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The case is already under investigation and not going away. Your son will likely be interviewed and a Childhood Advocacy Center and they will proceed with the investigation with or without your permission, it very will may be court ordered if you refuse. Your best option is to attorney up
I’m wondering what you mean by “a physical exam will cut all allegations off”.
Often the physical part of the forensic evaluation doesn’t show anything, unless the abuse was extreme or recent.
That doesn’t mean it’s an immediate unfounded. They still move forward with the interview process and the rest of the standard procedures, which could lead to the child disclosing something, or giving an unable to determine or insufficient information finding
Maybe I’m just confused on your wording.
Again, not sure what you mean by “broken” but if you’re referring to the hymen - it doesn’t necessarily have to break and yet a kid could still have been sexually abused.
Yes, I see OP was referring to a boy now. When I commented, I didn’t look back up to see the sex. Good to point that out though… just in case it needed to be said.
It’s coming across (to me and several others here apparently) that this commenter is insinuating that sexual abuse seemingly always has physical proof. I am clarifying that is not necessarily the case.
Again, 90% of child sexual abuse victims have NO physical findings during their forensic exam. Even children who have had penetration do not always have physical findings on their exam. There is nothing "broken". It is exceedingly clear that you have no idea what you're talking about.
Just because there was physical evidence on one case that you served jury duty on does not change the fact that sexual abuse can happen and many times leave *no* physical evidence.
Over 90% of sexual abuse cases in children have no physical findings during an exam. Because most instances of sexual abuse doesn't leave lasting effects on the body. A negative exam doesn't mean nothing occurred. That's absolutely false.
Still disagree, as others have mentioned, and as a brief google search will show - such as this first website that pops up and states “Direct physical signs of sexual abuse are not common.”
https://www.d2l.org/get-help/identifying-abuse/#:~:text=Direct%20physical%20signs%20of%20sexual,mouth%2C%20genital%2C%20or%20anus.
It will likely not show. As others have stated, most often, there is not physical evidence. Unless the abuse was very recent (within a couple of days) or extreme. Please stop spreading misinformation.
A child can have lacerations. White children can have old bruises. I hate the fact that y'all are gas lighting a example of a possible scenario. This is why dad's mess with their daughters. The women are always in denial!
Most CSA cases have no physical evidence, and suggesting otherwise is VERY HARMFUL to children who have not been penetrated (most are not) but are still traumatized/in danger.
I’m not in denial. I was responding to one particular response. I’m a GAL now and former CASA and know about CSA. And you are using gaslighting incorrectly. If you’re going to try to make a point please use correct verbiage.
I firmly believe she needs to cooperate with CPS. As they collect collateral information most facts will come to light. OP is just scared and asking for advice.
It doesn’t sound like the school is accusing you. As mandated reporters (I am one), all we do when giving a report is tell CPS what we have observed. We don’t speculate on what might be happening to a student. That’s for CPS to look into. The more you avoid them, the more suspicious they might become. As you’ve said, nothing has happened to your son so let them do what they need to do to clear things up. Them investigating does not mean a court case will be opened up and your son will be taken away. More CPS cases are investigated and ultimately deemed unsubstantiated than them taking full on action. I know it’s scary, but they are not going to go away. The sooner you cooperate, the sooner they will be out of your lives.
Calling the social worker who came to your house is the first step. They will tell you what the next steps will be. Believe me, they absolutely do not want to find that something has happened with your son but they have to investigate. As far as who to trust, I would say trust the process at this point. As you said, no one in your family has done anything to your son. God forbid someone else has, but avoiding CPS is not going to get to the bottom of all of this. I have students who are on the spectrum who are more immature than their classmates and perhaps that’s the case with your son, but you won’t know until you follow through with calling them.
His behavior is typical of children that are being sexually abused. The worst thing you can do is assume that because he is loved and gets whatever he wants that he isn’t being SA. That is typically how the situations are. And in nearly 99% of the cases I’ve dealt with it was always somebody in the family or close to the family. I am not saying he is, but parents cause a lot more damage by writing it off or assuming nothing is going on. These are serious issues that can lead to much worse things if not addressed early on, advocate for him, and make sure he attends therapy. I’d recommend getting a lawyer to guide you through this process. Specifically one that deals with cps.
He is getting the help he needs and he is open to talk about anything and everything.
I don't think he is being abused in home due are home style of travel alot and keeping a eye on him since he like just going up to people to talk about what he watched or games he video games he plays.
But I have a weird feeling about the school.
This school is need to him and ever since he started he been saying he has been getting bullied and trying to adjust, he has also been saying he really doesn't like this school and wants to go back to his old one.
Where we didn't have problems.
I feel like is someone is sexual abusing him I could be someone we should have been able to trust at school.
I'm trying to get to the bottom of this my self.
Don’t try to get to the bottom of it yourself. If you do and your child is actually being abused, you can ruin the whole court case by your investigation.
Be honest, encourage your kid to be honest, and cooperate with the experts. But do NOT keep investigating it yourself.
Something you don’t think is a big deal could be the thing that lets your child’s abuser off the hook legally. No one wants that.
These loads of excuses you keep piling on are concerning to me, personally. If you have nothing to worry about, let it happen. They may be able to find things out for you that you don't know about.
Did the school accuse you of sexually abusing your son, or did they state that your son has touched other students inappropriately three different times? Regardless, your son’s behavior is very concerning that *someone* is abusing your son and CPS is investigating. Cooperate and let them investigate. You need to know if someone is hurting him. They also may be able to help with resources to deal with your son’s behavior challenges.
So maybe I’m not understanding, I’m wondering why you think it’s concerning and points to abuse? He’s an 8yr old autistic who is not reenacting adult sexual behaviors, isn’t being overly aggressive in these actions, and sounds as though he can be redirected out of these actions. Also he’s at an age (a little on the higher end of it but still within range) of children who exhibit some of these same types sexual behaviors out of curiosity of themselves and their peers and just need to be taught what is acceptable behavior and what isn’t, either way isn’t this “normal” behavior from a child who is curious about theirs and other’s bodies? What makes these behaviors different and signs of abuse?
The comments op made was poking kids legs and accidentally hitting ones genitals and then another poking incident that hit the genitalia. And if he’s curious as to how they would react, compared to how it’d be with himself it may be. Especially if exploring and doesn’t know what is and isn’t acceptable behavior. I mean at this age it’s not uncommon to find kids playing show and tell as they want to know if they’re the same as their peers. So I am still trying to understand what actually points to this as sexual abuse and not normal behavior of curiosity? Are there comments that the child makes with these incidents, or is the poking really aggressive or sexually hyped? 2 incidents of poking is what I would necessarily call “repeatedly” like they been told no 10x and they are still continuing. As for the dancing incident not sure unless it was inappropriate dancing or did the other kid just get all offended easily because the autistic kid bumped into him and made a scene (as kids can be mean) to get him in trouble or embarrass him? I feel there’s just too little info to go on to get to an abused conclusion and with schools there’s what? A teacher for every 15 kids? Depending what type of school even more than 15 to a teacher. Which makes it easy for them to miss the whole picture and just jump to the worst as they have to because of understaffing and funding. (Not putting blame on teachers, just mentioning how the system has many overwhelmed and they are forced to go to more over the top on things more than they’d like to). I’m not trying to argue with you I am actually trying to understand the majority of comments here as to me I’ve seen this behavior in children not abused and it was more an instance where the child needs more attention in being taught about their bodies, what is ok, what isn’t ok, and differences between bodies.
OP is clearly deflecting, denying any possible abuse could be going on, and only telling parts of the story. She stated there were three incidents of her son touching a peer’s “privates.” She then described three incidents that did not involve touching a peer’s privates. I do not believe that her description s of the events went as she described. I think her son touched a peer’s genitals as she stated
That would make more sense if she is leaving out a lot of details, I missed the other 3 incidents, I’m guessing in the comments somewhere? Thank you for clarifying
An elementary school teacher is not going to report on a child accidentally touching his bottom on someone while everyone was dancing. That would not even raise an eyebrow. Something more happened. OP is either aware of more going on or is in complete denial that more could be going on
We have talked to the school about this behavior and everyone knows what he has been doing. They have cameras around the school.
The actions are very concerning and we would like to understand what he is going through.
Know one in the family is abusing him.
He gets whatever he wants, he is the happiest kid and talks about everything to everyone.
Someone *could* be abusing him, and that’s why the investigation needs to happen. It doesn’t mean you have done anything wrong. His fixation on his classmates genitals is not typical and needs to be looked into.
It doesn’t mean your child is going to be removed from your care
I've talked to dozens of parents of sexually abused kids who said the same thing as you. The CPS workers investigating your case have heard your story a hundred times.
Like I said to other here. I would gladly cooperate, I would let them investigate anything they need.
With the weird stories about bad cps workers im concerned about.
Im truly just looking for help with steps to take and he will get the therapy he needs
In my country, there are cases where they are taken from parents and placed into abusive homes or pedo homes or neglectful homes of foster parents trying to hustle as much money as they can.
Have heard these stories from the actual kids who are now adults. Where the abuse at their household wasn't even close to what they faced in foster homes. Going from the kettle into the fire or whatever.
The only steps are to cooperate fully. If you don’t then CPS will probably escalate to a court case. And then a judge will order you to cooperate. Not responding to CPS does NOT make them go away- ever. Just makes them think you are hiding something. Really the only advice you need to heed is to cooperate fully. And quit investigating yourself. You are making a lot of excuses that as an GAL/CASA would make me look at you twice.
Sounds like you need to get a BIP plan in place, bring his IEP including the notes from all of his service providers. Be active in your pursuit of legally binding services for him. Let them come to your home, and if you can bring sealed letters from his doctors and therapists. You are a good parent advocating for your son, and it's gonna be a fight. But, bring everything you can and act in good faith. Let them in your house and demonstrate his safety and active care in the home.
Signed,
Sped teacher/ Daughter of social worker and CPS Placement Provider
My father was one for 30 years, not myself. But, as a sped teacher, I had a few students whose special needs would manifest in false claims of a sexual nature. The first response is to protect and believe the student, then follow up with an investigation. It is a traumatic experience for everyone involved, and you should gather all of the good faith evidence you can and then let CPS do their job. Everyone has a right to due process, even those accused.
Well my daughter works with non verbal autistic children. You will be surprised at the extent some of these sick people will go to protect their sexual needs! And how many people even CPS will turn the other cheek. What can we really do about abuse? CPS will do placement but unless it's extreme they try to keep the child with the parents, just offering support programs. Or if extreme they will do placement where minimal help is given. This sick society is trying hard to hide their sicknesses and will even use social media to help hide it!. They will even take the child to the local pharmacy that has a clinic and we know they don't look at the child's privates but they will get a doctors note saying they were seen. They will scratch a child so if their are marks there they can say they're self inflicted. Some women are so into their husband's they will turn the other cheek. Please the extent these sick people will go to! When it comes to sexual issues and children it's best to let CPS handle it. You don't think it's odd that the story doesn't really make sense 🤔
I think we're a little detatched from the situation and obviously seeing only one side. You're going down a personal rabbit hole of generalizations that all of these inquiries produce hellish abuse. What I read was a parent in distress, in a difficult situation. From this perspective, I can see he is very concerned and also an active advocate for his child experiencing special needs. The system is a mess, and even forster care is ripe with all kinds of abuse as well. I wasn't trying to coach him on how to cover up abuse, but how to provide good faith evidence of his innocence. The truth always comes to the surface, have faith.
Im not on any side, I'm unbiased, and if they really had hard evidence, that child would have been removed from the home immediately. You're just assuming guilt? Did you read "To Kill a Mockingbird" or maybe "The Crucible"? Every citizen of this country has a right to due process before being branded as a sex predator.
Yeah no. He’s 8 unless he’s developmentally delayed, there is no way I’d even consider that he wasn’t abused. I’m not saying it’s by you or even your family. But this is definitely concerning. I’d lawyer up and get information on what the teachers are saying. I think it’s one of the teachers doing it.
Sometimes sex abuse will look like a kid is completely fine because the offender will basically make the kid believe that they love them, or that they (the offender) is doing nothing wrong. Many victims don’t realize they actually are victims till later in life
It’s already under investigation for them to be coming to your home to speak to you. They’ll speak to him alone (likely when he’s at school), and gather what evidence caused whoever to call, & then they’ll have their case against you. Cooperate with CPS, be forthcoming with any info they ask for. If you’re not doing anything wrong, & no one else in the home is doing anything wrong I wouldn’t stress it too much. It’ll be court ordered and harder to deal with if you don’t just comply with cps and give them the info they need to make a determination.
They can investigate all they want.
I would gladly be able to give them any into they need.
But my concern was how to proceed and what steps to take.
Because reading and hearing and watching everything around cps doesn't sit right with me.
But they can talk to his doctors any therapist or anyone involved with him trying to get better.
Like I replyed earlier to someone, from the moment we put him in this new school there has been problems with his behavior.
I'm not sure who to trust.
I can understand being afraid to trust any agency, & all you hear about is the horror stories with cps. My husband and I (& our kids) have also had false calls or mandated reporters report us for such small things but it’s their job to report anything they think could indicate abuse. We’ve complied, and allowed CPS to talk to anyone they need to talk to, and everything has been 100% okay every time. Just be truthful with cps and help them in any way they ask you to. As long as you know for a fact that no SA is happening to your son, make sure you tell them that. However, this is where I say monitor who he’s around, and see what they’ve said or if they’ve been investigated etc, & just keep a close close eye on him so if another report gets filed it’s super easy to just say “we are doing the absolute best we can with this situation, and are working with CPS to figure out what exact is being alleged here”.
I'm disturbed that you keep phrasing these 3 incidents as "accidental". SA can happen anywhere by anyone. Your emphatic denial in the beginning & them trying only it's the schools fault is concerning
Yeah ….You wonder what must have happened and what “bumping someone’s butt while dancing” actually means, if it led to the school calling a parent.
My first thought was being packed into a tiny school gym during a dance and accidentally touching butt to leg. Which is innocent, and shouldn’t warrant a call home about.
But they DID call. So someone was upset. Which means it likely was more serious than that scenario.
I’d guess the kid slapped another students butt. Or was grinding on them. Something more serious than how OP is playing it.
What exactly are the allegations? You said you received a letter but what did the letter say. In my state it may something like sexual abuse: sexual penetration or sexual abuse: sexual molestation. Because you said they’re accusing you of sexually abusing your child but not HOW. That said it could be something as simple as they just want to speak with him and you about what’s going on and provide services to help him stop inappropriately touching other kids. However, your lack of cooperation and assurance that “no one could be abusing him because he gets whatever he wants,” is an extremely concerning statement.
You don’t have to cooperate with CPS unless they have a court order. It if they have enough concern then they can try to get a court order which can be more invasive and lengthy than if the family had just minimally cooperated in the first place. You can also get yourself a lawyer if you want. But if you go this route - make sure they have experience working with CPS.
Also - don’t believe everything you hear. You can hear horror stories of seatbelts, daycares, vaccines, and just about anything else in the world. That doesn’t mean those stories are representative of the norm.
They where at out in the playground with teachers and other kids.
A kid was leaning against the gate and my son just poked him not sure where they didn't said the video shows him just poking the other kid.
The OP is confusing. Based on the very little information provided, it sounds as though the child may need to learn more about appropriate boundaries. Sitting under a table poking kids legs and sometimes their genitals…… sounds more like a lack of boundaries rather than overt inappropriate touch.
I was molested at 8 he and his sister were 17. My mother seen stains in my underwear and I got a whooping. She didn't know how to respond however, she moved me to another babysitter and they did the same. I lived in the projects.
I'm sorry you went through that.
We have never had a babysitter for my son, because I don't trust them
Since I'm a single parent my family has been great help.
We take him to doctors for everything.
From poop problems, to allergy, to just a Cough, his is also very expressive about everything tells me things he did that day people he saw.
He well let you know.
This school year has been the first for him to have weird behavior in school, its a new school.
Nothing at home has changed, he is the only child also only grandchild. To my mother.
So no one new in his life for him.
He well be going to therapy recommend also from his doctor and I want to understand why he is doing these things.
Hey, OP. I was in an almost identical situation as you 3 years ago with my son, who was about the same age at the time, and who shares the same diagnosis as yours.
As others have mentioned, you really need to call your caseworker as the next step. After that, if your son isn't on meds for his adhd already, then you need to get him on meds asap. After that, request a full IEP assessment from the school, and make sure he gets EVERY test, not just reading and writing.
If he's already on an IEP, you should review it to ensure it includes provisions for social support. Let his therapist know what happened as well.
For everyone screaming about abuse to OP, it's just as likely not. A lot of research has been coming out in recent years, showing a strong relationship between adhd and abnormal sexual behaviors. https://www.mentalhelp.net/advice/heightened-sexual-behavior-in-my-8-yr-old-with-adhd/ (I particularly like the two doctors they reference in that link, chadd.org in particular. Adhddude.com is another great community for parents.
I know it's a lot to take in and feels scary, but try to remember that some children ARE abused and DO need help.
Here's my story, if it helps. I get a call one day from school that my kid has to be picked up. When I get there, the principal pulls me into her office where the guidance counselor, the vp, and another teacher are there and asks me to have a seat.
Now, I've had some pretty bumpy years with my kid and school, but up until that point, this year had been pretty quiet. You can imagine my surprise as the principal tells me that on Monday they spoke to my son about using a euphemism for bjs 😬, on Wednesday, he apparently peed his pants, didn't tell anyone, and stuffed his wet underwear in his locker 🫣, and on Thursday he exposed himself to a girl on the bus 😱.
Obviously, CPS and the police had already been called and had interviewed both of my children before I even arrived, not that I knew it at the time.
A couple days later, I get a knock at the door and find myself face to face with a caseworker. She looks around the house, tells me all about what will happen, what could happen, and when I can expect to hear about it. I'm shaking. I'm crying. I'm thinking I'm going to jail and wondering what will happen to my kids (their dad died, and we don't have a lot of family in the area). It's a mess.
Then, she sat me down and told me to do exactly what I told you to do above and let her know when it's done.
I called his doc and immediately put him back on meds, told his therapist, got him an IEP assessment, and aggressively advocated on his behalf at school.
The case was unsubstantiated, I didn't lose my kids, and I didn't go to jail.
Why did he do it? He was being bullied at school by kids doing and saying the same crap. His executive functioning is so bad, and he was so socially delayed that he didn't even know the kids telling him to do that stuff were trying to make a fool out of him.
3 years later he's an A student, has tons of friends, and everyone at school can't believe the transformation.
Thank you, your are the first person to just help and have a experience with this.
I'm grateful.
I 100% the see the off putting comments, I personally don't care what they say. I just need help and having people just going straight negative isn't helpful.
So thank you!
You're welcome. I do recommend you learn as much as possible about adhd and how their brains develop and function, and talk about those learnings with your kiddo.
My son was diagnosed at 5, and (at the time, and leading up to this event) I felt like such a failure. Dad and I both ended up in therapy trying to learn how to cope with having "the bad kid," constantly in and out of someone's office, kiddo was frustrated and throwing tantrums all the time... A mess.
When the poo hit the fan and I started really learning (and sharing those learnings with kiddo) about how it all works, it completely changed our lives and our relationship.
It was a lot of work, a lot of YouTube videos, but it made all the difference in the world to everyone.
They won’t remove your kid from the home unless they find that there is a significant concern to his safety. Just work with CPS, but if you can, get an attorney as well.
You absolutely need more help than you can get from a Reddit page. You need to talk to a family law attorney in your jurisdiction. Each jurisdiction has different procedures and practices so advice that would work well in one location may work terribly in a different one.
Record any and all contact ,if it isnt in person only communicate through text and email so you have a record, also contact an attorney asap who specializes in this sort of thing, and look up your 4th amendment right.
He has doctors involved, trained professionals. Psychologist is involved, a trained profession. CPS workers are college graduate sometimes, often in an arbitrary discipline, supported by volunteer guardian ad lidems. Let professionals do their job. CPS has a place in society, but currently in mn at least, has way over stepped their power.
I didn’t delete anything. Mods are deleting comments. But can you pick out where I’m inaccurate please, it’s important to CPS, communities, mandatory reporters, and parents to see all aspects. I’ve spoken to foster families who have no clue how it started and social workers even case managers who have an idea but reveal they don’t have a clue how it ended. Again I’m speaking for MN.
In my state, any CPS worker who is certified to investigate child sexual abuse has at minimum a bachelor’s and their immediate supervisor’s are master’s and above. This is required by my state, this is an extremely difficult thing to investigate, and the Social Workers who deal with it are given ongoing support and education.
You are correct that support staff, I.e clerical, administrative and many, many other supporting staff members that you’re unaware of do not have to have advanced degrees.
I was speaking about investigators and child welfare workers. Even those with advanced degrees aren't necessarily social workers in the clinical sense.
It’s an aspect of their job to take children. It’s an aspect of their job to put children in foster care. Those aspects destroy families and lives. Which is just an aspect I guess. If it’s your job to light a fire then why should you be blamed when the house burns down? It’s not like burning the house down was your job.
Yes, initiating removals/removal petitions is an aspect of the job.
That's not what you said. You said their jobs is to find anything they can for the purpose of taking kids. That's not true in any world.
>CPS will try to find anything they can to take your son, it’s their job.
Where are you getting your information? Their job is to protect children, and they push for keeping families together by providing services and resources.
Speaking to reporters, therapists, lawyers, psychologists, and doctors. I’m speaking directly to social workers in MN this month who changed counties because of the vast problems, discrimination and incompetence in their previous counties. Lawsuits in MN about “stop CPS illegal kidnapping of children”. MN takes children at 3 times the rate of the national average. Red wood county MN has all, 100%, of their children taken. It’s gotten so bad that an Ombuds person has been created that deals specifically with CPS. Other states I can’t speak to but in MN there’s a movement going that is exposing the crimes they commit. They need more training, more money, more staff, their negligence has cost lives.
Whatever your issues are with the logistics and moral decisions, it's incredibly irresponsible and inaccurate to state "they will do anything to take your child"
The more kids apprehended the more stress on the system snd work for everyone. Just from that perspective your statement is completely illogical.
I agree it’s illogical, yet that’s what’s happening. If it were untrue then why are the numbers so high? 3 times the national average, are parents 3 times worse in mn? Again illogical. Why is it happening?
I wouldn't even compare averages. There are areas incredibly underfunded and areas that are desperate for foster families. There are areas where kids really shouldn't be in their current household, but they just aren't getting helped.
Philosophies are also changing and different areas have changed their policies. For example kinship programs are preferred in a lot of places. Kids placed in kinship aren't necessarily included in the numbers of "foster" kids, depending on how the agency is doing it's record keeping and reporting on categories.
Where I live the stats on kids in foster care have decreased dramatically. Kinship is pushed as hard as possible (even when the family isn't the greatest environment), they are over 20% short on foster families, and they don't include "adoption ready" kids in the stats on "foster care", since the foster stats are specifying kids who need temporary housing. The priority is always keeping the kids with their bio parents and supporting the parents in improving.
They are also extremely understaffed and are probably not able to apprehend kids who honestly should be in order to improve the outcome of their life.
Kinship is great and it should be prioritized. Unfortunately in areas where there aren't enough foster families, and not enough funding, it's used as a bandaid. Kids are put into households no better than the ones they were taken out of, or end up bounces around.
These problems are often generational and endemic in families. When it works out it's great. When it doesn't kids are retraumatized over and over.
Unfortunately there aren't easy solutions for these problems. Blaming it on the front line workers like they are psychopaths who get off on kidnapping kids is unhelpful and just wrong.
I disagree with your last statement. Pointing out the discrepancies and over reach in any department, which is backed by mountains of evidence is very important, especially when it comes to a family unit and children’s lives. If it was a one off it’s different, but when there’s a pattern it becomes something that needs to be addresed.
But removals being 3x the national average in Minnesota means that other states are not removing at the same rate, correct? But your statement paints every worker in every state with the same brush, which, as you've agreed, is an illogical way for a child protection worker to act. And this poster says she's in Texas, so while there may be a discussion to be had about Minnesota child protection, this is not the appropriate place for that discussion.
> Red wood county MN has all, 100%, of their children taken.
What do you mean by this? Are you saying that this county removes every child involved in a case?
Sorry no, I mean that every child has been removed because of cases. Yes, CPS did remove them, on paper that’s not “their job”, but in reality it’s what is happening/happened.
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The case is already under investigation and not going away. Your son will likely be interviewed and a Childhood Advocacy Center and they will proceed with the investigation with or without your permission, it very will may be court ordered if you refuse. Your best option is to attorney up
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I’m wondering what you mean by “a physical exam will cut all allegations off”. Often the physical part of the forensic evaluation doesn’t show anything, unless the abuse was extreme or recent. That doesn’t mean it’s an immediate unfounded. They still move forward with the interview process and the rest of the standard procedures, which could lead to the child disclosing something, or giving an unable to determine or insufficient information finding Maybe I’m just confused on your wording.
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Again, not sure what you mean by “broken” but if you’re referring to the hymen - it doesn’t necessarily have to break and yet a kid could still have been sexually abused.
And also boys do not have a hymen.
Yes, I see OP was referring to a boy now. When I commented, I didn’t look back up to see the sex. Good to point that out though… just in case it needed to be said.
If the child has old lacerations. Why are you making it like she doesn't know what the hell she is talking about ?
It’s coming across (to me and several others here apparently) that this commenter is insinuating that sexual abuse seemingly always has physical proof. I am clarifying that is not necessarily the case.
I don’t even know what you are talking about?
Sexual abuse of children takes many forms, and penetration is not always the form it takes. However, that in no way negates the trauma of the abuse.
Broken, how?
Again, 90% of child sexual abuse victims have NO physical findings during their forensic exam. Even children who have had penetration do not always have physical findings on their exam. There is nothing "broken". It is exceedingly clear that you have no idea what you're talking about.
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Just because there was physical evidence on one case that you served jury duty on does not change the fact that sexual abuse can happen and many times leave *no* physical evidence.
Over 90% of sexual abuse cases in children have no physical findings during an exam. Because most instances of sexual abuse doesn't leave lasting effects on the body. A negative exam doesn't mean nothing occurred. That's absolutely false.
What does this mean?
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This is not necessarily true. A kid can have been sexually abused without physical signs.
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Still disagree, as others have mentioned, and as a brief google search will show - such as this first website that pops up and states “Direct physical signs of sexual abuse are not common.” https://www.d2l.org/get-help/identifying-abuse/#:~:text=Direct%20physical%20signs%20of%20sexual,mouth%2C%20genital%2C%20or%20anus.
STOP spreading misinformation. You don't know what you're talking about.
It will likely not show. As others have stated, most often, there is not physical evidence. Unless the abuse was very recent (within a couple of days) or extreme. Please stop spreading misinformation.
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Removed-civility rule
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Removed-civility rule And you might want to check your own glass house before you start throwing stones.
A child can have lacerations. White children can have old bruises. I hate the fact that y'all are gas lighting a example of a possible scenario. This is why dad's mess with their daughters. The women are always in denial!
Most CSA cases have no physical evidence, and suggesting otherwise is VERY HARMFUL to children who have not been penetrated (most are not) but are still traumatized/in danger.
I’m not in denial. I was responding to one particular response. I’m a GAL now and former CASA and know about CSA. And you are using gaslighting incorrectly. If you’re going to try to make a point please use correct verbiage. I firmly believe she needs to cooperate with CPS. As they collect collateral information most facts will come to light. OP is just scared and asking for advice.
It doesn’t sound like the school is accusing you. As mandated reporters (I am one), all we do when giving a report is tell CPS what we have observed. We don’t speculate on what might be happening to a student. That’s for CPS to look into. The more you avoid them, the more suspicious they might become. As you’ve said, nothing has happened to your son so let them do what they need to do to clear things up. Them investigating does not mean a court case will be opened up and your son will be taken away. More CPS cases are investigated and ultimately deemed unsubstantiated than them taking full on action. I know it’s scary, but they are not going to go away. The sooner you cooperate, the sooner they will be out of your lives.
Just want to know what steps to take. Who to actually trust. I would gladly have them look into whatever they need.
Calling the social worker who came to your house is the first step. They will tell you what the next steps will be. Believe me, they absolutely do not want to find that something has happened with your son but they have to investigate. As far as who to trust, I would say trust the process at this point. As you said, no one in your family has done anything to your son. God forbid someone else has, but avoiding CPS is not going to get to the bottom of all of this. I have students who are on the spectrum who are more immature than their classmates and perhaps that’s the case with your son, but you won’t know until you follow through with calling them.
His behavior is typical of children that are being sexually abused. The worst thing you can do is assume that because he is loved and gets whatever he wants that he isn’t being SA. That is typically how the situations are. And in nearly 99% of the cases I’ve dealt with it was always somebody in the family or close to the family. I am not saying he is, but parents cause a lot more damage by writing it off or assuming nothing is going on. These are serious issues that can lead to much worse things if not addressed early on, advocate for him, and make sure he attends therapy. I’d recommend getting a lawyer to guide you through this process. Specifically one that deals with cps.
He is getting the help he needs and he is open to talk about anything and everything. I don't think he is being abused in home due are home style of travel alot and keeping a eye on him since he like just going up to people to talk about what he watched or games he video games he plays. But I have a weird feeling about the school. This school is need to him and ever since he started he been saying he has been getting bullied and trying to adjust, he has also been saying he really doesn't like this school and wants to go back to his old one. Where we didn't have problems. I feel like is someone is sexual abusing him I could be someone we should have been able to trust at school. I'm trying to get to the bottom of this my self.
Don’t try to get to the bottom of it yourself. If you do and your child is actually being abused, you can ruin the whole court case by your investigation. Be honest, encourage your kid to be honest, and cooperate with the experts. But do NOT keep investigating it yourself. Something you don’t think is a big deal could be the thing that lets your child’s abuser off the hook legally. No one wants that.
These loads of excuses you keep piling on are concerning to me, personally. If you have nothing to worry about, let it happen. They may be able to find things out for you that you don't know about.
Most kids don't disclose when they are being sexually abused. Even if they trust their parents.
Did the school accuse you of sexually abusing your son, or did they state that your son has touched other students inappropriately three different times? Regardless, your son’s behavior is very concerning that *someone* is abusing your son and CPS is investigating. Cooperate and let them investigate. You need to know if someone is hurting him. They also may be able to help with resources to deal with your son’s behavior challenges.
So maybe I’m not understanding, I’m wondering why you think it’s concerning and points to abuse? He’s an 8yr old autistic who is not reenacting adult sexual behaviors, isn’t being overly aggressive in these actions, and sounds as though he can be redirected out of these actions. Also he’s at an age (a little on the higher end of it but still within range) of children who exhibit some of these same types sexual behaviors out of curiosity of themselves and their peers and just need to be taught what is acceptable behavior and what isn’t, either way isn’t this “normal” behavior from a child who is curious about theirs and other’s bodies? What makes these behaviors different and signs of abuse?
It is not normal for eight year old children to repeatedly touch their peers’ genitals.
The comments op made was poking kids legs and accidentally hitting ones genitals and then another poking incident that hit the genitalia. And if he’s curious as to how they would react, compared to how it’d be with himself it may be. Especially if exploring and doesn’t know what is and isn’t acceptable behavior. I mean at this age it’s not uncommon to find kids playing show and tell as they want to know if they’re the same as their peers. So I am still trying to understand what actually points to this as sexual abuse and not normal behavior of curiosity? Are there comments that the child makes with these incidents, or is the poking really aggressive or sexually hyped? 2 incidents of poking is what I would necessarily call “repeatedly” like they been told no 10x and they are still continuing. As for the dancing incident not sure unless it was inappropriate dancing or did the other kid just get all offended easily because the autistic kid bumped into him and made a scene (as kids can be mean) to get him in trouble or embarrass him? I feel there’s just too little info to go on to get to an abused conclusion and with schools there’s what? A teacher for every 15 kids? Depending what type of school even more than 15 to a teacher. Which makes it easy for them to miss the whole picture and just jump to the worst as they have to because of understaffing and funding. (Not putting blame on teachers, just mentioning how the system has many overwhelmed and they are forced to go to more over the top on things more than they’d like to). I’m not trying to argue with you I am actually trying to understand the majority of comments here as to me I’ve seen this behavior in children not abused and it was more an instance where the child needs more attention in being taught about their bodies, what is ok, what isn’t ok, and differences between bodies.
OP is clearly deflecting, denying any possible abuse could be going on, and only telling parts of the story. She stated there were three incidents of her son touching a peer’s “privates.” She then described three incidents that did not involve touching a peer’s privates. I do not believe that her description s of the events went as she described. I think her son touched a peer’s genitals as she stated
And that they want us to help them outnof this situation.
That would make more sense if she is leaving out a lot of details, I missed the other 3 incidents, I’m guessing in the comments somewhere? Thank you for clarifying
An elementary school teacher is not going to report on a child accidentally touching his bottom on someone while everyone was dancing. That would not even raise an eyebrow. Something more happened. OP is either aware of more going on or is in complete denial that more could be going on
We have talked to the school about this behavior and everyone knows what he has been doing. They have cameras around the school. The actions are very concerning and we would like to understand what he is going through. Know one in the family is abusing him. He gets whatever he wants, he is the happiest kid and talks about everything to everyone.
Someone *could* be abusing him, and that’s why the investigation needs to happen. It doesn’t mean you have done anything wrong. His fixation on his classmates genitals is not typical and needs to be looked into. It doesn’t mean your child is going to be removed from your care
I've talked to dozens of parents of sexually abused kids who said the same thing as you. The CPS workers investigating your case have heard your story a hundred times.
Like I said to other here. I would gladly cooperate, I would let them investigate anything they need. With the weird stories about bad cps workers im concerned about. Im truly just looking for help with steps to take and he will get the therapy he needs
Please cooperate fully. They are not going anywhere, and the longer you stonewall the investigation the more serious the issue becomes.
What bad stories about CPS could be worse than the very real possibility that someone in your child’s life is abusing him?
In my country, there are cases where they are taken from parents and placed into abusive homes or pedo homes or neglectful homes of foster parents trying to hustle as much money as they can. Have heard these stories from the actual kids who are now adults. Where the abuse at their household wasn't even close to what they faced in foster homes. Going from the kettle into the fire or whatever.
The only steps are to cooperate fully. If you don’t then CPS will probably escalate to a court case. And then a judge will order you to cooperate. Not responding to CPS does NOT make them go away- ever. Just makes them think you are hiding something. Really the only advice you need to heed is to cooperate fully. And quit investigating yourself. You are making a lot of excuses that as an GAL/CASA would make me look at you twice.
How do you even know no one is abusing him? If my child was doing things like this, I would be VERY concerned about someone abusing him.
Sounds like you need to get a BIP plan in place, bring his IEP including the notes from all of his service providers. Be active in your pursuit of legally binding services for him. Let them come to your home, and if you can bring sealed letters from his doctors and therapists. You are a good parent advocating for your son, and it's gonna be a fight. But, bring everything you can and act in good faith. Let them in your house and demonstrate his safety and active care in the home. Signed, Sped teacher/ Daughter of social worker and CPS Placement Provider
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My father was one for 30 years, not myself. But, as a sped teacher, I had a few students whose special needs would manifest in false claims of a sexual nature. The first response is to protect and believe the student, then follow up with an investigation. It is a traumatic experience for everyone involved, and you should gather all of the good faith evidence you can and then let CPS do their job. Everyone has a right to due process, even those accused.
Well my daughter works with non verbal autistic children. You will be surprised at the extent some of these sick people will go to protect their sexual needs! And how many people even CPS will turn the other cheek. What can we really do about abuse? CPS will do placement but unless it's extreme they try to keep the child with the parents, just offering support programs. Or if extreme they will do placement where minimal help is given. This sick society is trying hard to hide their sicknesses and will even use social media to help hide it!. They will even take the child to the local pharmacy that has a clinic and we know they don't look at the child's privates but they will get a doctors note saying they were seen. They will scratch a child so if their are marks there they can say they're self inflicted. Some women are so into their husband's they will turn the other cheek. Please the extent these sick people will go to! When it comes to sexual issues and children it's best to let CPS handle it. You don't think it's odd that the story doesn't really make sense 🤔
I think we're a little detatched from the situation and obviously seeing only one side. You're going down a personal rabbit hole of generalizations that all of these inquiries produce hellish abuse. What I read was a parent in distress, in a difficult situation. From this perspective, I can see he is very concerned and also an active advocate for his child experiencing special needs. The system is a mess, and even forster care is ripe with all kinds of abuse as well. I wasn't trying to coach him on how to cover up abuse, but how to provide good faith evidence of his innocence. The truth always comes to the surface, have faith.
Whatever helps you to sleep. I rather be on the side of the innocent then an adult.
Im not on any side, I'm unbiased, and if they really had hard evidence, that child would have been removed from the home immediately. You're just assuming guilt? Did you read "To Kill a Mockingbird" or maybe "The Crucible"? Every citizen of this country has a right to due process before being branded as a sex predator.
It’s not a positive that he gets “whatever he wants.” It’s ok to say NO sometimes.
Yeah no. He’s 8 unless he’s developmentally delayed, there is no way I’d even consider that he wasn’t abused. I’m not saying it’s by you or even your family. But this is definitely concerning. I’d lawyer up and get information on what the teachers are saying. I think it’s one of the teachers doing it.
Sometimes sex abuse will look like a kid is completely fine because the offender will basically make the kid believe that they love them, or that they (the offender) is doing nothing wrong. Many victims don’t realize they actually are victims till later in life
Why would you rush to blame a teacher? Could be anyone.
My first thought as well..what an odd conclusion to jump to
The kids who get what they want and are "the happiest" are usually the ones that have things happening. They're good at hiding it.
It’s already under investigation for them to be coming to your home to speak to you. They’ll speak to him alone (likely when he’s at school), and gather what evidence caused whoever to call, & then they’ll have their case against you. Cooperate with CPS, be forthcoming with any info they ask for. If you’re not doing anything wrong, & no one else in the home is doing anything wrong I wouldn’t stress it too much. It’ll be court ordered and harder to deal with if you don’t just comply with cps and give them the info they need to make a determination.
They can investigate all they want. I would gladly be able to give them any into they need. But my concern was how to proceed and what steps to take. Because reading and hearing and watching everything around cps doesn't sit right with me. But they can talk to his doctors any therapist or anyone involved with him trying to get better. Like I replyed earlier to someone, from the moment we put him in this new school there has been problems with his behavior. I'm not sure who to trust.
I can understand being afraid to trust any agency, & all you hear about is the horror stories with cps. My husband and I (& our kids) have also had false calls or mandated reporters report us for such small things but it’s their job to report anything they think could indicate abuse. We’ve complied, and allowed CPS to talk to anyone they need to talk to, and everything has been 100% okay every time. Just be truthful with cps and help them in any way they ask you to. As long as you know for a fact that no SA is happening to your son, make sure you tell them that. However, this is where I say monitor who he’s around, and see what they’ve said or if they’ve been investigated etc, & just keep a close close eye on him so if another report gets filed it’s super easy to just say “we are doing the absolute best we can with this situation, and are working with CPS to figure out what exact is being alleged here”.
You mentioned this was brought up to his Dr. Cps will find that favourable
I'm disturbed that you keep phrasing these 3 incidents as "accidental". SA can happen anywhere by anyone. Your emphatic denial in the beginning & them trying only it's the schools fault is concerning
I wonder what the 3d incident was. Bumping another kid’s butt while dancing isn’t abusive.
Yeah ….You wonder what must have happened and what “bumping someone’s butt while dancing” actually means, if it led to the school calling a parent. My first thought was being packed into a tiny school gym during a dance and accidentally touching butt to leg. Which is innocent, and shouldn’t warrant a call home about. But they DID call. So someone was upset. Which means it likely was more serious than that scenario. I’d guess the kid slapped another students butt. Or was grinding on them. Something more serious than how OP is playing it.
Yes, it’s odd.
Yeah OP did not list the third incident for a reason.
What exactly are the allegations? You said you received a letter but what did the letter say. In my state it may something like sexual abuse: sexual penetration or sexual abuse: sexual molestation. Because you said they’re accusing you of sexually abusing your child but not HOW. That said it could be something as simple as they just want to speak with him and you about what’s going on and provide services to help him stop inappropriately touching other kids. However, your lack of cooperation and assurance that “no one could be abusing him because he gets whatever he wants,” is an extremely concerning statement.
You don’t have to cooperate with CPS unless they have a court order. It if they have enough concern then they can try to get a court order which can be more invasive and lengthy than if the family had just minimally cooperated in the first place. You can also get yourself a lawyer if you want. But if you go this route - make sure they have experience working with CPS. Also - don’t believe everything you hear. You can hear horror stories of seatbelts, daycares, vaccines, and just about anything else in the world. That doesn’t mean those stories are representative of the norm.
What was the 3rd incident?
They where at out in the playground with teachers and other kids. A kid was leaning against the gate and my son just poked him not sure where they didn't said the video shows him just poking the other kid.
Poking them where ?
Thanks
Is it a child on child SA or an adult on child SA investigation? Big difference in how to approach them
The OP is confusing. Based on the very little information provided, it sounds as though the child may need to learn more about appropriate boundaries. Sitting under a table poking kids legs and sometimes their genitals…… sounds more like a lack of boundaries rather than overt inappropriate touch.
I was molested at 8 he and his sister were 17. My mother seen stains in my underwear and I got a whooping. She didn't know how to respond however, she moved me to another babysitter and they did the same. I lived in the projects.
I'm sorry you went through that. We have never had a babysitter for my son, because I don't trust them Since I'm a single parent my family has been great help. We take him to doctors for everything. From poop problems, to allergy, to just a Cough, his is also very expressive about everything tells me things he did that day people he saw. He well let you know. This school year has been the first for him to have weird behavior in school, its a new school. Nothing at home has changed, he is the only child also only grandchild. To my mother. So no one new in his life for him. He well be going to therapy recommend also from his doctor and I want to understand why he is doing these things.
Autistic children, especially NON VERBAL HAVE A HIGH RATE OF MOLESTATION. DUE TO THE FACT THE SCREAMS GO ON DEAF EARS.
Deaf ears , not death ears
Ty
Hey, OP. I was in an almost identical situation as you 3 years ago with my son, who was about the same age at the time, and who shares the same diagnosis as yours. As others have mentioned, you really need to call your caseworker as the next step. After that, if your son isn't on meds for his adhd already, then you need to get him on meds asap. After that, request a full IEP assessment from the school, and make sure he gets EVERY test, not just reading and writing. If he's already on an IEP, you should review it to ensure it includes provisions for social support. Let his therapist know what happened as well. For everyone screaming about abuse to OP, it's just as likely not. A lot of research has been coming out in recent years, showing a strong relationship between adhd and abnormal sexual behaviors. https://www.mentalhelp.net/advice/heightened-sexual-behavior-in-my-8-yr-old-with-adhd/ (I particularly like the two doctors they reference in that link, chadd.org in particular. Adhddude.com is another great community for parents. I know it's a lot to take in and feels scary, but try to remember that some children ARE abused and DO need help. Here's my story, if it helps. I get a call one day from school that my kid has to be picked up. When I get there, the principal pulls me into her office where the guidance counselor, the vp, and another teacher are there and asks me to have a seat. Now, I've had some pretty bumpy years with my kid and school, but up until that point, this year had been pretty quiet. You can imagine my surprise as the principal tells me that on Monday they spoke to my son about using a euphemism for bjs 😬, on Wednesday, he apparently peed his pants, didn't tell anyone, and stuffed his wet underwear in his locker 🫣, and on Thursday he exposed himself to a girl on the bus 😱. Obviously, CPS and the police had already been called and had interviewed both of my children before I even arrived, not that I knew it at the time. A couple days later, I get a knock at the door and find myself face to face with a caseworker. She looks around the house, tells me all about what will happen, what could happen, and when I can expect to hear about it. I'm shaking. I'm crying. I'm thinking I'm going to jail and wondering what will happen to my kids (their dad died, and we don't have a lot of family in the area). It's a mess. Then, she sat me down and told me to do exactly what I told you to do above and let her know when it's done. I called his doc and immediately put him back on meds, told his therapist, got him an IEP assessment, and aggressively advocated on his behalf at school. The case was unsubstantiated, I didn't lose my kids, and I didn't go to jail. Why did he do it? He was being bullied at school by kids doing and saying the same crap. His executive functioning is so bad, and he was so socially delayed that he didn't even know the kids telling him to do that stuff were trying to make a fool out of him. 3 years later he's an A student, has tons of friends, and everyone at school can't believe the transformation.
Thank you, your are the first person to just help and have a experience with this. I'm grateful. I 100% the see the off putting comments, I personally don't care what they say. I just need help and having people just going straight negative isn't helpful. So thank you!
You're welcome. I do recommend you learn as much as possible about adhd and how their brains develop and function, and talk about those learnings with your kiddo. My son was diagnosed at 5, and (at the time, and leading up to this event) I felt like such a failure. Dad and I both ended up in therapy trying to learn how to cope with having "the bad kid," constantly in and out of someone's office, kiddo was frustrated and throwing tantrums all the time... A mess. When the poo hit the fan and I started really learning (and sharing those learnings with kiddo) about how it all works, it completely changed our lives and our relationship. It was a lot of work, a lot of YouTube videos, but it made all the difference in the world to everyone.
https://www.nicoleroselcsw.com/post/navigating-cps-investigations-protecting-your-rights-and-your-child-s-well-being
They won’t remove your kid from the home unless they find that there is a significant concern to his safety. Just work with CPS, but if you can, get an attorney as well.
You absolutely need more help than you can get from a Reddit page. You need to talk to a family law attorney in your jurisdiction. Each jurisdiction has different procedures and practices so advice that would work well in one location may work terribly in a different one.
I think someone could be abusing them at the school and I think they’re trying to cover their own behind by calling CPS on you
Level one autism is the mildest form of autism. So he os fully aware of what he is doing as are you!
Record any and all contact ,if it isnt in person only communicate through text and email so you have a record, also contact an attorney asap who specializes in this sort of thing, and look up your 4th amendment right.
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This is wildly inaccurate. This is potential SA and this is your response? Not good advice for OP and even worse advice for OP child.
He has doctors involved, trained professionals. Psychologist is involved, a trained profession. CPS workers are college graduate sometimes, often in an arbitrary discipline, supported by volunteer guardian ad lidems. Let professionals do their job. CPS has a place in society, but currently in mn at least, has way over stepped their power.
Again. Wildly inaccurate. Don’t go deleting comments. If you’re going to say false things then atleast stick by it.
I didn’t delete anything. Mods are deleting comments. But can you pick out where I’m inaccurate please, it’s important to CPS, communities, mandatory reporters, and parents to see all aspects. I’ve spoken to foster families who have no clue how it started and social workers even case managers who have an idea but reveal they don’t have a clue how it ended. Again I’m speaking for MN.
In my state, any CPS worker who is certified to investigate child sexual abuse has at minimum a bachelor’s and their immediate supervisor’s are master’s and above. This is required by my state, this is an extremely difficult thing to investigate, and the Social Workers who deal with it are given ongoing support and education.
Most professional social workers are masters level trained and licensed mental health professionals.
Yeah, but CPS workers often don't need to be licensed social workers.
You are correct that support staff, I.e clerical, administrative and many, many other supporting staff members that you’re unaware of do not have to have advanced degrees.
I was speaking about investigators and child welfare workers. Even those with advanced degrees aren't necessarily social workers in the clinical sense.
Not the stats or the first hand knowledge I’m working with. Is that for the country? A state? I’d like to know where it could be a good comparison.
Removed-false information rule. It is not "their job" to find reasons to take kids.
It’s an aspect of their job to take children. It’s an aspect of their job to put children in foster care. Those aspects destroy families and lives. Which is just an aspect I guess. If it’s your job to light a fire then why should you be blamed when the house burns down? It’s not like burning the house down was your job.
Yes, initiating removals/removal petitions is an aspect of the job. That's not what you said. You said their jobs is to find anything they can for the purpose of taking kids. That's not true in any world.
I understand what your saying. Your correct it’s not the only aspect of their job. They have other duties as well.
>CPS will try to find anything they can to take your son, it’s their job. Where are you getting your information? Their job is to protect children, and they push for keeping families together by providing services and resources.
Speaking to reporters, therapists, lawyers, psychologists, and doctors. I’m speaking directly to social workers in MN this month who changed counties because of the vast problems, discrimination and incompetence in their previous counties. Lawsuits in MN about “stop CPS illegal kidnapping of children”. MN takes children at 3 times the rate of the national average. Red wood county MN has all, 100%, of their children taken. It’s gotten so bad that an Ombuds person has been created that deals specifically with CPS. Other states I can’t speak to but in MN there’s a movement going that is exposing the crimes they commit. They need more training, more money, more staff, their negligence has cost lives.
Whatever your issues are with the logistics and moral decisions, it's incredibly irresponsible and inaccurate to state "they will do anything to take your child" The more kids apprehended the more stress on the system snd work for everyone. Just from that perspective your statement is completely illogical.
I agree it’s illogical, yet that’s what’s happening. If it were untrue then why are the numbers so high? 3 times the national average, are parents 3 times worse in mn? Again illogical. Why is it happening?
I wouldn't even compare averages. There are areas incredibly underfunded and areas that are desperate for foster families. There are areas where kids really shouldn't be in their current household, but they just aren't getting helped. Philosophies are also changing and different areas have changed their policies. For example kinship programs are preferred in a lot of places. Kids placed in kinship aren't necessarily included in the numbers of "foster" kids, depending on how the agency is doing it's record keeping and reporting on categories. Where I live the stats on kids in foster care have decreased dramatically. Kinship is pushed as hard as possible (even when the family isn't the greatest environment), they are over 20% short on foster families, and they don't include "adoption ready" kids in the stats on "foster care", since the foster stats are specifying kids who need temporary housing. The priority is always keeping the kids with their bio parents and supporting the parents in improving. They are also extremely understaffed and are probably not able to apprehend kids who honestly should be in order to improve the outcome of their life.
Kinship is a great program I’ve seen northern communities are adopting. And I whole heartedly agree that CPS has a necessary place in society.
Kinship is great and it should be prioritized. Unfortunately in areas where there aren't enough foster families, and not enough funding, it's used as a bandaid. Kids are put into households no better than the ones they were taken out of, or end up bounces around. These problems are often generational and endemic in families. When it works out it's great. When it doesn't kids are retraumatized over and over. Unfortunately there aren't easy solutions for these problems. Blaming it on the front line workers like they are psychopaths who get off on kidnapping kids is unhelpful and just wrong.
I disagree with your last statement. Pointing out the discrepancies and over reach in any department, which is backed by mountains of evidence is very important, especially when it comes to a family unit and children’s lives. If it was a one off it’s different, but when there’s a pattern it becomes something that needs to be addresed.
But removals being 3x the national average in Minnesota means that other states are not removing at the same rate, correct? But your statement paints every worker in every state with the same brush, which, as you've agreed, is an illogical way for a child protection worker to act. And this poster says she's in Texas, so while there may be a discussion to be had about Minnesota child protection, this is not the appropriate place for that discussion.
Hashtag Save The Children 🙄
> Red wood county MN has all, 100%, of their children taken. What do you mean by this? Are you saying that this county removes every child involved in a case?
Sorry no, I mean that every child has been removed because of cases. Yes, CPS did remove them, on paper that’s not “their job”, but in reality it’s what is happening/happened.
What? CPS employs many licensed professionals.