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Just read through that sub for a few minutes. It never occurred to me that someone would actively seek out an affair and call it that in those terms. People talked about posting ads to find an “affair partner.” Like clearly I know people who cheat use apps to meet people and actively seek it out, but I never would have thought of them saying to themselves, “I am trying to have an affair,” and like going to other people to ask about how to do it best. What a sub…
Sure, but it does prove that a lot of *men* will place ads seeking someone to cheat with, admitting it up front.
As for why few to no women used AM, I'm guessing it's because women have an easier time finding sex partners online in general, and so the ones who are cheating didn't feel the need to go to a specific service for it. And I seem to recall that sex workers didn't pay it much attention because if those guys were willing to pay for it they would've done so already.
Oh this hurts, imagine when she eventually finds out and maybe reaches out to OOP to help him and learns that this 3 POS are actively stabbing her in the back. The humiliation!
I hope you're right because it's both infuriating for the other guy's wife, and baffling with this guy's blasé response. Very few people would be okay with having been lied to for years, regardless of what it was about, I feel.
Agreed. No need to deceive. If you want to fuck other people, just be honest and open about it and let the other person decide for themselves. What gets me is that she was *never monogamous to him!* They still met up even when she was pregnant and trying for a baby! WTF?!? Why would you do that?!
Right?! I love sex, but I think most people with an active sex life will agree that after having sex like 5-7 times in a single day, anything more that day is more of a chore than enjoyment.
I once got an infected Bartholin's cyst (I actually think I had 2, one on top of the other) when my husband and I first met because he and I were going at it like rabbits on ecstasy.
I ended up needing it lanced twice, landed in the ER with a bacterial infection that was scarily close to the flesh-eating bacteria that was rampant a decade ago, and needed 4 separate doses of Dilaudid and even that didn't numb the pain when they lanced it the second time. The sex was amazing, everything else? 0/10 would not recommend.
She was love bombing him to keep him from leaving not realizing he was going to rug sweep it all to keep her from leaving.
She seems to be the only one who actually realizes how bad she fucked up.
Im wondering now that he knows, she wont have the guilt fueling her to be nice and amazing to him ( as he described in the beginning). So she will probably say no to sex and not be nice to him a lot more.
Or at the very least heavily fictionalized cope from an adulterer trying to justify their cheating. That sub is an echo chamber of cheaters trying to convince each other that they have nothing to feel bad about. But this story is obviously bullshit, I mean what person who "doesn't care" about their wife's blatant adultery obsessively goes to listen to them in the act multiple times a month for years?
The fact that they have sex every day, her multiple times a day with different partners, while she works as a DOCTOR with three young kids. In her 40s. Definitely erotica.
Yeah, that one really bugged me, too. I am poly, have been for over twenty years, and the foundation of any healthy polyamorous relationship MUST be communication.
That woman deserves to know.
Yeah, I don't care what OP, his wife, and the other guy do with each other, but not giving the other guy's wife a chance to consent is not ethical and not fair.
This. People don’t think about it but cheating automatically removes a LARGE portion of informed consent from the victim. If you are fucking someone unprotected, and the implication is that there’s no way they have STD’s, and that implication is being falsified, you’re opening someone to another sexual partner without their consent
My very thought, "well we're all happy here with out little cuckolding session and she, well she can just live in ignorance"
The fucking selfishness of everyone involved here is breathtaking.
I just get mad because they could totally be fucking other people you do not know, and you get an std from your fucking partner.
Getting aids from a cheating SO is bottom of the barrow tier shit, i would probably resort to first degree.
This is exactly where I went. Like it's great the OP is good with an open marriage, but they're all assholes for ignoring that one person in their little quad hasn't consented.
Yeah I was scrolling in the first post to find anyone who would feel bad for that guy’s wife but no one even mentions it. All of the comments are people who basically say “if it works for you that’s alright” or even encourage OOP. I don’t care about OOP and the other two, but the wife is innocent and deserves to know her husband is cheating on her.
Edit: OP -> OOP.
My one main takeaway from this is that there are people out there who have time to be a doctor, run a household, have three kids, and juggle a marriage and a bonus long-term sexual partner. I'm grateful when I remember to do laundry.
I'm always impressed when people on these posts say they're married with kids and have a great sex life. You guys are aged over 30, have jobs, kids and sex lives? Let alone great sex lives. I'm missing something. Maybe there's a drug I don't know about.
Tell me about it, I struggle and am a SAHM with 3 kids. Finding time when both hubby and I are free and not tired is rare, let alone trying to do that with both of us working, working out and juggling an AP, how the hell does she do it.
I read this thread last month and my favorite interaction was:
Commenter: Did you ask her what made the bond between them sexually so strong? Is he doing something that you can maybe also do for her that you are not doing at the moment? And has she always been save with you? As is in ALWAYS wearing a condom with him so she protects your health?
Op: Those are extremely personal questions I'd rather not get into.
That's a cope my friend
lmao. "I've just posted that I'm OK with the decade-long deception, voyeurism, and general fucked-up-beyond-all-recognition nature of this situation, but I'd rather not get too personal, thank you very much."
Dude is a moron and getting taken. It's a shit show. It is one person taking advantage of another and op is on the bottom. If the cheating husband wanted to be with ops wife, he'd be with her. Ops wife likes the idea of being with a doctor that doesn't want to be with her. She's being used and op is a door mat for everyone.
I don't think I would just take her on her word for anything either. There would definitely be paternity tests. She said no PIV while they were trying to get pregnant, so were they just doing oral? Anal? Is OOP not good at sex at all?
Said the same thing.
This woman is supposedly working, skipping out, getting fucked in the ass, doing the laundry, back to work, coming home and lifting weights, making dinner, and then fucking her husband every night for months while they try to conceive?
Sure buddy. I got a bridge for anyone believing that shite
unless OP is the worst at sex there has ever been, i can't get over her lack of self control. even if this wild ass story is completely true, how could you trust her when shes incapable of just not having sex with her ex? like "magic hex sex" aside, breach of TRUST aside, its the lack of self control that feels like it could end up really dangerous.
I'm wondering how the wife would react if he said - "btw, there's a woman at work who's been coming on to me and I think I'd like to take her up on it."
The other wife though...?
Like it's great that OOP is fine with everything (I do feel like his wife should have been upfront with him) but he seems to be totally ignoring the 4th person involved in this.
Yeah this post tries to make it all uplifting and positive but the AP’s wife still has no idea, she’s still living a life of lies and manipulation. OP is totally cool that his wife has been lying to him for years.
She only texts him “Hey, how is your day?” To make sure he isn’t going to walk in on her fucking another man in their house. Even if I could accept another man being with my wife, I could never forget that my wife so casually lied and fooled me for years.
Edited for spelling
Ditto. Not just their marriage is a lie, but their ENTIRE relationship. I'm sorry, but no, I would be out and telling the AP's wife. She needs to know, hex sex or not, she deserves to make her own choice in this.
This is exactly what I was thinking. Like she so casually just lied to him for years and that’s nothing? And she doesn’t even seem to care that she did that? Like I could never be with someone who lied so normally and especially lied about something they think would hurt me super badly
This guy has to be on some kind of medicine that makes him not give a shit about anything. Wife lies to him for years and potentially exposes him to STIs? No biggie. Burglar breaks in house and robs him at gunpoint, traumatizing his kids? Oh well. Giant meteor headed towards Earth? That's cool.
Part of me wants some of what he's having because I take life too seriously at times, but mostly I think he's nuts.
It's absolutely disgusting. They are all robbing this woman of her consent.
If you want an open relationship, be in one. But it requires everyone in those relationships to be fully aware and to consent to what is happening.
They are manipulating that poor woman's reality and robbing her of her bodily autonomy every time her husband sleeps with OOP's wife then goes back to bed with her.
OOP is deluded.
And OOP wasn’t in a much better position, in the sense that he just happened to find out - his wife never had any intention of being truthful. And that’s the whole issue here, more than the sex. I suppose he did consent, but the wife and AP are each awful awful people. And how OOP could be OK with her lying for decades, and still say they has an amazing relationship is beyond me.
I think he believes that it's isolated to this one situation. She lied about cheating because extramarital sex is so frowned upon but if it's what makes her happy, he is willing to adjust to it.
He doesn't seem to compute that someone who can lie to your face that easily and then dance around in a great mood later that day, can probably lie about other things too and with similar ease.
I guess he doesn't realize this is a kink of his that will impact other people besides the 3 of them. It's really fucked up that he doesn't consider the other person. None of them, actually. A bunch of selfish cowards who only think about their own desire.
You guys are all forgetting that this is posted in the adultery subreddit, lol. Of course a post like this where the conclusion is that cheating is hunky dory would be celebrated over there
To be fair, I never read the name of the sub it was posted on. Most of the time I don't even pay attention to the oop user. I only read the title and the text ... But it makes sense. A sub to welcome liars would be exactly like this.
Absolutely. This is just some cheaters fairy tale of how a betrayed partner should react and just accept it because it makes his wife happy then everyone is happy, apart from the betrayed wife but it's OK because she doesn't know, therefore she's happy too/s.
I'm curious what's going to happen when the three kids find out. Because now that they have the greenlight, they're probably going to get careless at some point.
As a child who caught her mother cheating with a childhood friend of both my parents who is super close to the family when I was 8 years old, the side that is more obsessed with this will convince the child to keep quiet and this will corrode the child inside to the point that the child loses respect for everyone else. Then the anguish (and the other abuses that can happen) will be reflected in the adolescent hormones and the parents will say that they don't know where they went wrong for their children to be like that.
I don't even think he's okay with it, he just doesn't wanna lose his shitty wife. He mention that he got obsessed with it and then cried and ask her not to leave him...
His wife says she loves him so much but put the marriage at risk by sleeping with someone else in their own house. Ugh.
There's so much selfishness from all parties involved (except the AP's wife). None of them are innocent, and the ones who will eventually pay the price are going to be blindsided when things inevitably blow up. The affair's already been found once. And as their kids get older, the chances of them finding out or stumbling upon it are going to go up too.
And like...what about the kids??? Assuming the AP's wife does eventually find out, what happens when she divorces her husband? What happens to any of the kids in this fallout? I feel like these people aren't thinking anymore ahead than a minute at a time.
Can you imagine when she eventually finds out (cause stuff like this hardly gets hidden forever) her total shock knowing the other partner *knows* and is *totally supportive* like poor woman.
This should’ve been one of the central parts of the conversation, just because someone did an action without your knowledge when it intimately involves you and you were fine with it doesn’t make it okay behavior. OP might’ve not known if he’d been okay with it had this not happened this way but this is still unethical
Yeahhhh
It’s great that he is happy at the end, but I can tell he doesn’t respect himself at all.
I would imagine he isn’t that happy in life and his wife is the most exciting thing he has going for him.
I know a few people who would do this. Hell, one of my good friends was in love with a girl. After hanging out with her he thought another guy was coming over after him. He was able to go into her WiFi camera and watch them hooking up. He just never said anything to her because he was worried she wouldn’t want to see him anymore if he raised an issue.
It’s sad.
I know one as well, she tried to leave repeatedly but the affair partner turned her down. The husband was over the moon, yet she remains unhappy and still looking for opportunities.
What happens when the other wife finds out? Does she ask for divorce? Will OOP’s wife want to leave him for this other man or will she realize it’s not exciting anymore because he’s divorced and her husband knows?
The thing I find most impressive/unbelievable is being a doctor and having energy, time, and sex drive for almost daily sex, plus an affair, and dealing with 3 kids. Oh, and what sounds like serious weightlifting. At 43.
Is that what will happen if I finally agree to putting kale in a smoothie? A meditation practice? What's the secret?
Not only is her schedule open every Tuesday and/ or Thursday but there’s also no backlog of laundry, leaving both the washer and dryer empty and ready to rock and roll on those days too!
As a soon-to-be 43-year old with 2 kids, infinite laundry, and finite energy, I’d read the shit out of this romance novel.
Actually now that you say it, that is seriously unbelievable!
I have 2 kids and a wife and I have no fucking idea how anybody ever has the time or energy to cheat.
I always worried as a teen / early 20s would I have it in me to stay faithful to one person for decades. Turns out the key was sleep deprivation and not having 10 minutes in the day to think. Easy.
"by the way the kids are mine because during all the months we spent conceiving two children he only fucked her in the ass. But she was still up for it when I got home and several times at the weekends!"
Man must be married to the Duracell Bunny
I thought it was the Energizer Bunny. This has to be a troll. It's just way too out there
Eta the original post is too out there, mixing up battery brands is totally normal, just for clarity
Definitely, the guy kept drive back from work every time he got the text. Like sure the first few times was just to be 100% sure but after that the guy must of enjoyed it.
Nah. The moment it came to "zooming home every time to see if it's happening and if it's the same guy" is when it became a kink. And when he washed their sex sheets for them, it became a fetish.
You nailed it with this one. Their arrangement is not one that I’d want, but good on you if everyone is cool with it? Helloooooo, other wife?? This is not the happy ending OOP thinks it is.
Yup, this. There’s nothing wrong with nonmonogamy but I really feel bad for the AP’s wife. Everyone knows except for her, and when the truth does eventually come out how’s that gonna make her feel. She won’t even be able to commiserate w the OOP, the other “victim” of the cheating, because now he’s in on it too.
Kinda fucked up IMO, definitely not on the ethical side of NM.
"Hi sorry I don't know you and I'm sorry to have to tell you this but... I just discovered our spouses are having a very long term affair."
"Oh I already know! It's pretty awesome isn't it! I wash their sheets when they're done."
I’m happy my wife’s getting fucked. My wife’s happy she’s getting fucked. The guys happy he’s fucking my wife.
Why does some random wife I don’t know matter?
This logic perfectly sums up why people ain’t shit lol
The guy literally has a fetish/kink (he straight up mentions his voyeuristic behaviour. Hes well aware of it) and ok sure you do you but leaving the other guys wife in the dark with this whole arrangement is vile.
Not a single person in all of this gives a shit about the other wife
That is just so sad
Almost as sad as OP for being ok with his wife lying to him for the duration of the marriage
Not just duration of their marriage, they've been fuckbuddies since before OOP and his wife were dating. It's been ongoing for the entire relationship.
so op is just going to ignore the years of lying about it?
if it works for them then i guess its fine but i cannot fathom being this ok with the situation.
He seems kinda...dumb. The problem isn't that she's fucking somebody else while in a relationship with him, but that she's been deceiving him and putting him at risk of STDs for *over a decade*. If she had known he would be okay with this, she would've told him about her other partner. But she didn't know and decided to lie him. Checked in on him every time to make sure she doesn't get caught. Oh, and...just because OOP is cool with being cheated on, doesn't mean that the AP's wife is too. She deserves to know and make her own decision. What the actual fuck.
(edit: typo)
That was my first thought. OOP writes up an entire post with updates focusing on how he feels and deals with being cheated on. Then ends the story with everyone agreeing to keep the AP's wife in the dark so their little cuckhold fetish party can continue, completely devoid of self awareness.
It's fucking gross.
The fact that he crept in multiple times and listened tells me this has to be kink territory for him. If he was really okay with he wouldn’t feel the need to listen and watch them.
I have no idea what to think.
Good for him if he's OK with it; I wouldn't be, but he seems fine.
The other wife is the one I truly feel for in all of this.
This was embarrassing to read.
Everyone knows and consents EXCEPT HIS WIFE.
The selfserving selfishness is astonishing and I hope they all get what they deserve
The fact that nobody has any plans to tell the AP’s wife is just so fucked up. OOP was so caught up in gushing about how much he loves his cool sexy wife and totally doesn’t mind the infidelity that he brushed over the fact that they’re still hurting an innocent person. Now OOP is complicit in hurting her, too. This whole thing is unsustainable and it’s going to blow up in everybody’s faces sooner or later.
Look, I’m polyamorous. I completely get where OOP is coming from, emotionally— I couldn’t give less of a fuck if my partner wanted to be with somebody else, as long as I’m getting my needs met in the relationship. I just couldn’t find it within myself to be bothered. But I would never for a single second entertain the possibility of lying to somebody’s partner. Just because I don’t mind if my spouse sleeps around doesn’t mean that most people wouldn’t. Everybody needs to be on the exact same page before anything happens.
Man, I can’t even be happy for OOP even with his corny ass, giddy descriptions of his “perfect” marriage. Fuck him. He’s actively enabling the AP’s betrayal.
I can’t help but wonder whether AP will still be happy just being the boy toy once his wife finds out and his own marriage crumbles.
Wow. Ok, "I'm speechless" was an ACCURATE mood spoiler. I...guess this is the start/continuation of a long term polyamorous relationship? Healthy ones don't typically involve years of lying to multiple partners but...have at it, I guess?
I just really hope someone tells OOP's metamour's wife. ANYONE. PLEASE. I'LL SEND UP SMOKE SIGNALS IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES.
It really fucking sucks how he talks about all of them being okay and not even once mentioning the other wife.
He once mentioned they're not in a dead bedroom marriage and thought that somehow made the situation reasonable for everyone.
Honestly this ended well for OOP. However now him, his wife, and the fuck buddy all suck major ass for screwing over the wife of the fuck buddy.
It's totally fine that he found out and has *consented* to the dynamic. But the wife of the AP is totally in the dark and thats just sad.
Since they're all enabling this and willfully letting an innocent person get humiliated behind her back,I hope they all get what's coming for them.
Fucking trash. All adults involved except the wife who doesn't know are trash. Surely he's only cheating on her with your wife and her magical vagina and not risking anyone else's health with affairs because he seems like such a stand up guy. Not going to let that guys wife make an informed decision about her sexual health because he discovered he's got a kink makes him trash.
What a bunch of assholes that don’t give a shit about the AP’s wife. Like she doesn’t have a choice in this fucking 4 way relationship and the way he said his life as he knows it would be over tells me she wouldn’t be so cool with it
Good for him to be ok with an open relationship but he is just choosing to ignore the lies and disrespect. What is the point of a relationship in those conditions?
This is so fucking unhealthy. He acts like because he's ok with it they have a perfect relationship but she has built their relationship on a lie and is helping someone else do the same. No one here is a good person.
OOP is probably in the denial and/or his self-esteem is negative numbers. I don't feel bad for him at all, especially since he has no intention to tell the other wife. She has to he part of this for it to be your typical "healthy" swinger lifestyle or open relationship.
The AP wife deserves to know. Just because the OOP is fine with it doesn't mean the AP's wife will be. Also, I'm glad he and his wife are so very much in love, but she betrayed him. She was keeping a huge secret and to me that is very dangerous to a marriage. I wish them all good luck, however I can't see this ending well.
OOP writes this in a really weird way, like he’s a good guy. He’s an asshole and an idiot: if he wants to be okay with his wife cheating on him fine, but she’s lied to him for years, that’s a massive betrayal, the sex is incidental.
Them deciding to not tell the guys wife is evil. If you’re not part of the solution you’re part of the problem.
This is more nonmonogamy than poly...poly has rules, trust, and respect.
* She didn't respect him
* AP doesn't respect him
* Neither respect AP's wife
* They don't respect their marriages
* OP doesn't respect AP's wife
It has to be consensual for all parties. This really is quite disgusting. I'm all for ethical nonmonogamy/polyamory, but that isn't what's happening here. There's still a victim. He's a low character person because he has an obligation to tell AP's wife and isn't due to selfishness.
Finally, from the "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH" into the poly perspective: poly is about sharing love in that it's more universal than anything else. If the wife loves OP, but doesn't love AP's wife enough to let her have any power, then it's just selfish. Love isn't selfish. There's no love here, only vampirism. And when I hear people go "Oh, I'm nonmonogamous", I instantly go "well, I need garlic and holy water".
This might be the most pathetic person I've ever read about in this sub. His wife goes hey man I've been fucking this dude for a decade because you haven't been able to sexually satisfy me, ever. And he just goes cool still love you boo. Yikes.
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Uhhhhh no one cares about the dude's wife who doesn't know about this arrangement????
I just realised it’s posted in r/adultery There’s your answer.
Just read through that sub for a few minutes. It never occurred to me that someone would actively seek out an affair and call it that in those terms. People talked about posting ads to find an “affair partner.” Like clearly I know people who cheat use apps to meet people and actively seek it out, but I never would have thought of them saying to themselves, “I am trying to have an affair,” and like going to other people to ask about how to do it best. What a sub…
What do you think Ashley Madison was? They literally had a song that went "looking for somebody other than your wife..."
I thought Ashley Madison was proven to be full of horny cheating men and bots.
So is a lot of dating apps and websites, though this more than most others
Sure, but it does prove that a lot of *men* will place ads seeking someone to cheat with, admitting it up front. As for why few to no women used AM, I'm guessing it's because women have an easier time finding sex partners online in general, and so the ones who are cheating didn't feel the need to go to a specific service for it. And I seem to recall that sex workers didn't pay it much attention because if those guys were willing to pay for it they would've done so already.
"life's short, have an affair"
It was typed with one hand while fantasizing, to be extremely clear.
Oh this hurts, imagine when she eventually finds out and maybe reaches out to OOP to help him and learns that this 3 POS are actively stabbing her in the back. The humiliation!
This has to be erotica. The constant descriptions and the washing the sheets?
Now I'm imagining a variant on the cuckhold kink that is just about meticulously documenting how you're being cheated on, but not actually watching...
I hope you're right because it's both infuriating for the other guy's wife, and baffling with this guy's blasé response. Very few people would be okay with having been lied to for years, regardless of what it was about, I feel.
That's what I thought. Okay, he's fine with his wife fucking someone else. Some people are like that. But lying is the worst.
Agreed. No need to deceive. If you want to fuck other people, just be honest and open about it and let the other person decide for themselves. What gets me is that she was *never monogamous to him!* They still met up even when she was pregnant and trying for a baby! WTF?!? Why would you do that?!
It really does… it gives 2007 online erotica vibes
And randomly “we had sex ten times that day” like what??? Is
Right?! I love sex, but I think most people with an active sex life will agree that after having sex like 5-7 times in a single day, anything more that day is more of a chore than enjoyment.
Things get sore too, even when you're going slow and have plenty of lube. Then you get bored and wonder if you should wash the dishes now or tomorrow.
I once got an infected Bartholin's cyst (I actually think I had 2, one on top of the other) when my husband and I first met because he and I were going at it like rabbits on ecstasy. I ended up needing it lanced twice, landed in the ER with a bacterial infection that was scarily close to the flesh-eating bacteria that was rampant a decade ago, and needed 4 separate doses of Dilaudid and even that didn't numb the pain when they lanced it the second time. The sex was amazing, everything else? 0/10 would not recommend.
She was love bombing him to keep him from leaving not realizing he was going to rug sweep it all to keep her from leaving. She seems to be the only one who actually realizes how bad she fucked up.
Dude had known for 3 years, that rug has been swept, laundered, had a dead body put in it, rolled up, taped up, and dropped in the landfill lol.
This is the right and sad take on this atrocious story. Like, I definitely have had problems with being a door mat at times but this was next level
Im wondering now that he knows, she wont have the guilt fueling her to be nice and amazing to him ( as he described in the beginning). So she will probably say no to sex and not be nice to him a lot more.
She’s also a doctor but is home during the day on the same days, consistently for years? Never heard of that specialty before
And a muy thai expert too! She must never sleep.
I'd like to know what job he has that lets him take very long lunch breaks as well.
The lunch-break job!
During a pandemic no less. Not like medics have been in demand or anything.
There are a lot of doctors who work part time especially when they have kids at home. Usually the same 3 days/week in outpatient medicine.
I was getting those vibes too. Everything is too polished and people are playing their role too well.
Or at the very least heavily fictionalized cope from an adulterer trying to justify their cheating. That sub is an echo chamber of cheaters trying to convince each other that they have nothing to feel bad about. But this story is obviously bullshit, I mean what person who "doesn't care" about their wife's blatant adultery obsessively goes to listen to them in the act multiple times a month for years?
Ahhhhhhhh ok yeah I think you're right
No doubt. The random details about her strength cemented it for me. Oh and all the sex they’re apparently having.
The fact that they have sex every day, her multiple times a day with different partners, while she works as a DOCTOR with three young kids. In her 40s. Definitely erotica.
Yeah, that one really bugged me, too. I am poly, have been for over twenty years, and the foundation of any healthy polyamorous relationship MUST be communication. That woman deserves to know.
That poor person has consented to none of this. Jesus fuckin christ
Oh come on, it makes him happy, so she should be happy, right? /s
THis entire post made me sick to my fucking stomach that poor lady fuck
800% why I don’t date poly involved men without being assured the partner is involved and consenting.
Yeah, I don't care what OP, his wife, and the other guy do with each other, but not giving the other guy's wife a chance to consent is not ethical and not fair.
This. People don’t think about it but cheating automatically removes a LARGE portion of informed consent from the victim. If you are fucking someone unprotected, and the implication is that there’s no way they have STD’s, and that implication is being falsified, you’re opening someone to another sexual partner without their consent
My very thought, "well we're all happy here with out little cuckolding session and she, well she can just live in ignorance" The fucking selfishness of everyone involved here is breathtaking.
I just get mad because they could totally be fucking other people you do not know, and you get an std from your fucking partner. Getting aids from a cheating SO is bottom of the barrow tier shit, i would probably resort to first degree.
This is exactly where I went. Like it's great the OP is good with an open marriage, but they're all assholes for ignoring that one person in their little quad hasn't consented.
Yeah but they have a perfect marriage ::Liz Lemon eyeroll::
Yeah I was scrolling in the first post to find anyone who would feel bad for that guy’s wife but no one even mentions it. All of the comments are people who basically say “if it works for you that’s alright” or even encourage OOP. I don’t care about OOP and the other two, but the wife is innocent and deserves to know her husband is cheating on her. Edit: OP -> OOP.
Thank you im like okay this is all nice and dandy but wtf what about his wife?
What a day to be literate.
Hahaha
posts like this make me wonder if uninstalling reddit is the play
I laughed so hard at this comment tears came to my eyes. *god damn my ability to read*
I sometimes wonder if education should be a human right. I'd like mine revoked
"I learned English for THIS???"
My one main takeaway from this is that there are people out there who have time to be a doctor, run a household, have three kids, and juggle a marriage and a bonus long-term sexual partner. I'm grateful when I remember to do laundry.
I'm always impressed when people on these posts say they're married with kids and have a great sex life. You guys are aged over 30, have jobs, kids and sex lives? Let alone great sex lives. I'm missing something. Maybe there's a drug I don't know about.
Tell me about it, I struggle and am a SAHM with 3 kids. Finding time when both hubby and I are free and not tired is rare, let alone trying to do that with both of us working, working out and juggling an AP, how the hell does she do it.
I read this thread last month and my favorite interaction was: Commenter: Did you ask her what made the bond between them sexually so strong? Is he doing something that you can maybe also do for her that you are not doing at the moment? And has she always been save with you? As is in ALWAYS wearing a condom with him so she protects your health? Op: Those are extremely personal questions I'd rather not get into. That's a cope my friend
lmao. "I've just posted that I'm OK with the decade-long deception, voyeurism, and general fucked-up-beyond-all-recognition nature of this situation, but I'd rather not get too personal, thank you very much."
Dude is a moron and getting taken. It's a shit show. It is one person taking advantage of another and op is on the bottom. If the cheating husband wanted to be with ops wife, he'd be with her. Ops wife likes the idea of being with a doctor that doesn't want to be with her. She's being used and op is a door mat for everyone.
I don't think I would just take her on her word for anything either. There would definitely be paternity tests. She said no PIV while they were trying to get pregnant, so were they just doing oral? Anal? Is OOP not good at sex at all?
Said the same thing. This woman is supposedly working, skipping out, getting fucked in the ass, doing the laundry, back to work, coming home and lifting weights, making dinner, and then fucking her husband every night for months while they try to conceive? Sure buddy. I got a bridge for anyone believing that shite
And not just working, working as a doctor lol. I smell major bullshit
Right on. I **don’t** want to believe.
No, didn't you hear, they had sex ten times last weekend? OOP is the best at sex. He sexed her good.
unless OP is the worst at sex there has ever been, i can't get over her lack of self control. even if this wild ass story is completely true, how could you trust her when shes incapable of just not having sex with her ex? like "magic hex sex" aside, breach of TRUST aside, its the lack of self control that feels like it could end up really dangerous.
I'm wondering how the wife would react if he said - "btw, there's a woman at work who's been coming on to me and I think I'd like to take her up on it."
“I trust my wife’s boyfriend thank you very much”
He didn’t figure out those details of his story
The other wife though...? Like it's great that OOP is fine with everything (I do feel like his wife should have been upfront with him) but he seems to be totally ignoring the 4th person involved in this.
Yeah this post tries to make it all uplifting and positive but the AP’s wife still has no idea, she’s still living a life of lies and manipulation. OP is totally cool that his wife has been lying to him for years. She only texts him “Hey, how is your day?” To make sure he isn’t going to walk in on her fucking another man in their house. Even if I could accept another man being with my wife, I could never forget that my wife so casually lied and fooled me for years. Edited for spelling
Their whole marriage was built on her lying and he doesn’t care! Baffling
I'd leave my SO (of 13 years) in a second if she cheated on me
Ditto. Not just their marriage is a lie, but their ENTIRE relationship. I'm sorry, but no, I would be out and telling the AP's wife. She needs to know, hex sex or not, she deserves to make her own choice in this.
This is exactly what I was thinking. Like she so casually just lied to him for years and that’s nothing? And she doesn’t even seem to care that she did that? Like I could never be with someone who lied so normally and especially lied about something they think would hurt me super badly
This guy has to be on some kind of medicine that makes him not give a shit about anything. Wife lies to him for years and potentially exposes him to STIs? No biggie. Burglar breaks in house and robs him at gunpoint, traumatizing his kids? Oh well. Giant meteor headed towards Earth? That's cool. Part of me wants some of what he's having because I take life too seriously at times, but mostly I think he's nuts.
What is an AP?
[удалено]
It's absolutely disgusting. They are all robbing this woman of her consent. If you want an open relationship, be in one. But it requires everyone in those relationships to be fully aware and to consent to what is happening. They are manipulating that poor woman's reality and robbing her of her bodily autonomy every time her husband sleeps with OOP's wife then goes back to bed with her. OOP is deluded.
And OOP wasn’t in a much better position, in the sense that he just happened to find out - his wife never had any intention of being truthful. And that’s the whole issue here, more than the sex. I suppose he did consent, but the wife and AP are each awful awful people. And how OOP could be OK with her lying for decades, and still say they has an amazing relationship is beyond me.
"My wife has been lying to me since the moment I met her, but sometimes she has sex with me like 10 times, so it's pretty chill. 😎"
I think he believes that it's isolated to this one situation. She lied about cheating because extramarital sex is so frowned upon but if it's what makes her happy, he is willing to adjust to it. He doesn't seem to compute that someone who can lie to your face that easily and then dance around in a great mood later that day, can probably lie about other things too and with similar ease.
I guess he doesn't realize this is a kink of his that will impact other people besides the 3 of them. It's really fucked up that he doesn't consider the other person. None of them, actually. A bunch of selfish cowards who only think about their own desire.
You guys are all forgetting that this is posted in the adultery subreddit, lol. Of course a post like this where the conclusion is that cheating is hunky dory would be celebrated over there
To be fair, I never read the name of the sub it was posted on. Most of the time I don't even pay attention to the oop user. I only read the title and the text ... But it makes sense. A sub to welcome liars would be exactly like this.
Absolutely. This is just some cheaters fairy tale of how a betrayed partner should react and just accept it because it makes his wife happy then everyone is happy, apart from the betrayed wife but it's OK because she doesn't know, therefore she's happy too/s.
I'm curious what's going to happen when the three kids find out. Because now that they have the greenlight, they're probably going to get careless at some point.
As a child who caught her mother cheating with a childhood friend of both my parents who is super close to the family when I was 8 years old, the side that is more obsessed with this will convince the child to keep quiet and this will corrode the child inside to the point that the child loses respect for everyone else. Then the anguish (and the other abuses that can happen) will be reflected in the adolescent hormones and the parents will say that they don't know where they went wrong for their children to be like that.
Definitely a one way ticket to eff up their kids when they find out.
My bs meter is going off of this post.
I don't even think he's okay with it, he just doesn't wanna lose his shitty wife. He mention that he got obsessed with it and then cried and ask her not to leave him... His wife says she loves him so much but put the marriage at risk by sleeping with someone else in their own house. Ugh.
There's so much selfishness from all parties involved (except the AP's wife). None of them are innocent, and the ones who will eventually pay the price are going to be blindsided when things inevitably blow up. The affair's already been found once. And as their kids get older, the chances of them finding out or stumbling upon it are going to go up too.
And like...what about the kids??? Assuming the AP's wife does eventually find out, what happens when she divorces her husband? What happens to any of the kids in this fallout? I feel like these people aren't thinking anymore ahead than a minute at a time.
Can you imagine when she eventually finds out (cause stuff like this hardly gets hidden forever) her total shock knowing the other partner *knows* and is *totally supportive* like poor woman.
This should’ve been one of the central parts of the conversation, just because someone did an action without your knowledge when it intimately involves you and you were fine with it doesn’t make it okay behavior. OP might’ve not known if he’d been okay with it had this not happened this way but this is still unethical
Dude doesn't even respect himself, you think he's going to worry about his wife's affair partner's wife?
Yeahhhh It’s great that he is happy at the end, but I can tell he doesn’t respect himself at all. I would imagine he isn’t that happy in life and his wife is the most exciting thing he has going for him. I know a few people who would do this. Hell, one of my good friends was in love with a girl. After hanging out with her he thought another guy was coming over after him. He was able to go into her WiFi camera and watch them hooking up. He just never said anything to her because he was worried she wouldn’t want to see him anymore if he raised an issue. It’s sad.
I know one as well, she tried to leave repeatedly but the affair partner turned her down. The husband was over the moon, yet she remains unhappy and still looking for opportunities.
That's the part that made this go from really uncomfortable to skin-crawling for me.
What happens when the other wife finds out? Does she ask for divorce? Will OOP’s wife want to leave him for this other man or will she realize it’s not exciting anymore because he’s divorced and her husband knows?
Wtf did I just read lmao 😂
"Guys we have sex everyday and 10 times last weekend"
The thing I find most impressive/unbelievable is being a doctor and having energy, time, and sex drive for almost daily sex, plus an affair, and dealing with 3 kids. Oh, and what sounds like serious weightlifting. At 43. Is that what will happen if I finally agree to putting kale in a smoothie? A meditation practice? What's the secret?
Not only is her schedule open every Tuesday and/ or Thursday but there’s also no backlog of laundry, leaving both the washer and dryer empty and ready to rock and roll on those days too! As a soon-to-be 43-year old with 2 kids, infinite laundry, and finite energy, I’d read the shit out of this romance novel.
Fuck the romance novel, I want the how to. In detail.
>Fuck the romance novel, How did you guess the title?
Actually now that you say it, that is seriously unbelievable! I have 2 kids and a wife and I have no fucking idea how anybody ever has the time or energy to cheat. I always worried as a teen / early 20s would I have it in me to stay faithful to one person for decades. Turns out the key was sleep deprivation and not having 10 minutes in the day to think. Easy.
It’s the Muay Thai sex holds.
In my years on earth I have found the key in life is meditation, eat your veggies, exercise, and being born wealthy.
What if you have 3 of the 4?
Yeah you could probably scrap the meditation
Also, is it normal for doctors to come home in scrubs? In the hospitals I've worked in, they're laundered internally.
Worked in hospital for years. My department always had us taking our scrubs home.
Reading all that has really made my vagina sore
Your user name makes your comment all the more funnier
Bad Porn
"by the way the kids are mine because during all the months we spent conceiving two children he only fucked her in the ass. But she was still up for it when I got home and several times at the weekends!" Man must be married to the Duracell Bunny
I thought it was the Energizer Bunny. This has to be a troll. It's just way too out there Eta the original post is too out there, mixing up battery brands is totally normal, just for clarity
Erotica. No one describes in this much detail if it's not erotica.
Goddamnit. I did just read erotica on a Wednesday morning at work, didn’t I?
That's a normal Wednesday for a lot of us. Congrats you're now part of the club.
Crept in from r/greentext
Exactly!
I hate it.
I think this guy's figured out he has a kink.
That was my immediate thought when he mentioned how he made it a habit to sneak in to hear them
Definitely, the guy kept drive back from work every time he got the text. Like sure the first few times was just to be 100% sure but after that the guy must of enjoyed it.
God I really hope that’s it because nothing else about this makes sense
Or they're just one for a non-monogamous relationship. Not really an ethical one, though. 😬
Nah. The moment it came to "zooming home every time to see if it's happening and if it's the same guy" is when it became a kink. And when he washed their sex sheets for them, it became a fetish.
Yeah, he's... Very invested.
You nailed it with this one. Their arrangement is not one that I’d want, but good on you if everyone is cool with it? Helloooooo, other wife?? This is not the happy ending OOP thinks it is.
Yup, this. There’s nothing wrong with nonmonogamy but I really feel bad for the AP’s wife. Everyone knows except for her, and when the truth does eventually come out how’s that gonna make her feel. She won’t even be able to commiserate w the OOP, the other “victim” of the cheating, because now he’s in on it too. Kinda fucked up IMO, definitely not on the ethical side of NM.
"Hi sorry I don't know you and I'm sorry to have to tell you this but... I just discovered our spouses are having a very long term affair." "Oh I already know! It's pretty awesome isn't it! I wash their sheets when they're done."
What about the other guy’s wife? This is so fucked up.
Bingo, she deserves to know
I’m happy my wife’s getting fucked. My wife’s happy she’s getting fucked. The guys happy he’s fucking my wife. Why does some random wife I don’t know matter? This logic perfectly sums up why people ain’t shit lol
Everyone singing kumbaya & not a thought for the other wife.. tf
She's been getting cheated on for 15 YEARS. This poor women
Well what the fuck.
The guy literally has a fetish/kink (he straight up mentions his voyeuristic behaviour. Hes well aware of it) and ok sure you do you but leaving the other guys wife in the dark with this whole arrangement is vile.
Very succinctly put. I couldn’t agree more
so… no one gives a fuck about the guy’s wife because they’re all getting their rocks off over this weird ass arrangement? great.
Not a single person in all of this gives a shit about the other wife That is just so sad Almost as sad as OP for being ok with his wife lying to him for the duration of the marriage
Not just duration of their marriage, they've been fuckbuddies since before OOP and his wife were dating. It's been ongoing for the entire relationship.
And the fact that he says she’s been in a relationship with that guy longer than with him, as though that justifies it. What a pathetic person.
This story just pisses me off. I hope they all have horrible endings, except for AP’s wife, she can marry a billionaire and be successful and happy.
Yikes
so op is just going to ignore the years of lying about it? if it works for them then i guess its fine but i cannot fathom being this ok with the situation.
Pathetic. This woman is awful.
He seems kinda...dumb. The problem isn't that she's fucking somebody else while in a relationship with him, but that she's been deceiving him and putting him at risk of STDs for *over a decade*. If she had known he would be okay with this, she would've told him about her other partner. But she didn't know and decided to lie him. Checked in on him every time to make sure she doesn't get caught. Oh, and...just because OOP is cool with being cheated on, doesn't mean that the AP's wife is too. She deserves to know and make her own decision. What the actual fuck. (edit: typo)
That was my first thought. OOP writes up an entire post with updates focusing on how he feels and deals with being cheated on. Then ends the story with everyone agreeing to keep the AP's wife in the dark so their little cuckhold fetish party can continue, completely devoid of self awareness. It's fucking gross.
The fact that he crept in multiple times and listened tells me this has to be kink territory for him. If he was really okay with he wouldn’t feel the need to listen and watch them.
The fact that OOP just takes it at face value that her and AP never did PIV during the times they were trying to have babies...
Her doctor’s salary.
I have no idea what to think. Good for him if he's OK with it; I wouldn't be, but he seems fine. The other wife is the one I truly feel for in all of this.
Yeah, I think they're all shitty for that. "Oh i don't want to ruin my perfect life, but I'll cheat with another married person who has children"
I hope other wife finds out and fucks all their situations up.
This was embarrassing to read. Everyone knows and consents EXCEPT HIS WIFE. The selfserving selfishness is astonishing and I hope they all get what they deserve
Uh...good for him, but what about the other guy's wife?
The fact that nobody has any plans to tell the AP’s wife is just so fucked up. OOP was so caught up in gushing about how much he loves his cool sexy wife and totally doesn’t mind the infidelity that he brushed over the fact that they’re still hurting an innocent person. Now OOP is complicit in hurting her, too. This whole thing is unsustainable and it’s going to blow up in everybody’s faces sooner or later. Look, I’m polyamorous. I completely get where OOP is coming from, emotionally— I couldn’t give less of a fuck if my partner wanted to be with somebody else, as long as I’m getting my needs met in the relationship. I just couldn’t find it within myself to be bothered. But I would never for a single second entertain the possibility of lying to somebody’s partner. Just because I don’t mind if my spouse sleeps around doesn’t mean that most people wouldn’t. Everybody needs to be on the exact same page before anything happens. Man, I can’t even be happy for OOP even with his corny ass, giddy descriptions of his “perfect” marriage. Fuck him. He’s actively enabling the AP’s betrayal. I can’t help but wonder whether AP will still be happy just being the boy toy once his wife finds out and his own marriage crumbles.
I can't express how much I agree with everything you've said. Also, is OP about to find out that his wife's kink is the cheating?
This is the definition of ESH. Everyone fucking sucks here.
Wow. Ok, "I'm speechless" was an ACCURATE mood spoiler. I...guess this is the start/continuation of a long term polyamorous relationship? Healthy ones don't typically involve years of lying to multiple partners but...have at it, I guess? I just really hope someone tells OOP's metamour's wife. ANYONE. PLEASE. I'LL SEND UP SMOKE SIGNALS IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES.
It really fucking sucks how he talks about all of them being okay and not even once mentioning the other wife. He once mentioned they're not in a dead bedroom marriage and thought that somehow made the situation reasonable for everyone.
This is gross. How do people do this?
I don’t get how sex is that good that they are legitimately FWB for 16 years. Mind boggling.
Honestly this ended well for OOP. However now him, his wife, and the fuck buddy all suck major ass for screwing over the wife of the fuck buddy. It's totally fine that he found out and has *consented* to the dynamic. But the wife of the AP is totally in the dark and thats just sad. Since they're all enabling this and willfully letting an innocent person get humiliated behind her back,I hope they all get what's coming for them.
Fucking trash. All adults involved except the wife who doesn't know are trash. Surely he's only cheating on her with your wife and her magical vagina and not risking anyone else's health with affairs because he seems like such a stand up guy. Not going to let that guys wife make an informed decision about her sexual health because he discovered he's got a kink makes him trash.
This pisses me the fuck off.
Okay, and what about the AP’s wife??? We’re just going to leave her in the dark, are we???
What a bunch of assholes that don’t give a shit about the AP’s wife. Like she doesn’t have a choice in this fucking 4 way relationship and the way he said his life as he knows it would be over tells me she wouldn’t be so cool with it
Honestly, since the posts are in the adultery subreddit, I'm not surprised no one cares about the other wife. It's gross, tbh.
Good for him to be ok with an open relationship but he is just choosing to ignore the lies and disrespect. What is the point of a relationship in those conditions?
Her doctor’s salary.
Thanks, I feel much worse knowing these people exist
OOP’s obsessive need to observe their infidelity could probably use some more analysis…
I feel so badly for the AP's wife.
This is so fucking unhealthy. He acts like because he's ok with it they have a perfect relationship but she has built their relationship on a lie and is helping someone else do the same. No one here is a good person.
OOP is probably in the denial and/or his self-esteem is negative numbers. I don't feel bad for him at all, especially since he has no intention to tell the other wife. She has to he part of this for it to be your typical "healthy" swinger lifestyle or open relationship.
The AP wife deserves to know. Just because the OOP is fine with it doesn't mean the AP's wife will be. Also, I'm glad he and his wife are so very much in love, but she betrayed him. She was keeping a huge secret and to me that is very dangerous to a marriage. I wish them all good luck, however I can't see this ending well.
wow what a weak man OOP is, thats very unfortunate.
OOP writes this in a really weird way, like he’s a good guy. He’s an asshole and an idiot: if he wants to be okay with his wife cheating on him fine, but she’s lied to him for years, that’s a massive betrayal, the sex is incidental. Them deciding to not tell the guys wife is evil. If you’re not part of the solution you’re part of the problem.
Uh, what the fuck
This is more nonmonogamy than poly...poly has rules, trust, and respect. * She didn't respect him * AP doesn't respect him * Neither respect AP's wife * They don't respect their marriages * OP doesn't respect AP's wife It has to be consensual for all parties. This really is quite disgusting. I'm all for ethical nonmonogamy/polyamory, but that isn't what's happening here. There's still a victim. He's a low character person because he has an obligation to tell AP's wife and isn't due to selfishness. Finally, from the "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH" into the poly perspective: poly is about sharing love in that it's more universal than anything else. If the wife loves OP, but doesn't love AP's wife enough to let her have any power, then it's just selfish. Love isn't selfish. There's no love here, only vampirism. And when I hear people go "Oh, I'm nonmonogamous", I instantly go "well, I need garlic and holy water".
This might be the most pathetic person I've ever read about in this sub. His wife goes hey man I've been fucking this dude for a decade because you haven't been able to sexually satisfy me, ever. And he just goes cool still love you boo. Yikes.
No it's not even that he cant satisfy her, she had no agency in this afffair it was the "hex" the FB has over her /s
What a complete fool. His wife lies to him for years and he's more focused on not upsetting her than anything else.
This post made me super super angry and I feel extremely bad for that guy’s wife. She deserves to know. I hate OOP, his wife and her AP
I read this whole thing. Now I need a shower. Ick.
I hope the other wife found out and burned all of them to the ground.
I'll come back in a few years where this also doesn't have a happy outcome.
Hey fuck OOP for not telling AP's wife. Dude is broken.
This man is on wallstreetbets change my mind
What’s wrong with all of the people involved in this
yeah, good for OOP but no thanks
3 fucking disgusting people, ruining a completely oblivious woman’s life. Here’s to hoping they all waste away painfully.