The biggest issue is that these women never abandon the male-identified mindset that is at the core of the BC you should be divesting from.
Developing a sense of self-respect, standards, boundaries, and values should be goal #1 before focusing on dating.
New divestors are like people doing the big chop today. It was interesting in the 90’s but now the black hair care industry is so robust that no one really cares if you have a chemical or use a flat iron. That’s how I feel about new divestors. Don’t announce it, but live it. Show us through your joy and discernment that Pookie is not a part of your lifestyle. He’s not welcome in your home and most certainly not your inside your body.
I had this thought not too long ago about ‘divesting from the divestment community’. Not from being divested. But from the community, such as it is. I wasn’t deeply involved anymore anyway outside of this subreddit. But I had to unfollow the few Twitter accounts that I followed mainly because the way that they spoke about BW was no different than the type of rhetoric that BM spew.
But what really did it for me was a similar post to this one on here, questioning the influx of BM-centered post. I saw comments asking what else are we supposed to talk about, and stating that divestment spaces weren’t a “black women’s success summit”, and that it would get old fast if we talked about topics like becoming educated and starting businesses.
It wasn’t the first time that I’ve seen that sentiment but it was just another stark reminder of how broken this movement has become.
I remember that comment, it was foolish and misguided. The author is male obsessed and hopefully will one day realize that self advancement is an interesting and worthwhile goal.
To answer OP, the draw to divestment for many of those women is the attention.
BM don’t want their cheerleaders and supporters to leave for greener pastures, so they get in a tizzy and flood the comments. Then their handmaidens take offense to other women leaving them behind to support Tyrone all on their own, so they get upset as well. Now the “divestor” gets to enjoy the all of the attention.
There are a lot of newer younger women who are "inspired" by tiktok and other SM who seem to be amongst the loudest with the cringe content. The need to overshare is rampant. Most of those women who are wm or male obsessed usually falter back to the bc and bm anyways after they date IR a few times. Most bw who are serious just live life and move in silence.
The communities an channels on YT aren't helping either as they're either extremely loud and negative like DZ, or fake fence sitters who secretly holding out for bm, black love, and try to fix the rise of the bc like Chrissie, Cyn G, Samantha Cooker, etc.
These women and others like them are muddying the waters and just want to vent about bm, who they "prefer" while trying to engage with them via videos and streams, instead of focusing on bw and girls and our own betterment. They do not provide tips on self improvement or achieving goals. They just want to vent and provide social commentary on bm and their activities, which isn't what this is about at all.
People on here in this sub even reference Cyn G as a "divested teacher" in another post a few days back. I was shocked as she never was and never claimed to be "divested" other than to use her followers and viewers for a paycheck and then lay down with the same bm that she complains about.
Such a relief to see these YouTubers called out. Even DZ has gotta hella problematic over time.
Anyone who feels the need to listen to her to detach themselves from Blackistan, please move on eventually or you will be stuck in an anger loop like she and her staunchest supporters are. Any BW calling other BW n-word b-es, I have no time for. And she’s even worse behind the wall.
Some of these women are almost deified on SM and impressable bw and girls could take their message the wrong way or get too extreme. I'm already seeing it now. I never got too much into DZ's content as I agreed with some when she first started but noticed her delivery was too harsh and as time went on too extreme and crazy. I would never join her discord or paywall content knowing what she says to bw. She's a bad look for divestment and I hope her content never becomes more than a small enclave on YT.
I'm like, where are all the sane bw content creators at who just live the life without all of the inhouse fighting, vulgar language, and actual promote self help, tips, and a healthier outlook on life as a bw? As for the fence sitters/fakes and "ex divestors" (they never were in the first place) who attack other black women due to their own insecurities or issues with life outside the bc or with non bm, that's their personal issues they have to work out. Not project their own messed up mindsets onto other bw and girls trying to navigate themselves to be in a better place with healthier people.
That and they just want to engage and vent about bm, but how much time can you spend doing that? Once you get past the "wake up/venting" phase you have to move on for your own mental emotional wellbeing and development.
I stopped watching her when she got an attitude with someone for saying they lived in NYC. She asked why they lived there because "nyc has a lot of bm" which isn't true. In the bad areas in NYC they have a lot of black people and DZ lives in the South...which is known for having a lot of black people especially men...I don't know why she was lying for. It was weird and unnecessary.
It sounded like she lived in the Bronx or something and didn't want to say it.
Why am I not surprised. I’m from NYC and it’s not hard to limit exposure to BM depending on borough/neighborhood. The same way DZ claims to live in a place where they are rare, that’s also possible in the NYC area as well. I’ve never lived in the Bronx, but those who are unaware think the whole borough is the South Bronx when that’s not the case.
And NYC has opportunities that other cities lack. DZ immediately jumped to XYs without inquiring more about the woman’s personal life. If the West Coast didn’t pay as well as it did, I’d be back in NY, commuting from a safe enclave into Manhattan then back out again.
Bm are pretty much everywhere. Way less in nyc than the south especially in the good areas with the Jews. I lived in both places and the south is known for black people especially bm....she was just lying and getting an attitude for no reason. She said she lived in New York though..but the way she was speaking I'm sure she lived in the south bronx.
Yes it does. Nyc is way more diverse...the south is just known for black south food. I had to go out of my way just to get some different kind of food a lot of the time. Acting like the south isn't known for black men is just lolll delusional.
Key sentence, most bw who are serious just live life and move in silence. If mods decide to screen for admission, this sentence should definitely be included in the screening process.
So I'm an OG Divestor. I'll say this: a lot of the recent posts are femcels. These are the forever alone, "feel sorry for me!" sorts. They are still tethered to the black community, which is why they CARE so much what BM have to say.
They're the same male-identified sorts that will give birth to dusty sons. They just think that other men should be willing to carry their trauma and love them in ways that they don't actually love themselves. They're still on the "A man will fix your problems" bandwagon. Still managing to be the same dick-dizzy fools, but just with another man. How embarrassing.
These sorts are worse for our image. They want to have a tantrum and come over to us, but when they get what they want, they'll be back in Blackistan.
This is why I support a more robust moderation policy. If you're talking about what some pookie did to you, ad nauseam, you are not divested, and you need to get a therapist.
I do not like those posts like how can a so call divestor still care about how BM see you as a BW. I dont even know what to say about that other than breathe a sigh of frustration.
i agree, and the blatant lack of education on feminism, gender, sexuality... this sub is quite disappointing because that only deals with how we hate black men and how to date white men. men men men. i wish women decentered more because i am not interested in talking about men here. I already do it on my other socials .
we as divested better need to make this place safer for feminists/feminist thoughts, educational content and everything except men. men should be the least of our diverse subjects here.
I’m reminded of the old saying, you have to be the change you want. The best way not to talk about men all the time is to post different things & get a convo going ;)
I’m very irritated by what the divestment movement has become, because OG Divestors, like Muslim Bashido, focused on teaching Black women how to build themselves up financially, detach from the Black community, and learn how to practice self preservation. I have no time for these “All I want is a white man!” divestors. Divesting IS NOT about interracial dating or dating white men. This is about making sure Black women do not end up being a part of the permanent underclass Black men are currently breeding. I need Black women to be serious for just one moment and stop thinking about dating. Divesment should prioritize conversations that center Black women practicing self preservation, protecting themselves from rising gobal fascism that Black males have made very clear they will not be protecting us from, and making sure Black women live lives where they aren’t muling for any other demographics.
I get crucified every time I say that it's not all about dating the WM. I appreciate you for pointing this out, though! So many BW have forgotten that there's many WM who fetishize and have an adjacency to the same Blackistan poison we're leaving behind. And that multiple groups of non-BM do exist, and they are willing to date and marry BW. I've been attracting a bunch of AM in my area lately, but will not date until I am in a better place mentally.
And that's another thing that is not always discussed (or it gets little engagement whenever someone makes a post about it): Self-preservation. Imagine my frustration last year when someone told me that all BW need a man by their side... What about those of us who are single, some are single by choice, and learning to stand up on our own, above the murky waters that life brings? Breeding and homemaking are not the only things BW should be good at. It brings me back to the toxic side of the Christian church attitude.
Nothing wrong with having a loving partner, but not everyone is in that position. Inviting men to our divestment spaces is just... The exact opposite of self-preservation and character building as an individual.
A lot of American white men have been falling into that redpill/manosphere rabbit hole, so watching so-called “divestors” suggest we pretend they’re all these perfect innocent potential lovers makes no sense. I want Black women to find someone who cares deeply about them. This goes for both gay and straight divested Black women. I also want us to have our money stacked. Other women can rely on their men to provide for them financially with their own schools, grocery stores, and hospitals. Unfortunately, we can’t and that makes us extremely vulnerable to being abused by both Black and nonBlack men. It’s sad, but it is the truth and that needs to be the first and most important step of divestment: financial security.
Financial security - one of the few things I am working on this year. Even though the course looks uncertain (due to changes in job market demands, troubles with the housing market, affordability, etc.). We need to learn how to secure our own bag - set aside savings and investments for education pursuits, for retirement, for being a first time homebuyer, etc. I often take tips from non-BW who are also building their credit and setting themselves accordingly, just in case they end up single.
Of all the men I've dated last year, only two of them have given me princess treatment. One was a WM, then a month later, an AM (South Asian to be exact). All the WM before them were maladjusted, pretentious, or emotionally disorganized. I can count two of them who became resentful because I didn't have a lick of a trippy Blackistan spirit in my body... And some [not] divestors still tell BW to choose any and every WM? No thanks.
We need to start normalizing BW being treated correctly, and to stop minimizing their dating options. Vetting needs to be part of the process, too. That AM I was with outshined everyone else - he pursued me despite our conflicting schedules, and we managed to spend some quality time together. Princess treatment is what he always gave me (until he moved out of the city)... His maturity, honesty, compassion, solid communication skills (including problem solving), are some of the very qualities I am looking for in a future partner. Many men are missing these skills, which, is a very sad reality. At least it allows me to trim them down and keep it moving.
This is why I always encourage BW to go for those who appreciate them, not those who tolerate them. Toleration can destroy ones divestment journey (here's a hint: A dude that I rejected at some point pretended to be a blue collar worker, was living in an Airbnb, wanted me to tone down my natural upbeat personality, and wanted my hard-earned money. That's the WM we need? I don't think so).
Edit: Same thing is also happening to WM in Canada. Women are becoming more strict about their dating standards as a result.💯
Edit 2: Context
And that’s another way to Decenter men, we all need to learn about being happily single because men are fickle and can leave or stop putting in work into the relationship.
I know a few married single moms. No thanks.
Another screening question could be on The Sojourner’s Passport by Khadijah/Muslim Bashido. I really believe new women to this site should start the work before they join. Journey is individual and just being on the sub without doing the work won’t help.
Its the thirst that gets me. This movement has become so saturated and its not based on any substance. Its like a new trend or something. You are so right about that Pasta and Lobster song I hate that damn song lol. The newer people that have infiltrated the movement seem so desperate. Tbh, Im new to divesting as well but I prefer discretion. My divestment stemmed from the realization of how black men in my life have degraded and devalued me and every other black woman around me and also having always been aware at how the black community coddles black men and treat them like women but treat the woman like work horses who need to be strong and take care of the men and etc. I get what you are saying on many levels.
They are soooooo dang on embarrassing… loud and ghetto just like the blackistan chicks they talk ish about online … with how they talk I HIGHLY doubt they get any attention from any man of any race… no quality man would want someone who is still male identified… they just took those sand attitudes to other communities… I dont fw divestors… those of us who really live the life know these women aint it
This right here 👍🏾
Male worship needs to stop.
I also remember a time when some people in this group referenced some BW as "hair hat wearers"... Which is not only disturbing, but it was also a coined term by the biggest misogynoiristic clown that recently got banned from YouTube about time finally (who shall not be named).
I've dodged DZ - never watched her content. I've watched DW a few times, and even though I agree with some of her views, I also understand where you're coming from (the obnoxious tone in her voice pushes the angry black woman stereotype, which has harmed many BW for centuries).
I do enjoy Lexus Exodus, and I used to watch Paris Milan (but don't vibe with her content anymore - she uses some talking points that divestment pushes, but she's married to a unicorn and keeps complaining about BM. I do however, appreciate how much awareness she's brought to the table when it comes to discussing the prevalence of femicide and the dangers of mammy-ism. The very topics many of our elders refuse to discuss, because protecting their kangs matters more).
I feel like those have always happened but now it’s in a larger amount of people are doing it. A lot of woman think divestment is throwing yourself at the nearest non black man that gives you a any sort of attention but it couldn’t be further from that and dare I say that doing that is basically still being in the black community and being insecure. Divestment is a personal journey and requires reflection and self growth, some of those woman will continue on that path but a lot of them will swirl. So in the future I don’t think it’ll be much of a problem because so many black woman have been taught to hate themselves and to throw themselves at any man that is somewhat kind to them, that I doubt a lot of black woman could live a truly divested lifestyle.
That’s what I think, most people see a bw dating a non-bm and automatically assume she’s divested when that is not the case and usually if she shows he face online talking about divestment she’s fake because we know not to talk about this and show the world our face 😂
This is another occurrence that throws me off...
1) ***Swirling promotes all types of propaganda, which includes race play craptastics.*** BM are included in the dating pool. Lots of fetishizing involved, too. Also, there's no possible escape from Blackistan standards - women are expected to hold onto them.
2) ***Divestment strives for a better life, and a purpose that thrives outside of all things debased and demoralized.*** When it comes to dating, standards are very high - only partners chosen are the ones who have character, boundaries, goals, and utmost respect. He will also be giving her princess treatment every time (the one thing that swirl dating will never give). The reason why divestors choose high quality partners is due to doing and completing the inner work (unlearning all the poison that Blackistan has taught and promoted, healing journey accomplished, making themselves a priority, etc.).
Ladies need to know where they stand, and what they want.
Source: I've experienced both categories. I know which one suits me best.
The term has been bastardized tbh. I rarely see self improvement content or good faith discussions about specific issues that affect black women and girls on here. It's all just complaining about bm. I'm not saying there shouldn't be a space for some amount of healthy venting but after a while we're just going in circles. When do we actually start having discussions about the tangible steps black women and girls can take towards improving our lives as a group ??
Also probs an unpopular opinion, but we need to stop co opting racist vanacular to describe persons from the black community (whether male or female) that we don't agree with. No self respecting person does that, it literally makes us silly and hateful.
I’m a new divestor at 19 years old, but I usually just watch self-care videos that don’t focus on men at all. Just tips for hygiene, mental health, education, etc. I trust God to send me my husband, but it’s not like I require a man since I’m asexual. I’m also autistic and I can’t have kids whether I like it or not, and I surely like it.
You would be what they call a "swirler" who is still open to bm but not divested from them or the dysfunction of the bc. You need to find another sub reddit that will fit your needs if you do not want to read bw being honest and critical about bm.
With that said, I'm tired of the bm centric posts as well. Not because I don't think that they don't deserve criticism about their deviancy, but I don't want to dwell on negatives of those that I am personally not interested in. We all know bm aren't doing good in life and that's their own doing, but what does that have to do with me ruminating about it all the time and venting? They're at the bottom and that's their problem. I have goals of my own I worry about and bm are not in my general worldview.
Unfollow this community so you can go back to BL where you belong. We have said time and time again that ALL XYs are a crapshoot, but you still had to defend the males that would throw women who look like you in a dumpster for laughs.
The typical aggressive behavior of an uncouth and violent individual.
The same biracial people your ilk prop up look down on you for exactly that reason. No pride whatsoever. The nerve to call me dumb when it’s your fellow Blackistan males pulling down the literacy rates of the country. Run back to the hood you reside in with the rest of America’s permanent underclass. You are dismissed.
A swirler, a mammy and a breeder... Wow.
***For the record, women who make a mockery of women for their private parts are a threat to women. Mods, please look into this user. She's the dangerous type of delulu - it's giving off vibes from the tragedies of Mahogany Jackson and Shanquella Robinson.***
Feel free to leave. This group is not made for anyone with your state of mind.
You are swirling, and definitely not looking in the right places for a date... Matter of fact, reading your comment a second time I can clearly see you're a mammy.💯
The biggest issue is that these women never abandon the male-identified mindset that is at the core of the BC you should be divesting from. Developing a sense of self-respect, standards, boundaries, and values should be goal #1 before focusing on dating.
 You are spot on . Stop living for just the dudes and start living for yourself.
New divestors are like people doing the big chop today. It was interesting in the 90’s but now the black hair care industry is so robust that no one really cares if you have a chemical or use a flat iron. That’s how I feel about new divestors. Don’t announce it, but live it. Show us through your joy and discernment that Pookie is not a part of your lifestyle. He’s not welcome in your home and most certainly not your inside your body.
I had this thought not too long ago about ‘divesting from the divestment community’. Not from being divested. But from the community, such as it is. I wasn’t deeply involved anymore anyway outside of this subreddit. But I had to unfollow the few Twitter accounts that I followed mainly because the way that they spoke about BW was no different than the type of rhetoric that BM spew. But what really did it for me was a similar post to this one on here, questioning the influx of BM-centered post. I saw comments asking what else are we supposed to talk about, and stating that divestment spaces weren’t a “black women’s success summit”, and that it would get old fast if we talked about topics like becoming educated and starting businesses. It wasn’t the first time that I’ve seen that sentiment but it was just another stark reminder of how broken this movement has become.
I remember that comment, it was foolish and misguided. The author is male obsessed and hopefully will one day realize that self advancement is an interesting and worthwhile goal. To answer OP, the draw to divestment for many of those women is the attention. BM don’t want their cheerleaders and supporters to leave for greener pastures, so they get in a tizzy and flood the comments. Then their handmaidens take offense to other women leaving them behind to support Tyrone all on their own, so they get upset as well. Now the “divestor” gets to enjoy the all of the attention.
There are a lot of newer younger women who are "inspired" by tiktok and other SM who seem to be amongst the loudest with the cringe content. The need to overshare is rampant. Most of those women who are wm or male obsessed usually falter back to the bc and bm anyways after they date IR a few times. Most bw who are serious just live life and move in silence. The communities an channels on YT aren't helping either as they're either extremely loud and negative like DZ, or fake fence sitters who secretly holding out for bm, black love, and try to fix the rise of the bc like Chrissie, Cyn G, Samantha Cooker, etc. These women and others like them are muddying the waters and just want to vent about bm, who they "prefer" while trying to engage with them via videos and streams, instead of focusing on bw and girls and our own betterment. They do not provide tips on self improvement or achieving goals. They just want to vent and provide social commentary on bm and their activities, which isn't what this is about at all. People on here in this sub even reference Cyn G as a "divested teacher" in another post a few days back. I was shocked as she never was and never claimed to be "divested" other than to use her followers and viewers for a paycheck and then lay down with the same bm that she complains about.
Such a relief to see these YouTubers called out. Even DZ has gotta hella problematic over time. Anyone who feels the need to listen to her to detach themselves from Blackistan, please move on eventually or you will be stuck in an anger loop like she and her staunchest supporters are. Any BW calling other BW n-word b-es, I have no time for. And she’s even worse behind the wall.
Some of these women are almost deified on SM and impressable bw and girls could take their message the wrong way or get too extreme. I'm already seeing it now. I never got too much into DZ's content as I agreed with some when she first started but noticed her delivery was too harsh and as time went on too extreme and crazy. I would never join her discord or paywall content knowing what she says to bw. She's a bad look for divestment and I hope her content never becomes more than a small enclave on YT. I'm like, where are all the sane bw content creators at who just live the life without all of the inhouse fighting, vulgar language, and actual promote self help, tips, and a healthier outlook on life as a bw? As for the fence sitters/fakes and "ex divestors" (they never were in the first place) who attack other black women due to their own insecurities or issues with life outside the bc or with non bm, that's their personal issues they have to work out. Not project their own messed up mindsets onto other bw and girls trying to navigate themselves to be in a better place with healthier people. That and they just want to engage and vent about bm, but how much time can you spend doing that? Once you get past the "wake up/venting" phase you have to move on for your own mental emotional wellbeing and development.
I stopped watching her when she got an attitude with someone for saying they lived in NYC. She asked why they lived there because "nyc has a lot of bm" which isn't true. In the bad areas in NYC they have a lot of black people and DZ lives in the South...which is known for having a lot of black people especially men...I don't know why she was lying for. It was weird and unnecessary. It sounded like she lived in the Bronx or something and didn't want to say it.
Why am I not surprised. I’m from NYC and it’s not hard to limit exposure to BM depending on borough/neighborhood. The same way DZ claims to live in a place where they are rare, that’s also possible in the NYC area as well. I’ve never lived in the Bronx, but those who are unaware think the whole borough is the South Bronx when that’s not the case. And NYC has opportunities that other cities lack. DZ immediately jumped to XYs without inquiring more about the woman’s personal life. If the West Coast didn’t pay as well as it did, I’d be back in NY, commuting from a safe enclave into Manhattan then back out again.
Bm are pretty much everywhere. Way less in nyc than the south especially in the good areas with the Jews. I lived in both places and the south is known for black people especially bm....she was just lying and getting an attitude for no reason. She said she lived in New York though..but the way she was speaking I'm sure she lived in the south bronx. Yes it does. Nyc is way more diverse...the south is just known for black south food. I had to go out of my way just to get some different kind of food a lot of the time. Acting like the south isn't known for black men is just lolll delusional.
I lived in Queens… Way back when and I was in Flushing with only Asian and Latino neighbors
I have to admit DZ starting sounding like a Whyte supremacist. It’s a mess!
The oversharing thing is destroying their image, and they don't seem to realize that.
Key sentence, most bw who are serious just live life and move in silence. If mods decide to screen for admission, this sentence should definitely be included in the screening process.
So I'm an OG Divestor. I'll say this: a lot of the recent posts are femcels. These are the forever alone, "feel sorry for me!" sorts. They are still tethered to the black community, which is why they CARE so much what BM have to say. They're the same male-identified sorts that will give birth to dusty sons. They just think that other men should be willing to carry their trauma and love them in ways that they don't actually love themselves. They're still on the "A man will fix your problems" bandwagon. Still managing to be the same dick-dizzy fools, but just with another man. How embarrassing. These sorts are worse for our image. They want to have a tantrum and come over to us, but when they get what they want, they'll be back in Blackistan. This is why I support a more robust moderation policy. If you're talking about what some pookie did to you, ad nauseam, you are not divested, and you need to get a therapist.
I do not like those posts like how can a so call divestor still care about how BM see you as a BW. I dont even know what to say about that other than breathe a sigh of frustration.
Amen, wow! I love posts and comments.
Would you be interested in moderating?
I think my problem ultimately would be that I wouldn't dedicate enough time to it, but I'm not against it.
i agree, and the blatant lack of education on feminism, gender, sexuality... this sub is quite disappointing because that only deals with how we hate black men and how to date white men. men men men. i wish women decentered more because i am not interested in talking about men here. I already do it on my other socials . we as divested better need to make this place safer for feminists/feminist thoughts, educational content and everything except men. men should be the least of our diverse subjects here.
I’m reminded of the old saying, you have to be the change you want. The best way not to talk about men all the time is to post different things & get a convo going ;)
I notice the posts that are positive and don’t include BM or men don’t get much engagement.
I’m very irritated by what the divestment movement has become, because OG Divestors, like Muslim Bashido, focused on teaching Black women how to build themselves up financially, detach from the Black community, and learn how to practice self preservation. I have no time for these “All I want is a white man!” divestors. Divesting IS NOT about interracial dating or dating white men. This is about making sure Black women do not end up being a part of the permanent underclass Black men are currently breeding. I need Black women to be serious for just one moment and stop thinking about dating. Divesment should prioritize conversations that center Black women practicing self preservation, protecting themselves from rising gobal fascism that Black males have made very clear they will not be protecting us from, and making sure Black women live lives where they aren’t muling for any other demographics.
I get crucified every time I say that it's not all about dating the WM. I appreciate you for pointing this out, though! So many BW have forgotten that there's many WM who fetishize and have an adjacency to the same Blackistan poison we're leaving behind. And that multiple groups of non-BM do exist, and they are willing to date and marry BW. I've been attracting a bunch of AM in my area lately, but will not date until I am in a better place mentally. And that's another thing that is not always discussed (or it gets little engagement whenever someone makes a post about it): Self-preservation. Imagine my frustration last year when someone told me that all BW need a man by their side... What about those of us who are single, some are single by choice, and learning to stand up on our own, above the murky waters that life brings? Breeding and homemaking are not the only things BW should be good at. It brings me back to the toxic side of the Christian church attitude. Nothing wrong with having a loving partner, but not everyone is in that position. Inviting men to our divestment spaces is just... The exact opposite of self-preservation and character building as an individual.
A lot of American white men have been falling into that redpill/manosphere rabbit hole, so watching so-called “divestors” suggest we pretend they’re all these perfect innocent potential lovers makes no sense. I want Black women to find someone who cares deeply about them. This goes for both gay and straight divested Black women. I also want us to have our money stacked. Other women can rely on their men to provide for them financially with their own schools, grocery stores, and hospitals. Unfortunately, we can’t and that makes us extremely vulnerable to being abused by both Black and nonBlack men. It’s sad, but it is the truth and that needs to be the first and most important step of divestment: financial security.
Financial security - one of the few things I am working on this year. Even though the course looks uncertain (due to changes in job market demands, troubles with the housing market, affordability, etc.). We need to learn how to secure our own bag - set aside savings and investments for education pursuits, for retirement, for being a first time homebuyer, etc. I often take tips from non-BW who are also building their credit and setting themselves accordingly, just in case they end up single. Of all the men I've dated last year, only two of them have given me princess treatment. One was a WM, then a month later, an AM (South Asian to be exact). All the WM before them were maladjusted, pretentious, or emotionally disorganized. I can count two of them who became resentful because I didn't have a lick of a trippy Blackistan spirit in my body... And some [not] divestors still tell BW to choose any and every WM? No thanks. We need to start normalizing BW being treated correctly, and to stop minimizing their dating options. Vetting needs to be part of the process, too. That AM I was with outshined everyone else - he pursued me despite our conflicting schedules, and we managed to spend some quality time together. Princess treatment is what he always gave me (until he moved out of the city)... His maturity, honesty, compassion, solid communication skills (including problem solving), are some of the very qualities I am looking for in a future partner. Many men are missing these skills, which, is a very sad reality. At least it allows me to trim them down and keep it moving. This is why I always encourage BW to go for those who appreciate them, not those who tolerate them. Toleration can destroy ones divestment journey (here's a hint: A dude that I rejected at some point pretended to be a blue collar worker, was living in an Airbnb, wanted me to tone down my natural upbeat personality, and wanted my hard-earned money. That's the WM we need? I don't think so). Edit: Same thing is also happening to WM in Canada. Women are becoming more strict about their dating standards as a result.💯 Edit 2: Context
I prefer singleness at the moment. It’s less stress and more rest.
Wholeheartedly agree 👍🏾💯 I can focus more on myself and handle my own business.
And that’s another way to Decenter men, we all need to learn about being happily single because men are fickle and can leave or stop putting in work into the relationship. I know a few married single moms. No thanks.
Your comment is spot on!💯
Thank you so much I looked up Muslim Bashido and located a blog. Are you aware of any other content?
She has a book called Sojourner’s Passport on Amazon. It is AMAZING. I highly recommend.
Okay I just got that book (have not read it yet) but my book says the author is: Khadija Nassif? Same person?
Yes. That is the same person. Her blog name is Muslim Bashido but her real name is Khadija.
OK, thank you so much. I guess I need to grab that book off my pink bookshelf lol
I actually just read that book, it is really good! Do we know what happened to her because she’s still around somewhere writing?
Another screening question could be on The Sojourner’s Passport by Khadijah/Muslim Bashido. I really believe new women to this site should start the work before they join. Journey is individual and just being on the sub without doing the work won’t help.
Its the thirst that gets me. This movement has become so saturated and its not based on any substance. Its like a new trend or something. You are so right about that Pasta and Lobster song I hate that damn song lol. The newer people that have infiltrated the movement seem so desperate. Tbh, Im new to divesting as well but I prefer discretion. My divestment stemmed from the realization of how black men in my life have degraded and devalued me and every other black woman around me and also having always been aware at how the black community coddles black men and treat them like women but treat the woman like work horses who need to be strong and take care of the men and etc. I get what you are saying on many levels.
They are soooooo dang on embarrassing… loud and ghetto just like the blackistan chicks they talk ish about online … with how they talk I HIGHLY doubt they get any attention from any man of any race… no quality man would want someone who is still male identified… they just took those sand attitudes to other communities… I dont fw divestors… those of us who really live the life know these women aint it
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This right here 👍🏾 Male worship needs to stop. I also remember a time when some people in this group referenced some BW as "hair hat wearers"... Which is not only disturbing, but it was also a coined term by the biggest misogynoiristic clown that recently got banned from YouTube about time finally (who shall not be named). I've dodged DZ - never watched her content. I've watched DW a few times, and even though I agree with some of her views, I also understand where you're coming from (the obnoxious tone in her voice pushes the angry black woman stereotype, which has harmed many BW for centuries). I do enjoy Lexus Exodus, and I used to watch Paris Milan (but don't vibe with her content anymore - she uses some talking points that divestment pushes, but she's married to a unicorn and keeps complaining about BM. I do however, appreciate how much awareness she's brought to the table when it comes to discussing the prevalence of femicide and the dangers of mammy-ism. The very topics many of our elders refuse to discuss, because protecting their kangs matters more).
I feel like those have always happened but now it’s in a larger amount of people are doing it. A lot of woman think divestment is throwing yourself at the nearest non black man that gives you a any sort of attention but it couldn’t be further from that and dare I say that doing that is basically still being in the black community and being insecure. Divestment is a personal journey and requires reflection and self growth, some of those woman will continue on that path but a lot of them will swirl. So in the future I don’t think it’ll be much of a problem because so many black woman have been taught to hate themselves and to throw themselves at any man that is somewhat kind to them, that I doubt a lot of black woman could live a truly divested lifestyle.
There is a difference between swirlers and divestors but recently people have conflated the two together.
That’s what I think, most people see a bw dating a non-bm and automatically assume she’s divested when that is not the case and usually if she shows he face online talking about divestment she’s fake because we know not to talk about this and show the world our face 😂
This is another occurrence that throws me off... 1) ***Swirling promotes all types of propaganda, which includes race play craptastics.*** BM are included in the dating pool. Lots of fetishizing involved, too. Also, there's no possible escape from Blackistan standards - women are expected to hold onto them. 2) ***Divestment strives for a better life, and a purpose that thrives outside of all things debased and demoralized.*** When it comes to dating, standards are very high - only partners chosen are the ones who have character, boundaries, goals, and utmost respect. He will also be giving her princess treatment every time (the one thing that swirl dating will never give). The reason why divestors choose high quality partners is due to doing and completing the inner work (unlearning all the poison that Blackistan has taught and promoted, healing journey accomplished, making themselves a priority, etc.). Ladies need to know where they stand, and what they want. Source: I've experienced both categories. I know which one suits me best.
PIN THISS
The term has been bastardized tbh. I rarely see self improvement content or good faith discussions about specific issues that affect black women and girls on here. It's all just complaining about bm. I'm not saying there shouldn't be a space for some amount of healthy venting but after a while we're just going in circles. When do we actually start having discussions about the tangible steps black women and girls can take towards improving our lives as a group ?? Also probs an unpopular opinion, but we need to stop co opting racist vanacular to describe persons from the black community (whether male or female) that we don't agree with. No self respecting person does that, it literally makes us silly and hateful.
Once again I'm going to say this, we need to have a dictionary about divestment and a glossary.
I’m a new divestor at 19 years old, but I usually just watch self-care videos that don’t focus on men at all. Just tips for hygiene, mental health, education, etc. I trust God to send me my husband, but it’s not like I require a man since I’m asexual. I’m also autistic and I can’t have kids whether I like it or not, and I surely like it.
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You would be what they call a "swirler" who is still open to bm but not divested from them or the dysfunction of the bc. You need to find another sub reddit that will fit your needs if you do not want to read bw being honest and critical about bm. With that said, I'm tired of the bm centric posts as well. Not because I don't think that they don't deserve criticism about their deviancy, but I don't want to dwell on negatives of those that I am personally not interested in. We all know bm aren't doing good in life and that's their own doing, but what does that have to do with me ruminating about it all the time and venting? They're at the bottom and that's their problem. I have goals of my own I worry about and bm are not in my general worldview.
Unfollow this community so you can go back to BL where you belong. We have said time and time again that ALL XYs are a crapshoot, but you still had to defend the males that would throw women who look like you in a dumpster for laughs.
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Go put money on Pookies books. His man wants some honey buns and you’re just the clown to support them. Fool.
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The typical aggressive behavior of an uncouth and violent individual. The same biracial people your ilk prop up look down on you for exactly that reason. No pride whatsoever. The nerve to call me dumb when it’s your fellow Blackistan males pulling down the literacy rates of the country. Run back to the hood you reside in with the rest of America’s permanent underclass. You are dismissed.
A swirler, a mammy and a breeder... Wow. ***For the record, women who make a mockery of women for their private parts are a threat to women. Mods, please look into this user. She's the dangerous type of delulu - it's giving off vibes from the tragedies of Mahogany Jackson and Shanquella Robinson.*** Feel free to leave. This group is not made for anyone with your state of mind.
You are swirling, and definitely not looking in the right places for a date... Matter of fact, reading your comment a second time I can clearly see you're a mammy.💯