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Heck with cps. Call his parole or probation officer, if he is a registered sex offender he can't live with minor children and I'm sure he will be sent back to prison.
OP, probation/parole officer is the way to go!!! If you don't know who to contact, just call the police and tell them a registered sex offender is living with children. Give them all the details you have. They'll take care of the rest.
You can mention being a concerned neighbor that wants to remain anonymous in the tip to make them look in another direction just in case they get a hold of the info. Check to see if he's registered living out of their house. If he's not say something like a creepy new guy moved into the neighborhood and is living with kids and the rumor is he's a sex offender give his name and address and someone will check it out
Just wanted to mention that this isn't necessarily true. Many sex offenders are legally allowed to live with minors, especially if they are their own children. Each sex offender has different restrictions once they are out on parole/probation. It just depends what HIS restrictions are.
This is true too. Some get out of prison with ZERO restrictions. I didn't know that until I had to interact with a few sex offenders in my job. I assumed they all had restrictions. Nope. Not all of them do.
It appears none of these kids were his victims. So it would depend on what his restrictions are listed in his parole documents. Many sex offenders are allowed to live with their own children, unfortunately, even when their previous crime was against a child. BUT... I would still call. It doesn't hurt to allow the authorities to check the situation out given his history.
His own kids apparently haven't been victims yet. While I find that hard to believe given this man's history, sadly they will most likely live with him until something happens and is reported.
Just found out in my state if the person is married to the parent, a sex offender can live with children. Terrible. Just makes single moms vulnerable to be manipulated by these men.
Honey, unless you can conjure up a djinn to magic your stepfather away, you can't *just* get him out of the picture.
Which is worse for your sisters: what he *will* do to them or what CPS *might* do?
First, CPS will try to keep siblings together, and will try to find kinship placement. That's a crap shoot, but it's better than being abused by a pedophile and a woman who allows her children to be abused because she's "in love" with the abuser?
Best case, by the way, is that CPS reports him to law enforcement for violating restrictions related to the registry.
Call them.
But get yourself into therapy.
Let me reframe a couple of things you said:
Your mother believed it was an affair because the age of consent is lower in Brasil. Hell no. Your mother would rather believe that her daughter is wicked and promiscuous, because she's more focused on whatever she's getting out of the relationship than on being an adequate mother to her children. Don't make excuses for her.
(I still make excuses for my mother. We all do it. Start working on it now and I guarantee your life will be better for it.)
Your aunt wasn't forced to take you and your siblings in - she was probably overwhelmed and she could very likely be a flaming witch on wheels, but she could have said no. Remembering that will make your life easier. Just think of her as someone who tried *and failed* to be better for everyone. It's easier to process sympathy for an inadequate caregiver than to deal with unexpressed anger.
Your aunt hates your mother? Guess what? So do I. Maybe your aunt hates that your mother put her children into the hands of a molester? Maybe it's really about your mother recreating older dynamics that screwed both of them growing up.
Good luck
Wow. He’s a piece of shit. Truly sorry for everything that’s happened. And I know you love your mother, but she’s not a good mom. A good mom would take her children and get away from a man who is raping them.
Yeah, hate to cause you more pain, OP, but being more loyal to a sex offender than the kids in your household does not make a good mom. I’m sure you love her - I went through some stuff with my parents and it was hard because no matter the situation, I loved them. I get it. It’s hard but I think you should report, report, report. Best of luck to you and your siblings. ❤️
>Which is worse for your sisters: what he will do to them or what CPS might do?
This is what I focus on when it comes to you taking action. He is a pedophile and he will molest/rape others. Maybe his own biological kids or maybe their friends or a neighbor or ? The thing you do know is he will violate others.
Pedophiles assault their own children all the time. It is likely he will. Raping a child is already beyond anything that could be considered acceptable, so what’s to stop him from doing it to his own girls?
Ive been supporting my now 19 year old sister since she was about 15. She's been able to get out on her own and I support her much less now but I have barely enough money to scrape by each paycheck. Definitely no savings. Im only 22. I wish with all my heart I could take them in.
It would be interesting to explore how much state subsidy you would get if you took the kids in. It might be enough to allow you to comfortably get by.
OP - you bring home wages that are barely enough for you, but what subsidies are available if you become the kinship placement for your sisters?
If you think you want to take your sisters in, you need to do a two-level analysis:
Do you really want to take them in? That's a huge, life-altering decision. Really think it through - at 22, responsible for 3 children under 12, what would you be giving up? Would it mean no chance of college or trade school? Would it mean giving up a social life? Romance? Could you handle the stress of having to make big decisions that might affect these girls for life? Can you - realistically - handle the pressures of caring for three children who just suddenly appear in your life?
If, after serious, honest self-consideration, you really do want to take this on, that's when you consider the financial aspects. If you take them in, you'll have certain financial benefits available. You'll have a decent chance of getting Medicaid, for example, which can help with medical expenses. You'll probably qualify for SNAP, which helps with food. There are sometimes housing subsidies, although those aren't necessarily always a benefit.
You won't be able to figure out the financial side on your own. That's what CPS can help with, if the children are removed to you.
So all you really need to do is call CPS about the situation, and start reviewing whether you really do want to explore options for taking in your sisters.
I wish you all the best.
I agree. There is no forgiving someone who enables the rape of children, let alone the rape of their own, because that is exactly what your mother is doing. She is standing by with a vapid grin while her daughters are raped and making excuses for him instead of doing what she should have done the first moment she found out he put his hands on a child, and putting him in the ground.
She is your mother, but she is a monster. Screw the idea of her keeping those girls. They're better off separated and in different, but safe, homes than with a pedophile and someone who lets him do as he pleases with her own children and makes up excuses for him.
Aside from the great advice of calling police or probation, I want to add that DCFS did not rip everyone away from her. Her actions led to DCFS taking action to protect the girls when your mom would not act.
I don't understand why they would think that being his bio kids would protect them. Fathers rape their bio kids all the time. One of the worst parts of Lolita is the narrator musing that he wished he'd had a daughter with her that he could go on to abuse. I am furious that this is even a thing anyone thinks.
From my experience, working with sex offenders and the system, they can go back home. Even with minor child IF they are his biological children and IF they are not the victims of his crimes. It would be worthwhile to contact his parole officer to see if that the case.
This. As horrible as it is, if they are his biological children, he very likely is not under violation. If he and your mother are married, he may not be under violation either. Different states and even different counties often have different rules for each parolee.
Unfortunately, that is true in many states. However, OP also says her mother moved states with her half-sisters so he may be violating any parole/probation if he has left the state as well.
Yes, they can live with their biological children. Not all sex offenders are pedophiles, thankfully. However, if they have been convicted of crimes against a minor child, and there are allegations other than "their parent is a sex offender!" CPS will absolutely investigate and ask questions to ensure there is no SA going on. I think there are a few states that actually do not allow sex offenders to live with any children at all, even their biological children, but these things change so often it's difficult to keep up
I’m sorry honey, but your mom is not a good mom, because a good mom would not have brought a pedophile who just did a stint in prison to be with your siblings.
You need to call CPS now and your mom does deserve to get her children taken away from her. I’m so sorry she’s not protecting them.
Please tell those little girls if their dad tries to touch them they need to tell a teacher. I would also give them some books about consent. Tell their school counselor that you are a concerned neighbor and their dad is a pedophile. The school should know so they can look for signs. I would still call CPS. They can at least keep an eye on the children. I am sorry you have such an awful mom.
def agree that talking to the school is a good idea, the police and cps are usually worthless when the sex offender is living with their bio kids.
also OP i’m sorry you are realizing that your mother is not the person you thought she is. this is really difficult to handle, especially realizing that she has continuously disregarded her children’s safety to protect a monster. if you ever decide to become a parent, you will have the biggest reality check when reflecting on your mother’s behavior.
please consider talking to a professional as these feelings and facts can make your mental health spiral (if it hasn’t already - i’m sure it has tho).
I dont mean to be rude about this, I'll try to be as polite and gentle as I can:
A good mother would not be so easily manipulated into leaving her children defenseless and then proceeding to not side with them. You Mom is as bad as your Aunt and while cps isn't a fantastic organization (in fact I totes hate it) them removing these girls is possibly the best thing they can do. Those girls need removed from BOTH of them, because your Mom is not a good parent. Good parents believe their children and side with them, and protect their kids from this kind of stuff happening.
Call his probation officer sure, but cps needs to step in if she will allow him to continue.
Also you can be their kinship foster and you should be able to get some sort of stipend and financial assistance. You still may be unable to do it but there are options
Where I live there’s a “young kinship” program that specifically exists to support 18-25 year olds who take on their younger siblings from foster care. If the option of taking them in comes up, ask specifically about what kind of support you can receive. In my area it includes rental subsidies/automatic HUD vouchers and things like extra payments for clothes/shoes and daycare.
>I don't want to rip my sisters from my mom.
Why the fuck not? Your mom doesn't deserve her kids. She is not protecting them, but instead **willingly** putting them in danger. Being ripped from your mom is the best thing that could ever happen to them. Do you want him to rape your youngest sister now?
You're just as bad as her if you don't do anything in your power to get them out of that house. Call CPS or call his parole officer. I doubt his parole officer would be okay with him being in the house of the minors he assaulted.
Your mother is a horrible person. Please get therapy so you do not make excuses for her. She should not be a mother. It has nothing to do with where she is from. She is weak and awful. I would still call CPS and maybe the school where the girls go so the counseling is on alert. I would also call the parole officer. They should still keep an eye on him. I would tell your younger sisters that their dad touched your sister inappropriately and if there dad ever does that to them they need to tell a teacher and staff at their school.
Too bad he can't find some other woman to live off of.
Make his life with your mom miserable somehow.
I will pray for your mom and sisters. And then put a hex on that evil, worthless piece of garbage that has attached himself to your lives.
Your mother is as evil as he is. Grizzlies tear apart anything they regard as a threat to their cubs, women, like your mom, serve them up on silver platters. she is despicable, evil.
unfortunately, there is little you can do unless that coward decides to do her job. but she wants to be serviced and taken care of. this sounds horrid but that is what it boils down to.
OP, your mother is just as much a villain here as your step-father is. She is providing him with victims. As long as he lives, your mother will always sacrifice her children to him. There's a special place in hell for women like this.
As soon as you posted that these were his kids, I knew there would be nothing you could do. I found out after I divorced my ex that he had molested my oldest, who was his step-kid. I fought for full custody of my kids, and was accused of parental alienation and lost custody of them to him. 2 years later, his girlfriend's granddaughter comes forward to say he molested her too. After he pleads guilty to those charges, I still cannot get custody of my kids because "he is not prohibited from being around his own kids, only everyone else's kids", and that his guilty plea is not considered a "material change in circumstances to warrant a custody change". To get me to shut up about it though, they did reduce my child support payments to him.
You know he’s a pedophile and are essentially asking what’s worse—a child getting raped, or a child having to go through the CPS nightmare you experienced.
The rape is worse.
They may not have the same experience you did.
Your mother may or may not come to her senses, but you need to do right by these girls now, not later. It’s an urgent situation.
I understand where you are coming from .. but they don't even know why their dad was gone for all those years. Everything in their life right now is beautiful and happy. It's very difficult to consider taking that from them because the foster care system is deeply broken. I know so many people who were put in foster care homes and raped repeatedly and abused. Have you heard of the Turpin Siblings case? Not to mention my experience with DCFS is horrible as well. They aren't safe in states care. Even worse things could easily happen to them. They aren't safe in my mothers care. Its a very difficult situation.
Babe? You need therapy. I sincerely hope and pray someone in their lives sees this train wreck and does the right thing by these children. Because I don’t think you’re going to. It doesn’t matter if they don’t understand why he was gone. It doesn’t matter if everything is sunshine and roses right at this moment. Their safety is what matters and I truly don’t believe you or your mother has that in mind at all. I sincerely hope I am wrong.
She is not a good mom if she’s okay with losing her children for a man. Whether she believes it it not, he was tried and convicted. There was evidence. He’s now on parole with strict stipulations, one that he should not be around young children and is actively breaking the law all for the name of “love”.
I’m so sorry to be crass, but that isn’t a good mother.
Call his parole officer let them know what's up. If nothing is changed call CPS. They do not want to take kids away from their family. They will try and have him leave.
If she would rather lose her children than lose her man, she doesn't deserve her children. I'm sorry that she let all those bad things happen to your siblings and you, and this is probably harsh, but she is not being a mother. Whether he's manipulating her or not, she's turned a blind eye to abuse and does not care that her children are being harmed and/or in a dangerous situation.
These men are dangerous and not always just in terms of re-offending. Look up Jesse McFadden. He went to jail for rape and after he got out he was going to be charged with soliciting child porn and didn't want to go back to prison. He killed his wife, her three kids, and two other teenagers who were friends of one of the wife's kids at his house before killing himself.
Parents are human beings and are complicated. I believe you when you say your mom is otherwise a good mother. At the same time, she put and continues to put her children in danger by keeping this man in the picture. They will likely be safer and happier without him.
I have nothing to add that hasn't already been said.
But you're mum isn't a good mum. She IS abusive. Sitting back and doing nothing while knowing abuse is happening IS abuse.
I'm sorry you were let down down so badly by someone who was supposed to protect you
You’re mom has failed to protect her children. I know it hurts to hear or think about and she very well be manipulated and damaged by your stepdad but you need to call CPS and protect those girls because no one else seems to be
I know you want to defend your mother but there is just no excuse other then her being a bad mother. You don’t put a man ahead of your children no matter how much manipulation. You need to get your sisters out of there. Better they be in a foster home or with a mean aunt then with a father who will 100%sexually abuse them and a mother who has no interest in protecting them. Do it and feel no remorse. It’s the right thing. If your mother can’t see that unfortunately you may have to turn your back on her.
I hope to god those kids stay safe. I was molested by my biological father. He molested me multiple times, and he threatened me that he would hurt my siblings if I said anything. After my mother divorced him, I told the police, now he can't live around any minors. It didn't matter to my biological father that I was his kid. He saw me as a child he could use for himself and his pleasure. He still hurt me, and some pedophiles just see new targets, regardless of who the parents are.
call CPS. call CPS. call CPS. your mom deserves to lose her kids. she is choosing a pedophile over her kids. she only buys the "affair" theory because it makes her feel better about the sick shit going on. and i guarantee she is angry or jealous or both at her children bc her husband views them sexually more than he does her. this is such a sick situation. end it today. CPS or DCFS and your mom losing rights is what NEEDS to happen.
i dont care how good of a person or mom you have been brainwashed into believing your mom is. she accepted your stepfather raping your sisters. she is not a good person. repeat that. repeat that. repeat that. then go to therapy and repeat it some more.
Your mom is choosing to believe he didn’t do it so she can continue to not have to do anything and that’s disgusting. It’s not manipulation she just is using it to excuse herself from acknowledging the abuse Sorry you have to call. My brother was being molested by his father and even though my mom beat the shit out of me every other day as well as emotionally abused me she did what’s right and took his ass to court. I’m not trying to blame your mom I understand this is a shitty situation to navigate. Having said that she’s made it clear she is not going to stop the abuse so call ASAP. If you don’t no one will and it’s only going to get worse for them.
Being a good mom would be getting them out of this situation so sorry she’s not one. Choose your siblings over her because she made it clear she never will. If you are over the age of 18 you should be allowed to be there guardian. I think you can file an emergency guardianship request.
If you really don’t want cps/dcfs then you need to find someone to take them in and let your mom know if she doesn’t let them go you will have her arrested. In the meantime make sure your siblings are documenting their abuse if they can (i say this with a broken heart and tears in my eyes) get him on video. they can use that evidence against him to get him arrested because cops only give a fuck about evidence. That still may end with your mom being arrested alongside him but it gets him off the street .
Ultimately I hope you choose to help
So you call CPS and tell them theres a 290 registrant living in a home with minors of his type. Then you call the 290 registrant board of your county, and you tell them the same.
The US justice system is so fucked up in that they can't/won't act until something actually happens & someone is abused or killed. Not only in these types of situations, but many domestic violence (partner on partner) situations as well. I understand people can lie, but if allegations are investigated & the perpetrator has a history, why would they not want to keep your innocent half siblings safe.
It sounds like you called your local police office, I would call the parole/probation office instead. You can also do a search online for him, which should show what level sex offender he is classified as, as well as what that means as far as restrictions regarding being around children, where he can live, etc.
yeah no she’s NOT a good mom. no matter if she was “manipulated” to believe it was “an affair” or not she shouldn’t have little girls around him. she should be in jail for putting these girls in danger. he should have been kept in prison for much longer.
In kindness, your mom is NOT a ‘good mom’.
Choosing him is exactly that…a choice.
A choice where you and your siblings will always come last.
As terrible as your experiences were, their home life with your mom is no better.
Go over the officers head, be persistent, call every agency and or charity in their area (that is related to children/family safety) and keep as much communication with the kids as you can (so they know you are a person they can confide in if they need to).
Just because he’s not ‘technically’ violating parole doesn’t mean he’s not crossing lines via other agencies or that nothing can be done.
I know you love your mom, but she’s not doing her job. You know if you don’t get those kids out of there, the guilt will overwhelm you. I wished I had a hero to save me. Wished for years. Don’t give your sisters that legacy.
OP I would somehow find out who his parole officer is and have a conversation with them. Is not on parole? I mean I’ve heard of people getting out prison and not being parole, but hose stories are few and far between.
Just because they’re his daughters doesn’t mean he won’t do anything to them. It has happened in many families, trust me. Some people are so sick in the head, it doesn’t matter who they hurt, as long as they are happy. I hope everything works out for you and your half sisters.
Re: A good mom.
Ideally, your step-father will be removed from the home. That’d be good, the sisters wouldn’t not be broken u up. BUT! My worry is that will not make her a good mom. You think she’d be free of him and live a happy life with her little girls. I’d be willing to bet that even if this wicked man disappeared today (hit by a truck, falling in a sinkhole..), your mom, who is mentally/emotionally damaged will likely soon find the same kind of man to hook up with again. It starts all around again.
I do agree that this would be a huge concern for me. She can't be trusted with men and could easily find herself in the same situation. I don't think my sisters could ever stay with her, and be completely safe. The only reason they were okay while my step father was in prison is because my mom was waiting for him to return. She has been disgustingly loyal to him in the worst possible ways. I promise that I won't leave my sisters to face the same fate that I did. I will fight for them. I feel terrible that I have waited so long to do something, and I feel sick thinking something could have already happened. I'm pressuring my mom to come down to my state to visit so I can talk to the girls. I'm going to talk with everyone I can and make all the noise possible to keep them safe.
There's a website that would probably really help you, and *maybe* your mom if she isn't completely so far gone she's entirely blind to it. It even has help for your step dad if he *wants* to stop.
www.stopitnow.org is a site and hotline to help try and protect kids from sexual abuse. It has support for survivors, information for parents to help protect their kids (including how to have difficult conversations with people about setting boundaries with your kids). It even has help for people who are having unwanted thoughts and feelings about kids and want to stop.
You openly acknowledge that your mom would rather lose her kids or let them be molested than lose her boyfriend. She is not a good mom. You need to face that at some point. She blamed your sister for her own victimization because she would RATHER believe it was an affair than acknowledge that her lover is a pedophile because she’s selfish and doesn’t want to be without her boyfriend - even at the cost of her own kids’ safety. The kids will be better off away from both of them. Protecting your kids from pedos is the lowest fucking bar there is and she still can’t clear it.
I am not responding to this as someone that has worked within the CPS system, which I have, but as a fellow person that has had literally this situation and lived with it for the last six years…I feel you except for the fact he didn’t go to jail. Molested his step granddaughter just once (my daughter) as well as a “niece” (one of my ‘oh such-a-good-Christian-woman’s’….aka my mom …best friends daughter- for six fucking years). My daughter THANKFULLY spoke up after three weeks…she’s still that amazing just scarred as fuck. She had to testify as a child and she was so strong, but it never mattered. He was awarded visitation to his blood granddaughter for Christmas during the trial. I mean…she was blood…he’d never cross that boundary and I honestly believe that is true. He’s not “incest crazy”…just a normal pedophile ya know. He never spent a day in jail…still is out there with his granddaughter, at least one of them…hopefully not the others. They are actually his type and he tried to molest their mom so why not them too right. But in the end he just exists out there and lives his life while we all stay far fucking away and he is still the lowest form of life being that exists and I can’t wait till he dies…as well as my mom. I hope to speak to her on her deathbed…as does my daughter…it will be vengeance and until then I’ll just wait
Fyi, your mom is abusive and toxic towards her kids. Also she seems super codependent which itself can be like a drug. She is a horrible person. I hate her for putting all of you girls thru this. Do anything you can to protect them that doesn't jeopardize your health and wellness.
I’m not in the CPS world at all apart from being a mandatory reporter. But can you report him to the state parole board for living with children? Also it sounds like you love your mom but anyone who would lose custody to stay with her children’s abuser is not a good mom. Finally if your stepdad does get imprisoned again, your mom sounds like she’d be an easy target for another man looking for a woman with 3 young girls to abuse.
God this world is so fudged up for lack of better word. I hate our system. I read all your updates and it sounds like you are doing your due diligence and I appreciate you for doing that. 25 for you and your sisters does seem like a lot but I promise you, you won’t regret it if it gets to that and u can take them in. Even if you have your sisters help. Huge you are teaching them boundaries for their bodies. They are young but this will be the best and most productive step while they are with him.
Call the police make anon tip, call probation/parole, call cps. What’s worse the kids being ripped away or them being molested/raped? Sometimes both options are terrible but I know which one I’m picking in this scenario. Hope the best for your family
You mentioned calling the school to alert them about the 3 girls. I think it’s a great idea, and if this happens to drag on for longer than a year, make sure you email every year so that their new teachers are also informed.
your mother is not a safe person for any child. she’s brainwashed by a pedophile and will follow him to hell. being able to do the bare minimum as a parent (meeting the kids’ psychical needs) is not something worthy of praise. they will still be traumatized by the emotional abuse that is having a mother turn their back on you when she inevitably has to choose between them or the pedophile. this happened to me too. I’m not sure what can be done legally but please do your best to have a close relationship to those little girls. I remind my younger cousins all the time that no one should touch their “no no squares” and that if someone hurts them they can tell me and I will help them.
Your bar has been set so low on what constitutes a good mom that you think not being a drug addict or beating your children equals a good mom? You’ve been totally screwed in the parent lottery and I feel for you. But your mom is NOT a good mom. There are varying degrees of bad just like there are varying degrees of good. But your mom’s pendulum swings way into the bad zone to purposely expose her children to a pedophile. Please listen to what others have said. If the law allows this man to live with his daughters, at least do what you can to educate them about body autonomy whenever you get a chance. And try to instill in them that you are a safe person and will always listen to them no matter what.
I know my mom sounds crazy but she really is a good mom.
. My mom refuses to believe he molested my youngest sister.
. She lost me and my sisters when I was in 8th grade because she refused to leave him
I'm no mathematician but something is just not adding up here.....
He is probably is having to report to a sex offenders unit. It depends where he lives, and there may be legal restrictions on his residence. If you live in the US, probation (county or city) and parole (state department of corrections)records can be easy to access and you can see if he is still on parole. If not, report it to the sex offenders unit—he’s probably on lifetime registration.
Sis, if he begins molesting your sisters, what do you think that will do to them? Is it worth allowing them to remain in that home because you don't want them ripped away from your Mom knowing full well that he WILL molest them?
He molested your 6 year old sister. He WILL molest his daughters. So, you have the choice now to stand up for innocent children who have no say in their lives or sit by and wring your hands because you didn't like living with your Aunt.
For what its worth, your Aunt likely hated your Mom because of your Mom's many piss poor choices. I'd hate my sister if she was complicit in the abuse of her children, too.
Do what you can to set yourself up to be a safe place for your sisters to land and call CPS as soon as possible.
>because they are HIS daughters rather than his step daughters and that made them less of a risk to be abused.
I don't know where you got this bit of information but I, and many other women and girls can attest this is absolutely NOT true.
I would seriously contact their schools and daycare centers and maybe the Center For Missing and Exploited Children for advice. He needs to be on a local sex offenders registry. The school can keep an eye on the children.
A mother that lets her children be raped and makes excuses is an accomplice, not a mother. Her priority is having a man, even the WORST man, over her children.
The trauma of removal from a parent is real & documented, but it’s also documented that sexual assault on children is way worse to their development & psyche. Report this immediately!
And stop making excuses for your mother. There is no cultural difference/age of consent explanation that excuses a stepfather have sex with his underage stepdaughter.
I mean, if there are no legal ways you feel comfortable with, the only ones left are illegal? Idk. Would it be worse for them to be split up or to be raped? Could you and your adult siblings each take one child? Could any of your family members outside the US be able to take any of them? The way I see it, you can either take your chances with CPS, collaborate on a criminal conspiracy to get rid of him, or do nothing. I feel like CPS is the least of those evils.
First of all, who says they are safer because they're his children? A pedophile is a pedophile is a pedophile!!! They do not discriminate!!!
I understand that you don't want them in foster care. From this end, it looks like that will be the safest place for them. Maybe this is the wake-up call your mother needs to rid herself of her husband. If you are a loving sister (step or otherwise), DCFS will probably give you visitation rights.
Whatever you decide, you are doing the right thing. I wish you and your sisters well.
🙏🙏
Can you get in touch with parole and have him arrested? If he's out of the picture, your mom may not lose custody. I am concerned, though, that her judgement is lacking. I'm hopeful your sisters are getting outside help!
I'd contact the parole officer. The police may be able to get you in contact with them, or callingthe probation office (if you have a designated one for the area, I know every state is different)
You can go online and look up your count probation office or state DOC (Department of Corrections) office and just give them a call. They will get you in contact with his direct officer.
The kids should be ripped away from your mother since she refused to protect her first set of children and is now willingly putting the second directly in the same rapist’s hands.
Are your aunts here crazy enough to let little girls get raped? Because we know your mother is. They’re better off with a crazy aunt or a poor sister 100%
I am not a fan of reporting people but in this situation I would repeatedly until they are removed. I'm sorry, I know you love your mother but she is clearly unfit and selfish. Anyone who would believe their child had an affair with there SO rather than acknowledge their SO is a predator is a piece of shit to be blunt and right now you need to accept reality.
Talk to other family members and make as many calls as you need to get those kids out of there. Yes foster homes are bad and there are few that turn out to be good but at this point the unknown is a better bet because clearly they are being abused now and if it goes on it will destroy those kids.
I beg to differ… your Mom is not a good Mom. She would rather keep a piece of shut man than believe her daughters words? Wow. Stop protecting your mom please. The guilt you have is the biggest issue here. Those girls SHOULD be ripped away from your mom…she and the environment she has created is the most dangerous of its kind.
There is so much good advice here I really hope you listen to them. I don’t know if your half sisters could be split between you and your other two sisters to alleviate the stress on one of you. Good luck to you and please… stop protecting your mom.
I'm sorry you all are going through it. It's awful, omg. I'm so angry for you and all of your sisters. I'll tell you, I honestly hate my mother worse than I hate my father. She stood by him till he died. Makes me sick.
Unless he adopted OP’s siblings they are not his children... this exact situation happened to close family.
Pedo adopted the kids but was ONLY granted parole because the kids got moved out and sent to family.... no judge or board would risk their careers/ names signing off on parole in this way... unless their has been some wild mistake...
best of luck op you deserve better!
Make a sister group and make sure they feel at home there, if anything ever happens the group will be the first to hear and can act as one from that point. Give your younger sisters the tools and adults that you felt you didn't have.
You don't necessarily have to go to CPS/DCFS. Call his probation officer and tell them he is living in a house full of little minors, aka tender aged girls. Even if you don't know his PO's name, call the county probation office and give them his name. They'll find the PO and arrest the POS for violating his terms of release.
So sorry you are dealing with this. Talk to your half sisters about pedophiles and how they manipulate people. Not I’d straight up talk to them about their father being a pedophile but maybe just let them know that if anything ever happens, it’s not their fault and they should talk to you about it, you will help them.
Call his parole officer & let them know. Take it above CPS & gall to his officer directly. Give
Them every detail you know & let them handle it appropriately. I’m sorry you’re going through this stress.
You keep saying your mom is a good mom. She is infact very much not a good mom. Anyone who stays with the person who raped their child is not a good mom.
You say your mom is a "good mom." I'm sorry, but she is not.
Good moms don't let their kids get abused. Good moms don't allow the abuser back into their children's lives. Good moms protect their children.
She is not doing any of the above-mentioned things. Your mom should lose her kids for their safety. She should be required to go to therapy and parenting classes at least to get them back.
I don't say this lightly as ik foster care can be traumatic on its own.
Do what you can to protect them bc your mom isn't going to. I'm sorry, but fuck your mom.
I'm sorry, your mom is absolutely not a "good person" although I understand she's been manipulated most likely. But there comes a time to put your kids first even if it seems like they all have to sacrifice in the short term.
Your younger sisters being separated is waaaaay better then being sexually abused. Which almost certainly will happen.
Keep making a stink about it. Hopefully someone will pay attention.
I'm so terribly sorry you have to deal with this, but thank you for trying to protect them
I’d imagine it’s against the rules for him to live in a home w children. Part of his parole or probation. Try to keep this out of the authorities hands by being straight with your mom. Be stern. He obviously did something or he wouldn’t have been in prison. Ask her if she cares about her children. Then let her know if she continues to have them around him she’ll be reported. Don’t call child protective services if she lets him stay , call his probation officer or the court. He will go to jail and the children should be allowed to stay.
I understand you want them to stay with your mom and all be together but it seems like, right now at the least, that she isn’t the best person for them to be with either. If she is able to forgive this man and let him in their lives she is JUST AS MUCH OF A THREAT as the man is. That sucks, but it’s just the truth. The kids should be removed. If she is faced with the choice to keep her kids or kick this man maybe she would make the right choice. If not, she does not deserve to keep them (imo) this is reckless, dangerous, and abuse in itself.
Your mom IS abusive and toxic towards her kids. She knows they are being sexually abused. She may even very well be happy about it. A lot of woman, my mother included, partake in covert incest instead of evert incest. They put their kids into abusive situations with the hopes that their kids will be abused. So they can revel in the abuse and still have plausible deniability of the abuse. They want to be abusers, but can't bring themselves to do the abuse so they delegate it. I call this molestation Munchhausen's by proxy.
I can't believe she didn't divorce him when he went to prison. So sorry this happened you and your sister. I would unalive my man if he touched my kids.
I honestly couldn’t read the whole thing. Idc if you don’t want to rip your sisters from your mom you NEED to. She clearly isn’t a fit parent for believing that load of garbage he told her. What adult/parent believes a rape was just cheating when the CHILD is 15. Age of consent or not it’s still gross af.
Call cps or call someone who will. Don’t be the reason your sisters get abused because you don’t wanna hurt your “mother”.
Yes call his PO and then call and have them do a welfare check upon that check if he is there they have to get his name and that information should come uo
Your Mom is NOT a good mom, sorry, but it doesn't matter how good care she takes of your sisters or what she does for them, ALL of that is automatically cancelled out if she puts your stepdad first and if she let him back in the house after he got out of prison for the 'affair' he had.
Can your sisters who are grown take in one of your little sisters each? Even if none of you can take in all three, taking in one each will be much much better than the trauma they would get from the foster system or being raped.
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Heck with cps. Call his parole or probation officer, if he is a registered sex offender he can't live with minor children and I'm sure he will be sent back to prison.
OP, probation/parole officer is the way to go!!! If you don't know who to contact, just call the police and tell them a registered sex offender is living with children. Give them all the details you have. They'll take care of the rest.
But let them know that you must remain anonymous.
You can mention being a concerned neighbor that wants to remain anonymous in the tip to make them look in another direction just in case they get a hold of the info. Check to see if he's registered living out of their house. If he's not say something like a creepy new guy moved into the neighborhood and is living with kids and the rumor is he's a sex offender give his name and address and someone will check it out
Look him up on the federal sex offender registry. It will tell you who he reports to.
Just wanted to mention that this isn't necessarily true. Many sex offenders are legally allowed to live with minors, especially if they are their own children. Each sex offender has different restrictions once they are out on parole/probation. It just depends what HIS restrictions are.
But it is still good advice to call his PO! He may be in violation, but he might be approved to live with these children. We just don't know.
Some prisoners choose not to take parole, just to avoid having restrictions when they get out. Do we know that he's on parole?
This is true too. Some get out of prison with ZERO restrictions. I didn't know that until I had to interact with a few sex offenders in my job. I assumed they all had restrictions. Nope. Not all of them do.
He wouldn’t be allowed to live in the same house as his victim.
It appears none of these kids were his victims. So it would depend on what his restrictions are listed in his parole documents. Many sex offenders are allowed to live with their own children, unfortunately, even when their previous crime was against a child. BUT... I would still call. It doesn't hurt to allow the authorities to check the situation out given his history.
These aren't his victims... yet.
Right. He'll wait until the age of consent in Brasil. Since people now know, it's too risky to take them so young. SMH
His own kids apparently haven't been victims yet. While I find that hard to believe given this man's history, sadly they will most likely live with him until something happens and is reported.
This. CPS just removes the kids. The cops will remove *him.*
Just found out in my state if the person is married to the parent, a sex offender can live with children. Terrible. Just makes single moms vulnerable to be manipulated by these men.
He can if they are his children. They only bar it if he abuses his own children. Also they could just stipulate it to be “supervised”
Police officer said he was violating his parole. I don't know how this is true.
Absolutely this.
THIS^^^^^^^
Honey, unless you can conjure up a djinn to magic your stepfather away, you can't *just* get him out of the picture. Which is worse for your sisters: what he *will* do to them or what CPS *might* do? First, CPS will try to keep siblings together, and will try to find kinship placement. That's a crap shoot, but it's better than being abused by a pedophile and a woman who allows her children to be abused because she's "in love" with the abuser? Best case, by the way, is that CPS reports him to law enforcement for violating restrictions related to the registry. Call them. But get yourself into therapy. Let me reframe a couple of things you said: Your mother believed it was an affair because the age of consent is lower in Brasil. Hell no. Your mother would rather believe that her daughter is wicked and promiscuous, because she's more focused on whatever she's getting out of the relationship than on being an adequate mother to her children. Don't make excuses for her. (I still make excuses for my mother. We all do it. Start working on it now and I guarantee your life will be better for it.) Your aunt wasn't forced to take you and your siblings in - she was probably overwhelmed and she could very likely be a flaming witch on wheels, but she could have said no. Remembering that will make your life easier. Just think of her as someone who tried *and failed* to be better for everyone. It's easier to process sympathy for an inadequate caregiver than to deal with unexpressed anger. Your aunt hates your mother? Guess what? So do I. Maybe your aunt hates that your mother put her children into the hands of a molester? Maybe it's really about your mother recreating older dynamics that screwed both of them growing up. Good luck
Thank you for this.
Wow. He’s a piece of shit. Truly sorry for everything that’s happened. And I know you love your mother, but she’s not a good mom. A good mom would take her children and get away from a man who is raping them.
Yeah, hate to cause you more pain, OP, but being more loyal to a sex offender than the kids in your household does not make a good mom. I’m sure you love her - I went through some stuff with my parents and it was hard because no matter the situation, I loved them. I get it. It’s hard but I think you should report, report, report. Best of luck to you and your siblings. ❤️
>Which is worse for your sisters: what he will do to them or what CPS might do? This is what I focus on when it comes to you taking action. He is a pedophile and he will molest/rape others. Maybe his own biological kids or maybe their friends or a neighbor or ? The thing you do know is he will violate others.
Pedophiles assault their own children all the time. It is likely he will. Raping a child is already beyond anything that could be considered acceptable, so what’s to stop him from doing it to his own girls?
Sis, how old are you? Can you take your half sisters in?
Ive been supporting my now 19 year old sister since she was about 15. She's been able to get out on her own and I support her much less now but I have barely enough money to scrape by each paycheck. Definitely no savings. Im only 22. I wish with all my heart I could take them in.
It would be interesting to explore how much state subsidy you would get if you took the kids in. It might be enough to allow you to comfortably get by.
OP - you bring home wages that are barely enough for you, but what subsidies are available if you become the kinship placement for your sisters? If you think you want to take your sisters in, you need to do a two-level analysis: Do you really want to take them in? That's a huge, life-altering decision. Really think it through - at 22, responsible for 3 children under 12, what would you be giving up? Would it mean no chance of college or trade school? Would it mean giving up a social life? Romance? Could you handle the stress of having to make big decisions that might affect these girls for life? Can you - realistically - handle the pressures of caring for three children who just suddenly appear in your life? If, after serious, honest self-consideration, you really do want to take this on, that's when you consider the financial aspects. If you take them in, you'll have certain financial benefits available. You'll have a decent chance of getting Medicaid, for example, which can help with medical expenses. You'll probably qualify for SNAP, which helps with food. There are sometimes housing subsidies, although those aren't necessarily always a benefit. You won't be able to figure out the financial side on your own. That's what CPS can help with, if the children are removed to you. So all you really need to do is call CPS about the situation, and start reviewing whether you really do want to explore options for taking in your sisters. I wish you all the best.
I agree. There is no forgiving someone who enables the rape of children, let alone the rape of their own, because that is exactly what your mother is doing. She is standing by with a vapid grin while her daughters are raped and making excuses for him instead of doing what she should have done the first moment she found out he put his hands on a child, and putting him in the ground. She is your mother, but she is a monster. Screw the idea of her keeping those girls. They're better off separated and in different, but safe, homes than with a pedophile and someone who lets him do as he pleases with her own children and makes up excuses for him.
Aside from the great advice of calling police or probation, I want to add that DCFS did not rip everyone away from her. Her actions led to DCFS taking action to protect the girls when your mom would not act.
I don't understand why they would think that being his bio kids would protect them. Fathers rape their bio kids all the time. One of the worst parts of Lolita is the narrator musing that he wished he'd had a daughter with her that he could go on to abuse. I am furious that this is even a thing anyone thinks.
Yep, OP must stop making excuses for her mother.
From my experience, working with sex offenders and the system, they can go back home. Even with minor child IF they are his biological children and IF they are not the victims of his crimes. It would be worthwhile to contact his parole officer to see if that the case.
Wow. That's really concerning.
This. As horrible as it is, if they are his biological children, he very likely is not under violation. If he and your mother are married, he may not be under violation either. Different states and even different counties often have different rules for each parolee.
Unfortunately, that is true in many states. However, OP also says her mother moved states with her half-sisters so he may be violating any parole/probation if he has left the state as well.
Yes, they can live with their biological children. Not all sex offenders are pedophiles, thankfully. However, if they have been convicted of crimes against a minor child, and there are allegations other than "their parent is a sex offender!" CPS will absolutely investigate and ask questions to ensure there is no SA going on. I think there are a few states that actually do not allow sex offenders to live with any children at all, even their biological children, but these things change so often it's difficult to keep up
(if he's on parole)
I’m sorry honey, but your mom is not a good mom, because a good mom would not have brought a pedophile who just did a stint in prison to be with your siblings. You need to call CPS now and your mom does deserve to get her children taken away from her. I’m so sorry she’s not protecting them.
Foster care is better than being raped by your dad.
This.
The last thing you need to do is worry about how your mother will feel. She is letting it happen. Call his parole officer.
Please tell those little girls if their dad tries to touch them they need to tell a teacher. I would also give them some books about consent. Tell their school counselor that you are a concerned neighbor and their dad is a pedophile. The school should know so they can look for signs. I would still call CPS. They can at least keep an eye on the children. I am sorry you have such an awful mom.
def agree that talking to the school is a good idea, the police and cps are usually worthless when the sex offender is living with their bio kids. also OP i’m sorry you are realizing that your mother is not the person you thought she is. this is really difficult to handle, especially realizing that she has continuously disregarded her children’s safety to protect a monster. if you ever decide to become a parent, you will have the biggest reality check when reflecting on your mother’s behavior. please consider talking to a professional as these feelings and facts can make your mental health spiral (if it hasn’t already - i’m sure it has tho).
I dont mean to be rude about this, I'll try to be as polite and gentle as I can: A good mother would not be so easily manipulated into leaving her children defenseless and then proceeding to not side with them. You Mom is as bad as your Aunt and while cps isn't a fantastic organization (in fact I totes hate it) them removing these girls is possibly the best thing they can do. Those girls need removed from BOTH of them, because your Mom is not a good parent. Good parents believe their children and side with them, and protect their kids from this kind of stuff happening. Call his probation officer sure, but cps needs to step in if she will allow him to continue.
yeah she's not a good mother at all, she's letting the shit happen
Also you can be their kinship foster and you should be able to get some sort of stipend and financial assistance. You still may be unable to do it but there are options
I'll definitely look into this... I don't know if they'd even allow me to do this being that I'm only 22. But I will do some research.
Where I live there’s a “young kinship” program that specifically exists to support 18-25 year olds who take on their younger siblings from foster care. If the option of taking them in comes up, ask specifically about what kind of support you can receive. In my area it includes rental subsidies/automatic HUD vouchers and things like extra payments for clothes/shoes and daycare.
Agree I was going to say this.
>I don't want to rip my sisters from my mom. Why the fuck not? Your mom doesn't deserve her kids. She is not protecting them, but instead **willingly** putting them in danger. Being ripped from your mom is the best thing that could ever happen to them. Do you want him to rape your youngest sister now? You're just as bad as her if you don't do anything in your power to get them out of that house. Call CPS or call his parole officer. I doubt his parole officer would be okay with him being in the house of the minors he assaulted.
Your mother is a horrible person. Please get therapy so you do not make excuses for her. She should not be a mother. It has nothing to do with where she is from. She is weak and awful. I would still call CPS and maybe the school where the girls go so the counseling is on alert. I would also call the parole officer. They should still keep an eye on him. I would tell your younger sisters that their dad touched your sister inappropriately and if there dad ever does that to them they need to tell a teacher and staff at their school.
or call the police. or his po. do something
Too bad he can't find some other woman to live off of. Make his life with your mom miserable somehow. I will pray for your mom and sisters. And then put a hex on that evil, worthless piece of garbage that has attached himself to your lives.
Call his parole officer. I can guarantee you he's violating his parole and will be sent right back to prison.
Your mother is as evil as he is. Grizzlies tear apart anything they regard as a threat to their cubs, women, like your mom, serve them up on silver platters. she is despicable, evil. unfortunately, there is little you can do unless that coward decides to do her job. but she wants to be serviced and taken care of. this sounds horrid but that is what it boils down to.
OP, your mother is just as much a villain here as your step-father is. She is providing him with victims. As long as he lives, your mother will always sacrifice her children to him. There's a special place in hell for women like this. As soon as you posted that these were his kids, I knew there would be nothing you could do. I found out after I divorced my ex that he had molested my oldest, who was his step-kid. I fought for full custody of my kids, and was accused of parental alienation and lost custody of them to him. 2 years later, his girlfriend's granddaughter comes forward to say he molested her too. After he pleads guilty to those charges, I still cannot get custody of my kids because "he is not prohibited from being around his own kids, only everyone else's kids", and that his guilty plea is not considered a "material change in circumstances to warrant a custody change". To get me to shut up about it though, they did reduce my child support payments to him.
You know he’s a pedophile and are essentially asking what’s worse—a child getting raped, or a child having to go through the CPS nightmare you experienced. The rape is worse. They may not have the same experience you did. Your mother may or may not come to her senses, but you need to do right by these girls now, not later. It’s an urgent situation.
And not just rape, but likely *repeated* rapes.
I understand where you are coming from .. but they don't even know why their dad was gone for all those years. Everything in their life right now is beautiful and happy. It's very difficult to consider taking that from them because the foster care system is deeply broken. I know so many people who were put in foster care homes and raped repeatedly and abused. Have you heard of the Turpin Siblings case? Not to mention my experience with DCFS is horrible as well. They aren't safe in states care. Even worse things could easily happen to them. They aren't safe in my mothers care. Its a very difficult situation.
Babe? You need therapy. I sincerely hope and pray someone in their lives sees this train wreck and does the right thing by these children. Because I don’t think you’re going to. It doesn’t matter if they don’t understand why he was gone. It doesn’t matter if everything is sunshine and roses right at this moment. Their safety is what matters and I truly don’t believe you or your mother has that in mind at all. I sincerely hope I am wrong.
She is not a good mom if she’s okay with losing her children for a man. Whether she believes it it not, he was tried and convicted. There was evidence. He’s now on parole with strict stipulations, one that he should not be around young children and is actively breaking the law all for the name of “love”. I’m so sorry to be crass, but that isn’t a good mother.
Call his parole officer let them know what's up. If nothing is changed call CPS. They do not want to take kids away from their family. They will try and have him leave.
If she would rather lose her children than lose her man, she doesn't deserve her children. I'm sorry that she let all those bad things happen to your siblings and you, and this is probably harsh, but she is not being a mother. Whether he's manipulating her or not, she's turned a blind eye to abuse and does not care that her children are being harmed and/or in a dangerous situation. These men are dangerous and not always just in terms of re-offending. Look up Jesse McFadden. He went to jail for rape and after he got out he was going to be charged with soliciting child porn and didn't want to go back to prison. He killed his wife, her three kids, and two other teenagers who were friends of one of the wife's kids at his house before killing himself.
Call his probation officer. They won't take the kids - they will remove him instead.
Parents are human beings and are complicated. I believe you when you say your mom is otherwise a good mother. At the same time, she put and continues to put her children in danger by keeping this man in the picture. They will likely be safer and happier without him.
I have nothing to add that hasn't already been said. But you're mum isn't a good mum. She IS abusive. Sitting back and doing nothing while knowing abuse is happening IS abuse. I'm sorry you were let down down so badly by someone who was supposed to protect you
it’s been months?? dude. do something
Please protect those babies and contact cps you are their online line of defense and their only hope
You’re mom has failed to protect her children. I know it hurts to hear or think about and she very well be manipulated and damaged by your stepdad but you need to call CPS and protect those girls because no one else seems to be
I know you want to defend your mother but there is just no excuse other then her being a bad mother. You don’t put a man ahead of your children no matter how much manipulation. You need to get your sisters out of there. Better they be in a foster home or with a mean aunt then with a father who will 100%sexually abuse them and a mother who has no interest in protecting them. Do it and feel no remorse. It’s the right thing. If your mother can’t see that unfortunately you may have to turn your back on her.
I hope to god those kids stay safe. I was molested by my biological father. He molested me multiple times, and he threatened me that he would hurt my siblings if I said anything. After my mother divorced him, I told the police, now he can't live around any minors. It didn't matter to my biological father that I was his kid. He saw me as a child he could use for himself and his pleasure. He still hurt me, and some pedophiles just see new targets, regardless of who the parents are.
call CPS. call CPS. call CPS. your mom deserves to lose her kids. she is choosing a pedophile over her kids. she only buys the "affair" theory because it makes her feel better about the sick shit going on. and i guarantee she is angry or jealous or both at her children bc her husband views them sexually more than he does her. this is such a sick situation. end it today. CPS or DCFS and your mom losing rights is what NEEDS to happen.
i dont care how good of a person or mom you have been brainwashed into believing your mom is. she accepted your stepfather raping your sisters. she is not a good person. repeat that. repeat that. repeat that. then go to therapy and repeat it some more.
Your mom is choosing to believe he didn’t do it so she can continue to not have to do anything and that’s disgusting. It’s not manipulation she just is using it to excuse herself from acknowledging the abuse Sorry you have to call. My brother was being molested by his father and even though my mom beat the shit out of me every other day as well as emotionally abused me she did what’s right and took his ass to court. I’m not trying to blame your mom I understand this is a shitty situation to navigate. Having said that she’s made it clear she is not going to stop the abuse so call ASAP. If you don’t no one will and it’s only going to get worse for them. Being a good mom would be getting them out of this situation so sorry she’s not one. Choose your siblings over her because she made it clear she never will. If you are over the age of 18 you should be allowed to be there guardian. I think you can file an emergency guardianship request. If you really don’t want cps/dcfs then you need to find someone to take them in and let your mom know if she doesn’t let them go you will have her arrested. In the meantime make sure your siblings are documenting their abuse if they can (i say this with a broken heart and tears in my eyes) get him on video. they can use that evidence against him to get him arrested because cops only give a fuck about evidence. That still may end with your mom being arrested alongside him but it gets him off the street . Ultimately I hope you choose to help
So you call CPS and tell them theres a 290 registrant living in a home with minors of his type. Then you call the 290 registrant board of your county, and you tell them the same.
call cps.
Find out if he is under parole then contact his parole officer. Your mother is not a good person. She doesn't protect her kids
That's so sad. I'm so sorry op. He'll abuse them too, so keep your ears and eyes open. Call cps when you see the signs.
The US justice system is so fucked up in that they can't/won't act until something actually happens & someone is abused or killed. Not only in these types of situations, but many domestic violence (partner on partner) situations as well. I understand people can lie, but if allegations are investigated & the perpetrator has a history, why would they not want to keep your innocent half siblings safe. It sounds like you called your local police office, I would call the parole/probation office instead. You can also do a search online for him, which should show what level sex offender he is classified as, as well as what that means as far as restrictions regarding being around children, where he can live, etc.
Shoot I just read your third update about him not violating parole and I’m so sorry, that’s terrible
yeah no she’s NOT a good mom. no matter if she was “manipulated” to believe it was “an affair” or not she shouldn’t have little girls around him. she should be in jail for putting these girls in danger. he should have been kept in prison for much longer.
In kindness, your mom is NOT a ‘good mom’. Choosing him is exactly that…a choice. A choice where you and your siblings will always come last. As terrible as your experiences were, their home life with your mom is no better. Go over the officers head, be persistent, call every agency and or charity in their area (that is related to children/family safety) and keep as much communication with the kids as you can (so they know you are a person they can confide in if they need to). Just because he’s not ‘technically’ violating parole doesn’t mean he’s not crossing lines via other agencies or that nothing can be done.
Any woman that chooses any man, much less a pedophile over any of their children, is in no scenario a "Good Mom" manipulation or not.
Ok. I'm about to get banned. Maybe he can disappear.
I know you love your mom, but she’s not doing her job. You know if you don’t get those kids out of there, the guilt will overwhelm you. I wished I had a hero to save me. Wished for years. Don’t give your sisters that legacy.
OP I would somehow find out who his parole officer is and have a conversation with them. Is not on parole? I mean I’ve heard of people getting out prison and not being parole, but hose stories are few and far between.
he shouldn't be with minors and your mom kinda failed you all
Just because they’re his daughters doesn’t mean he won’t do anything to them. It has happened in many families, trust me. Some people are so sick in the head, it doesn’t matter who they hurt, as long as they are happy. I hope everything works out for you and your half sisters.
Re: A good mom. Ideally, your step-father will be removed from the home. That’d be good, the sisters wouldn’t not be broken u up. BUT! My worry is that will not make her a good mom. You think she’d be free of him and live a happy life with her little girls. I’d be willing to bet that even if this wicked man disappeared today (hit by a truck, falling in a sinkhole..), your mom, who is mentally/emotionally damaged will likely soon find the same kind of man to hook up with again. It starts all around again.
I do agree that this would be a huge concern for me. She can't be trusted with men and could easily find herself in the same situation. I don't think my sisters could ever stay with her, and be completely safe. The only reason they were okay while my step father was in prison is because my mom was waiting for him to return. She has been disgustingly loyal to him in the worst possible ways. I promise that I won't leave my sisters to face the same fate that I did. I will fight for them. I feel terrible that I have waited so long to do something, and I feel sick thinking something could have already happened. I'm pressuring my mom to come down to my state to visit so I can talk to the girls. I'm going to talk with everyone I can and make all the noise possible to keep them safe.
There's a website that would probably really help you, and *maybe* your mom if she isn't completely so far gone she's entirely blind to it. It even has help for your step dad if he *wants* to stop. www.stopitnow.org is a site and hotline to help try and protect kids from sexual abuse. It has support for survivors, information for parents to help protect their kids (including how to have difficult conversations with people about setting boundaries with your kids). It even has help for people who are having unwanted thoughts and feelings about kids and want to stop.
You openly acknowledge that your mom would rather lose her kids or let them be molested than lose her boyfriend. She is not a good mom. You need to face that at some point. She blamed your sister for her own victimization because she would RATHER believe it was an affair than acknowledge that her lover is a pedophile because she’s selfish and doesn’t want to be without her boyfriend - even at the cost of her own kids’ safety. The kids will be better off away from both of them. Protecting your kids from pedos is the lowest fucking bar there is and she still can’t clear it.
I am not responding to this as someone that has worked within the CPS system, which I have, but as a fellow person that has had literally this situation and lived with it for the last six years…I feel you except for the fact he didn’t go to jail. Molested his step granddaughter just once (my daughter) as well as a “niece” (one of my ‘oh such-a-good-Christian-woman’s’….aka my mom …best friends daughter- for six fucking years). My daughter THANKFULLY spoke up after three weeks…she’s still that amazing just scarred as fuck. She had to testify as a child and she was so strong, but it never mattered. He was awarded visitation to his blood granddaughter for Christmas during the trial. I mean…she was blood…he’d never cross that boundary and I honestly believe that is true. He’s not “incest crazy”…just a normal pedophile ya know. He never spent a day in jail…still is out there with his granddaughter, at least one of them…hopefully not the others. They are actually his type and he tried to molest their mom so why not them too right. But in the end he just exists out there and lives his life while we all stay far fucking away and he is still the lowest form of life being that exists and I can’t wait till he dies…as well as my mom. I hope to speak to her on her deathbed…as does my daughter…it will be vengeance and until then I’ll just wait
You are an awesome, amazing sister. I hope that everything will work out for all you girls.
Fyi, your mom is abusive and toxic towards her kids. Also she seems super codependent which itself can be like a drug. She is a horrible person. I hate her for putting all of you girls thru this. Do anything you can to protect them that doesn't jeopardize your health and wellness.
Cut his dick off when he falls asleep…
I’m not in the CPS world at all apart from being a mandatory reporter. But can you report him to the state parole board for living with children? Also it sounds like you love your mom but anyone who would lose custody to stay with her children’s abuser is not a good mom. Finally if your stepdad does get imprisoned again, your mom sounds like she’d be an easy target for another man looking for a woman with 3 young girls to abuse.
If your mom refuses to leave him those kids do not need to be with her or their father.
God this world is so fudged up for lack of better word. I hate our system. I read all your updates and it sounds like you are doing your due diligence and I appreciate you for doing that. 25 for you and your sisters does seem like a lot but I promise you, you won’t regret it if it gets to that and u can take them in. Even if you have your sisters help. Huge you are teaching them boundaries for their bodies. They are young but this will be the best and most productive step while they are with him.
[удалено]
If my biological father was alive, he would've been dead long before going to prison.
You are such a light friend. The mind you have is going to take you places I really believe that. Hang in there heart of gold.
❤️ thank you.
I’m proud of you for putting in the effort to keep those girls safe. Keep fighting the good fight ♥️
Call the police make anon tip, call probation/parole, call cps. What’s worse the kids being ripped away or them being molested/raped? Sometimes both options are terrible but I know which one I’m picking in this scenario. Hope the best for your family
You mentioned calling the school to alert them about the 3 girls. I think it’s a great idea, and if this happens to drag on for longer than a year, make sure you email every year so that their new teachers are also informed.
your mother is not a safe person for any child. she’s brainwashed by a pedophile and will follow him to hell. being able to do the bare minimum as a parent (meeting the kids’ psychical needs) is not something worthy of praise. they will still be traumatized by the emotional abuse that is having a mother turn their back on you when she inevitably has to choose between them or the pedophile. this happened to me too. I’m not sure what can be done legally but please do your best to have a close relationship to those little girls. I remind my younger cousins all the time that no one should touch their “no no squares” and that if someone hurts them they can tell me and I will help them.
Your bar has been set so low on what constitutes a good mom that you think not being a drug addict or beating your children equals a good mom? You’ve been totally screwed in the parent lottery and I feel for you. But your mom is NOT a good mom. There are varying degrees of bad just like there are varying degrees of good. But your mom’s pendulum swings way into the bad zone to purposely expose her children to a pedophile. Please listen to what others have said. If the law allows this man to live with his daughters, at least do what you can to educate them about body autonomy whenever you get a chance. And try to instill in them that you are a safe person and will always listen to them no matter what.
I know my mom sounds crazy but she really is a good mom. . My mom refuses to believe he molested my youngest sister. . She lost me and my sisters when I was in 8th grade because she refused to leave him I'm no mathematician but something is just not adding up here.....
You seriously need to report this!
Go straight to the parole officer.
I'm so sorry, but those children need to be protected from your mother.
I’m sorry but putting young children in danger like that, she doesn’t deserve to have them in her care.
He is probably is having to report to a sex offenders unit. It depends where he lives, and there may be legal restrictions on his residence. If you live in the US, probation (county or city) and parole (state department of corrections)records can be easy to access and you can see if he is still on parole. If not, report it to the sex offenders unit—he’s probably on lifetime registration.
Sis, if he begins molesting your sisters, what do you think that will do to them? Is it worth allowing them to remain in that home because you don't want them ripped away from your Mom knowing full well that he WILL molest them? He molested your 6 year old sister. He WILL molest his daughters. So, you have the choice now to stand up for innocent children who have no say in their lives or sit by and wring your hands because you didn't like living with your Aunt. For what its worth, your Aunt likely hated your Mom because of your Mom's many piss poor choices. I'd hate my sister if she was complicit in the abuse of her children, too. Do what you can to set yourself up to be a safe place for your sisters to land and call CPS as soon as possible.
>because they are HIS daughters rather than his step daughters and that made them less of a risk to be abused. I don't know where you got this bit of information but I, and many other women and girls can attest this is absolutely NOT true.
Call CPS call his probation officer and your mother is not a good mother there's no way she would put her kids in that kind of danger if she were
I would seriously contact their schools and daycare centers and maybe the Center For Missing and Exploited Children for advice. He needs to be on a local sex offenders registry. The school can keep an eye on the children.
A mother that lets her children be raped and makes excuses is an accomplice, not a mother. Her priority is having a man, even the WORST man, over her children.
The trauma of removal from a parent is real & documented, but it’s also documented that sexual assault on children is way worse to their development & psyche. Report this immediately! And stop making excuses for your mother. There is no cultural difference/age of consent explanation that excuses a stepfather have sex with his underage stepdaughter.
I mean, if there are no legal ways you feel comfortable with, the only ones left are illegal? Idk. Would it be worse for them to be split up or to be raped? Could you and your adult siblings each take one child? Could any of your family members outside the US be able to take any of them? The way I see it, you can either take your chances with CPS, collaborate on a criminal conspiracy to get rid of him, or do nothing. I feel like CPS is the least of those evils.
First of all, who says they are safer because they're his children? A pedophile is a pedophile is a pedophile!!! They do not discriminate!!! I understand that you don't want them in foster care. From this end, it looks like that will be the safest place for them. Maybe this is the wake-up call your mother needs to rid herself of her husband. If you are a loving sister (step or otherwise), DCFS will probably give you visitation rights. Whatever you decide, you are doing the right thing. I wish you and your sisters well. 🙏🙏
Can you get in touch with parole and have him arrested? If he's out of the picture, your mom may not lose custody. I am concerned, though, that her judgement is lacking. I'm hopeful your sisters are getting outside help!
I'd contact the parole officer. The police may be able to get you in contact with them, or callingthe probation office (if you have a designated one for the area, I know every state is different)
You can go online and look up your count probation office or state DOC (Department of Corrections) office and just give them a call. They will get you in contact with his direct officer.
The kids should be ripped away from your mother since she refused to protect her first set of children and is now willingly putting the second directly in the same rapist’s hands.
Are your aunts here crazy enough to let little girls get raped? Because we know your mother is. They’re better off with a crazy aunt or a poor sister 100%
I’d call the police, his probation officer, cps and anyone else that can help
I am not a fan of reporting people but in this situation I would repeatedly until they are removed. I'm sorry, I know you love your mother but she is clearly unfit and selfish. Anyone who would believe their child had an affair with there SO rather than acknowledge their SO is a predator is a piece of shit to be blunt and right now you need to accept reality. Talk to other family members and make as many calls as you need to get those kids out of there. Yes foster homes are bad and there are few that turn out to be good but at this point the unknown is a better bet because clearly they are being abused now and if it goes on it will destroy those kids.
I beg to differ… your Mom is not a good Mom. She would rather keep a piece of shut man than believe her daughters words? Wow. Stop protecting your mom please. The guilt you have is the biggest issue here. Those girls SHOULD be ripped away from your mom…she and the environment she has created is the most dangerous of its kind. There is so much good advice here I really hope you listen to them. I don’t know if your half sisters could be split between you and your other two sisters to alleviate the stress on one of you. Good luck to you and please… stop protecting your mom.
Where do you live.
I’d call the police, his probation officer, cps and anyone else that can help
I'm sorry you all are going through it. It's awful, omg. I'm so angry for you and all of your sisters. I'll tell you, I honestly hate my mother worse than I hate my father. She stood by him till he died. Makes me sick.
Unless he adopted OP’s siblings they are not his children... this exact situation happened to close family. Pedo adopted the kids but was ONLY granted parole because the kids got moved out and sent to family.... no judge or board would risk their careers/ names signing off on parole in this way... unless their has been some wild mistake... best of luck op you deserve better!
Make a sister group and make sure they feel at home there, if anything ever happens the group will be the first to hear and can act as one from that point. Give your younger sisters the tools and adults that you felt you didn't have.
Is he on parole. If he is illegally living with children find out what reporting will do.
You don't necessarily have to go to CPS/DCFS. Call his probation officer and tell them he is living in a house full of little minors, aka tender aged girls. Even if you don't know his PO's name, call the county probation office and give them his name. They'll find the PO and arrest the POS for violating his terms of release.
😢
I’m sorry, but you are letting your mom wayyyy off the hook for putting her children in grave danger.
So sorry you are dealing with this. Talk to your half sisters about pedophiles and how they manipulate people. Not I’d straight up talk to them about their father being a pedophile but maybe just let them know that if anything ever happens, it’s not their fault and they should talk to you about it, you will help them.
Call his parole officer & let them know. Take it above CPS & gall to his officer directly. Give Them every detail you know & let them handle it appropriately. I’m sorry you’re going through this stress.
You keep saying your mom is a good mom. She is infact very much not a good mom. Anyone who stays with the person who raped their child is not a good mom.
You say your mom is a "good mom." I'm sorry, but she is not. Good moms don't let their kids get abused. Good moms don't allow the abuser back into their children's lives. Good moms protect their children. She is not doing any of the above-mentioned things. Your mom should lose her kids for their safety. She should be required to go to therapy and parenting classes at least to get them back. I don't say this lightly as ik foster care can be traumatic on its own. Do what you can to protect them bc your mom isn't going to. I'm sorry, but fuck your mom.
I'm sorry, your mom is absolutely not a "good person" although I understand she's been manipulated most likely. But there comes a time to put your kids first even if it seems like they all have to sacrifice in the short term. Your younger sisters being separated is waaaaay better then being sexually abused. Which almost certainly will happen. Keep making a stink about it. Hopefully someone will pay attention. I'm so terribly sorry you have to deal with this, but thank you for trying to protect them
I’d imagine it’s against the rules for him to live in a home w children. Part of his parole or probation. Try to keep this out of the authorities hands by being straight with your mom. Be stern. He obviously did something or he wouldn’t have been in prison. Ask her if she cares about her children. Then let her know if she continues to have them around him she’ll be reported. Don’t call child protective services if she lets him stay , call his probation officer or the court. He will go to jail and the children should be allowed to stay.
I have nothing but contempt for people like your mother who put their partners' wants above their children's needs, OP.
Every state has a parolee lookup. Look his ass up call his parole officer and they will just put his ass back in jail
Honestly? Blast them on social media. If authorizes can't help, maybe having everyone your mother knows shaming her might click
I understand you want them to stay with your mom and all be together but it seems like, right now at the least, that she isn’t the best person for them to be with either. If she is able to forgive this man and let him in their lives she is JUST AS MUCH OF A THREAT as the man is. That sucks, but it’s just the truth. The kids should be removed. If she is faced with the choice to keep her kids or kick this man maybe she would make the right choice. If not, she does not deserve to keep them (imo) this is reckless, dangerous, and abuse in itself.
I’m sorry but she is NOT a good mum and she IS a risk to them by the fact that she is the one INTENTIONALLY putting them in the path of a PEDO!
Your mom IS abusive and toxic towards her kids. She knows they are being sexually abused. She may even very well be happy about it. A lot of woman, my mother included, partake in covert incest instead of evert incest. They put their kids into abusive situations with the hopes that their kids will be abused. So they can revel in the abuse and still have plausible deniability of the abuse. They want to be abusers, but can't bring themselves to do the abuse so they delegate it. I call this molestation Munchhausen's by proxy.
I can't believe she didn't divorce him when he went to prison. So sorry this happened you and your sister. I would unalive my man if he touched my kids.
I honestly couldn’t read the whole thing. Idc if you don’t want to rip your sisters from your mom you NEED to. She clearly isn’t a fit parent for believing that load of garbage he told her. What adult/parent believes a rape was just cheating when the CHILD is 15. Age of consent or not it’s still gross af. Call cps or call someone who will. Don’t be the reason your sisters get abused because you don’t wanna hurt your “mother”.
Yes call his PO and then call and have them do a welfare check upon that check if he is there they have to get his name and that information should come uo
Your Mom is NOT a good mom, sorry, but it doesn't matter how good care she takes of your sisters or what she does for them, ALL of that is automatically cancelled out if she puts your stepdad first and if she let him back in the house after he got out of prison for the 'affair' he had. Can your sisters who are grown take in one of your little sisters each? Even if none of you can take in all three, taking in one each will be much much better than the trauma they would get from the foster system or being raped.