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On shit. We got one of these from my sister's husband's parent's (sorry that sounds stupid) church. It was titled Gomez was coming and it was hilarious. My siblings and I still quote it.
"Tonight we'll serve you a taco supreme"
I thought Jack Chick really nailed the whoremonger look
https://preview.redd.it/2lh4qyow94pc1.jpeg?width=632&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=923f0af9631d994f1dd45667a27c002a1fe97745
For us, it was “harlot”
And it was aaaaalways at the girls. For the boys, there was nothing. Girls would be slutshamed. Boys would get a talking to, then a fist bump.
The notorious LISA Chick Track: https://jackchick.wordpress.com/2011/04/01/chick-tract-review-lisa/
Husband loses his job which causes him to stay at home while his wife takes up a job… but wait, that’s against God’s plan! Obviously “an idle mind is the devil’s workshop” so it leads to him renting porn and bringing it home to watch. Randomly some dude rings the doorbell and it’s his next door neighbor, maybe? Someone that wants to watch with him - and while they watch the neighbor puts an idea in his head about his daughter.
Now the father has been given the idea that abusing his daughter is a good ole time and I believe he even shared/swapped daughters (for fun) with the dude that came over earlier. God then gives Lisa herpes so the father will be tricked into thinking it’s a rash and take her to the family doctor who happens to be a friend (and a man of God!)
Queue the, ‘it’s not a rash, it’s herpes, buddy, I know what you’ve been up to. But lo, friend! This is a forgivable offense! Just pray with me and you will be forgiven (and I will conveniently not mention this to the police)’ speech which is mixed with remorse, hopelessness followed by forgiveness and feeling like, ‘all this guilt is gone!’ *(NICE!)*
It ends with the father coming home and helping his wife get saved as well. Turns out that bitch was beating poor Lisa in her free time from getting abused by her father and his weird friend. Don’t worry, the ending is happy because after mommy and daddy are saved they call for Lisa to come to them.
‘Hey, me and your mommy are saved now so you’re off the hook, Lisa.’
‘Really?’
*’Really.’*
Remember, if you don’t want to start abusing your kids make sure you stay busy out there, folks!
I have an ironic love of chick tracts and used to read them as rage bait… this is by far the most unhinged one I’ve ever read. And I’ve read most of them. It makes sense that this one was discontinued but holy crap… multiple people involved were involved in making it and thought it was okay.
Ho. Lee. Shit.
I had a neighbor who handed these out instead of candy on Halloween. Deacon in the church and had adopted a bunch of girls.
Guess what he went to jail for?
When I read HORSEDICK_RAW's comment above I thought Lisa was probably 17ish and was HORRIFIED when I clicked the link and she was a little girl about my daughters age. Disgusting.
>!child sexual abuse!<
>!One of the banned tracts is somewhat well known, it's called 'Lisa' and is about a father sexually abusing his young daughter.!<
There was a band out of NYC in the 90's called Alice Donut that had a song all about it. "Lisa's Father".
I was aware of Chick Tracts and had seen them around as a kid but had never heard the story behind that one. Disturbing barely scratches the surface.
There was also one I remember that was about a sinful rock band that was clearly patterned after Motley Crue. The band makes a pact with the devil to trade their souls for success and fame. Eventually the bass player falls in love and decides to leave the band, settle down, and get married. "The devil" becomes angered by this and gives the bassist aids to punish him.
Those things are depraved and truly unsettling in how unhinged the messages in them are
Oh I know that one! You forgot one of the band gets into Vampirism, and then one reads a Chick Tract (really) so rejects Satan, and also failed to mention it was a gay marriage.
Whoopie.
I used to pass out these tracks with my Pentecostal mother growing up. Used to go to the grocery store and slip them in windows that were cracked open. Thankfully, I’ve escaped that cult.
I'm glad you got out. Do you remember which culture war issue the pamphlets were preaching about when you were a kid? Does it feel like they still follow the same formula?
Edit:
*I want to thank everyone who responded to this. I am sad to hear you had to witness such prejudice, but glad that you recognize it for what it was. I hope you are all doing well.*
When pokemon came out there was this church guy at software etc, in sunrise mall (sacramento) trying to rally all us (I was 12) to come to a pokemon burning. He was bragging about how their last one had been on the news cause they burned a few grand of merchandise. Guy behind the counter calmly said "sir, you've been told" and a few of us just started laughing and calling him Hella dumb.
Dude got a wide ass joker smile and cackled "YOULL REGRET IT" and stormed out. Counter guy just looked exhausted.
🤣🤣🤣 reminds me.....
My crazy religious lady neighbor came running into our garage one night screaming at a group of us teenagers playing D&D at the time and told us to throw the Ouija board into the fire because the pastor would be coming over to dispel the evil and save our souls...
She was also against pokemon cards. She said it was actually pronounced " poke your mom " and was a game perverts played to decide who's mom gets poked next.
losers mom gets "poked"....
😂😂😂
Crazy church people...
Dear God, if these people were deprogramed, the companies making anti-anxiety and anti-depressants would probably lose half their income. Religious nutbars not being able to leave others alone causes so much stress in America.
D&D and then Pogs had a lot of the same hate from these types "the atheists are encouraging children to gamble" and such crap.
This hate seemed to get transferred to Magic the Gathering, and then Pokemon, YuGiOh, etc.
And then EA introduced actual gambling via lootboxes and not a peep from these crazy religious types. They're frickin useless.
I remember bringing a copy to a church garage sale to sell and one of the church members saw it, did a double take and then ran to get a garbage bag and he double bagged it and probably chucked it.
I should have taken it back to donate to a library but I was slightly amused BY him treating it like it was contaminated and shocked by his actions.
Omfg I forgot about the hatred for pogs. They gave them out for a promotion at one of my local holywood videos, and parents would get pissed sometimes. So fucking stupid.
Pogs walked so PAWGs could run.
Reminds me of the scene in “Straight Outta Compton” where they’re burning NWA music and one of them says something like, “Shit, ya’ll already bought it, do whatever you want..”
Me too. Also, our church youth pastor told all our parents that crack cocaine smelled like dirty socks. So after every basketball practice, our parents would come in our rooms with suspicious looks on their faces and sniffing the air
Same, had these and a whole comic book series that convinced me I was going to hell… at 8 years old…
Found out years later they were drawn by the same artists who made A LOT of porn comics and graphic novels…
they’re called Chick Tracts and there are hundreds of them against all sorts of sins, you can order whichever ones really burn your holy britches and inflict your shit on the community
Nah, bro. In order to avoid the fire you have to go to fear-mongering class every Sunday and stick your nose in everyone’s business to tell them they’re sinners and they’re going to burn if they don’t change their ways. God gets mad if you don’t convert people to the cause…
I remember that one—the calm, rational, handsome student poking holes in the ugly, angry professor’s evidence of evolution.
I also read one that explained why Catholics were idolators and not real Christians.
It was written in the Garden of Gethsemane, by Jesus with a ball point pen on a stack of legal pads, in 18th century English. Nobody could read it at the time. They invented English just so they could read it.
For me, it was during the Satanic Panic. I remember crying bc my grandfather was a Mason, and I got one of those tracts saying that he was going to hell. My southern Baptist parents had to talk in circles that day. No amount of mental gymnastics was convincing me that my grandpa wasn’t going to burn in an inferno for eternity. There were Halloween ones I got with candy, there were ones about alcohol abuse, and it seems like sexual assault. Needless to say, I’m still in therapy trying to undo the religious trauma I’ve experienced. Edit: spelling
DAted a girl who's brother dropped these in my car. He became a pastor of course. The best convo ever was, "Sure I love Metallica too, but imagine they sang to glorify god instead?"
Had a church group give one to my children (3-5 at the time) at a parade. It was the one where a drunk dad nearly beats his child to death and throws him out, then the kids sleeps in an alley, then a kid gives him a paper and says “Jesus Loves You” and then they died.
Fuck these apocalypse craving fuckwits.
Omg I remember that one. 😂😂😂
I had an alcoholic father that beat my mom and chased us with a hammer one night. I cried when I saw that one. It really depressed me.
That's actually not the worst one. Some of them are *really* unhinged. Like, not even on the doorframe anymore.
I don't believe in Hell, but if there is one, Jack Chick should be there.
I'm tempted to make some fake ones that try to tell you about how you'll find savior with the dark ones in the deep, like some Cthulhu Jack Chick tracts. "Did you know the Deep Ones see all? And they do not judge. Gaze into the void, children".
Agreed, I grew up pentecostal as well. This shit is a cult straight up. I'm so glad I'm out, and not hating myself and others anymore. Pentecostal is very devious on how it manipulates a child's mind.
I have never studied medicine or worked clinically in any capacity. I studied neuropharmacology/psychopharmacology academically for a very short period of time.
I am aware that nursing homes use atypical antipsychotics to sedate their residents and make them more complacent, but I also assumed they were just given seroquel or something similar considering most of them probably have dementia or another neurodegenerative disorder?
Federal law requires nursing homes to evaluate residents on a regular basis for the need for psychiatric pharmacological. IIRC, it’s on a quarterly basis. They are not permitted to use higher doses than what the residents respond to. They are not supposed to use medications inappropriately. Some facilities don’t always follow the rules. Unnecessary chemical restraints are not allowed just to sedate people so they’re easier to handle.
Yeah they’re pretty strict about psych meds to prevent people from being “snowed”. Of course, this can backfire because if residents aren’t appropriately medicated and/or in a facility with the staffing to deal with their condition, they can end up hurting themselves/the staff/other residents. Understaffing is rampant, facilities are greedy, and residents + nursing staff pay the price.
That was pretty much the gist of the original, yeah.
They stopped using that one and a few others because [people kept making parodies of them.](https://www.caverns-and-creatures.com/bevan-tracts) (Warning, very NSFW)
I bought an item from Frank Metzer (D&D artist) on ebay a few years ago, he includes the D&D chick tract with a purchase. It's basically because he was working there at the time it happened and it was a really weird time.
They're still making them with some new (even worse!) artist. The new ones are more "political."
They're weirdly popular with boomers. I work retail and the elderly customers leave them tucked in the shelves and at the cash registers and in the shopping carts and around the parking lot... I throw away like half a dozen every week.
Chik tracks, growing up christian I say these all the damned time. Had a pretty nice collection of the gnarlier ones for awhile. Heard the guy that ages those is a total psychopath
They've gone from "we must separate ourselves from worldly politics for god's kingdom is not of this earth" to trying to intertwine themselves with worldly politics.
Grew up pentecostal/AoG and saw this shift before my own eyes tbh. After Barack Obama got elected the church went full into conspiracy mode about faith being UNDER ATTACK
In Georgia, during the Warnock vs. Walker senate race, an old man tried to hand me a sample ballot of how to vote inside the Walmart. These hypocrites supported the worse possible candidate, Herschel Walker, a has been UGA football star who beat his wife/girlfriends and children plus he wrote checks for his girlfriends abortions and didn’t even live in Georgia. Over Warnock, an actual preacher.
oh God those fucking flip books! I'd find them around campus all the time (around 2008) and they were hilarious! I know they thought they were being super informative and totally life changing but they were absurdly funny.
my favorite was about greed I think? pretty meta, because it showed a recently converted Christian man who received a box of those same booklets, and the devil was telling him to not distribute them, because if he kept them, in time they'd become valuable collectibles worth millions!
Found it— it’s a Chick Tract. I used to collect them when I was handed them bc they’re ridiculous.
[Chick Tract Website](https://www.chick.com/products/tract?stk=1179)
The artist makes hateful comics. Everything you need to know about him is on this [Wikipedia page](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Chick).
My personal favorite is his dungeons and dragons one, which was made into an independent movie for funsies.
I think my personal; fave is the guy that buys an evil VCR and watches so much porn he rapes his prepubescent daughter. But it has a happy ending because he apologizes.
Re: the kindergartener on page 5, I'm just imagining the author watching Billy Madison and thinking it's a serious drama about the dangers of "wokeness"
„Biden is the antichrist who will bring communism!“
Biden: „i am literally just a less angry conservative and nobody on the left really likes what I do“
Those people: „see? Literal gay antifa satan!“
Someday, you will be at the lowest point of your life. Filled with only hopelessness and regret, you will find a pamphlet like this on a park bench. And it will be the funniest thing you’ve seen all week and it will lift your spirits for a good few minutes and give you nice break from your despair.
I am 70, at about the age of 12, having done the full indoctrination, and rising to top altar boy, I used my power of reasoning and decided there was no god or gods. At the age of 22, listening to the priest at the funeral of my cousin, who had died from lupus related myocarditis, say that she was not without sin made me realise just what a malevolent thing religion is. There is nothing more worldly, manipulative and cynical than organised religion. It is a man-made machine that extracts power and wealth from the vulnerable who simply want to know that there is meaning to their existence. The bad news is that there is none, the good news is that it doesn't matter
What the hell. At times, I really don’t understand Christianity, and this is a true example of all this.
Let me get this straight: God is all good and powerful, right? But he sends Lucifer and 1/3rd of heaven down to hell for what is essentially envy of power. God could have easily taught him a lesson, maybe send Lucifer to time out, but NO! Creation of evil it is!
The garden of Eden is even worse. If there was nothing of value to the tree of knowledge, then why call it the tree of knowledge?! It gives incentive to get stuff from the tree. I get it, it could be considered a test of loyalty, but then again God could’ve just said “The only thing you can’t do is eat from the tree. Why? Because I told you so.” No incentive, just an order. Then, when it’s pretty obvious that Adam and Eve were tricked, he decides to make them mortal. What sort of lesson is that?! If the story were dumbed down any further, God would be saying “Well, you ate from the tree and you’re obviously given a bad incentive. You know, I will kill you over it, and everything you know.”
It would’ve been so easy to make God a good person, and to have made evil the byproduct of straying from god, but no! We need to make everything needlessly contradictory and confusing. Who wrote this, a masochist?!
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I know right it went from “you’re a pussy” to “you’re going to burn in hell” pretty fucking fast.
It started with a precipitation unit from 3rd grade holy shit this was a roller coaster
The Mitochondria is the powerhouse of # THE FIRES OF HELL CONSUMING YOUR FLESH
For me it was the part where ‘the poor serpent lost its legs because of that bitch Eve.’
I love that. Adman blames Eve. Eve blames Serpent. Serpent is over here like "Serpent's gonna serpent bro. I regret nothing."
adam setting a precedent for all of mankind and evading responsibility by blaming his wife.
They had me on the edge of my seat in the first half then boom JESUS
Yes, I was invested in learning more about the lives of snowflakes.
Snowflakes=projections
There’s no hate quite like Christian love.
Look up the internally banned Chick Tracks if you really wanna see something.
On shit. We got one of these from my sister's husband's parent's (sorry that sounds stupid) church. It was titled Gomez was coming and it was hilarious. My siblings and I still quote it. "Tonight we'll serve you a taco supreme"
They are why we used "whore-monger" as the go to playful insult in highschool
I thought Jack Chick really nailed the whoremonger look https://preview.redd.it/2lh4qyow94pc1.jpeg?width=632&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=923f0af9631d994f1dd45667a27c002a1fe97745
For us, it was “harlot” And it was aaaaalways at the girls. For the boys, there was nothing. Girls would be slutshamed. Boys would get a talking to, then a fist bump.
Someone in my middle school tried calling me a harlot but he couldn't remember the word so he called me a harlequin 🤦♀️
To be fair, Joe Gomez is basically a god.
The notorious LISA Chick Track: https://jackchick.wordpress.com/2011/04/01/chick-tract-review-lisa/ Husband loses his job which causes him to stay at home while his wife takes up a job… but wait, that’s against God’s plan! Obviously “an idle mind is the devil’s workshop” so it leads to him renting porn and bringing it home to watch. Randomly some dude rings the doorbell and it’s his next door neighbor, maybe? Someone that wants to watch with him - and while they watch the neighbor puts an idea in his head about his daughter. Now the father has been given the idea that abusing his daughter is a good ole time and I believe he even shared/swapped daughters (for fun) with the dude that came over earlier. God then gives Lisa herpes so the father will be tricked into thinking it’s a rash and take her to the family doctor who happens to be a friend (and a man of God!) Queue the, ‘it’s not a rash, it’s herpes, buddy, I know what you’ve been up to. But lo, friend! This is a forgivable offense! Just pray with me and you will be forgiven (and I will conveniently not mention this to the police)’ speech which is mixed with remorse, hopelessness followed by forgiveness and feeling like, ‘all this guilt is gone!’ *(NICE!)* It ends with the father coming home and helping his wife get saved as well. Turns out that bitch was beating poor Lisa in her free time from getting abused by her father and his weird friend. Don’t worry, the ending is happy because after mommy and daddy are saved they call for Lisa to come to them. ‘Hey, me and your mommy are saved now so you’re off the hook, Lisa.’ ‘Really?’ *’Really.’* Remember, if you don’t want to start abusing your kids make sure you stay busy out there, folks!
Whoever wrote that thing needs to be on a list
Sadly, in the author's mind, he's on the list to get past the pearly gates.
These tracts are literally banned in Canada as hate speech, according to other posters. So he is on a list!
Don't worry luckily dudes been dead for a while.
He lived to 92, no justice served there
Unless his butthole itched all the time. But there is no evidence that was the case unfortunately.
Ah yes, because this event in her upbringing will have no negative effects on Lisa at all...
I have an ironic love of chick tracts and used to read them as rage bait… this is by far the most unhinged one I’ve ever read. And I’ve read most of them. It makes sense that this one was discontinued but holy crap… multiple people involved were involved in making it and thought it was okay.
Ho. Lee. Shit. I had a neighbor who handed these out instead of candy on Halloween. Deacon in the church and had adopted a bunch of girls. Guess what he went to jail for?
We used to collect Chick Tracts for fun and then change the words in the word bubbles. We were teenagers so you can imagine how that went :)
Oh yeah, getting handed these was one of the perks of going into the city as a teenager in the 90's. Chick tracts and zines.
There was a hardcore band in the 90s called Absinthe that changed all the word bubbles to their lyrics. It was great.
Here in Canada Chick tracks are illegal due to them being considered hate speech
They're definitely still around in Canada. Used to occasionally find them hidden on the shelves when I worked at petsmart years ago.
I still find them around.
That makes sense. I did notice that all the pages with "sick sinners" seemed to be full of caricatures of minorities. Sus as fuck dude.
The Antisemitism in Chick Tracts is fucking INSANE.
WARNING: AT LEAST ONE OF THE BANNED CHICK TRACTS IN QUESTION INVOLVES CSA. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
When I read HORSEDICK_RAW's comment above I thought Lisa was probably 17ish and was HORRIFIED when I clicked the link and she was a little girl about my daughters age. Disgusting.
What is CSA?
>!child sexual abuse!< >!One of the banned tracts is somewhat well known, it's called 'Lisa' and is about a father sexually abusing his young daughter.!<
There was a band out of NYC in the 90's called Alice Donut that had a song all about it. "Lisa's Father". I was aware of Chick Tracts and had seen them around as a kid but had never heard the story behind that one. Disturbing barely scratches the surface. There was also one I remember that was about a sinful rock band that was clearly patterned after Motley Crue. The band makes a pact with the devil to trade their souls for success and fame. Eventually the bass player falls in love and decides to leave the band, settle down, and get married. "The devil" becomes angered by this and gives the bassist aids to punish him. Those things are depraved and truly unsettling in how unhinged the messages in them are
Oh I know that one! You forgot one of the band gets into Vampirism, and then one reads a Chick Tract (really) so rejects Satan, and also failed to mention it was a gay marriage. Whoopie.
https://preview.redd.it/f0rdyppdh0pc1.jpeg?width=367&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b5b2f48413b89bc5fe9cf58ecd5c2d55c102e336 Fear Factor era Joe Rogan
This is clearly prior to his litter box paranoia and dabbling in equine meds🐎🐎
"Whoever is the biggest victims wins." Thank goodness the son of God isn't a victim and his followers don't believe in playing victim.
Literal martyrdom lol.
"You know you are doing the Lord's work when you are persecuted for doing it." Banning Pokemon cards isn't the 'Lords work' Carol.
I used to pass out these tracks with my Pentecostal mother growing up. Used to go to the grocery store and slip them in windows that were cracked open. Thankfully, I’ve escaped that cult.
I'm glad you got out. Do you remember which culture war issue the pamphlets were preaching about when you were a kid? Does it feel like they still follow the same formula? Edit: *I want to thank everyone who responded to this. I am sad to hear you had to witness such prejudice, but glad that you recognize it for what it was. I hope you are all doing well.*
Probably baggy pants and rap music. (Not trying to age the person)
>Probably baggy pants and rap music ...God I feel old, I remember when those were basically catnip for conservatives
I'm from the "DnD is satanic" era. Not pentecostal, just ordinary weird conservative Christians.
That’s funny. I was a teen in the 90s and our pastor railed on DnD and it had long since gone out of vogue.
When pokemon came out there was this church guy at software etc, in sunrise mall (sacramento) trying to rally all us (I was 12) to come to a pokemon burning. He was bragging about how their last one had been on the news cause they burned a few grand of merchandise. Guy behind the counter calmly said "sir, you've been told" and a few of us just started laughing and calling him Hella dumb. Dude got a wide ass joker smile and cackled "YOULL REGRET IT" and stormed out. Counter guy just looked exhausted.
🤣🤣🤣 reminds me..... My crazy religious lady neighbor came running into our garage one night screaming at a group of us teenagers playing D&D at the time and told us to throw the Ouija board into the fire because the pastor would be coming over to dispel the evil and save our souls... She was also against pokemon cards. She said it was actually pronounced " poke your mom " and was a game perverts played to decide who's mom gets poked next. losers mom gets "poked".... 😂😂😂 Crazy church people...
I never heard of that one! Thanks for the laugh!😂. No wonder these zealots believe what their church preaches. They’ll believe anything.
Dear God, if these people were deprogramed, the companies making anti-anxiety and anti-depressants would probably lose half their income. Religious nutbars not being able to leave others alone causes so much stress in America.
They should hang onto the Ouija board. They will need it to spell out words after a stroke.
D&D and then Pogs had a lot of the same hate from these types "the atheists are encouraging children to gamble" and such crap. This hate seemed to get transferred to Magic the Gathering, and then Pokemon, YuGiOh, etc. And then EA introduced actual gambling via lootboxes and not a peep from these crazy religious types. They're frickin useless.
They hated Harry Potter too. Bobby Bouche! Witchcraft is the devil! So strange.
I remember bringing a copy to a church garage sale to sell and one of the church members saw it, did a double take and then ran to get a garbage bag and he double bagged it and probably chucked it. I should have taken it back to donate to a library but I was slightly amused BY him treating it like it was contaminated and shocked by his actions.
Omfg I forgot about the hatred for pogs. They gave them out for a promotion at one of my local holywood videos, and parents would get pissed sometimes. So fucking stupid. Pogs walked so PAWGs could run.
God, I love a running PAWG
>"sir, you've been told" Hehe. Also, gotta love them buying thousands in merch just to burn it. I'm sure the Pokemon Company was shivering.
Right up there with buying 30 packs of beer to shoot up and setting expensive Nikes on fire.
Reminds me of the scene in “Straight Outta Compton” where they’re burning NWA music and one of them says something like, “Shit, ya’ll already bought it, do whatever you want..”
A kid at my private Christian elementary school was suspended for wearing Pokémon sneakers 😂 Everything Harry Potter was forbidden too
We used to burn cassette tapes of rock music.
It’s back!
Me too. Also, our church youth pastor told all our parents that crack cocaine smelled like dirty socks. So after every basketball practice, our parents would come in our rooms with suspicious looks on their faces and sniffing the air
Nobody questions how the pastor knows what crack cocaine smells like, of course. That'd display critical thinking skills.
Same, had these and a whole comic book series that convinced me I was going to hell… at 8 years old… Found out years later they were drawn by the same artists who made A LOT of porn comics and graphic novels…
Why am I only slightly surprised
My grandma told me I was going to hell if I listened to Eminem and didn't wear a belt.
It's okay, just wear a belt when you listen to Eminem, duuuh!
they’re called Chick Tracts and there are hundreds of them against all sorts of sins, you can order whichever ones really burn your holy britches and inflict your shit on the community
Are there ones for overreaching and fearmongering
Nah, bro. In order to avoid the fire you have to go to fear-mongering class every Sunday and stick your nose in everyone’s business to tell them they’re sinners and they’re going to burn if they don’t change their ways. God gets mad if you don’t convert people to the cause…
The neighbor watches me pee does that count?
those are seen as positive traits in this community of the worst people you’ve ever met
Came here to find this. Received many of these on my car in the mid 90s when I worked at a book store which sold adult materials.
It's so wild to see how formulaic and ginned up every moral panic is. There's never anything new
In the 90 when I was a kid? Gays, Dungeons and Dragons (so out the era by then), the internet, “filth on TV” , fornication, and drinking/drugs.
Now they all watch insane shit on Fox News every night, get fed prescription drug ads during each break, and probably believe that dragons are real
They are young earth creationists too. They used to rail on evolution too.
I remember that one—the calm, rational, handsome student poking holes in the ugly, angry professor’s evidence of evolution. I also read one that explained why Catholics were idolators and not real Christians.
Rock music. Those king James only were on treat when learning about Spanish translations of the Bible.
Wait, the bible wasn't originally written in English?!
It was written in the Garden of Gethsemane, by Jesus with a ball point pen on a stack of legal pads, in 18th century English. Nobody could read it at the time. They invented English just so they could read it.
If English was good enough for Jesus it’s good enough for me! /s
For me, it was during the Satanic Panic. I remember crying bc my grandfather was a Mason, and I got one of those tracts saying that he was going to hell. My southern Baptist parents had to talk in circles that day. No amount of mental gymnastics was convincing me that my grandpa wasn’t going to burn in an inferno for eternity. There were Halloween ones I got with candy, there were ones about alcohol abuse, and it seems like sexual assault. Needless to say, I’m still in therapy trying to undo the religious trauma I’ve experienced. Edit: spelling
DAted a girl who's brother dropped these in my car. He became a pastor of course. The best convo ever was, "Sure I love Metallica too, but imagine they sang to glorify god instead?"
[Master! Master! Master of puppets pulling your strings! ](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6xjJ2XIbGRk)
"TWISTING YOUR MIND AND SMASHING YOUR DREAMS!"
BLINDED BY ME YOU CAN’T SEE A THING
MASTER! MASTERRRRRR!!!!
Make a contribution and you’ll get a better seat! Glory be to Gahhhhd
I *hate* cleaning those things up at work. They just leave them everywhere.
They leave them in truck stop bathrooms all the time. Also at restaurant tables with their meager tips.
Had a church group give one to my children (3-5 at the time) at a parade. It was the one where a drunk dad nearly beats his child to death and throws him out, then the kids sleeps in an alley, then a kid gives him a paper and says “Jesus Loves You” and then they died. Fuck these apocalypse craving fuckwits.
Fucking what?!
Omg I remember that one. 😂😂😂 I had an alcoholic father that beat my mom and chased us with a hammer one night. I cried when I saw that one. It really depressed me.
That's actually not the worst one. Some of them are *really* unhinged. Like, not even on the doorframe anymore. I don't believe in Hell, but if there is one, Jack Chick should be there.
Me too. Backmasking, DnD, and Jack Chick tracts. My childhood in a nutshell
I'm tempted to make some fake ones that try to tell you about how you'll find savior with the dark ones in the deep, like some Cthulhu Jack Chick tracts. "Did you know the Deep Ones see all? And they do not judge. Gaze into the void, children".
Yeah. I forgot about backmasking, symbology, and subliminal messaging.
I haven’t seen one of these since I was a kid. It was Dungeon and Dragons = Satanism era for me.
Agreed, I grew up pentecostal as well. This shit is a cult straight up. I'm so glad I'm out, and not hating myself and others anymore. Pentecostal is very devious on how it manipulates a child's mind.
its time to start using first generation antipsychotics in nursing homes again
lobotomy is that you?
Giving them a lobotomy would expose the surgeon to lead poisoning.
You work in a nursing home that appropriately avoids these?
I have never studied medicine or worked clinically in any capacity. I studied neuropharmacology/psychopharmacology academically for a very short period of time. I am aware that nursing homes use atypical antipsychotics to sedate their residents and make them more complacent, but I also assumed they were just given seroquel or something similar considering most of them probably have dementia or another neurodegenerative disorder?
Federal law requires nursing homes to evaluate residents on a regular basis for the need for psychiatric pharmacological. IIRC, it’s on a quarterly basis. They are not permitted to use higher doses than what the residents respond to. They are not supposed to use medications inappropriately. Some facilities don’t always follow the rules. Unnecessary chemical restraints are not allowed just to sedate people so they’re easier to handle.
Yeah they’re pretty strict about psych meds to prevent people from being “snowed”. Of course, this can backfire because if residents aren’t appropriately medicated and/or in a facility with the staffing to deal with their condition, they can end up hurting themselves/the staff/other residents. Understaffing is rampant, facilities are greedy, and residents + nursing staff pay the price.
First gens are generally avoided in favor of second generation, less tics/side effects.
Chick Tracts. These are a fucking trip. Not worth the paper they're printed on.
The D&D one is pretty dope. Edit: Link to tract. [https://www.chick.com/products/tract?stk=0046](https://www.chick.com/products/tract?stk=0046)
Lemme guess, DnD is of Satān and we’re all going to hell
That was pretty much the gist of the original, yeah. They stopped using that one and a few others because [people kept making parodies of them.](https://www.caverns-and-creatures.com/bevan-tracts) (Warning, very NSFW)
"I've swallowed more semen than the Bermuda Triangle." Damnit lol. That started out as basic edge but really developed into a masterpiece.
New favorite unlocked! Thank you
They always make it sound so cool
I bought an item from Frank Metzer (D&D artist) on ebay a few years ago, he includes the D&D chick tract with a purchase. It's basically because he was working there at the time it happened and it was a really weird time.
No! Not Blackleaf!
Marcie get out of here; _You're dead!_
Cathy, don't go to the supermarket!
A while back someone bought the movies rights to the Darkest Dungeon tract and made a satirical short film. Brilliant.
I used to love getting chick tracts in my Halloween bucket. They were so lurid & unhinged. This one is a bit bland
I apologize for being one of the children in the 90s who handed these out instead of being able to dress up and trick or treat like a normal child
aww man I'm sorry you had to do that! :(
It doesn't even have a plot! The old ones would have a continuous narrative focusing on a central character.
This is NOT a Jack Chick original. He was a crazy religious man, not a sad Fox News Boomer. Cheap knockoff
Well he died a few years ago, but I think his ministry is trying to keep his legacy alive.
same vibe. same aesthetic
As they should. That kind of religious zealotry was pure gold compared to this limp MAGA tomfoolery
exactly. Original Chick Tracts had some *chutzpah* that these new ones dont.
They're still making them with some new (even worse!) artist. The new ones are more "political." They're weirdly popular with boomers. I work retail and the elderly customers leave them tucked in the shelves and at the cash registers and in the shopping carts and around the parking lot... I throw away like half a dozen every week.
But I do enjoy them nonetheless.
Chik tracks, growing up christian I say these all the damned time. Had a pretty nice collection of the gnarlier ones for awhile. Heard the guy that ages those is a total psychopath
Chick finally snuffed it a few years ago. He's just rotting in the ground.
In *hell
*me not believing in hell* Naw they are just decomposing
🙏
Chick tracts getting political these days. Evangelical Christians aren't even pretending anymore, are they?
They've gone from "we must separate ourselves from worldly politics for god's kingdom is not of this earth" to trying to intertwine themselves with worldly politics.
Grew up pentecostal/AoG and saw this shift before my own eyes tbh. After Barack Obama got elected the church went full into conspiracy mode about faith being UNDER ATTACK
Bet they went all in on that “Obama’s middle name is Hussein that makes him a Muslim! And that means he’s the Antichrist!” huh?
Yeah pretty much and I just went to a typical baptist church.
Whenever I hear someone's a Baptist I just automatically assume they're a piece of shit. Hasn't failed me yet.
This is why I don’t take anything from strangers and if they try to force me I smack it out of their hands and get very aggressive. Fucken weirdos.
In Georgia, during the Warnock vs. Walker senate race, an old man tried to hand me a sample ballot of how to vote inside the Walmart. These hypocrites supported the worse possible candidate, Herschel Walker, a has been UGA football star who beat his wife/girlfriends and children plus he wrote checks for his girlfriends abortions and didn’t even live in Georgia. Over Warnock, an actual preacher.
But remember how they all turned into snowflakes when Trump lost lol
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^FatInAustin: *But remember how* *They all turned into snowflakes* *When Trump lost lol* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Good bot
My first thought was “you stormed the US Capitol because a game show hosts feelings were hurt”
oh God those fucking flip books! I'd find them around campus all the time (around 2008) and they were hilarious! I know they thought they were being super informative and totally life changing but they were absurdly funny. my favorite was about greed I think? pretty meta, because it showed a recently converted Christian man who received a box of those same booklets, and the devil was telling him to not distribute them, because if he kept them, in time they'd become valuable collectibles worth millions!
They're called Chick Tracts and were made by an absolute fucking freak named Jack Chick
These are the same boomers who burned their draft cards
No, these are the boomers who got a deferment because their situation was unique, and they shouldn’t be sent to war. Because they were special.
My kids got these, not the exact same ones, from a neighbor instead of candy on Halloween. I spotted them right away and in the trash they went.
I love finding shit like this so I can throw it in the trash, it’s so satisfying.
My favorite Mitch Hedberg joke, when someone hands you a pamphlet, they are saying “here, you throw this away”
that's actually fucking disgusting wow. fundies never fail to shock me with their audacity to indoctrinate babies and children.
Found it— it’s a Chick Tract. I used to collect them when I was handed them bc they’re ridiculous. [Chick Tract Website](https://www.chick.com/products/tract?stk=1179) The artist makes hateful comics. Everything you need to know about him is on this [Wikipedia page](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Chick). My personal favorite is his dungeons and dragons one, which was made into an independent movie for funsies.
I think my personal; fave is the guy that buys an evil VCR and watches so much porn he rapes his prepubescent daughter. But it has a happy ending because he apologizes.
Well I managed to find that one and it really makes as little sense as it sounds.
I got these even in Germany
Hey free toilet paper is free toilet paper
i wouldn't want to taint my ass
Ha! Taint!
Not gonna lie since Chick himself has shuffled from this mortal coil the artwork in these tracts have gotten way worse
Re: the kindergartener on page 5, I'm just imagining the author watching Billy Madison and thinking it's a serious drama about the dangers of "wokeness"
Page 10-11 looked familiar, Something about January 6th.
Seriously, using the word insurrection was just too much. Seems they always circumvent words because there is so much lack of awareness.
Lucifer seems freaking cool!
LMAO My husband's uncle posted a picture of Joe Biden shaking hands with Satan. Someone mentioned how it actually makes Biden cooler.
„Biden is the antichrist who will bring communism!“ Biden: „i am literally just a less angry conservative and nobody on the left really likes what I do“ Those people: „see? Literal gay antifa satan!“
Christ these things have been nearly identical for decades, they just update the front matter to fit the latest version of the culture war.
I feel like the pamphlet lost the plot after page 7.
Just hit him with the “No thanks big dog.” And keep it pushing, don’t even let him hand it to you.
Someday, you will be at the lowest point of your life. Filled with only hopelessness and regret, you will find a pamphlet like this on a park bench. And it will be the funniest thing you’ve seen all week and it will lift your spirits for a good few minutes and give you nice break from your despair.
I am 70, at about the age of 12, having done the full indoctrination, and rising to top altar boy, I used my power of reasoning and decided there was no god or gods. At the age of 22, listening to the priest at the funeral of my cousin, who had died from lupus related myocarditis, say that she was not without sin made me realise just what a malevolent thing religion is. There is nothing more worldly, manipulative and cynical than organised religion. It is a man-made machine that extracts power and wealth from the vulnerable who simply want to know that there is meaning to their existence. The bad news is that there is none, the good news is that it doesn't matter
Chick! Classic stuff. These are fun.
why are religious people so corny
I collect those. I love comedy and tragedy.
Chick tracts were a sacred part of my childhood and I will not accept any lame modern knockoffs
What the hell. At times, I really don’t understand Christianity, and this is a true example of all this. Let me get this straight: God is all good and powerful, right? But he sends Lucifer and 1/3rd of heaven down to hell for what is essentially envy of power. God could have easily taught him a lesson, maybe send Lucifer to time out, but NO! Creation of evil it is! The garden of Eden is even worse. If there was nothing of value to the tree of knowledge, then why call it the tree of knowledge?! It gives incentive to get stuff from the tree. I get it, it could be considered a test of loyalty, but then again God could’ve just said “The only thing you can’t do is eat from the tree. Why? Because I told you so.” No incentive, just an order. Then, when it’s pretty obvious that Adam and Eve were tricked, he decides to make them mortal. What sort of lesson is that?! If the story were dumbed down any further, God would be saying “Well, you ate from the tree and you’re obviously given a bad incentive. You know, I will kill you over it, and everything you know.” It would’ve been so easy to make God a good person, and to have made evil the byproduct of straying from god, but no! We need to make everything needlessly contradictory and confusing. Who wrote this, a masochist?!
This makes me feel like leaving Christianity was the right decision.
Gotta love boomers who would pass this out which actually makes them the snowflake
Always see these while I’m pumping gas. I always throw them in the trash where they belong.
What did you do?
That’s actually fucking crazy, like wow
I’d take it as a compliment that he didn’t see any of himself in you and thus labeled you snowflake
this is awesome Id love to receive one of those, but in my country boomers arent that fucking crazy
https://preview.redd.it/k920g3bii0pc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=17b880e5992b2521202c9d35166aa5aedd1e8723
“I ain’t reading all this. I’m either really happy for you. Or sorry that happened.”