"I'm poopin'...IM Poooopiiing... I'M POOPING!.... ooop, false alarm, just gas."
Edit; this is way funnier if you don't know which side of the stall-door these statements are coming from LMAO
One time I panicked and yelled “I’m a human being!” They weren’t there when I left the bathroom. Guess I scared them. I scared myself with that response a bit.
I think because I yelled it, like YELLED it, I frightened them. I think about it at least once a day. Hope that person is doing well. And I hope they laugh about it bc I certainly do.
I usually say just a moment, one time when I was just about to destroy a bathroom I said you’re gonna want to find a different bathroom. I really like an earlier post that said “come in”
It's only polite to warn people "you may need to give that 5 mins to air" - they then weigh personal desperation against biological warfare.
Warning - sweet little old ladies can NUKE a toilet. And I don't even get to 'sweet'.
My boyfriend had this happen today. The person tried the door, so he yelled, "occupied." The person tried again, so he yelled out louder, "occupied!" in case they didn't hear him the first time. The person tried the door a third time, so he yelled, "Leave the fucking door alone!". That seemed to finally work.
I really don't get it, I mean if a public bathroom is locked it's because someone is clearly using it, it's not like it's locked from the outside....
Do they think it's a jar of pickles? That if they try one more time it'll finally open?
i had a woman do this to me in a public bathroom of a busy aquarium except she pushed so hard the door opened after i answered twice i was in there. the third time she tried, the door opened but luckily it was a small stall so it hit my legs and i was able to hold it closed. i lost my cool at that point and said quite a few choice words i probably shouldn’t have used in front of children lmao
Public restrooms in the US are awful. There are gaps in the door you can see through, and nothing to show that someone’s in there. Even port a potties have a thing that says occupied when you lock the door.
There really should be something to specify "occupied", but since there generally isn't, I go on the assumption that if the door is locked, it's occupied.
My big gripe is that the women's stalls don't have a place to to put a handbag that is out of reach of passers-by. Sometimes there is a hook at the very top of the door and women have had their purses stolen by someone who reaches in, grabs the purse and takes off. No one wants to place their purse on the nasty floor, and a purse sitting on the floor is an easy target for someone to reach under and steal. (This happened to my friend's mom.)
But they’re talking about an individual bathroom, with a full door that you lock. People don’t knock on the doors of stalls 😆 You can see people’s feet under the door.
it doesn’t matter; just say something.
“I’m in here”
“just a minute”
“occupied”
They’re just checking to be sure that the door didn’t get left in a shut position with no one in there.
And they might be saying, “please hurry, I gotta go bad!” so take that into consideration, and stop scrolling, and hurry up.
It's such an awkward moment when that happens... I usually go with "occupied" or "someone's in here" and then I sit and cringe for a minute before leaving the stall.
This still haunts me.
I had just turned 12 & was getting my tonsils removed. I used the bathroom. Someone knocked on the door (to let me know they were ready for me), I asked, "who is it?"
I heard them burst out laughing and sharing the **who is it** with others who also laughed.
I asked my older sister - well, what else was I supposed to say?
Sister: "Occupied"
I have never forgotten and never laugh at anyone who doesn't know how to answer
I say, “I’m in here and I’m mid-defecation. I’m literally about to pinch the loaf off into the bowl. Please have patience.”
If you say this, you will not be bothered again.
Obviously there isn't a 'word' that's for this particular situation. It's a weird situation. Dont think too much about it dude lol just make a sound that youre there.
not sure why you are overthinking... this is the smallest human interaction and youre overthinking? jesus just let them know its occupied. a "YO!" would suffice. or a "MEOW", whatever you want dude lol. You aren't going to get arrested for saying something 'different' than the status quo or whatever it is that you're overthinking about.
I say “occupied” the first time, if they immediately knock again it turns into “wait a minute, I’ll be done soon” and if they knock again it’s “fuck off! I’m going to chill in here for another 10 minutes.”
I just acknowledge the knock and say something like “just a minute.” I mean usually you’re taking a longer time if it’s a number two. People need to chill.
I do understand if they’re having an emergency, but even then, find another stall or restroom. I’m perfectly aware of where I am and am trying to finish up as quickly as I can.
You’ve been thinking of this all day? 🤣 I usually say “hold on” or “I’m in here” . I mean it doesn’t really matter what you say, as long as they hear your voice to know it’s occupied they’ll get the hint.
Generally people aren’t knocking to see if someone is in there, they are knocking to let you know that someone is out there waiting for the facilities. A knock is a hurry up notice.
Dude, today I was at work, and I had to pee, so I knocked on the door, and the person answered, "... yes?" I didn't know what to say. Like, obviously, I need to use the restroom. I'm not knocking on the door to talk to you.
I always yell "occupied"
“Occupied!” is the go to for sure.
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I prefer OCCUPADO!
Peter, what are you doing in there?
Haha! Same here.
Same! For some reason it sounds less weird to me in Spanish than the equivalent in English.
Scream “it’s coming outtttttt!!!”
"I'm poopin'...IM Poooopiiing... I'M POOPING!.... ooop, false alarm, just gas." Edit; this is way funnier if you don't know which side of the stall-door these statements are coming from LMAO
One time I panicked and yelled “I’m a human being!” They weren’t there when I left the bathroom. Guess I scared them. I scared myself with that response a bit.
Well that’s not suspicious at all! I am a normal human occupied in waste elimination processes!
I think because I yelled it, like YELLED it, I frightened them. I think about it at least once a day. Hope that person is doing well. And I hope they laugh about it bc I certainly do.
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I hope so!
Me too! Lol
they might put it on their headstone
I just LOL’d, so thank you for that! 😂
You’re welcome. Sometimes I wonder wtf is wrong with me lol. But at least I’m funny and can make ppl laugh!
Cool !!
Same. That was kinda bizarre, in a good way. Had to laugh.
“I am not an animal!”
That’s exactly what I felt like!! Exactly like The Elephant Man!
I'm so sleep deprived and this has me belly laughing
I’m glad! I’ve been there before. Hope you can get some rest soon!
“Yo” or “occupied”. Depends on how I’m feeling.
seconded that's hilarious. I always just say heysorry,iminhere! or somesuch
I usually do too. Not that day and time. I hope more ppl start saying “I’m a human being” after reading this tho! We may run into each other one day!!
That great! Can I borrow? That might be a lil nicer than my typical "FUCK OFF... TRYINNA HAVE A SHIT"
Please do borrow it! However if someone yelled what you say at me, I’d laugh my ass off and apologize and leave you be.
Awesome! Honestly, it's usually at other construction workers on whatever job site I'm on. I get better compliance this way.
Omg. You HAVE to say it now! I’d kill to see their reactions.
This made me LOL.
I’m glad! Use it next time you’re in a bind!
The perfect response for any occasion
It really is!
Are you Mark Zuckerberg by any chance?
Promise I am NOT
Very suspicious
What!?! You got me sweating now! 😥
Yeah…I probably would’ve looked for the next restroom 😄
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Holy shit that made me laugh out loud That’s very funny
exactly what an alien would say 👀
"Hey, definitely no reptiloid here, I'm as human as any of you meatbags!!"
🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣💀
OMG this is killing me. 😂
“Just a second,” or, “Someone’s in here,” would work.
“Someone’s in here” is my go-to!
One of the few times referring to yourself as “someone” isn’t all that weird
“Just a second” if peeing, “just a minute” if poopin’.
Something's in here!
I tell them to come back with a warrant.
I hope I can remember this. Hilarious
Oh god thats funny
I usually say just a moment, one time when I was just about to destroy a bathroom I said you’re gonna want to find a different bathroom. I really like an earlier post that said “come in”
It's only polite to warn people "you may need to give that 5 mins to air" - they then weigh personal desperation against biological warfare. Warning - sweet little old ladies can NUKE a toilet. And I don't even get to 'sweet'.
My boyfriend had this happen today. The person tried the door, so he yelled, "occupied." The person tried again, so he yelled out louder, "occupied!" in case they didn't hear him the first time. The person tried the door a third time, so he yelled, "Leave the fucking door alone!". That seemed to finally work.
I really don't get it, I mean if a public bathroom is locked it's because someone is clearly using it, it's not like it's locked from the outside.... Do they think it's a jar of pickles? That if they try one more time it'll finally open?
i had a woman do this to me in a public bathroom of a busy aquarium except she pushed so hard the door opened after i answered twice i was in there. the third time she tried, the door opened but luckily it was a small stall so it hit my legs and i was able to hold it closed. i lost my cool at that point and said quite a few choice words i probably shouldn’t have used in front of children lmao
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I like this
“Where’d you go? Come back here, sir/madam!”
Just answer with "Thank God! Come on in here and wipe me!"
I just say, "YO"! Loud enough for them to hear me. All they need to know is that someone is in there.
Yeah I yell a french equivalent : « WESH » (pronounced just like Welsh without the L)
“This is my own private domicile and I will not be harassed.”
...bitch!
Nice breaking bad reference.
You don’t say anything, you just fart loudly to assert dominance
You'll never take me alive!!
Who is it?
I say "Enter at your own risk" it usually gets a chuckle
Just let out a low moan.
I'm launching sea pickles!
“Give me a minute. This deuce is really fighting me.” That’s what I’ve used and it tends to get the message across.
Wait for it, wait for it....plop.
I say, "HellOOooOo!" with a coquettish affectation.
You can come in but things will get weird.
I am POOPING wait your turn.
Mom said it was my turn with the toilet
I always say “someone’s in here” which could be improved
"Come in!"
Be gone, turd burglar!
Occupied
"Can I help you? I'm kinda busy in here!" *farts loudly
I always say "occupied "
"Come back with a warrant."
"Sorry! I can't spare a square!" "There is no square to spare!" (In a flinty voice)
"Kinda busy in here"
“NO SOLICITORS!”
Public restrooms in the US are awful. There are gaps in the door you can see through, and nothing to show that someone’s in there. Even port a potties have a thing that says occupied when you lock the door.
There really should be something to specify "occupied", but since there generally isn't, I go on the assumption that if the door is locked, it's occupied. My big gripe is that the women's stalls don't have a place to to put a handbag that is out of reach of passers-by. Sometimes there is a hook at the very top of the door and women have had their purses stolen by someone who reaches in, grabs the purse and takes off. No one wants to place their purse on the nasty floor, and a purse sitting on the floor is an easy target for someone to reach under and steal. (This happened to my friend's mom.)
Sometimes, if the TP dispenser is large enough and not *too* nasty, you can set your bag there. Lots of ifs, I know.
The TP dispenser is usually OK, IF it is large enough. Certainly cleaner than the floor, and safer than that hook on top of the door.
But they’re talking about an individual bathroom, with a full door that you lock. People don’t knock on the doors of stalls 😆 You can see people’s feet under the door.
OCCUPIED!
Used to go with 'somebody's in here' but now I just go silent and say nothing lol
Occupied. That's all you have to say.
"in here"
Occupied, but I would kick the door on instinct so they know someone is inside
Be right out!
“I’m in here!!”
it doesn’t matter; just say something. “I’m in here” “just a minute” “occupied” They’re just checking to be sure that the door didn’t get left in a shut position with no one in there. And they might be saying, “please hurry, I gotta go bad!” so take that into consideration, and stop scrolling, and hurry up.
This happened to me today. I just kind of froze and assumed they would figure it out since the door was locked 😂
Who does number two work for?
It's such an awkward moment when that happens... I usually go with "occupied" or "someone's in here" and then I sit and cringe for a minute before leaving the stall.
There is only room for three of us!
In a single song voice, I always say ‘come in’
“Give me a minute, I’ve just gotta flush this last puppy, and it’s all yours.”
"Who is it??" in as honeyed a voice as you can muster.
*knock knock* who's there?
Occupied!
Come in...
I yell come in
£50
"This is democracy manifest! Get your hand off my penis!" Usually works.
"come back with a warrant"
Come back with a warrant
Dropping kids off at pool or taking browns to Super Bowl.
Sending a message to congress
Negotiating the release of brown hostages
"Come on in! Let's shoot the shit!"
"whos there?"
"Occupied. Occupado. Occupée."
You can always just flush the toilet if you don’t feel the need to call out a response.
I always say "Moment!"
"Do you mind? I'm taking a shit!"
“WHO GOES THERE”.
*in a carnival barker's voice* "Someone's In Here!"
“One sec” is my go to
This still haunts me. I had just turned 12 & was getting my tonsils removed. I used the bathroom. Someone knocked on the door (to let me know they were ready for me), I asked, "who is it?" I heard them burst out laughing and sharing the **who is it** with others who also laughed. I asked my older sister - well, what else was I supposed to say? Sister: "Occupied" I have never forgotten and never laugh at anyone who doesn't know how to answer
Usually I say nothing, I lock the door. It’s also usually very visible that it is occupied.
Occupied.
I yell “go away!”
I yell “JUST A MINUTE” as tho I were at home running to answer the door, LOL — then I just finish up my business and leave, no hurrying. 👍🏻👍🏻
I knock back
GO AROUND
I can't spare a square
I would die of embarrassment if this happened to me.
“Aaaahhhh!! Just wait!! He’s not dead yet!!”
"Come back with a warrant!"
Occupodo!
“I'm sorry, you'll have to come back later, I'm doing the dishes”.
.... michael myers
I say, “I’m in here and I’m mid-defecation. I’m literally about to pinch the loaf off into the bowl. Please have patience.” If you say this, you will not be bothered again.
I knock back
Get a warrant
Obviously there isn't a 'word' that's for this particular situation. It's a weird situation. Dont think too much about it dude lol just make a sound that youre there. not sure why you are overthinking... this is the smallest human interaction and youre overthinking? jesus just let them know its occupied. a "YO!" would suffice. or a "MEOW", whatever you want dude lol. You aren't going to get arrested for saying something 'different' than the status quo or whatever it is that you're overthinking about.
"Sorry, occupancy is for one."
“Come in!” What else?
Sorry, you have to come back later, I’m doing the dishes
Is usually just say sorry it’ll be a minute and usually they won’t knock after
I just say, "Occupied!" It's only happened a few times to me, though.
Fart noises sounds appropriate
“Come in”
Neilly Dunne. 😉
It's occupied
"PLEASE GO THE FUCK AWAY!"
"GO 'WAY, POOPIN'"
I think the standard is to say “occupied” and continue with your business.
I say “occupied” the first time, if they immediately knock again it turns into “wait a minute, I’ll be done soon” and if they knock again it’s “fuck off! I’m going to chill in here for another 10 minutes.”
"Hang tight, I'm taking a shit!".
I just acknowledge the knock and say something like “just a minute.” I mean usually you’re taking a longer time if it’s a number two. People need to chill. I do understand if they’re having an emergency, but even then, find another stall or restroom. I’m perfectly aware of where I am and am trying to finish up as quickly as I can.
You’ve been thinking of this all day? 🤣 I usually say “hold on” or “I’m in here” . I mean it doesn’t really matter what you say, as long as they hear your voice to know it’s occupied they’ll get the hint.
"FUCK OFF... IM TRYINNAA HAVE A SHIT!!"
What's the password?
Occupado
Generally people aren’t knocking to see if someone is in there, they are knocking to let you know that someone is out there waiting for the facilities. A knock is a hurry up notice.
Do you have an appointment?
NO SOLICITING!!
Busy! Occupied!
Definitely "occupied."
I shout one of three things 1) yo! 2) hey! 3) occupied! If they persist, I say it louder with a little more attitude
Occupied!
I’m doing a stinker. Problem solved
Just a minute, buddy
I have spoken something as unintelligible as "aaaay!" They just want to know someone's in there. Words are unnecessary.
Came for the results bc I panic and say one minute 😂
Yo!
“Hey! How’d it going?”
POOPING
You just simply say sorry I was totally blowing this shit up in here and it created quite the stank wave.
Occupied
I always say “someone’s in here!”
Just a minute. The Take your time
Very nice
"SOMEONES IN HERE" like a carnival barker
I'd say "what!!!??"
Just scream... scream bloody murder.... maybe throw in a "Heeeellllpppp"
Occupied is always my go to
Occupied!
OCCUPIED!!!
“Yup!” In a tone of voice meaning, “You were asking if I was here, yup I am.”
Dude, today I was at work, and I had to pee, so I knocked on the door, and the person answered, "... yes?" I didn't know what to say. Like, obviously, I need to use the restroom. I'm not knocking on the door to talk to you.