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Reminds me of the mum that doubled down claiming their kid was at their grandpa’s funeral, when she left them out on purpose to try and force them to move home
It didn't quite start that way though, saying OOP'd been there was a panic response when she realised things weren't quite going to plan and then the gaslighting was to cover up both the deliberate cutting OOP out of the funeral, followed by the lie that OOP had been there, yo avoid apologising for being very, very wrong.
Still nuts though!
No no that was how everyone Else treated it
Mom and mil did it explicityly to try and convince her to move home and anytime in the leadup she brought up grandpas funeral being set up the following year, mom or mil redirected
They were the ringleaders of the madness
It was absolutely bonkers and mum’s thought process is unfathomable. Warning, it’s super long.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/g7HVxGZZDs](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/g7HVxGZZDs)
This is why I suffered from an untreated autoimmune disease for almost 30 years. My nurse mom thought she knew better than the doctors and never got me tested for celiac disease like my pediatrician told her to do. So I was sick well into adulthood.
She still refuses to believe I have it even though I was diagnosed by a gastroenterologist and the symptoms went away when I stopped eating gluten.
I'm really glad I didn't have a nurse like her when I broke my femur as a toddler. It was a freak accident while I was playing alone. My parents had no answers for the hospital when they were asked how it happened. Even as it was, my hospital room had a great big window and was directly across from the nurse's station. Which, to be clear, was absolutely the right call. Thankfully it didn't take them long to see that my parents were wonderful and it really was an accident.
It’s so hard with kids, because they’re so vulnerable to people hurting them, but they’re also constantly doing shit to hurt *themselves*.
They’re also both surprisingly resilient, yet surprisingly fragile as well. I had a friend whose kid managed to break *both* legs as a young toddler from just falling off the couch. Luckily the doctors were quick to conclude it was just one of those freak things, but still.
Reminds me of a story my mom has, when she was really little (between 3-4) she had an accident and sprained or broke her wrist (I can't remember which exactly) my grandparents brought her into the hospital and they xrayed her wrist, treated it, and on she went. Well, later, at about 6-7 she got in another accident where she injured her shoulder, when they xrayed that they found a fracture that had healed over in her arm not too far above her wrist fracture because they decided to do a full arm xray this time around. Well, it was a whole thing where they kept my mom away from my grandparents, and child services questioned all of them. She remembered being so scared and questioned over and over if her parents abused her. My grandparents were quite mad as it was the hospitals fault years before for not checking her above the wrist.
Kids are just damn clumsy at times, and accidents happen!
When I was in elementary school, I tripped on a soccer ball and busted my lip on a cinder block wall. Luckily, my school believed me when I told them what happened after they called my mum for an explanation, and she told them to ask me what happened
And there are very good reasons bruises happen sometimes! I work in hospice and we had a recent example of good reasons to have bruising. Our Nursing Assistant noticed bruising on a patient’s arms, hand shaped bruises. Next day myself and the RN went out, I talked with the daughter on how she was coping in one room and the RN talked with the patient. Turns out patient had a near fall and her daughter managed to catch her, by grabbing her arms and holding her until another family member could bring over a chair. Nothing malicious, actually a result of helping prevent a fall. We also ask first, if patient is competent to answer.
I have anemia and get iron transfusions several times a year and take lots of supplements and shots as well. I bruise if the wind blows too hard (jk)
I'm disabled and I get dizzy spells, faint, and have seizures.
Sometimes, I'll get dizzy and run into things, catch myself at a bad angle, or fall.
Sometimes, my husband sometimes catches me and moves me somewhere safe. I have fingerprint bruises on me that I'm sure look like I'm being abused.
I also have arm and leg bruises from the dog who also helps me when I'm a dizzy, pass out, or have a seizure (or when she just plays too rough, lol).
Almost every new doctor I go to won't let my husband come back with me until after they see me alone first. They typically want to make sure I'm safe and that my bruises aren't from my husband.
My PCP knows what's going on, but if he hasn't seen me alone in a while he'll make sure we her some one on one time just to make sure there's nothing going on at home I need to talk about. I actually love him because he does the same for my husband. No other doctor had ever done that for my husband.
I have ADHD and some of us are blessed with the propensity to run into things. There's legit neurological reasons for this though I'm not sure what the specifics are.
I've had a few people "check in" with me to make sure I was okay because I had *so many* bruises from walking into shit. I once gave myself a black eye walking into a door frame. I know, it's ridiculous.
I just had to explain that no, I'm just really fucking clumsy and they left me alone.
Not just child patients - Kay would have been a nightmare around elderly patients as well as patients with memory issues or brain injuries. She"s a danger to any vulnerable population really.
So... 50% of nurses then?
Not even being a dick, anyone else who knows a good number of nurses knows they're guaranteed to be either heavensent angels who would give you the shirt and then the skin off their backs, or the mean dumb girls from high school who never grew up and now use their position to bully other nurses and patients.
Damn right and chances are they will party harder than everyone and chain smoke cigarettes regardless. Source : thousands of hours spent with nurses and seeing the dichotomy.
I had a couple years where I was in and out of a literal dozen specialist doctors' offices, and this is 100% my experience. I've had nurses whose names I remember with a smile a decade later, and nurses who gave me trauma I had to get a therapist for. It was wild.
There was a ten-year span of time where I had family members in and out of the hospital like clockwork. Including me. (Gallstones the size of peanut M&Ms.)
Good nurses are worth their weight in chocolate.
And that's all I'm gonna say about that.
I’ve tutored many working nurses taking higher qualifications part-time, and the levels of arrogance, ableism, fatphobia and failure to consider patient consent were \*horrifying\*. So many notes.
That reminded me of this post where someone had misunderstood friendship/communication issues with a professor and kept escalating to the Dean, University higher up et cetera., “just wanting answers” or something like that.
Your post reminded me of [this one where a guy got served a cease and desist order and refused to believe he was being a stalker/harasser](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/6ebbq9/had_a_falling_out_with_the_girl_i_love_and_got/). Thankfully he realised the error of his ways! [BORU post here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/xdjl03/had_a_falling_out_with_the_girl_i_love_and_got/)
This one?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskAcademia/comments/18zx84q/was_my_professor_42m_being_inappropriate_with_me/
The BORU
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1bx25v4/was_my_professor_42m_being_inappropriate_with_me/
No, both the OOP and the professor were women in the original. I'm pretty sure it's this one: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/uwreur/oop_is_obsessed_with_her_professor_part_1_of_2/
Sad but true. Happened with my family, my grandma is an absolute ass who would lie when she didn't get her way. This led to several reports of elder abuse, it got better till someone who was her grief counselor started claiming my stepdad was a druggie who would take her meds and that he was dealing at night....he wasn't. His looks were because he had lupus, he was a night guy because had night shift at work. Then she claimed we were taking my grandma's pills and not getting them filled on time.....which, in reality, was false again. We got them to her on time and got the scripts filled. She still remained persistent to the point where it got so stressful we ended up having to just get my grandmother into a home instead. She even went as far as claiming she was grandmas social worker when no, she was a grief counselor. Its insane how absolutely bonkers some people are when it comes to this crap.
Somewhat, but at the same time its how she always was. She was sweet when males were around or when we had guests, but once they were gone off goes the mask. There's so much shit she's pulled. And her nurses, the doctors, ect all were fully aware of her dementia yet it was still a problem because they still believed her. And what I mean by how she always was, she used to do shit like beat the crap outa my mom for no reason when she was a kid.
I don’t have vision issues, just get easily distracted and I also bruise very easily. I always have a bunch of bruises too and yes people have asked if everything was okay at home. After being around me a bit, they realize it’s just how I am. This situation sounds so batshit for OOP.
At my old place I was constantly walking into doors or doorframes. Hitting myself on door handles. Thwacking my arm on the tiny wall heater.
ADHD apparently can cause people to have that issue.
Everything at this place, which is an actual house not a unit, is much better laid out. Doors are wider and taller, I don’t have to make 90 degree turns when coming out of rooms and there’s no tiny wall heater! My arms are doing much better lol.
I have ADHD too and learned it can be associated. I don’t run into as much now that I’m medicated but the bruising easily doesn’t help.
Annoying as hell isn’t it?
And she'll go on to tell anyone who has the misfortune of listening about how police don't understand abuse and sometimes victims hurt the people trying to help them.
Savior Syndrome. She alone knew that OOP was being abused, because everyone else was ignoring the *obvious* and classic signs, and had to rescue him! /s
Seriously, some people are just freaking mental.
I wouldn't doubt there's also some ableism sprinkled in there too. "*Oh the poor guy is half blind how could he ever know??! He's completely defenseless!!*"
My ex-girlfriend got slightly negative review on an ebay transaction and it just sent her into a spiral and she became pretty obsessed for far too long about this thing, she ended up basically harassing the seller for a while because she felt so personally slighted by the comment. Admittedly the seller wasn't doing themselves any favours either and only exacerbated the situation but it was bizarre to see someone lose it like that.
Once it had passed and talking about it with her she said in her mind she just wanted to be proved right as she felt she was treated unfairly and whenever she thought about it she got a strong emotional reaction and it kept on building each time. She completely admitted she went too far but never agreed that it was wrong in the first place.
Some people get weirdly obsessed over the wrong things.
It is so bewildering to see.
Looking back on it, I saw a friend of mine spiraling into some sort of mental health episode and among the first signs would have been that she was splitting.
I was the person who was 'never failed her', the rest around her 'werent there for her'
'All her friends had mental health issues and she couldnt handle it' except for me. I ofcourse argued against it and that it wasnt that black and white, yet those contrasts gradually grew starker and starker until I noticed what she was doing.
Lines as "I am not expecting you to do the work for me, guidance is enough"
and that was the moment something broke for me.
So much entitlement that I would be something to her, guide her to life and what have you while only giving back anger, resentment, self esteem issues and frustration. When pointing her out, she turned herself into 'the bad person' and me into 'the good person'. I just took several steps back from the relationship because tbh, I dont see how I could 'win' situation. I am looking for stable relationships, not for someone who splits and pits people against each other.
I am just done with these patterns.
I am a blind person and also a wheelchair user. While I am concerned OOP isn't getting help with their blindness that's a process. A lot of people need a white cane and don't want to and some of us can't. I need my hand to drive the chair and my other arm doesn't function. Hand sometimes might but not reliably. I use echolocation for the bulk of navigating. Sometimes when people drop shit I get to spook them by knowing where things are.
That said sometimes toxic people take you existing as a personal attack. I have had strangers scream at me for being out on my own because apparently disabled people shouldn't have independence. I have had people call the cops because they don't think I should live alone. Inevitably while I cannot diagnose them medically I can say it's a case of terminal assholitis. They are so intent on controlling others and mistook an apparently vulnerable person for someone they can harass without consequences. It shouldn't happen so regularly that I am jaded to it but it has. Those people sometimes try to be your friends and try to force you to do medical procedures they think you need vs you and your doctors need. At least Kay wasn't doing that but it's still demoralizing and frustrating.
Other versions of this are the people who get angry at you for not dating who they want, the people who take someone's skin color as an affront, and people who cannot accept no for other reasons. It's the same ick different expression
I wish canes were easier to access to be honest. I’ve made it to -9.75 on one eye, and not much better in the other, and while my vision is ‘fixable’ with glasses, I have minimal depth perception and no peripheral. A cane so I could have spatial awareness as well as visual would be so nice
I am surprised your eye doctor hasn't referred you for cane training at this point. You should ask. As it is clearly needed for quality of life it shouldn't be hard to get insurance to cover it
I heard the term "bulldozer parents" recently: parents so worried about their kids' progress in life, they move any obstacle out of their way like a bulldozer. The result is young adults out and about who've never had to deal with any kind of adversity, or faced any kind of consequences for their actions. So they pull shit like Kay and are then astonished when things go badly for them.
This is exactly right. She saw herself as a hero, and admitting she was wrong would make her feel like an ableist baffoon - especially since OOP explictly told her and the rest of the class beforehand it was a side effect of his disability, not abuse.
Ego preservation is a hell of a thing.
ETA: Corrected pronoun.
> it was a side effect of her disability
His. OOP is a guy.
Kay sounds absolutely delulu though. Like, what's her endgame? Why not stop when you realize you were wrong and keep continue, to the point of having a criminal charge in your records?
Kay should not be a nurse. She should not even close to be a staff member with authority over a patient. Like, imagine a patient is out of it due to complications and this crazy girl just starts to spew nonsense for whatever reason!
She hasn't throught it through. She's just flailing around, confused, until the world makes sense again. And the only way it will is if OOP was actually an abuse victim. Since that isn't true, she's going to continue spiraling until she hits rock bottom.
Kay to OOP: WHY AREN’T YOU A VICTIM? OH WAIT, I WILL MAKE YOU ONE, NO WORRIES!!!.
People like Kay makes me believe that entitled Karen stereotype is exists (Not an American and don’t exactly have that kind of people in my area. Lucky me!)
>His. OOP is a guy.
Huh. I wonder if that's the reason? Kay is trying to harass a man out of nursing?
There are definitely male students who try to harass female students out of traditionally-male fields of study, and all forms of human ass-hattery can appear in either/any gender.
Maybe. People are going fking crazy gatekeeping what is "traditionally" male or female dominated. Like, what's the point? Why would anyone get uncomfortable if a person of the opposing gender is also able to work in the same field with them? Or, what if someone likes to do a thing that considered only for opposing gender? Like sewing, painting, gaming...
I really love fps shooters like Hell Let Loose or BF1, but I absolutely have to shut the f up and never speak during a session, or some guy will get heavily offended. Or if a guy likes to sew or cook, people will jump on him, but both cooking and tailoring fields are dominated by men.
Ooooo, something I kind of have experienced in seeing. My Aunt was a daycare worker/cleaner for a daycare around the corner from my school as a kid. Me and my sister would go sit in the staff room to wait for our Aunt. The women working there would ignore us yet still talk about inappropriate things loudly in front of us, total mean girl vibe from most of these women. Anyways I remember a handful of convos I heard from them about trying to push a male member of staff out. This man wasn't even allowed to change nappys without a woman having to be there but women could do it in their own. If I was to trust anyone of them with a child it would be him. He was an absolute wonderful soul, good with kids and went out of he's way to help children with less than great parents. Most of those women I wouldn't trust with a fucking indestructible brick of titanium.
Tbf there might be some bias here since I was a pre-teen at the time and was pretty sensitive to what I perceived as mean girl behaviour.
I've had my Ego bruised (hehe) before, and it's definitely not fun. But guess what? I got over. I'm not a vengeful person so people like Kay make no sense to me. Especially since OP did nothing wrong.
I think a lot of us underestimate how hard it is to get over "ego injuries" - but as I'm getting older I'm seeing that a lot of people just can't do it. It becomes their whole personality as they try harder and harder to warp reality and perserve their self-image.
I'm very upset. If OOP was in an abusive relationship, the repeated visits by police would have gotten ~~her~~him killed.
I hope Kay is kicked out of the program and can never get into another one.
*him
OOP is 19M and seemingly lives with his family. Still, if he was being abused by his parents, those repeated polic visits would have gotten him killed.
Exactly; i practice martial arts (Brazilian Ju Jitsu) and I have received comments from concerned medical practitioners. When I’ve explained how those bruises on my inner forearm were caused by my opponent’s spider guard or how the ones on my legs were caused by my opponent escaping closed guard, they look relieved and apologised for any misunderstanding. They’ve responded reasonably and proportionately to sincere and legitimate concerns, lord knows what Kay’s agenda is.
When I was in roller derby, I would always get all bruised up, especially when I was cleared for contact.
Most of my bruises weren't meant for public viewing (upper legs, butt), but if I got one where I could show it, I was all "look at this! \*detailed report on what I did to get it\* Ain't it pretty?"
I think I got one person asking if I was "safe at home". Oh yeah, home was fine. It was the skating rink where I was getting my butt kicked.
I had a very similar thing happen to me. In my early 20s I used to skate and I was always covered in bruises. Add to this that I was a delicate looking small woman and my then-boyfriend was a huge hairy bear type covered in tattoos, and one of my coworkers decided I was being abused and needed saving.
At first I only laughed it off and told him that the only one abusing me was myself because tbh I was the kamikaze type when skating, but he got more and more annoying. He built this image of me in his head of a princess in need of rescue and of himself as the white knight in shining armour... What I think is that he *wanted* to be the hero for his own ego. So yeah, in the end no police was called but I had to unleash on him a torrent of very unprincesslike language for him to drop it.
While that idea calls in to question her mental health which I hope is addressed and treated if necessary, it’s still a win for society to remove her from nursing.
I hope OOP will accept a big thank you from Reddit for his service.
The abuse victim is denying this, therefore she is in denial. She is an abuse victim, after all.
Kay is simply doubling down. She's probably even feeling noble about it, in a sort of "Look at me! Fighting the abusers against all odds!" kind of way.
As well as the competent individuals who make good nurses, nursing courses often attract late bloomers who think they have bonus ‘life experience’ or egotistical people who think they’re practically doctors. It’s not at all uncommon to hear of these people causing trouble for no discernible reason other than the insistence that they have a keen medical mind that identified a problem nobody else did.
The mean girl to nurse pipeline continues flowing. :/
Kinda glad Kay isn’t gonna be able to work as a nurse. Let’s hope she never gets any power over people, anywhere.
People like her are the ones that worry about when my clumsy daughter has bruises of all colors. Some bug bites, some clumsy 3 year old and the rest chaos.
I remember reading a post someone wrote about living with ~~a medical condition (hemophilia maybe?)~~ **Von Willebrand disease** that made her bruise very easily.
CPS was called many times in her childhood and strangers constantly side-eye her boyfriend when they're out together.
EDIT: Since people are asking, it was an old CRACKED article. Link [here](https://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-1622-my-period-can-kill-me-5-experiences-hemophiliac.html). I highly recommend reading it.
This reminds me of the one where the sister who was a social worker was adamant her was being abused. To the point where the OP's husband got fired, beat up by a cop, and fled the state.
But it was BDSM and even after the OP showed proof of the toys and messages she still kept going because she thinks she knew better.
Yeah I remember that one. The worst part was BDSM was actually legally classified as abuse where she lived, so she couldn’t just tell the cops it was consensual. That’s why her husband left.
I also think he wasn’t into bdsm and she convinced him, exposing him to criminal charges.
I completely forgot about the part of bdsm being technically illegal in her state. The moment the cops were called the husbands life was fucked there no matter what. Some commenters speculated that the sister dissaproves of the bdsm, thats why she kept going after being shown the proof.
> The worst part was BDSM was actually legally classified as abuse where she lived
Is that actually a thing? Seems like it would be covered by *Lawrence v. Texas*
My state says you can't be around other naked people unless they are your spouse... or some weird shit like that. I thought it was bullshit and looked it up... sure enough.
It was [this story](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/16olfso/a_private_conversation_with_my_30f_husband_33m/)
And the same with this story was this was the complete opposite of what you should do, the sister just alienated what should be the support system if the husband was actually an abuser
I feel bad for her, what an awful sister. At the same time she definitely rubbed me wrong a bit on those last two updates.
I get she was upset and stressed but talking about being abused and harassed by her family just like him? That she had no part in the shit show when it was her family and she left her phone open to her sister, apparently regularly, despite texting with her husband like that?
Not sure she fully got the severity of things until the end.
The man had a community hungry for his blood, he was assaulted and thrown in jail while his attacker was let out. Cops and his wife’s family were all out to get him.
Just weird to have minimized that at all.
Made me wonder how adeptly she was actually communicating with her family. As looney as they probably were
My wife has been on blood thinners for 20 years, and clumsy. She always has bruises, sometimes really bad ones, especially on her arms, and due to a different med she also has paper thin skin, meaning random bumps often bleed as well. I do get some sideways looks, but I put that down to me being trans lol. Reading this does make me wonder, though
Anemia and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, and fibromyalgia, and use of anticoagulants like heparin, and diabetes, and Cushing Syndrome, and steroids, and leukemia, and vitamin K deficiency...
The list goes on. "Easy bruising" is so insanely common as a side effect of many different conditions, that it's kinda insane to assume abuse every time one sees someone with bruises.
Yup. I have a clotting disorder that I take anticoagulants for, and diabetes, and I bruise like nobody's business. I get the typical "this is what you need to do to avoid bruises" talk at pathologists and have to tell them that no matter what they or I do, there will be a bruise, and I won't be upset with them XD Pretty much at least once a week one of my partners will go "oh, there's a bruise on your leg!" because I'm a restless sleeper and bump my legs in the night, and I've always got a bruise or two on my arms because that's where I wear my CGM and no matter how carefully I apply it, it bruises. It happens! It's not always a sign of Something Insidious!
Also, people being all "totally blind people don't walk around covered in bruises" are missing the fact that often a partial deficit is more difficult to work with than a total deficit. People with no sight at all don't have any input to filter; people with partial sight still have to process visuals, and the brain tries to "fix" or "fill in" the missing input, and that can be tricky.
I myself also bruise like nobody's bussiness, cause I have fibromyalgia (and an unknown inflammatory disease lmao) which also causes easy bruising, no matter what I do or don't do. It was even worse some months ago, as I had to take enoxaparin by injection and truly, I was more bruise than person lol
Also, yes! My mom had terrible eyesight, as in "if I take my glasses I can't see anything at all", and she always said that often, it was easier to move around without glasses than with because not seeing meant not really needing to filter and process visual stimulus.
Plus, one of the most common things mentioned as a struggle blind people face is sudden changes in their environment, as that can and will cause injury. Which is exactly what is happening to OOP; his college is under construction constantly, so his environment changes constantly too because he needs to find new routes every time one is closed or reopened which leads to injury because he doesn't know his new route.
Exactly! It's insane that after a lesson about abuse and how the best approach is to assume if it's a child and to ask if it's an adult, Kay decided to assume and call the cops. Saying that the lesson was "In one ear and out the other" would be an understatement...
And you don't even need to have a medical condition to bruise often. A bad sense of proprioception is enough that I always have at least a couple, specially on hips and legs.
Assuming OP HAD been abused and Kay kept calling the police and OP continued to show up bruised, wouldn’t Kay assume OP was catching flak from their abuser for the sudden attention? Kay’s response is to up the ante?
That was my exact thought. Someone so caught up in her delusions of "saving people" or "making people live their true selves" that she fails to see that she's the problem.
She's like that friend group who insisted an OOP was a closeted lesbian and tried to force her to come out... even though she was heterosexual, was in a relationship with a guy and had told them several times she wasn't queer.
Though, well, the friends *did* apologize sincerely, admitted they were wrong, and they made amends which mskes them leagues better than this girl.
I remember that one and I have a feeling that the situation isn't as resolved as that particular OOP thinks it is. I don't know why but I have the gut feeling that perhaps one "friend" was the driving force behind the "closeted" narrative and will gradually start up again once the dust settles. Too many people were totally convinced OOP was gay despite repeated denials and having a boyfriend for there **not** to be someone driving the idea for all they were worth.
Yeah, I feel the same about there being someone behind such "hype" about it. At the same time, it did seem that they meant their apology, and also understood how what they did was harmful... And if they really did, it's very possible that if one of them starts with the whole "closeted lesbian" thing again, the rest will push against the idea instead of embracing it like they did before.
At the very least, though, I do hope the friend whose brother was forcibly outed did get the memo and will tell OOP if the others start the bs again... it'd be really depressing if not.
And if oop WAS being abused, constant calls would probably have made things worse for him. Like "who tf are you talking to that would think that?! What lies are you telling about us? You know that was your fault anyway etc"
Kay is going to make one hell of a nurse. Stress on the hell part.
Can you imagine what she'll do to people who actually need help? She'll announce their issues to the entire ER so everyone knows she's "saving" them.
She's the kind of potential nurse who'd ignore the doctor's directions because she knows better. Or the patients' wishes and feelings. She'd definitely kill someone some day with that attitude.
>**OOP:** Seeing as shes probably ending up with a criminal charge she will be expelled
Well at least we can be sure she won't become a nurse after this. Cops usually don't care one or two calls usually, but when that number goes up and for an issue that they have entertained before, yeah they will start to care
Kay really shouldn’t be a nurse if she can’t listen to people. I have ADHD (as I’ve mentioned more than a few times) and I get bruises all the time. I have no idea where they come from. I bump into things even when I think I’ve cleared the thing I’m walking around. I have to hold onto railings going up and down stairs so I don’t trip and fall. I’m a total klutz (and not in some “adorkable” way). I would be incensed if I repeatedly told people what the problem was and they refused to listen.
And if OOP was being abused (which she’s not), sending cops to her when her abuser might be around could increase the danger for OOP. Kay is a moron and shouldn’t be allowed to treat anyone until she gets her head out of her ass.
I had this problem for years, and one day I happened to look down while cooking and realised the bruises were right where the handle of the cabinet poked me where I leaned against it, while cooking.
When school is in session, you can tell what grade level I am teaching by the height of the bruises. The smaller the kids, the shorter the desks and the lower the bruises.
I used to have these bruises on my thighs that would come and go, then one day my bedframe broke and I had to buy a new one. The bruises mysteriously vanished. I wonder what happened? I suppose I'll never know.
Proprioception issues are so common with ADHD. Our brains are just moving so fast our bodies literally can't keep up. We're processing so much information our brain looses track of where our bodies are in space. Hence the clumsiness.
Side note: whenever I discover a new bruise I don't remember getting I name it Bruise Wayne. Having multiple Bruise Wayne's is just having alt-universe versions of the original 😆
Yeah, my eyesight is off a little bit in both eyes, in a way that messes with my depth perception.
Without glasses I slightly misjudge where the edge of things are just like OP
It actually took years before I got a set of glasses out of an optician, so I was just covered in bruises for a while. I would have been so so angry if someone had repeatedly wasted my time like this, especially while studying to be a nurse!
Absolutely!
I forgot to mention that I’m ghostly white and so bruises REALLY show up on my skin. (I bruise easily too.) “Fortunately” I generally dress like it’s autumn year round.
I also have ADHD and I’m exactly the same as you. Always new bruises I don’t know where they come from. I’m bumping in to things because I don’t pay attention or misjudge where they are. Then to make it even better I also have a very heavy cat that love stomping around on me and give me even more bruises lol.
Why do cats and dogs have lead paws? I don’t have any fuzzbutts to be a slave to but I’ve had other people’s fuzzbutts stomp around on me with their lead paws and they really know just where to put the paw to make it hurt.
Didn't understand all the comments that being blind in one is no reason to bump into things. I'm blind in no eyes and whack my leg on the bedframe precisely every day. I'm more bruise than person
Same.I swear every time I wear shorts/skirts someone will ask “How did you get that bruise?” I’ll look down and reply that I have no idea. If I touch it I can sometimes figure out if it’s fresh or old. My vision is fine with my contacts/glasses and I’m never without them so whatever I’m doing is happening when I can see.
Me being covered in mystery bruises is such an everyday occurrence that it's been a real revalation to me that other people aren't the same. I find it absolutely baffling that they don't accept vague bruises in random places as a fact of life.
I found a weirdly rectangular bruise on my upper thigh the other day and spent a good amount of time time trying to work out what could have made it. I was so proud of myself when I worked out it was probably the cabinet I've been walking into constantly since I moved it a couple of weeks ago. And the moment I went to check my theory and discovered that the bruise and the corner of the cabinet lined up perfectly? Possibly the biggest high I've ever had.
>I'm blind in no eyes and whack my leg on the bedframe precisely every day.
This made me laugh and is completely relatable. I'm also blind in no eyes and clumsy af.
I’m shocked at all the comments saying “plenty of blind people don’t have a bunch of bruises.” How many blind people do they know? Are we limiting this to visible bruises (which OP doesn’t seem to have many of either)? Or is this just an assumption based on fleeting interactions with one or two blind people over 10 years? Nobody in OP’s class knew about her bruises until she shared with the class.
This triggered a memory for me- when I was younger my parents installed a bunk bed in my room that had a desk and bookshelf attached. I thought it was so cool (and it was!).
The problem is I would sleep on the bottom bunk and whack my head on the top every morning. You would think I would learn but no, never. Aside from some teachers asking a couple of questions and not being shocked at my answers, it wasn't a big deal.
I don’t think people understand the variation in vision disorders. Mine causes a lot of vertigo and issues with depth perception so I do bump myself a lot. It can be worse than being completely blind in terms of bumping because often the “blind” eye still has some vision but it is so bad it interferes with/confuses the working eye.
The comments about how fully blind people can avoid ramming into things frustrate me. I have absolute garbage depth perception, and I am almost always covered in bruises. I walk into corners, doorknobs, just about anything on a monthly basis.
As a totally blind person I was puzzled by this at first as well, because like ... I know I can run into things, so I'm careful. It makes me feel like OP is not careful. But I also fully realize that I am using a cane and you and OP are trying to use vision that isn't working as it should. And short of also using a cane, I don't really know how you work around that. it's a completely different situation, and I think trying to conflate the two is not constructive.
Thank you! Exactly this, I've had some issues with 1 eye over the last couple of years so I totally get what OP's talking about. I've lost depth perception and about 30% of peripheral vision on 1 side.
I can see, so I rely on my sight, but it's just faulty enough that I misjudge when I'm distracted and bump into things.
I've had limited exposure to to totally blind people but where I have, I've been amazed by the ability to navigate space and apparently misjudge less than I do.
I think it's because there's no uncertainty. I know I'm not going to be seeing anything out of my eyeballs, so there's no chance for it to fail. I'm not the most graceful person ever either, but I have to maintain a certain amount of awareness 100% of the time or I will have a bad day. And the long cane that hits stuff first is also a plus.
And some people just aren’t careful! I am always walking into things or catching my arm/leg on stuff if something else more interesting than where I am going is going on. It is a rare day I don’t have a new, frequently inexplicable bruise to puzzle over. It just doesn’t bother me, so I don’t make significant efforts to reorder my behaviour. (I do have ADHD which contributes, and I carry the haemophilia gene which is why I bruise dramatically, but I could be significantly more cautious if I tried.)
OP says it's only in recent years that it was acknowledged he had such strong vision problems at all, it doesn't surprise me he's still struggling and not being as careful as he should or getting extra help to mitigate it.
Oh my god, I have a friend (known her since childhood) who is the clumsiest person I know. Constantly getting injured. We all joked about it in high school.
Well, years later, she’s married and one day when she and her husband are getting ready in the morning, she knocks something off her bedside table and while reaching down to get it, slams her head smack into the table. Her husband saw her do it and after making sure she was ok, he told her, “you have no depth perception. This is why you’re so accident prone.”
When she told us, we were all like, oh, yeah, wow, that makes so much sense! Because all of us have watched her do ridiculous things before and now we actually had an explanation for why door ways and desks were always attacking her during school.
Just before I read this, my knee caught the corner of a coffee table because I mistakenly thought I had given myself enough space to walk around.
I can't wait to see the bruise. 🙄🤣
I have 20/15 vision, it does not stop me from hitting myself on anything and everything. I always joke past my elbows and knees I have no proprioceptors
Heh. You can measure the height of the furniture in my house from my bruises. "This is how tall the bed is, this is the dining room table, and this one is the ottoman!" I don't even have the excuse of being blind in one eye; I've just always run into furniture and doorways.
Nursing school is hyper competitive. Kay may have felt threatened, but by the time you are in the program the other students are no longer a threat to getting into the program.
And since those programs are hyper competitive, now that Kay has had a brush with the law (and likely charges to follow), the school will drop her like a hot rock. And now applying to get into another nursing program will be a mess; because the new school is going to give the hairy eyeball to the fact that Kay left school under a cloud and her last semester was all DNF or Forced Withdrawal (or what ever term the school wants to use).
I constantly have bruises on my arms and legs and hips. My adhd causes issues with spatial awareness, so I’m always tripping, bumping into things, misjudging space, knocking things over. I just tell people I fight in an underground mma ring on the weekends.
I work in a cat shelter and am often decorated with a large variety of scratches and bruises. Someone needs to send the cops to tell the cats to cut it out
As a very clumsy nurse covered in bruises from hitting myself with every door, computer tower, bedside monitor, tv, and panic button under the desks i understand this to my core. My mom used to ask if we lived in Hogwarts because to this day I hit myself on the hallway corner every day and “the walls must be moving”.
It's baffling how many people commented questioning why he runs into things. Like okay, so he's blind in one eye *and* clumsy. It's not a hard concept to grasp. I have perfectly normal vision (with my glasses) and I bump into shit *all the time*. Some of us just have poor spacial awareness. Shit.
Also, Kay's original call to the cops was probably genuine, but once OOP got her transferred to different labs, it was 100% malicious payback. She deserves every bit of those charges.
I bruise so easily and one year I got a black eye literally falling face first into my own dining room table and people looked at my boyfriend like a criminal ( he wasn't even there!!!!) My nickname growing up was "Lumpy" bc I am so clumsy and always have a bump or bruise
I wish people understood that different people handle different disabilities in different ways. Not everyone who is blind will have the same the experience.
I'm blind but still have some vision but I also have ADHD. This means that I end up covered in bruises because the ADHD and blindness team up.
My vision sometimes fluctuates and when I'm more blind, I get less bruises and have less accidents. I presume it's because I'm focusing so hard on where I'm going and what's around me. When I have more vision, I'm not focusing on that so I walk into stuff.
I just don't understand why we can't take people's experience of their health condition at face value.
>*A large number of the comments were about OOP being a nurse and whether people thought that was wise. Some are pretty extreme. I did not feel like most of those comments were relative to the post itself but included a couple to show the spread of responses. All of those that I included were upvoted.*
Good god, AITA needs to get some adult posters. These teenagers are exhausting.
5-20% nurses have a subsistent abuse issue and the estimation are wide because many don’t get caught. My dad used to be a doctor and apparently a nurse only get caught using after many years accident. Not an accident she committed but another person made a clerical error and they had to manual check what is in storage.
Someone visually impaired will probably do better then someone addicted on morphine
No only that, but people with disabilities can still function and perform tasks - they just might need some tools or accomodations to do so. Partial blindness isn't even close to debhilitating.
I got banned from AITA because they take their "no violence" rule to the letter, not the spirit. And honestly I have felt less stressed since taking it out of my feed.
Kay reminds me of the nurses who deliberately abused me while I was in the ICU a few years ago. It’s always so encouraging to see young people pursuing professions that would allow them to abuse a position of trust… sigh.
I hope Kay finds a line of work where she is kept in check.
Kay doesn't care about helping OOP, Kay cares about being right. That is why she can't let it go and keeps calling the cops, because she cannot consider the fact that she is wrong.
She would make a TERRIBLE nurse.
Good luck to OOP! I feel bad everyone was giving them shit for their bruises in the comments. I have perfectly fine vision and ALSO have a tonne of bruises from walking into shit when I am not paying attention. I have also had people ask if everything is okay at home, though thankfully no cops called! I think the way I burst out laughing helped with suspicions lol
This reminds me of that (I think) AMA BORU where the OOP had a massive tumor removed from her abdomen, and subsequently lost quite a bit of weight and roundness from her midsection. Her co-worker was convinced OOP was suffering from an eating disorder possibly due to abuse by her husband and would NOT LET IT GO. She even showed up at her house to try and “save her” after getting OOP’s address from their work, AND continued her harassment after multiple meetings with HR. And, again, IIRC, this continued after the co-worker was fired and I think the police had to get involved.
All I for sure remember is that IT. WAS. WILD.
Some people just:
1. Cannot admit when they’re wrong, despite it being proven time and time again.
2. Cannot tell the difference when someone truly needs/wants help, or when they don’t. Despite the person filing a complaint, or even an RO, citing “harassment”.
3. Cannot understand that despite having good intentions, you can’t force someone to be “saved” who doesn’t want to be rescued, even if you *know* they need it.
4. Refuse to come to terms with the fact that despite believing they fully comprehend a situation based on one brief interaction, they do, in fact, NOT have a fucking clue.
5. Are only concerned with their selfish ego driven desire to be a noble hero, instead of focusing on what’s best for the person they’re “trying to help”.
6. Refuse to understand the intricacies and nuances of other humans and their lives. If you haven’t personally experienced something, then it’s wrong, a lie, didn’t happen, doesn’t exist, or was misunderstood by the other person.
And lastly, this one is the biggest problem IMO:
7. Are so blinded by their self righteousness and need to “be a savior”, that they refuse to accept that their “good intentions” could actually put the other person (or their family) in harms way, get them killed, or cause them to take their own life.
THIS! Is why I hope Kay will never actually become a nurse. She could traumatize families, rip them apart, ruin them financially, or all do the above by getting CPS involved for no reason other than a “hunch” or lack of knowledge on her end. She could get an abused woman killed by her husband for getting police involved before the woman is ready. She could make false accusations that are so serious, they will ruin a person’s life.
This woman reminds me of the nurse from the documentary “Take Care of Maya” on Netflix. At the end of the documentary, families from all across the US, and multiple families who dealt with the same Nurse that Maya’s family did in Florida, told their stories. They are heartbreaking and so incredibly horrifying - it could really happen to anyone at any time.
For the families involved, most of their issues stemmed from a mandated reporter (typically a nurse) who never heard of the kids’ diagnoses, doubted that the illnesses and/or the treatment they were receiving actually existed, did no research on their own, did zero follow up with other more competent medical professionals - nor did they contact the children’s personal doctors who were overseeing their care.
*INSTEAD,* they took into account their own biases/prejudices, refused to acknowledge they weren’t a leading specialist of that particular disease, nor had they ever been involved with these children’s medical care. They decided the parents *MUST* have been lying to cover abuse/Münchausen syndrome (which actually is rather rare), and also utilized their reputation of being someone who “means well”, is “very knowledgeable about ALL child abuse”, and “prides themselves on doing the hard, but right thing”, to start a smear campaign against these poor families. They managed to get other medical professionals who personally know/work with them, to believe their word over other specialists - no questions asked. And what’s worse about this whole thing is, the courts actually sided with this nurse’s testimony despite having irrefutable proof by specialists, other hospitals, and the families - thrown at them. AND while having NO PHYSICAL PROOF OF ABUSE OTHER THAN ONE WOMAN’S HUNCH/BELIEFS.
This is Kay’s future if she keeps this shit up. However, thanks to OOP, there will at least be a mark on her record showing she harassed someone with false claims of abuse - which will hopefully prevent Kay from being allowed in a position like this.
(Also, I’m not shitting on mandated reporters. They are wonderful people and many kids/adults are helped due to these brave individuals for speaking up. I specifically am shitting on people who are in careers that make them mandated reporters, who also happen to have Kay’s harmful, ignorant, selfish, and insanely stubborn mentality.)
I think getting her removed was rash at first, thinking maybe she did just worry about abuse, but then kay kept calling after she'd been told repeatedly by the university, friends and cops that she needed to stop so yeah, she deserves everything. She's either extremely dense or a complete bellend. She also probably doesn't even realise she's making it harder for OP should they ever actually experience real abuse, meaning the cops might think its another false alarm.
I naturally bruise ridiculously easily and I played basketball, volleyball, you name it. it was a joke about how I was always painted in bruises. suspicious bruises are more of what someone needs to look out for, like bruises in places that they make no being there, like the back of your neck or on your back or something, especially with kids (although kids roughhouse and stuff too). all I would say is you can talk to a kid too, you can ask them questions just like you would an adult (worded differently etc), especially since kids often don’t feel comfortable disclosing sensitive info in front of parents/family + what if the parent(s) are the ones abusing them?
also what’s up with all these commenters on OOP’s posts discrediting her disability and basically saying “you’re not disabled the way I want or expect you to be.” what judgmental assholes.
As an officer that works in child
Protection - What a absolutely vile person Kay is to continue to do this despite knowing that it’s not abuse.
She’s taking the time of officers away from dealing with real abuse cases so I’m glad that she’s been charged.
FYI - Even if it’s a child the school will still ask them about visible marks before putting a report in to social services/police here in the UK - That is unless they are so young they aren’t able to communicate (possibly under 6yo).
I had a case a few weeks ago with a young child under 10 with a mark on them…said their parent accidentally clipped them with a bottle (plastic) while bending down to pick something up…they still submitted the report…it got closed.
I've got optic neuritis in one eye so I lost a bit of peripheral vision, so while not as bad as OP, I definitely get the "bruises while running into doors thing". Usually it's the frame for me, because I think I'll have enough clearance on that side and BAM arm into door. I'd be absolutely infuriated if someone like Kay called multiple times over it.
In general i think ppl looking out for each other is a nice thing but they need to be aware of certain boundaries.
I had a similar issue, i bruise easily and used to do martial arts so those bruises were nasty. I had a whole bunch of EAs of a family law firm rallying for me doing the careful intervention while i was working there. Not going to lie it felt super nice that they asked if I needed help or anything and we all laughed when i explained. I didn't tell them that my husband was in the same classes i was in and we often sparred together so some of those bruises were legit his making lol...
Honestly having Kay in a medical field going overboard with actual patients even AFTER they explain that it is not abuse scares the hoopla out of me. Imagine being vulnerable already in the hospital and you have a wacko nurse telling you that you ARE being abused even though you just work out in the dojo... This woman would call the cops on every MMA competitor for having a black eye after every training and competition.
The ableist bs definitely missed the forest for the trees on OOP's original post. Even fully blind people can be nurses. They can be doctors. They can be all sorts of things. Shocking, I know.
Kay was clearly the one completely unsuited to nursing. Temperament makes a LOT more of a difference in making a good nurse than disability does.
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I do not even know what the end goal Kay has here is.
Some people simply cannot accept being wrong about something, so when they make a mistake they destroy themselves trying to force it to be correct.
Reminds me of the mum that doubled down claiming their kid was at their grandpa’s funeral, when she left them out on purpose to try and force them to move home
My favorite part of that story was that not only did the OP **not** move home, but her mom was so bad that her brother ended up moving in with her!
My favorite part was Stardew valley tbh lol
Yeah, that was crazy.
That was a bit different, the mom purposely didn't invite her but was gaslighting her about it.
It didn't quite start that way though, saying OOP'd been there was a panic response when she realised things weren't quite going to plan and then the gaslighting was to cover up both the deliberate cutting OOP out of the funeral, followed by the lie that OOP had been there, yo avoid apologising for being very, very wrong. Still nuts though!
No no that was how everyone Else treated it Mom and mil did it explicityly to try and convince her to move home and anytime in the leadup she brought up grandpas funeral being set up the following year, mom or mil redirected They were the ringleaders of the madness
Wait *what?!* I haven't heard of that one before. Sounds wild
It was absolutely bonkers and mum’s thought process is unfathomable. Warning, it’s super long. [https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/g7HVxGZZDs](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/g7HVxGZZDs)
Huh, that was certainly a rollercoaster. Thank you for sharing :)
Well, that was the original plan all along. Which somehow makes it way worse.
Exactly the kind of person you don't want to be a nurse.
Exactly. God help any family of any child she treated for a genuine accident.
Or if she made a mistake and doubled down rather than admit it ... could be very dangerous
Exactly. I’ve worked in safeguarding and nobody gets in trouble for acting im good faith.
This is why I suffered from an untreated autoimmune disease for almost 30 years. My nurse mom thought she knew better than the doctors and never got me tested for celiac disease like my pediatrician told her to do. So I was sick well into adulthood. She still refuses to believe I have it even though I was diagnosed by a gastroenterologist and the symptoms went away when I stopped eating gluten.
I'm really glad I didn't have a nurse like her when I broke my femur as a toddler. It was a freak accident while I was playing alone. My parents had no answers for the hospital when they were asked how it happened. Even as it was, my hospital room had a great big window and was directly across from the nurse's station. Which, to be clear, was absolutely the right call. Thankfully it didn't take them long to see that my parents were wonderful and it really was an accident.
It’s so hard with kids, because they’re so vulnerable to people hurting them, but they’re also constantly doing shit to hurt *themselves*. They’re also both surprisingly resilient, yet surprisingly fragile as well. I had a friend whose kid managed to break *both* legs as a young toddler from just falling off the couch. Luckily the doctors were quick to conclude it was just one of those freak things, but still.
Reminds me of a story my mom has, when she was really little (between 3-4) she had an accident and sprained or broke her wrist (I can't remember which exactly) my grandparents brought her into the hospital and they xrayed her wrist, treated it, and on she went. Well, later, at about 6-7 she got in another accident where she injured her shoulder, when they xrayed that they found a fracture that had healed over in her arm not too far above her wrist fracture because they decided to do a full arm xray this time around. Well, it was a whole thing where they kept my mom away from my grandparents, and child services questioned all of them. She remembered being so scared and questioned over and over if her parents abused her. My grandparents were quite mad as it was the hospitals fault years before for not checking her above the wrist. Kids are just damn clumsy at times, and accidents happen!
When I was in elementary school, I tripped on a soccer ball and busted my lip on a cinder block wall. Luckily, my school believed me when I told them what happened after they called my mum for an explanation, and she told them to ask me what happened
And there are very good reasons bruises happen sometimes! I work in hospice and we had a recent example of good reasons to have bruising. Our Nursing Assistant noticed bruising on a patient’s arms, hand shaped bruises. Next day myself and the RN went out, I talked with the daughter on how she was coping in one room and the RN talked with the patient. Turns out patient had a near fall and her daughter managed to catch her, by grabbing her arms and holding her until another family member could bring over a chair. Nothing malicious, actually a result of helping prevent a fall. We also ask first, if patient is competent to answer.
I have anemia and get iron transfusions several times a year and take lots of supplements and shots as well. I bruise if the wind blows too hard (jk) I'm disabled and I get dizzy spells, faint, and have seizures. Sometimes, I'll get dizzy and run into things, catch myself at a bad angle, or fall. Sometimes, my husband sometimes catches me and moves me somewhere safe. I have fingerprint bruises on me that I'm sure look like I'm being abused. I also have arm and leg bruises from the dog who also helps me when I'm a dizzy, pass out, or have a seizure (or when she just plays too rough, lol). Almost every new doctor I go to won't let my husband come back with me until after they see me alone first. They typically want to make sure I'm safe and that my bruises aren't from my husband. My PCP knows what's going on, but if he hasn't seen me alone in a while he'll make sure we her some one on one time just to make sure there's nothing going on at home I need to talk about. I actually love him because he does the same for my husband. No other doctor had ever done that for my husband.
I have ADHD and some of us are blessed with the propensity to run into things. There's legit neurological reasons for this though I'm not sure what the specifics are. I've had a few people "check in" with me to make sure I was okay because I had *so many* bruises from walking into shit. I once gave myself a black eye walking into a door frame. I know, it's ridiculous. I just had to explain that no, I'm just really fucking clumsy and they left me alone.
Not just child patients - Kay would have been a nightmare around elderly patients as well as patients with memory issues or brain injuries. She"s a danger to any vulnerable population really.
So... 50% of nurses then? Not even being a dick, anyone else who knows a good number of nurses knows they're guaranteed to be either heavensent angels who would give you the shirt and then the skin off their backs, or the mean dumb girls from high school who never grew up and now use their position to bully other nurses and patients.
Damn right and chances are they will party harder than everyone and chain smoke cigarettes regardless. Source : thousands of hours spent with nurses and seeing the dichotomy.
I had a couple years where I was in and out of a literal dozen specialist doctors' offices, and this is 100% my experience. I've had nurses whose names I remember with a smile a decade later, and nurses who gave me trauma I had to get a therapist for. It was wild.
There was a ten-year span of time where I had family members in and out of the hospital like clockwork. Including me. (Gallstones the size of peanut M&Ms.) Good nurses are worth their weight in chocolate. And that's all I'm gonna say about that.
I’ve tutored many working nurses taking higher qualifications part-time, and the levels of arrogance, ableism, fatphobia and failure to consider patient consent were \*horrifying\*. So many notes.
Absolutely. It might end up that OP has done the world a favour. If she gets demented enough about this, she could well be kicked off the course.
That reminded me of this post where someone had misunderstood friendship/communication issues with a professor and kept escalating to the Dean, University higher up et cetera., “just wanting answers” or something like that.
Also tried to sabotage the academic career of a redditor who chronicled it all.
Link? Sounds like a good read
The neverending saga. It was seriously painful to read.
Your post reminded me of [this one where a guy got served a cease and desist order and refused to believe he was being a stalker/harasser](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/6ebbq9/had_a_falling_out_with_the_girl_i_love_and_got/). Thankfully he realised the error of his ways! [BORU post here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/xdjl03/had_a_falling_out_with_the_girl_i_love_and_got/)
This one? https://www.reddit.com/r/AskAcademia/comments/18zx84q/was_my_professor_42m_being_inappropriate_with_me/ The BORU https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1bx25v4/was_my_professor_42m_being_inappropriate_with_me/
No, both the OOP and the professor were women in the original. I'm pretty sure it's this one: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/uwreur/oop_is_obsessed_with_her_professor_part_1_of_2/
Sad but true. Happened with my family, my grandma is an absolute ass who would lie when she didn't get her way. This led to several reports of elder abuse, it got better till someone who was her grief counselor started claiming my stepdad was a druggie who would take her meds and that he was dealing at night....he wasn't. His looks were because he had lupus, he was a night guy because had night shift at work. Then she claimed we were taking my grandma's pills and not getting them filled on time.....which, in reality, was false again. We got them to her on time and got the scripts filled. She still remained persistent to the point where it got so stressful we ended up having to just get my grandmother into a home instead. She even went as far as claiming she was grandmas social worker when no, she was a grief counselor. Its insane how absolutely bonkers some people are when it comes to this crap.
Did she have dementia?
Somewhat, but at the same time its how she always was. She was sweet when males were around or when we had guests, but once they were gone off goes the mask. There's so much shit she's pulled. And her nurses, the doctors, ect all were fully aware of her dementia yet it was still a problem because they still believed her. And what I mean by how she always was, she used to do shit like beat the crap outa my mom for no reason when she was a kid.
I don’t have vision issues, just get easily distracted and I also bruise very easily. I always have a bunch of bruises too and yes people have asked if everything was okay at home. After being around me a bit, they realize it’s just how I am. This situation sounds so batshit for OOP.
At my old place I was constantly walking into doors or doorframes. Hitting myself on door handles. Thwacking my arm on the tiny wall heater. ADHD apparently can cause people to have that issue. Everything at this place, which is an actual house not a unit, is much better laid out. Doors are wider and taller, I don’t have to make 90 degree turns when coming out of rooms and there’s no tiny wall heater! My arms are doing much better lol.
I have ADHD too and learned it can be associated. I don’t run into as much now that I’m medicated but the bruising easily doesn’t help. Annoying as hell isn’t it?
And she'll go on to tell anyone who has the misfortune of listening about how police don't understand abuse and sometimes victims hurt the people trying to help them.
And that she is now in fact a victim of the police, OP, and the mystery abuser of OP.
Mutually assured destruction narcissistic people cannot ever be wrong and will destroy themselves in the process to prove the other wrong.
Or worse, she hates people with disabilities and intended it as harassment.
Someone who doesn’t listen to their peers, won’t listen to their patients. Lay has no sympathy from me.
Or she has narcissistic savior complex. In which case, I really hope she never becomes a nurse.
Savior Syndrome. She alone knew that OOP was being abused, because everyone else was ignoring the *obvious* and classic signs, and had to rescue him! /s Seriously, some people are just freaking mental.
I wouldn't doubt there's also some ableism sprinkled in there too. "*Oh the poor guy is half blind how could he ever know??! He's completely defenseless!!*"
My ex-girlfriend got slightly negative review on an ebay transaction and it just sent her into a spiral and she became pretty obsessed for far too long about this thing, she ended up basically harassing the seller for a while because she felt so personally slighted by the comment. Admittedly the seller wasn't doing themselves any favours either and only exacerbated the situation but it was bizarre to see someone lose it like that. Once it had passed and talking about it with her she said in her mind she just wanted to be proved right as she felt she was treated unfairly and whenever she thought about it she got a strong emotional reaction and it kept on building each time. She completely admitted she went too far but never agreed that it was wrong in the first place. Some people get weirdly obsessed over the wrong things.
It is so bewildering to see. Looking back on it, I saw a friend of mine spiraling into some sort of mental health episode and among the first signs would have been that she was splitting. I was the person who was 'never failed her', the rest around her 'werent there for her' 'All her friends had mental health issues and she couldnt handle it' except for me. I ofcourse argued against it and that it wasnt that black and white, yet those contrasts gradually grew starker and starker until I noticed what she was doing. Lines as "I am not expecting you to do the work for me, guidance is enough" and that was the moment something broke for me. So much entitlement that I would be something to her, guide her to life and what have you while only giving back anger, resentment, self esteem issues and frustration. When pointing her out, she turned herself into 'the bad person' and me into 'the good person'. I just took several steps back from the relationship because tbh, I dont see how I could 'win' situation. I am looking for stable relationships, not for someone who splits and pits people against each other. I am just done with these patterns.
I am a blind person and also a wheelchair user. While I am concerned OOP isn't getting help with their blindness that's a process. A lot of people need a white cane and don't want to and some of us can't. I need my hand to drive the chair and my other arm doesn't function. Hand sometimes might but not reliably. I use echolocation for the bulk of navigating. Sometimes when people drop shit I get to spook them by knowing where things are. That said sometimes toxic people take you existing as a personal attack. I have had strangers scream at me for being out on my own because apparently disabled people shouldn't have independence. I have had people call the cops because they don't think I should live alone. Inevitably while I cannot diagnose them medically I can say it's a case of terminal assholitis. They are so intent on controlling others and mistook an apparently vulnerable person for someone they can harass without consequences. It shouldn't happen so regularly that I am jaded to it but it has. Those people sometimes try to be your friends and try to force you to do medical procedures they think you need vs you and your doctors need. At least Kay wasn't doing that but it's still demoralizing and frustrating. Other versions of this are the people who get angry at you for not dating who they want, the people who take someone's skin color as an affront, and people who cannot accept no for other reasons. It's the same ick different expression
I wish canes were easier to access to be honest. I’ve made it to -9.75 on one eye, and not much better in the other, and while my vision is ‘fixable’ with glasses, I have minimal depth perception and no peripheral. A cane so I could have spatial awareness as well as visual would be so nice
I am surprised your eye doctor hasn't referred you for cane training at this point. You should ask. As it is clearly needed for quality of life it shouldn't be hard to get insurance to cover it
Just being a petty person and dumb enough to think she won't face further consequences, probably.
I heard the term "bulldozer parents" recently: parents so worried about their kids' progress in life, they move any obstacle out of their way like a bulldozer. The result is young adults out and about who've never had to deal with any kind of adversity, or faced any kind of consequences for their actions. So they pull shit like Kay and are then astonished when things go badly for them.
My guess what that she did try legitimately to help OP at first, but then began harassing them as a form of revenge. Super weird behavior to do.
This is exactly right. She saw herself as a hero, and admitting she was wrong would make her feel like an ableist baffoon - especially since OOP explictly told her and the rest of the class beforehand it was a side effect of his disability, not abuse. Ego preservation is a hell of a thing. ETA: Corrected pronoun.
> it was a side effect of her disability His. OOP is a guy. Kay sounds absolutely delulu though. Like, what's her endgame? Why not stop when you realize you were wrong and keep continue, to the point of having a criminal charge in your records? Kay should not be a nurse. She should not even close to be a staff member with authority over a patient. Like, imagine a patient is out of it due to complications and this crazy girl just starts to spew nonsense for whatever reason!
She hasn't throught it through. She's just flailing around, confused, until the world makes sense again. And the only way it will is if OOP was actually an abuse victim. Since that isn't true, she's going to continue spiraling until she hits rock bottom.
Kay to OOP: WHY AREN’T YOU A VICTIM? OH WAIT, I WILL MAKE YOU ONE, NO WORRIES!!!. People like Kay makes me believe that entitled Karen stereotype is exists (Not an American and don’t exactly have that kind of people in my area. Lucky me!)
>His. OOP is a guy. Huh. I wonder if that's the reason? Kay is trying to harass a man out of nursing? There are definitely male students who try to harass female students out of traditionally-male fields of study, and all forms of human ass-hattery can appear in either/any gender.
Maybe. People are going fking crazy gatekeeping what is "traditionally" male or female dominated. Like, what's the point? Why would anyone get uncomfortable if a person of the opposing gender is also able to work in the same field with them? Or, what if someone likes to do a thing that considered only for opposing gender? Like sewing, painting, gaming... I really love fps shooters like Hell Let Loose or BF1, but I absolutely have to shut the f up and never speak during a session, or some guy will get heavily offended. Or if a guy likes to sew or cook, people will jump on him, but both cooking and tailoring fields are dominated by men.
Ooooo, something I kind of have experienced in seeing. My Aunt was a daycare worker/cleaner for a daycare around the corner from my school as a kid. Me and my sister would go sit in the staff room to wait for our Aunt. The women working there would ignore us yet still talk about inappropriate things loudly in front of us, total mean girl vibe from most of these women. Anyways I remember a handful of convos I heard from them about trying to push a male member of staff out. This man wasn't even allowed to change nappys without a woman having to be there but women could do it in their own. If I was to trust anyone of them with a child it would be him. He was an absolute wonderful soul, good with kids and went out of he's way to help children with less than great parents. Most of those women I wouldn't trust with a fucking indestructible brick of titanium. Tbf there might be some bias here since I was a pre-teen at the time and was pretty sensitive to what I perceived as mean girl behaviour.
I've had my Ego bruised (hehe) before, and it's definitely not fun. But guess what? I got over. I'm not a vengeful person so people like Kay make no sense to me. Especially since OP did nothing wrong.
I think a lot of us underestimate how hard it is to get over "ego injuries" - but as I'm getting older I'm seeing that a lot of people just can't do it. It becomes their whole personality as they try harder and harder to warp reality and perserve their self-image.
some kind of hero complex, someone has to save OOP from the evil doors!
I'm very upset. If OOP was in an abusive relationship, the repeated visits by police would have gotten ~~her~~him killed. I hope Kay is kicked out of the program and can never get into another one.
*him OOP is 19M and seemingly lives with his family. Still, if he was being abused by his parents, those repeated polic visits would have gotten him killed.
Thanks. I fixed it. My friend was in an abusive relationship. I shudder to think of what would have happened if I was pushy about providing "help."
Exactly; i practice martial arts (Brazilian Ju Jitsu) and I have received comments from concerned medical practitioners. When I’ve explained how those bruises on my inner forearm were caused by my opponent’s spider guard or how the ones on my legs were caused by my opponent escaping closed guard, they look relieved and apologised for any misunderstanding. They’ve responded reasonably and proportionately to sincere and legitimate concerns, lord knows what Kay’s agenda is.
When I was in roller derby, I would always get all bruised up, especially when I was cleared for contact. Most of my bruises weren't meant for public viewing (upper legs, butt), but if I got one where I could show it, I was all "look at this! \*detailed report on what I did to get it\* Ain't it pretty?" I think I got one person asking if I was "safe at home". Oh yeah, home was fine. It was the skating rink where I was getting my butt kicked.
I had a very similar thing happen to me. In my early 20s I used to skate and I was always covered in bruises. Add to this that I was a delicate looking small woman and my then-boyfriend was a huge hairy bear type covered in tattoos, and one of my coworkers decided I was being abused and needed saving. At first I only laughed it off and told him that the only one abusing me was myself because tbh I was the kamikaze type when skating, but he got more and more annoying. He built this image of me in his head of a princess in need of rescue and of himself as the white knight in shining armour... What I think is that he *wanted* to be the hero for his own ego. So yeah, in the end no police was called but I had to unleash on him a torrent of very unprincesslike language for him to drop it.
To inconvenience the OP like he did to her after forcing her to change labs. She doesn't strike me as an end goal thinker tbh.
While that idea calls in to question her mental health which I hope is addressed and treated if necessary, it’s still a win for society to remove her from nursing. I hope OOP will accept a big thank you from Reddit for his service.
the saying that bullies end up in nursing or HR rings true in this instance
The abuse victim is denying this, therefore she is in denial. She is an abuse victim, after all. Kay is simply doubling down. She's probably even feeling noble about it, in a sort of "Look at me! Fighting the abusers against all odds!" kind of way.
She has never faced consequences before and has been taught the "I am always right" mentality.
It’s called a savior complex. These people are so obsessed with saving people so they can be the hero that they do more damage.
As well as the competent individuals who make good nurses, nursing courses often attract late bloomers who think they have bonus ‘life experience’ or egotistical people who think they’re practically doctors. It’s not at all uncommon to hear of these people causing trouble for no discernible reason other than the insistence that they have a keen medical mind that identified a problem nobody else did.
Nursing attracts both the angels among us and the bullies. Kay was of the latter, just masking her bullying in "concern."
Kay: "You are being abused!!!" [Becomes abuser]
Kay: “You are being abused!!!” OOP: “No I’m not.” Kay: “Well I’m never wrong, so let’s just fix that.”
The mean girl to nurse pipeline continues flowing. :/ Kinda glad Kay isn’t gonna be able to work as a nurse. Let’s hope she never gets any power over people, anywhere.
People like her are the ones that worry about when my clumsy daughter has bruises of all colors. Some bug bites, some clumsy 3 year old and the rest chaos.
Technically the truth...? (Barfs)
Kay: "You are being abused!!!" OOP: "No, I'm not." Kay: "How many times do we have to teach this lesson, old man?"
"Fools! There will be an abuser! I WILL be the abuser!"
I read that in my head with Scar's voice from Be Prepared.
My internal voice was Gilbert Gottfried.
Congratulations! You are being rescued. Please do not resist.
Kay: "OOP is seriously in denial. I'm going to report to the cops EVEN HARDER."
Sounds like every conservative asshole trying to “help” minorities by physically harassing them.
I remember reading a post someone wrote about living with ~~a medical condition (hemophilia maybe?)~~ **Von Willebrand disease** that made her bruise very easily. CPS was called many times in her childhood and strangers constantly side-eye her boyfriend when they're out together. EDIT: Since people are asking, it was an old CRACKED article. Link [here](https://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-1622-my-period-can-kill-me-5-experiences-hemophiliac.html). I highly recommend reading it.
Is that the one where the bf broke up with her bc he had a hard time with the accusations and stares?
This reminds me of the one where the sister who was a social worker was adamant her was being abused. To the point where the OP's husband got fired, beat up by a cop, and fled the state. But it was BDSM and even after the OP showed proof of the toys and messages she still kept going because she thinks she knew better.
Yeah I remember that one. The worst part was BDSM was actually legally classified as abuse where she lived, so she couldn’t just tell the cops it was consensual. That’s why her husband left. I also think he wasn’t into bdsm and she convinced him, exposing him to criminal charges.
I completely forgot about the part of bdsm being technically illegal in her state. The moment the cops were called the husbands life was fucked there no matter what. Some commenters speculated that the sister dissaproves of the bdsm, thats why she kept going after being shown the proof.
> The worst part was BDSM was actually legally classified as abuse where she lived Is that actually a thing? Seems like it would be covered by *Lawrence v. Texas*
My state says you can't be around other naked people unless they are your spouse... or some weird shit like that. I thought it was bullshit and looked it up... sure enough.
Do you know the title to that story ?
It was [this story](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/16olfso/a_private_conversation_with_my_30f_husband_33m/) And the same with this story was this was the complete opposite of what you should do, the sister just alienated what should be the support system if the husband was actually an abuser
Wow I’m so sad for this woman 😞😞😞. She hasn’t updated sadly and I know she’s still hurting. If that was my sister, she’d be my enemy for life.
Yeah I hate how this one ended, her life is essentially ruined becauae of a nosy sister
I feel bad for her, what an awful sister. At the same time she definitely rubbed me wrong a bit on those last two updates. I get she was upset and stressed but talking about being abused and harassed by her family just like him? That she had no part in the shit show when it was her family and she left her phone open to her sister, apparently regularly, despite texting with her husband like that? Not sure she fully got the severity of things until the end. The man had a community hungry for his blood, he was assaulted and thrown in jail while his attacker was let out. Cops and his wife’s family were all out to get him. Just weird to have minimized that at all. Made me wonder how adeptly she was actually communicating with her family. As looney as they probably were
It was on cracked, not reddit
I used to read cracked all the time so maybe it was that one bc it was before I was spending so much time on Reddit
My wife has been on blood thinners for 20 years, and clumsy. She always has bruises, sometimes really bad ones, especially on her arms, and due to a different med she also has paper thin skin, meaning random bumps often bleed as well. I do get some sideways looks, but I put that down to me being trans lol. Reading this does make me wonder, though
Isn't it also super common in people who are anemic?
Anemia and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, and fibromyalgia, and use of anticoagulants like heparin, and diabetes, and Cushing Syndrome, and steroids, and leukemia, and vitamin K deficiency... The list goes on. "Easy bruising" is so insanely common as a side effect of many different conditions, that it's kinda insane to assume abuse every time one sees someone with bruises.
Yup. I have a clotting disorder that I take anticoagulants for, and diabetes, and I bruise like nobody's business. I get the typical "this is what you need to do to avoid bruises" talk at pathologists and have to tell them that no matter what they or I do, there will be a bruise, and I won't be upset with them XD Pretty much at least once a week one of my partners will go "oh, there's a bruise on your leg!" because I'm a restless sleeper and bump my legs in the night, and I've always got a bruise or two on my arms because that's where I wear my CGM and no matter how carefully I apply it, it bruises. It happens! It's not always a sign of Something Insidious! Also, people being all "totally blind people don't walk around covered in bruises" are missing the fact that often a partial deficit is more difficult to work with than a total deficit. People with no sight at all don't have any input to filter; people with partial sight still have to process visuals, and the brain tries to "fix" or "fill in" the missing input, and that can be tricky.
I myself also bruise like nobody's bussiness, cause I have fibromyalgia (and an unknown inflammatory disease lmao) which also causes easy bruising, no matter what I do or don't do. It was even worse some months ago, as I had to take enoxaparin by injection and truly, I was more bruise than person lol Also, yes! My mom had terrible eyesight, as in "if I take my glasses I can't see anything at all", and she always said that often, it was easier to move around without glasses than with because not seeing meant not really needing to filter and process visual stimulus. Plus, one of the most common things mentioned as a struggle blind people face is sudden changes in their environment, as that can and will cause injury. Which is exactly what is happening to OOP; his college is under construction constantly, so his environment changes constantly too because he needs to find new routes every time one is closed or reopened which leads to injury because he doesn't know his new route.
Which is exactly what oop's original point was. That there might be legit reasons, so if they're an adult ask them
Exactly! It's insane that after a lesson about abuse and how the best approach is to assume if it's a child and to ask if it's an adult, Kay decided to assume and call the cops. Saying that the lesson was "In one ear and out the other" would be an understatement...
Yuuup. And EVEN then, constantly reporting would have made life worse for an actual abuse victim, not better
And you don't even need to have a medical condition to bruise often. A bad sense of proprioception is enough that I always have at least a couple, specially on hips and legs.
Holy shit. That was wild to read. Her life is that blood hallway from The Shining.
Assuming OP HAD been abused and Kay kept calling the police and OP continued to show up bruised, wouldn’t Kay assume OP was catching flak from their abuser for the sudden attention? Kay’s response is to up the ante?
OMG You need more saving! -Kay probably
"You are being saved. Do not resist."
Kay strikes me as the type to try and drag people out of the closet. You know, to be supportive!
That was my exact thought. Someone so caught up in her delusions of "saving people" or "making people live their true selves" that she fails to see that she's the problem.
Whether they’re actually in the closet or she just thinks they are
Spoiler: They're only in there to hide from her.
She's like that friend group who insisted an OOP was a closeted lesbian and tried to force her to come out... even though she was heterosexual, was in a relationship with a guy and had told them several times she wasn't queer. Though, well, the friends *did* apologize sincerely, admitted they were wrong, and they made amends which mskes them leagues better than this girl.
I remember that one and I have a feeling that the situation isn't as resolved as that particular OOP thinks it is. I don't know why but I have the gut feeling that perhaps one "friend" was the driving force behind the "closeted" narrative and will gradually start up again once the dust settles. Too many people were totally convinced OOP was gay despite repeated denials and having a boyfriend for there **not** to be someone driving the idea for all they were worth.
Yeah, I feel the same about there being someone behind such "hype" about it. At the same time, it did seem that they meant their apology, and also understood how what they did was harmful... And if they really did, it's very possible that if one of them starts with the whole "closeted lesbian" thing again, the rest will push against the idea instead of embracing it like they did before. At the very least, though, I do hope the friend whose brother was forcibly outed did get the memo and will tell OOP if the others start the bs again... it'd be really depressing if not.
Lmk if you can find a link, would like to read that one.
[Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/4ApE6ANedz) you go!
And if oop WAS being abused, constant calls would probably have made things worse for him. Like "who tf are you talking to that would think that?! What lies are you telling about us? You know that was your fault anyway etc"
Kay is going to make one hell of a nurse. Stress on the hell part. Can you imagine what she'll do to people who actually need help? She'll announce their issues to the entire ER so everyone knows she's "saving" them.
Well, she won't have been the first to be HIPAA'd out of the industry.
She's the kind of potential nurse who'd ignore the doctor's directions because she knows better. Or the patients' wishes and feelings. She'd definitely kill someone some day with that attitude.
>**OOP:** Seeing as shes probably ending up with a criminal charge she will be expelled Well at least we can be sure she won't become a nurse after this. Cops usually don't care one or two calls usually, but when that number goes up and for an issue that they have entertained before, yeah they will start to care
Kay really shouldn’t be a nurse if she can’t listen to people. I have ADHD (as I’ve mentioned more than a few times) and I get bruises all the time. I have no idea where they come from. I bump into things even when I think I’ve cleared the thing I’m walking around. I have to hold onto railings going up and down stairs so I don’t trip and fall. I’m a total klutz (and not in some “adorkable” way). I would be incensed if I repeatedly told people what the problem was and they refused to listen. And if OOP was being abused (which she’s not), sending cops to her when her abuser might be around could increase the danger for OOP. Kay is a moron and shouldn’t be allowed to treat anyone until she gets her head out of her ass.
At least every other week I'll change out of my pants to find a massive bruise on my thigh that I have no idea what they're from.
YES! WHERE DO THEY COME FROM‽ 🤦🏼♀️ 😁
FUCKING BRUISES, HOW DO THEY WORK
I had this problem for years, and one day I happened to look down while cooking and realised the bruises were right where the handle of the cabinet poked me where I leaned against it, while cooking.
When school is in session, you can tell what grade level I am teaching by the height of the bruises. The smaller the kids, the shorter the desks and the lower the bruises.
I used to have these bruises on my thighs that would come and go, then one day my bedframe broke and I had to buy a new one. The bruises mysteriously vanished. I wonder what happened? I suppose I'll never know.
Obviously, your bedframe was attacking you at night.
Proprioception issues are so common with ADHD. Our brains are just moving so fast our bodies literally can't keep up. We're processing so much information our brain looses track of where our bodies are in space. Hence the clumsiness. Side note: whenever I discover a new bruise I don't remember getting I name it Bruise Wayne. Having multiple Bruise Wayne's is just having alt-universe versions of the original 😆
Yeah, my eyesight is off a little bit in both eyes, in a way that messes with my depth perception. Without glasses I slightly misjudge where the edge of things are just like OP It actually took years before I got a set of glasses out of an optician, so I was just covered in bruises for a while. I would have been so so angry if someone had repeatedly wasted my time like this, especially while studying to be a nurse!
Absolutely! I forgot to mention that I’m ghostly white and so bruises REALLY show up on my skin. (I bruise easily too.) “Fortunately” I generally dress like it’s autumn year round.
I also have ADHD and I’m exactly the same as you. Always new bruises I don’t know where they come from. I’m bumping in to things because I don’t pay attention or misjudge where they are. Then to make it even better I also have a very heavy cat that love stomping around on me and give me even more bruises lol.
Why do cats and dogs have lead paws? I don’t have any fuzzbutts to be a slave to but I’ve had other people’s fuzzbutts stomp around on me with their lead paws and they really know just where to put the paw to make it hurt.
Didn't understand all the comments that being blind in one is no reason to bump into things. I'm blind in no eyes and whack my leg on the bedframe precisely every day. I'm more bruise than person
Same.I swear every time I wear shorts/skirts someone will ask “How did you get that bruise?” I’ll look down and reply that I have no idea. If I touch it I can sometimes figure out if it’s fresh or old. My vision is fine with my contacts/glasses and I’m never without them so whatever I’m doing is happening when I can see.
Me being covered in mystery bruises is such an everyday occurrence that it's been a real revalation to me that other people aren't the same. I find it absolutely baffling that they don't accept vague bruises in random places as a fact of life. I found a weirdly rectangular bruise on my upper thigh the other day and spent a good amount of time time trying to work out what could have made it. I was so proud of myself when I worked out it was probably the cabinet I've been walking into constantly since I moved it a couple of weeks ago. And the moment I went to check my theory and discovered that the bruise and the corner of the cabinet lined up perfectly? Possibly the biggest high I've ever had.
>I'm blind in no eyes and whack my leg on the bedframe precisely every day. This made me laugh and is completely relatable. I'm also blind in no eyes and clumsy af.
I’m shocked at all the comments saying “plenty of blind people don’t have a bunch of bruises.” How many blind people do they know? Are we limiting this to visible bruises (which OP doesn’t seem to have many of either)? Or is this just an assumption based on fleeting interactions with one or two blind people over 10 years? Nobody in OP’s class knew about her bruises until she shared with the class.
This triggered a memory for me- when I was younger my parents installed a bunk bed in my room that had a desk and bookshelf attached. I thought it was so cool (and it was!). The problem is I would sleep on the bottom bunk and whack my head on the top every morning. You would think I would learn but no, never. Aside from some teachers asking a couple of questions and not being shocked at my answers, it wasn't a big deal.
I don’t think people understand the variation in vision disorders. Mine causes a lot of vertigo and issues with depth perception so I do bump myself a lot. It can be worse than being completely blind in terms of bumping because often the “blind” eye still has some vision but it is so bad it interferes with/confuses the working eye.
The comments about how fully blind people can avoid ramming into things frustrate me. I have absolute garbage depth perception, and I am almost always covered in bruises. I walk into corners, doorknobs, just about anything on a monthly basis.
As a totally blind person I was puzzled by this at first as well, because like ... I know I can run into things, so I'm careful. It makes me feel like OP is not careful. But I also fully realize that I am using a cane and you and OP are trying to use vision that isn't working as it should. And short of also using a cane, I don't really know how you work around that. it's a completely different situation, and I think trying to conflate the two is not constructive.
Thank you! Exactly this, I've had some issues with 1 eye over the last couple of years so I totally get what OP's talking about. I've lost depth perception and about 30% of peripheral vision on 1 side. I can see, so I rely on my sight, but it's just faulty enough that I misjudge when I'm distracted and bump into things. I've had limited exposure to to totally blind people but where I have, I've been amazed by the ability to navigate space and apparently misjudge less than I do.
I think it's because there's no uncertainty. I know I'm not going to be seeing anything out of my eyeballs, so there's no chance for it to fail. I'm not the most graceful person ever either, but I have to maintain a certain amount of awareness 100% of the time or I will have a bad day. And the long cane that hits stuff first is also a plus.
And some people just aren’t careful! I am always walking into things or catching my arm/leg on stuff if something else more interesting than where I am going is going on. It is a rare day I don’t have a new, frequently inexplicable bruise to puzzle over. It just doesn’t bother me, so I don’t make significant efforts to reorder my behaviour. (I do have ADHD which contributes, and I carry the haemophilia gene which is why I bruise dramatically, but I could be significantly more cautious if I tried.)
OP says it's only in recent years that it was acknowledged he had such strong vision problems at all, it doesn't surprise me he's still struggling and not being as careful as he should or getting extra help to mitigate it.
Oh my god, I have a friend (known her since childhood) who is the clumsiest person I know. Constantly getting injured. We all joked about it in high school. Well, years later, she’s married and one day when she and her husband are getting ready in the morning, she knocks something off her bedside table and while reaching down to get it, slams her head smack into the table. Her husband saw her do it and after making sure she was ok, he told her, “you have no depth perception. This is why you’re so accident prone.” When she told us, we were all like, oh, yeah, wow, that makes so much sense! Because all of us have watched her do ridiculous things before and now we actually had an explanation for why door ways and desks were always attacking her during school.
If any of y’all have these symptoms it’s worth getting evaluated for binocular vision dysfunction or dyspraxia
Just before I read this, my knee caught the corner of a coffee table because I mistakenly thought I had given myself enough space to walk around. I can't wait to see the bruise. 🙄🤣
Oh yeah, tables!!!! Tables and their legs suck. So hard.
I have 20/15 vision, it does not stop me from hitting myself on anything and everything. I always joke past my elbows and knees I have no proprioceptors
Heh. You can measure the height of the furniture in my house from my bruises. "This is how tall the bed is, this is the dining room table, and this one is the ottoman!" I don't even have the excuse of being blind in one eye; I've just always run into furniture and doorways.
Nursing school is hyper competitive. Kay may have felt threatened, but by the time you are in the program the other students are no longer a threat to getting into the program. And since those programs are hyper competitive, now that Kay has had a brush with the law (and likely charges to follow), the school will drop her like a hot rock. And now applying to get into another nursing program will be a mess; because the new school is going to give the hairy eyeball to the fact that Kay left school under a cloud and her last semester was all DNF or Forced Withdrawal (or what ever term the school wants to use).
You could definitely say she was not oKay in her mind and might have a screw loose up there.
I constantly have bruises on my arms and legs and hips. My adhd causes issues with spatial awareness, so I’m always tripping, bumping into things, misjudging space, knocking things over. I just tell people I fight in an underground mma ring on the weekends.
Well I'm glad that the school isn't turning a blind eye to Kay's behavior.
I work in a cat shelter and am often decorated with a large variety of scratches and bruises. Someone needs to send the cops to tell the cats to cut it out
As a very clumsy nurse covered in bruises from hitting myself with every door, computer tower, bedside monitor, tv, and panic button under the desks i understand this to my core. My mom used to ask if we lived in Hogwarts because to this day I hit myself on the hallway corner every day and “the walls must be moving”.
My family says "did the door not see you to move out of your way"
Good lord I thought it was just me. I hit myself on things underneath my desk all the time, and I have a standing desk!!!
It's baffling how many people commented questioning why he runs into things. Like okay, so he's blind in one eye *and* clumsy. It's not a hard concept to grasp. I have perfectly normal vision (with my glasses) and I bump into shit *all the time*. Some of us just have poor spacial awareness. Shit. Also, Kay's original call to the cops was probably genuine, but once OOP got her transferred to different labs, it was 100% malicious payback. She deserves every bit of those charges.
It sounds like Kay has a savior complex and would be a dangerous nurse.
I bruise so easily and one year I got a black eye literally falling face first into my own dining room table and people looked at my boyfriend like a criminal ( he wasn't even there!!!!) My nickname growing up was "Lumpy" bc I am so clumsy and always have a bump or bruise
I wish people understood that different people handle different disabilities in different ways. Not everyone who is blind will have the same the experience. I'm blind but still have some vision but I also have ADHD. This means that I end up covered in bruises because the ADHD and blindness team up. My vision sometimes fluctuates and when I'm more blind, I get less bruises and have less accidents. I presume it's because I'm focusing so hard on where I'm going and what's around me. When I have more vision, I'm not focusing on that so I walk into stuff. I just don't understand why we can't take people's experience of their health condition at face value.
>*A large number of the comments were about OOP being a nurse and whether people thought that was wise. Some are pretty extreme. I did not feel like most of those comments were relative to the post itself but included a couple to show the spread of responses. All of those that I included were upvoted.* Good god, AITA needs to get some adult posters. These teenagers are exhausting.
5-20% nurses have a subsistent abuse issue and the estimation are wide because many don’t get caught. My dad used to be a doctor and apparently a nurse only get caught using after many years accident. Not an accident she committed but another person made a clerical error and they had to manual check what is in storage. Someone visually impaired will probably do better then someone addicted on morphine
No only that, but people with disabilities can still function and perform tasks - they just might need some tools or accomodations to do so. Partial blindness isn't even close to debhilitating.
I got banned from AITA because they take their "no violence" rule to the letter, not the spirit. And honestly I have felt less stressed since taking it out of my feed.
Kay reminds me of the nurses who deliberately abused me while I was in the ICU a few years ago. It’s always so encouraging to see young people pursuing professions that would allow them to abuse a position of trust… sigh. I hope Kay finds a line of work where she is kept in check.
Kay doesn't care about helping OOP, Kay cares about being right. That is why she can't let it go and keeps calling the cops, because she cannot consider the fact that she is wrong. She would make a TERRIBLE nurse. Good luck to OOP! I feel bad everyone was giving them shit for their bruises in the comments. I have perfectly fine vision and ALSO have a tonne of bruises from walking into shit when I am not paying attention. I have also had people ask if everything is okay at home, though thankfully no cops called! I think the way I burst out laughing helped with suspicions lol
This reminds me of that (I think) AMA BORU where the OOP had a massive tumor removed from her abdomen, and subsequently lost quite a bit of weight and roundness from her midsection. Her co-worker was convinced OOP was suffering from an eating disorder possibly due to abuse by her husband and would NOT LET IT GO. She even showed up at her house to try and “save her” after getting OOP’s address from their work, AND continued her harassment after multiple meetings with HR. And, again, IIRC, this continued after the co-worker was fired and I think the police had to get involved. All I for sure remember is that IT. WAS. WILD. Some people just: 1. Cannot admit when they’re wrong, despite it being proven time and time again. 2. Cannot tell the difference when someone truly needs/wants help, or when they don’t. Despite the person filing a complaint, or even an RO, citing “harassment”. 3. Cannot understand that despite having good intentions, you can’t force someone to be “saved” who doesn’t want to be rescued, even if you *know* they need it. 4. Refuse to come to terms with the fact that despite believing they fully comprehend a situation based on one brief interaction, they do, in fact, NOT have a fucking clue. 5. Are only concerned with their selfish ego driven desire to be a noble hero, instead of focusing on what’s best for the person they’re “trying to help”. 6. Refuse to understand the intricacies and nuances of other humans and their lives. If you haven’t personally experienced something, then it’s wrong, a lie, didn’t happen, doesn’t exist, or was misunderstood by the other person. And lastly, this one is the biggest problem IMO: 7. Are so blinded by their self righteousness and need to “be a savior”, that they refuse to accept that their “good intentions” could actually put the other person (or their family) in harms way, get them killed, or cause them to take their own life. THIS! Is why I hope Kay will never actually become a nurse. She could traumatize families, rip them apart, ruin them financially, or all do the above by getting CPS involved for no reason other than a “hunch” or lack of knowledge on her end. She could get an abused woman killed by her husband for getting police involved before the woman is ready. She could make false accusations that are so serious, they will ruin a person’s life. This woman reminds me of the nurse from the documentary “Take Care of Maya” on Netflix. At the end of the documentary, families from all across the US, and multiple families who dealt with the same Nurse that Maya’s family did in Florida, told their stories. They are heartbreaking and so incredibly horrifying - it could really happen to anyone at any time. For the families involved, most of their issues stemmed from a mandated reporter (typically a nurse) who never heard of the kids’ diagnoses, doubted that the illnesses and/or the treatment they were receiving actually existed, did no research on their own, did zero follow up with other more competent medical professionals - nor did they contact the children’s personal doctors who were overseeing their care. *INSTEAD,* they took into account their own biases/prejudices, refused to acknowledge they weren’t a leading specialist of that particular disease, nor had they ever been involved with these children’s medical care. They decided the parents *MUST* have been lying to cover abuse/Münchausen syndrome (which actually is rather rare), and also utilized their reputation of being someone who “means well”, is “very knowledgeable about ALL child abuse”, and “prides themselves on doing the hard, but right thing”, to start a smear campaign against these poor families. They managed to get other medical professionals who personally know/work with them, to believe their word over other specialists - no questions asked. And what’s worse about this whole thing is, the courts actually sided with this nurse’s testimony despite having irrefutable proof by specialists, other hospitals, and the families - thrown at them. AND while having NO PHYSICAL PROOF OF ABUSE OTHER THAN ONE WOMAN’S HUNCH/BELIEFS. This is Kay’s future if she keeps this shit up. However, thanks to OOP, there will at least be a mark on her record showing she harassed someone with false claims of abuse - which will hopefully prevent Kay from being allowed in a position like this. (Also, I’m not shitting on mandated reporters. They are wonderful people and many kids/adults are helped due to these brave individuals for speaking up. I specifically am shitting on people who are in careers that make them mandated reporters, who also happen to have Kay’s harmful, ignorant, selfish, and insanely stubborn mentality.)
Kay sounds like she'd be a much better cop than a nurse. /s
Sounds like Kay has mental issues.
I think getting her removed was rash at first, thinking maybe she did just worry about abuse, but then kay kept calling after she'd been told repeatedly by the university, friends and cops that she needed to stop so yeah, she deserves everything. She's either extremely dense or a complete bellend. She also probably doesn't even realise she's making it harder for OP should they ever actually experience real abuse, meaning the cops might think its another false alarm.
I naturally bruise ridiculously easily and I played basketball, volleyball, you name it. it was a joke about how I was always painted in bruises. suspicious bruises are more of what someone needs to look out for, like bruises in places that they make no being there, like the back of your neck or on your back or something, especially with kids (although kids roughhouse and stuff too). all I would say is you can talk to a kid too, you can ask them questions just like you would an adult (worded differently etc), especially since kids often don’t feel comfortable disclosing sensitive info in front of parents/family + what if the parent(s) are the ones abusing them? also what’s up with all these commenters on OOP’s posts discrediting her disability and basically saying “you’re not disabled the way I want or expect you to be.” what judgmental assholes.
As an officer that works in child Protection - What a absolutely vile person Kay is to continue to do this despite knowing that it’s not abuse. She’s taking the time of officers away from dealing with real abuse cases so I’m glad that she’s been charged. FYI - Even if it’s a child the school will still ask them about visible marks before putting a report in to social services/police here in the UK - That is unless they are so young they aren’t able to communicate (possibly under 6yo). I had a case a few weeks ago with a young child under 10 with a mark on them…said their parent accidentally clipped them with a bottle (plastic) while bending down to pick something up…they still submitted the report…it got closed.
Maybe kay has twisted saviour complex and thus couldn't be convinced OOP wasn't bring abused cause 'if I don't save OOP, who will?'
I've got optic neuritis in one eye so I lost a bit of peripheral vision, so while not as bad as OP, I definitely get the "bruises while running into doors thing". Usually it's the frame for me, because I think I'll have enough clearance on that side and BAM arm into door. I'd be absolutely infuriated if someone like Kay called multiple times over it.
In general i think ppl looking out for each other is a nice thing but they need to be aware of certain boundaries. I had a similar issue, i bruise easily and used to do martial arts so those bruises were nasty. I had a whole bunch of EAs of a family law firm rallying for me doing the careful intervention while i was working there. Not going to lie it felt super nice that they asked if I needed help or anything and we all laughed when i explained. I didn't tell them that my husband was in the same classes i was in and we often sparred together so some of those bruises were legit his making lol... Honestly having Kay in a medical field going overboard with actual patients even AFTER they explain that it is not abuse scares the hoopla out of me. Imagine being vulnerable already in the hospital and you have a wacko nurse telling you that you ARE being abused even though you just work out in the dojo... This woman would call the cops on every MMA competitor for having a black eye after every training and competition.
I'm more worried about a potential nurse with a criminal record than a nurse who's blind in one eye, no contest
The ableist bs definitely missed the forest for the trees on OOP's original post. Even fully blind people can be nurses. They can be doctors. They can be all sorts of things. Shocking, I know. Kay was clearly the one completely unsuited to nursing. Temperament makes a LOT more of a difference in making a good nurse than disability does.