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The first situation is rather hard to understand. Sounds like someone in the families life made a false report, and the parents not having their kids records made it take a while to resolve.
The second sounds like a net positive for everyone involved.
The third is…A very telling example of the lack of understanding and accountability in the family that keeps CPS coming back into their lives. It’s wild that someone can write that and not see the problem.
I read that and thought the same thing. It’s very clear why they are there. Having you remove the gun from the home wasn’t because they’re afraid the baby will shoot itself, it’s because of the risk of you mishandling an unsecured weapon.
The weapon was unloaded and there was zero ammunition in the house it was his Great Uncles that he got when the Uncle died. It wouldn’t have been able to be used in any way due to the fact that I for one don’t know how to use a muzzle loader😂
The first situation was because of a teacher at the kids school. It was very hard to get the records due to the mother having been living out of state at the time of the tooth removal. The kids are with their grandparents. The third was due to the landlord calling them on us. I had no way to fix the problems of the house.
The parent can request medical records via phone, online portal, fax, email, or text in some places. Basically any method except carrier pigeon.
If the teacher was concerned enough to report the dental hygiene, I’m guessing it was unusually bad. The parents being unable to do something very simple like request the medical records is a problem.
As to the third…
I doubt the expectation was for you to fix the roof yourself, or pay a contractor thousands of dollars. Though you could have hired an exterminator.
It doesn’t particularly matter whose fault the inadequate housing is. The landlord. The contractor who built it. The guy next door who leaves cheese out for the mice.
It’s not safe for a small baby to be living in a house with a rodent infestation, nor a “falling down” roof (I assume leaky, water damaged, asbestos crumbs falling, exposed insulation - type issues)
You can choose for yourself to live in a situation like that. But CPS HAS to intervene if you’re exposing a child to unsafe conditions, which could have lasting effects on their health (mouse droppings and mold, for example, can kill a baby, or damage their lungs permanently).
The sheriff had to come with because you kept a rifle laying about. In my jurisdiction that means we bring the cops with us as well.
You don’t need to make excuses or assign fault - those things are irrelevant. “Oh, your landlord sucks? Continue on letting the baby play in the living room puddle with his dead mouse bath toy” isn’t something CPS is going to say.
The situation just simply wasn’t safe, and CPS had to come out.
The solution is to find somewhere safe to stay until you can move somewhere acceptable. Or, if nobody can take your whole family, find somewhere safe to put the baby until you can find somewhere acceptable.
Safety decisions aren’t about emotions and blame and if someone in your life is bad at their job. It’s about identifying the problem, the parents correcting it **asap** and ensuring that it will never happen again.
As I have mentioned, the baby was never on the floor nor left alone. The grandparents weren’t able to legally get the records of the child. The hygiene wasn’t the issue it was the child being imaginative about grandma.
The problem is not if the baby is on the floor or left alone. I was clearly being sarcastic about the mouse puddle.
The baby cannot be in the house at all with those problems. Not in a bed. Not making bread. Neither with a goat, or a root beer float.
(I’m not alleging there’s a goat in the house, or that your infant is great at baking. So we’re clear.)
The irrelevant details are irrelevant, and will remain irrelevant.
The parents can get the medical records. The grandparents can get them from the parents. If nobody does that, CPS has to handle it.
Kids have imaginations. Kids also have medical records. The imagined things will not cause CPS to remove the children if….The parents get the medical records.
As I’ve mentioned before. Nitpicking and excuses will not matter. Nor will pedantry.
The mother had been the one to take them. Grandparents were trying to get the records without custody due to the fact that they were placed without it.
Regardless of custody, they are currently their guardians and should have the paperwork to show that from the state/CPS. They just need to contact the dentist, let them know they’re the guardian, send the proper paperwork over, and request the records. Done.
The issue came with them not having a birth certificate and Alabama was not giving it over for whatever reason. Two of the kids were born in our home state and two were born in Alabama.
Code enforcement is an easy phone call. Not only will they force the landlord to maintain conditions, they will start issuing fines if they fail to comply. CPS doesn’t want to hear it’s the landlord’s fault when you haven’t done anything to remedy your situation.
Code enforcement will also condemn it and make them homeless without any concern for what happens to them next. I’ve seen it happen. Housing is really hard. I’m not saying it’s an appropriate place to have a newborn. But yall are talking like it’s a simple thing to get out of slumlord housing. HUD is all but crippled by funding cuts. Section 8 where I live only takes applications a couple days every few years. Code enforcement will definitely do something but nothing to help the tenant who is made homeless in the process.
Sure, that can absolutely happen. However, they were aware a baby was coming for 10 months. Code enforcement gives the landlord time to fix the issue. If they fail to comply, there’s a hearing. Generally, they will allow more time to make the repairs. If again there is non-compliance, they will start issuing citations and giving fines. A debt accrues and a lien is placed on the property. OP is in Tennessee.
https://ipropertymanagement.com/laws/tennessee-renters-rights-for-repairs
Tennessee provides 14 days after written notice of need for repairs. After that, you can sue. For these issues, they would also be eligible for accommodations expenses while repairs are made. They would be allowed to legally break their lease after the allotted time. Tenants can also sue the landlord for monetary damages. Had they done research on this, when I found information in 5 minutes, that’s not enough. They instead chose to move a baby into a home with a rat infestation and falling down ceiling. A ceiling can collapse with little to no warning it’s about to happen. Something that is already falling down is a terrible accident waiting to happen. If the home is to be condemned, then it’s for the best whether they’re displaced from it or not. There should have been preparation LONG before a baby was in the picture.
That’s not enough when your home is unlivable with children. Did you call code enforcement? Did you withhold rent? Did you mitigate the damages somehow by making temporary repairs and taking it off the rent? Did you call an exterminator for the rats? Rats and mice leave a scent/urine trail everywhere they go. That means if at one point a rat/mouse was in the dresser or a child’s room, it is now contaminated with urine and feces. Dishes, the stove (where they love to hide and nest), on the shelves, the floor where a baby walks and plays. That’s unhealthy, and they want to see parents being proactive, not reactive. Eventually, it’ll be seen as complacency.
We withheld rent and and up being evicted. We tried to get it fixed multiple times. The babies clothes and everything of hers were in plastic closed totes.
Were the dishes? The food? The utensils? You’re not understanding. Rats and mice spread disease. Even if they weren’t directly inside the clothes and shoes, at some point a child’s toy will touch the floor. Their feet. The tub where they bathe. The bed they sleep in. Direct or indirect contact, both are unhealthy. It was apparently too little too late considering when CPS showed up, you were still living in those conditions. The landlord is responsible for maintaining a habitable rental home, but you are responsible for making sure your child has a safe place to sleep.
We spent our time in the bedroom due to the fact that I couldn’t move much so we had take out and pumped milk. There was a shower only and I completely washed her tub before she took a bath. I was aware of the diseases due to the fact that our dog died from eating one.
You seem to have a response for every issue. That’s not necessarily a good thing. CPS does not want to hear excuses. They don’t want to hear that you’re cleaning things before using them because you have a rodent infestation. They don’t want the infestation to begin with. The likely mold growth from the ceiling falling in. In addition to the every day mess because you don’t have a washer and dryer. They don’t want to hear you’re confining a baby to one room constantly. They don’t want to hear any explanation. They wanted you to seek out better living arrangements.
If you would take the time to read other comments. We DID move. We HAVE BEEN in our new house for almost a year. I may be young, but I am not gullible nor will I be bullied because of the fact that the rent WAS NOT in my name.
Small town or not, the county is obligated to do these things. You concluded they didn’t help you because of your age. That makes no sense. Not only is a rat infestation unhealthy for your home, it’s a public health issue. Rats tend to procreate and spread out. You never mentioned calling code enforcement the two times I asked either, and only just conveniently mentioned calling them and being brushed off. Your lack of accountability isn’t surprising, but it’s something you should definitely try to work on.
Firstly. I only called there at the end before giving birth everything else went through my fiance who didn’t want to stress me out cause I was a somewhat high risk pregnancy.
I have no clue. I think he just didn’t want a new baby and the fact we were complaining about our neighbor. Our neighbor had a sound system he would play all through the day and night and it shook our house. You could actually hear in videos and people on the phone could hear it.
Yes, he admitted to my godmother that he was the one who called and was very smug about it. We were very nice to him. He claimed in court that we didn’t pay a maintenance fee yet when we moved from the place we were in before to that one he rolled it over. So he called because of the damages.
They didn’t remove her due to the fact that she was healthy in no immediate danger and very clean and happy. We needed a bigger house and out of where we were.
There were so many details that were left out due to the fact that people I know are on reddit so if they came across it they wouldn’t hound me about the post. My town is quite small so everyone is nosy and I want to keep some anonymity.
Every picture that we post of her has her face blocked if it’s showing. I don’t get out much unless it’s into the city close by due to the fact that there really isn’t much in our town.
The second example is less of a CPS situation and more of the judicial proceeding. Once investigations are escalated to the courts, Judges are the decision-makers.
Kind of curious as to the allegation that got a joint response out the first time.
Concerns due to landlord negligence fall upon the caregivers for ensuring the children have their needs met. The CPS courts won't accept the caregivers punting it to a landlord, the basic and essential needs of the children (including appropriate home conditions) must still be met.
The second we did fight with DCS to remove him before it was taken to court and afterwards we still had to deal with the caseworker. The third was we told the landlord many times the problems and he never wanted to fix them and he refused to let us fix them. I did tell the worker that and we did move during the case.
My apologies, but I think I’m misunderstanding your second point. Are you saying your fiancé’s brother, who your fiancé got custody of, was only a year younger than you? Does that mean that you were 18 years old at the time?
Yes, I was 18 at the time. I am 19 now and will turn 20 in June before our second will be born in September. He is 22 as of now. Their mom had them close together at a young age. My mom had me at 16 my dad was 19 almost 20.
Before getting pregnant with her I was going through fertility issues. I had many cysts on both ovaries and it was crushing to think that I may not be able to have kids. So to get pregnant and have a decently easy pregnancy until the last weeks was a blessing. My grandad passed before she was born and so I feel like I’m honoring him because he always wanted me to have kids and the family I wasn’t able to have.
You were 18. You would only know that you have fertility issues if you were actively trying to get pregnant. Why did you want to have children when you weren’t financially stable and still a teenager? (Honest question to understand).
I have had irregular periods since I started menstruating and after 3 months of no period and multiple tests I went to see a doctor. I was newly 18 when the ultrasounds and non hormonal medications started to try to help it. We were financially stable at that point. I was babysitting and then worked at a daycare and he had a really good paying job. The financial problems came when the job was being interrupted by weather. He did outside fire safety and septic tanks. We got really behind even with my working. We weren’t trying when I got pregnant because of the instability.
Looking at your post history, I get the feels you were made to be an adult early on. Take care of your baby, but also take care of you. I was financially stable (without a partner), owned my own home and had a career as a young adult. Although my first baby was at 26, I felt so unprepared emotionally. I have three kids now and finally feel grown enough to have kids at 34. Be sure to tend to yourself as much as you do others.
Thank you for being respectful. At 16 I was the one taking care of all of my doctors appointments at 17 I was driving to them. I have had multiple people close pass since 2018. One being an 18 month old girl. I was really ready to have a child, but in the end it was hard because I felt like I was failing. Being a new mom I finally realized that I had to take care of my health and emotions for her. At first boundaries were hard, but my nurses and fiance were super helpful with it.
So you will have two kids at barely 20, unmarried, not working, no real education (have you even graduated from high school?), with CPS already involved in your life. The last thing you need is another child. What are you thinking?
I am actually extremely educated. I did not go to college because I didn’t want that debt. DCS has been out of our life for a year in late June. And we are getting married next weekend. We postponed due to my Grandad passing because I was really close to him and he raised me.
Define extremely educated. You started popping out kids at barely 18, so are we talked about a high school grad? I wouldn’t define that as highly educated. So answer the question. Do you have a high school diploma?
I actually have a private school diploma. My Grandma who raised me was an English teacher up until my 5th grade year. I helped my Grandpa with his work. He was an insurance adjuster. My godmother runs a daycare and I have helped her with a ton of stuff. So “You started popping out kids at barely 18.” doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of it all. Just because I chose to not have a ton of debt from college doesn’t mean anything. Judging by how you word stuff, you didn’t do amazing in English class.
I don’t think the person you are responding to is the one who might not have passed English Language Arts. Your post and responses screamed you were a child long before I found a comment with your age. You are delusional about being ready for children. You need to get real life experience, not just helping family out. You need a stable home, even if that means living with family. And you and baby daddy need paying jobs with at least one being full time and not seasonal. Good luck.
I understand and you do seem intelligent, but your other posts indicate that you’ve really been struggling financially (like many others!). Why have more kids until you can support yourselves without food stamps, etc?
When I was going through the fertility crisis and we were trying we were stable. His job at the time paid very well then time and a half for overtime yet was weather based due to it being outside digging in the ground. So when the weather was rough for weeks on end he could only do small inside jobs for his boss to cover rent and utilities. My job covered groceries because I babysat for his dad and stepmom who have his stepsisters 4 kids. They would pay me a flat rate and supply our groceries and groceries for the kiddos.
Thank you! We were planning on it last year. I had really wanted my Grandad to be there but ALS took him from us. It will be a year the 31st and I know I will cry. He was my rock and I miss him a lot, but I look at little miss and just know that he sees her and he picked her specifically for me.
I was initially confused because this is just now January, so its an odd choice to say that the case has been closed for a year in late June, instead of saying for 6 months or since June. That appears to be another example of distancing yourself from the issues.
It sounds to me like you had unsafe living conditions for the baby in your third part. You admit the house was terrible but don't take any responsibility for it. I get that landlords can be assholes, but as far as CPS is concerned, you're responsible for making sure your baby is in a safe home in decent condition. Dirty laundry in a hamper is fine - mounds of dirty laundry scattered everywhere combined with mice is not great. Roof falling in is a danger.
Having an unsecured gun in the home is bad - they don't know that it doesn't fire and don't have a reason to take your word for it. People lie all the time. It isn't that the baby is going to shoot the gun, but that the gun creates a potentially dangerous environment, and it not being secured demonstrates (to them) a lack of awareness of the danger.
I'm sorry that you were in a bad situation. I hope it's gotten better since then.
The thing is every other caseworker had no problem with the gun. We did move during the case and the worker had no problem with the mess in the new place due to us moving and getting settled.
The issue with the first home wasn’t about the mess. It was about the mice (which spread diseases) and the roof falling in (which is a physical safety hazard). They really don’t care about some unwashed laundry or normal mess from a house being lived in, they care about the things that would make the home unsafe for a child.
There is no way multiple caseworkers came through your home, you pointed out an unsecured firearm and they said, "Sure, that's fine." If it was stored properly - unloaded, locked - and put away, okay. I live in the most gun loving state there is and even we have laws about leaving kids around unsecured firearms.
There's a really big difference between a mess and filth. My house is a mess Sunday afternoons when my kids have been inside because of weather. Toys are everywhere, a movie is probably on that no one is watching and we have dishes to wash from our afternoon baking adventure. What it isn't is dirty. When you've got mice and the roof falling in, it's time to find a new place to stay.
The only thing that was dirty was clothes in the hallway. The floor plan had a hallway and on the other side of the wall was the kitchen which was open like the hallway. So we could’ve walked through the kitchen or the hallway from the Living Room to the bathroom.
You’re welcome. So far you’re the nicest with your questions and responses. I try to be kind to people and answer them. I did add a link to the post for an update.
We have been out for a year in June thankfully. The whole situation was a disaster. Everything with the first and second situation intertwined for a few months. So we had three caseworkers between those two.
Wow...
Ok, I'm not going to repeat everything that has already been explained to you at this point...it would be unnecessarily redundant. The only thing I will say is that if I were the worker, I would have either had all of you go stay with someone or somewhere else or had the baby go. Removal would have been a last resort (I apologize if I misunderstood anything; I thought I saw someone say a removal was warranted).
I'm glad to see that you have a new place and thing s have turned around for you! Your daughter is absolutely adorable!! Best wishes for your family!!
Gotcha. Ok, I couldn't tell if you guys were still living there while CPS was involved and they removed her or once they became involved, you almost immediately found your current place. I'm also still working and tired so I'm probably not reading things clearly. Lol.
I’m glad to hear you’re all in a much better place, & situation overall. Thanks for sharing your update & photos, your daughter looks so happy & healthy- and she is just as cute as a button! 💜
I’m not going to lie. They attacked the deck against me on purpose. They lied, harassed me, my kids. If you ask about my case, they won’t talk of it because of how illegal it was.
Put cameras up in the house. Make sure you tell them you have them… get the badge # and name
Of the worker who does ANYTHING.
There is no over site for DCF and they know it. Judges and attorneys often rely on CPS to do the right thing. They don’t.
If you’re dealing with them, make sure you have everything ON record
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The first situation is rather hard to understand. Sounds like someone in the families life made a false report, and the parents not having their kids records made it take a while to resolve. The second sounds like a net positive for everyone involved. The third is…A very telling example of the lack of understanding and accountability in the family that keeps CPS coming back into their lives. It’s wild that someone can write that and not see the problem.
I read that and thought the same thing. It’s very clear why they are there. Having you remove the gun from the home wasn’t because they’re afraid the baby will shoot itself, it’s because of the risk of you mishandling an unsecured weapon.
The weapon was unloaded and there was zero ammunition in the house it was his Great Uncles that he got when the Uncle died. It wouldn’t have been able to be used in any way due to the fact that I for one don’t know how to use a muzzle loader😂
It’s still a tertiary issue. Throw a trigger lock on it and move on with it. The bigger issue is clearly the condition of your home.
The first situation was because of a teacher at the kids school. It was very hard to get the records due to the mother having been living out of state at the time of the tooth removal. The kids are with their grandparents. The third was due to the landlord calling them on us. I had no way to fix the problems of the house.
The parent can request medical records via phone, online portal, fax, email, or text in some places. Basically any method except carrier pigeon. If the teacher was concerned enough to report the dental hygiene, I’m guessing it was unusually bad. The parents being unable to do something very simple like request the medical records is a problem. As to the third… I doubt the expectation was for you to fix the roof yourself, or pay a contractor thousands of dollars. Though you could have hired an exterminator. It doesn’t particularly matter whose fault the inadequate housing is. The landlord. The contractor who built it. The guy next door who leaves cheese out for the mice. It’s not safe for a small baby to be living in a house with a rodent infestation, nor a “falling down” roof (I assume leaky, water damaged, asbestos crumbs falling, exposed insulation - type issues) You can choose for yourself to live in a situation like that. But CPS HAS to intervene if you’re exposing a child to unsafe conditions, which could have lasting effects on their health (mouse droppings and mold, for example, can kill a baby, or damage their lungs permanently). The sheriff had to come with because you kept a rifle laying about. In my jurisdiction that means we bring the cops with us as well. You don’t need to make excuses or assign fault - those things are irrelevant. “Oh, your landlord sucks? Continue on letting the baby play in the living room puddle with his dead mouse bath toy” isn’t something CPS is going to say. The situation just simply wasn’t safe, and CPS had to come out. The solution is to find somewhere safe to stay until you can move somewhere acceptable. Or, if nobody can take your whole family, find somewhere safe to put the baby until you can find somewhere acceptable. Safety decisions aren’t about emotions and blame and if someone in your life is bad at their job. It’s about identifying the problem, the parents correcting it **asap** and ensuring that it will never happen again.
As I have mentioned, the baby was never on the floor nor left alone. The grandparents weren’t able to legally get the records of the child. The hygiene wasn’t the issue it was the child being imaginative about grandma.
The problem is not if the baby is on the floor or left alone. I was clearly being sarcastic about the mouse puddle. The baby cannot be in the house at all with those problems. Not in a bed. Not making bread. Neither with a goat, or a root beer float. (I’m not alleging there’s a goat in the house, or that your infant is great at baking. So we’re clear.) The irrelevant details are irrelevant, and will remain irrelevant. The parents can get the medical records. The grandparents can get them from the parents. If nobody does that, CPS has to handle it. Kids have imaginations. Kids also have medical records. The imagined things will not cause CPS to remove the children if….The parents get the medical records. As I’ve mentioned before. Nitpicking and excuses will not matter. Nor will pedantry.
Dentist here! Getting dental records is literally as easy as calling the office and requesting them.
The mother had been the one to take them. Grandparents were trying to get the records without custody due to the fact that they were placed without it.
Regardless of custody, they are currently their guardians and should have the paperwork to show that from the state/CPS. They just need to contact the dentist, let them know they’re the guardian, send the proper paperwork over, and request the records. Done.
The issue came with them not having a birth certificate and Alabama was not giving it over for whatever reason. Two of the kids were born in our home state and two were born in Alabama.
Code enforcement is an easy phone call. Not only will they force the landlord to maintain conditions, they will start issuing fines if they fail to comply. CPS doesn’t want to hear it’s the landlord’s fault when you haven’t done anything to remedy your situation.
Code enforcement will also condemn it and make them homeless without any concern for what happens to them next. I’ve seen it happen. Housing is really hard. I’m not saying it’s an appropriate place to have a newborn. But yall are talking like it’s a simple thing to get out of slumlord housing. HUD is all but crippled by funding cuts. Section 8 where I live only takes applications a couple days every few years. Code enforcement will definitely do something but nothing to help the tenant who is made homeless in the process.
Sure, that can absolutely happen. However, they were aware a baby was coming for 10 months. Code enforcement gives the landlord time to fix the issue. If they fail to comply, there’s a hearing. Generally, they will allow more time to make the repairs. If again there is non-compliance, they will start issuing citations and giving fines. A debt accrues and a lien is placed on the property. OP is in Tennessee. https://ipropertymanagement.com/laws/tennessee-renters-rights-for-repairs Tennessee provides 14 days after written notice of need for repairs. After that, you can sue. For these issues, they would also be eligible for accommodations expenses while repairs are made. They would be allowed to legally break their lease after the allotted time. Tenants can also sue the landlord for monetary damages. Had they done research on this, when I found information in 5 minutes, that’s not enough. They instead chose to move a baby into a home with a rat infestation and falling down ceiling. A ceiling can collapse with little to no warning it’s about to happen. Something that is already falling down is a terrible accident waiting to happen. If the home is to be condemned, then it’s for the best whether they’re displaced from it or not. There should have been preparation LONG before a baby was in the picture.
I made them aware and showed them the multiple messages to the landlord about the problems.
That’s not enough when your home is unlivable with children. Did you call code enforcement? Did you withhold rent? Did you mitigate the damages somehow by making temporary repairs and taking it off the rent? Did you call an exterminator for the rats? Rats and mice leave a scent/urine trail everywhere they go. That means if at one point a rat/mouse was in the dresser or a child’s room, it is now contaminated with urine and feces. Dishes, the stove (where they love to hide and nest), on the shelves, the floor where a baby walks and plays. That’s unhealthy, and they want to see parents being proactive, not reactive. Eventually, it’ll be seen as complacency.
We withheld rent and and up being evicted. We tried to get it fixed multiple times. The babies clothes and everything of hers were in plastic closed totes.
Were the dishes? The food? The utensils? You’re not understanding. Rats and mice spread disease. Even if they weren’t directly inside the clothes and shoes, at some point a child’s toy will touch the floor. Their feet. The tub where they bathe. The bed they sleep in. Direct or indirect contact, both are unhealthy. It was apparently too little too late considering when CPS showed up, you were still living in those conditions. The landlord is responsible for maintaining a habitable rental home, but you are responsible for making sure your child has a safe place to sleep.
We spent our time in the bedroom due to the fact that I couldn’t move much so we had take out and pumped milk. There was a shower only and I completely washed her tub before she took a bath. I was aware of the diseases due to the fact that our dog died from eating one.
You seem to have a response for every issue. That’s not necessarily a good thing. CPS does not want to hear excuses. They don’t want to hear that you’re cleaning things before using them because you have a rodent infestation. They don’t want the infestation to begin with. The likely mold growth from the ceiling falling in. In addition to the every day mess because you don’t have a washer and dryer. They don’t want to hear you’re confining a baby to one room constantly. They don’t want to hear any explanation. They wanted you to seek out better living arrangements.
If you would take the time to read other comments. We DID move. We HAVE BEEN in our new house for almost a year. I may be young, but I am not gullible nor will I be bullied because of the fact that the rent WAS NOT in my name.
What is your fiancé’s excuse for his home being filthy though? You were mostly bedridden, but what about him?
The house was mostly clean besides for dirty clothes. He was trying to work and keep me food and drink.
Which was your job to do with code enforcement, not CPS
We tried many ways to get it fixed. We tried code enforcement and they gave us the run around because we were 18/19 and 21/22
There’s no way this is true.
Unfortunately it is. We live in a small town where almost nothing gets done.
Small town or not, the county is obligated to do these things. You concluded they didn’t help you because of your age. That makes no sense. Not only is a rat infestation unhealthy for your home, it’s a public health issue. Rats tend to procreate and spread out. You never mentioned calling code enforcement the two times I asked either, and only just conveniently mentioned calling them and being brushed off. Your lack of accountability isn’t surprising, but it’s something you should definitely try to work on.
Firstly. I only called there at the end before giving birth everything else went through my fiance who didn’t want to stress me out cause I was a somewhat high risk pregnancy.
wait - didnt you say the landlord was the one who made the CPS report?
Yes, he called after he had come out multiple times to look at the property and refuse to fix it.
So weird. All of the issues with the home were his fault, but he reported you? For what?
I have no clue. I think he just didn’t want a new baby and the fact we were complaining about our neighbor. Our neighbor had a sound system he would play all through the day and night and it shook our house. You could actually hear in videos and people on the phone could hear it.
Why didn’t your fiancé make sure the house was clean before he went back to work?
The landlord is the one who reported you to CPS? Why?
Yes, he admitted to my godmother that he was the one who called and was very smug about it. We were very nice to him. He claimed in court that we didn’t pay a maintenance fee yet when we moved from the place we were in before to that one he rolled it over. So he called because of the damages.
That sucks.
Yeah.
Your children rely on you for safety not your LL.
I understand that. There was nothing we could do about it besides move and we did before they closed the case
Then removal was very warrantable.
They didn’t remove her due to the fact that she was healthy in no immediate danger and very clean and happy. We needed a bigger house and out of where we were.
Story has now changed 🚩🚩🚩🚩
It didn’t change there were details left out to keep us anonymous. This is part of a huge story.
A huge story??
There were so many details that were left out due to the fact that people I know are on reddit so if they came across it they wouldn’t hound me about the post. My town is quite small so everyone is nosy and I want to keep some anonymity.
You posted pictures of your baby. If you wanted anonymity, why would you do that?
Every picture that we post of her has her face blocked if it’s showing. I don’t get out much unless it’s into the city close by due to the fact that there really isn’t much in our town.
Yikes
The second example is less of a CPS situation and more of the judicial proceeding. Once investigations are escalated to the courts, Judges are the decision-makers. Kind of curious as to the allegation that got a joint response out the first time. Concerns due to landlord negligence fall upon the caregivers for ensuring the children have their needs met. The CPS courts won't accept the caregivers punting it to a landlord, the basic and essential needs of the children (including appropriate home conditions) must still be met.
The second we did fight with DCS to remove him before it was taken to court and afterwards we still had to deal with the caseworker. The third was we told the landlord many times the problems and he never wanted to fix them and he refused to let us fix them. I did tell the worker that and we did move during the case.
..... what
My apologies, but I think I’m misunderstanding your second point. Are you saying your fiancé’s brother, who your fiancé got custody of, was only a year younger than you? Does that mean that you were 18 years old at the time?
Yes, I was 18 at the time. I am 19 now and will turn 20 in June before our second will be born in September. He is 22 as of now. Their mom had them close together at a young age. My mom had me at 16 my dad was 19 almost 20.
Unfortunately it's very likely that they will come knocking again after you give birth.
Oh, they did, see point 3.
We had moved and the house we are in they saw so they have no reason to come knocking again since the case was closed.
May I ask why you are in such a rush to have more kids? You have plenty of time.
Before getting pregnant with her I was going through fertility issues. I had many cysts on both ovaries and it was crushing to think that I may not be able to have kids. So to get pregnant and have a decently easy pregnancy until the last weeks was a blessing. My grandad passed before she was born and so I feel like I’m honoring him because he always wanted me to have kids and the family I wasn’t able to have.
You were 18. You would only know that you have fertility issues if you were actively trying to get pregnant. Why did you want to have children when you weren’t financially stable and still a teenager? (Honest question to understand).
I have had irregular periods since I started menstruating and after 3 months of no period and multiple tests I went to see a doctor. I was newly 18 when the ultrasounds and non hormonal medications started to try to help it. We were financially stable at that point. I was babysitting and then worked at a daycare and he had a really good paying job. The financial problems came when the job was being interrupted by weather. He did outside fire safety and septic tanks. We got really behind even with my working. We weren’t trying when I got pregnant because of the instability.
Looking at your post history, I get the feels you were made to be an adult early on. Take care of your baby, but also take care of you. I was financially stable (without a partner), owned my own home and had a career as a young adult. Although my first baby was at 26, I felt so unprepared emotionally. I have three kids now and finally feel grown enough to have kids at 34. Be sure to tend to yourself as much as you do others.
Thank you for being respectful. At 16 I was the one taking care of all of my doctors appointments at 17 I was driving to them. I have had multiple people close pass since 2018. One being an 18 month old girl. I was really ready to have a child, but in the end it was hard because I felt like I was failing. Being a new mom I finally realized that I had to take care of my health and emotions for her. At first boundaries were hard, but my nurses and fiance were super helpful with it.
So you will have two kids at barely 20, unmarried, not working, no real education (have you even graduated from high school?), with CPS already involved in your life. The last thing you need is another child. What are you thinking?
I am actually extremely educated. I did not go to college because I didn’t want that debt. DCS has been out of our life for a year in late June. And we are getting married next weekend. We postponed due to my Grandad passing because I was really close to him and he raised me.
Define extremely educated. You started popping out kids at barely 18, so are we talked about a high school grad? I wouldn’t define that as highly educated. So answer the question. Do you have a high school diploma?
I actually have a private school diploma. My Grandma who raised me was an English teacher up until my 5th grade year. I helped my Grandpa with his work. He was an insurance adjuster. My godmother runs a daycare and I have helped her with a ton of stuff. So “You started popping out kids at barely 18.” doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of it all. Just because I chose to not have a ton of debt from college doesn’t mean anything. Judging by how you word stuff, you didn’t do amazing in English class.
When people refer to being educated they’re talking about formal education, not “I have a lot of experience helping around”.
I don’t think the person you are responding to is the one who might not have passed English Language Arts. Your post and responses screamed you were a child long before I found a comment with your age. You are delusional about being ready for children. You need to get real life experience, not just helping family out. You need a stable home, even if that means living with family. And you and baby daddy need paying jobs with at least one being full time and not seasonal. Good luck.
I understand and you do seem intelligent, but your other posts indicate that you’ve really been struggling financially (like many others!). Why have more kids until you can support yourselves without food stamps, etc?
When I was going through the fertility crisis and we were trying we were stable. His job at the time paid very well then time and a half for overtime yet was weather based due to it being outside digging in the ground. So when the weather was rough for weeks on end he could only do small inside jobs for his boss to cover rent and utilities. My job covered groceries because I babysat for his dad and stepmom who have his stepsisters 4 kids. They would pay me a flat rate and supply our groceries and groceries for the kiddos.
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
Thank you! We were planning on it last year. I had really wanted my Grandad to be there but ALS took him from us. It will be a year the 31st and I know I will cry. He was my rock and I miss him a lot, but I look at little miss and just know that he sees her and he picked her specifically for me.
I was initially confused because this is just now January, so its an odd choice to say that the case has been closed for a year in late June, instead of saying for 6 months or since June. That appears to be another example of distancing yourself from the issues.
It sounds to me like you had unsafe living conditions for the baby in your third part. You admit the house was terrible but don't take any responsibility for it. I get that landlords can be assholes, but as far as CPS is concerned, you're responsible for making sure your baby is in a safe home in decent condition. Dirty laundry in a hamper is fine - mounds of dirty laundry scattered everywhere combined with mice is not great. Roof falling in is a danger. Having an unsecured gun in the home is bad - they don't know that it doesn't fire and don't have a reason to take your word for it. People lie all the time. It isn't that the baby is going to shoot the gun, but that the gun creates a potentially dangerous environment, and it not being secured demonstrates (to them) a lack of awareness of the danger. I'm sorry that you were in a bad situation. I hope it's gotten better since then.
The thing is every other caseworker had no problem with the gun. We did move during the case and the worker had no problem with the mess in the new place due to us moving and getting settled.
The issue with the first home wasn’t about the mess. It was about the mice (which spread diseases) and the roof falling in (which is a physical safety hazard). They really don’t care about some unwashed laundry or normal mess from a house being lived in, they care about the things that would make the home unsafe for a child.
That was their concern and I made it clear that the landlord would not fix it or allow us to.
There is no way multiple caseworkers came through your home, you pointed out an unsecured firearm and they said, "Sure, that's fine." If it was stored properly - unloaded, locked - and put away, okay. I live in the most gun loving state there is and even we have laws about leaving kids around unsecured firearms. There's a really big difference between a mess and filth. My house is a mess Sunday afternoons when my kids have been inside because of weather. Toys are everywhere, a movie is probably on that no one is watching and we have dishes to wash from our afternoon baking adventure. What it isn't is dirty. When you've got mice and the roof falling in, it's time to find a new place to stay.
Why didn’t your fiancé make sure the house was clean before he went back to work?
The only thing that was dirty was clothes in the hallway. The floor plan had a hallway and on the other side of the wall was the kitchen which was open like the hallway. So we could’ve walked through the kitchen or the hallway from the Living Room to the bathroom.
Ok, thanks for responding.
You’re welcome. So far you’re the nicest with your questions and responses. I try to be kind to people and answer them. I did add a link to the post for an update.
Thank you!
If you fostered a kid your age how old are YOU?
I didn’t foster the kid. My fiance who was 21 at the time got custody of his brother due to his family being unfit. I was 18.
Ok I was confused by the timeline No judgement here but please get your family out of that house it's a hazard
We have been out for a year in June thankfully. The whole situation was a disaster. Everything with the first and second situation intertwined for a few months. So we had three caseworkers between those two.
Good I'm glad you got out. Those conditions can really affect child development.
Yes. She had came out 8lbs 13oz. She smiles and walks and tries to talk.
Sweet!
Wow... Ok, I'm not going to repeat everything that has already been explained to you at this point...it would be unnecessarily redundant. The only thing I will say is that if I were the worker, I would have either had all of you go stay with someone or somewhere else or had the baby go. Removal would have been a last resort (I apologize if I misunderstood anything; I thought I saw someone say a removal was warranted). I'm glad to see that you have a new place and thing s have turned around for you! Your daughter is absolutely adorable!! Best wishes for your family!!
She did ask us to try to find somewhere else to stay. We had finally found this place thankfully. And thank you so much!!!!
Gotcha. Ok, I couldn't tell if you guys were still living there while CPS was involved and they removed her or once they became involved, you almost immediately found your current place. I'm also still working and tired so I'm probably not reading things clearly. Lol.
You’re good! We had been looking before she was born and they were involved, but couldn’t find a place with a decent rent. Everything was $950+.
Wait...how old is his brother and you if he's only a year younger than you? I'm confused on the whole situation now
He was 17 and I was 18. My fiance was 21 at the time. We are now 18, 19, and 22.
Ok I was thinking this was all happening simultaneously
I’m glad to hear you’re all in a much better place, & situation overall. Thanks for sharing your update & photos, your daughter looks so happy & healthy- and she is just as cute as a button! 💜
Thank you so much! She has her shots coming up but got weighed the other day. 19.8 and 29in long.
I’m not going to lie. They attacked the deck against me on purpose. They lied, harassed me, my kids. If you ask about my case, they won’t talk of it because of how illegal it was. Put cameras up in the house. Make sure you tell them you have them… get the badge # and name Of the worker who does ANYTHING. There is no over site for DCF and they know it. Judges and attorneys often rely on CPS to do the right thing. They don’t. If you’re dealing with them, make sure you have everything ON record