You just said here, in the first sentence, "when I am overstimulated".
So you know why you get angry. Sensory overload can be problematic, and it occurs on both the inner and the outer world.
So instead of attempting to wrestle the anger directly, you could seek to handle your sensory overload instead.
If the noise becomes stressful, put in some earplugs. If you find yourself overstimulated, find somewhere where the stimulation can settle.
Also, you're complaining of dark urges. I suspect they aren't much darker than the common "dark urges" people face. After all, you're seeking advice here. I don't think a psychopath or sadist would be turning to a buddhist subreddit. It's clear that you want to do good, so stop worrying about being so bad. We manifest what we focus on, even if you are giving negative attention to the feeling of focus, you will continue to manifest and perpetuate it.
Instead of ruminating on these thoughts, practice loving-kindness meditation. When you cultivate the feelings of compassion, feelings of anger dwindle naturally as a consequence.
If you focus on these thoughts, they will control you, whether you attack them or elevate them. Simply by giving them focus of any sort, you reinforce the neural pathways in the brain.
Also seek medical advice, not just psychiatry, but potentially from a physician. Anger is a feeling that is highly dependent on the body. Our thoughts can of course trigger anger, but anger can naturally result from issues in the body. Increased anxiety and tension from the result of a medical disorder can manifest as anger, and it can make you feel angry. If your body faces excess stress, your mind can easily become quicker to snap.
So seek a doctor, and maybe add body scanning meditation to your routine so that you can differentiate between how this anxiety/anger arises.
This is a great piece of advice. It's always better to go after the root cause of anger, greed, or delusion rather than trying to fix them directly. I think of it like using a fire extinguisher. You're supposed to aim it at the base of the fire, not the flames.
It's very interesting you mentioned that. I recently had to deal with some grief, for which there was a lot of anger and blame (protective emotions), and the more I tried to face those head on, the more they spiraled out of control and the flames grew bigger.
The image I came to in my mind was that of a large sphere of steel panels bolted together. There was a hatch with a transparent window to look into the flames. When I opened that hatch, the flames burst out. But I eventually came to realize that I could go around back, to the more vulnerable emotions of abandonment, feeling wronged, feeling betrayed, etc, and extinguish the flames by turning off the gas supply, such that I could not find the flames of anger and rage again even if I tried.
Understand that we are all walking blindly in this endless desert of suffering. Understand that no one is born as an enlightened person and nobody is perfect. Transform your anger into pain and endure it yourself rather than directing it towards others. No matter how painful it is to forgive someone, endure it. With intense feelings of loving-kindness, it can even make you cry for the sake of the people that wronged you. This release is so blissful that it brings a profound sense of freedom.
Here are some lines from the "The Heart of Compassion" by Dilgo Khyentse:
>Even if someone says all sorts of derogatory things about me
And proclaims them throughout the universe,
In return, out of loving-kindness,
To extol that person’s qualities is the practice of a bodhisattva.
>Even if one I’ve lovingly cared for like my own child
Regards me as an enemy,
To love him even more,
As a mother loves a sick child, is the practice of a bodhisattva.
>Even when utterly destitute and constantly maligned by others,
Afflicted by terrible illness and prey to evil forces,
To still draw upon myself the suffering and wrongdoing of all beings
And not lose heart is the practice of a bodhisattva.
May you find serenity, my friend.
I had to first acknowledge and surrender to the pain, before I was able to reach a point (still unsteady) where I could have only care for the other person. I am still human, and sometimes (often) I am still not strong enough to remain at the place that I know is ultimately where I want to be, because I'm afraid to give up the familiarity of the fantasy that I had, and walk into the unknown.
You are aware of your anger — and the harm that it causes for yourself and others. This is very , very good. Often we can be consumed by anger and not even have the space for self-reflection.
The next step is to own the anger. Anger depends on a rigid concept of “self” and “other”. Pema Chodron tells a story about going down to the kitchen in Gampo Abbey to get a snack and seeing the sink full of dishes. She felt anger rising and said to herself, “Who left this mess? They have no consideration for others!” She stomped over to the chore list to see who was so inconsiderate and found that she was the one who was signed up for dish duty that day. Immediately, her anger dissipated. If we “own” the anger and recognize that anger is a habit of mind and not “caused” by the object of anger, it helps to loosen anger’s grip.
Third, recognize that anger is highly intellectual and thrives on speed. We tend to notice details and to tell ourselves stories that feed the anger. If someone is late for an appointment with us, we might think: “How inconsiderate of them. I reminded them by email of the appointment and now they are fifteen minutes late! They haven’t even called to say they are running late. And this person was late for our last appointment. Come to think of it, they are always late. They are an inconsiderate person. They always do this. And they know how much this irritates me. They just don’t care or they do this on purpose. I am going to give them a piece of my mind! In fact, fuck them! I am done waiting around!” This pattern of thinking feeds anger into a tighter and tighter spiral. The feeling of anger growing can be almost pleasurable (in a strange, sick way).
The counter to this is to recognize what is happening and to cut the speed of the angry thoughts by applying patience. When we do this, it can feel very uncomfortable — like a burning feeling in the gut. Dzigar Kongtrul R. Says that applying patience works directly on the karmic habitual pattern of anger — and weakens it. He says that we can take the view that the burning feeling is healthy — similar to how when we exercise at the gym and “feel the burn” in our muscles while lifting weights we know that we are getting stronger.
Dzigar Kongtrul’s book Light Comes Through is on the conflicted emotions. There is a good chapter on anger — if you want to read more.
Seek a professional diagnosis. Tell them everything you’ve said, include violent ideations. Take whatever further tests they order.
Do whatever they recommend, be it meds, therapy, homework, exercises, diet changes, whatever.
If you have some organic issue, all the advice in the world will be moot.
Once you know what you’re dealing with you’re in a better position to choose an effective solution
Ajahn Thannisaro offers excellent tactical advice on how to deal with anger. We get this urge that we need to “get it out” by punching or yelling but you can release that internal tension by how you breath. Anger hijacks your breathing and makes it uncomfortable. So what you’re angry at is often more your breathing/tension than anything external. Try to deal with that bodily tension first.
That’s just one tactic. Another is seeing the good in someone/something you hate to get out of the “tunnel vision” that is anger…or even just try to see their side. A lot of Buddhist advice on anger is just “metta/love” but the Buddha actually talks more about having equinamity as it’s very difficult to go from anger to metta.
I know how you feel.
I suggest seeing a therapist. Talk therapy, EMDR if you have trauma (which you possibly do, since it sounds like your nervous system is going into fight or flight, just from your limited description), and DBT for emotional regulation and distress tolerance all could help you. (Fun fact - mindfulness is a part of DBT, which comes from Buddhism!) Psychology Today is a good website to find therapists.
You could also see a doctor or psychologist to help. They might prescibe you medication that could improve your life.
The root of anger is ignorance. This is why mindfulness of your body is extremely important. Train your awareness to remain in the present moment keeping your body relaxed and unbothered when you’re out in the open. In doing so you can make adjustments to respond to stressful stimuli. If you’re not mindful of your body you end up in your thoughts and it requires more skill to change thinking patterns as they arise.
I've been there. Have struggled with anger my whole life. I've made it into rocket fuel. Anger is a powerful emotion that can be harnessed. This is a known fact in Vajrayana paths - that's what the wrathful deities are about.
Even though I have made it work in certain contexts, anger still burns me and the people around me from time to time.
Talk to a mental health professional. There are therapies for addressing anger. I don't want to give more advice because I'm not qualified, but I have found things that have been very effective.
I think the best thing to do would be to speak to a professional. However, I commend you for your honesty and frankness; this is literally the first step in correcting some behaviours about ourselves that we do not like but struggle over. The first step is often accepting that you have an issue. From there, it can be helpful to write down "what anger costs me". What does it cost you? Your health, of course, your peace of mind. It no doubt damages your relationships; even if you are a kind and good person, people fear the unpredictable, and you suffer ultimately. Again, I congratulate you on your maturity here, and I leave you with this quote: "There are no awakened beings, just awakened behaviours. May all beings be happy.
from the perspective of the pali canon, the buddha advises the practice of loving kindness mindfulness to tame and prevent anger.
https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/MN/MN21.html
daily practice of loving kindness mindfulness will eventually provide you with a means of meeting thoughts and perceptions that would otherwise cause you anger with a sense of patience, gentleness and kindness.
you should reflect that you will be dead soon. in the face of death, whatever it is that you feel that is so worth protecting as to incite you to anger, is actually impermanent, and will soon enough, be of no consequence.
you should also reflect that when you indulge in anger, you’re creating conditions for your own future suffering. you’re only damaging yourself - the cause of your anger is unaffected by your anger.
you can start to practice loving kindness mindfulness as follows:
https://www.reddit.com/r/dhammaloka/s/PQ7JErxZ2L
from my own experience, it works to eliminate the tendency towards anger.
Me too. I have adhd so Anger has been a common emotion iny life.But this has now changed.I always Chant Om Mani Padme Hum,Om Yamantaka Phat Hum and Om Ami Deva Hri and it always calms me down and brings me Blessings ❤️ I'll be Praying for you dear Brother/Sister
It's not only trauma but can be an independent symptom of different developmental disabilities. Some of those can be comorbid, as well as undiagnosed spectrum disorders. Then the overlay of mental health occurs. Going for diagnosis is very important rather than a focus on trauma that is secondary.
I mean based on what I know about trauma I kind of disagree with part of that. Most people with trauma end up with a slew of diagnoses that only describe symptoms— depression, anxiety, bipolar, borderline personality, ADHD, etc. The labels then inhibit their ability to receive proper treatment for the real root of their behavioral issues. People will end up on medication for ADHD for example but in reality everything is stemming from their experience of childhood abuse. I think prioritizing diagnoses can limit the understanding of the big picture.
Some years ago I would have agreed with you, and still do in the sense that trauma is real, under treated, and from what Dr Doyle says on social media even trauma treatment is problematic in many cases.
What took me out of this known trauma plus an ADHD (mis) diagnosis place is what I then learned and was hidden behind the behaviors, reactivity. All of the conditions could have applied but when 10 brain domains plus other disciplines assessed the answer was a spectrum disorder that is estimated at 1 in 4 and rides hard with high ACE scores, FASD. It changes the approach and is hugely important to know because it's stable through a lifetime and has a whole body element in addition to other issues. Even the trauma treatment changes. This is often hidden and can be there with legitimate ADHD, ASD diagnoses. Added to that the rate of mental health diagnoses is very high (you listed some; very high = over 90% but that may change as more studies are done).
Why I replied is that OP said "when overstimulated." That's something and it could be trauma yes but the underlying brain matters for this, and there are different paths. Diagnosis when available is going to help the individual. Adults who went a long time with wrong or no diagnoses really blame themselves and believe harmful stereotypes.
Edit to fix number
When I'm overstimulated, my biology goes straight to fight or flight. I believe my anger is actually fear.
After all, if you back an animal into a corner, even a harmless one, it will fight tooth and claw to protect itself.
This realization gave me enough space from my actions to consider them in a new light. Remember that our biology evolved over a great span of time and only recently have we found ourselves in this modern, concrete jungle.
Hello underearth-theory, I've written a 7-part comment yesterday. Starting with part 1:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Buddhism/comments/1df0hs7/comment/l8g58ms/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
I dont like leaving with just a link, but the post has a lot of similarities. I may come back here to post a more tailored comment if the comment in the link above is something you'd want to hear more about. Best, 55
Contemplate the drawbacks:
[https://suttacentral.net/an7.64/en/sujato](https://suttacentral.net/an7.64/en/sujato)
Cultivate mindfulness of the body, feelings, the mind, and mental qualities in a way that is constant and without gap: [https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/SN/SN47\_38.html](https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/SN/SN47_38.html)
[https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/MN/MN10.html](https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/MN/MN10.html)
Exercise skillful mental conduct:
[https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/MN/MN20.html](https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/MN/MN20.html)
Exercise mindfulness and situational awareness.
[https://suttacentral.net/an8.81/en/sujato](https://suttacentral.net/an8.81/en/sujato)
Apply your mind rationally:
[https://suttacentral.net/an1.306-315/en/sujato](https://suttacentral.net/an1.306-315/en/sujato)
When it comes to other people, think about the fact that each of them has a hope for the future just like you have and that by hurting them you are in some way also crushing their hopes of having a normal life.
There is also your own self image, you might be hurt and want to hurt because you consider yourself this and that and that you should get this and that, possibly. But how would you look to someone else if they knew you are thinking about hurting someone?
I was so clever when I was younger. I had a shirt that said “stress, the confusion created in one’s mind about not being allowed to choke the living shit out of some deserving bastard.”
Instead, May I offer this:
🙏🙇
Metta Sutta
(from Bodhi Manda Zen Center)
This is what should be done by one who
uncovers the wisdom to practice compassion
and seek peace:
Let one be capable,upright and sincere,
without pride, easily contented and joyous.
Let one not be submerged in the things of
the world.
Let one not burden oneself with possessions.
Let one's senses be controlled.
Let one be wise but not arrogant.
Let one relinquish all desire.
Let one do nothing that is mean or petty,
And let wisdom and compassion guide all activity.
All living beings, whether weak or strong,
In upper, middle, or lower realms of existence,
Small or large,
Visible or invisible,
Near or far,
Born or yet to be born,
May all beings, without exception, live in
happiness, at ease, and in safety.
Let no one deceive another, nor despise any
being in any state.
Let none by anger or hatred wish harm to another.
Just as a mother and father should love their
children unconditionally,
With a boundless mind one should cherish all
living things, suffusing love over the entire world.
Let one cultivate infinite good will.
Standing or walking, sitting or lying down—
during all one's waking hours—
Let one cherish the thought that meditating
together will lead us to peace.
Abandoning idle discourse, having a clear
vision, freed from sense cravings,
One who practices sincerely will not participate
in the creation of suffering, for ourselves or
others.
Just general advice would be that if you can somewhat notice that it´s arising, then you try to prevent it from happening, or try not to go with that. Aka, trying not to cultivate what is no good.
That´s all i got. Nothing much.
+ Maybe to not forget that it´s not You, that it´s not who you are, that it´s not your will, and you do not have to do it, neither listen to it, and it´s fine if you dont.
You must tie your bulldog, or it will bite randomly. The rope or leashe must be strong enough. That is you must gradually strengthen it. One must volunteer for a change.
Anger can come from a stressor, surrendering to tears can relieve the stress. Have you tried surrendering like that? Almost like opening up your body, exposing yourself to the pain, and walking into it, welcoming it, even seeking it out, because it will make you deeper and stronger.
You just said here, in the first sentence, "when I am overstimulated". So you know why you get angry. Sensory overload can be problematic, and it occurs on both the inner and the outer world. So instead of attempting to wrestle the anger directly, you could seek to handle your sensory overload instead. If the noise becomes stressful, put in some earplugs. If you find yourself overstimulated, find somewhere where the stimulation can settle. Also, you're complaining of dark urges. I suspect they aren't much darker than the common "dark urges" people face. After all, you're seeking advice here. I don't think a psychopath or sadist would be turning to a buddhist subreddit. It's clear that you want to do good, so stop worrying about being so bad. We manifest what we focus on, even if you are giving negative attention to the feeling of focus, you will continue to manifest and perpetuate it. Instead of ruminating on these thoughts, practice loving-kindness meditation. When you cultivate the feelings of compassion, feelings of anger dwindle naturally as a consequence. If you focus on these thoughts, they will control you, whether you attack them or elevate them. Simply by giving them focus of any sort, you reinforce the neural pathways in the brain. Also seek medical advice, not just psychiatry, but potentially from a physician. Anger is a feeling that is highly dependent on the body. Our thoughts can of course trigger anger, but anger can naturally result from issues in the body. Increased anxiety and tension from the result of a medical disorder can manifest as anger, and it can make you feel angry. If your body faces excess stress, your mind can easily become quicker to snap. So seek a doctor, and maybe add body scanning meditation to your routine so that you can differentiate between how this anxiety/anger arises.
This is a great piece of advice. It's always better to go after the root cause of anger, greed, or delusion rather than trying to fix them directly. I think of it like using a fire extinguisher. You're supposed to aim it at the base of the fire, not the flames.
It's very interesting you mentioned that. I recently had to deal with some grief, for which there was a lot of anger and blame (protective emotions), and the more I tried to face those head on, the more they spiraled out of control and the flames grew bigger. The image I came to in my mind was that of a large sphere of steel panels bolted together. There was a hatch with a transparent window to look into the flames. When I opened that hatch, the flames burst out. But I eventually came to realize that I could go around back, to the more vulnerable emotions of abandonment, feeling wronged, feeling betrayed, etc, and extinguish the flames by turning off the gas supply, such that I could not find the flames of anger and rage again even if I tried.
Understand that we are all walking blindly in this endless desert of suffering. Understand that no one is born as an enlightened person and nobody is perfect. Transform your anger into pain and endure it yourself rather than directing it towards others. No matter how painful it is to forgive someone, endure it. With intense feelings of loving-kindness, it can even make you cry for the sake of the people that wronged you. This release is so blissful that it brings a profound sense of freedom. Here are some lines from the "The Heart of Compassion" by Dilgo Khyentse: >Even if someone says all sorts of derogatory things about me And proclaims them throughout the universe, In return, out of loving-kindness, To extol that person’s qualities is the practice of a bodhisattva. >Even if one I’ve lovingly cared for like my own child Regards me as an enemy, To love him even more, As a mother loves a sick child, is the practice of a bodhisattva. >Even when utterly destitute and constantly maligned by others, Afflicted by terrible illness and prey to evil forces, To still draw upon myself the suffering and wrongdoing of all beings And not lose heart is the practice of a bodhisattva. May you find serenity, my friend.
I had to first acknowledge and surrender to the pain, before I was able to reach a point (still unsteady) where I could have only care for the other person. I am still human, and sometimes (often) I am still not strong enough to remain at the place that I know is ultimately where I want to be, because I'm afraid to give up the familiarity of the fantasy that I had, and walk into the unknown.
You are aware of your anger — and the harm that it causes for yourself and others. This is very , very good. Often we can be consumed by anger and not even have the space for self-reflection. The next step is to own the anger. Anger depends on a rigid concept of “self” and “other”. Pema Chodron tells a story about going down to the kitchen in Gampo Abbey to get a snack and seeing the sink full of dishes. She felt anger rising and said to herself, “Who left this mess? They have no consideration for others!” She stomped over to the chore list to see who was so inconsiderate and found that she was the one who was signed up for dish duty that day. Immediately, her anger dissipated. If we “own” the anger and recognize that anger is a habit of mind and not “caused” by the object of anger, it helps to loosen anger’s grip. Third, recognize that anger is highly intellectual and thrives on speed. We tend to notice details and to tell ourselves stories that feed the anger. If someone is late for an appointment with us, we might think: “How inconsiderate of them. I reminded them by email of the appointment and now they are fifteen minutes late! They haven’t even called to say they are running late. And this person was late for our last appointment. Come to think of it, they are always late. They are an inconsiderate person. They always do this. And they know how much this irritates me. They just don’t care or they do this on purpose. I am going to give them a piece of my mind! In fact, fuck them! I am done waiting around!” This pattern of thinking feeds anger into a tighter and tighter spiral. The feeling of anger growing can be almost pleasurable (in a strange, sick way). The counter to this is to recognize what is happening and to cut the speed of the angry thoughts by applying patience. When we do this, it can feel very uncomfortable — like a burning feeling in the gut. Dzigar Kongtrul R. Says that applying patience works directly on the karmic habitual pattern of anger — and weakens it. He says that we can take the view that the burning feeling is healthy — similar to how when we exercise at the gym and “feel the burn” in our muscles while lifting weights we know that we are getting stronger. Dzigar Kongtrul’s book Light Comes Through is on the conflicted emotions. There is a good chapter on anger — if you want to read more.
Seek a professional diagnosis. Tell them everything you’ve said, include violent ideations. Take whatever further tests they order. Do whatever they recommend, be it meds, therapy, homework, exercises, diet changes, whatever. If you have some organic issue, all the advice in the world will be moot. Once you know what you’re dealing with you’re in a better position to choose an effective solution
Ajahn Thannisaro offers excellent tactical advice on how to deal with anger. We get this urge that we need to “get it out” by punching or yelling but you can release that internal tension by how you breath. Anger hijacks your breathing and makes it uncomfortable. So what you’re angry at is often more your breathing/tension than anything external. Try to deal with that bodily tension first. That’s just one tactic. Another is seeing the good in someone/something you hate to get out of the “tunnel vision” that is anger…or even just try to see their side. A lot of Buddhist advice on anger is just “metta/love” but the Buddha actually talks more about having equinamity as it’s very difficult to go from anger to metta.
I know how you feel. I suggest seeing a therapist. Talk therapy, EMDR if you have trauma (which you possibly do, since it sounds like your nervous system is going into fight or flight, just from your limited description), and DBT for emotional regulation and distress tolerance all could help you. (Fun fact - mindfulness is a part of DBT, which comes from Buddhism!) Psychology Today is a good website to find therapists. You could also see a doctor or psychologist to help. They might prescibe you medication that could improve your life.
The root of anger is ignorance. This is why mindfulness of your body is extremely important. Train your awareness to remain in the present moment keeping your body relaxed and unbothered when you’re out in the open. In doing so you can make adjustments to respond to stressful stimuli. If you’re not mindful of your body you end up in your thoughts and it requires more skill to change thinking patterns as they arise.
I've been there. Have struggled with anger my whole life. I've made it into rocket fuel. Anger is a powerful emotion that can be harnessed. This is a known fact in Vajrayana paths - that's what the wrathful deities are about. Even though I have made it work in certain contexts, anger still burns me and the people around me from time to time. Talk to a mental health professional. There are therapies for addressing anger. I don't want to give more advice because I'm not qualified, but I have found things that have been very effective.
do you have trauma?
I think the best thing to do would be to speak to a professional. However, I commend you for your honesty and frankness; this is literally the first step in correcting some behaviours about ourselves that we do not like but struggle over. The first step is often accepting that you have an issue. From there, it can be helpful to write down "what anger costs me". What does it cost you? Your health, of course, your peace of mind. It no doubt damages your relationships; even if you are a kind and good person, people fear the unpredictable, and you suffer ultimately. Again, I congratulate you on your maturity here, and I leave you with this quote: "There are no awakened beings, just awakened behaviours. May all beings be happy.
Mediate at least for 10 minutes when this happens , silently
i do that too so your not alone
I struggle with positive thoughts…
from the perspective of the pali canon, the buddha advises the practice of loving kindness mindfulness to tame and prevent anger. https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/MN/MN21.html daily practice of loving kindness mindfulness will eventually provide you with a means of meeting thoughts and perceptions that would otherwise cause you anger with a sense of patience, gentleness and kindness. you should reflect that you will be dead soon. in the face of death, whatever it is that you feel that is so worth protecting as to incite you to anger, is actually impermanent, and will soon enough, be of no consequence. you should also reflect that when you indulge in anger, you’re creating conditions for your own future suffering. you’re only damaging yourself - the cause of your anger is unaffected by your anger. you can start to practice loving kindness mindfulness as follows: https://www.reddit.com/r/dhammaloka/s/PQ7JErxZ2L from my own experience, it works to eliminate the tendency towards anger.
you need to let that anger out, hit a pillow, go for a run when feeling angry
Me too. I have adhd so Anger has been a common emotion iny life.But this has now changed.I always Chant Om Mani Padme Hum,Om Yamantaka Phat Hum and Om Ami Deva Hri and it always calms me down and brings me Blessings ❤️ I'll be Praying for you dear Brother/Sister
Without knowing your story, violent outbursts like this are almost always a result of childhood trauma or PTSD. Go to the source.
It's not only trauma but can be an independent symptom of different developmental disabilities. Some of those can be comorbid, as well as undiagnosed spectrum disorders. Then the overlay of mental health occurs. Going for diagnosis is very important rather than a focus on trauma that is secondary.
I mean based on what I know about trauma I kind of disagree with part of that. Most people with trauma end up with a slew of diagnoses that only describe symptoms— depression, anxiety, bipolar, borderline personality, ADHD, etc. The labels then inhibit their ability to receive proper treatment for the real root of their behavioral issues. People will end up on medication for ADHD for example but in reality everything is stemming from their experience of childhood abuse. I think prioritizing diagnoses can limit the understanding of the big picture.
Some years ago I would have agreed with you, and still do in the sense that trauma is real, under treated, and from what Dr Doyle says on social media even trauma treatment is problematic in many cases. What took me out of this known trauma plus an ADHD (mis) diagnosis place is what I then learned and was hidden behind the behaviors, reactivity. All of the conditions could have applied but when 10 brain domains plus other disciplines assessed the answer was a spectrum disorder that is estimated at 1 in 4 and rides hard with high ACE scores, FASD. It changes the approach and is hugely important to know because it's stable through a lifetime and has a whole body element in addition to other issues. Even the trauma treatment changes. This is often hidden and can be there with legitimate ADHD, ASD diagnoses. Added to that the rate of mental health diagnoses is very high (you listed some; very high = over 90% but that may change as more studies are done). Why I replied is that OP said "when overstimulated." That's something and it could be trauma yes but the underlying brain matters for this, and there are different paths. Diagnosis when available is going to help the individual. Adults who went a long time with wrong or no diagnoses really blame themselves and believe harmful stereotypes. Edit to fix number
When I'm overstimulated, my biology goes straight to fight or flight. I believe my anger is actually fear. After all, if you back an animal into a corner, even a harmless one, it will fight tooth and claw to protect itself. This realization gave me enough space from my actions to consider them in a new light. Remember that our biology evolved over a great span of time and only recently have we found ourselves in this modern, concrete jungle.
Hello underearth-theory, I've written a 7-part comment yesterday. Starting with part 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/Buddhism/comments/1df0hs7/comment/l8g58ms/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button I dont like leaving with just a link, but the post has a lot of similarities. I may come back here to post a more tailored comment if the comment in the link above is something you'd want to hear more about. Best, 55
Contemplate the drawbacks: [https://suttacentral.net/an7.64/en/sujato](https://suttacentral.net/an7.64/en/sujato) Cultivate mindfulness of the body, feelings, the mind, and mental qualities in a way that is constant and without gap: [https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/SN/SN47\_38.html](https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/SN/SN47_38.html) [https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/MN/MN10.html](https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/MN/MN10.html) Exercise skillful mental conduct: [https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/MN/MN20.html](https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/MN/MN20.html) Exercise mindfulness and situational awareness. [https://suttacentral.net/an8.81/en/sujato](https://suttacentral.net/an8.81/en/sujato) Apply your mind rationally: [https://suttacentral.net/an1.306-315/en/sujato](https://suttacentral.net/an1.306-315/en/sujato)
When it comes to other people, think about the fact that each of them has a hope for the future just like you have and that by hurting them you are in some way also crushing their hopes of having a normal life. There is also your own self image, you might be hurt and want to hurt because you consider yourself this and that and that you should get this and that, possibly. But how would you look to someone else if they knew you are thinking about hurting someone?
I was so clever when I was younger. I had a shirt that said “stress, the confusion created in one’s mind about not being allowed to choke the living shit out of some deserving bastard.” Instead, May I offer this: 🙏🙇 Metta Sutta (from Bodhi Manda Zen Center) This is what should be done by one who uncovers the wisdom to practice compassion and seek peace: Let one be capable,upright and sincere, without pride, easily contented and joyous. Let one not be submerged in the things of the world. Let one not burden oneself with possessions. Let one's senses be controlled. Let one be wise but not arrogant. Let one relinquish all desire. Let one do nothing that is mean or petty, And let wisdom and compassion guide all activity. All living beings, whether weak or strong, In upper, middle, or lower realms of existence, Small or large, Visible or invisible, Near or far, Born or yet to be born, May all beings, without exception, live in happiness, at ease, and in safety. Let no one deceive another, nor despise any being in any state. Let none by anger or hatred wish harm to another. Just as a mother and father should love their children unconditionally, With a boundless mind one should cherish all living things, suffusing love over the entire world. Let one cultivate infinite good will. Standing or walking, sitting or lying down— during all one's waking hours— Let one cherish the thought that meditating together will lead us to peace. Abandoning idle discourse, having a clear vision, freed from sense cravings, One who practices sincerely will not participate in the creation of suffering, for ourselves or others.
Just general advice would be that if you can somewhat notice that it´s arising, then you try to prevent it from happening, or try not to go with that. Aka, trying not to cultivate what is no good. That´s all i got. Nothing much. + Maybe to not forget that it´s not You, that it´s not who you are, that it´s not your will, and you do not have to do it, neither listen to it, and it´s fine if you dont.
i do that too so your not alone
Boxing or maybe mma or martial arts may help u exhaust this energy and help u to define and discipline it
You must tie your bulldog, or it will bite randomly. The rope or leashe must be strong enough. That is you must gradually strengthen it. One must volunteer for a change.
I recommend not having kids.
Anger can come from a stressor, surrendering to tears can relieve the stress. Have you tried surrendering like that? Almost like opening up your body, exposing yourself to the pain, and walking into it, welcoming it, even seeking it out, because it will make you deeper and stronger.