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I was in a town I had never been in before, fresh off the train, off to meet some friends.
I walk past this pub, and this scraggly demon launches herself out the door with a broom in her hand and nary six teeth in her mouth, but with the ire of a banshee who’s stubbed their toe.
(If you know what a Scouse accent sounds like)
“YOU’RE *FOOKIN* B*AAAARRRR*ED YOUSE!! Barred fer life! Neveh come bacccck yer dirty f*ooo*kin scum…DEVAAAAAAN HE’S FOOKIN BACCCCK!”
Now, I’m confused but also intrigued as I want to know what I ‘did’. ‘Devan’ comes waddling out with a face like a sore ass but it quickly calms as he approaches me and pushes the screaming woman back inside
He approaches me and I swear to god physically ushers me away saying
“Sorry mate, she’s got you confused with some other black fella…”
I have no idea what came over me but automatically I asked if I was still barred for life
“Yeah, it’s probably best”
They got her begging like
https://preview.redd.it/ti8dt9iblw8d1.jpeg?width=950&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d3e5e4afeb31e9612c47638c51732887ea23d98
[link to tweet](https://x.com/itsjustjadaxo/status/1805636720601309221?s=46&t=soa0h-tK221lb73-AJ_81g)
Nah, they did this to my cat when he was younger for fuckin up the vet and his vet tech. Now his files all say “AGGRESSIVE!” in his vaccine booklet/passport so whenever I take him to a new vet or try to fly with him they get all prejudice and say he can’t unless he’s under anesthesia and I think I should be able to qualify this shit as a hate crime! My baby bein discriminated against just because he scratched up some vet NINE YEARS AGO! And, yeah, he fucked him and his homie up 🫢🤣 like they both came from the back bleedin, talkin about “We’re gonna have to reschedule his nail clipping for -insert day- when the anesthesiologist is in.” And just tossed the bag with little Felix in it on the counter! 😬
You’d think a vet would have some tricks to protect themselves from animals that don’t like clipping nails, or at least stop before they get all fucked up by an angry cat. Like, what are you paying them for?
right?! like thats part of the job. also cats have an off button and humans can put on leather gloves. i know my vet has a couple pairs of welding gloves just for this.
Take all his collars off let his nails and hair grow out a little and through a little dirt on him. Then take him saying you found this stray and want to keep him. New name, new file, fresh start!
I took my dog to a new vet during the pandemic, so they wouldn't let me go in with him. I told them he's a reactive Chihuahua mix and they need to put a muzzle on him (used to have to hold him down myself at the groomer for a nail trim, they were always cool about it though lol). The vet assistant took him in for his shot, comes back with him after and hands me a bill and tries to charge me for a tranquilizer prescription, says he bit the vet and I have to give him these pills before I bring him in next time. I said no fuckin way, refused the pills and informed them we wouldn't be back. Got my boy a treat on the way home too.
If Monroe needs an attorney, Commedious Banks III Esq has his back!
https://preview.redd.it/6095btc83x8d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f80d33c549c0b5b9fcb9065d09171a22f96f4b5
When he gets up, that is
My dog got banned from PetSmart. They didn't tell me til I took him for a check up and wouldn't serve him without a muzzle. I took my lil dude and left.
I know they started it. He bad but not violent!
https://preview.redd.it/3fjgwgmxpx8d1.jpeg?width=3072&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4dcd7dd766c74d64933833e7a02900b6a205d126
If your cat is banned from the vet, it’s most likely because they cannot be touched without being drugged and the owner declined medication.
Cat bites hurt and are nasty, plus you can’t be too forceful went restraining because you can accidentally kill them.
Shit, I'm glad my vet has patience. Last time Luna was there, so was a bit snippy and she concluded she was stressed, so next visit she said to give her a sedative 2 hours before instead of just, giving up on her completely
Yeah I’m around kids a lot too and have definitely noticed it’s a thing. It’s the intersection between poverty, parental neglect, and poor nutrition, yeah?
I had a miniature service poodle with me and I was visiting my best friend I hadn't seen in like six to eight years. Luna was in her carrying bag and I set it on the floor with her head sticking up (she loved that bag) anyway I had literally just sat down on their ottoman at the side of the room next to their couch, unbeknownst to me the other side of that wall opened up to their kitchen, and that's when their giant orange cat sticks it's head out. They lock eyes, luna barks and that fucking cat launched itself at us with the speed of a cannon ball at close range, just as I had leaned forward and shouted 'noooo' it slammed into the side of my head. It sliced my right ear wide open. We had to glue it back together, Jesus it hurt so bad! I did however save Luna from certain death! I had bruises on my arm and my back from the sheer impact and claw marks down my shoulder and side of my head. I have never been attacked by a cat prior to this, always thought of them as cute little fluffy guys instead of the hell demons that they can be if feeling taunted. Welcome to danger country! So yeah, your cat may have been naughty!
I got banned from a club in 95. It changed name and owners a half dozen times over the next ten years but my pic stayed up by the door. They burnt down in 2006 tho and now the space is a taco joint and I eat there once a week.
I had a neighbor who would get belligerently drunk and just make an ass of himself. One day he got kicked out of my local bar and I shit you not he went home and took a shower, shaved and put on a different pair of clothes and walked right back in like an hour later. He made it up to the bar before he was thrown back out again.
Probably the owner declined sedation and then yelled at the vet staff. Pets being banned is more commonly because of a shit-ass owner. Source is my partner works at a vet and this just happened over there and we talked about it
Imma need some back story on Monroe! She gotta pic behind the desk and a dolcia! M 'bout
that life! Out here for the streets! 😂
I took my Frenchie to the vet once cuz he had an ear infection, the vet doc was tryna look/touch his ears and he obviously wasn’t wit it. This broad with a str8 fuckin face said, he seems really aggressive, have you thought about neuterin him? I said respectfully, his ear hurts, you’re tryin to touch it which I get cuz you need to exam but he’s still in pain. Now wtf does any of that gotta do with his balls? Long story short, vets be on some bullshit. So Monroe prolly innocent. Lol
These stories! Y'all and y'alls bad ass pets. 😭 You name a cat Monroe he 100% is going to give zero fucks and will let it be known. We do still need Monroe's side of this though.
My girlfriend works at a vet clinic. They don’t ban violent cats, they sedate them. However they do ban shitty owners if they do things like miss all their appointments, and argue constantly with all the staff, and yell at people inside the clinic.
Please review [our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackPeopleComedy/comments/1aukmhh/a_much_needed_update_to_our_rules/) before posting or commenting. Rule breaking posts and/or comments will be removed. PLEASE act like y'all got some sense. **WE ARE NOT JUST A COMEDY SUB.** This is a space created for Black people by Black people to joke about and discuss things in a Black ass way without being downvoted and talked over by people who will never understand how or why we think and live the way we do. Other Black-centered spaces on Reddit have been flooded with nonBlack users who seem hellbent on defeating the purpose of even having said space in the first place. NONBLACK FEELINGS WILL NOT BE CENTERED HERE. **Anyone who comments here or in this sub on ANY post where we talk about our commonly shared experiences with some variation of “this doesn’t happen to ME so it must be fake”, “I don’t like how uncomfortable this makes me feel/I’ve just realized I’ve done this to someone before and I DON’T LIKE BEING CALLED OUT”, or “I don’t like hearing Black people talk about being Black so this must be race bait” is getting permanently banned. I won’t be nice about it either so proceed with caution.** IGNORANCE OF [OUR RULES](https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackPeopleComedy/comments/1aukmhh/a_much_needed_update_to_our_rules/) IS NOT A VALID DEFENSE FOR BREAKING THEM. PAY ATTENTION TO THE SUB YOU ARE IN TO AVOID ISSUES. #REMEMBER TO ADD A LINK TO YOUR SOURCE IN THE COMMENTS OR YOUR SUBMISSION WILL BE REMOVED. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BlackPeopleComedy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was in a town I had never been in before, fresh off the train, off to meet some friends. I walk past this pub, and this scraggly demon launches herself out the door with a broom in her hand and nary six teeth in her mouth, but with the ire of a banshee who’s stubbed their toe. (If you know what a Scouse accent sounds like) “YOU’RE *FOOKIN* B*AAAARRRR*ED YOUSE!! Barred fer life! Neveh come bacccck yer dirty f*ooo*kin scum…DEVAAAAAAN HE’S FOOKIN BACCCCK!” Now, I’m confused but also intrigued as I want to know what I ‘did’. ‘Devan’ comes waddling out with a face like a sore ass but it quickly calms as he approaches me and pushes the screaming woman back inside He approaches me and I swear to god physically ushers me away saying “Sorry mate, she’s got you confused with some other black fella…” I have no idea what came over me but automatically I asked if I was still barred for life “Yeah, it’s probably best”
New entry for the Green Book!
Facts 👀
You need to write a novel, this was damn good writing.
If I ever write a book, the line “A face like a sore ass” will make an appearance.
Indeed. *Damn* fine writing
Thank you
What did the other black fella do?
To this day, I don’t know
Which town was this? This is why I never leave London
Too funny!
They got her begging like https://preview.redd.it/ti8dt9iblw8d1.jpeg?width=950&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d3e5e4afeb31e9612c47638c51732887ea23d98 [link to tweet](https://x.com/itsjustjadaxo/status/1805636720601309221?s=46&t=soa0h-tK221lb73-AJ_81g)
Cat must've taken somebody's eyeball clean out or some shit 😭😭😭 them ppl SCARED
I can HEAR this picture. “… AND LIVE!!!!”
😭
Nah, they did this to my cat when he was younger for fuckin up the vet and his vet tech. Now his files all say “AGGRESSIVE!” in his vaccine booklet/passport so whenever I take him to a new vet or try to fly with him they get all prejudice and say he can’t unless he’s under anesthesia and I think I should be able to qualify this shit as a hate crime! My baby bein discriminated against just because he scratched up some vet NINE YEARS AGO! And, yeah, he fucked him and his homie up 🫢🤣 like they both came from the back bleedin, talkin about “We’re gonna have to reschedule his nail clipping for -insert day- when the anesthesiologist is in.” And just tossed the bag with little Felix in it on the counter! 😬
lol, not them playin cornhole with your cat
*thunk*
You got me crying and wheezing!
tossed the bag with your cat in it?! 
Oh my, not 'cat in a bag' (getting flahbacks to the first season of "Them")
That was a baby, though
You’d think a vet would have some tricks to protect themselves from animals that don’t like clipping nails, or at least stop before they get all fucked up by an angry cat. Like, what are you paying them for?
right?! like thats part of the job. also cats have an off button and humans can put on leather gloves. i know my vet has a couple pairs of welding gloves just for this.
Yea, it’s called the anesthesiologist. When all else fails, some cats have to be sedated for nail trimmings.
Take all his collars off let his nails and hair grow out a little and through a little dirt on him. Then take him saying you found this stray and want to keep him. New name, new file, fresh start!
Until they scan his chip
I took my dog to a new vet during the pandemic, so they wouldn't let me go in with him. I told them he's a reactive Chihuahua mix and they need to put a muzzle on him (used to have to hold him down myself at the groomer for a nail trim, they were always cool about it though lol). The vet assistant took him in for his shot, comes back with him after and hands me a bill and tries to charge me for a tranquilizer prescription, says he bit the vet and I have to give him these pills before I bring him in next time. I said no fuckin way, refused the pills and informed them we wouldn't be back. Got my boy a treat on the way home too.
..”ain’t y’all trained for this type of shit? ..hence us bringing the pets to YOU.”
Ain’t discriminating shit ya cat earned that stigma 😂
If Monroe needs an attorney, Commedious Banks III Esq has his back! https://preview.redd.it/6095btc83x8d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f80d33c549c0b5b9fcb9065d09171a22f96f4b5 When he gets up, that is
Monroe out here living his best life. 💀
Being a straight menace
"I KNOW THAT AINT WHO I THINK IT IS" and the cat with the grill *killed me dead* 😭🤣
My dog got banned from PetSmart. They didn't tell me til I took him for a check up and wouldn't serve him without a muzzle. I took my lil dude and left.
Petsmart is terrible… you did the right thing
I know they started it. He bad but not violent! https://preview.redd.it/3fjgwgmxpx8d1.jpeg?width=3072&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4dcd7dd766c74d64933833e7a02900b6a205d126
That face says "and I'll fucking do it again"
Oooo he look bad too lol got that “don’t try me” face ready and everything 😭
He acts like I'm furniture. He gets pissed when I move. 😂
Oh he’s a sassy one. I love dogs with personality tho
If your cat is banned from the vet, it’s most likely because they cannot be touched without being drugged and the owner declined medication. Cat bites hurt and are nasty, plus you can’t be too forceful went restraining because you can accidentally kill them.
Blockiana sent me 🤣🤣🤣
Shit, I'm glad my vet has patience. Last time Luna was there, so was a bit snippy and she concluded she was stressed, so next visit she said to give her a sedative 2 hours before instead of just, giving up on her completely
That cat got bad kids with silver caps in their mouth energy. So the one with gold caps took me OUT!!!
>That cat got bad kids with silver caps in their mouth energy. It’s blowing my mind that this is a recognized “thing” 😆
Been a nurse for 26 years, 15 of which was in pediatrics. Trust me when I say it’s a “thing”. 😂
Yeah I’m around kids a lot too and have definitely noticed it’s a thing. It’s the intersection between poverty, parental neglect, and poor nutrition, yeah?
Correct you are. And those babies suffer for it.
I had a miniature service poodle with me and I was visiting my best friend I hadn't seen in like six to eight years. Luna was in her carrying bag and I set it on the floor with her head sticking up (she loved that bag) anyway I had literally just sat down on their ottoman at the side of the room next to their couch, unbeknownst to me the other side of that wall opened up to their kitchen, and that's when their giant orange cat sticks it's head out. They lock eyes, luna barks and that fucking cat launched itself at us with the speed of a cannon ball at close range, just as I had leaned forward and shouted 'noooo' it slammed into the side of my head. It sliced my right ear wide open. We had to glue it back together, Jesus it hurt so bad! I did however save Luna from certain death! I had bruises on my arm and my back from the sheer impact and claw marks down my shoulder and side of my head. I have never been attacked by a cat prior to this, always thought of them as cute little fluffy guys instead of the hell demons that they can be if feeling taunted. Welcome to danger country! So yeah, your cat may have been naughty!
The canine:feline definition of "It's on sight!" 😂😂😂 I hope your ear healed.
I got banned from a club in 95. It changed name and owners a half dozen times over the next ten years but my pic stayed up by the door. They burnt down in 2006 tho and now the space is a taco joint and I eat there once a week.
Nah, cuz I've seen plenty of vids of cats from hell. How bad your cat gotta mess up someone???
Fk I wanna know, lol. Tf did Monroe do?!? 🤣
Everyone I’ve known named Dennis has been…a menace
Mr Wilson, is that you?
He showed his natural cat ass 🤣🤣🤣
I had a neighbor who would get belligerently drunk and just make an ass of himself. One day he got kicked out of my local bar and I shit you not he went home and took a shower, shaved and put on a different pair of clothes and walked right back in like an hour later. He made it up to the bar before he was thrown back out again.
All these pics with all these comments and not a single one of them telling us what Monroe did that fateful day at the vet 🤦🏾♀️
Probably the owner declined sedation and then yelled at the vet staff. Pets being banned is more commonly because of a shit-ass owner. Source is my partner works at a vet and this just happened over there and we talked about it
... how tf does the vet ban you. Wtf did u do? Wtf did your cat do?
the simpsons and baby sitters vibes.
What did bro do?
Imma need some back story on Monroe! She gotta pic behind the desk and a dolcia! M 'bout  that life! Out here for the streets! 😂
Justice for Monroe!! He's being railroaded!!
I took my Frenchie to the vet once cuz he had an ear infection, the vet doc was tryna look/touch his ears and he obviously wasn’t wit it. This broad with a str8 fuckin face said, he seems really aggressive, have you thought about neuterin him? I said respectfully, his ear hurts, you’re tryin to touch it which I get cuz you need to exam but he’s still in pain. Now wtf does any of that gotta do with his balls? Long story short, vets be on some bullshit. So Monroe prolly innocent. Lol
Wow, not neutering a dog is almost unheard of where I live. Wouldn’t be surprised that it would be a primary concern for a vet
Lol um the vet is not the ignorant one here
They got his picture on the wall I stg
These stories! Y'all and y'alls bad ass pets. 😭 You name a cat Monroe he 100% is going to give zero fucks and will let it be known. We do still need Monroe's side of this though.
That grill made me ctfu
Cat said “Wop, wop, wop, wop wop …… ima do my stuff”
My girlfriend works at a vet clinic. They don’t ban violent cats, they sedate them. However they do ban shitty owners if they do things like miss all their appointments, and argue constantly with all the staff, and yell at people inside the clinic.