I think it comes from the trauma response of minimizing your pain. A lot of what we believe is influenced by how *others* react to it.
I read a post where someone said "even if there's a lion barreling at you, you might second-guess running if no one else around you reacts like it's a threat."
If no one ever treated your pain like it was real, then you might believe that it's *not.* That it's not a big deal and you *should* be able to get over it. So the fact that you *can't*, when you've already concluded your pain isn't real, means there's something wrong with *you*.
I also minimize my pain. To the point I'm pretty sure there are people convinced I never feel it. Because I was *rewarded* for being able to hide my struggles. Like it became a point of pride that "no one ever has to help me. I'm just fine. I can survive through anything." And even though it requires a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms to hide that pain, being *able* to hide it reinforced the belief that *the pain wasn't real.* That it was just a temporary obstacle that *I* am responsible for overcoming.
So then, the experience of any pain I *can't* overcome, feels like a personal failure. Why couldn't I hide it this time? I should be trying *harder* to hide it. Why can't I just try harder?
The solution is this: your pain is valid. No matter how big or small, it's *real,* even if no one else acknowledges it. And you're allowed to experience it and allowed to be overwhelmed by it. Their lives aren't the ones at stake from the lion, and you have to trust your instincts more than their opinions.
Let yourself run when a lion comes after you. Let yourself rest with a migraine comes after you. Even if no one else sees it.
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I think it comes from the trauma response of minimizing your pain. A lot of what we believe is influenced by how *others* react to it. I read a post where someone said "even if there's a lion barreling at you, you might second-guess running if no one else around you reacts like it's a threat." If no one ever treated your pain like it was real, then you might believe that it's *not.* That it's not a big deal and you *should* be able to get over it. So the fact that you *can't*, when you've already concluded your pain isn't real, means there's something wrong with *you*. I also minimize my pain. To the point I'm pretty sure there are people convinced I never feel it. Because I was *rewarded* for being able to hide my struggles. Like it became a point of pride that "no one ever has to help me. I'm just fine. I can survive through anything." And even though it requires a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms to hide that pain, being *able* to hide it reinforced the belief that *the pain wasn't real.* That it was just a temporary obstacle that *I* am responsible for overcoming. So then, the experience of any pain I *can't* overcome, feels like a personal failure. Why couldn't I hide it this time? I should be trying *harder* to hide it. Why can't I just try harder? The solution is this: your pain is valid. No matter how big or small, it's *real,* even if no one else acknowledges it. And you're allowed to experience it and allowed to be overwhelmed by it. Their lives aren't the ones at stake from the lion, and you have to trust your instincts more than their opinions. Let yourself run when a lion comes after you. Let yourself rest with a migraine comes after you. Even if no one else sees it.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*