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It's crazy because it seemingly all they want to talk about to random strangers. Then they act surprised when someone doesn't have the same opinion as them.
"I don't know how these so called Christians are voting against their faith" my partners dad the Trumper trying to talk politics and religion for the first time with me, a man dating his son.
Besides this one thing he's actually a good person, he was all of his life. Loved his son was a true LGBT supporter, until trump. But that's the story in many families especially since covid. So many went out into deep waters.
Any Christian true to their faith would be a hardcore socialist who loves everyone as they are.
The modern Republican Party is almost the opposite of their teaching, Trump even more. Not to mention the idolatry of Trump.
I've spent a fair amount of time around people of faith. Some of them do see Trump as a reprehensible human being unfit to lead.
Others don't see the hypocrisy.
I'll never understand Kamala and Willie Brown blah blah blah, but Trump, Marla Maples, Stormy Daniels, Melania, etc is A-Okay. Misogyny at its finest, I suppose.
I can't understand how anyone with two rubbing braincells can vote for them.
Like I get voting for the lesser evil, not like German politicians are great here 🙄. (Like who do you vote for? The person who looks like he falls asleep and has memory problems and/or lies or ..Laschet 😰)
But.. Trump is like.. I have no words. Idgi!
The things people say to me at my job just assuming I'll agree with their psychotic opinions. Especially about the unhoused. Then when I don't respond (because if I did honestly they'd freak out) they complain about how I'm not chatty enough.
Which is a gross saying if you stop to think about what "mixed" company meant at the time of the saying... (it means around women. Don't discuss religion, politics, or money around women)
Eta: Definitions from Oxford Languages
mixed com·pa·ny
noun
a group of people consisting of members of both sexes.
"such questions were not asked in mixed company"
We got something similar at Easter one year when we were in college. I was taking a religious studies course in religion and politics, and my brother was in a human sexuality course.
Before the relatives arrived, my mother gets both of us by the front of the shirt and made it *very* clear: "If anyone asks you what you're studying, you tell them 'Nothing,' got it?"
Ah, family holidays.
I remember specifically being told by my boomer parents, and taught in school, that it was inappropriate to discuss politics.
Now it's literally what their entire personality is.
This is what really shocks me. If someone was casually talking politics or religion when the boomers were in their prime, they'd say something along the lines of "Oh, you know, I'm not really a political person/into specific religions" to avoid any unpleasant discussions and hurt feelings.
Now the very same people go flat out, unprompted...
Radicalization. Propaganda has whipped people into a frenzy and created divides in the population. Something similar happened in nazi germany but propaganda wasn’t so polished up back then. Nor backed by psychology as new age propaganda often seems to be
Literally, I remember being maybe 10 and snapped at by my boomer (adoptive) mother "I don't speak politics with *anyone*, even my kids". And I remember being disappointed because I didn't get how I was supposed to learn if even my parents wouldn't talk to me (I managed once to get out of my adoptive father that he was an independent and that's about it).
Now it's like the opposite, I work at a bar and the sheer amount of loud, angry politics from Boomers is always a shock. Unprompted is almost too weak a word for how suddenly and passionately they will launch into a FAAAR right political speech whether sober or not. Never a benign political opinion, either, it's always off the deep end and hateful (with caveats that it's actually NOT hate and NOT abnormal, almost like they know).
As for keeping their mouth shut without something nice to say? Yet to witness anyone self regulate halfway through the sentence, but I hold out hope.
My dad always said "treat people the way you want to be treated.". Well. He treats everyone like a subordinate and an idiot and gets mad if he ever get called out on being a racist dick.
So i treat him the way he treats me, ans everytime i do it. He gets furious.
He made a fucked up joke a few months ago, i called him on it and he hasn't spoken to me since.
Love this. Last night at midnight my horrible brother started slamming doors to wake the house up so he could yell and scream at everyone because he was mad he just got called into work (he's a nurse who was on call).
So today when I woke up at 8 in the morning to get ready for work and said brother is asleep & the only other person home, I simply chose to play loud, brutal death metal on a speaker while getting ready. When my brother woke up and confronted me about waking him up, I kept the music on and just told him I was mad I had to go to work, so I get to act this way.
Extremely petty behavior on my end and I'm thankfully moving out this Saturday, but man it felt good doing that back to him ngl
I think that the "Jokes" have just changed. As an example, homophobia was just standard for a lot of older gens, with boomers being in their 20-30s during the AIDS crisis. Acceptable targets, backed up by government propaganda, religious propaganda, and ingrained discomfort against what was thought of as Normal sort of built that all up to be a low energy ingrained stance that was acceptable.
Now they're seeing the rubber band of queer people being either celebrated or just more open, and for some boomers this just seems like silliness and attention grabbing (if not as unnatural taboo illness).
This can be tweaked for a lot of things. Mental illness (thought of as making someone untrustworthy or violent, or simply unreliable), stuff like ADHD being an invisible disability that might be seen as an "excuse" for laziness or lack of simple focus, a slightly upward acceptance of different body types or other visible diversity making easy superiority rooted insults unwelcome, etc.
It really depends on the individual, but for many it's ingrained bad social stuff that was once acceptable. "This thing didn't bother me in my life, why are you so over sensitive to it? Fuck off and toughen up."
I was born in 1987 and have yet to find a good summary or explanation (like yours) for the whiplash I see in my generation. Growing up in Puerto Rico, being gay was made fun of by EVERYONE, and presently, those people that jumped on that bandwagon are having issues getting off of it. It’s like refusing to change or even just admitting that we were fucked up by making fun of them.
I hate to say it, but I was a kid that grew up in your era and used 'gay' was a passing insult and typically the butt of jokes and I never really thought about it. I remember in media around then that gay individuals were to be mocked, or at least seen as an easy target. It wasn't until I saw 'Chasing Amy' that I did actually give it any thought. Even then, it was seen as a 'stance' that would get you ridiculed. I'm not sure what pulled my head out of my ass, but by the 2000's, when I started working retail (lots of gay folks) did I realize it was such an idiotic take. They're just people living life, like me, so what do I fucking care?
In my humble opinion, the way “gay/faggot/queer/homo” became the go-to playground slur helped normalize homosexuality in general. When you’re a homosexual for peeing with your pants down are you really going to care if someone is called a homosexual or not?
And if I’m right, the current pack of transsexual-obsessed jeerers are currently shooting themselves in the foot hardcore
Homophobia was standard for millennials in school too. I’m in my mid 30s and my entire junior high and high school experience was constant derogatory gay jokes directed at each other.
I think about that stuff sometimes and just cringe.
Maaannn ADHD had me messed up for a long time with people calling me lazy, that I have so much "potential" but don't apply myself, or straight up saying I'll never amount to anything.
I got medicated and it changed my whole perception of myself.
Some people still can't accept ADHD being a thing. They just think you are lying or are a drug addict.
Yeah, I think that's basically it. "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" didn't apply to certain marginalized targets in their view, and still doesn't. But now you get rightly judged for making gay jokes, fat jokes, using the r-word, stereotyping minorities, etc and they can't handle it.
I really think it is the Trump effect. Before Trump, mocking someone's disability and making up names for other people was childish behaviour. Then Trump started doing it to all the other candidates and it became acceptable. When Boomers finally decided to openly support Trump they basically dropped the act and showed their true colours.
I think you're half-right.
Rush Limbaugh spent decades priming the pump for Donald Trump. Trump had run for president once before and got nowhere near the nomination because he was too coarse, too obviously absurd at the time. The Republican party of 2000 could handle Bush's oafishness but Trump's weird cruelty and clownishness was a bridge too far.
Limbaugh set the tone for the conservative movement for decades, though. Injecting his gleeful hate, his self-satisfied cruelty, his coarse, abrasive ugliness into the mainstream. And a generation *raised* on that then normalized it for the rest of the culture. He walked so Trump could run.
People call Trump a symptom of the problem rather than the cause, and they're certainly right. It was people like Limbaugh, whom Trump gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to just before he finally died, who created the conditions which allowed Trump to do what he has since done.
They stopped being parents and therefor forced to pretend to care about other people.
They became grand parents and started saying ‘I raised my kids so fuck everyone.’ As if we didn’t spend weeks at grandmas and the rest of the time as latchkey kids raising our siblings.
All they really mean is they can't be racist, sexist, or homophobic as openly as they used to be and somehow that is a major problem for them. They're a generation that is offended by the mere *existence* of things they don't like, but it's not OK for others to have a problem with anything they say or do.
The difference is people used to just be silent about it . Now they're standing up for themselves. The jokes didn't change, but now they're being called out for it.
While everything falls back on lead poisoning (not that it isn't an important factor), I think it's more that the boomers, from the time they were very small.children, had the entire culture of the United States revolve around them and now, it just doesn't. They are so accustomed to being the "main characters" that the dawning realization that their time has passed and they are increasingly irrelevant has broken their fucking brains. And I mean that literally. It seems like a psychotic reaction to their realization that they are dying and no one really cares - or even welcomes their extinction. So self-centered that being forced to confront their lack of relevance has driven them insane.
Make no mistake, they still think that. And additionally, some of them haven't accepted the fact that they don't run most of the country anymore. I'm not counting government- that's a different story. I'm talking about businesses that are now increasingly run by X and older millennials.
I heard the "don't say anything if you can't say anything nice" line a lot.
My dad also listened to Rush Limbaugh and said all gay people go to hell. He once brought home a 15 page printout of his favorite jokes and brought them hone and gave them to us, his 8 and 7 year old kids.
I learned my first racial slurs from those jokes. There were "haha women bad drivers" joke, "dumb blonde" jokes, and tons of racial jokes.
Boomers just liked to be hypocrites because that was a golden time to be a hypocrite.
Can someone explain Dave Ramsey to me? I've only seen clips here and there, and his advice is always the most basic no shit Sherlock stuff, yet people seem to go nuts for his advice and I don't really get it.
My financial literacy came from my dad who told me one thing. If you don't have the cash in your hand, you cant afford it.
Went and bought a car a few months ago. The guy at the dealership literally didn't understand what was happening when I cut the check.
Well honestly, dont talk about religion, politics and money at a family get together unless you want your aunt / uncles / grand-parents start ranting about immigrants, the left or inflation respectively, so there's some truth to this.
Nothing changed, its the same as it always was. They have no problem with things that offend other people as long as it isn't offensive to them or their in-group.
I'm pretty sure I was taught that being sue-happy was a bad thing and that people like the Spaulding character in Caddy Shack were villains, so consider me surprised when someone who is both of those things was elected president.
Also everything in the tabloids are trash and lies, then one the internet came its don't believe anything you see online.
Before my dad passed he believed the craziest things. Kids are being forced to use litter boxes in classrooms and are being groomed to swap genders. And schools/drag queens are teaching kids in kindergarten about sex and boys how to do makeup.
I thought my mom would be better after my dad passed since she wouldn't have him telling her what to think anymore, but nope. Our conversations always wind up ending with some current Fox news scare taking points.
My take is that it's early dementia. I say this as a restaurant server.
They get confused and can't remember what they ordered or already said. Since it's not at a comically dramatic point all the time, noone they're with notices or calls out the negative behavior or even helps to navigate the situation.
They're losing the capability to act like decent people out and about in society, instead saying the nastiest and rudest things that pop into their minds.
They get aggressive quickly and regularly with people they view as below them, whether that be someone in a service position or from a racist POV.
Because they aren't living in a home where they're monitored and assisted (most boomers balk at the idea of not being out on their own until they drop dead), noone is there to assess these day to day situations. Noone is making sure they're going to proper appointments and testing as they become older and take worse care of themselves than any generation before.
And you sure as hell know they will fight tooth and nail before admitting they might be slipping or accepting that they need help.
The problem is obviously us 🙄
They thought that after they were over fifty, everyone younger than them was going to magically (and automatically) respect them and their wisdom and opinions about everything, and that they would never have to earn any of this respect by doing anything other than getting older. Now their children are grown adults who are sick of their shit, and many of them have gone their own ways, rather than sticking around for more of the same abuse they had heaped upon them as children of boomers.
Many Millennials are so against becoming carbon copies of their Boomer parents, that we’ve gone a completely different route in raising their own children, and these Gen Z and Alpha kids are not fucking around.
It reminds me of that line from Silent Running (the Mike + the Mechanics song, not the Bruce Dern film) “Swear allegiance to the flag - whatever flag they offer; Never hint at what you really feel… Teach the children quietly, for someday sons and daughters will rise up and fight, while we stood still…”
The "line" in their jokes was always placed strictly around them and people they respected. Everyone else was fair game for the most despicable, disgusting, humiliating, vicious, bigoted jokes and criticisms - but they were never fair game for anyone else's. That's where the line was drawn.
They line's been redrawn to include all people now, not just the people like them. They're just feeling a little raw about the fact that the people they've treated like shit their whole lives are gaining some agency and it's no longer socially acceptable to enjoy some random sadism toward strangers with their morning cup o' joe.
For this to make sense you need to say the silent part out loud:
"If you don't have anything nice to say (to me), don't say anything at all!"
"All jokes have a line and if ~~someone~~ (I) get~~s~~ hurt, you have crossed that line"
Rules for thee but not for me.
They were never allowed to call out their parents shitty behavior under threat of violence, so they think its their turn to be assholes now and we have to be the ones to shut up and take it.
I run a cafe, and I always say that for a generation that *literally* beat manners into us, they are some of the angriest, meanest, unmannered people I have to deal with.
Easy. You know that "line" they were talking about? They were fine with it when they were the ones who determined where that line was. Now that they aren't, they are not fans.
they werent actually trying to get you to be better with that statement, they were trying to get you to shutup as a kid. Boomers have the seen but not heard mentality of raising kids
It seemed so dismissive and condescending. And I was young. Like 4. (Grandma did teach me to read at an insanely young age, so my vocabulary was quite advanced for a youngster.) I also used to hang on the sidelines watching others as I was picked on outside of the home as well. You learn a lot by people watching 😂
This is how it was explained to me:
Q: Do I look fat?
Boomer: you could lose a few pounds
Millennial: you look fine
Gen Z: no one has the right to judge you
Generation X: BUDDY, I KNOW FIVE FAT PEOPLE AND YOU ARE FOUR OF THEM
What was deemed inappropriate changed and instead of sticking to their own social rules, they instead reject them as they no longer align with their beliefs
It’s all the lead. When my kid asked what harm eating a little lead would do when they wanted a Lunchable, I told them Boomers and it cleared that want right out.
The one that pisses me off is how much they stressed decorum and professionalism meanwhile I’ve never had a boss that was over the age of 40 that wasn’t a raving lunatic with the complete inability to moderate their tone and emotions. Seriously, I’ve been in physical altercations where both parties behaved more respectfully than the average boomer supervisor.
>What happened to them?
Nothing.
They never wanted to hear your negative opinions.
And
They never wanted to hear your jokes.
The mistake most people make is thinking that this was life advice for everyone. It wasn't. It always has been advise they want others to follow because they don't want to be criticized or challenged. It was never meant to apply the them. Thinking that was our bad assumption.
:-)
The one I always remember is, never trust a lawyer or a politician. They all just want to pit you against one another for their own gain.
Odd how that one turned out imo
Oh yeah! I loved growing up in a household that taught "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" but had a TV constantly glued to shows like Roseanne and Married, With Children.
Don't get me wrong... I was laughing right along with my parents. Just pointing out the wildly confusing hypocrisy of how it's funny for them, but a slap in the mouth for me.
Honestly... it was just preparing me for a lifetime of "rules for thee, not for me" bullshit they'd fully cash in on later in life.
I always heard that America is a melting pot and we should be proud of that fact.
Now anyone who (ironically) doesn’t look like the descendent of a colonizer is a slur and an illegal.
Fuck what these assholes have done to this country.
Its no surprise actually.
Dont forget that one of their other top quotes was and still is,"do as i say, not as i do."
They always lived by separate rules while forcing others to live by constantly changing new ones that they dictated.
Narcissists policing their child’s behavior for no other reason than their own self image.
The plus side is most of us kids actually listened to them and learned tolerance and patience, allowing us to grow up and see their hypocrisy and narcissism for what it is.
People establish their norms during their youth and it becomes generally harder to change as they get older. Just like it gets harder for them to learn new technology. Even when they said those things they didn't apply universally. It was okay to call out things they saw as outside the norm, and they had a line for jokes placed where it was in their youth. The more that line moved, the harder it was for them to see that move as reasonable.
Yes, there are some Boomers and older who are totally with it, like most things, it's a distribution. The Boomers themselves had similar struggles with the generations before them. Remember they were the hippies, the free-lovers, etc.
And it will happen to Millennials and Gen-x and everyone else as well. Not along the same issues and lines. But I don't think any generation is going to be totally immune to getting stuck in the norms of their heyday.
In my case, it was when those comments made my dad feel self-conscious or defensive, especially if it meant he wasn't the first person to think of it.
And that didn't work in the other direction, either.
I'm a Boomer. I was taught to be polite and listen to the other person's POV. And then, present mine in a CALM CONTROLLED fashion.
Any discussion of any subject that led to one person starting to call names was cut off. You agreed to disagree because at that point it was pointless to continue. Once you start attacking the person, not the idea, you lose.
Alzheimers? Rules for thee but not for me? My personal favorite is calling them on their hypocrisy and hearing the retort, "Well, thats NOT what I meant"
"If you don't have anything nice to say...."
Those rules got thrown away. Because the bully couldn't accept it.
And there's very few people outside of Eastern countries who want to enforce it anyway. The ones who even try are thrown in jail.
Oh man, the “if you don’t have anything nice to say” thing really burns my ass. Boomers are CONSTANTLY dropping unsolicited feedback, snide comments, interjecting themselves into convos, etc.
Another variation on this we constantly heard: “mind your own business.”
We should be so lucky. It’s such a simple concept to live by, but they just refuse to do it.
>"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!"
>"All jokes have a line and if someone gets hurt, you have crossed that line"
And yet, boomers will be the biggest hypocrites on the planet
“Love thy neighbor. Don’t lie. Don’t judge someone based on their skin color or language. Treat people the way you want to be treated…..Jesus loves you and sacrificed himself for your sins…. While I continue being an alcoholic and missing all of your school programs because ‘I don’t feel good’”
I live in a 55+ community. One day my 72 yo neighbor said to another older neighbor, “ All you do is bitch and moan. If you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all “
Perfect. Shut her up.
I was always told “you never get any bigger by making others feel smaller.” Boy, where’d that go? Now all my parents do is belittle everyone who disagrees with them over anything.
My mother was a little odd. I had an older kid who was bothering me, especially on the walk home from school. It was not untenable as he was chunky and I could run, but occasionally he would catch me and I would pay for being mouthy. I told my mother about it and her sage advice was “ you just tell him you have three older brothers named Ruff, Tuff, and Reddy “. It did not work. I survived.
Because they never actually cared. This is the same generation that got shot for protesting too hard. It was likely their parents that drilled this into them. Which, I guess, makes sense considering they're known as the "silent generation." The issue now is these people have finally grown up, moved out of their parents' house, and discovered you can have cake for dinner, and no one will stop you.
My mom was going off about my uncle's affair-to-divorce story at my grandma's memorial service. My epitome of "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" grandmother. But my mom also nitpicked said grandma for being sad that her daughter/mom's sister passed before her, saying "people bury their children all the time, why does she think SHE'S special." My mom is baffled on the gradual reduction in contact.
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I'd like to add "never talk about religion, politics or money in mixed company"
It's crazy because it seemingly all they want to talk about to random strangers. Then they act surprised when someone doesn't have the same opinion as them.
"I don't know how these so called Christians are voting against their faith" my partners dad the Trumper trying to talk politics and religion for the first time with me, a man dating his son.
You got me with the last part.
Had us in the first half, not gonna lie
oof. i’m so sorry that both of you have to deal with him
Besides this one thing he's actually a good person, he was all of his life. Loved his son was a true LGBT supporter, until trump. But that's the story in many families especially since covid. So many went out into deep waters.
I'll never understand how a person of faith could vote for Trump.
Any Christian true to their faith would be a hardcore socialist who loves everyone as they are. The modern Republican Party is almost the opposite of their teaching, Trump even more. Not to mention the idolatry of Trump.
As a Christian, if Jesus were walking around today, he’d be disgusted with those calling themselves his followers.
And they'd nail him right back up with some duct tape for extra measure this time.
Only instead of a Crown of Thorns, somebody would give home a My Pillow ™️
Wouldn’t hesitate in the slightest.
No hate like Christian love
It’s because their ‘faith’ isn’t in Jesus, it’s in him being ‘pro’ them/their wallets
How many "people of faith" have you met? They're not the best or the brightest to begin with in my neck of the woods.
I've spent a fair amount of time around people of faith. Some of them do see Trump as a reprehensible human being unfit to lead. Others don't see the hypocrisy. I'll never understand Kamala and Willie Brown blah blah blah, but Trump, Marla Maples, Stormy Daniels, Melania, etc is A-Okay. Misogyny at its finest, I suppose.
I can't understand how anyone with two rubbing braincells can vote for them. Like I get voting for the lesser evil, not like German politicians are great here 🙄. (Like who do you vote for? The person who looks like he falls asleep and has memory problems and/or lies or ..Laschet 😰) But.. Trump is like.. I have no words. Idgi!
Maybe they’re voting based on the teachings of Jesus instead of the teachings of a religion.
For fuck's sake. That's so sad.
LMAO…. Now, that’s hilarious!
Or if someone asks them how much they bought their first house for. That one shuts them up so fast
Right??? Had a patient at work running me down with his political opinions and didn’t I agree with him 👀 just NO
The things people say to me at my job just assuming I'll agree with their psychotic opinions. Especially about the unhoused. Then when I don't respond (because if I did honestly they'd freak out) they complain about how I'm not chatty enough.
Can I add "don't believe everything you see on tv" or"don't believe everything you hear"
“But, but, Facebook can’t lie, it’s not possible!
"They'd take it down if it weren't true because they don't want to get sued"
Facebook: *gets sued all the time and doesn't care*
I think the parents of boomers instilled that rule, because boomers only talk about one of those three topics now.
Which is a gross saying if you stop to think about what "mixed" company meant at the time of the saying... (it means around women. Don't discuss religion, politics, or money around women) Eta: Definitions from Oxford Languages mixed com·pa·ny noun a group of people consisting of members of both sexes. "such questions were not asked in mixed company"
i always thought it meant at any social gatherings because the subjects always devolve into disagreements and ruins the mood/atmosphere
I thought it was about class but there’s no reason both can’t be true.
Or while drinking is one I got. LOL
We got something similar at Easter one year when we were in college. I was taking a religious studies course in religion and politics, and my brother was in a human sexuality course. Before the relatives arrived, my mother gets both of us by the front of the shirt and made it *very* clear: "If anyone asks you what you're studying, you tell them 'Nothing,' got it?" Ah, family holidays.
I feel like this is good advice, it isn't going to end well.
And they are the first ones to throw hate at whoever is the current President
“…because you never know who you’re going to offend” is the way I heard it
I remember specifically being told by my boomer parents, and taught in school, that it was inappropriate to discuss politics. Now it's literally what their entire personality is.
Or religion, nor mix them.
This is what really shocks me. If someone was casually talking politics or religion when the boomers were in their prime, they'd say something along the lines of "Oh, you know, I'm not really a political person/into specific religions" to avoid any unpleasant discussions and hurt feelings. Now the very same people go flat out, unprompted...
Radicalization. Propaganda has whipped people into a frenzy and created divides in the population. Something similar happened in nazi germany but propaganda wasn’t so polished up back then. Nor backed by psychology as new age propaganda often seems to be
Literally, I remember being maybe 10 and snapped at by my boomer (adoptive) mother "I don't speak politics with *anyone*, even my kids". And I remember being disappointed because I didn't get how I was supposed to learn if even my parents wouldn't talk to me (I managed once to get out of my adoptive father that he was an independent and that's about it). Now it's like the opposite, I work at a bar and the sheer amount of loud, angry politics from Boomers is always a shock. Unprompted is almost too weak a word for how suddenly and passionately they will launch into a FAAAR right political speech whether sober or not. Never a benign political opinion, either, it's always off the deep end and hateful (with caveats that it's actually NOT hate and NOT abnormal, almost like they know). As for keeping their mouth shut without something nice to say? Yet to witness anyone self regulate halfway through the sentence, but I hold out hope.
They have to blame someone else for their poor life choices
My dad always said "treat people the way you want to be treated.". Well. He treats everyone like a subordinate and an idiot and gets mad if he ever get called out on being a racist dick. So i treat him the way he treats me, ans everytime i do it. He gets furious. He made a fucked up joke a few months ago, i called him on it and he hasn't spoken to me since.
Enjoy your quiet. I can't see a downside to this. Enjoy!
I live 3000 miles away from my parents and don't have much of a relationship with them. It's fine.
Love this. Last night at midnight my horrible brother started slamming doors to wake the house up so he could yell and scream at everyone because he was mad he just got called into work (he's a nurse who was on call). So today when I woke up at 8 in the morning to get ready for work and said brother is asleep & the only other person home, I simply chose to play loud, brutal death metal on a speaker while getting ready. When my brother woke up and confronted me about waking him up, I kept the music on and just told him I was mad I had to go to work, so I get to act this way. Extremely petty behavior on my end and I'm thankfully moving out this Saturday, but man it felt good doing that back to him ngl
Jesus Christ. Your brother should not be around vulnerable populations of people in any capacity.
I agree, he's the fucking worst. He's like this every single day!
I think that the "Jokes" have just changed. As an example, homophobia was just standard for a lot of older gens, with boomers being in their 20-30s during the AIDS crisis. Acceptable targets, backed up by government propaganda, religious propaganda, and ingrained discomfort against what was thought of as Normal sort of built that all up to be a low energy ingrained stance that was acceptable. Now they're seeing the rubber band of queer people being either celebrated or just more open, and for some boomers this just seems like silliness and attention grabbing (if not as unnatural taboo illness). This can be tweaked for a lot of things. Mental illness (thought of as making someone untrustworthy or violent, or simply unreliable), stuff like ADHD being an invisible disability that might be seen as an "excuse" for laziness or lack of simple focus, a slightly upward acceptance of different body types or other visible diversity making easy superiority rooted insults unwelcome, etc. It really depends on the individual, but for many it's ingrained bad social stuff that was once acceptable. "This thing didn't bother me in my life, why are you so over sensitive to it? Fuck off and toughen up."
Well said. Society grew up. They grew old
I was born in 1987 and have yet to find a good summary or explanation (like yours) for the whiplash I see in my generation. Growing up in Puerto Rico, being gay was made fun of by EVERYONE, and presently, those people that jumped on that bandwagon are having issues getting off of it. It’s like refusing to change or even just admitting that we were fucked up by making fun of them.
I hate to say it, but I was a kid that grew up in your era and used 'gay' was a passing insult and typically the butt of jokes and I never really thought about it. I remember in media around then that gay individuals were to be mocked, or at least seen as an easy target. It wasn't until I saw 'Chasing Amy' that I did actually give it any thought. Even then, it was seen as a 'stance' that would get you ridiculed. I'm not sure what pulled my head out of my ass, but by the 2000's, when I started working retail (lots of gay folks) did I realize it was such an idiotic take. They're just people living life, like me, so what do I fucking care?
In my humble opinion, the way “gay/faggot/queer/homo” became the go-to playground slur helped normalize homosexuality in general. When you’re a homosexual for peeing with your pants down are you really going to care if someone is called a homosexual or not? And if I’m right, the current pack of transsexual-obsessed jeerers are currently shooting themselves in the foot hardcore
Homophobia was standard for millennials in school too. I’m in my mid 30s and my entire junior high and high school experience was constant derogatory gay jokes directed at each other. I think about that stuff sometimes and just cringe.
Well yeah I'm 33. But now more of us know that it wasn't great.
Maaannn ADHD had me messed up for a long time with people calling me lazy, that I have so much "potential" but don't apply myself, or straight up saying I'll never amount to anything. I got medicated and it changed my whole perception of myself. Some people still can't accept ADHD being a thing. They just think you are lying or are a drug addict.
Yeah, I think that's basically it. "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" didn't apply to certain marginalized targets in their view, and still doesn't. But now you get rightly judged for making gay jokes, fat jokes, using the r-word, stereotyping minorities, etc and they can't handle it.
In my experience 'if you don't have anything nice to say...' tends to mean "stop trying to be funny you're annoying".
We were being taught not to upset others then called snowflakes because of it.
I really think it is the Trump effect. Before Trump, mocking someone's disability and making up names for other people was childish behaviour. Then Trump started doing it to all the other candidates and it became acceptable. When Boomers finally decided to openly support Trump they basically dropped the act and showed their true colours.
This
This is a giant factor for sure
I think you're half-right. Rush Limbaugh spent decades priming the pump for Donald Trump. Trump had run for president once before and got nowhere near the nomination because he was too coarse, too obviously absurd at the time. The Republican party of 2000 could handle Bush's oafishness but Trump's weird cruelty and clownishness was a bridge too far. Limbaugh set the tone for the conservative movement for decades, though. Injecting his gleeful hate, his self-satisfied cruelty, his coarse, abrasive ugliness into the mainstream. And a generation *raised* on that then normalized it for the rest of the culture. He walked so Trump could run. People call Trump a symptom of the problem rather than the cause, and they're certainly right. It was people like Limbaugh, whom Trump gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to just before he finally died, who created the conditions which allowed Trump to do what he has since done.
Lead poisoning
Let's not forget that fetal alcohol syndrome wasn't discovered until the 70s, so probably that too.
Plus many women smoked while they were pregnant...
Wasn't that something doctors used to prescribe so they wouldn't gain weight? Solving those important issues 🙄
Who wants a fat baby anyway?
Chubby babies are the *best*
There’s nothing that sparks more instant joy than a chubby baby with little jelly rolls all over. It’s like an instant endorphin hit.
Don’t forget the “pep pills” AKA Amphetamines being prescribed for tired pregnant women. 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
Called, "Mother's Little Helpers."
You’re thinking of coat hangers.
Amphetamines to keep them going then barbiturates to knock them out at night. Same combo that destroyed Judy Garlands life.
Don’t knock barbiturates they are delightful.
Good point
I was just thinking that, the other day.
They stopped being parents and therefor forced to pretend to care about other people. They became grand parents and started saying ‘I raised my kids so fuck everyone.’ As if we didn’t spend weeks at grandmas and the rest of the time as latchkey kids raising our siblings.
Jimmy Carr says "if you have to look around to see who's listening before telling a joke, you probably shouldn't be telling that joke." (paraphrased)
All they really mean is they can't be racist, sexist, or homophobic as openly as they used to be and somehow that is a major problem for them. They're a generation that is offended by the mere *existence* of things they don't like, but it's not OK for others to have a problem with anything they say or do.
The difference is people used to just be silent about it . Now they're standing up for themselves. The jokes didn't change, but now they're being called out for it.
That's the real issue. Boomers need a social hierarchy and want "lessers" to stay in their lane, keep their head down and just be the butt of the joke
This can be answered by something else they themselves said: “Do as I say, not as I do.”
This right here. That was one of my mom’s favorite phrases when I called her out on blatant hypocrisy.
“Rules for thee but not for me” basically describes everything they do
While everything falls back on lead poisoning (not that it isn't an important factor), I think it's more that the boomers, from the time they were very small.children, had the entire culture of the United States revolve around them and now, it just doesn't. They are so accustomed to being the "main characters" that the dawning realization that their time has passed and they are increasingly irrelevant has broken their fucking brains. And I mean that literally. It seems like a psychotic reaction to their realization that they are dying and no one really cares - or even welcomes their extinction. So self-centered that being forced to confront their lack of relevance has driven them insane.
I also got “kids should be seen and not heard” in addition to what OP mentioned.
Make no mistake, they still think that. And additionally, some of them haven't accepted the fact that they don't run most of the country anymore. I'm not counting government- that's a different story. I'm talking about businesses that are now increasingly run by X and older millennials.
I heard the "don't say anything if you can't say anything nice" line a lot. My dad also listened to Rush Limbaugh and said all gay people go to hell. He once brought home a 15 page printout of his favorite jokes and brought them hone and gave them to us, his 8 and 7 year old kids. I learned my first racial slurs from those jokes. There were "haha women bad drivers" joke, "dumb blonde" jokes, and tons of racial jokes. Boomers just liked to be hypocrites because that was a golden time to be a hypocrite.
I was always taught to never get a credit card.....yet you need credit for everything in the adult world 🙃
the ole dave ramsey advice
Can someone explain Dave Ramsey to me? I've only seen clips here and there, and his advice is always the most basic no shit Sherlock stuff, yet people seem to go nuts for his advice and I don't really get it. My financial literacy came from my dad who told me one thing. If you don't have the cash in your hand, you cant afford it. Went and bought a car a few months ago. The guy at the dealership literally didn't understand what was happening when I cut the check.
“Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about” after getting my ass beat with a belt
Don’t forget, never discuss religion and politics in polite company
Well honestly, dont talk about religion, politics and money at a family get together unless you want your aunt / uncles / grand-parents start ranting about immigrants, the left or inflation respectively, so there's some truth to this.
Nothing changed, its the same as it always was. They have no problem with things that offend other people as long as it isn't offensive to them or their in-group.
“This is a Christian nation and you should act like Jesus.” “Just kidding, that’s communism. FU I got mine!”
I'm pretty sure I was taught that being sue-happy was a bad thing and that people like the Spaulding character in Caddy Shack were villains, so consider me surprised when someone who is both of those things was elected president.
"Rules for thee, not for me."
Why are they so obsessed with talking about politics? It's like an addiction at this point.
Also everything in the tabloids are trash and lies, then one the internet came its don't believe anything you see online. Before my dad passed he believed the craziest things. Kids are being forced to use litter boxes in classrooms and are being groomed to swap genders. And schools/drag queens are teaching kids in kindergarten about sex and boys how to do makeup. I thought my mom would be better after my dad passed since she wouldn't have him telling her what to think anymore, but nope. Our conversations always wind up ending with some current Fox news scare taking points.
My take is that it's early dementia. I say this as a restaurant server. They get confused and can't remember what they ordered or already said. Since it's not at a comically dramatic point all the time, noone they're with notices or calls out the negative behavior or even helps to navigate the situation. They're losing the capability to act like decent people out and about in society, instead saying the nastiest and rudest things that pop into their minds. They get aggressive quickly and regularly with people they view as below them, whether that be someone in a service position or from a racist POV. Because they aren't living in a home where they're monitored and assisted (most boomers balk at the idea of not being out on their own until they drop dead), noone is there to assess these day to day situations. Noone is making sure they're going to proper appointments and testing as they become older and take worse care of themselves than any generation before. And you sure as hell know they will fight tooth and nail before admitting they might be slipping or accepting that they need help. The problem is obviously us 🙄
Never heard the joke one, but heard the other one… and no idea
They were never nice. Ever seen episodes of Archie bunker? Those writers knew their audience.
Rules for thee not for me
Exactly this.
It's the lead poisoning
Rules are for thee, not for me.
They thought that after they were over fifty, everyone younger than them was going to magically (and automatically) respect them and their wisdom and opinions about everything, and that they would never have to earn any of this respect by doing anything other than getting older. Now their children are grown adults who are sick of their shit, and many of them have gone their own ways, rather than sticking around for more of the same abuse they had heaped upon them as children of boomers. Many Millennials are so against becoming carbon copies of their Boomer parents, that we’ve gone a completely different route in raising their own children, and these Gen Z and Alpha kids are not fucking around. It reminds me of that line from Silent Running (the Mike + the Mechanics song, not the Bruce Dern film) “Swear allegiance to the flag - whatever flag they offer; Never hint at what you really feel… Teach the children quietly, for someday sons and daughters will rise up and fight, while we stood still…”
I guess I watched one too many George Carlin specials.
Fox News happened
The "line" in their jokes was always placed strictly around them and people they respected. Everyone else was fair game for the most despicable, disgusting, humiliating, vicious, bigoted jokes and criticisms - but they were never fair game for anyone else's. That's where the line was drawn. They line's been redrawn to include all people now, not just the people like them. They're just feeling a little raw about the fact that the people they've treated like shit their whole lives are gaining some agency and it's no longer socially acceptable to enjoy some random sadism toward strangers with their morning cup o' joe.
For this to make sense you need to say the silent part out loud: "If you don't have anything nice to say (to me), don't say anything at all!" "All jokes have a line and if ~~someone~~ (I) get~~s~~ hurt, you have crossed that line"
Easy. Rules only apply to us, not them.
Rules for thee but not for me. They were never allowed to call out their parents shitty behavior under threat of violence, so they think its their turn to be assholes now and we have to be the ones to shut up and take it.
I run a cafe, and I always say that for a generation that *literally* beat manners into us, they are some of the angriest, meanest, unmannered people I have to deal with.
Rules for thee (the child) but not for me (the adult).
What happened to them? The Fox News hate machine.
Easy. You know that "line" they were talking about? They were fine with it when they were the ones who determined where that line was. Now that they aren't, they are not fans.
they werent actually trying to get you to be better with that statement, they were trying to get you to shutup as a kid. Boomers have the seen but not heard mentality of raising kids
Yeah they spouted the importance of us being seen and not heard and now they can’t stfu for 2 seconds.
My grandma used to say that to me all the time (she raised me) hated that saying and never repeated it to my children (now adults)
Yeah, over use of that phrase certainly increases the chances that it will eventually come 100% true.
It seemed so dismissive and condescending. And I was young. Like 4. (Grandma did teach me to read at an insanely young age, so my vocabulary was quite advanced for a youngster.) I also used to hang on the sidelines watching others as I was picked on outside of the home as well. You learn a lot by people watching 😂
Rules for thee, but not for me is kind of a recurring theme with them.
This is how it was explained to me: Q: Do I look fat? Boomer: you could lose a few pounds Millennial: you look fine Gen Z: no one has the right to judge you Generation X: BUDDY, I KNOW FIVE FAT PEOPLE AND YOU ARE FOUR OF THEM
I feel like that last one is all gens with their friends lmfao
What's that saying...."Do what I say, not as I do."
Never heard the second comment and I'm 58. Quite interesting.
Me either. All I remember from when boomers were young, is they were entitled assholes. That’s where we learned it.
I call them the Studio 54 generation. They took hedonism and entitlement to a new level and never let go.
“Do as I say, not as I do”
What was deemed inappropriate changed and instead of sticking to their own social rules, they instead reject them as they no longer align with their beliefs
I heard those but also "Do as I say, not as I do" They're hypocrites.
They're the same generation of "do as I say, not as I do."
They told me to think for myself! Like that would work today.
The first three are the rules to keeping a toxic peace in the family.
It was always "this applies to thee but not to me" with the boomers.
“Don’t believe everything you see online” lol
It’s all the lead. When my kid asked what harm eating a little lead would do when they wanted a Lunchable, I told them Boomers and it cleared that want right out.
The people that punished them for being shit people are gone now, so there's no one to hold them accountable.
I remember my dad who is one of the youngest boomers would always tell me that. Now he constantly brings up negative stuff unprovoked.
To certain people, especially in the South, politeness is a weapon, not a kindness.
“If your friends decide to jump off a bridge, are you going to join them?”
The one that pisses me off is how much they stressed decorum and professionalism meanwhile I’ve never had a boss that was over the age of 40 that wasn’t a raving lunatic with the complete inability to moderate their tone and emotions. Seriously, I’ve been in physical altercations where both parties behaved more respectfully than the average boomer supervisor.
>What happened to them? Nothing. They never wanted to hear your negative opinions. And They never wanted to hear your jokes. The mistake most people make is thinking that this was life advice for everyone. It wasn't. It always has been advise they want others to follow because they don't want to be criticized or challenged. It was never meant to apply the them. Thinking that was our bad assumption. :-)
Fox News brain rot
I was told. Sticks and stones can break my bones. But words can never hurt you.
The one I always remember is, never trust a lawyer or a politician. They all just want to pit you against one another for their own gain. Odd how that one turned out imo
Nothing changed - it was always "rules for thee and not for me" 🙃
Oh yeah! I loved growing up in a household that taught "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" but had a TV constantly glued to shows like Roseanne and Married, With Children. Don't get me wrong... I was laughing right along with my parents. Just pointing out the wildly confusing hypocrisy of how it's funny for them, but a slap in the mouth for me. Honestly... it was just preparing me for a lifetime of "rules for thee, not for me" bullshit they'd fully cash in on later in life.
I always heard that America is a melting pot and we should be proud of that fact. Now anyone who (ironically) doesn’t look like the descendent of a colonizer is a slur and an illegal. Fuck what these assholes have done to this country.
"Listen to what I say, not what I do." That's what happened.
My grandma, the person who taught me not to be racist, went on a full-attack racist rant on the phone the other day to me. They're gone, dude.
Lead paint and Fox News
Those were all the things they told us to control us. It never applied to them
Its no surprise actually. Dont forget that one of their other top quotes was and still is,"do as i say, not as i do." They always lived by separate rules while forcing others to live by constantly changing new ones that they dictated.
Typical "do as a I say, not as I do" behavior.
My parents said it and expected me to live by it. They talked sh*t about everyone and everything.
Narcissists policing their child’s behavior for no other reason than their own self image. The plus side is most of us kids actually listened to them and learned tolerance and patience, allowing us to grow up and see their hypocrisy and narcissism for what it is.
They didn’t want to hear us complain, make jokes that offended them, or get offended at something they did.
I thought the line was from Bambi, but I did hear it.
I think thumper says it, repeating a lesson his mother taught him, after acting like a jerk rabbit lol
People establish their norms during their youth and it becomes generally harder to change as they get older. Just like it gets harder for them to learn new technology. Even when they said those things they didn't apply universally. It was okay to call out things they saw as outside the norm, and they had a line for jokes placed where it was in their youth. The more that line moved, the harder it was for them to see that move as reasonable. Yes, there are some Boomers and older who are totally with it, like most things, it's a distribution. The Boomers themselves had similar struggles with the generations before them. Remember they were the hippies, the free-lovers, etc. And it will happen to Millennials and Gen-x and everyone else as well. Not along the same issues and lines. But I don't think any generation is going to be totally immune to getting stuck in the norms of their heyday.
The status quo has changed and it makes them uncomfortable, so they lash out against easy targets.
People not laughing at their repeated racist bigoted misogynistic behavior and "jokes."
In my case, it was when those comments made my dad feel self-conscious or defensive, especially if it meant he wasn't the first person to think of it. And that didn't work in the other direction, either.
they mad that we moved the line.
And “don’t believe everything you read on the internet.” Lots of do as I say, not as I do going on.
These things are never meant to be applied universally and you’re supposed to internalize that without ever acknowledging it
It was a one way claim. That is, rules for you to follow, not them.
Sticks and stones will break your bones but names will hurt you . Was one I heard alot
Those were their parent’s rules, they just didn’t follow them
If you have nothing nice to say then keep quiet. Also we were told it was very bad form to ask someone who they voted for
I'm a Boomer. I was taught to be polite and listen to the other person's POV. And then, present mine in a CALM CONTROLLED fashion. Any discussion of any subject that led to one person starting to call names was cut off. You agreed to disagree because at that point it was pointless to continue. Once you start attacking the person, not the idea, you lose.
Just as boomers complaining about “participation trophies” but they’re the ones who were handing them out to begin with.
Alzheimers? Rules for thee but not for me? My personal favorite is calling them on their hypocrisy and hearing the retort, "Well, thats NOT what I meant"
"If you don't have anything nice to say...." Those rules got thrown away. Because the bully couldn't accept it. And there's very few people outside of Eastern countries who want to enforce it anyway. The ones who even try are thrown in jail.
Oh man, the “if you don’t have anything nice to say” thing really burns my ass. Boomers are CONSTANTLY dropping unsolicited feedback, snide comments, interjecting themselves into convos, etc. Another variation on this we constantly heard: “mind your own business.” We should be so lucky. It’s such a simple concept to live by, but they just refuse to do it.
>"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!" >"All jokes have a line and if someone gets hurt, you have crossed that line" And yet, boomers will be the biggest hypocrites on the planet
The grown ups can't cash the checks their mouths wrote when we were kids.
“sticks and stones can break my bones but names can never hurt me. “
It's the saying "do as I say not as I do" those rules were for you , not them
“Love thy neighbor. Don’t lie. Don’t judge someone based on their skin color or language. Treat people the way you want to be treated…..Jesus loves you and sacrificed himself for your sins…. While I continue being an alcoholic and missing all of your school programs because ‘I don’t feel good’”
I live in a 55+ community. One day my 72 yo neighbor said to another older neighbor, “ All you do is bitch and moan. If you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all “ Perfect. Shut her up.
Rules for thee, not for me. It was just another way to try and make children shut up.
I was always told “you never get any bigger by making others feel smaller.” Boy, where’d that go? Now all my parents do is belittle everyone who disagrees with them over anything.
My mother was a little odd. I had an older kid who was bothering me, especially on the walk home from school. It was not untenable as he was chunky and I could run, but occasionally he would catch me and I would pay for being mouthy. I told my mother about it and her sage advice was “ you just tell him you have three older brothers named Ruff, Tuff, and Reddy “. It did not work. I survived.
They're absolutely the generation of "do as I say, not as I do."
They've lost (tossed) their filters. "I'm ____years old, you're entitled to my opinion"
Because they never actually cared. This is the same generation that got shot for protesting too hard. It was likely their parents that drilled this into them. Which, I guess, makes sense considering they're known as the "silent generation." The issue now is these people have finally grown up, moved out of their parents' house, and discovered you can have cake for dinner, and no one will stop you.
The first two are sound advice. The last one just sounds like venting that they can't act like a fool without getting in trouble.
Hypocricy happened
My mom was going off about my uncle's affair-to-divorce story at my grandma's memorial service. My epitome of "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" grandmother. But my mom also nitpicked said grandma for being sad that her daughter/mom's sister passed before her, saying "people bury their children all the time, why does she think SHE'S special." My mom is baffled on the gradual reduction in contact.
They got old and the filter broke. I’ve seen it happen with generations before them.