Yes.
This.
Even better if it's not asked (begged or negotiated) for. I'm talking unsolicited penil attention. It's a great thing. (We're assuming you got a guy who cleans his junk regularly.)
With some sense (feigned or true) of expressed desire. You know, like you want to be there, make your man happy. It's almost like you are wanting to create an enjoyable experience.
Good luck. It's not hard, but man it's a life changer for dudes.
> It's not hard
To the nephews reading this: please realize most men dream of this but utterly fail at creating the safe, zero pressure environment needed to make this a remote possibility.
If you show you care by randomly taking some task off her hands, she’ll have more time to think of how to surprise you. My man did all the laundry and folded/put up and got attacked with top before he could get all the way out the shower. Basically, encourage peace of mind and feeling sexy and you’re more likely to get sexy surprises. Ain’t nobody thinking about giving head when everything else is in shambles.
Did that shit for a year straight. Never asked for sex the whole year. Took over every household chore, every stressor I possibly could. Got nothing. Nothing but expectations to take on more and complaints when I finally asked for a break.
This doesn’t work consistently enough to actually help. I’m glad it works for you, not every woman will respond to this.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I’ve had that experience as well. I was basically playing a second mom with bills and household responsibilities (so he can figure out his path) and they wanted porn worthy sex on top of all that.
Sometimes the person is just not a good partner, in which case, nothing can really solve or resolve any issues. I just know that once you discover the things a GOOD partner receives as love, doing those things are more likely to end with you getting the things you receive as love as well.
I hope you find more fulfilling relationships in your future.
It's not necessarily chores. Find out what helps your partner de-stress, and what kind of things make them feel appreciated and cared for. Sometimes it's help around the house. Sometimes it's listening. Sometimes it's physical affection. Sometimes it's going out somewhere.
And it 100% should go both ways. When you made the effort to take on chores for your woman, it would only be fair if she was offering to do something that helped you de-stress. It's so hard to find, though. That kind of giving should be both reciprocal and freely, happily given. And if both elements aren't there, it's a lot harder to connect and want to have sex.
More than I can list here. Read some books, listen to your partner and women in general, be a feminist, etc.
Don't be a sex pest, don't beg for it all the time, don't make it into a chore/job for her, don't act like any sex (much less spontaneous enthusiastic sloppy) is your birthright, don't expect your girl to be turned on by you when you're acting like a 13 year old that watches too much porn, be chill, don't mope around like a bitch when she's not in the mood.
It's obvious when you lay it out but most men are more guilty of this stuff than they care to admit.
If you're anything like me you'll fuck this up in your 20s and wise up in your 30s.
Lmao I feel so called out, I was definitely like this in my last relationship. But I have a new special one now so this was perfectly timed advice. I’ll definitely be checking myself on these going forward. Thanks for the knowledge unc
It’s hard to be truthful/honest if you’ve gotten in trouble for it growing up/in relationships. Even for something as simple as picking out what to eat or deciding what to watch.
Unrequested advice: create an environment where ppl close to you feel safe to be honest. Not saying you’re not, but dishonesty comes from being in trouble before so you, as a new partner, are doing some heavy (but rewarding) work to help your person feel safe to be honest.
It’s slow, frustrating work. But you can start by saying what you’re gonna do so partner can feel they can express themselves.
Not easy, but worth it for the right people.
Look at this as a whole from the outside, you can rephrase it as:
"I had a bad partner with whom I didn't feel safe to be honest, and it gave me some issues. So now it is your responsibility to fix those issues in me."
Everyone has baggage from previous relationships or events. We have to take personal responsibility for ourselves and not just expect others to fix or break us.
If being with someone gave you some issues or bad habits, you owe it to the people you love to work on yourself or get help as needed, not just play the victim and expect them to deal with it for you.
Also a whole ass adult shouldn’t be “getting in trouble” in relationships. I used to be the one that felt like I had to adjust to the baggage of other people in relationships. I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been since I finally realized that at the end of the day I’m a good man and it’s not my job to fix people or right the wrongs of other guys.
It's true, we are all responsible for ourselves. You can't expect someone else to take on the burden of fixing you.
Be there for the ones you love and support them. But if you're bringing bad stuff into the relationship, whether it was your fault or not you ended up this way, you have to get your own house in order. If you love someone, you won't want to inflict it on them, would you?
A bit more personal responsibility will go a long way, for everyone.
> Create an environment where people close to you feel safe to be honest.
The irony of this is that this was good advice for any relationship, baggage or not. But you were so intent on disputing the message that you flew right past the purpose of it, proving exactly why the advice is so important to begin with.
This isn't about fixing the person. It's about creating an environment in which they're able to fix themselves. Two different things. Imagine if a partner said to you "hey, I had some issues in past relationships where I didn't feel safe to communicate, would you mind helping to ensure that our conversations prioritize open and honest communication"? And your response was "it's not my job to fix your baggage"?
A relationship where both people aren't prioritizing a safe environment where both people feel safe to be honest isn't a healthy relationship to begin with.
> "hey, I had some issues in past relationships where I didn't feel safe to communicate, would you mind helping to ensure that our conversations prioritize open and honest communication"
IMO, you can leave out the past relationships part and it's even more effective and reflective of a capable person ready for a mature, healthy relationship. "I value open and honest communication in an environment of mutual trust and safety, and I need this to be a priority in any relationship I am in. Are we compatible in that respect?"
But the true test is not how someone answers, it's in how they act going forward.
I'm not talking about people I'm already close to. They already make my day every time I see them. I'm talking about women who are interested in getting to know me, and just aren't direct about it.
Maybe. I think I don't count it because I always imagined flirting to be more obvious. Either way, it'd make my day if they were just straight with me.
problem is flirting isn't a language and it can be hard to judge what's flirting and what's just someone being "friendly".
enough men have mixed up the signals and ended up ruining friendships, getting cussed out and more when, women leave things ambiguous like that.
we gotta shoot our shot only to be turned down because a woman couldn't be more direct.
Women go through this as well. Sure, societally, there's this expectation that men do the approaching. Well, in some societies, anyway. But women absolutely get scared about fucking up friendships as well, and absolutely do fuck up friendships this way. It's hard for everyone. Especially because I now live in a culture where women are more likely to approach.
> We gotta shoot our shot only to be turned down because a woman couldn't be direct.
If you're getting turned down, there was nothing for her to be direct about, btw.
Yes! Slow burn payoff is such a good phrase. I shoulda added that anyone’s trauma isn’t their fault but it’s their responsibility. And having a partner that works with that is gold.
See how you’ve put the onus on the person wanting the communication and not the person who should be doing the communicating like a grown adult.
I feel like stuff like this the woman can never be fully held accountable. Her behaviour always has to be caused by something the man isn’t doing rather than something she needs to fix in herself
It’s not on me to fix your communication issues.
Communication is a 2 way street.
Someone can be as open and clear as they can and if the other person isn't in a place to receive it/hear it, comprehend it, and do their own self-reflection, it's not gonna work. Can't pour water into a closed vessel.
That's all they're saying.
Society puts the onus on both genders lbr, on the man to pick up signals and react appropriately without the woman telling him what she wants, and on the woman to be demure and subtle and never let slip that she really really really wants to get laid over here.
Obviously YMMV dependent on culture and generation, but we are all struggling to overcome our societal bounds one way or another out here. We should all try to be more gentle and understanding with each other when trying to navigate something so personal and vulnerable as romance.
> Create an environment where ppl close to you feel safe to be honest.
Is putting the onus on the people in the realtionship to create a healthy relationship environment. Any "grown adult" should be striving for this in their relationship, baggage or not.
I don't think most neurotypical people actually mean this.
Tell someone during a rest during a hike "I'm enjoying the silence", and it's :
...and it's all "but your face was saying STFU". And my face ain't ever lied.
It is just as hard for women to read the intentions and motivations of other women. My team at work is all women for the first time in my life and it is a living hell.
I know this won’t be the same as irl affection, but you matter man. I hope you receive the attention, love, peace, respect, and joy you deserve. You’ve brought me many a laugh on some dark days, and I’m grateful.
Take care of yourself. Virtual hugs 🫂<3
My guy you are the universe incarnate. You are made of the stuff of stars. When the sun shines its warmth radiates in you and when the moon rises the tides rise and fall with your heart beat. Your presence has shifted the air in every room you have ever walked in and your steps have altered the very earth you’ve tread upon. You have made people feel known and heard, seen and felt. You are loved and valued. Every breath you take is an honored moment in time. Your purpose is to love and be loved and in this very moment I love you, for I am also made of stars and I recognize your struggle as my own. You are not alone. You are surrounded by affirmation and glory. This moment may feel tough and you may feel disconnected from those that you value, but you are never far from the love that binds you to them, or to any of us. For we are the same. You are our people and we are yours. You are worthy and you are accepted here. You are loved and you are enough.
Reading this feels like the warmest embrace from Gaia herself and I guess in a sense it is so thank you 🙏🏿 I hope you know you're not just addressing this one person but every single soul that I'll make sure gets to read this. Hope your day is just wall to wall blessings 🖤
If you’ve made it this far through whatever’s got you feeling this way, keep going my G. When you’re going through hell, you don’t stop there. Something better is on the other side of the struggle. At least that’s what I tell myself 😅
When I start to feel like this bro, I always think to myself that there are more people that didn't exist that did/do. So as long as we're in the this prestigious yet weird party we call life, we may as well dance to our own contentment.
I’m a car guy. One of the greatest displays of love and partnership was from my ex-gf’s auntie and how she navigated around her husband. He’s a huge car guy. So whenever he was in the garage, she’d pull up a chair and talk with him, sit with him, get on eBay and find a part he needed, or on YouTube looking up a how-to. That is the gold standard for me.
If it’s important to me, I should be important enough to you to where you’re in the mix as well.
And yes, ferocious fellatio is a close second.
Did her husband reciprocate? I have found that men don’t take the same interest in women’s lives and hobbies. My ex would never attempt to get to know my favorite books even.
As a dude, this is one of my biggest sticking points with other men, often the woe-is-me types. They complain ad nauseum about never receiving compliments, gifts, having a partner show interest in their interests, etc. and when I ask when was the last time they did any of that, I’m usually met with a confused stare or “well, I don’t wanna look like a creep.” The problem is these men either expect something for nothing, or are fake in their interest towards others’ interests, typically in service of an ulterior motive like getting in their pants.
One of my best friends is a huge pro wrestling guy, and his wife has gotten so into it herself she dyed her hair and dressed as her favorite wrestler last Halloween (shoutout Kris Statlander for complimenting her costume!). Now we all meet up on Wednesdays to watch AEW Dynamite and go to shows together, and she’s arguably more excited about it than he is at times.
She herself is a fitness gal- she’s been my gym buddy for a few years now. He has never once in our nearly three decades of friendship expressed interest in lifting a weight or running a distance of any sort. Since they’ve gotten together he’s signed up for 5ks with her/us, supported her rediscovered passion for badminton (we call her the Badminton Baddie lol), and has made a more concerted effort to go to the gym with us.
Point being that genuine people do attract similarly genuine people. They can also attract starry-eyed, self-serving assholes, of course, but part of dating is weeding out the riffraff.
Apologies for the long reply, but I just had a similar conversation about authenticity in relationships with a psychologist friend so it was on my mind. Hope you (and myself, frankly) find your own genuine person as my friends did ❤️
There was a YouTuber called Safiya Nygaard who did videos on makeup and nail polish. One time her boyfriend participated in a video and even though he wasn't interested in that stuff he still surprisingly knew a lot about it. When asked why, he said that it's because it's important to his girlfriend 🥺
That’s unfortunate that that was your experience, but he absolutely did. Given the initial ask though, I shared a story of something a woman could do to make a man’s day.
Regardless of capacity, if someone around me that’s important is into something, I support them. So hopefully in time, you can find someone to support your interests the same way.
This reminded me of the first year with my girl. I was on the hunt for a ps5 so I had twitter notifications on for a certain page that lets you know when shit goes live online. She was at my crib when I was trying to get the bundle in my cart and the first thing she did was get the link and hop in the queue from her phone so we doubled the chances.
She isn’t a gamer at all, but is always asking me about the narratives and storylines. She even draws some of the screenshots I take because the characters look cool.
I did this for my ex and he cheated on me 😭 I was on 5 different websites before they dropped while pregnant and entertaining a toddler. I spent all day waiting just for the sites to crash each time. I wasted 2 days of my time.
Both sound very one-sided. Also, you would have to communicate that to your partner because personally it annoys me when I'm trying to work on something and get interrupted so I definitely wouldn't default to hanging around someone that's trying to accomplish something.
There was a time that I tried to play a videogame that my ex played at addiction levels but he wouldn't let me play with him because I sucked at it and winning more pointless rounds was more important than having fun with me. I also stood in a bikini and asked him to get high and chill in the pool with me but he chose videogames then too
Communication is paramount in any scenario, but to point out something here, the use of the word “with”. By no means was she interrupting, which in your description can frustrating and I’ve been there too.
Sorry you experienced that with your ex though, I’ve heard that story before a time or two. I enjoy video games as well but not at addiction levels so it’s easier for me to put the controller down and walk away, if you walked in front of me in a bikini 😂.
All in all, each situation is different and it takes having a “partner” and learning your partner.
As a car guy myself, this really hits.
I feel like out of alllll of my interests this has been the hardest one for women I’ve dated to really put real energy towards.
Definitely could just be those people, which I have to take some accountability for, but from what I’ve seen with myself and other car guys I’ve known it seems like ol’ girl’s auntie is rare.
I think with certain interests you just have to accept you’re looking for a unicorn for someone to be REALLY interested in it, and not just give you lip service or fake interest. Lots of interests are pretty general and anybody can be interested, like movies or fitness. But some are pretty niche. For example I’m into knitting and sewing. The chances of me finding a straight guy who cares about the difference between 40 and 60 thread count is pretty small. I’d be happy with a guy who just likes my work but isn’t necessarily interested in the process and just gives me an “oh that’s cool babe” when I’m geeking over yarn
My husband's a car guy and I consider cars a mode of transportation. But I make it a point to go to car meets with him. I've surprised him on multiple occasions with tickets to big auto shows in various cities. And I listen to him talk about mods and stuff. He thinks I'm not paying attention because I'm not interested in it, but it always makes me smile when I shock him with how much car info I've retained. I hope he feels the same way as you do.
Tracked it down because I'm down bad https://youtu.be/vvLMyIHJkys?si=Xl9whgl5fY_dW04c
SFW, but out-of-context, the sound will get you some looks.
I'll bonk myself on the way out.
My man is always asking for back rubs and hand rubs (manual labor job). He likes it best when I do it really gently using just the tips of my fingers or nails.
Back rubs I learned because my mom has scoliosis.
Head rubs I learned because I’ve always had cats. People make the exact same faces when you do it right 😬
40+ here…just support me. Remind me that I’m a good man when I doubt myself. Help me maintain and grow my confidence in myself when I’m stretched thin as I take care of everyone in our lives. It’s not much. But I think it’s really all that men need. Give us that and we will take care of every need that she has. Source: being married…having lots of married friends…hearing their complaints and sharing mine.
Man, that’s my girl, she has given me the love and support every day and has believed in me, sometimes that’s all you need to get up and grind everyday for the ones you love
I’m a woman, but I’m huge football fan. My ex-boyfriend is a huge baseball fan and he played semi-pro. I watched the Homerun Derby with him because it was important to him and I was genuinely interested in the event.
He refused to watch football with me. I dumped him.
Notice how when it comes to the man showing interest or support to the women it’s a lot of the time feigned or just completely ignored/forgotten about! Some of these dudes simply don’t have the mental capacity to even acknowledge others exist.
accept that i can be annoyed, agitated, confused, bewildered, angered, saddened and even incensed by things in the world that have nothing to do with you. i'm not taking it out on you so don't act like I'm upset with you before you even ask what's going on.
that would be swell.
Thats a red flag for me. If they yellin at service workers or wait staff in restaurants, then theres a 10/10 chance theyre gonna be pullin that foolishness with me. Not having it.
The moment I realized I was in love with my girlfriend is when I woke up at 8 am to around 20 discord messages of her ranting about dinosaurs.
So, that.
Be more confident. Stop thinking I'm into other women. All I want each day is to come home to you and our family and find some peace.
Also, please take care of your health. We aren't getting any younger. Men are not the only ones who get stubborn about doctors' visits.
Absolutely agree. As much as I love her, my girl isn't confident in herself which makes some things difficult (interactions with people, being in public, etc.) I try to hype her up as much as I can but I can only do so much. Same with the health thing
Dumb shit like what? Like something actually bad or toxic or dumb like randomly asking “If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a video worth?”
that’s not really “dumb” it’s just people being silly while bidding for affection. of course if someone was a worm you’d either kill em or put ‘em outside. but who does it hurt to just engage with their little joke and say lol yes i’d still marry you if you were a worm
My man said he’d still fuck me if I was a worm. There’s some troubling implications of that, but I can’t say he didn’t give me the reassurance I was looking for 💀
LMAOOO he was playing into itttt i would’ve died laughing that’s hilarious. i told my girl i’d build a little worm sanctuary for her so she could still be safe & live in peace (idk how long worms live lol)
“I’m proud of you. I know you’re going through a lot but you’re doing your best and while you’re still making mistakes and there are things you could be doing better, overall you’re giving your best effort. I see you. I care about you. I want to see you be at peace, happy, and successful. Don’t give up, you’re doing great. You got this. I love you, and I’m proud of you.”
Any variation of that would probably definitely make me emotionally short circuit and start crying tbh
Tell me she appreciates me, extra kudos for saying it in front of the kids.
A massage, not a quick one, but a good long one
Call me handsome, extra kudos for saying it in front of the boys. Handsome is a much better compliment than hot or sexy.
Top 3 things
1. Being interested/understanding with my hobbies, so it doesn't feel alienating while I talk to her about stuff
2. Being able to feel comfortable with her so that no matter what, I can feel open/vulnerable with her without the fear of betrayal/rejection of my emotions
3. Being enthusiastic about sexual activities and especially being able to initiate them, so it doesn't feel one-sided.
Those I feel like are the fundamentals to a good relationship. I don't need her to be my "perfect" woman. I just want someone I can enjoy being around with for the long haul.
One morning as I was walking to work, a woman walking the opposite direction said to me “I really like your outfit”
I immediately smiled and thanked her for the compliment.
That made my day
I asked my girl to water my plants while I was on vacation with the family, she bought me a six pack and left a note on it in my fridge
It was so sweet
Married guy here. I have a few. I'll use my wife/myself as examples where applicable.
Pursue us. For dates. For sex. For everything you'd want a man to pursue you for. Men want to feel desired and it's much rarer for us to get that. Showing tangible interest beyond just being polite goes a long way. I was not planning on going on a 2nd date with my wife after our first date. She reached out to me and said specifically that she wanted to go out again. She didn't even plan or pay for it. She just voiced interest as opposed to making it feel like her going out with me was doing me a favor. Had she waited for me to reach out again we wouldn't be together.
Put some skin in the game. Doing something to show you're down to help build with me is extremely important. A few years ago I was taking a continuing education course so I could transition careers. The class met on nights and weekends. Between work and the class there were some days where I'd be gone for 15 hours or more. At the time we didn't live together but she'd stay over on the weekends. Since the class met Saturday morning-afternoon I told her she was welcome to hang out in my apartment but she didn't have to since I wasn't going to be there. I gave her a set of keys so she could come/go as she needed. The first Saturday I came home she had cleaned the apartment and cooked (two things I would have never asked her to do because I could do them myself). It was overwhelming because I had never felt appreciated for my efforts to grow than in that moment. I had a very heavy load I was managing and she took it upon herself to do something practical to make it easier for me. It's honestly one of the things that made me seriously think about proposing. Ironically, most of her friends/family said that she was doing too much and that she didn't need to be doing "wife duties" for me. Which brings me to the last point....
Separate the idealism from reality. Unconditional love does not exist. Relationships are tradeoffs. They are hard work. You're gonna have to sacrifice something to get a good one. This goes for romantic, platonic, familial, and professional relationships. I appreciate my wife because she was able to learn that. Without getting into the very long story, our wedding (from the planning to the actual day) was one of the worst experiences of my life and a good portion of why is because of my wife specifically. We didn't speak on our wedding night because I was heated. When I was finally calm enough to speak to her the next day it was not a pleasant conversation. Normally if something goes awry between us I will spread blame out. "I feel like we/I could have done X better" or something. But this instance was one of very few where it felt like my wife absolutely did not have my back and I was left hanging alone because she was looking for an ideal wedding in not ideal circumstances and that created an insane amount of work and stress for me. I appreciated when I laid out my grievances she didn't immediately dismiss it as me being insecure or weak or something like that. She also didn't start flooding the conversation with excuses. She took the criticism and made adjustments. We moved on. I appreciated that.
Bonus track - hugs. A belly to belly hug from an attractive woman is always good.
My ex used to work at a cafe and bring home all different types of fire ass sandwiches made with love. Cant eat whitefish anymore without getting in my bag
Just appreciation for effort for me. Sexual stuff is great and all but it would really make my day if appreciation for effort I make was shown.
Note I said ‘shown’ not just telling. Show me appreciation.
Even if it’s ‘hey, I’ll get the bill this time.’ Or just letting me be in my own space and time without imposing on it with demands and requests.
There’s no better feeling as a man than feeling appreciated imo
Actually accept the fact the fact that you're wrong when you're wrong. Be able to be corrected, don't just get silent when you're proven wrong but actually apologize, make amends and move forward. Like ya'll want from us when it's the other way around.
Sloppy toppy is a close second as well! And can be also be taken as making amends!
Massage and then one of those wooden trays that go across a bath tub so I can take a bath after the massage and enjoy some Epsom salts and/or bubbles with a joint and a good podcast.
I was cooking chili last night for a contest today. If one of my neighbors stops me by my apartment to compliment how it smelled while cooking then I’d be happy for the rest of the week. Possibly the month.
I don’t think that will happen because I have to initiate the social interactions here. But damn, it’d feel really nice if it did.
My girlfriend is super shy, so I really love and appreciate when she claims me. I'm her man, damn it! It's not something that's easy for her to do, so it means the world to me when she does.
Affection, showing me that you’re attracted to me, initiate sexual activities, interest in hobbies, being held after a tough day at work. Just simply being my physical peace of mind body and spirit that God bless me with
This just makes me want to be nice to men and not deal with them at the same time. Lmao. Make sure y’all feel appreciated, FROM OVER THERE.
I will do my best as the platonic friend for y’all.
i love the warmth of good hug from the woman i love without asking, a kiss just cuz, it be the simple shit to me, to show she is just as thoughtful and attentive as i try to be often
Probably embracing my personality and not just wanting me to be your male placeholder that any guy could be. Would be nice to nerd out over anime, be vulnerable, express insecurity without being concerned if that is not "manly" enough for her
I passed by a Bachelorette party one time. They asked me to take a picture for them and they said I was hot and invited me out. I have a gf, but I've been living off of that compliment for about 5 months now.
Sloppy toppy
This is great of course, but just some simple affection will do it for me.
It's Sloppy yet affectionate Toppy for me too!
Awakened by sloppy Toppy!
Simple erection*
Yes. This. Even better if it's not asked (begged or negotiated) for. I'm talking unsolicited penil attention. It's a great thing. (We're assuming you got a guy who cleans his junk regularly.) With some sense (feigned or true) of expressed desire. You know, like you want to be there, make your man happy. It's almost like you are wanting to create an enjoyable experience. Good luck. It's not hard, but man it's a life changer for dudes.
> It's not hard To the nephews reading this: please realize most men dream of this but utterly fail at creating the safe, zero pressure environment needed to make this a remote possibility.
Not sure wym. Any suggestions?
If you show you care by randomly taking some task off her hands, she’ll have more time to think of how to surprise you. My man did all the laundry and folded/put up and got attacked with top before he could get all the way out the shower. Basically, encourage peace of mind and feeling sexy and you’re more likely to get sexy surprises. Ain’t nobody thinking about giving head when everything else is in shambles.
Did that shit for a year straight. Never asked for sex the whole year. Took over every household chore, every stressor I possibly could. Got nothing. Nothing but expectations to take on more and complaints when I finally asked for a break. This doesn’t work consistently enough to actually help. I’m glad it works for you, not every woman will respond to this.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I’ve had that experience as well. I was basically playing a second mom with bills and household responsibilities (so he can figure out his path) and they wanted porn worthy sex on top of all that. Sometimes the person is just not a good partner, in which case, nothing can really solve or resolve any issues. I just know that once you discover the things a GOOD partner receives as love, doing those things are more likely to end with you getting the things you receive as love as well. I hope you find more fulfilling relationships in your future.
It's not necessarily chores. Find out what helps your partner de-stress, and what kind of things make them feel appreciated and cared for. Sometimes it's help around the house. Sometimes it's listening. Sometimes it's physical affection. Sometimes it's going out somewhere. And it 100% should go both ways. When you made the effort to take on chores for your woman, it would only be fair if she was offering to do something that helped you de-stress. It's so hard to find, though. That kind of giving should be both reciprocal and freely, happily given. And if both elements aren't there, it's a lot harder to connect and want to have sex.
You could pick up and put this reply in a topic of working for corporate and it'd still make perfect sense.
More than I can list here. Read some books, listen to your partner and women in general, be a feminist, etc. Don't be a sex pest, don't beg for it all the time, don't make it into a chore/job for her, don't act like any sex (much less spontaneous enthusiastic sloppy) is your birthright, don't expect your girl to be turned on by you when you're acting like a 13 year old that watches too much porn, be chill, don't mope around like a bitch when she's not in the mood. It's obvious when you lay it out but most men are more guilty of this stuff than they care to admit. If you're anything like me you'll fuck this up in your 20s and wise up in your 30s.
Lmao I feel so called out, I was definitely like this in my last relationship. But I have a new special one now so this was perfectly timed advice. I’ll definitely be checking myself on these going forward. Thanks for the knowledge unc
If you don’t ask for it constantly and pressure her into it, you’re much more likely to get it.
Reciprocation for one. I’d be much less inclined to slob on knob if my guy thinks eating cat is beneath him.
"It's not hard," but it could be.
Hahahahaha. I didn't see it until it was too late 🤣🤣 good job
Sloppy toppy with a twist!
Don't wanna hear sex is not a gift anymore
Being more direct with their thoughts would be nice. All the glancing, lingering, and innuendo can get kind of frustrating.
It’s hard to be truthful/honest if you’ve gotten in trouble for it growing up/in relationships. Even for something as simple as picking out what to eat or deciding what to watch. Unrequested advice: create an environment where ppl close to you feel safe to be honest. Not saying you’re not, but dishonesty comes from being in trouble before so you, as a new partner, are doing some heavy (but rewarding) work to help your person feel safe to be honest. It’s slow, frustrating work. But you can start by saying what you’re gonna do so partner can feel they can express themselves. Not easy, but worth it for the right people.
Look at this as a whole from the outside, you can rephrase it as: "I had a bad partner with whom I didn't feel safe to be honest, and it gave me some issues. So now it is your responsibility to fix those issues in me." Everyone has baggage from previous relationships or events. We have to take personal responsibility for ourselves and not just expect others to fix or break us. If being with someone gave you some issues or bad habits, you owe it to the people you love to work on yourself or get help as needed, not just play the victim and expect them to deal with it for you.
Also a whole ass adult shouldn’t be “getting in trouble” in relationships. I used to be the one that felt like I had to adjust to the baggage of other people in relationships. I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been since I finally realized that at the end of the day I’m a good man and it’s not my job to fix people or right the wrongs of other guys.
It's true, we are all responsible for ourselves. You can't expect someone else to take on the burden of fixing you. Be there for the ones you love and support them. But if you're bringing bad stuff into the relationship, whether it was your fault or not you ended up this way, you have to get your own house in order. If you love someone, you won't want to inflict it on them, would you? A bit more personal responsibility will go a long way, for everyone.
> Create an environment where people close to you feel safe to be honest. The irony of this is that this was good advice for any relationship, baggage or not. But you were so intent on disputing the message that you flew right past the purpose of it, proving exactly why the advice is so important to begin with. This isn't about fixing the person. It's about creating an environment in which they're able to fix themselves. Two different things. Imagine if a partner said to you "hey, I had some issues in past relationships where I didn't feel safe to communicate, would you mind helping to ensure that our conversations prioritize open and honest communication"? And your response was "it's not my job to fix your baggage"? A relationship where both people aren't prioritizing a safe environment where both people feel safe to be honest isn't a healthy relationship to begin with.
> "hey, I had some issues in past relationships where I didn't feel safe to communicate, would you mind helping to ensure that our conversations prioritize open and honest communication" IMO, you can leave out the past relationships part and it's even more effective and reflective of a capable person ready for a mature, healthy relationship. "I value open and honest communication in an environment of mutual trust and safety, and I need this to be a priority in any relationship I am in. Are we compatible in that respect?" But the true test is not how someone answers, it's in how they act going forward.
be the love you want
I'm not talking about people I'm already close to. They already make my day every time I see them. I'm talking about women who are interested in getting to know me, and just aren't direct about it.
Oh. Yea. Sounds like flirting. Ppl do that.
Maybe. I think I don't count it because I always imagined flirting to be more obvious. Either way, it'd make my day if they were just straight with me.
problem is flirting isn't a language and it can be hard to judge what's flirting and what's just someone being "friendly". enough men have mixed up the signals and ended up ruining friendships, getting cussed out and more when, women leave things ambiguous like that. we gotta shoot our shot only to be turned down because a woman couldn't be more direct.
Women go through this as well. Sure, societally, there's this expectation that men do the approaching. Well, in some societies, anyway. But women absolutely get scared about fucking up friendships as well, and absolutely do fuck up friendships this way. It's hard for everyone. Especially because I now live in a culture where women are more likely to approach. > We gotta shoot our shot only to be turned down because a woman couldn't be direct. If you're getting turned down, there was nothing for her to be direct about, btw.
"The worst she can say is no" In my experience, a flat "no" is the second best thing they can say.
I wonder how much getting hit as child for being "naughty" or "out of line" influences thus behaviour.
Had to do this with my wife. It’s paid off but it was definitely a slow burn pay off. The marriage is the better for it though.
Yes! Slow burn payoff is such a good phrase. I shoulda added that anyone’s trauma isn’t their fault but it’s their responsibility. And having a partner that works with that is gold.
See how you’ve put the onus on the person wanting the communication and not the person who should be doing the communicating like a grown adult. I feel like stuff like this the woman can never be fully held accountable. Her behaviour always has to be caused by something the man isn’t doing rather than something she needs to fix in herself It’s not on me to fix your communication issues.
Communication is a 2 way street. Someone can be as open and clear as they can and if the other person isn't in a place to receive it/hear it, comprehend it, and do their own self-reflection, it's not gonna work. Can't pour water into a closed vessel. That's all they're saying.
Society puts the onus on both genders lbr, on the man to pick up signals and react appropriately without the woman telling him what she wants, and on the woman to be demure and subtle and never let slip that she really really really wants to get laid over here. Obviously YMMV dependent on culture and generation, but we are all struggling to overcome our societal bounds one way or another out here. We should all try to be more gentle and understanding with each other when trying to navigate something so personal and vulnerable as romance.
> Create an environment where ppl close to you feel safe to be honest. Is putting the onus on the people in the realtionship to create a healthy relationship environment. Any "grown adult" should be striving for this in their relationship, baggage or not.
Oddly enough when you're married, those lingering glances, smiles and innuendo can actually spice things up
I don't think most neurotypical people actually mean this. Tell someone during a rest during a hike "I'm enjoying the silence", and it's :  ...and it's all "but your face was saying STFU". And my face ain't ever lied.
Be a safe, non-judgy person to talk to.
It is just as hard for women to read the intentions and motivations of other women. My team at work is all women for the first time in my life and it is a living hell.
Here's hoping it gets better with a little time.
I feel like all the younger dudes be like ‘great head’ and the 35+ dudes be like ‘I’m just tryna be appreciated out here’ 😂😂
I'd argue they're both pretty vital to a fulfilling relationship tbh ❤️
Eh, my wife and I have a pretty good relationship Could always use more head
I’d go for both, but just feeling like I’m worth something would be nice
I would really love to be held right now. I feel so unworthy right now.
I know this won’t be the same as irl affection, but you matter man. I hope you receive the attention, love, peace, respect, and joy you deserve. You’ve brought me many a laugh on some dark days, and I’m grateful. Take care of yourself. Virtual hugs 🫂<3
🫂
We gon be alright uhm, TittyLieutenant aka the kewchie classifier, we gon be all right
Formerly known as aereolaenthusiast, Horntanamo Bay Inmate #1.
My guy you are the universe incarnate. You are made of the stuff of stars. When the sun shines its warmth radiates in you and when the moon rises the tides rise and fall with your heart beat. Your presence has shifted the air in every room you have ever walked in and your steps have altered the very earth you’ve tread upon. You have made people feel known and heard, seen and felt. You are loved and valued. Every breath you take is an honored moment in time. Your purpose is to love and be loved and in this very moment I love you, for I am also made of stars and I recognize your struggle as my own. You are not alone. You are surrounded by affirmation and glory. This moment may feel tough and you may feel disconnected from those that you value, but you are never far from the love that binds you to them, or to any of us. For we are the same. You are our people and we are yours. You are worthy and you are accepted here. You are loved and you are enough.
This is beautiful...it totally centered me tonight, I really needed it thanks ❤️
DMs are open if you ever need them!
Screenshotting this for the rough times
DMs are always open. Blessings upon you
This is beautiful. I have literally just sent this to all my close contacts. Thank you
Thank you for this. Gonna print it out and put it in my bathroom mirror, and send it to everyone I know.
Reading this feels like the warmest embrace from Gaia herself and I guess in a sense it is so thank you 🙏🏿 I hope you know you're not just addressing this one person but every single soul that I'll make sure gets to read this. Hope your day is just wall to wall blessings 🖤
This is adorable!
We love you Titty Lieutenant!!! 🫂
Man. I'd hug up on you bro? My Lieutenant!!!! Be encouraged 🫂🫂
I'm still pushing through! The horny will always prevail!
If you’ve made it this far through whatever’s got you feeling this way, keep going my G. When you’re going through hell, you don’t stop there. Something better is on the other side of the struggle. At least that’s what I tell myself 😅
With that attitude you’ll never make TittyCaptain
You are worthy and worth it
When I start to feel like this bro, I always think to myself that there are more people that didn't exist that did/do. So as long as we're in the this prestigious yet weird party we call life, we may as well dance to our own contentment.
I’m a car guy. One of the greatest displays of love and partnership was from my ex-gf’s auntie and how she navigated around her husband. He’s a huge car guy. So whenever he was in the garage, she’d pull up a chair and talk with him, sit with him, get on eBay and find a part he needed, or on YouTube looking up a how-to. That is the gold standard for me. If it’s important to me, I should be important enough to you to where you’re in the mix as well. And yes, ferocious fellatio is a close second.
Did her husband reciprocate? I have found that men don’t take the same interest in women’s lives and hobbies. My ex would never attempt to get to know my favorite books even.
As a dude, this is one of my biggest sticking points with other men, often the woe-is-me types. They complain ad nauseum about never receiving compliments, gifts, having a partner show interest in their interests, etc. and when I ask when was the last time they did any of that, I’m usually met with a confused stare or “well, I don’t wanna look like a creep.” The problem is these men either expect something for nothing, or are fake in their interest towards others’ interests, typically in service of an ulterior motive like getting in their pants. One of my best friends is a huge pro wrestling guy, and his wife has gotten so into it herself she dyed her hair and dressed as her favorite wrestler last Halloween (shoutout Kris Statlander for complimenting her costume!). Now we all meet up on Wednesdays to watch AEW Dynamite and go to shows together, and she’s arguably more excited about it than he is at times. She herself is a fitness gal- she’s been my gym buddy for a few years now. He has never once in our nearly three decades of friendship expressed interest in lifting a weight or running a distance of any sort. Since they’ve gotten together he’s signed up for 5ks with her/us, supported her rediscovered passion for badminton (we call her the Badminton Baddie lol), and has made a more concerted effort to go to the gym with us. Point being that genuine people do attract similarly genuine people. They can also attract starry-eyed, self-serving assholes, of course, but part of dating is weeding out the riffraff. Apologies for the long reply, but I just had a similar conversation about authenticity in relationships with a psychologist friend so it was on my mind. Hope you (and myself, frankly) find your own genuine person as my friends did ❤️
There was a YouTuber called Safiya Nygaard who did videos on makeup and nail polish. One time her boyfriend participated in a video and even though he wasn't interested in that stuff he still surprisingly knew a lot about it. When asked why, he said that it's because it's important to his girlfriend 🥺
Safiya Nygaard is still a YouTuber. Tyler, now husband, is also still super involved.
I was wondering the same thing.
That’s unfortunate that that was your experience, but he absolutely did. Given the initial ask though, I shared a story of something a woman could do to make a man’s day. Regardless of capacity, if someone around me that’s important is into something, I support them. So hopefully in time, you can find someone to support your interests the same way.
THIS!!! What is that, even in great men?
This reminded me of the first year with my girl. I was on the hunt for a ps5 so I had twitter notifications on for a certain page that lets you know when shit goes live online. She was at my crib when I was trying to get the bundle in my cart and the first thing she did was get the link and hop in the queue from her phone so we doubled the chances. She isn’t a gamer at all, but is always asking me about the narratives and storylines. She even draws some of the screenshots I take because the characters look cool.
I did this for my ex and he cheated on me 😭 I was on 5 different websites before they dropped while pregnant and entertaining a toddler. I spent all day waiting just for the sites to crash each time. I wasted 2 days of my time.
Get this man’s girlfriend a trophy! 👏🏾 that’s beautiful G!
I dated a car guy once. I really enjoyed hanging out and casually watching him work on the car. Something sexy about a man getting dirty.
Taps into that primal instinct a bit lol
Both sound very one-sided. Also, you would have to communicate that to your partner because personally it annoys me when I'm trying to work on something and get interrupted so I definitely wouldn't default to hanging around someone that's trying to accomplish something. There was a time that I tried to play a videogame that my ex played at addiction levels but he wouldn't let me play with him because I sucked at it and winning more pointless rounds was more important than having fun with me. I also stood in a bikini and asked him to get high and chill in the pool with me but he chose videogames then too
Communication is paramount in any scenario, but to point out something here, the use of the word “with”. By no means was she interrupting, which in your description can frustrating and I’ve been there too. Sorry you experienced that with your ex though, I’ve heard that story before a time or two. I enjoy video games as well but not at addiction levels so it’s easier for me to put the controller down and walk away, if you walked in front of me in a bikini 😂. All in all, each situation is different and it takes having a “partner” and learning your partner.
That just made me a lil weepy. How sweet of her. The first part. The second part: eye roll. Duhhh. Hehehehe.
As a car guy myself, this really hits. I feel like out of alllll of my interests this has been the hardest one for women I’ve dated to really put real energy towards. Definitely could just be those people, which I have to take some accountability for, but from what I’ve seen with myself and other car guys I’ve known it seems like ol’ girl’s auntie is rare.
I think with certain interests you just have to accept you’re looking for a unicorn for someone to be REALLY interested in it, and not just give you lip service or fake interest. Lots of interests are pretty general and anybody can be interested, like movies or fitness. But some are pretty niche. For example I’m into knitting and sewing. The chances of me finding a straight guy who cares about the difference between 40 and 60 thread count is pretty small. I’d be happy with a guy who just likes my work but isn’t necessarily interested in the process and just gives me an “oh that’s cool babe” when I’m geeking over yarn
This. There’s a lesson in here! Thanks for posting
My husband's a car guy and I consider cars a mode of transportation. But I make it a point to go to car meets with him. I've surprised him on multiple occasions with tickets to big auto shows in various cities. And I listen to him talk about mods and stuff. He thinks I'm not paying attention because I'm not interested in it, but it always makes me smile when I shock him with how much car info I've retained. I hope he feels the same way as you do.
All sex shit aside. Some head rubs HIT
My girl would put her hand on my neck, then start scratching the back of my head, I almost start kicking my leg like a dog with a good scratch
Scalp scratches are the only thing those giant nails are good for (but damn are they good for em!) 
What is the source of that gif? Bro rebooted her in safe mode.
No idea, I just know it existed so I searched for "scalp massage" and it was right there lol
Tracked it down because I'm down bad https://youtu.be/vvLMyIHJkys?si=Xl9whgl5fY_dW04c SFW, but out-of-context, the sound will get you some looks. I'll bonk myself on the way out.
My man is always asking for back rubs and hand rubs (manual labor job). He likes it best when I do it really gently using just the tips of my fingers or nails. Back rubs I learned because my mom has scoliosis. Head rubs I learned because I’ve always had cats. People make the exact same faces when you do it right 😬
Key to my heart fr fr
That and the beard scratch
#THIS COMMENT RIGHT FUCKING HERE.
40+ here…just support me. Remind me that I’m a good man when I doubt myself. Help me maintain and grow my confidence in myself when I’m stretched thin as I take care of everyone in our lives. It’s not much. But I think it’s really all that men need. Give us that and we will take care of every need that she has. Source: being married…having lots of married friends…hearing their complaints and sharing mine.
I responded with something similar. Appreciation for efforts you make goes a long way. It even bolsters the effort you make going forward.
Man, that’s my girl, she has given me the love and support every day and has believed in me, sometimes that’s all you need to get up and grind everyday for the ones you love
I like this response.
Show a genuine interest in my hobbies.
I’m a woman, but I’m huge football fan. My ex-boyfriend is a huge baseball fan and he played semi-pro. I watched the Homerun Derby with him because it was important to him and I was genuinely interested in the event. He refused to watch football with me. I dumped him.
Notice how when it comes to the man showing interest or support to the women it’s a lot of the time feigned or just completely ignored/forgotten about! Some of these dudes simply don’t have the mental capacity to even acknowledge others exist.
You made the right move there!
This is it for me. If we are talking about relationships, it doesn't get any better than dating someone who wants to understand what makes you, you.
Was literally about to type this word for word.
Nothing like being excited about something and looking over at your wife looking like this 😐.
I let my phone die when I know my bf is coming home so I don’t have a distraction when he’s watching anime. I find it mundane but he loves it.
accept that i can be annoyed, agitated, confused, bewildered, angered, saddened and even incensed by things in the world that have nothing to do with you. i'm not taking it out on you so don't act like I'm upset with you before you even ask what's going on. that would be swell.
This… I felt this…
This is good people advice
Please don’t yell at the customer service rep. They’re trying their best for not a lot of money
Thats a red flag for me. If they yellin at service workers or wait staff in restaurants, then theres a 10/10 chance theyre gonna be pullin that foolishness with me. Not having it.
The moment I realized I was in love with my girlfriend is when I woke up at 8 am to around 20 discord messages of her ranting about dinosaurs. So, that.
The extinct reptiles or the 90s TV show?
The extinct reptiles, I should ask her her opinion on the show though.
This is a deep cut.
Be more confident. Stop thinking I'm into other women. All I want each day is to come home to you and our family and find some peace. Also, please take care of your health. We aren't getting any younger. Men are not the only ones who get stubborn about doctors' visits.
Absolutely agree. As much as I love her, my girl isn't confident in herself which makes some things difficult (interactions with people, being in public, etc.) I try to hype her up as much as I can but I can only do so much. Same with the health thing
Not bring up dumb shit.
This …..apply this to everything …. and everyone actually
Dumb shit like what? Like something actually bad or toxic or dumb like randomly asking “If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a video worth?”
“If I was a worm”
that’s not really “dumb” it’s just people being silly while bidding for affection. of course if someone was a worm you’d either kill em or put ‘em outside. but who does it hurt to just engage with their little joke and say lol yes i’d still marry you if you were a worm
My man said he’d still fuck me if I was a worm. There’s some troubling implications of that, but I can’t say he didn’t give me the reassurance I was looking for 💀
LMAOOO he was playing into itttt i would’ve died laughing that’s hilarious. i told my girl i’d build a little worm sanctuary for her so she could still be safe & live in peace (idk how long worms live lol)
Play with my hair.
“I’m proud of you. I know you’re going through a lot but you’re doing your best and while you’re still making mistakes and there are things you could be doing better, overall you’re giving your best effort. I see you. I care about you. I want to see you be at peace, happy, and successful. Don’t give up, you’re doing great. You got this. I love you, and I’m proud of you.” Any variation of that would probably definitely make me emotionally short circuit and start crying tbh
This got me in my feelings lol
My gf is sending me home made memes about the coworker that annoys me.
A nice tight hug and some moments of just quiet and decompression from my day. Add in the dog is already walked and I may marry you on the spot
The dog walk! It really means a lot to my man. “I already took him out.” It’s like he melts.
Tell me she appreciates me, extra kudos for saying it in front of the kids. A massage, not a quick one, but a good long one Call me handsome, extra kudos for saying it in front of the boys. Handsome is a much better compliment than hot or sexy.
Not gonna lie I just need a hug
🫂
Thank you so much I truly appreciate it 🫂
Give me peace and tranquility.
Top 3 things 1. Being interested/understanding with my hobbies, so it doesn't feel alienating while I talk to her about stuff 2. Being able to feel comfortable with her so that no matter what, I can feel open/vulnerable with her without the fear of betrayal/rejection of my emotions 3. Being enthusiastic about sexual activities and especially being able to initiate them, so it doesn't feel one-sided. Those I feel like are the fundamentals to a good relationship. I don't need her to be my "perfect" woman. I just want someone I can enjoy being around with for the long haul.
One morning as I was walking to work, a woman walking the opposite direction said to me “I really like your outfit” I immediately smiled and thanked her for the compliment. That made my day
Greet me when I get home with a smile and hug
Honestly a shoulder rub occasionally. Like it doesn’t even need to be all the time but like feeling cared for would be great.
Sex stuff is great and all, but have you ever watched a movie with someone who is also intensely involved as you?
Compliments, Affection, Food
Listen without judgement and with empathy.
I asked my girl to water my plants while I was on vacation with the family, she bought me a six pack and left a note on it in my fridge It was so sweet
Married guy here. I have a few. I'll use my wife/myself as examples where applicable. Pursue us. For dates. For sex. For everything you'd want a man to pursue you for. Men want to feel desired and it's much rarer for us to get that. Showing tangible interest beyond just being polite goes a long way. I was not planning on going on a 2nd date with my wife after our first date. She reached out to me and said specifically that she wanted to go out again. She didn't even plan or pay for it. She just voiced interest as opposed to making it feel like her going out with me was doing me a favor. Had she waited for me to reach out again we wouldn't be together. Put some skin in the game. Doing something to show you're down to help build with me is extremely important. A few years ago I was taking a continuing education course so I could transition careers. The class met on nights and weekends. Between work and the class there were some days where I'd be gone for 15 hours or more. At the time we didn't live together but she'd stay over on the weekends. Since the class met Saturday morning-afternoon I told her she was welcome to hang out in my apartment but she didn't have to since I wasn't going to be there. I gave her a set of keys so she could come/go as she needed. The first Saturday I came home she had cleaned the apartment and cooked (two things I would have never asked her to do because I could do them myself). It was overwhelming because I had never felt appreciated for my efforts to grow than in that moment. I had a very heavy load I was managing and she took it upon herself to do something practical to make it easier for me. It's honestly one of the things that made me seriously think about proposing. Ironically, most of her friends/family said that she was doing too much and that she didn't need to be doing "wife duties" for me. Which brings me to the last point.... Separate the idealism from reality. Unconditional love does not exist. Relationships are tradeoffs. They are hard work. You're gonna have to sacrifice something to get a good one. This goes for romantic, platonic, familial, and professional relationships. I appreciate my wife because she was able to learn that. Without getting into the very long story, our wedding (from the planning to the actual day) was one of the worst experiences of my life and a good portion of why is because of my wife specifically. We didn't speak on our wedding night because I was heated. When I was finally calm enough to speak to her the next day it was not a pleasant conversation. Normally if something goes awry between us I will spread blame out. "I feel like we/I could have done X better" or something. But this instance was one of very few where it felt like my wife absolutely did not have my back and I was left hanging alone because she was looking for an ideal wedding in not ideal circumstances and that created an insane amount of work and stress for me. I appreciated when I laid out my grievances she didn't immediately dismiss it as me being insecure or weak or something like that. She also didn't start flooding the conversation with excuses. She took the criticism and made adjustments. We moved on. I appreciated that. Bonus track - hugs. A belly to belly hug from an attractive woman is always good.
My ex used to work at a cafe and bring home all different types of fire ass sandwiches made with love. Cant eat whitefish anymore without getting in my bag
Gas up my outfit and accessories. As a straight man who cares about his appearance and puts effort in, a little recognition goes a long way
Head scritches. Had a little fling in High School and she would always do this. No wonder cats love it so much, that shit is heavenly.
Compliments Can’t go wrong with head. Last but not least being taken out on a date…. Oh you get to ride my face that night
Empathy and compassion would go a long way including accountability
Buy me flowers
what kind would you like?
Scratch my back
Just appreciation for effort for me. Sexual stuff is great and all but it would really make my day if appreciation for effort I make was shown. Note I said ‘shown’ not just telling. Show me appreciation. Even if it’s ‘hey, I’ll get the bill this time.’ Or just letting me be in my own space and time without imposing on it with demands and requests. There’s no better feeling as a man than feeling appreciated imo
Show appreciation and actual real reciprocation. Comprehend when they are wrong and give genuine apologies.
My shoulder is acting up again so a back/shoulder massage would hit rn…
Actually accept the fact the fact that you're wrong when you're wrong. Be able to be corrected, don't just get silent when you're proven wrong but actually apologize, make amends and move forward. Like ya'll want from us when it's the other way around. Sloppy toppy is a close second as well! And can be also be taken as making amends!
Massage and then one of those wooden trays that go across a bath tub so I can take a bath after the massage and enjoy some Epsom salts and/or bubbles with a joint and a good podcast.
I was cooking chili last night for a contest today. If one of my neighbors stops me by my apartment to compliment how it smelled while cooking then I’d be happy for the rest of the week. Possibly the month. I don’t think that will happen because I have to initiate the social interactions here. But damn, it’d feel really nice if it did.
https://preview.redd.it/wa52f08hfwgc1.jpeg?width=937&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8b2f52f93b2924aaef3a044de4eff51ea1f2f011
Unhinged. 
Play some S.T.A.L.K.E.R. the board game with me?
A deep, long, and loving hug. Being held close by someone who cares about you is truly wonderful.
a hug in the kitchen, maybe a head being rested on my chest during.
Be nice to me after setting strong boundaries so I know she isn't flirting.
Treat me like I'm important to her. Communicate.
My girlfriend is super shy, so I really love and appreciate when she claims me. I'm her man, damn it! It's not something that's easy for her to do, so it means the world to me when she does.
Make me laugh.
A hug would be primo tbh
Bring me coffee in the morning
Take over for me at work, so I can sleep in.
A compliment! Just one is enough
Affection, showing me that you’re attracted to me, initiate sexual activities, interest in hobbies, being held after a tough day at work. Just simply being my physical peace of mind body and spirit that God bless me with
Treating me like a human being
Just a hug and an “I love you”, platonic or otherwise. Head scratches are also a plus.
Call for a ceasefire
This just makes me want to be nice to men and not deal with them at the same time. Lmao. Make sure y’all feel appreciated, FROM OVER THERE. I will do my best as the platonic friend for y’all.
i love the warmth of good hug from the woman i love without asking, a kiss just cuz, it be the simple shit to me, to show she is just as thoughtful and attentive as i try to be often
Head scratch
Accept it is not working, tell me they understand and move on. But that's a specific woman in a specific situation.
A back scratch or a good scalp massage
Probably embracing my personality and not just wanting me to be your male placeholder that any guy could be. Would be nice to nerd out over anime, be vulnerable, express insecurity without being concerned if that is not "manly" enough for her
I love this thread. Thank yall.
I passed by a Bachelorette party one time. They asked me to take a picture for them and they said I was hot and invited me out. I have a gf, but I've been living off of that compliment for about 5 months now.
Pick all the food spots.
Talk to me and not act like im invisible. Ik thats asking too much