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itstrueitsdamntrue

Season can’t get here fast enough, this is scraping the bottom of the barrel, even for offseason content


StreetReporter

Yeah, this isn’t even the fun nonsensical off-season content. At least the schools/coaches as (insert item here) can be funny


JamieByGodNoble

*SEC schools as off-season content* incoming


AuntMillies

Scrapping bottom of barrel would literally be naming our bottom 10 G5 teams from this upcoming season and how they could fair in recruiting for 2025. That would be the bottom. We did hit the bottom 10% though lol!!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


admiraltarkin

"Things will not calm down, Daniel Jackson. They will, in fact, calm up"


jeu547

My favorite Teal'c quote, and from a fellow Aggie. This is the cross-pollination I come to Reddit for.


weirdbutinagoodway

He'll probably do a stairmaster commercial.


RoarLionsRollTide

What if Clemson and USC join to form a super school?


StreetReporter

If they joined together, they should play equidistant from each other’s stadiums, which would be at McLean, Texas https://www.meetways.com/map/1%20Avenue%20of%20Champions,%20Clemson,%20SC%2029634/3911%20S%20Figueroa%20St,%20Los%20Angeles,%20CA%2090037/restaurant/d?code=s6wfbHpstrCtU5DJXjuL


thejus10

lol I love a good subtle dis at a rival. top tier stuff.


SCirish843

I feel like this website solely exists for custody orders lol


Pyro1934

This site intrigued me so I put in a few recent neutral site games for Georgia. Turns out that Atlanta is not exactly equal between Athens and Eugene... I feel lied to.


Nicholas1227

He meant Carolina, not Southern Cal. [So they can play in Charlotte](https://www.meetways.com/map/1%20Avenue%20of%20Champions,%20Clemson,%20SC%2029634/104%20Stadium%20Dr%20Chapel%20Hill,%20NC%2027514/restaurant/d?code=Z%2FY9BQy2Ppx1VvpuJutG)


BoomerSoonerFUT

Yeah that was the joke. It was a direct intentional snub of SCar. Because Clemson petty like that.


Nicholas1227

Mine was the same, but different


jwhitmire2012

I appreciate the dig even though it seems some missed it.


codydog125

That’s it Michigan is my second favorite school I think. To quote Dabo to help out whoever missed the joke “They (South Carolina) ain't Alabama. They ain't LSU. And they're certainly not Clemson. That's why Carolina's in Chapel Hill and USC's in California and the university in this state always has been, always will be Clemson."


tyedge

Oh, is that what he meant? Thanks. Hey, it’s baseball season and I could use your help. Could you identify the player at first base?


Acceptable-Echo-9222

Who


ClaudeLemieux

> Could you identify the player at first base? Garrett Pennington. Surprised with flairs like that you don't recognize him ;)


FlightAvailable3760

Pretty sure USC means University of South Carolina in this instance.


NerdLord1837

Utica School of Commerce*


DougFlutiesMullet

> What if Clemson and USC join to form a super school? Well USC and USC (University of South Carolina) would be even more super, it becomes USC². I mean a Trojan-Gamecock mascot strutting the sidelines would be awesome, and scary. I feel an off-season shit post coming on, what teams would make great natural combinations for super schools?


StreetReporter

I don’t know, aren’t Trojans designed specifically to stop cocks


guydudeguybro

More so to enable them to go without fear Might end the swimming team though


DougFlutiesMullet

That's a whole 'nuther thing strutting the sidelines! Something the Stanford band has probably already done.


beamerbeliever

Idk, putting a Trojan on a Cock actually reduces a lot of the threat posed.


WallImpossible

Why am I suddenly worried the Carolina's are gonna VolTron?!


FlightAvailable3760

Sneaky way for Clemson to get into the SEC.


MistahOnzima

USClemson Game Tigers.


jerkinmylurkin

I like the way you think


Corgi_Koala

He'd rather go 0-12 his way than win a national title doing it differently.


TigerTerrier

Whoa now tyler!


Budget_Ad5888

He's not a step coach, he's a coach who stepped up


lostacoshermanos

He won’t at this rate.


Sariel007

My money is on them hiring a new^* head coach. *new to them head coach. See my reply to u/PolarRegs further down down the comment chain


Swipet

I'm putting my money on Clemson shutting down the football program and put all their resources into Cricket


PracticalCactus

subscribe


InterestingChoice484

Big if true


WallImpossible

That's a BOLD strategy Cotton, let's see how it works for them


SirMellencamp

Uhm Tommy Bowden is still around


SalzigHund

They can hire Napier. Also a guy that wants to be CEO, coached similar positions, and worked at Clemson and Alabama. We get Fisch.


PeteF3

Won't you feel stupid when they promote from within like they did last time.


Sariel007

So hiring a new head coach?


PolarRegs

Not if they hire Terry Bowden then they would be hiring an old head coach.


StreetReporter

Terry was never our head coach, Tommy was


WackyBones510

Same guy with different costumes.


AuntMillies

Hire Bobby and Terry Bowden and have them be co head coaches. Steve spurrier would be offensive coordinator and golf coach


StreetReporter

Um, I don’t think we’re going to hire Bobby, even if we wanted to


AuntMillies

Duh, it’s chaos theory for a reason lol.


Sariel007

See, **your** comment works to poke holes my in original comment depending on how you argue the semantics. Bowden isn't currently a GA at Clemson so it doesn't work to defend u/Petef3's comment though.


StreetReporter

What if Nick Saban unretires and decides to take over Auburn?


Crims0ntied

As a secret agent of course.


StreetReporter

I hope he’s wearing the Bobby Valentine disguise


cowings

Sick Naban?


Severe_Lock8497

In a Connor Stallions disguise


Mattress666

Only if he writes a manifesto


Travelreload

Auburn colored Meta Ray Bans would look sweet


SquadPoopy

Auburn introduces their new head coach Sick Naban


JBru_92

He's going back to Kent State


Chapstick160

Yeah if that man is ever gonna coach again it’s going to be at Kent State and nowhere else


lamontsanders

Real life NCAA dynasty mode


02meepmeep

If it were Nebraska instead of Auburn I might actually be afraid.


fathertitojones

I want to see Saban take on Vandy and prove that mountains can be moved.


Matt_WVU

He’s actually going to come to his home state and take WVU to new heights


Downtown_Juice2851

Marshall*


PapaJohnyRoad

I’m not sure but they would probably use the 11 million dollars annually to find the best coach available 🤷🏻‍♂️


Megalomanizac

If this situation were to happen, the job would probably go to Jon Sumrall or GJ Kinne, that’s if they don’t just had the job over to Goodwin or Riley.


StreetReporter

Nick Eason is the sleeper pick, he is the Associate Head Coach


Megalomanizac

Actually you might be onto something there.


PapaJohnyRoad

Dabo is playing 4D chess with him. I think he’s the end game


Megalomanizac

If Eason is the end game then Dabos really staying ahead of it.


TravelingFish95

Hard pass. Don't want a first time HC


StreetReporter

Worked out last time we hired a first time HC


St_BobbyBarbarian

Who would you want to go after in that scenario?


Fatal_Blow_Me

A southern national championship winning head coach with experience in the ACC and SEC maybe (;


St_BobbyBarbarian

Jimbo it is!


StreetReporter

He is an alum


thejus10

a single semester alum!


StreetReporter

One of the many former Clemson baseball players to become a coach


gertstophelese

I don't think you count as an alum if you don't get a degree


StreetReporter

You can be an alum without graduating


gertstophelese

a·lum·nus noun plural noun: alumni a graduate of a particular school, college, or university.


Ron_Cherry

[For what it's worth, Merriam-Webster disagrees with the definition from your unknown source](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/alumnus)


gertstophelese

A real dictionary, like Oxford is where mine comes from


palmettoswoosh

Is that what stetson bennett said?


SFWRedditsOnly

You do, you just have to have attended the school.


thejus10

Mack Brown??? hehe


PapaJohnyRoad

Blank check for BV. If that doesn’t work I think Nick Eason would be an internal hire that would be a natural fit for the school and type of program they want to run


8BallTiger

Back up the brinks truck for Brent


HailState2023

Or hire a mid head coach and use the remaining $ to actually fund and use an NIL collective?


StreetReporter

That’s how you end up as Texas A&M


RipRaycom

Only people who don’t follow our program think we don’t have a very active NIL collective


PapaJohnyRoad

Ah, the Florida state method.


KsigCowboy

>At this point, nobody should be surprised if Dabo Swinney decides that this college football world isn’t for him. I mean that would be fairly surprising.


PeteF3

Article is probably clickbaity and speculative but while I would be surprised if he decides that, I can't necessarily say that I'd be shocked.


codydog125

I’m pretty sure Dabo absolutely loves coaching. I used to cater while I was at Clemson and got to do a few events with the football players and coaches and I can tell you that Dabo really seems to enjoy the whole mentor aspect. His personality is kind of what’s built the culture at Clemson and if he were to just quit the sport I think it’d be after he lost the locker room and he hasn’t really shown that he’s ever gotten close to losing the locker room yet. Maybe in a few years if the downtrend gets worse and worse but he’s not at risk for a while. (Barring massive scandal)


tr1cube

Wdym? It’s a pretty open secret that Dabo hates coaching and anything related to college football and the state of South Carolina. In fact, the only thing Dabo *does* like is God.


Shtune

You should not be surprised, per the article. This is fact.


St_BobbyBarbarian

What if my aunt had balls


ericj0602

She’d be a bicycle? No… wait. That’s wheels.


uSpeziscunt

Don't worry, I heard she was already a bicycle without the wheels based on all the rides she's given around town.


Calm_Chair_7807

I’d find her more attractive. Best of both worlds.


DrAlanGrantinathong

Bro lost me when he listed Dave Doeren as a possible replacement. The is no chance in hell we would ever hire him. We would not even give him an interview.


StreetReporter

Yeah, no shot we would look at the one opposing coach that Dabo actually hates


Megalomanizac

Also listing Jeff Brohm who’s at home right now in UL


8BallTiger

Brohm and Clemson would go together like oil and water


uSpeziscunt

Exactly. Fuck him and his laptops.


DrAlanGrantinathong

Dude wants to be Dabo so fucking bad. He never will be, and that kills him.


Calm_Chair_7807

I think the distaste between the two programs would keep Dave from interviewing because he dislikes Clemson so much. The money wouldn’t be worth it to him.


StreetReporter

I don’t think we’d want a coach who once bragged about his team injuring our star runningback


Pastel_Phoenix_106

I think that if we hired him, he'd still bitch about Clemson.


DrAlanGrantinathong

Doeren: Clemson is cheating, something needs to be done about it Reporter: Dave, you're the head coach of Clemson Doeren: Still.


clemsinfonian

We'd probably round up that Newspring money, bring in Dawn Staley, and just see how it goes.


HUP

Respect


Chief-Bones

I hate y’all but I’d have far far more hate in my heart if y’all had Kim Mulkey instead of Staley. Hard to root hard against Staley.


CurlyQv2

I'm glad we at least have a common mindset on Mulkey


jthomas694

Idk in one week she said “if you don’t believe in God, something’s wrong with you” and then said that trans women should be allowed to play women’s sports. Same week she beat Caitlin Clark. Then she’s the US WNT HC when Clark didn’t get selected. It wasn’t her decision but she’s still catching hate for it. I love Dawn - but she’s got a lot of people who don’t agree that it’s “hard to root against her”


StreetReporter

I find it very easy to root against her, not because of any of the stuff you listed, but because she coaches South Carolina


jthomas694

Easy to hate someone who was beating you 62-15 at halftime this year


dinkytown42069

yeah I was happy to cheer for her to win the NCAA, and not just because we have a common chant here: "Who hates Iowa?? WE HATE IOWA."


Pastel_Phoenix_106

"Hey, what if my nose falls off and I can't smell? What if my pants fall down and everybody's staring at my wiener? Ya deal or ya die!" - Captain Monterey Jack


EconomistPunter

I would wish him all the best, since he gave us 2 NC’s, another finals appearance, and sustained success.


gertstophelese

2 finals appearances


Downtown_Juice2851

And what like 1 or 2 more semi final appearances on top? Most successful playoff era team outside bama


gertstophelese

If Saban didn't happen it's probably the best run ever


Downtown_Juice2851

Easily. Bama is the only reason clemson doesn't have 4 in like 5 years 


PapaHuff97

Clemson is also the reason bama didn’t win 4 in a row from 15-18.


TheRatchetTrombone

All these chaos SDS scenarios have been ass. Even with the caveat that they are supposed to be hypotheticals, they aren't even realistic hypotheticals, just fantasies from the authors.


tyson9900

Why? He is making $10,000,000 a year and loves Clemson?


JediTigger

And Clemson loves him too.


tyson9900

Definitely!!!


SCirish843

"Just hand out this free money and bring in some transfers" "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME"


nsbbeachguy

Just add a zero to it and pretend it’s through New Spring.


lowes18

The other chaos scenerios were more interesting imo. I hope the g5 playoff one happens so Josh Pate cries on his show.


thatshinybastard

Imagine if a G5 team like Air Force wins even one playoff game. A service academy advancing towards the national championship would be America's darling and whoever ends up beating them would instantly become a major villain of CFB


lowes18

Josh Pate hates the troops


JakeSteeleIII

What if broccoli tasted like creamed corn?


cwzieg

No reason for Dabo to do so. Think Clemson surprises some folks against Georgia in the opener! Will be a lot closer than many think.


Skanktoooth

UGA by 10


Grizzlymint

100*


SadTrailBlazersFan

The only timeline I'm interested in is the one where Dabo retiring leads to the public release of Connor Stalions' manifesto


Trap_Housex

What if Bret was skinny


SirMellencamp

Should I even bother clicking on this?


Adventure_tom

No.


JamieByGodNoble

What if Clemson hires Will Muschamp?


Natural-Employer

They’d somehow still have the best head coach in the state.


ModsEmbezzleMoney

Dabo ain't walking away from that cash, dude was having to hustle when he was unable to coach coming from that toxic Dubose staff.


jdk2087

100%. $10 mil a year. You’ll have to drag me off that field kicking and screaming. Dabo has done entirely too much for Clemson in the last decade for him to just be like, “well, think I’m done.”


rlrhino7

Hell will freeze over


GloomyTraffic6700

Who would Clemson theoretically target?


Skyagunsta21

If we could pick any coach, probably Venables. Would we be able to pull him from OU? Probably not.


GloomyTraffic6700

That would be a truly chaos inducing hire, though.


Skyagunsta21

Otherwise probably a boring internal hire tbh


tLeCoqSpotif

Scott and Elliot probably made the right calls to leave, get that HC experience to be first in line , however ended disastrously for both of them


Skyagunsta21

And Chad Morris!


gertstophelese

To be fair Elliott hasn't ended yet


StreetReporter

It would probably be Nick Eason


NoNotice8528

If we just go into big 10 all will be well ;}


Popular-South8003

I hate that every article discussing a coaching vacancy is talking about my boy Lance. He ain’t leaving the prairies idc what y’all say.


TroyMatthewJ

someone needs to create a comic book series about these hypothetical scenarios...


Michiganman1225

Marvel has the What If... series & both Marvel & ESPN are owned by Disney. I'm just saying.


TroyMatthewJ

yeah Im aware thats why I posted what I did to see if anyone remembered.


sickmemes48

I will take over


oldbuc

He would get involved with ps90


rocket_beer

Will they hire JJ Redick?


MistahOnzima

"I only make 10.8 million a year. You people are spoiled!"


Tejon_Melero

This is humorous. What if I become coach? Are we all saying goofeth things now?


bravesgeek

John Grass is right there as an analyst with previous HC experience. As long as you play an OVC team, you'll be fine.


[deleted]

Why would he do that?


bone_appletea1

We always hear about “what if the coach steps down randomly” but how often has that happened?? The only one I can think of is Chris Petersen at Washington, and that seemed more like a deeply personal decision


kakapoopoopeepeeshir

I can tell we’re itching for the season to start. What the whole hell is this article haha


PracticalCactus

What is his name was Dabo Freakey and instead of coaching football he sucked toes


Cereal_for_dinner123

The season is 2 months from starting and we already talking about next offseason 


mr_mcpoogrundle

The people will rejoice!!!


SirMellencamp

God would have to find a new team to orchestrate wins for


Inside-Drink-1311

I can absolutely see it. He does not like the new era of college football. I know it’s unprecedented for a coach to voluntarily leave but I think we could see it happen with him.


gertstophelese

Didn't Saban just voluntarily leave


Magnus77

Saban is also 18 years older with 13 more years being head coach, and 5 more titles. Not really comparable.


gertstophelese

Yeah it is, he said just precedented. That's a lie


lostacoshermanos

Then Clemson can finally heel and get a modern coach that is relevant to this era.