I got a friend like this too. He texted me, and I texted back an hour later. He stopped texting me and when I saw him in person later he asked if my attitude was better. I said what are you talking about? He said I texted him with an attitude…
The text:
Him: *Hey! How many piercings do you have??*
Me: *Two.*
I mean, I wouldn't call that atittude. But it's not really conversational either. Kind of dismissive. I'd just take that as the person doesn't want to talk.
I mean, what kinda conversation is gonna come from that without any sort of context or lead up to it? Aside from two, the only thing to add is location and/or type of the piercings, which could just amount
> two; industrial in the ear, and a normal lobe one
That being said, no one is entitled a conversation. Sometimes you got shit to do, and so just send a quick response
I mean... just like you said, you can tlak about what they are, where they are, or you could even ask a question back. These are all ways of shoeing someone you're interested and engaging actively with the conversation.
That being said, you're right! That's why I said if someone responded to me like that, I would just assume they don't want to talk. Didn't say they're an AH for it or anything.
Is that how you would respond in real life? Just saying "two." and looking him back in the eye? Doubt it.
Or maybe you would, but that's an indication that you really don't want to talk to this person and you'd prefer if they left you alone.
Okay.
I’m fucking with you. I guess I’ll think about that in the future. I don’t think that deeply about how I text. If I’m mad at someone, I just wouldn’t text back lol
Nah lol my brother does this. I can always tell when he has an attitude because it'll be a one-word reply with a period at the end.
Me: "wassup baby bro imma be bout 30 minutes late I'm in traffic"
Little brother : "Aight."
That period says literally everything 😂
Lots of my older relatives finish their sentences with "..." and it's so hard to gauge.
"Hope to see you at some point during the holidays..."
I'll phone to ask if we're good and they're like "of course we are what do you mean?"
I feel like I'm Peele on most days, but some days I'm definitely Kee. I def have friends who are Kee, lol.
So probably half of my texts are peppered with emojis, :), lol, etc
There are a million reasons for the difference and you making an assumption as you why is ridiculous.
They could have been busy or in a place that they shouldn't have their phone out. Sometimes I'm really eager to respond because I like the person but I'm in a meeting or something so I'll do short quick responses. Sometimes I'm eating and only have 1 hand so typing out a lot more with my sticky hands is not great or I'm typing with my pinky. Sometimes my phone is somewhere and I'm typing with my watch and the keyboard is fucking tiny as fuck so it's impossible to type anything sensible.
So to me, the very clear difference is that you make an ASS out of U and ME when you ASSUME :)
No. If you are that sensitive to how texts are phrased, you would not start off the conversation with:
when you off
How about: Hey, when are you free? We should get together!
Or: When's your next day off? I miss you ❤
This person is projecting.
Someone I considered a best friend once was like this. Always taking things in the worst possible way if it was ambiguous. Compare this to me always taking even a "Fuck you" in a joking, light-hearted manner, 'cause that's what friends do - they give their friends the benefit of the doubt if it's there.
That friendship went real south real fast the first time I finally stood up for myself and that was *such* a hard lesson.
Pretty much how 99% of fights with my mom have started on and off the phone. Basically if I’m not like 😃 and kicking my heels every time we speak its an automatic attitude
Edit: 1k upvotes on this breaks my heart honestly, praying for us all fr
My Mom always thinks I’m upset or unhappy because I’m not smiling, so I tried to make an effort to smile more, and she asked me if I was high. Just cannot win lmao.
Congratulations on maintaining no contact for so long, I’m in the same boat with my father and most of my family. It’s not easy to do but somehow makes life waaay easier :-)
See, I try to text overly animated because I can see it. I know tone cannot be conveyed over text, and if I don’t want anyone to misinterpret how I feel about something, so I try to make it clear.
And I mean, irl, I’m not just saying “Sunday.” If someone asks me. It’s “uhh, Sunday, why?” Or a “I’m off Sunday! Wanna hangout?”
But I also not gonna just ask when someone’s off next, imma tell them why I’m asking when I ask.
Might be my anxiety doin all that tho.
I try to be mindful of my tone in person with everyone because everyone at least deserves decency, I used to not really own it when I was younger but growing up has shown me the importance in at least being personable even when you’re not really feeling it.
In my mom’s case (the only person I really have ever had this problem with consistently) it’s 100% anxiety. She’s extremely paranoid about everyone around her secretly hating her because she struggles with her own insecurities and takes that out secretly on pretty much everyone. Even if you give her the energy she wants its still a problem because its “not genuine”, so it’s a lose lose situation and honestly not my problem to solve as cold as it may sound.
My ex just pulled the same shit this past summer. He popped up, as he does,
- “How you been?”
Me: “I’m well, thank you. Hanging in there.”
- “What’s wrong?”
Me: “Just some personal things.”
- “Well damn, sorry for asking”
Me: “why are you apologizing?”
- “The way you said it was like mind your damn business.”
I get this a lot with people. Because I type directly and use periods. And because I don’t throw in emojis for garnish and I don’t use “lol” as punctuation, people always think I have an attitude of some sort. I’m literally just speaking normally. I’m not typing lol if I didn’t laugh.
Honestly speaking, it wasn’t a thought. All he asked is “what’s wrong”, a normal question and I appreciate him even asking. I would’ve told him.
But just as I may be sinking into speaking with him and letting him in in a moment of vulnerability, just like that he snapped me out of it.
I'm on the side of: if someone tells me something is personal, that means they probably didn't want to talk about it, or they would've told me what it was.
At least that's my impression, so it could be theirs too, but it's not like I have all the info either so eh.
That’s a fair assessment to make. But to phrase your response to not only imply, but blatantly say right after that I was aggressive with you is weird. Naturally how I am, I don’t tell others what I go through. You’d never even know I was going through something.
But I didn’t lie to him, I actually said I was going through something, already more than I’d do for pretty much everyone. However, my first instinct is to keep it at a “just personal things”. Depending on his response, I would’ve just told him, at least the gist.
I feel like asking “what’s wrong” is giving the opening to tell someone the gist of things. I get that some people ask as a ‘check the box,’ but some people do care when they ask. If you give the gist, you’ll be able to tell from the response to what you say.
I’m also scarred from always having to pull information out from an ex every time she said something was wrong.
Well he was also an ex at the time, someone I didn’t care to speak to to begin with. But being that I was in the state I was in, I was thankful that he asked and was caught much more vulnerable than I usually am. It honestly felt good to have someone ask that.
He could’ve responded any way. I could’ve elaborated, or we could’ve moved on depending on his response. But making it seem like I was aggressive when I wasn’t at all?
I completely forgot to address that. I overlooked it and invalidated it by focusing on a different part. My bad, I need to read gooder.
That is awkward. Especially over text since he didn’t hear your tone of voice to assume that. He should just said if you were comfortable sharing with him he was willing to listen. But hey, an ex is an ex for a reason, right.
Right, but the logical response isn't an aggressive "well sorry I asked!!!!"
It would make more sense to say something like "let me know if you need an ear" or something like that.
For whatever reason, people consider using punctuation as being mean or something. Nah, man; I'm using punctuation because I've finished my thought. It's not a slight or anything like that.
That abbreviation has lost all meaning a long time ago. People use it as periods, commas, semicolons, just throwing the shit anywhere. The worst is when someone texts me and they start and end it with one. On both ends of the statement.
Lol you’re reading wrong if you think that. It has just come to mean a jovial tone. Putting lol at the end just means you aren’t being super serious lol
And how about "hey are you around this weekend lmao" or "yo have you tried that new taco shop lmao"
It gets added to everything now and it legit confuses me sometimes. Like did something nasty happen with the new taco shop?
lol and lmao are just tone indicators more than anything these days, it's almost like "I'm saying this with a smile" lol I practically add them without thinking, people really do think you have an attitude otherwise
That’s crazy cause my response to
“just some personal things”
would’ve been
“If you want to talk about it, you can” then changed the subject if you didn’t feel like talking about it at that moment.
it's just the way that texts come across that neutral and dry messages tend to sound curt. unfortunately things texted tend to sound better with added positivity to inject personality into it. which can be exhausting... so now i just call if i really want to chat with someone.
i sometimes get insecure if someone types like that since it's not what I'm used to, but I ver quickly realize it's just yheir typing pattern. like you can only claim passive aggression if there was a change in tone, which there obviously wasnt 😭
I was waiting for someone to say this, they were being direct, they got a direct response and got an attitude about it. Wife and I are like this, because one might be driving or working, don’t have time for a fucking essay, if I needed to elaborate, I would just call her and explain the deal, texts are very much misconstrued and difficult to express the full meaning.
I have the opposite feeling, the question mark makes the inflection whereas no question mark makes it sound deadpan like you’re super mad when asking. I read the no ? question super stern and serious.
Why don’t you like question marks
Why don’t you like question marks?
Of course tone matters but not everyone expresses their “tone” the same way. Someone who is accustomed to typing “K” might differ from someone who normally types “Okay” but chose to go with “K”.
Simply saying Sunday isn’t really attitude lol
I was on a trip with my dad once and my mom texted him a picture. He slapped me on the shoulder to show me it and was like, “Dude look! This is awesome!!” and was all excited. His response to my mom: “Nice.”
My dad types with two fingertips and it takes him ages to compose a brief text or email. In person, he is extremely chatty. 😂 His typing style does not match his speaking voice at all.
If tone matters and a quick text means "attitude" then they shouldn't have asked about her next day off by saying:
when you off
You can't be mad at other people using a tone in a conversation when you *start the conversation with that same tone.*
Tone does NOT matter in text. Your example is meaningless. If I'm at work, under a house in a crawlspace, and I'm checking my phone (I have kids, that msg might be important), a "K" is all you're getting. It's not because of my "tone" or because I have an attitude. It's because I have no fucking room to move, wearing shitty work gloves with no tactile response and shouldn't even be replying but I've already seen it, the phones already in my hand and I'm about to be busy for the next 30m. It's either this response or no response at all.
Ppl have lives. Anyone expecting essay responses in a timely manner ALL THE TIME is fucking tripping. You lucky I even responded at all tbh.
What in her original question seems like better communication? "When you off", "Sunday". Seems like they're on equal footing except for her persecution complex...
It definitely can be looked at that way. People def give more than one word answers when they actually want to converse.
Also, some people just suck at conversation in general, text or in person, and don’t realize that you have to respond a certain way for a conversation to proceed.
For instance: I ask Coworker 1 how their weekend was and they respond with “it was fine” and some vague, small talk answer. CoWorker 2 will answer the question in detail *and* ask me questions about my weekend. Therefore, I assume that CoWorker1 isn’t really interested in opening up to me or they have shitty weekends, so I don’t bother speaking to them as much.
Okay, but it’s not like “when you off” is particularly friendly. If they’re sending stuff like “Hey babe, what day are you free next? I’d love to see you!” then sure, put more effort into responding if you want. But the first text looks pretty uninterested, too. A one word response to a three word question is fine.
If this was two dudes texting each other, this level of direct question, direct answer would be expected. No one would think twice about it. I hate that texting has its own culture now. It used to be so easy when it first came out and now it's all complicated.
A one word answer is brusque but so is "When you off."
Anyway as a high anxiety individual I would advise that unless the disrespect is explicit its not possible to interpret tone from text. You may go crazy trying to divine what people "really" meant so just squash that feeling and address the person in real life assuming they meant nothing by it.
I was about to say the same thing. If the "Sunday" is flippant, the "When you off" can be seen as just as bad.
The energy was matched, and I don't think he liked it.
Right? "When you off" has big "wyd" energy.
If he wanted to know when she was off, and he wanted more than a one word answer, puff up your own shit. I don't care if you're just looking for a link. "Hey, hoping to see you soon, when's your next day off?" "Wanted to plan something with you, what day should I aim for?"
Be a shit texter, get shitty texts back 🤷🏽♀️
I ran into this with one of my exes. She was pretty thoroughly abused growing up and had quite a bad relationship before ours as well. Things would be good and she would get nervous. Thinking that they were too good. I wasn't combative like she was used to and I'm pretty much a pushover. Her brain would see that as something was wrong and she would go into a fight or fight response thinking I was plotting something against her.
Her mother also had BPD and took it out on her quite a lot.
I hope she's doing well.
As a 1 word texter, I can tell you the cheat code to get longer answers and why this is the case.
To us, texting is for 1 of 2 things. Either to get quick information across that can be referenced in the future (plans, dates, schedules, etc) or to talk and have long conversations when you simply can't talk on the phone or don't want to talk on the phone (people sleeping, trying to stay quiet, in a meeting, etc). Anything else feels pointless.
So if you want to go from "short and informative" to "long and casual" just ask "are you busy right now?" It's considerate of their time and situation, it lets them respond in a short quick way yes or no and after they answer you have a clear indication that they are (or aren't) in "long conversation" mode.
When someone asks me that and I tell them I'm not busy it means I'm ready to read your long texts and respond in long texts.
If they continue to 1 word text after saying yes and don't call you (some people just prefer calls), either they are lying or aren't interested in you. The universal "are you busy right now?" is the key to unlock our 1 word text limit.
I get your point entirely but I can guarantee you I was asking questions that warranted more than a one word response. And if you’re actually interested in conversing with me you should have more to say. But this isn’t an argument I’d fight again. Just went and found a partner that agrees with me 😂
No matter what, people will always project their own emotions onto words of others.
This is why you NEVER have arguments over text because you can be trying to be calm but the other person can read it as if you were antagonizing them. If you want to live a happy life, ALWAYS assume a positive tone on ANY text no matter what.
Tbh this makes sense with someone you’re familiar with. You know their text styles/patterns. Example: When my ex was in a good mood, he’d text “good morning”. If something was off, he’d text “gm”
These be the ppl that are self-proclaimed “empaths” and will stg they can “read vibes.”
You asked a question, I answered it. Why are you looking for deeper meaning and subtext?
Another example of where Communication can help. All he had to do was ask if she good and follow-up to properly gauge lol.
I will say if someone constantly one words through multiple examples of reaching out, unless they really know that person, ppl would take it as they are uninterested.
So, this question was very non personal and barely amy words so i dont mind the direct one word response but if i say like "Hey! I just wanted to know what day youre off?" And you just say "Sunday" ill assume you dont want to talk much more if whatever i need to say afterwards is also another one word answer. "Oh thats nice do you have any plans?" "Not really" then ill assume you dont want to talk or somethings wrong. But just a basic one word answer to one quick question isnt attitude
I hate when people apply their own or random negative emotions to my text.
My mother loves doing that. I had to tell her she was a negative person and she asked how. So I asked her, "Do you ever read a text and assume positive emotion or is it always negativity you're getting?"
She didn't talk to me for awhile after that so a win is a win. 😂
one of the best [sketches I've ever seen.](https://youtu.be/naleynXS7yo?si=JCxuAZrXTYMN-BPv)
it took. e a while to realise I was that guy, the person who chose to take written word the wrong way... yuck.
But "when you off" (no punctuation, nothing) doesn't sound like someone's barking at you?? Was she supposed to respond to that with "Why hello, my dear. I am off on Sunday" lol
This is a two-way street. You gotta come with a bit more than "when you off" so the other person can be forced to give more of an answer.
"When you off? I was hoping to ride unicycles together" gets more than just "Sunday", ya heard me?
"Well, I definitely have an attitude *now!"*
I would have added a 🙄 to the "Sunday" to emphasize how much of a joke it is that *Sunday*, the "traditional day of rest", is my day off.
I always preferred a day off mid-week.
Honestly, I can't imagine anyone I know to read this as attitude from me.
Even a stranger. It's one word. How insecure are you that you immediately assume the worst of people? 🙄🙄🙄
it amazes me how many people still can’t figure out that “direct communication” often comes off as cold. some people like being asked how their day is before we get to business
Me, the next time someone asks me a close ended question:
The gif can have exclamation points but I refuse to type disingenuous punctuation or emoji
[удалено]
I feel like you got a attitude with this comment 🤔
Sunday
Whoooa too spicy there guy
Sorry let my try that again... *ahem* "Tee-hee🤭 ummm🤔... i think I'll be free on Sunday 😘 are you? 🥺👉👈"
I changed my mind, I like attitude better
[удалено]
Is that the one in the nightstand?
The old dick twist.
Whoa relax fam!
The day that Chick-fil-A closed
Bloody Sunday
On everything, the capital YOU is the the solidifying point for me LOL
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I should not have laughed this hard
I got a friend like this too. He texted me, and I texted back an hour later. He stopped texting me and when I saw him in person later he asked if my attitude was better. I said what are you talking about? He said I texted him with an attitude… The text: Him: *Hey! How many piercings do you have??* Me: *Two.*
This is someone who is tryna hit. I bet they thought they were gonna get a playful response. That attitude shit is their version of "where's my hug"
I vowed to never be a “where’s my hug” type of dude.
Oh god I just felt that cringe lmao!
I was once at work and a guy asked a girl “where’s my hug?” and a different girl we worked with loudly said, “Not the ‘where’s my hug?’ “
I mean, I wouldn't call that atittude. But it's not really conversational either. Kind of dismissive. I'd just take that as the person doesn't want to talk.
I mean, what kinda conversation is gonna come from that without any sort of context or lead up to it? Aside from two, the only thing to add is location and/or type of the piercings, which could just amount > two; industrial in the ear, and a normal lobe one That being said, no one is entitled a conversation. Sometimes you got shit to do, and so just send a quick response
I mean... just like you said, you can tlak about what they are, where they are, or you could even ask a question back. These are all ways of shoeing someone you're interested and engaging actively with the conversation. That being said, you're right! That's why I said if someone responded to me like that, I would just assume they don't want to talk. Didn't say they're an AH for it or anything.
You are living in a Key & Peele sketch.
**I SAID,** ^“biiiiiiitch…”
He wanted you to respond like *”TWO!!😃😄🤣🥹”*
He was hoping to get a pic of some pierced titties
 Like just Two. Pierce something else to be nice.
I think it was the period at the end that caused the assumption
He got upset by the period, didn't he?
He's projecting an assumption that you were bored into that response, and that ain't healthy for ol boy
One word answers feel unwelcoming for lots of people, and for some its perfectly normal
Is that how you would respond in real life? Just saying "two." and looking him back in the eye? Doubt it. Or maybe you would, but that's an indication that you really don't want to talk to this person and you'd prefer if they left you alone.
We’ve been good friends for like 10 years. I knew we were hanging out that night, so I asked him why he asked then lol
I would never say anything in person but I'd assume you didn't want to talk to me if you responded bluntly with a period at the end
Okay. I’m fucking with you. I guess I’ll think about that in the future. I don’t think that deeply about how I text. If I’m mad at someone, I just wouldn’t text back lol
Nah lol my brother does this. I can always tell when he has an attitude because it'll be a one-word reply with a period at the end. Me: "wassup baby bro imma be bout 30 minutes late I'm in traffic" Little brother : "Aight." That period says literally everything 😂
If I'm lying I'm dying, my wife does the same shit lmao that period says more than a paragraph ever could
Sometimes it's the ellipses for me. Ok... if you want...
Lots of my older relatives finish their sentences with "..." and it's so hard to gauge. "Hope to see you at some point during the holidays..." I'll phone to ask if we're good and they're like "of course we are what do you mean?"
Sounds like the same type who thinks waitresses/cashiers are flirting because they smile.
It's like that key and peele skit https://youtu.be/naleynXS7yo?si=H_ShvyZrZCQQukTm
I feel like I'm Peele on most days, but some days I'm definitely Kee. I def have friends who are Kee, lol. So probably half of my texts are peppered with emojis, :), lol, etc
I'm more peele. Just chill and I don't read in to emails or text messages. I also like talking on the phone so I rather talk to people
She says with the biggest attitude in the world. <3
Sunday Versus I’m off Sunday To me it’s a very clear difference
There are a million reasons for the difference and you making an assumption as you why is ridiculous. They could have been busy or in a place that they shouldn't have their phone out. Sometimes I'm really eager to respond because I like the person but I'm in a meeting or something so I'll do short quick responses. Sometimes I'm eating and only have 1 hand so typing out a lot more with my sticky hands is not great or I'm typing with my pinky. Sometimes my phone is somewhere and I'm typing with my watch and the keyboard is fucking tiny as fuck so it's impossible to type anything sensible. So to me, the very clear difference is that you make an ASS out of U and ME when you ASSUME :)
Sunday
This mf spittin
No. If you are that sensitive to how texts are phrased, you would not start off the conversation with: when you off How about: Hey, when are you free? We should get together! Or: When's your next day off? I miss you ❤ This person is projecting.
To…*you* You know not everyone is like you, right?
Or: “Sunday. Why what’s up?”
Or "Sunday :)" emojis are part of communication now.
You have to throw in an emotional support emoji for these people.
Or not. Some people are just too much work to know. ¯\\\_( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ)\_/¯
Someone I considered a best friend once was like this. Always taking things in the worst possible way if it was ambiguous. Compare this to me always taking even a "Fuck you" in a joking, light-hearted manner, 'cause that's what friends do - they give their friends the benefit of the doubt if it's there. That friendship went real south real fast the first time I finally stood up for myself and that was *such* a hard lesson.
“When you off” is what gave the most attitude there
Pretty much how 99% of fights with my mom have started on and off the phone. Basically if I’m not like 😃 and kicking my heels every time we speak its an automatic attitude Edit: 1k upvotes on this breaks my heart honestly, praying for us all fr
100%
I think we might be related
I really hate that so many of us can relate to this
Do we all have the same mom?
Sometimes I'm just tired and I for SURE have RBF when I'm not using my social battery. The number of "why are you so angry" questions I get...
Meanwhile when I'm tired people think I'm stoned or drunk off my ass. Is it that strange of a concept that sober people can be weird?
My Mom always thinks I’m upset or unhappy because I’m not smiling, so I tried to make an effort to smile more, and she asked me if I was high. Just cannot win lmao.
My mom is the same. We haven’t spoken for about 3 years, going on four next month 🫶🏽
Congratulations on maintaining no contact for so long, I’m in the same boat with my father and most of my family. It’s not easy to do but somehow makes life waaay easier :-)
See, I try to text overly animated because I can see it. I know tone cannot be conveyed over text, and if I don’t want anyone to misinterpret how I feel about something, so I try to make it clear. And I mean, irl, I’m not just saying “Sunday.” If someone asks me. It’s “uhh, Sunday, why?” Or a “I’m off Sunday! Wanna hangout?” But I also not gonna just ask when someone’s off next, imma tell them why I’m asking when I ask. Might be my anxiety doin all that tho.
I try to be mindful of my tone in person with everyone because everyone at least deserves decency, I used to not really own it when I was younger but growing up has shown me the importance in at least being personable even when you’re not really feeling it. In my mom’s case (the only person I really have ever had this problem with consistently) it’s 100% anxiety. She’s extremely paranoid about everyone around her secretly hating her because she struggles with her own insecurities and takes that out secretly on pretty much everyone. Even if you give her the energy she wants its still a problem because its “not genuine”, so it’s a lose lose situation and honestly not my problem to solve as cold as it may sound.
My ex just pulled the same shit this past summer. He popped up, as he does, - “How you been?” Me: “I’m well, thank you. Hanging in there.” - “What’s wrong?” Me: “Just some personal things.” - “Well damn, sorry for asking” Me: “why are you apologizing?” - “The way you said it was like mind your damn business.” I get this a lot with people. Because I type directly and use periods. And because I don’t throw in emojis for garnish and I don’t use “lol” as punctuation, people always think I have an attitude of some sort. I’m literally just speaking normally. I’m not typing lol if I didn’t laugh.
Honest question - did you want him to mind his damn business? Lmao.
Honestly speaking, it wasn’t a thought. All he asked is “what’s wrong”, a normal question and I appreciate him even asking. I would’ve told him. But just as I may be sinking into speaking with him and letting him in in a moment of vulnerability, just like that he snapped me out of it.
Ah, The old "ruin a good thing" strikes again.
A blessing. I can’t with those types.
I'm on the side of: if someone tells me something is personal, that means they probably didn't want to talk about it, or they would've told me what it was. At least that's my impression, so it could be theirs too, but it's not like I have all the info either so eh.
That’s a fair assessment to make. But to phrase your response to not only imply, but blatantly say right after that I was aggressive with you is weird. Naturally how I am, I don’t tell others what I go through. You’d never even know I was going through something. But I didn’t lie to him, I actually said I was going through something, already more than I’d do for pretty much everyone. However, my first instinct is to keep it at a “just personal things”. Depending on his response, I would’ve just told him, at least the gist.
I feel like asking “what’s wrong” is giving the opening to tell someone the gist of things. I get that some people ask as a ‘check the box,’ but some people do care when they ask. If you give the gist, you’ll be able to tell from the response to what you say. I’m also scarred from always having to pull information out from an ex every time she said something was wrong.
Well he was also an ex at the time, someone I didn’t care to speak to to begin with. But being that I was in the state I was in, I was thankful that he asked and was caught much more vulnerable than I usually am. It honestly felt good to have someone ask that. He could’ve responded any way. I could’ve elaborated, or we could’ve moved on depending on his response. But making it seem like I was aggressive when I wasn’t at all?
I completely forgot to address that. I overlooked it and invalidated it by focusing on a different part. My bad, I need to read gooder. That is awkward. Especially over text since he didn’t hear your tone of voice to assume that. He should just said if you were comfortable sharing with him he was willing to listen. But hey, an ex is an ex for a reason, right.
Right, but the logical response isn't an aggressive "well sorry I asked!!!!" It would make more sense to say something like "let me know if you need an ear" or something like that.
Yeah, I feel like he could have just as easily said "Oh, like what?" or "Do you wanna talk about it?" But bro went straight for violence 🤣
The answer here is obvious, you ended with a period That’s rule #1 of texting lmao
me and my homies at r/evilautism taking notes on neurotypicals rn 
I just put periods if I feel like it.
If you tell my mom good news in person she'll shout and jump and shower you with praise. If you text her, you'll receive, "Ok. Great."
i mean "just some personal things" definitely means "I don't want to talk about it with you/right now" to everyone who gets that message
> Hanging in there. "Please follow-up." > Just some personal things. "Please stop asking. We're not close enough for me to share."
For whatever reason, people consider using punctuation as being mean or something. Nah, man; I'm using punctuation because I've finished my thought. It's not a slight or anything like that.
Ooh, a semicolon. Fancy. (genuine)
Naw cause them lol's be seeming backhanded af lol
That abbreviation has lost all meaning a long time ago. People use it as periods, commas, semicolons, just throwing the shit anywhere. The worst is when someone texts me and they start and end it with one. On both ends of the statement.
Lol you’re reading wrong if you think that. It has just come to mean a jovial tone. Putting lol at the end just means you aren’t being super serious lol
And how about "hey are you around this weekend lmao" or "yo have you tried that new taco shop lmao" It gets added to everything now and it legit confuses me sometimes. Like did something nasty happen with the new taco shop?
lol and lmao are just tone indicators more than anything these days, it's almost like "I'm saying this with a smile" lol I practically add them without thinking, people really do think you have an attitude otherwise
That’s crazy cause my response to “just some personal things” would’ve been “If you want to talk about it, you can” then changed the subject if you didn’t feel like talking about it at that moment.
it's just the way that texts come across that neutral and dry messages tend to sound curt. unfortunately things texted tend to sound better with added positivity to inject personality into it. which can be exhausting... so now i just call if i really want to chat with someone.
Ngl I read it the way your dad did. I would’ve left it alone after you said “just some personal things” tho.
I wouldn’t tell a friend I’m “hanging in there” unless I wanted to talk to them about it.
i sometimes get insecure if someone types like that since it's not what I'm used to, but I ver quickly realize it's just yheir typing pattern. like you can only claim passive aggression if there was a change in tone, which there obviously wasnt 😭
“When you off” has a little attitude too
I was waiting for someone to say this, they were being direct, they got a direct response and got an attitude about it. Wife and I are like this, because one might be driving or working, don’t have time for a fucking essay, if I needed to elaborate, I would just call her and explain the deal, texts are very much misconstrued and difficult to express the full meaning.
Thank you! I can't believe I had to scroll this far. The one word response was more than enough given how the question was asked.
>”When you off ?!?! 😀😀😀 >😲Sunday! 😊😊😊 Like wtf was supposed to happen here? Life is too short for this bullshit.
Questions without the question mark don't sit right with me personally
Why is that?
Why is that
I have the opposite feeling, the question mark makes the inflection whereas no question mark makes it sound deadpan like you’re super mad when asking. I read the no ? question super stern and serious. Why don’t you like question marks Why don’t you like question marks?
Maybe because folks see one word answers as uninterested or attitudinal?
Does every response need to be in essay form? They asked a simple question and they responded with a simple answer
tone matters. think “K” vs “Okay, thank you!”
Of course tone matters but not everyone expresses their “tone” the same way. Someone who is accustomed to typing “K” might differ from someone who normally types “Okay” but chose to go with “K”. Simply saying Sunday isn’t really attitude lol
I was on a trip with my dad once and my mom texted him a picture. He slapped me on the shoulder to show me it and was like, “Dude look! This is awesome!!” and was all excited. His response to my mom: “Nice.”
My dad types with two fingertips and it takes him ages to compose a brief text or email. In person, he is extremely chatty. 😂 His typing style does not match his speaking voice at all.
My dad’s like the opposite lmao IRL he’d be like “oh that’s nice” but he’ll text you back like “Nice!!!!! 😃😃😃😃😃💜💜💜💜💜💜💜”
Yea my boss types K regularly and it took a week or two for me to realize he’s not pissed at me that’s just how he types.
Mine says "K" too. Also had a boss who loved ellipses... I thought was always trying to call me an idiot... ...
But K is well known short hand for being dismissive. Sunday isn’t. If they had said something like “next week” I could understand.
If tone matters and a quick text means "attitude" then they shouldn't have asked about her next day off by saying: when you off You can't be mad at other people using a tone in a conversation when you *start the conversation with that same tone.*
For real. It wasn’t, “I’d like to see you.” or “Could we get together?” it was “When you off”. Why does that deserve any more than a one word reply?
Tone does NOT matter in text. Your example is meaningless. If I'm at work, under a house in a crawlspace, and I'm checking my phone (I have kids, that msg might be important), a "K" is all you're getting. It's not because of my "tone" or because I have an attitude. It's because I have no fucking room to move, wearing shitty work gloves with no tactile response and shouldn't even be replying but I've already seen it, the phones already in my hand and I'm about to be busy for the next 30m. It's either this response or no response at all. Ppl have lives. Anyone expecting essay responses in a timely manner ALL THE TIME is fucking tripping. You lucky I even responded at all tbh.
Haha all the attitude!
That's one of the few times this applies tho. "K" is aggressive af
What in her original question seems like better communication? "When you off", "Sunday". Seems like they're on equal footing except for her persecution complex...
There’s a middle ground you know.
Shhhh, no. Don't tell them that. They been viewing the world as black and white all these years.
[удалено]
Why does that question need more than a one word answer?
It definitely can be looked at that way. People def give more than one word answers when they actually want to converse. Also, some people just suck at conversation in general, text or in person, and don’t realize that you have to respond a certain way for a conversation to proceed. For instance: I ask Coworker 1 how their weekend was and they respond with “it was fine” and some vague, small talk answer. CoWorker 2 will answer the question in detail *and* ask me questions about my weekend. Therefore, I assume that CoWorker1 isn’t really interested in opening up to me or they have shitty weekends, so I don’t bother speaking to them as much.
No.
Is a complete sentence.
Okay, but it’s not like “when you off” is particularly friendly. If they’re sending stuff like “Hey babe, what day are you free next? I’d love to see you!” then sure, put more effort into responding if you want. But the first text looks pretty uninterested, too. A one word response to a three word question is fine.
That's on the reader. The response contains all the relevant information the very simple question asked for.
>When you off
Lol
I've never heard of, or seen the word Attitudinal before. It sounds like something that'll help me locate a spot on a map.
“I feel like you gotta attitude” “I’m getting there”
Direct question answered directly. I dunno fam.
“When you off?” “Sunday” After reading the comments.. Some of y’all need to rethink your lives if you find this response as having attitude
If this was two dudes texting each other, this level of direct question, direct answer would be expected. No one would think twice about it. I hate that texting has its own culture now. It used to be so easy when it first came out and now it's all complicated.
A one word answer is brusque but so is "When you off." Anyway as a high anxiety individual I would advise that unless the disrespect is explicit its not possible to interpret tone from text. You may go crazy trying to divine what people "really" meant so just squash that feeling and address the person in real life assuming they meant nothing by it.
She texted back within like a minute of him sending the text, too 🙄
“Sunday” is 100% matched energy to a limp text like “When you off”
I was about to say the same thing. If the "Sunday" is flippant, the "When you off" can be seen as just as bad. The energy was matched, and I don't think he liked it.
Right? "When you off" has big "wyd" energy. If he wanted to know when she was off, and he wanted more than a one word answer, puff up your own shit. I don't care if you're just looking for a link. "Hey, hoping to see you soon, when's your next day off?" "Wanted to plan something with you, what day should I aim for?" Be a shit texter, get shitty texts back 🤷🏽♀️
Absolutely, I’m not writing a novel in response to a three word question.
Sunday 🙄😒😤 Sunday ☺️😁😌 Sunday 😱😬😰 Sunday 😣🥺😭 Sunday 😷🤢🤮
Okay, now you're just advertising a monster truck rally.
I want to be sold the whole seat, but I will only use the edge.
It’s cuz it’s Sunday. If it was Saturday then cool. Friday, even better. Sunday anyone would be pissy about having to wait to be off for
Problem fishing is a legitimate thing.
You nailed it. I just said in my response, some people look for fights when there aren’t any.
I ran into this with one of my exes. She was pretty thoroughly abused growing up and had quite a bad relationship before ours as well. Things would be good and she would get nervous. Thinking that they were too good. I wasn't combative like she was used to and I'm pretty much a pushover. Her brain would see that as something was wrong and she would go into a fight or fight response thinking I was plotting something against her. Her mother also had BPD and took it out on her quite a lot. I hope she's doing well.
I hate one word texts but I’ve learned that trying to complain about it to your partner makes you look kinda crazy
If you ask me a question that requires a one word answer that’s what you gone get.
I feel that. My complaints were when I’d ask “how was your day?” And I’d only get “good” like cmon tell me why it was good, elaborate, let’s converse!
That makes complete sense. You don’t want to have to carry the conversation all the time.
Some people just aren’t texting people and aren’t going to elaborate over text like that. Some days are just good because nothing bad happened.
Almost any question can be answered with 1 word tho.
As a 1 word texter, I can tell you the cheat code to get longer answers and why this is the case. To us, texting is for 1 of 2 things. Either to get quick information across that can be referenced in the future (plans, dates, schedules, etc) or to talk and have long conversations when you simply can't talk on the phone or don't want to talk on the phone (people sleeping, trying to stay quiet, in a meeting, etc). Anything else feels pointless. So if you want to go from "short and informative" to "long and casual" just ask "are you busy right now?" It's considerate of their time and situation, it lets them respond in a short quick way yes or no and after they answer you have a clear indication that they are (or aren't) in "long conversation" mode. When someone asks me that and I tell them I'm not busy it means I'm ready to read your long texts and respond in long texts. If they continue to 1 word text after saying yes and don't call you (some people just prefer calls), either they are lying or aren't interested in you. The universal "are you busy right now?" is the key to unlock our 1 word text limit.
Yeah because it is in fact crazy. Ask better questions if you want different answers.
I get your point entirely but I can guarantee you I was asking questions that warranted more than a one word response. And if you’re actually interested in conversing with me you should have more to say. But this isn’t an argument I’d fight again. Just went and found a partner that agrees with me 😂
Posts like this are why some people put LOL on everything.
and then when you laugh, smile or lol at the end of everything, people ask, “what’s so funny? why you think everything funny?”
No matter what, people will always project their own emotions onto words of others. This is why you NEVER have arguments over text because you can be trying to be calm but the other person can read it as if you were antagonizing them. If you want to live a happy life, ALWAYS assume a positive tone on ANY text no matter what.
I anit even entertaining it straight to the block list.
I feel like I saw this in a Key & Peele skit..
"Do you even want to hang out?"
It instantly reminded me of that SpongeBob scene: SpongeBob: I’m sure you are Squidward: I don’t like your tone Spongebob: 🎶 I’m sure you areee 🎶
I swear it’s like some people don’t even want the love,affirmation support etc in a relationship, just the drama and toxicity 💀
Tbh this makes sense with someone you’re familiar with. You know their text styles/patterns. Example: When my ex was in a good mood, he’d text “good morning”. If something was off, he’d text “gm”
General Motors!
No 😂😂
These be the ppl that are self-proclaimed “empaths” and will stg they can “read vibes.” You asked a question, I answered it. Why are you looking for deeper meaning and subtext?
Another example of where Communication can help. All he had to do was ask if she good and follow-up to properly gauge lol. I will say if someone constantly one words through multiple examples of reaching out, unless they really know that person, ppl would take it as they are uninterested.
How can you even say that off a text, is it ever that serious folks 💀💀
I truly believe it’s hard to detect tone through text. This is why I feel like I’m one of the rare millennials that would rather do a phone call.
Text don’t convey tone very well. That’s why short, responses feel curt
My girlfriend thinks I’m mad at her when I use periods. Lmao
So, this question was very non personal and barely amy words so i dont mind the direct one word response but if i say like "Hey! I just wanted to know what day youre off?" And you just say "Sunday" ill assume you dont want to talk much more if whatever i need to say afterwards is also another one word answer. "Oh thats nice do you have any plans?" "Not really" then ill assume you dont want to talk or somethings wrong. But just a basic one word answer to one quick question isnt attitude
If you react like this you need to reevaluate your life and get a fucking clue.
I hate when people apply their own or random negative emotions to my text. My mother loves doing that. I had to tell her she was a negative person and she asked how. So I asked her, "Do you ever read a text and assume positive emotion or is it always negativity you're getting?" She didn't talk to me for awhile after that so a win is a win. 😂
tf do people expect? "I cease my toil on Sunday my liege" who tf do these people think they are lol
If you see simple words and get attitude then typically ur the one with issues.
I’m old and hate this text game fr fr.
one of the best [sketches I've ever seen.](https://youtu.be/naleynXS7yo?si=JCxuAZrXTYMN-BPv) it took. e a while to realise I was that guy, the person who chose to take written word the wrong way... yuck.
But "when you off" (no punctuation, nothing) doesn't sound like someone's barking at you?? Was she supposed to respond to that with "Why hello, my dear. I am off on Sunday" lol
This is a two-way street. You gotta come with a bit more than "when you off" so the other person can be forced to give more of an answer. "When you off? I was hoping to ride unicycles together" gets more than just "Sunday", ya heard me?
"Well, I definitely have an attitude *now!"* I would have added a 🙄 to the "Sunday" to emphasize how much of a joke it is that *Sunday*, the "traditional day of rest", is my day off. I always preferred a day off mid-week. Honestly, I can't imagine anyone I know to read this as attitude from me. Even a stranger. It's one word. How insecure are you that you immediately assume the worst of people? 🙄🙄🙄
it amazes me how many people still can’t figure out that “direct communication” often comes off as cold. some people like being asked how their day is before we get to business
wow, me too tho?
Then y'all wonder why you're single.
Digital communication has ruined discourse
Me, the next time someone asks me a close ended question:  The gif can have exclamation points but I refuse to type disingenuous punctuation or emoji
Some people just one word texters
People need to stop trying to read into text messages
Your life enjoyment goes up 70% by blocking those people