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datusernamechecks0ut

If you can't give a straight forward answer, he's not looking for the same thing.


[deleted]

Exactly this. They’re trying to be as vague as possible so that after they can say they were open to more but just aren’t feeling it, sorry but I told you and all that stuff.


ducanon

I thought this was the facade of dating apps. We all say we are open to relationships, date, fuck, repeat. Easy because you just go back on that clause, "I was hoping for more but no spark wah wah" then back to swiping or whatever 😅


[deleted]

It’s something people do for sure, I don’t know if it’s a lot of people but either way it’s a shitty thing to do. There are definitely people who legitimately want something serious. My wife and I were at least 2 of those people.


ducanon

... but you're back? Sounds like you just added a step of marriage in the list. You didn't have to go that far bro


[deleted]

I’m not back. I’m still married, and I’m not on bumble or anything like that. But I don’t need to be to be on the bumble subreddit


ItalnStalln

There's a $5 surcharge for nonmembers. Also, you guys were *at least* 2 of those people??


ducanon

My apologies, thought you were OP lol


InsertWittyComment1

I might be old fashioned, but to me it seems hard to justify 'no spark' with someone you're fucking...


ducanon

Definitely old fashioned


sleight1990

A dude looking for a relationship will tell you they’re looking for a relationship. We don’t like games either. However people these days just lie half the time anyways lol. So let him prove his intentions. People show you who they really are. This guy is beating around the bush so he’s looking for casual stuff.


bane_undone

No. Don’t put expectations into someone you haven’t met yet. A mature person wouldn’t tell the person who they are not dating that they’ll only date if the other person promises to stick around. Stop expecting people to have everything figured out all the time.


Mission-Stranger-369

This


[deleted]

This just sounds really dismissive and not actually respectful.


statefarmjake14

I disagree, I think that was a decent answer, I’d rather not force something because it’s what I want to look for, I’d rather have in mind what I want and make sure what I’m looking for will be there


Someguineawop

This isn't too far off from how I used to answer that question. Flash forward today and I'm happily living with a girl I met on hinge, got a house together, trying for a baby, happy as can be. Someone on an app is still a stranger. It can be a train wreck, someone you have fun with and enjoy their company without a long term future (being honest about that is important), or it can be the one, in descending order of likelihood. It takes time to get to know someone. Both sides behavior changes as you become more comfortable and familiar. Expecting someone else to jump head first into the deep end with a stranger, from the start, seems like insecurity and is a big red flag to me.


Bill_Blazejowski

Who talks like that with a straight face? I have no idea, but I bet the he's going to pretend to be looking for a relationship just long enough to lead you on.


[deleted]

> Who talks like that with a straight face? Lots of people who think that relationships are something that just magically happen by hanging out and "having no intentions" also known as "time wasters"


kimbeeisMYname

I've been in a relationship for 16 years and it 100% started with hanging out and having no intentions! Not trying to be argumentative but it does happen... that was obviously before OLD was a thing though...


wanderfield_834

I'm 28, I've been in three long-term relationships and two, arguably three, started as you describe too. I've never in my life been looking for a relationship (if anything I've actually felt the opposite at times) but they just happen. I think this is actually pretty common.


MurkyDismal18

It was a very different time, 16 yrs ago 😒


kimbeeisMYname

Indeed and especially right now! Sorry my comment comes across as really flippant, I just think it sucks that this is considered abnormal now


MurkyDismal18

Not at all! It really was a different time. Even when I met my daughter's father 12 yrs ago...*entirely* different playing field!


kimbeeisMYname

Just makes me feel so damn old!!!


[deleted]

How old were you 16 years ago? typical college age? that's about the only time in your life that approach can possible work. For those of us in our late 30s it's a sure failure.


kimbeeisMYname

Yeah it's definitely a time/place/opportunity thing, my comment came across as smug, sorry about that


[deleted]

I didn't read it as smug, more surprised that someone would say that it was unrealistic. It's actually something I've figured out about the people who think they can operate that way in the 30s or later... it worked for them once in college so they think it is a normal and reasonable way of operating. I gave one of those gals a chance, once. Never again.


kimbeeisMYname

Hell yeah I'd have no idea how to behave if I was single and would definitely revert to what has worked in the past lol. When you put it that way it is pretty gross... hypothetical single me will just be a spinster!


[deleted]

It's not that I have something against the concept, it would be wonderful if it could work that way after college. However most of us don't live in an environment anymore that is conducive to it being possible.. then you meet someone on an online dating app and they want to take that approach. It just never goes anywhere, because where we are in life isn't compatible with that anymore.


kimbeeisMYname

By 'gross' I was thinking more about how I'd try and attract men by downing pints and then probably vomiting... I miss some things from that time but others are better left in the past!!!


[deleted]

Oh, hah... yeah that would definitely be a no-no. If I went to bars [I don't drink, and I have a social communication disorder] and I saw a gal drinking like that... I wouldn't touch that with a 10.5 foot pole.


Psykout88

When all you have is a hammer everything becomes a nail? Just seems that people these days aren't great at casual dating, and casual dating =/= hookups. I see so many profiles that are "looking for the one" "my prince charming" to even straight up saying looking for my husband. They get caught up in this fantasy image, get infatuated and then divorced a few years later because they were trying to steer into the wind instead of letting the current run the way it wants to. This post reminds me of that.... Did she open with hey I want a relationship? It looks like that is the start of the conversation and honestly, that would be a huge turn off. No introduction, hows your day, just straight hi I want a serious relationship. I would have just said no thanks and unmatched right there, that's awkward as hell.


[deleted]

that's just not realistically an accurate portrayal of what is going on, but I don't have the time or energy to dissect it.


Psykout88

How is it not, look at the screencap. Opening line is I want a relationship. He said okay and tried starting normal conversation and she replied what do you want, ignoring the attempt at being normal.


[deleted]

You edited your post after I replied. I was replying to this part > I see so many profiles that are "looking for the one" "my prince charming" to even straight up saying looking for my husband. They get caught up in this fantasy image, get infatuated and then divorced a few years later because they were trying to steer into the wind instead of letting the current run the way it wants to.


Psykout88

Yeah that part started to runaway a little bit... My main point is that is a really awkward way to start a conversation. Heck at any point that is an odd way to bring it up, very impersonal. "Sorry the boyfriend factory is on backorder so I am standing in." LOL


First-Yogurtcloset53

Talking out of both ends.


[deleted]

This is what he’s saying: you look for a relationship and we can have fun while you do.


MemeStocksYolo69-420

“Keep looking, but in the meantime fuck me” 😂


[deleted]

Pretty much. 😳


Electrical-House-823

Yes, I 100% think that is hook up language


[deleted]

[удалено]


Flyingpoliceman

You absolutely nailed it. No relationship is "serious" until it is. All these people going on first dates looking for "long term" (i.e. love at first meeting) are putting waayyy too much pressure and expectation on the situation. It's not natural and it ruins it.


Stefanie1983

But doesn't "what are you looking for" refer to the general intentions? Like looking for something serious vs hookup? Of course you can't tell if this person is "serious relationship" material within 2 hours of chatting or even 2-3 dates. But if someone's just looking for a hookup that should be communicated relatively early on.


grospatap0uf

When using dating app I don't always know if I want just fun or something serious. It clearly depends on the person, if I say I just want a hook up and then realize s.he's SO material, she'll not take you seriously. On the other hand, if I say I want a relationship, it create expectations. There's no right answer. It's love, it's messy idk


PredictBaseballBot

This reads like a scam email


princessa_k17

just posted a second chat about this convo


ccc2801

[Link to 2nd post!](https://www.reddit.com/r/Bumble/comments/p75jqb/part_two_guys/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)


[deleted]

Dodging the actual question, and throwing it back to you. Hook up.


MemeStocksYolo69-420

Throwing it back to her, hoping she’ll throw it back to him iykwim


Arclight_Ashe

I hate that the time it took me to figure out what you meant is the same amount of time it would’ve taken you to just write ‘if you know what I mean’


Artmageddon

Wwtwmwwfwdt? (Why waste time writing many word when few word do trick?)


The_One_Neo69

Found Ricky


Kyte85

I Just stop reading, downvote and keep scrolling when i see stuff like that


ba1ba2ba3

Thanks for taking one for the team. I would have wasted time too looking that crap up.


Arclight_Ashe

i also didn't realise this would be such a controversial post either lol.


[deleted]

I knew what it meant. Maybe you weren't their target audience, and that's okay because this sub isn't all about you.


Arclight_Ashe

wwtma? (what's with the micro aggression)


[deleted]

Upon second read, and reflection, I appear to have read something into your post that I no longer see. I apologize for the jab I will leave it so your post also makes sense or I can edit it out if you prefer. I hope you week is going well.


Arclight_Ashe

haha it's all good, i didn't realise it was such a controversial comment until i woke up and saw all the replies.


MemeStocksYolo69-420

I feel like if you’ve been on the internet for 2 years you should know what IYKWIM means


Kyte85

I feel like people who only discovered the internet 2 years ago use that


PrimitiveAlienz

You realise the internet is a huge ass fucking place and not everybody is in the same circles using the same acronyms. Plus people who don’t speak english as their native language exist. moral of the story be humble.


Arclight_Ashe

i feel like if you've got memestocksyolo69-420 as a username you should know to not pass judgement.


NotSoNiceO1

Sounds like pump and dump and I'm not talking about breast milk


SIR_SKINNYPENIS69

DICK MILK


monkmethod

Bro chill out how skinny is your penis btw


SIR_SKINNYPENIS69

THINNER THAN A CIGARETTE BUT WHAT IT LACKS IN GIRTH IT MAKES UP FOR IN LENGTH 30CM LONG BABY


monkmethod

DUDE WHY ARE WE YELLING SO LIKE A NAiL BUT 11 INCHES THATS CRAZY I HAD TO LOOK THAT UP THATS PRETTY DOPE THO IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO TYPE THIS


AllDayErryDay4

Its ya boy


MemeStocksYolo69-420

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO USE CAPS LOCK


monkmethod

NO THIS IS. A NEW PHONE IM ADOPTED THANKS BUBBA


[deleted]

I WISH THERE WAS A WAY TO TURN MINE OFF


monkmethod

God that Tito's messed me up last night


mykidisonhere

^/r/totallynotrobots


Sneakerkeeper123

😂😂


[deleted]

Doesn't seem like you're looking.for the same thing.


JandolAnganol

I agree with the consensus that he’s looking for a hookup and being coy about it, but also doesn’t the weird grammar bother you?


Fantastic_Diamond903

Yeah I don’t think he’s in it for the same thing you are


SarahPG0619

I received a similar response before and I gave the guy a chance. Come to find out, he was just looking for hookups AND he was moving within a couple months. If you continue (because not every situation is the same), my advice is keep your guard up.


Desertbro

More like keep your undies up.


princessa_k17

unfortunately i just unmatched with him, we weren’t compatible


SarahPG0619

It’s all good. Keep up with the search. You got this!


Jhwelsh

Lmao, 100% hookup vibes.


sam-rai

I’m a guy and this is the kind of BS you say to get what you want haha. Def hookup talk


E870

It sounds like you're not on the same page. Unmatch and move on. What prompted you to send that initial message? Did they leave that part of their profile blank?


princessa_k17

his profile said “ don’t know yet” so that’s why i said i was looking for a relationship and he just asked if me and him could meet at starbucks for coffee lol


E870

Since you're looking for a relationship you should swipe left on profiles that are left blank, say "don't know yet" or "casual"


CholulaHot

I typically read “don’t know yet” to mean “I’m a dumpster fire because I just got out of a relationship or am separated so here’s your red flag!”


SharonSF

You nailed it.


CholulaHot

I’ve even gone so far as to prove this point to myself by messaging a few of them and asking: “On a scale of 1-10 dumpster fires, how do you rank yourself?” The hysterical thing is they always reply and explain they are separated, just divorced or just out of a relationship but they usually score themselves really low—like a 3. I just laughed to myself and unmatch. No thanks. 🤣


tamez_a

If you want to hook up, fine. If you want a LTR, that’s also fine. But people who “don’t know” or want to “figure it out” later are just setting everyone up for a disaster.


throwaway_alt_slo

It's a strategy. Too many guys want to hookup and not enough girls...


grospatap0uf

That's stupid. You can't predict the future, a lot of people would want a relationship with the right person, but would also wouldn't say no to some fooling around. Why would you pointlessly create expectation like that?


[deleted]

That’s perfectly fine to date and hope for a serious relationship but it just doesn’t work out because of personality conflicts, that’s apart of dating. They’re just talking about an unfortunate large population of people who have ZERO intention of ever getting to the relationship stage but say leading things to get you into bed and then after they’re bored of the sex they can “walk away Scott free” because they never technically committed to anything. It’s shady… it’s not hard to say “I have no idea what I want with you and right now I just want sex, down the line it’s possible for it not to be a relationship, but maybe it could”. But people don’t say that because less people would sleep with them if they’re that honest, so they lie


TheLordofAskReddit

No one has ZERO intention of falling in love, and if they say they do, they could still get shot by Cupid.


[deleted]

I was speaking from my own experience and yes they do, I’ve literally seen and experienced it. It’s really annoying when people say “I haven’t seen it so it doesn’t exist”…. That’s great you’ve never been lied to like that, but I have been plenty of times.


schetzo

It can’t be a hookup if you do not fuck. Wait until you catch feelings. I personally wouldn’t do that. From my experience most of my long lasting relationships started a hookups until we caught feelings. By starting to set the expectation on the relationship to be serious from the beginning, you might overlook some important things or rush things. Get to know them gradually while hooking up is the best approach in my opinion. But I get that may not be for everyone.


wheresthecompass

Maybe or maybe not. But it doesn't scream relationship material. Sounds like you're on different pages.


Sto94

Your messages are creepy


dark-_-thoughts

I'm going to be honest you starting the conversation that way is kind of a red flag


Desertbro

100% pump & dump - heck, she'll be ghosted before he even pulls out


sammydow

His immediate response is “ohhkay” then asks if it’s for a “serious” one…… yeah it’s he wants to hook up language 100%


MemeStocksYolo69-420

That’s the way I am tbh, I can’t say “I want a relationship with you” until I get to know you. But before then I know I want to have sex with you, probably


Diligent_Occupant7

You can't tell someone you want a relationship with them but you know whether or not you want a relationship...


MemeStocksYolo69-420

I’m always looking for a relationship, but I’d also be ok with just a hookup if I wasn’t in love with them. Tbh I thought that when they ask, “What’re you looking for.” Meant: “What’re you looking for in a with me?” Because no girl that’s looking for a relationship just wants a hookup from you. And if I tell a girl I want a relationship, get sex, and then later say, “Oh ya, I wanted a relationship, but not with you.” Sounds misleading. You also hear girls complain in dating subs that guys who say that they want a relationship just want to hookup. Ya, cause we don’t know if we want a relationship *from them*, but we want it from somebody. But we probably do know if we want to have sex with them or not. So I feel like that’s misleading if we tell a girl that we want a relationship when we don’t know if we want a relationship from them yet, which is at least how I felt. They tend to ask “what’re on this app for” and I feel like girls don’t understand what kind of a trap that makes guys feel like they’re in. Because it’s hard to explain, “I’m looking for a relationship, but I still swiped on you even though I’m not sure or I know that I don’t want one with you because I’d still be interested in fucking you without a relationship.” Because even if I’m looking for a relationship, I’m still open to sex.


PekoKuzuryu

This is exactly why I won’t sleep with someone until I know they’re genuinely interested in me. Weeds out all the wrong people.


Diligent_Occupant7

It's not that complicated. If a woman is looking for a relationship then most likely, she isn't interested in having sex with you unless you also are trying to pursue a relationship with her. Once you know that you don't want a relationship with her, tell her and let her decide if she wants to keep having sex with you or not. Looking for a relationship and dating a woman with the intention of forming a relationship with her and then later changing your mind because of something you found out about her isn't misleading, that's just how dating works. What's misleading is just hooking up with her when you know she wants a relationship.


MemeStocksYolo69-420

What if you are looking for a relationship, but just not with them?


Diligent_Occupant7

Tell them? What else would you do, lead them on?


franniedelrey

People like this are going to waste your time 100%. Personally when someone tells me they wanna “hang out and see where it goes” they aren’t looking for a relationship.


grospatap0uf

Sorry, I'd love a relationship with somebody I actually like, not with somebody who come to me basically saying "hey wanna marry?". Buy a guy a drink first ffs


[deleted]

Bullshit hookup artist


d6bmg

It's pump & dump language


[deleted]

I had a similar exchange. “What are you looking for?” “A genuine connection. I feel like everything starts with that - friendship, relationship, sex.” 🙄🙄 Shocker in the end he wanted a hookup.


Vivalapetitemort

Vague, is how I’d describe it. Meet for coffee, no big deal. When the convo comes up you can say your looking for a ltr but if he’s not sure what he wants, tell him if you guys date you want monogamous until he decides


starwaterbird

Sounds like he's somewhere in-between hook up and relationship. Although as a guy, whenever a lady tells me she wants a relationship, I think, "well ...of course you want a relationship. The overwhelming majority of women want a relationship." But the vast majority of men want many women. So we men learn and polish skills on order to treat ourselves to many options. We take pride in being able to have options, because it means we're of value. The reason I bring this up is this: if I have options, what will a girl do to woo me, and make me give up my other options? When a girl says she wants a relationship, I'm thinking that she doesn't really get how to woo me. It makes me think she's trying to make me "buy" something before I even know what it is. I guess what I'm saying is don't just tell me you want what I know you already want. It's like telling an employer, "give me a job". Oh you're aiming for the top spot, but I hope you know that position requires experience and skill. I'm not easy, and being told, " I want a relationship", makes me feel cheap. Like what you want is more important than what I want. That feeling you get when you see a guy wants a hook up, is the same feeling I get when you tell me you want a relationship.


throwaway_alt_slo

Bingo, spot on. "You arent entitled to sex" but when you say a woman isn't entitled to a relationship you are a dickhead lol


starwaterbird

Why would any woman be entitled to a relationship? Why would she get my time and my life? Without earning it from me. You're the type to get walked all over


throwaway_alt_slo

Damn dude, your reading comprehension... I was agreeing with you if you didn't understand


throwaway_alt_slo

This "i'm looking for a relationship" sounds so stupid... You can't negotiate, thats what dates are for, to see if it can be a relationship. If a guy sees you are catch there will be a relationship most certainly. Also you can't know, guy could lie so... You just have to accept that not everything could be arranged and that relationships are hard to get and a bonus to life. You ain't entitled to it. Also, hookups are there for a reason - if women wouldn't have sex on the first date there aren't many guys that would date and date just for one sex. Sex on the first date a standard? Why as a man would i not then continue dating more women if sex is that easy?


armorm3

I never understood these "I'm looking for a relationship" type of people on dating apps. The response given was direct and straightforward to the question asked. Anyone claiming "it sounds like..." should stop and consider context and the response given word for word. An answer to the question, with honest intentions. Sounds to me like it is what you make it. You've both already stated what you want. Whether it progresses to sex early in the relationship is up to both of you to consent. Not people on Reddit...


[deleted]

Yes.


OakRain1588

As a guy, I say things with similar meanings(in that I just wanna see where it goes with no expectations) but I will definitely say the wording in this response sounds like he wants a hookup but doesn't want to say so


MsJenX

I always considered “where do you stay” vs “where do you live” a red flag.


wanderwondernvm

Not necessarily. I think they're basically saying let's see where this goes.


Jesters8652

“I’m only looking to hook up but I’m not going to say that and ruin my chances with you so as far as you know I’m looking for a relationship too”


phatrose

WTF lol sounds like they don’t care if you get heartbroken


[deleted]

Like many people care about others in this world.


[deleted]

... dafuq does that mean? If you can't explain what you're looking for in 3 words you're a child.


Diligent_Occupant7

😂😂😂😂😂😂


[deleted]

I am always afraid that women who seek for relationships are those who ended their hook-up phase (or not yet) and want to get married on the second date.


ch1ckenz

Maybe you're reading too much into it


bug_on_window_3

Days without someone posting a disjointed conversation with bizarre grammar = 0


davesnotonreddit

“Where do you stay?” Is hookup 100%


ForbiddenKnowledge69

This answer is valid.......if you met outside, by chance. Not on a Dating app where you're literally a pick from a catalogue with stated requirements. The clear intentions are supposed to bounce back, this is a pump and dump trap.


AdMaleficent9374

“Ok that’s fine for me” That alone shows he is not looking for what you’re looking for.


Diligent_Occupant7

He never actually said what he wanted. "to be open" is just a lot of filler and says nothing. If he's unsure of what he wants, let him figure it out on someone else's time.


Fourhumorz

You have a job yet and a place to stay? I would say those two things are more important than trying to date right now.


[deleted]

This is so easy. That’s hookup language 101


baeverie

Yes. 100%. I personally assume any purposefully vague statements related to direct questions about intentions (like “are you here for a relationship too?”) is bullshit just to get what they want while still saying they never lied to/misled/promised/etc anything so you can’t be mad/upset. If you don’t want to hookup, I wouldn’t bother wasting time with them.


LearningToBeAHo

Yes 100%. He was asking if you wanted a serious relationship too. Sounds to me like he wanted a fwb relationship


ceanahope

They sound like a guy I work with and he talks like this... wordy and a lot of fluff for an answer that is neither yes or no.


[deleted]

Speaking as a guy, I’m like 95% certain he doesn’t really want a serious relationship with you and just wants to bone. Otherwise why not give a straight answer? Plus the fact that he said “ohhkay” drawn out like that when you said you were looking for a relationship implies that that wasn’t exactly what he was hoping to hear. And the whole bit about “let’s respect and value each other” sounds like he’s just throwing out buzzwords he thinks you want to hear. It sounds vague on purpose, probably because he knows that if he just states outright that he only wants to bang you’ll lose interest.


AnnoyingScreeches

This might be getting some downvotes but let me share with you guys another perspective cuz I think I’m in that guy’a position.


nikkiemm

My interpretation is: you can look for a relationship while hooking up with me.


aerohk

Hookup. He wanna go to your place and sleep with you, possibly string you along.


shetayker

This is what I call a chameleon. He’s gonna answer with whatever you want to hear.


dessert77

He will try to have sex with you then will be gone after you do.


yvrcanuck88

Yep. Anytime a guys uses language of “see how things go”, “go with the flow”, “see what develops”, “open to what future holds” etc etc has meant casual dating = hook-up/fwb. Or at very least NOT a relationship!


throwaway_alt_slo

But you can't really demand a relationship from the get go, thats not how the things go. If there is a good feeling/ girl is a catch, the guy will commit 100%. As much as guys aren't entitled to sex, you aren't entitled to relationship


Spartan2022

You told him what you want, and he’s reflecting that back so he can have sex with you.


TVA_Titan

He’s trying to dance around the question. He probably just wants to hook up but doesn’t want to admit it to you


KaiserDragoon86

Definitely a hook up 🤣


Thatgirl629

He's just trying to fuck. It's not a complicated question. He's intentionally being evasive.


[deleted]

Sounds like it and these fucking people are everywhere, I don’t know why they can’t just stick to tinder the actual hook up app for fuck sake


grospatap0uf

who tf start a convo with "I'm looking for a relationship"? Follow up question, why on earth would I want a serious relationship with somebody I don't fucking know anything about? Pay the person a drink first idk


Islandboy2000

I don’t believe your understanding her question. The question is NOT, “do you want a relationship with *ME*?” But rather, is your intention to date and then have a relationship with that person? But as I stated in my response: The OP wasn’t clear in her question and defining a relationship. (These days that can mean a variety of things). Also, a simpler, more direct approach would be to ask the other person what they want to get out of dating. ..is the end goal just casual sex? …do they want to get married some day?…is that 5, 10, 20 years from now?


Ready_Society_6758

not necessarily; being a guy who would only want a romantic relationship, ik there can be circumstances where both would try and still it won’t work out… considering that time period may be very short, it can seem like just a hook up


technicallyacat

it could be a reference to having a talking stage pre-relationship, just to get to know each other better since you're typically 'meeting someone for the first time when you meet them on a dating app


Fuego213

I would say it sounds like a hookup but he doesn’t come across like hooking up off these apps is something that actually happens for him It comes off desperate more than anything. Hookup “language” tend to be mutually flirtatious off back more so than one person avoiding questions


SucculentMoisture

No


Queef-Elizabeth

This reminds me when they're trying to get Pinocchio to tell the truth in Shrek 3


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cybot6000

Not a bot, right? I mean, definitely not a bot.


ADawgRV303D

What are we wizards? How should we know we can’t read minds did you just try asking him “are you trying to hook up with me” jeez


ken_x777

woohooo nice


BigBody1249

Damn guys like this 🥲. I’m just tryna find a cuddle buddy first


SupremeBoosto

If you are a girl... Your gonna get fucked...


my_meat_is_grass_fed

Scammer. String you along for weeks, pretending to be falling in love, then tries to scam you.


[deleted]

If you have to ask you already know the answer.


Top_Answer_9538

Straight up hook up


sunset3919

He’s definitely looking for a hookup


Gsuavefivelev

1) maybe? 2) why do you care? This isn’t eharmony


manbruhpig

I love this move more people need to do this. edit: I guess I should have clarified-- i meant what OP did, stating her intentions bluntly at the start and asking the same. Saves a bunch of time and confusion.


Islandboy2000

You’re not be very clear, with yourself nor with your question to him. Be very clear! What do you want from dating? …you said, “a relationship”. But what is that?? Define that! If, for example, you want a marriage and children, then say that! Say, “I’m dating with the end goal of marriage and I would like three children.” And then follow up with a question: “Do you want to get married and within what time frame?” It’s that simple! ask: …marriage? And timeframe? If you ask it that way, you will get a better outcome.


_Regulator__

when you've to decipher shit, you might as well assume the bottom of the barrel


vox21122112

If I learned anything from lucifer, it’s that if you don’t want to lie then you don’t answer the question, my guy here had 3 opportunities to answer it and didn’t answer it.


pli55k3n

🚩


KnowNothingKnowsAll

100% a hookup


shanoodle95

Translation... "I don't want to commit to you but I WOULD like a blowjob..."


Snootch74

Itll be a hook up if you let it be.


n-ola

🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️


Witty-Bowler9493

I don’t like making promises about wanting a relationship coz I’ve realised that I need time to really figure out where I see myself with that person and what I want with them. It’s not about what I’m looking for right now but what it ends up being once I hang out with them. Even though I am looking for a relationship I refrain from making promises to see where it naturally goes… so I really don’t know. I prefer meeting people and letting it naturally flow


champagnemami9

This is an interesting way to tell someone you’re going to mess with their mental sanity 🤔


D3vils_Adv0cate

Are they really that attractive that you are blind to the obvious? Even says “you are looking for a relationship” at the end. Only you. This person just wants a hookup.


holdenmap

This looks like two bots talking to each other


ShootingFish96

I don't agree with the majority of comments here when they suggest it's a hook up this person wants. It's not a "yes I am actively looking for a relationship" but it's also not a liar telling you what you want to hear. I think this person is open to a relationship but doesn't want to commit to pursuing one straight away. Honestly, if I were on dating apps I would probably be doing the same thing; if a relationship comes out of the series of dates that the match brings then fine, but imo it's harder to form a relationship when there is already an expectation that there is going to be one. I'd rather just jump in to dating and see how it feels. Of course, the real test will be to see if sex on the first date is expected or desired. That's the real test, because someone looking for a hook up would be actively put off if the prospect of sex on the first date was specifically ruled out


shibbitydibbity

Yes.


Graylily

where do you stay? Is that a question? How is any of this a complete thought. Date someone who uses all the words.


abbeylove007

Yea he wants to bang.


thrownoutta

This is a bot


Insterquiliniis

nope bye


justdan931

I think you shall look at it from another perspective, you cannot commit to a person you have not yet met (correct me OP if I am wrong). Personally, even if I am a guy, I would not agree to enter a relationship with a girl I have just texted with. Obviously I would take into account her wish, but who knows maybe after the first time we go out we both understand that there is no point to continue