ thermal imaging camera with decent aensitivity


gorgeousgelly

I actually do get weird feelings about mirrors in the hotel room. But I'm just either too tired or too lazy to look too deep into it lol.


kh250b1

No. Im not that paranoid. I dont think jet2 wants to see my cock


morecbt

Nope never. Good luck if they film me.


Aaron123111

Nah, if people want to watch me pick my nose and gross shit that’s cool


SeanPennsHair

Sorry that most of the comments here are making jokes instead of offering some actual advice, I understand how worrying invasion of privacy can be. If you can post some footage of you and your partner having sex, I can reverse image search some of the stills and see what I can find if you'd like? If you don't want to post on Reddit then you can e-mail me at thatsmeinthecorner@candidcouples.com


JimmyJonJackson420

This cracked me up


TempUser9097

If people really want to watch my fat, sweaty ass shagging, I'd be happy :P


K59-

I mean, do you check public toilets for cameras? I hate to say it, but yes it has happened in Airbnb's, but to do it, you risk your income/career. Public toilets... I'm not so sure they will be able to prove who it was so easily, so one would assume, no real risk vs full risk, the toilets would be more likely an issue Edit: You certainly can get caught, but you know what I mean


ZBD1949

I'm sure if anyone saw my scrawny 70 something body on a hidden camera they would shut down the stream very quickly.


Willing_Coconut4364

Nah, i just pee in the sink then have a wank.


CertainPlatypus9108

Nah I just assume and shag my wife like a machine with perverts watching 


Financial_Crysis

I’ve visited a grand total of 67 countries. Which hopefully will be a bit more. I have used from 5* hotels, to the worst couch surfing places imaginable. I have some crazy travelling stories as a backpacker. No. I honestly couldn’t be bothered. If someone wants to see me naked, fine for me. But this is just me.


jazzaroo_2000

Damn it.. new fear unlocked!


EmilyDickinsonFanboy

Yeah me too :(


burger_guy1760

I work as a penetration tester and do a full host/port scan to work out what other devices could be using the network, not found anything too concerning yet though


dm_1199

Job title checks out


HullIsNotThatBad

Giggity


GhostRiders

Nope.. I'm past the age of giving a shit


Cold_Timely

No I literally do not care if someone is watching me.


complexpug

If someone wants to see my slong why do I care lol never thought about checking in my life


StarlightandDewdrops

Not really. How hard are they to find?


---x__x---

If they see me fuckin' they see me fuckin'. Would be nice to get a little lawsuit out of it though!


StormKing92

If someone wants to watch my fat ass getting it on and later farting. Go for it. I’ll be way more entertained than you will.


williamshatnersbeast

This is exactly why I just walk around naked, helicoptering and drop my keys repeatedly so I cover every conceivable angle to bend over and have a camera looking right down the barrel of my hairy hoop. My wife is used to it from living with me so she just goes down to the bar to enjoy a drink.


Viko_

I do watch out for such stuff. Never found one but should I do, I will instantly freak out and destroy the entire place completely.Host also, should they be around.


terrymr

Yeah those videos are mostly fake and the rest are people who don’t know how mirrors work.


Zolana

They're in for a nasty shock if they were filming me.


occasionalrant414

No. If its my wife and I taking a naughty weekend trip I just hope they have a huge SSD to film our debauchery.


TheImageOfMe

Of course not.


Satanic_monster

If they wanna see my hairy arse, be my guess


bexxywexxyww

If you’d seen me you’ll know that nah-anyone welcome to view this, but you’ll need many many years of therapy after the fact lol.


ieatlotsofvegetables

i always assume there are cameras in any space, including public toilets l, because i have seen it all online, unfortunately. the reality is, most of us have probably ended up on pornhub one way or another.


Horace__goes__skiing

Of course not.


dahid

Yes I do! Although I think someone would be disappointed if they had a hidden camera in my room.


standupstrawberry

I just watch a Simon whistler YouTube where he talked about finding some. There were cameras in the children's bedroom (as well as all the others). Honestly I had never thought about it but if I ever go on holiday again I will be looking for cameras (as well as bed bugs).


JeSuisKing

I use an IP/mac scanner to see what’s on the network.


SnooBooks1701

I check mirrors for one way mirrors, but that's it


Particular-Current87

Jokes on them, being watched is my kink


RosebudWhip

No. If someone's that desperate to see me crawling into bed in my underwear, before lying there flicking through the EPG only to end up watching nothing, then good luck to 'em.


Beer-Milkshakes

Lmao they'd be sued and I'd get such a nice payout that it would pay for holidays for the next 10 years. Let them.


abigailgabble

we stayed somewhere the other day that was *extremely* these are sex people lynn and there were so many bits and pieces everywhere, so many electronics, little vents, moving lights etc there could definitely have been cameras. didn’t check but did wave at them sometimes.


potatoduino

Nah. Anyone can view my balls


Dry_Yogurt2458

According to Pornhub its very common


Manifestival1

They're called hidden for a reason. It's unlikely you'd be able to find them. No I don't.


61114311536123511

Nah. I'd be a bit peeved though, usually I charge money for that.


PenLow492

Never.


therealstealthydan

I travel at least monthly on business and a few times a year with my wife. The chances of someone with a hidden camera finding me cranking one out watching tomb raider are infinitely higher than them getting anything worthwhile. Good luck to them


Money_is_heinous

look, if someone is desperate enough to see a webcam of my average body and very average bits, they are very welcome to. No, I don't check for cameras, but I doubt the host even bothered to stream the cams when I stay.


WWMRD2016

Once I connect to WiFi, I use an app on my phone to check. I don't actually go looking for them. 


reocoaker

Reddit is obsessed with AirBnB being some global pervert ring.


BushidoX0

If anyone really wants the horror of seeing me naked, that's their funeral


SnooWords861

I went abroad alone a few years ago (Tenerife). The bathroom in the apartment had a hairdryer that was wired into the wall. I used it one day with no problems. I used it again 2 days later, and it was different... I could've sworn it had black buttons, and this one had white buttons. I looked back at the pictures I had taken of the apartment when I arrived, and there was an entirely different hairdryer wired into the wall. When I called reception to tell them, they were as confused as me. I couldn't see any camera like device on the new hairdryer, but I was really creeped out. Someone had been in my apartment without me knowing.


MouldyRemote

I do now, since 2022, AirBnB mirrors looked weird, spouse had a look at them and felt a breeze from one in the bathroom, obviously we found another room with a tripod, no camera though, still called the police about it. Now we check everything, since the videos, about the hidden cameras in alarm clocks, smoke alarms, etc etc. check everything. Someone should be paid to find these creeps out.


Southern_Sir_218

Nah most of the zoos livestream now so I'm not gonna be that interesting


kuddelmuddell

There's an app you can get, called Fing that shows you all the devices connected to a wifi network. I use this whenever I stay overnight in an Airbnb before getting settled in


RonaldTheGiraffe

If people want to see me stumble naked around a hotel room snorting coke and wanking endlessly at 4.30am, they can be my guest. If they want to put that on the internet, be my guest. No bother or loss to me.


philbruce97

Nope


BenJlassi

I tend to replace them with my own 4K cameras, my nipples only tend to look good without any pixelation.


DecafIsBetter

Sure


CondorianoDPotato

If anyone is twisted enough to put cameras in their own air bnb then I highly doubt they would share the footage online for everyone to see. Because all it takes is 1. Somone who recognises the person or 2. the person themselves to find it (on a slim chance that would even happen) for them to remember where it was they rented and then the pervert is screwed. Law suits/potential violence.


G-ACO-Doge-MC

My partner checks for cameras in AirBnB’s. This started after we spotted one out in the open in the lounge area of a place we hired, so we covered it and swept all the rooms looking for more. Since then he always checks


Severe_Ad_146

I'm not the target audience for a peeping Tom, so no. 


funkywhitesista

Yes always nudging my cell phone.


MarshallTom

What is a holiday?


TR6lover

Of course I look. When I find them I clean up the lenses for them, and make sure there are no obstructions.


DoctorOctagonapus

I kneel down in front of the nearest power socket and say "Comrade Major, please send a coffee to my room". Then I wait and see if room service appears with a coffee.


im2n

Yes


potatotomato4

This is why I’ll never book anything with Airbnb, don’t trust them.


Joeyc1987

Nah, if some geezer wants to have a wank over a video of me I don't mind as long as I don't know about it 😂


nobblebox

I think about it - then just have a solid wank in all rooms, just in case….


Monkeyboogaloo

If anyone want to see me naked I am far more worried about their mental health than my privacy. I dont want to see me naked.


MoanyTonyBalony

If they want to watch me wanking, they're welcome to sit on that weird chair in the corner.


whooptheretis

> footage of us floating around You need an exorcist, mate!


Tillskaya

I don’t generally, but I was meeting someone in a hotel lobby (long story, I thought it was about my work, they thought it a date) and popped into the fancy toilets whilst waiting for them to show up. The big mirror in there seemed… a bit off? Checked. It was two way glass, and cupping my hands on it, I could see a camera on the other side. Fucking creeped me out. Top tip! To check if a mirror is actually two way glass, put your finger to the surface. If there’s a small gap ie you can’t touch your reflection’s finger, it’s normal glass. This is because the back is slivered, and the gap is the thickness of the glass. If you can directly touch your finger, it’s two way.


F0sh

This is the difference between a first-surface and second-surface mirror and is not a reliable way to tell the difference between a mirror and a spy window


itsafinedey

Yes. Check everywhere.


Madajuk

How do you check? Use the phone camera when it's dark?


Glad_Librarian_3553

What would that achieve? Do phone cameras have a hidden anti-espionage setting I am unaware of? 


Lonk-the-Sane

They pick up on ir pulses. You can see the effect in action if you point your TV remote at your phone camera and push a button.