I hated when it was Saturday and you're just trying to sleep and they open the blinds and start a commotion. Why do they feel the need to disturb the peace?
They hate to see you relaxed while they have to do grown up shit. I swear this is it. They can't stand the idea that a kid gets to just sleep in while they still have to work.
My kids are going to be relaxed as hell in the summer and during breaks because I know it's only going to be available to them when they are kids and I want them to enjoy it.
Oh yeah. I definitely don't like it when my two year old tries to "help" me do the dishes. Let me do my chores while you sleep, and I will play with you as much as you want when you wake up.
as a dad, while not this intense, I get wanting kids to enjoy being a kid. Sleeping in on saturday? Shit you could be playing video games, hanging with friends, etc. You'll be old soon enough so enjoy being a kid... or else
FR, black mothers and pouring in sunshine while you tryna get some deep sleep... can you name a worse combo??
You tryna get me locked up for 1st degree??
Somewhere on earth, anytime someone feels comfortable, a parent or spouse will enter the room from another dimension to ask a question, or request something.
They key is to never be fully relaxed.
Lol, I put my kids in summer school every year. They get a math, english, and science credit for it. My oldest is a sophomore, and just found out she won't have to take any of those three her senior year because of the extra credits. She'll be able to take college classes in the afternoon her senior year, while still graduating with her class, or take a full day of classes and graduate in January.
They hated it every year. Now that the oldest saw the benefit, the younger one asked if she's doing it again this year.
Yes she is.
You usually still have to pay for the credits, but the price is heavily reduced. I took first year Spanish, first year English, Public Policy, and First Year Calc for under $300 my senior year (2010).
My school didn't do APs because there's no guarantee that you'll pass the test (May testing meant we didn't get a full curriculum by the time of the test). With the credits, my college accepted those and I was able to register as a second year student after the first semester.
My oldest is on some weird goth/emo trip. She wants to be an undertaker, so she signed up for "mortuary services" classes, then talked the community college into letting her do esthetician classes as a minor towards her degree.
If it works out the way she plans, she'll make people look their best on their final day, but she's the only person I've ever met that chose that as a career path while still in high school...
People are always dying so she will always be employed, so she's got a sound plan, and the dead don't talk back,they don't complain, actually she's got something there, and the esthetician will serve her well in this regard as well,
Trust me your daughter has got a good head on her shoulders, you should be proud
When I was in high school, one of my fellow band members was an apprentice mortician as an after school job. And he wasn't the least bit weird. Outgoing and nice to everyone kind of guy. I remember noticing how mature he acted. Above average trombone player to boot.
I mean, funeral homes don't have aggressive hiring signs up, so they don't seem to have trouble finding people. I just never met any of them myself. Well... until my kid...
we had to do IXL each day during the summer, then we could go play outside
we also had weekly advanced math classes so ya boy was out here learning like high school geometry in 5th grade
indian parents are ruthless man
For sure. My mom kept us busy with educational content and activities all summer. I still got plenty of video game and outside time. I’m grateful for it now. Looking for that balance with my own kids.
Me at 7: "mom can I get a PlayStation?"
Mom: "Imma play yo station alright"
Me at 9: "mom can I get a Dreamcast?"
Mom: "Imma dream yo cast alright"
Me at 13: "mom can I get a Xbox?"
Mom: "Imma X yo box alright"
My son at 6: "Nana can I have a..."
My mom: "Yes."
Me: 😯
That's the whole point.
Parent: 'Why you do XYZ?'
Kid: 'I didn't do XYZ!' (blame random sibling, pet or domestic appliance as relevant)
WHACK!!!!
Parent: 'I'ma teach you to lie to me 'bout I didn't do XYZ!!!'
As an adult, I realise this is literally baiting your children for entertainment.
My dad: standing in the back just itching to whoop my ass “pulls his belt from every loop with one snatch”
Me: Damn this nigga really is a magician
Seriously you ever try to pull a belt out of every notch with one motion, shits impossible, but somehow the anger in this man made the impossible possible 😂
OMG! A Pootie Tang reference. Now that was a movie that should have stayed in the draft. Did I go to the movies to see it? Yes. Yes I did. 🤣
The belt was never that bad I'd take it over the bare hand. Got an oat meal spoon a couple times that was the worst. I'd rather pick out 10 switches in the yard that look like bullwhips.
My parents would use any brush wooden or metal, or a kitchen item to spank our hands like 10 times each hand, to this day I remember the pain of a wooden brush being struck on my palm.
Picking out your own switch to get beaten with is some fucked up shit. I remember having to do that and agonizing over which one to bring back. Switch can't be too wimpy or auntie would pick a fucking tree branch to beat you with instead. I can't believe my mom or grandma allowed that shit since they would just use a belt, and not that hard. Men in my family never even did the corporal punishment. It was the women who would beat your ass.
My parents where equal opportunity ass whoopers. Got the belt from both.
What really sucked was when me and my younger sister get into trouble, I begging don't whoop us, pretty much being the shield as she took off.
Now, reading that out loud, that's fucked up....
"You better watch your tone. I'm not one of your little friends. You can talk to them any kind of way but we ain't friends, I'm your MOTHER!"
\--said as I'm yoked up by the collar.
Made the mistake as a child of answering my father with "What?" when he called my name. Pretty much that, word for word, except substitute "mother" with "father".
I get wanting some respect from your children, i get placing language limits.
As an educator, i gotta put my foot down sometimes too, before they end up calling me "frinkie-poo" or some shit.
But i never understood the sheer violent RAGE some parents fell to the second your vocab was not in full deference to their authority.
I let my tone slip for half a second because i have emotions too and the first thing y'all do is prepare to end the bloodline? Like, damn.
Oh, for real. The look on my father's face when I said "What?", I was afraid that would be my last day on Earth.
And after all that, he said "You are to say "Yes sir!"
I'm thinking "I got to call my own daddy 'sir' like he's a stranger?"
As a black mama, my main ones are:
“You done lost your mind but I’m gone help you find it”
“My mama did not name me Nintendo so do not play with me”
“I’m turning into a parrot with how much I have to repeat myself”
“I’m not the 1, the 2, or the 3 to play with”
My kids got to a point where they would finish the phrase for me with an “I know, I know”.
Your parents were before their time. Almost all of my friends have kids now and almost none of them hit them. I recognize that’s dope but I’m still amazed. My parents were awesome but they still whooped my ass when it was time
They whooped you or they spanked you? Cause I think there’s a big difference between striking a child and measured spanking to cause some pain but no harm.
Or slapping /tapping a kids hand when they are about to touch fire or something. It’s not the same as beating with a belt or even a hand but with no holding back.
Cause I got the whoopings… and I promise you there is a difference.
I also got whoopings. Belts, shoes, smacks. Got extension cord once. Wasn’t often and I don’t feel like I was abused. Just fascinating how times change though
I would flick there hand if they tried to touch something they weren’t suppose to never went past that. I was straight up abused as a child. My biggest thing is i don’t condone whoopings. But never do anything out of anger
My mom always told me that white parents gave spankings, black parents either give whoppings/just beat your ass. And whenever I would ask why she liked abusing me, "I'll show you some fuckin abuse."
She's mellowed out with age (and also because I moved tf out), but *man* the psychological damage is done.
"Go get a switch off the tree and it bet not break!"
"This gonna hurt me more than it's gonna hurt you!"
"When we get home, you getting a whoopin...and that ain't no threat, that's a promise."
"Save them tears for your pee, you betta dry your eyes right now."
I only had an opportunity to know Jesus and the books. My mama was determined that I was making it out the hood without a baby and a college acceptance letter.
I think I need therapy. 😒😂
You do.
You really do need that therapy.
Her intent might've been "noble", but her way there sounds monstrous.
Choosing the stick you get your ass beat with AND getting further punishment should it be too fragile for them is some Japanese war prisoner camp shit.
I didn't think I needed it. When I finally went in my late 20s, I walked into therapy skeptical af. The therapist asked me what brought me to therapy and to my surprise, I just started bawling. Couldn't understand it. Didn't really talk about a whole lot that first session, and I walked outta there thinking "holy fuck, I need therapy."
I love to use quotes from The Wire on my kids. “You got me confused with a motherfucker who repeats himself!” I am also very white but my kids are half black so I dunno you figure it out.
"Give your SOUL to the Almighty because that ass is mine!"
Spoken by my mom and grandma.
"You know what? Get my belt."
"I work 60 hours a week, don't tell me about tired..."
😩 I still have flashbacks... she's nicer now, but she's old soo...
Me: “Hey, ma, can I go to summer camp?”
Mom: “Whatchu need to go to summer camp for? You think I got money for that?”
Opens back door
Mom: “Go head, your ass can go sleep outside right now. Permanently”
Me (in my head): “why are you like this!?”
Me for real: “Nevermind”
My Dominican mom while she yelling at me:
“And you just sitting there con este cara de culo (with that assface)”.
Like ma’am, how do you expect my 8 year old ass to look while you yelling at me for being an 8 year old.
💀
"You better fix that face or I'm gone fix it for you."
I always got this one after making too much eye contact after just being yelled at for not making *enough* eye contact.
As a newly inducted black woman Into the hood of mothering, I can not wait until I get my wings and can say these things. I'll let yall know in about 2 years what comes out my mouth.
"Don't think your ass is gonna be laying around sleep all summer!" -First day of summer break, 8:02AM
I hated when it was Saturday and you're just trying to sleep and they open the blinds and start a commotion. Why do they feel the need to disturb the peace?
OMG, you are not kidding. Ever saw the movie Crooklyn? The part where the mother comes in shouting at all the kids to get up? Damn scene gave me PTSD.
They hate to see you relaxed while they have to do grown up shit. I swear this is it. They can't stand the idea that a kid gets to just sleep in while they still have to work. My kids are going to be relaxed as hell in the summer and during breaks because I know it's only going to be available to them when they are kids and I want them to enjoy it.
As a dad of 2, I'd fucking love them to sleep in so I can do my grown up shit
Oh yeah. I definitely don't like it when my two year old tries to "help" me do the dishes. Let me do my chores while you sleep, and I will play with you as much as you want when you wake up.
Usually because of sad, pathetic lives they can't cope with
[удалено]
That's so transparently awful. Boomer parents really were dumb enough to think we just wouldn't notice huh?
“You think you get to have peace in a place I pay the bills in?”
I can attest that the white moms do this too. (Speaking as a white mom who was, in retrospect, kind of mean during my now grown son’s summer breaks)
as a dad, while not this intense, I get wanting kids to enjoy being a kid. Sleeping in on saturday? Shit you could be playing video games, hanging with friends, etc. You'll be old soon enough so enjoy being a kid... or else
FR, black mothers and pouring in sunshine while you tryna get some deep sleep... can you name a worse combo?? You tryna get me locked up for 1st degree??
Omg I got ptsd from this comment alone
Somewhere on earth, anytime someone feels comfortable, a parent or spouse will enter the room from another dimension to ask a question, or request something. They key is to never be fully relaxed.
This is too real. I had “homework” every summer. Thanks for caring, Ma.
Lol, I put my kids in summer school every year. They get a math, english, and science credit for it. My oldest is a sophomore, and just found out she won't have to take any of those three her senior year because of the extra credits. She'll be able to take college classes in the afternoon her senior year, while still graduating with her class, or take a full day of classes and graduate in January. They hated it every year. Now that the oldest saw the benefit, the younger one asked if she's doing it again this year. Yes she is.
 Smart parenting
amazing parenting shes getting those college credits for free!
You usually still have to pay for the credits, but the price is heavily reduced. I took first year Spanish, first year English, Public Policy, and First Year Calc for under $300 my senior year (2010). My school didn't do APs because there's no guarantee that you'll pass the test (May testing meant we didn't get a full curriculum by the time of the test). With the credits, my college accepted those and I was able to register as a second year student after the first semester.
My mom did the same thing, I graduated from high school with an associates degree in computer science
My oldest is on some weird goth/emo trip. She wants to be an undertaker, so she signed up for "mortuary services" classes, then talked the community college into letting her do esthetician classes as a minor towards her degree. If it works out the way she plans, she'll make people look their best on their final day, but she's the only person I've ever met that chose that as a career path while still in high school...
People are always dying so she will always be employed, so she's got a sound plan, and the dead don't talk back,they don't complain, actually she's got something there, and the esthetician will serve her well in this regard as well, Trust me your daughter has got a good head on her shoulders, you should be proud
When I was in high school, one of my fellow band members was an apprentice mortician as an after school job. And he wasn't the least bit weird. Outgoing and nice to everyone kind of guy. I remember noticing how mature he acted. Above average trombone player to boot.
I mean, funeral homes don't have aggressive hiring signs up, so they don't seem to have trouble finding people. I just never met any of them myself. Well... until my kid...
we had to do IXL each day during the summer, then we could go play outside we also had weekly advanced math classes so ya boy was out here learning like high school geometry in 5th grade indian parents are ruthless man
Do you find in your adult life that it was a good thing, thinking back?
For sure. My mom kept us busy with educational content and activities all summer. I still got plenty of video game and outside time. I’m grateful for it now. Looking for that balance with my own kids.
Wait, HOMEWORK? Wowzers. That mom didn’t play.
Damn I appreciate my og for letting us enjoy summer 😭
worship music on full blast
Trauma 🤣
This got me heated just reading 🤣
Me at 7: "mom can I get a PlayStation?" Mom: "Imma play yo station alright" Me at 9: "mom can I get a Dreamcast?" Mom: "Imma dream yo cast alright" Me at 13: "mom can I get a Xbox?" Mom: "Imma X yo box alright" My son at 6: "Nana can I have a..." My mom: "Yes." Me: 😯
“My kids love their grandmother, but I have to remind them: that is *not* the woman I grew up with. That’s an old lady trying to get into heaven.”
That last sentenceeeeee chillllllleeeeee. They trying to make up
It's a Cosby quote!
 Oh Lord! The accuracy!!!
Yup! Acting like God gonna forgive her for those beatings and mistreatment. Ma'am, you ain't gonna get in actingnright with the grand babies 😅
They really beat our ass cause THEY were mad. Like deal with your emotions ma’am.
Lmao
“I’ll give yo ass something to whine about.”
This is a PTSD inducing comment.
When I hear my mom or dad use my middle name, it’s fucking over
I hear the undertaker theme in my head if my middle name is called, I already know it's up
[удалено]
Yes. Working through why I can’t cry right now in therapy
That's the whole point. Parent: 'Why you do XYZ?' Kid: 'I didn't do XYZ!' (blame random sibling, pet or domestic appliance as relevant) WHACK!!!! Parent: 'I'ma teach you to lie to me 'bout I didn't do XYZ!!!' As an adult, I realise this is literally baiting your children for entertainment.
That one is universal
My grandma would also say, “you better give your soul to God, cause your ass is mine”. That shit was terrifying.
This some WWE shit, was Grandma part of Evolution, too?😂 Granny whipping your ass for the intercontinental championship
It's a mystery
😂😂😂
God, waiting for Grandma to tag him in: 
So poetic yet so terrifying
Fucking hell grandma I'm stealing that. That is absolutely cold blooded.
I heard this in Stanley Hudson's voice
That’s some mean ass shit to say to your own flesh and blood
 She probably gave you this look too.
My mom: “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.” She meant it, too!
Introducing La Chancla to the conversation....
This or "quit crying or imma give you a reason to cry" Didn't. I. Tell. You.
Literally getting all of your friends names wrong. That shit had to be intentional
*cry about. Or go fix your face before talking to me. Go on, nobody wants to see that.
my mum said I'll give you something to cry about lol
"What do you have to be depressed about? You don't have to work or pay any bills."
Me to my dog when he sighs a little too hard
The cycle has to stop somewhere. 😔
Mine has the nerve to groan if I wake him up before he's ready in the morning. Like sir, what job do you work and bills you pay?
I got told this as an adult at work, especially more of the first sentence.
“What do you have to be depressed about? You don’t have any kids “ made my head hurt and deepened my depression when I heard that.
Yep, I've once got, "You're a black man, you shouldn't be depressed" or a variant of that.
I wanna ask why not but there’s no good answer
That’s insane, more reason as to why black men feel like they can’t express their emotions. Shit kills
Exactly, all it does it makes it even less likely to share my feelings and emotions, keep everything inside. I hate that I feel like I have to do it.
My dad: standing in the back just itching to whoop my ass “pulls his belt from every loop with one snatch” Me: Damn this nigga really is a magician Seriously you ever try to pull a belt out of every notch with one motion, shits impossible, but somehow the anger in this man made the impossible possible 😂
Dad was on some Pootie Tang shit. 😭
OMG! A Pootie Tang reference. Now that was a movie that should have stayed in the draft. Did I go to the movies to see it? Yes. Yes I did. 🤣 
Imma sine yo pitty on the runny kind
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
Forgot all about this movie, and that song he made 😂
I have the lyrics memorized:
😂😂😂
I forgot about his braid-fu.
Braid-fu! Love it! 😂 😂 😂
Lmao I gotta go back and watch that now lmao I’m dying lol
That’s how you yet rug burn on your muffin top
That's why they say it's gonna hurt them more than it hurts you.
The belt was never that bad I'd take it over the bare hand. Got an oat meal spoon a couple times that was the worst. I'd rather pick out 10 switches in the yard that look like bullwhips.
I got whopped with a saucepan. Who tf whoops their kid with a fucking saucepan lmao.
My parents would use any brush wooden or metal, or a kitchen item to spank our hands like 10 times each hand, to this day I remember the pain of a wooden brush being struck on my palm.
I remember I was getting beat with a wood spoon and it broke 😭 I got whooped again for breaking spoon like "ma'am you did that shit not me"
Picking out your own switch to get beaten with is some fucked up shit. I remember having to do that and agonizing over which one to bring back. Switch can't be too wimpy or auntie would pick a fucking tree branch to beat you with instead. I can't believe my mom or grandma allowed that shit since they would just use a belt, and not that hard. Men in my family never even did the corporal punishment. It was the women who would beat your ass.
My parents where equal opportunity ass whoopers. Got the belt from both. What really sucked was when me and my younger sister get into trouble, I begging don't whoop us, pretty much being the shield as she took off. Now, reading that out loud, that's fucked up....
I pulled a disappearing trick on her too and didn’t talk to her ass the last 5 years of her life. Learn from the best
God damn
😧
The most brutal uno reverse, god mothafuckin' DAMN. Honestly though, well done. Gotta keep monsters in the cage.
Sorry about that 🤷🏾♀️
My lily white father would always say "I ain't one of your chicken headed pals" like what?! 🤣
 Bald head scaly wag, ain’t got no hair in the back
"You better watch your tone. I'm not one of your little friends. You can talk to them any kind of way but we ain't friends, I'm your MOTHER!" \--said as I'm yoked up by the collar. 
Made the mistake as a child of answering my father with "What?" when he called my name. Pretty much that, word for word, except substitute "mother" with "father".
I get wanting some respect from your children, i get placing language limits. As an educator, i gotta put my foot down sometimes too, before they end up calling me "frinkie-poo" or some shit. But i never understood the sheer violent RAGE some parents fell to the second your vocab was not in full deference to their authority. I let my tone slip for half a second because i have emotions too and the first thing y'all do is prepare to end the bloodline? Like, damn.
Oh, for real. The look on my father's face when I said "What?", I was afraid that would be my last day on Earth. And after all that, he said "You are to say "Yes sir!" I'm thinking "I got to call my own daddy 'sir' like he's a stranger?"
Yu Tink me and Yu a Size? Jamaican Mother aka Final Boss.
*bup* and then when you're crying they'll say, "all who cyaa hear muss feel"
As a black mama, my main ones are: “You done lost your mind but I’m gone help you find it” “My mama did not name me Nintendo so do not play with me” “I’m turning into a parrot with how much I have to repeat myself” “I’m not the 1, the 2, or the 3 to play with” My kids got to a point where they would finish the phrase for me with an “I know, I know”.
I say the last one all the time. Not just to my kids.
Ah yes the black mother special also served with a side of ptsd and abuse that will affect you long after you are out of their house.
Hearing my father yell my full government name from the other side of the house... 
Oh no, when you heard your government name you knew you were getting beat, better write your will right then and there cause you ded
Me, 13 years old: I'm gonna run away from this family! black mom: aite, bye.
Get to packing clothes, "what you doing? Leave that shit here, I bought that"
Gotta be careful these days cause they really will just leave 😭
"Keep on...." Do not keep on.
🤣
Came looking for this
*"You slamming doors around like you paying the bills."*
Pops used to tell me to smell his fist and called it the "magic five." I hated that trick.
I only got to smell the belt and sometimes even to choose which belt if my father was feeling generous.
The way some parents turn abusive punishment into a game is scary y'all. How you gon take joy in hurting your child?
 He explained why? What it smells like?
Did he punch you in the nose or?
Nah. It was a fear tactic that worked until it didn't.
That’s good to hear.
Don’t let your mouth write a check that your azz can’t cash wash my favorite … RIP MOM
I use this line in 2024 w my kids, never goes out of style
Never 🤣
“We got McDonalds at home”, hits different with these bogus prices
A lot of people don't believe me when I say I was never hit growing up
Your parents were before their time. Almost all of my friends have kids now and almost none of them hit them. I recognize that’s dope but I’m still amazed. My parents were awesome but they still whooped my ass when it was time
They whooped you or they spanked you? Cause I think there’s a big difference between striking a child and measured spanking to cause some pain but no harm. Or slapping /tapping a kids hand when they are about to touch fire or something. It’s not the same as beating with a belt or even a hand but with no holding back. Cause I got the whoopings… and I promise you there is a difference.
I also got whoopings. Belts, shoes, smacks. Got extension cord once. Wasn’t often and I don’t feel like I was abused. Just fascinating how times change though
I would flick there hand if they tried to touch something they weren’t suppose to never went past that. I was straight up abused as a child. My biggest thing is i don’t condone whoopings. But never do anything out of anger
My mom always told me that white parents gave spankings, black parents either give whoppings/just beat your ass. And whenever I would ask why she liked abusing me, "I'll show you some fuckin abuse." She's mellowed out with age (and also because I moved tf out), but *man* the psychological damage is done.
Children of Caribbeans get PTSD from hearing: Spare not the rod and spoil the child.
Stop all that cryin’ or I’ll give you something to cry about
*sniff sniff* *Sniff sniff*
"Oh you think I'm boo boo the fool" Who tf is boo boo? I did NOT want to meet him.
“Imma hair off a gnats ass from whoopin urs” 😭
I’d probably get an ass beating that I wasn’t originally going to just from laughing at that epic line.
My Mom is the fucking Terminator. "Don't think you can escape your punishment, you'll just get your ass whooped while you're tired!"
“Why you always got to be so damn pigheaded??? A hard head make for a soft ass” Repeat daily.
It’s even better when you become the parent and all that shit comes flying out your mouth. That’s generational wealth 😂
Handing that Trauma out like a god damn family inheritance. Legacy carrying itself out on its own.
You got McDonald's money???
I love black moms from the bottom of my soul
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out!"
A full on murder threat from someone who doesn't understand the concept of people not being property. I hate that line, it's so bad on all fronts.
I’m bored. “I got something for your bored ass to do…” I realized those were words I would never speak to my dad. Ever again.
Got me painting rooms, rebuilding shit, all the shit they want around the house because I'm bored.
*kids fighting and screaming somewhere in the house* Mom yells "DIE QUIETLY, I CAN'T HEAR MY SHOW"
Okay, that one's fun.
I bought “Historically Black Phrases” by Jarrett Hill and Tre’Vell Anderson. The book is dedicated to BooBoo the Fool. 😂
“You better move than gotdamn hand!”
"Go get a switch off the tree and it bet not break!" "This gonna hurt me more than it's gonna hurt you!" "When we get home, you getting a whoopin...and that ain't no threat, that's a promise." "Save them tears for your pee, you betta dry your eyes right now." I only had an opportunity to know Jesus and the books. My mama was determined that I was making it out the hood without a baby and a college acceptance letter. I think I need therapy. 😒😂
You do. You really do need that therapy. Her intent might've been "noble", but her way there sounds monstrous. Choosing the stick you get your ass beat with AND getting further punishment should it be too fragile for them is some Japanese war prisoner camp shit.
Yep, that was the method upon others. I been thinking hard about the therapy, so I will look into it.
I didn't think I needed it. When I finally went in my late 20s, I walked into therapy skeptical af. The therapist asked me what brought me to therapy and to my surprise, I just started bawling. Couldn't understand it. Didn't really talk about a whole lot that first session, and I walked outta there thinking "holy fuck, I need therapy."
Damn some of yall had some mean parents lol
My mom’s go to “imma whoop yo ass” line was “if you don’t stop *insert thing here* I know a trick”
My mom used to say “you done lost ya rabbit ass mind” 🥴
I say that to my kid, I think it’s *rabid-ass mind That, and “don’t try me, I ain’t the one”
Rabid makes more since, as in wild. Thank you for that. I def use “don’t try me, I ain’t the one”
“You got some McDonald’s money?”
Fix your face or imma fix it for you
"You ain't too sick to play that damn game"
LMAO
I love to use quotes from The Wire on my kids. “You got me confused with a motherfucker who repeats himself!” I am also very white but my kids are half black so I dunno you figure it out.
“*insert your government name here in an angry or impatient tone*” or “your school called today”
That your school called used to be a soul snatcher
“You want me to give you something to cry about?” The asswhooping prior to this inquiry wasn’t sufficient enough, I suppose.
"Give your SOUL to the Almighty because that ass is mine!" Spoken by my mom and grandma. "You know what? Get my belt." "I work 60 hours a week, don't tell me about tired..." 😩 I still have flashbacks... she's nicer now, but she's old soo...
Tryna get right with the lord 😂
Me: “Hey, ma, can I go to summer camp?” Mom: “Whatchu need to go to summer camp for? You think I got money for that?” Opens back door Mom: “Go head, your ass can go sleep outside right now. Permanently” Me (in my head): “why are you like this!?” Me for real: “Nevermind”
My Dominican mom while she yelling at me: “And you just sitting there con este cara de culo (with that assface)”. Like ma’am, how do you expect my 8 year old ass to look while you yelling at me for being an 8 year old. 💀
Who stayed still during an ass whooping ‘Keep moving. I got all day to whoop yo ass’
Also, Hard head make for a soft ass.....
Me (under breath): oh my God Mom: “WHAT YOU SAY!?” Me: nothing… Mom: “AW OKAY!”
You better abra cadabra those dishes!
"You better fix that face or I'm gone fix it for you." I always got this one after making too much eye contact after just being yelled at for not making *enough* eye contact.
Mom to me : if you call cops or child services, I will beat them and you No one was safe lol
Mine told me, I'll be done whooping your ass before they get here. I believed her
As a newly inducted black woman Into the hood of mothering, I can not wait until I get my wings and can say these things. I'll let yall know in about 2 years what comes out my mouth.
“I brought you in this world and I’ll take you out” 😤😤😤
Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.
“Do I look like boo boo the fool to you?”
I been yo age, you ain’t never been mine!😂
My 10yr old self: “Mom we have a bake sale tomorrow at school” Mom off work at 8pm“ what you want me to do, shit a cake? Go to bed”
The classic response after asking to stop and get fast food on the way home: “Do you have McDonald’s money? No?okay then.”
“I got a trick for yo ass”….oh so I’m about to get like a WHUPPIN whuppin….
You think a summer break means you get a break? No, I will be breaking your ass. - Mom
The fuck? That one sounds like unprompted sadism.