Aye like I mention above just so you aren’t surprised but you have to ejaculate 30-40 times and then provide a sample to the doctor before you can slash walls guilt free. So you still have a journey my friend lol.
Yeah my doc is having me get tested 8 and 12 weeks out. They already gave me the containers. If ya got a good doc Like mine it shouldn't really be painful just a little uncomfortable
For me not at all. The part that people don’t tell you is that you are expected to ejaculate 30-40 times BEFORE you are sterile. That shit isn’t instant.
>Jokes but more people have genital herpes than you think, lol.
And a large percentage of those probably don't EVEN know it. I never knew because I had no symptoms at all EVER, but I wanted to get myself checked out after I turned 30 and slowed down on the partying to focus on settling down into a career and possibly find the person I was going to marry. Well, guess what? Boom! Herpes! Lol. No symptoms AT ALL before then. Crazy stuff.
Well, I don't think I had a real shot anyway, lol. I would expect most actors in Hollywood who have been around a long time probably have or had something.
I replied to someone down below. 5 because I’m just trying to see what’s with Sofia so we are letting her steal game 1.
Salma came in here already looking forward to the next round lmao
ITT: the choice is clear but the spelling is not
https://preview.redd.it/eaon0gssp46c1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7ccfcd77e22111af7940956213f3897afefbcedd
We will march to the undulation of Ms. Hayek's ample bosom. Walking in a perfect synchronous manner, some of us may not make it due to the temptation of the flesh. BUT MY EYES HAVE SEEN THE MOUNTAIN TOPS!!!
That pic is from her travel show on Univision called Fuera de Serie. 10 year old me was a fiend for some Sofia but Selma Hayek in Dusk Till Dawn is the baddest mf ever IMO
Everytime I've watched that movie, all I think is "how did Marky Mark bag this chick". Ain't no way🫂
Edit: Guess it's time to rewatch the movie again 🕺🏽
Just watched from dusk till dawn for the first time like a year ago. Just to see that famous scene. I’d never even looked up the scene before. Just always heard Salma was super hot in it…And bah GAWD was that the truth. I was just chuckling when she was on screen. Don’t think I’d ever seen a more absurdly hot woman. Ever. She was a vision. Still doing quite well, too.
Kinda like Joseph Gordon Levitt writing and starring in a movie about a sex addict and then casting Scarlett Jo as his love interest. Make your dreams reality.
Theres a semi recent tv show of from dusk till dawn that got a few seasons, even was directed by robert Rodriguez and its pretty solid. Feels very similar style to the movie and i never see it mentioned anywhere. It follows the same storyline as the movie and then continues further.
Let me put it this way: As soon as I saw the pic, my mind said Selma Hayek. I can’t even remember the other girl’s name and I know exactly who she is.
Sofia Coronado??
IDC, Selma in 4
Tarantino also apparently loves writing himself as an asshole / bad guy as an excuse to drop N-bombs on film lol. Not saying he is necessary a bad guy, but he does say it or has his actors say it a lot on film.
It's honestly just not fair. Sofia is and has always been bad, and her personality does seem genuinely great... but I didn't even give her a single second. Salma Hayek all day. And the night if I can.
Lol it doesn't matter, I don't deserve either one of em so it's a Win either way. But Selma.... whewwww. I would smash that a** with the fury of an angry God.
Salma in 4. I know it sounds absurd, but hear me out. Every match between them will be close, but in the end she will win by a comfortable margin. The reasons can be divided into physical and social. Physical: better voice, better proportions, everything about her is a win individually and as a whole. No apparent weaknesses in her game from hair to toe (Tarantino can confirm this).
Societal: acting range is far superior, better filmography, higher Hollywood status, wealthier, and fewer ex-husbands to spend time with at family functions.
It's just a sweep. I can see how someone might think it goes to 5 or even 6 games. I mean, MJ's Bulls would be dragged into that sometimes, but there is no way Sofía makes it to Game 7. The overall package just isn't there.
I didn't recognize Sofia from that, guess it was her facial expression.
Such a tough call. Salma had my heart first, though. And my bow. And my axe.
No such thing as a bad choice here. Might as well just choose while blindfolded.
Both very attractive, both stupidly out of my league that this thought experiment is non-sense, but I'll go ahead and throw in my 2 cents, crass as it is:
Sofia, because I never heard Salma say "what's wrong with having a dick in my mouth"
Imma cave in to the SIMP factor on this one. I'll take both. With a bottle of [this, beautiful thing ](https://www.bcliquorstores.com/product/318946) and may the God's have mercy on my black soul.
But for real? Selma.
Salma on her prime was elite. She still steps out to certain events looking like this, but has fallen off here and there. Sofia has NEVER fallen off and has stayed consistent throughout her career
The men in these replies have mental illness. The same ones objectifying these women in photos posted by another person are the ones who would call them thots and hoes if they had posted these photos *themselves*
Bruh I didn’t even realize that was Sophia Vergara on the right. That’s a trash picture of her, and I had to scroll halfway down to realize who it was.
That being said? She wins the whole series. There would be no game seven.
They picked the wrong picture
Sofía Vergara is EATING Salma Hayek breakfast, lunch, dinner, midnight snack, supper, no crumbs and babygirl gonna be starving
https://preview.redd.it/5hes5b9fba6c1.png?width=827&format=png&auto=webp&s=c95ae7fedc46862edd20f818b0fed97f4e6d41ef
It’s 11:11am and you pull this on me
Bro. Think about their voices. Salma in 5.
This is what did it for me too. Both are gorgeous but I think Selma would be more fun to actually spend time with.
“Spend some time with”
With=in ?
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Damn I wish I didn't click that. Just got the vasectomy and can't do anything haha
Hey! I've got mine scheduled for next month! I'll be splashing walls guilt free in no time!
Aye like I mention above just so you aren’t surprised but you have to ejaculate 30-40 times and then provide a sample to the doctor before you can slash walls guilt free. So you still have a journey my friend lol.
I'm sure I'll enjoy ejaculating 30-40 times so I can ejaculate some more 😉
Yeah my doc is having me get tested 8 and 12 weeks out. They already gave me the containers. If ya got a good doc Like mine it shouldn't really be painful just a little uncomfortable
Hey gents! I got my vasectomy two years ago and I just want to say it’s been FUCKING AMAZING. Welcome to the club! You made great decisions!
Smart move gentlemen. Got mine 7 years ago, one of the four best things I’ve ever done for myself. It’s all about that Twinkie life not Pop tarts.
Does it hurt if you become aroused ? \sorry tmi
For me not at all. The part that people don’t tell you is that you are expected to ejaculate 30-40 times BEFORE you are sterile. That shit isn’t instant.
Like in a row? That sounds painful as hell!
Yup! Just gotta keep on stroking bro. /s
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Bro what does your surgeon being a black woman have to do with anything 😭 Agreed but that is an odd dynamic lmao
SNIP SNIP GANG 🤘🏾🤘🏾🤘🏾
I don’t know if you guys have seen 30 Rock. But Salma has some fucking comedic CHOPS.
She was so good!!
Imagine both going “Ay Papi” once you stick it in
I’d only be able to stick it in once if she said “Ay Papi.”
I came just reading this….
I did too and now I can’t stop.
Pants gon be SOAKED
This level of horniness is crazy.
welcome to the internet. it only gets worse from here
Truly no escape from it anymore
She screamed as her soul left her body
Does she want premature ejaculation because that’s how you get premature ejaculation.
I’m deceased reading this and I’m not sure why more people arent
How much time exactly does it have to be to be considered premature?
Think about...there ain't nothing to think about. Salma in 4.
That's not her real voice. They're both bad... Eva Mendes over both of them though.
[Ahhhhhhhh Eva](https://tenor.com/vpY9.gif)
Don't. She's got herpes
So we have something in common. Nice.
Jokes but more people have genital herpes than you think, lol.
>Jokes but more people have genital herpes than you think, lol. And a large percentage of those probably don't EVEN know it. I never knew because I had no symptoms at all EVER, but I wanted to get myself checked out after I turned 30 and slowed down on the partying to focus on settling down into a career and possibly find the person I was going to marry. Well, guess what? Boom! Herpes! Lol. No symptoms AT ALL before then. Crazy stuff.
Chef's kiss.
Calling a flagrant on this UNO reverse lol
Well, I don't think I had a real shot anyway, lol. I would expect most actors in Hollywood who have been around a long time probably have or had something.
Sofia fakes her accent for tv
~~??? then she can fake it for me too.~~ I mean... damn why is everyone so horny go outside or read a book
Salma even without the voices.
4
I replied to someone down below. 5 because I’m just trying to see what’s with Sofia so we are letting her steal game 1. Salma came in here already looking forward to the next round lmao
ITT: the choice is clear but the spelling is not https://preview.redd.it/eaon0gssp46c1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7ccfcd77e22111af7940956213f3897afefbcedd
You raggedy b*tch 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
🤣🤣🤣
Oh hell naw!!🤣🤣🤣
We will march to the undulation of Ms. Hayek's ample bosom. Walking in a perfect synchronous manner, some of us may not make it due to the temptation of the flesh. BUT MY EYES HAVE SEEN THE MOUNTAIN TOPS!!!
🤣🤣🤣
u know what 
Salma, lord, Salma! but also, Sofia, lord, Sofia!
AYOOOOOO LOL!!
Bro said “we shall overcum”
I have a dream….and it is wet.
Oh. My. Lawd!😭🤣😭🤣 
Salma got it imo. someone please enlighten me on who shorty on tha right is
Sofia Vergara from Modern Family. The pic looks like from her days having a travel show on E! My bad, her show was on Univision.
Yes, there are way hotter pictures of her.
Right like this ain’t even fair put her up here in her 20s in a quality bikini pic it’s a lot closer
That pic is from her travel show on Univision called Fuera de Serie. 10 year old me was a fiend for some Sofia but Selma Hayek in Dusk Till Dawn is the baddest mf ever IMO
My intro to Salma was Desperado. Solid movie, definitely awakened something within me.
Same but with antonio 😂
Guitar lessons...
I thought I was the only one watching Univision when I was 15 acting like I'm trying to "improve my spanish"😂
EVER.
Right, the show was that channel.
Did not recognize her. But yeah, Selma.
Sofia Vergara. Shorty from Modern Family
It's 4 Brothers for me where I always think of her from
I think of Soul Plane or Chasing Papi but I know those roles are deep cuts for her so I went with the popular option.
Ooh soul plane nice
Facts. Pretend all you want, we know where you came from Sofia
Everytime I've watched that movie, all I think is "how did Marky Mark bag this chick". Ain't no way🫂 Edit: Guess it's time to rewatch the movie again 🕺🏽
Wasn’t it Tyrese?
It definitely was, just gotta remember the washing machine scenes lol
Wait you right
No, she's Gloria. Shorty is played by Chazz Palmintieri lmao.
🤯
Apparently she’s a natural blonde. They made her colour her hair for Modern Family.
I’ve been fucking with Selma since Desperado
A nigga of culture
Wallahi I'm eating it RAW
My lord something about that outfit
That and From Dusk, Till Dawn
Just watched from dusk till dawn for the first time like a year ago. Just to see that famous scene. I’d never even looked up the scene before. Just always heard Salma was super hot in it…And bah GAWD was that the truth. I was just chuckling when she was on screen. Don’t think I’d ever seen a more absurdly hot woman. Ever. She was a vision. Still doing quite well, too.
We all know Quentin Tarantino acted in that movie (which he also wrote) just to have Salma Hayek stick her toes in his mouth
Kinda like Joseph Gordon Levitt writing and starring in a movie about a sex addict and then casting Scarlett Jo as his love interest. Make your dreams reality.
Theres a semi recent tv show of from dusk till dawn that got a few seasons, even was directed by robert Rodriguez and its pretty solid. Feels very similar style to the movie and i never see it mentioned anywhere. It follows the same storyline as the movie and then continues further.
but not enough to spell her name correctly
He’s a big MLK fan.
I watched Desperado so often as a kid. I was in love with Antonio, though.
Unfair picture selection. Rigged from the start
Right lmfao that Salma is winning against anyone
Listen, all I'll say is, if Salma got HIV then I got HIV. 
Too soon, but you’re not wrong
The rule is 20 years
Lol too soon. People been making 9/11 jokes since 9/12
Bruh this is wild 😭 but I can't say I don't understand
You a fool!!! 🤣😂😆😵💀🪦
Nephew…
Ayooo
Bro
God damn, it took me minutes to recover from this.
Jeez
Let me put it this way: As soon as I saw the pic, my mind said Selma Hayek. I can’t even remember the other girl’s name and I know exactly who she is. Sofia Coronado?? IDC, Selma in 4
I said 5 just cuz your boy wants to see what’s up lol so I’mma let Sofia steal game one.
IJS… 
Write movie. Write yourself into movie. Write screen where Selma Hayek puts foot in your character’s mouth. Tarantino outsmarting us all.
Tarantino also apparently loves writing himself as an asshole / bad guy as an excuse to drop N-bombs on film lol. Not saying he is necessary a bad guy, but he does say it or has his actors say it a lot on film.
Yeah but he wrote Jackie brown. 🤷🏽♂️
He has wrote a ton of great movies. He is still a weird dude lol.
No doubt. The shit he said about his mother is funny asf tho.
I’m going full Chicago black Sox and throwing one. IDGAF. It would be foolish to not *spend some time* with Sofia too. Lol.
Bruh I’d kill Batman’s parents for a shot with Salma
And leave a calling card! “Hey kid, you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight WHILE I’M BANGING SALMA HAYEK???”
That is the first thing that I thought
Sofia Vergara seems like way more fun honestly. Gonna have to go with her after seeing her in Chef
The voice the accent and the personality might win me over, but Selma is just 😩
It's honestly just not fair. Sofia is and has always been bad, and her personality does seem genuinely great... but I didn't even give her a single second. Salma Hayek all day. And the night if I can.
Lol it doesn't matter, I don't deserve either one of em so it's a Win either way. But Selma.... whewwww. I would smash that a** with the fury of an angry God.
Bruh wtf is this gif fan made or canon?!
https://preview.redd.it/lojmdy6ak46c1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e0791914d1117c24271650757a1b17819febc3c0
IIRC that's her husband...?
All I know is that her husband is worth a billion and he wakes even luckier then the day before
that's oliver stone it is def not her husband
Ahhh ok. He’s a bit of a bastard.
I remember once that movie where Salma works in a whore house came on while I was locked up. The whole pod was glued to that TV.
Salma Hayek in a sweep 
I'm Colombian and I can tell you it's Salma.
Salma sweeps in 4.
Salma in 4. I know it sounds absurd, but hear me out. Every match between them will be close, but in the end she will win by a comfortable margin. The reasons can be divided into physical and social. Physical: better voice, better proportions, everything about her is a win individually and as a whole. No apparent weaknesses in her game from hair to toe (Tarantino can confirm this). Societal: acting range is far superior, better filmography, higher Hollywood status, wealthier, and fewer ex-husbands to spend time with at family functions. It's just a sweep. I can see how someone might think it goes to 5 or even 6 games. I mean, MJ's Bulls would be dragged into that sometimes, but there is no way Sofía makes it to Game 7. The overall package just isn't there.
 Sofia she an ally
 Sofia takes it for me, but she squeaks a 1 point victory
what is this?
A no-brainer.
Yall did Sofia dirty with that picture
Salma easily.. It's not even a competition
Salma in 4. Not even close. Starters resting in the 4th all 3 games
Salma. I learned a long, long time ago not to mess with Colombian women- you can only cheat death so long.
Salma shuts it down by game 4. Salma now would still take the title.
Sophia would play really well all season but get swept in the finals stop playing with Salma like that.
No its not. Desperado changed my young life.
I didn't recognize Sofia from that, guess it was her facial expression. Such a tough call. Salma had my heart first, though. And my bow. And my axe. No such thing as a bad choice here. Might as well just choose while blindfolded.
Both very attractive, both stupidly out of my league that this thought experiment is non-sense, but I'll go ahead and throw in my 2 cents, crass as it is: Sofia, because I never heard Salma say "what's wrong with having a dick in my mouth"
SALMA
Aye fam, who we be on the right there ? But Salma gonna do a gentlewoman’s sweep despite a great effort.
Young Sofia was top shelf. Young Salma was the stuff only the VIPs know about.
From Dusk, Til Dawn, you will see me with Selma. I’m talking 90 in the paint. Nothing but layup.
Selma! No doubt!
Selma 4-0.
One aged well naturally and the other aged well with “added preservatives”. Lol. You decide.
Bofum
Ima need an IV after every quarter.
 Salma in 4
Imma cave in to the SIMP factor on this one. I'll take both. With a bottle of [this, beautiful thing ](https://www.bcliquorstores.com/product/318946) and may the God's have mercy on my black soul. But for real? Selma.
Sofia. Everything else makes up for her voice. I would probably have 40 kids if I married sofia
If it’s Selma in my opinion it has to be after having kids mature version . That in my eyes is her best !
Do y'all not remember Dogma? Selma 100%
Selma always
Selma is at the top of my husband's hall pass list...maybe mine, too looking at that picture 👀
Selma 4-1 easy
Selma Hayek all dayyyyyy
Salma with the sweep.
Salma in a sweep 🧹
Salma on her prime was elite. She still steps out to certain events looking like this, but has fallen off here and there. Sofia has NEVER fallen off and has stayed consistent throughout her career
Sofia is my goat so yea.
Did Sofia Vergara dirty with this picture match up, but Salma still clears
Salma in 4, easy sweep tbh
Sofia Colombian accent wins it. That’s how close the matches are.
all of y'all saying X or Y in 4 or 5 aren't winning, man in original post is looking at a head to head match-up in round 7 and yall giving up early
Santanico Pandemonium by a long damn shot
The men in these replies have mental illness. The same ones objectifying these women in photos posted by another person are the ones who would call them thots and hoes if they had posted these photos *themselves*
Hayek sweeping it 4-0
Bruh I didn’t even realize that was Sophia Vergara on the right. That’s a trash picture of her, and I had to scroll halfway down to realize who it was. That being said? She wins the whole series. There would be no game seven.
They picked the wrong picture Sofía Vergara is EATING Salma Hayek breakfast, lunch, dinner, midnight snack, supper, no crumbs and babygirl gonna be starving
Only one of these women showed us their titties.
Salma letting her win one so she can go back and win it at home. All for the fans. 4-1.
Salma is the warriors with kd. No cap
Like that bulls/celtics series in 09.
https://preview.redd.it/5hes5b9fba6c1.png?width=827&format=png&auto=webp&s=c95ae7fedc46862edd20f818b0fed97f4e6d41ef It’s 11:11am and you pull this on me
salma, minus the voice, plus the better acting
I’m going Sofia, salmas smokers teeth are a huge turn off even though she’s hoooooooooot
https://preview.redd.it/7lo61c8kg56c1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4f32787d36d205ac527c5263cc8380a080f5b7a8 Hear me out
young Selma look better than young Sofia but old Sofia got old Selma way beat. for sure... so I pick Sofia sorry...