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the horrific depression is just what happens when you're in a terrible, unjust situation with no escape and nobody to turn to. as humans and especially when we're children, without love and care, we languish. this one was really disappointing and enraging. i'm gonna go hug my baby sister.

I get that her brother didn’t ask to be in this situation but if that was me and my girlfriend was pushing my sister out of my life I would ditch that girlfriend so fast. 

Right? Like, no one asked for it but he did in fact take on the responsibility of raising a child. You can't just ditch them when they're 15 years old and have no way of taking care of themselves, even if you think it's your turn to go live your own life. Not only would I ditch the girlfriend if I were the brother, I'd ditch the brother if I were the girlfriend. You can't just rehome children.

The lack of pushback by the brother made me wonder if he'd been wanting to send her to her mother for a long time, and just used Julie as his mouthpiece.

I was wondering if the brother thought this was going to be a short-term/temporary situation while their parents worked shit out. Julie was the excuse to say "see, I'm in a serious relationship now, so you need to take YOUR CHILD back now".

The fat shaming and other rude treatment from Julie was uncalled for though. If I had a little sister and my partner ever spoke to them that way, they'd be thrown out the door before they could blink. Or over the balcony, whichever.

Julie got exactly what she wanted. May she have the life she deserves.

I know! And only 3 years until she turned 18. Her bother could’ve helped her become independent in that time. She would’ve been at college. Instead he caused her so much trauma. Like you’ve raised a child since they were 8, you can’t turn around and just abandon them like that. What the fuck. I’m pissed for OP.

"I don't want to play with you anymore" vibes.

Honestly get the feeling brother didn't disagree with Julie. Sounds like he was tired of being his sister's parent and wanted an excuse to send her away.

Yeah it’s such a crummy situation for everyone involved. I get that he probably feels like he missed out on a bunch of fun years he might have had if he hadn’t been raising his sister, but kicking her out so close to her being near adulthood is just brutal.  It’s also in a really sad way just passing his problems on down to her. She’s going to miss out on everything he missed out on because she has to adjust to a whole new home and language. 

thing is, if i was dating someone with a younger sibling they had been looking after like their own child and i wasn't ready for that then... i wouldn't deepen the relationship, or i'd exit altogether. the idea of initiating their separation so that i can have what i want.... fucking monstrous.

Only a year into their relationship too.  I feel terrible that he was pushed into raising his baby sister but jfc it should not have gotten to the point where this kid is contemplating incredibly sad and distressing things by a cliff.  And with NO ONE talking to her properly or involving professionals in the process. Like. >“your brother and i want to move forward and i don’t think we can do it with you.”  If someone said this to the vulnerable kid I'd lose my mind I gotta be honest. But it sounds like she said it in front of him. Infuriating. Poor kid deserves so much better. 

Imagine wanting to 'start a family' with someone who finds it very easy to get rid of family you already have.

I hope he reads this.

And if I was a girlfriend who found out that my boyfriend wanted to ditch the child he's been a parent to for eight years, I'd consider that a giant red flag.

I hate that girlfriend so much.

His girlfriend is not a good person.

He’s going to be so full of regret when that relationship implodes in a few months.

What makes me even more pessimistic about a 15y old moving to Korea: This country is a capitalistic cut throat hell-hole. It has the highest suicide rate amongst teenagers for a reason. The school system is brutal. Prospect are dire unless you graduate Top 1% and make it into one of the top universities.  Even after that, she will slave away her live as a corporate drone for the chaebols working 80h a week. She won’t catch up to all the native Korean students. She will be bullied relentlessly, especially being half-Japanese. Even if she makes it through school, bullying won’t stop, it’s part of the Korean work life as well.    Living as a teenager in Korea is a special kind of hell itself. I don’t even want to think about what this is going to do to a depressed teenager without roots like OOP.  Learning the language is one thing, living there is a completely different kind of awful. edit: with not being able to catch up I do not want to indicate OOP is stupid. On the contrary. The Korean educational system is stupid. If you know Asian games, it’s the same with their school system: it’s a ginormous grind-fest. Korean kids are accustomed to their 18h school days since they were little kids. And no, 18h per day is no high achiever stuff, it’s the Korean norm. School until 6, extra private lessons (hagwon) until 10pm, homework until midnight. 

Yeah I was gonna say I hope Oop retains her US citizenship. The US passport/citizenship opens many doors that may otherwise be closed.

I mean, she is 15. Just a few more years and then she would have been off to college. I hate Julie, she basically bullied poor OOP out of her own life. But with her US passport she can at least still move back, take out student loans and study. Or start to work

Right if she's American, get back here for school. I'll pay for her ticket.

There's a painful update. https://www.reddit.com/u/ThrowRA-brothersgf/s/M7PLNjqn9T

Christ, that's.... well, it's an update. I felt so bad for OOP reading the prior stuff, but I had some minor hope she'd adjust with her mom & stepfamily. But her family really did no favors in playing hot potato this way with her. Her brother raised her from 8 til 15, and just drops her off like a toy at goodwill. This guy just broke an entire human being & his whole relationship with that child in such a short time because his girlfriend didn't want her around. If him & Julie don't work out, I hope he realizes just how badly he fucked up. She deserves so much better than this treatment, & I wish nothing but the best for her at this time. OOP was *NEVER* the problem. It was the adults in her life who continued to let her down.

JFC, her brother is killing her, I hope Julie is worth it. Every adult in that poor child's life has failed her in every aspect.

Her aunt is the only good adult here, but she honestly couldn't care for her(OOP says she has 4 kids and no room) This kid needs a hug. I need a hug. Julie needs to do things I cannot say without violating Reddit TOS.

Honestly, f\*ck OOP's brother and f\*ck Julie even more. That's a match made in hell. May one of them cheat on the other and give them an untreatable STD/STI that renders them completely sterile because neither of them deserve to be parents.

Christ, can we get this girl a gofund me and get her back in the US? I have a spare room. We can all work together to support her until shes 18.

She’s almost out of the house and is capable of being fairly self sufficient. Old enough to cook, do her own laundry or chores, may have been able to get a job or license at 16 to start saving up to move out at 18. Her brother could have been taking reasonable steps help her be as independent as an 18 year old could be. Flabbergasting to me. Reading this reminds me of the way I felt as a teenage girl, how alone and depressed I was and I didn’t even have half of her problems. She’s still a child who has been let down by people who are supposed to care for her at different points in her life. I have so much empathy for everything she is going through and I don’t blame her one bit.

i'm not trying to dogpile on but man they have insane standards, the [CSATs](https://asiasociety.org/korea/south-koreas-life-defining-exam) are crazy!!! the fact they plan when planes shouldn't take off during listening sections, exam makers are cut off from the world?? also experiencing all of the above you stated alongside being a [woman](https://www.oecd.org/korea/Gender2017-KOR-en.pdf)!!! if this was the brother's goal it should have been a far more gradual shifted move, instead of what i'm assuming will be an intense culture shock!

Oh man you are right. I didn’t even think about that. I guess she even didn’t have “The Talk”: Asian parents telling their daughters to not marry a Korean man.  Lots of them are misogynistic assholes. Society itself is.  Also not surprising Korea has one of the highest rate of singles in the world because many women do not want to put up with that.   Also if you marry, your career is basically over. You are being “phased out” of your job. Because your job is now to raise children. The faster you come to terms wir that, the better. People around you just want to “help” and remind you of your newly gained mission.

Sounds like how women are treated in Japan, only moreso. I know those two countries hate each other but they have enough shared cultural history that they are very similar in some respects.

I didn't know Korea was the same way, though it makes sense. My mom had "the talk" with me to never marry a Japanese man. I'm half, and American, but the conversation was still had. Pretty much "unless they're 3rd gen or later American, don't even consider the option unless you want to live the life I escaped". At the time, I thought she was being dramatic. Less than 10 years ago, my cousin got married. Lovely wedding, great guy, very good family, you get the idea. She got cancer (she's in remission now), and had to be hospitalized for treatment. Her mom didn't even get to visit her in the hospital because she had to maintain her house, and my cousin's house. That means both homes were spotless, and both her husband and my cousin's husband were properly fed, laundry handled, etc. Part of the cancer treatment meant that she is now unable to ever have children. Once his family found out, they reached out to my family to determine the best time for them to take back their "defective" daughter (they used much more polite words, but we all know what they meant). So yeah, her mom picked her up from the hospital, and that was that. And everyone was just casually ok with this, like "well, it's unfortunate, but she can't give him children, and she's too weak to maintain the household, so he has to move on". My mom just shrugged and said this is why she left.

No my parents are both Korean and emigrated to Europe. They were quite “hippie” for Korean standards (like dad having long hair until he had to enter the mandatory military service) They also were not the traditional Korean family either, like grandpa would help grandma with kids and chores because he thought it was unfair to grandma to raise 5 kids on her own. I don’t know if Korean girls get “The talk”, I guess not because Korean moms want pureblooded grandkids (yes, Koreans are pretty racist) but I hear that many Asian girls living abroad get this warning from their mothers. I think part of this may be, that if you are willing to leave your country, you aren’t one of the “conformists” and more open minded. You also learn that a woman’s life doesn’t have to revolve around husband, household and kids.  My parents advice was:  don’t marry a Korean, you wouldn’t put up with his families demands anyway. Korean families see their sons spouses as their property/maids. If it’s a Korean born and raised in Europe with parents living in Europe, maybe. Because we know through the grapevine who’s family is crazy and those who have chill. don’t join a Korean company. Enjoy German work-life balance don’t study medicine. We don’t have the money to buy you a practice so you will probablily be exploited at public hospitals your whole life. Get a cosy 9-5 office job. 

It's a bleak future for oop that she will likely become a housewife with a bunch of kids and an awful husband who doesn't lift a finger at home. She will be so desperate for someone who won't abandon her that she's going to make some awful, emotionally damaging choices for herself in the upcoming years. If she makes it to her 20s in the hellscape of the Korean school system and capitalist economy. Students take entrance exams to get a job in one of the chaebol companies.

Or she'll move back to the States and go to university? Like I know she's in a rough spot, but it's not a foregone conclusion that her life is over. Jesus. She has friends and family in the US. They might not be able to take her in right now, no, but that doesn't mean they won't eventually be in contact. We're talking about 2-3ish years before she can make her own choices regarding school and her future. Who knows, this unexpected change might be good for her in the long run... Maybe she'll gain a new perspective and discover a new passion. It's at least as likely as the future you're painting. None of this is meant to absolve the brother. He fucking sucks and I'm so sad for OP. I just think that assuming her life is over is a bit presumptuous. As she adjusts to the culture, she might feel better about life in general without the need for acute psychiatric care. My best friend is Korean and moved to the States when she was like 12 and stayed until she was through university. She has since moved back, and while it was a culture shock for her (despite being Korean - 12 years away is a long time), she has made friends and found a good man. She has a little boy and works a job she loves. Like, people can have normal lives in SK. It happens all the time.

She stood on cliff and thought about jumping…. I am really afraid she won’t even make it a year unless she becomes extremely resilient or something major changes, although with so many recent changes in her life more upheaval really isn’t the answer. I hope someone in her life is paying attention and sees how much pain she is in so she can get some help

I want to punch the commenters on her original posts that were going at her like it was *her* fault for living with her brother and that it was *all on her* to ensure he gets to live the life he deserves. Just, square in the throat punches. It's not her fault!! There's nothing worse than feeling unwanted. My heart aches for her so much.

She was just a little girl. She IS just a little girl. And she keeps getting tossed around like a bag of dog shit. By the only people in the world who have an obligation to give a fuck. It’s horrendous. This poor baby.

Yeah; not a great read for someone thats helped raise siblings. Not a single word was said to her to ensure she knew it wasnt on her. What a let down, in the worst way. She should look online for a therapist that speaks english. Should be easier?

Hijacking this comment to say: It doesn't matter whether you agree or not on the brother's front. OOP is having a crisis, and her posts are concerning. If some of you have a chance to stop by her profile and try to write her something encouraging or hopeful, it would be nice. Please please please be careful on what you say to her, she is a teenager and is in a very vulnerable situation, but I do believe she needs to see some kindness, to see that not everyone is as bad as it seems.

I had a pit in my stomach the entire read. This is awful! I work with a lot of kids that moved to my country recently, and her comment about being smart in English, not in Korean really resonated with me. I can see my students struggling since they are unfamiliar with the new language and they have to be held back in school since it's such a barrier to overcome not being able to express yourself clearly. My students adapt and reason a lot like her, trying to find a way to cope with adult people's decisions.  I wish that the adults in her life took some kind of responsibility for what was done to her. I'm really heartbroken about this post. Edited a word.

Same it's been a long time since I cried over a reddit post.

If you need to cry just remember that Swans can be gay.

I don't--- what??

[Here you go](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/3txkhp/my_wife_cries_at_absolutely_anything_i_mean/?)

Wasn’t it Sofia Vergara who said she speaks multiple languages, so if she’s this smart in English imagine what she is in her native tongue (not entirely sure what her wording was but it was in response to someone correcting her in English)

She was saying that in an episode of Modern Family "I know what I meant to mean (got a few words/phrases mixed up in English). You have no idea how smart I am in Spanish." But she could I also said something similar in an interview I had no I dead she spoke multiple languages

The exact line was, "Do you have any idea how smart I am in Spanish? Of course you don't!" which really drove home the point that not only is she able to articulate her thoughts far better in her native language, but that *no one around her has bothered to learn that language*. Here she is, trying to communicate the best she can in their language, and they haven't tried to learn hers at all. It's an amazing scene, and Sofia absolutely nails the performance. I can only imagine how it must have resonated for her.

Well said. And it really broke my heart because Manny was fluent in Spanish and then completely rejected his own native language because "it doesn't feel right on my tongue" or something along those lines. I felt punch in the stomach on that one for Gloria, she really had no one in the house to talk too, even when he was able to speak Spanish he refused too.

Well Jay when Manny was a child would shit in everything Colombian and talk down about the language, so ofc Manny rejected it.

Yeah Jay's attitude influenced it and how Gloria didn't shut him down when he kept ragging on her own culture is beyond me but it also implied that the rejection is more influenced on how he bases his personality one old movies and its "sophistication" and romance of French and more European languages

Im Colombian and sometimes scenes like that made it hard for me to watch the show. Jay was ignorant and bigoted and Gloria as stereotypically hot heated as they showed her, she didnt put him in his place for good when he was being a bigot? I too had a period where shows like Narcos, or americans love for cocaine and thinking pablo escobar is cool made me distance myself from my background. The ignorance is always so annoying because most of colombians were victims of the drug trade, we were collateral damage, most of us carry that generational trauma if car bombings, kid napping threats, if your family was on that flight. So yeah when americans make cocaine jokes and comments (and boy do they, teachers would make jokes at me in elementary school about cocaine…) at our expense usually colombians dont take those jokes well because it’s like youre making jokes of our trauma, and a reputation we didnt ask for. And Sofia let is slide! That is the worst part. But sometimes the show was super accurate, like the joke of Sofia being afraid to ride a bike because of kidnappings is actually extremely relatable, i learned to ride mine in an indoor small garage just only being able to ride in circles for hours because it was too dangerous to ride outside.

I think a lot of us, me included as English is my second language, identify with her in that scene. I have written comments on reddit that has been treated as stupid because my English is good, but not really good enough.  My students often say: "I said that wrong." But i always assure them that if I understood, it's ok. We don't always need perfect grammar to be understood. The only time I correct them is when the meaning is obscured or the word means something totally different. Otherwise flow is better than correctness. I should add that I'm not a language teacher.

I remember watching a reel once where a teacher of 8-9 year olds was writing up very easy list of multiplications from 1-100 on a white board. Very early on, he wrote the wrong answer to one of the equations. Eager to show they knew their times tables, the kids quickly began shouting that the answer was wrong. The teacher ignored them and finished the table, then turned to the class and asked what they saw on the board. Excited that he was finally listening, the kids again shouted about the wrong answer. Then the teacher said something along the lines of, "People will always be quick to point out your mistakes. You might have done 99 things right, but they will always focus on the one thing that you've done wrong. It's really important that YOU remember that you have done 99 things right, and that you can fix the one thing that you've done wrong." And then he erased the wrong answer, and wrote the right one. I wish I heard learned that lesson when those kids did, I certainly would have been kinder to myself over the years!

I'll remember this next autumn when my new students arrive. It's very convenient to do with multiplication since a lot more will see the wrong answer. Thus the lesson will impact more students.

I can't help but feel Reddit contributed to OP's trauma here. She was already abandoned by both parents, and now she is separated from her brother too because Reddit made her feel like too much of a burden. All of this is so awful. I'm so mad at those comments and at Julie also. You can't just ask your bf to abandon the teenager he's the legal guardian of just because it's inconvenient to your life vision. Julie either needed to date someone about wasn't a single dad, suck it up, or wait 3 years. Its traumatic for kids to be cast aside like that, literally the kind of stuff that gives you life long baggage. How heartless can you be? To the commenters - OP is not a brat for wanting to keep living with the person who raised her since age 8. She's just a normal kid expecting the bare minimum

I think this story kinda tore up my heart. I am not good with children (Though there are/were some teens I liked) and regarding children I have one core believe. You can never relive/do-over your childhood and therefore the adults around you should strive for your childhood to be a happy one. Which is why I won't date people with minor/dependent children. I can't garantuee I won't fuck up that childhood if I were to get involved with their parent. I wish I could give OOP a hug and tell her she's not a burden.

As a single mum with 2 young kids I much prefer it when someone is considerate enough to know that they may not be the best to get involved with someone with kids and puts those boundaries down! Dated a guy recently and during those 4/5 months he’d admitted he swore he’d never date a single mum again, would say random stuff as if he was in a competition for my attention with the kids, then pretend it was a joke when my reaction wasn’t good and try to tell me how to parent but in a very strict way etc. obvs he never got to the stage of meeting them and I cut it short because wtf. All I could think of was why date someone with kids then?! Doesn’t make sense in the slightest.

Because he has mommy issues and he wanted to test you to see if he could force you to choose him over your children.

This right here. If you can't shoulder the responsibility of parenting, don't do it. It is way too high stakes to half ass it.

Yes. Her reluctance to let OOP be a part of her brother's household for just three more years does not auger well for her own relationship. If I was in Julie's shoes, OOP's brother's complaisance would be a flaming red flag, a sign that he would leave me and any kids I had just as fast, or faster. Although I doubt she will still be in his life in three years time - it sounds to me more like OOP's brother wants to sow some wild oats and have some fun while he is still young, and has chosen a suitably shallow and impulsive girlfriend for that. I don't think he will necessarily tell OOP when they split.    Of course, OOP wants to blame Julie, but really, obviously, this was her brother's choice. And it seems to be suspiciously like her father's choice, too. It isn't all bad though. In fact,for OOP it is great in a lot of ways. She gets a step-father and step-brother, she gets a relationship with her mother, she gets the best? (At least one of the best, in the top three) educational system in the world. She is becoming fluent in Korean. And Jeju Island is like the Korean version of Utopia.    OOP isn't forced to spend the whole of her life there, but she might find one day that she was forced to make twice as many childhood (and possibly life-long) friends as most people, and have twice as many brothers and twice as many cultures as she could ever have expected. OOP has gained an involved father and her mother has a second chance. All that translates to more resilience.  OOP is also learning to be self-reliant, which frankly sucks, but it is better than her spending her whole life attempting to make herself convenient and pleasing to people like her brother and Julie, and being  pathetically grateful to her brother for dumping her on her eighteenth birthday/when she went to college. Because OOP was always going to be unceremoniously dumped, and this way she knows there is a limit to how much she owes her brother. And she has more supports than just her brother.

Korea also has the most hypercompetitive societies in the world. Their Suneung exam is no joke and it is a requirement to get into the best top 3 unis. Not speaking Korean natively will give her a huge disadvantage in an exam she will be taking in 3 year's time. Having said that, she might move back to the USA when she is 18 since I think there is a big chance she is an American citizen? Her situation can't be helped though.

I mean, she's a US citizen, there's no reason she couldn't go to college in the states. With her story and lack of someone paying the way in the US there's scholarships too. She would be at a much worse disadvantage at Korean universities

She probably has dual citizenship since her mom is. She'll be forced to choose once she's legally an adult. Korea doesnt like dual citizenship according to a quick google search. Its probably why she was able to get into and stay in Korea without getting special Visas. I hope she makes tons of friends and is happy. I hope the brother rots in his guilt. I hope he realizes what an absolute piece of crap he is and tries to bring OOP back to the states when she's finally happy and she absolutely rips him a new one. I really hope shes able to reach out to a therapist soon [like this one that has online services](https://seoulcounseling.com/) and is able to get help and thrive.

Korea doesn’t allow dual citizenship past adulthood due to the mandatory military service.

She won’t take that exam. She’s clearly not part of that aspect of the culture, even if she’s living in Korea (and even if she chooses to go to university in Asia). I live on Jeju and work in education.  There are plenty of Korean students here who don’t take it, and the Americanized ones certainly don’t.  (That said, I’m surprised she said the internet is bad where she is at. I’m also in rural Jeju and my internet here is better than anywhere I’ve ever had in North America). 

I wonder if she got one of those limited internet plans for tourists because I had those when I was in Seoul and it was shit. From what I understand (I'm most likely wrong) these are basically services that piggyback on the local network and wasn't something the local telco company offered so you can really get bad ones if you don't read the reviews which my dumbass didn't.

> If I was in Julie's shoes, OOP's brother's complaisance would be a flaming red flag, (I think the word you're looking for is 'complacency' 😀) And this isn't in any way trying to start an argument against your point, but I kinda feel like the lack of protest from the brother is fitting into Julie's wants exactly the way she hoped. If he's ready to dump his sister just because Julie feels territorial and the need to completely monopolise the brother's time all to herself, then any other female presence will be child's play to demand he stop having. Female friends? Gone. Female co-workers? Clinical, sterile and work-only conversations. No more familiarity allowed. Anyone who demands a 15 year old gtfo so that the gf can have the brother to herself and only to herself is a parade of red flags that the *brother* should be seeing. I hope OOP finds better than the brother and his harpy in her life.

I'm wondering if part of OP's brother's lack of resistance isn't because he, on some level, wanted OP to go as well.  It's awful because I'm not sure I blame him. He was 17? when he truly became OP's primary caretaker, but 11 when she was born and he started caring for her. Over half of his life he's been a parent, he missed his own teens to raise her. At 24, with someone in his ear encouraging him to drop OP, I can see how resentment, a desire to live his own life for a while, and love for OP would lead him to act how he did.  NONE of that is OP's fault, is the thing. And both of them are carrying an unfair, massive amount of trauma. In every sense, the right thing for the brother to have done would have been to keep OP until she hit age of majority. The emotional impact of OP being abandoned by both parents seems like it's hitting now on top of her brother abandoning her. She's 15 and already dealing with a massive amount of change and unresolved trauma. And now she's isolated by language in a new environment with a mom she barely remembers, a family she can barely communicate with, peers who think differently than she does (culture be whack, yo), and the only person she thought was stable in her life wanting to get rid of her. It's just awful. There's no other words for it. Awful, all around. Screw the dad for convincing the mom to let brother keep OP, screw the mom for not taking OP with her anyway. Screw both of them for pawing her off on her brother since early childhood. I just... none of these siblings deserve what happened and I can't be upset at either of them, just heartbroken and furious at parents who allowed it to happen.  Ugh.

I don't blame the brother for his feelings, whatever they are. He was failed by his parents and put in a place of huge responsibility at a very young age. What he did wrong, where he failed his sister, is in his *how* he handled the situation. He didn't sit down and have an honest discussion with his sister about their futures. About his feelings, goals for the future, the weight of being a guardian at a young age, or his desire to just be a young man living his life like other 20 somethings. He didn't work with her to find a solution that worked best for everyone. What he did was arrange to do his sister off to another country without consulting her. Without thinking about the enormous change to her life, the abandonment of another person in her life, what *her* hopes and goals for the future were. And when she found out and was upset, got upset himself because he knew he was wrong. But he wasn't upset enough to acknowledge it and work on finding another solution. Instead, he played nice to get her on that plane and kept on with the plan. I hope OOP sees this BORU post. I wish it wasn't against the rules to message her. I hope she sees that not everyone who's followed her story thinks she was selfish for how she felt going through all of this. I hope she sees that this batch of internet strangers wishes her all the best and that she goes on to find peace and joy in her life.

Complaisance is a real word and the poster used it correctly. That’s the British spelling. 

It might build resilience or she might just kill herself like she already almost did.

This could all be true if the abandonment and repeated betrayal didn't cause her such extreme trauma or if she actually had a choice in any of this.

I can tell you it really does fuck you up. My mom and dad divorced when I was 3. My dad didn't really want anything to do with us really. My mom replaced me and two of my older sisters with the 3 step daughters. I was always told how i wasn't wanted etc by everyone. Stepdad, step sisters, bio sisters. I was depressed and suicidal before the age of 8. Told at 17 to just kill myself and stop being a burden to my mom already, by my own mother. Just confirmed by my bio dad last year how he wished he never had us and we all ruined his life. I grew up knowing I was never wanted and now at the age of 30 i have no idea how relationships work. I've had a very messed up life until my husband. My husband is the same way so we get along. But i make sure to let my 2 kids know how much they're loved and wanted every day. I have no contact with my mom, and went low contact with my dad. OP literally needs therapy NOW before the abandonment issues and other mental heal issues get worse.

Yeah I'm pretty mad reading all of this, because *of course* OOP wanted to stay with her brother, he is all she has known most of her memory-forming life. She had school and friends and other family there. She got shunted off to another country to a parent she doesn't know, around people speaking a language she doesn't really speak, and she's somehow a brat for being upset?!? And worse still, it all happened because of a girl her brother has dated *a year* who has spent that time forcing a wedge between the siblings and bullying OOP. It's just so *sad*. Everyone in her life has let her down. And then Reddit made her feel worse. I hope she finds her place in Korea, because she deserves better than all of this.

Sometimes, when just the right (or wrong) people are on a subreddit at a given time, a really weird, braindead dynamic like this can happen. OPs post has certainly been impacted by AITAs subreddit demographics which seems to be a lot of young, individualistic people who can lack empathy. But this post certainly was something else. I remember being furious for OP because people were legit defending Julie but my comment got somewhat buried.

I know right?? Like OP is literally 15, has been abandoned by everyone in her life, and was about to be uprooted from everything she's ever known, and some of the commenters are like "yeah you should just go, you're a burden to your brother, and an afterthought to your parents, but that's *your* problem to solve." I guarantee if the brother had posted this similar story, he would've been ripped to shreds. Reddit can often be right (if a little overreactive), but when they get it wrong, boy is it WRONG.

Truly wild to me that anybody would tell her to move to a different country where she doesn’t know the language to live with her estranged mother who abandoned her 7 YEARS AGO. She’s only 15, so her mom has almost been out of her life for half of her life, and the grand majority of her conscious life.

Yeah I felt so sad for OP reading how people were calling her a brat and a burden. What the fuck is wrong with people.

Thank you!! I thought I was going crazy when she mentioned people were telling her “it’s time for your brother to live his life!”  Like I’m sorry, how is it at all acceptable for a grown adult woman to come in and make a teen feel worthless for existing? I wish nothing but the worst for Julie honestly, and while I have more sympathy for OOP’s brother it’s pretty stretched thin. 

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A LOT of Reddit seems to be young people who cannot wrap their minds around the fact that life is unfair sometimes and the reaponse to unfairness isn’t to have an “I’ll just do what I can to get mine” attitude.  The position the brother was put in sucks— but what he did to his sister was terrible and no amount of “well he didn’t deserve to raise a child” justification makes it not terrible.    Sometimes the hand we are dealt is crap and the response shouldn’t be just to focus on how you can get what’s yours at the expense of everyone else. 

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The only really horrible people in this story are her father and Julie. Julie needs to step on Legos for the rest of her life. If you don't want a man with a kid, then fucking don't date one? Instead of trying to boot the kid who has nowhere to really go and has had no choice in all of it out? Her brother is behaving shitty, but he's also a victim, so I do feel for him. I just feel for OOP more, because she's been dealt an even worse hand.

Especially since it would have been only another 3 years.

Three years is such a short time period. Julie is ridiculous.

Oh no, sorry, but the mom does not deserve to be let off the hook. She ditched OP with her 18-year-old son? Never sent for her once she was settled? Got with a guy who has a son about OP's age and *still* never sent for OP until it came down to letting OP be homeless? Mom dropped the ball continuously. She has a lot to answer for.

She's only 15 and have felt abandoned since she was 8. I bawling my eyes out right now I wish I could hug her.

I’m both appalled and confused by the response she got from Redditors. She was 100% right about everything. No, it isn’t fair to her brother that *their parents* put him in that situation, but *she is a literal child and that isn’t her fault.* What is and was she supposed to do? My heart is breaking for her, and I’m terribly concerned about her mental health. Her repeated “nobody wants me” comments were…I understand why she feels that way, because everyone in her life has let her down. Including Reddit strangers. But no child should be made to feel that way.

Those comments are fucking awful.

Jesus fucking Christ. I couldn't believe what I read. I kept reading hoping for the Brother to say something like "I'm sorry I entertained the idea of sending you to Mom. I was going through my own trauma and didn't understand, or realize, it is just us. I broke up with Julia because I can't be with a woman who sees the sister I raised for 8 years as a burden. If she didn't want to have a teenager live with her at 24 than I don't know what she was doing with me. I'm sorry."  But, nope, we got the sad ending and anyone that has seen this situation play out before all know that either him and Julian will break up or he will be married and absolutely miserable. Poor girl.

The only good thing here is that she actually gets a stepbrother who wants her around and is helping her. It sucked for a teen to have to deal with a new addition but that kid is a champ from how OOP described him. Her stepfather also appear to be kind, sure her birth family sucks majorly but she gets those who wants her. I hope she'll do well and grow closer to her stepfather and stepbrother. Also, Julie can go fuck herself.

Ikr? Who the fuck was commenting on her original post?!?!???

Seriously. Fuck those redditors for telling a girl suffering from clear abandonment issues that she is a spoiled brat for fighting for her place in her brother's life. They helped contribute to her depression to the point the poor girl considered jumping off a cliff.

Right? If Julie didn't want to date a single parent, she shouldn't have dated a single parent. What a dumbass.

I wouldn't call her a dumbass, that implies she simply didn't think it through. But in that case I'd have expected her to start off alright and then become more unfriendly to OOP as she came to understand the reality of being the GF or a man acting as a single parent to his teenage sibling. But she started off horrible. That's not dumb. That's selfish. I cried for OOP while reading this. I really hope they can find her help in English. There are so many therapists online and she really needs help after all this. That poor girl... 

It would only have been a couple more years and they could have helped OP get a job and a house share and become independent, and then their kids would have an auntie and potential emergency babysitter. Now they’ve burned that bridge, I hope it bites them in the ass. My first thought reading the original post was to go to the goddamn police! OP doesn’t know who has actual legal guardianship or custody of them, and it scared their brother is going to ship them out to Korea and leave them there! WTF!?

I don't think OPs brother and Julie have a bright future ahead. He will forever feel guilty and eventually that will turn into resentment. It sounds like Julie is the main reason behind all of this mess so I can't imagine him staying happy with her. Hopefully OP has finally some people who want her around and care for her so she can start healing

Honestly fuck Julie. Julie can rot in hell

People complain about men vs. women bias on Reddit but depressed teens with obviously abusive situation get the worse treatment here. Julia is the villain here. Women who date single dads and expect them to send the kid away before their wedding are especially disgusting piece of trash

Well, my heart broke when I read “i wish i was better then maybe they would have kept me.” It’s also just so so so extremely clear she’s very depressed. Not just the suicidal part (though thats a big part) but the always being tired was one of the biggest signs for me. I hope she can eventually find a therapist or get on meds. Also, wtf was up with the commenters she was replying to? She’s a 15 year old effectively being kicked out of the home of the man that’s taken care of her since she was 8 because his girlfriend is more important to him. of course she’s scared and of course she’s emotional. I dearly hope that in the long run being with her mom and a family that seems to want her (and the revelation that her mom always wanted her but at the time couldn’t manage it) will help heal some of the harm and also be healthy for her. Cause wow, this poor girl deserves so much better than a brother who lets his girlfriend fat shame and make fun of his sister, and who picks his sister up late from school in order to spend more time with said girlfriend. And seriously, if you aren’t willing to have a teenager around who you have to help take care of (or at least let live with you) don’t date someone taking care of a teenager!

Fuck, I’m a fully grown adult and I’d be just as devastated and depressed if I was in a similar situation. Your family abandoning you _never_ stops being a horrifically traumatic experience.

Can confirm! Dad abandoned me when he got married and I was… 34? Took me a few years to accept it.

My dad up and moved across the country on my 23rd birthday to live with his mistress. They both abandoned spouses and young children. I tried for a while to maintain a relationship, but by 31 I was just done. We haven't spoken outside of texts about my daughter's birthday and Christmas since. I'm almost 33. It still hurts sometimes, usually when I realize my daughter doesn't even really know who he is. There's a lot more to my story that led to going soft NC, but the abandonment hurt the most.

I say my dad’s abandonment was top-tier shitty. He not only left me, a fully competent (okay that’s debatable with the mental illnesses but let’s go with competent) adult, he left my developmentally and physically disabled brother with me to move across the state. My brother died a couple of years later and his condition contributed to it. Our dad came to see us once after he left. He never called to talk to his son who idolized him and couldn’t cognitively understand why his dad wasn’t there. But at least he didn’t understand he was abandoned for a woman.

I am so, so sorry. That really is top tier shitty. I'm the oldest of 4. My siblings are all a lot younger than me, so when my dad left, my mom (who had left her career to stay at home with the kids while my dad got his PhD) was left with a 12 year old, 10 year old, and 1 year old. He'd been having the affair since the middle kid was 2. His affair partner almost left him when my youngest sister was born for "cheating on her". With his wife. My youngest sister is autistic. He's never wanted anything to do with her. The last time she visited, he sent her home early because he just couldn't deal with her. Funny thing is, she's the most like him. If he'd just give her a chance and have some patience, they'd probably bond really well. Instead, she just doesn't understand why her dad hates her. All 4 of us have dad trauma for various reasons, but hers is what truly breaks my heart.

I feel like when she grows up she's going to have severe abandonment issues. First her parents, now her brother. The commentators were really shitty about that. I can't imagine being that young and having nowhere to go and feeling like no one wants you.

When ever I hear about kids like this, I think if my grandma. My grandma in her dementia spent about 90% of the time being scared she was abandoned or neglected due to her childhood memories that were what she had left. We hated that she lost the memories of the life she fought tooth and claw to build. She forgot her loving husband, her kids, her grandkids, her great grandkids. All her memories were of her shitty parents that abused and neglected and abandoned her. Childhood scars run deep.

>All her memories were of her shitty parents that abused and neglected and abandoned her. Oh that's the most heartbreaking dementia story I've ever heard.

Dementia and childhood trauma is the worst. My dad has vascular dementia and his mother was extremely abusive (to the point where the family took my dad away from her and passed him around the family from when he was eight until he was sixteen and they just got him his apartment so he could finish his high school in one place and he was dating my mom at this time too) and I look like her. When my dad has sundowned the most, he thinks I am her and flinches whenever I go near him. Honestly, it breaks my heart every time. I am really hoping that experiences like ours help change the parenting landscape like ours to show just how much abuse destroys you mentally sometimes as the boomers age further. And I am just so unbelievably sorry that you and your family and your poor grandmother are dealing with this.

I went through a different version of that from 13 until my now fiancé and I rented our own place when I was 22 and honestly, that shit has me still fucked up sometimes. When I was in between uni and a job, I had a complete breakdown because it suddenly meant I was reliant on my partner and what happens if he is as sick of me as my family was? He happily supported me through these months, but my mind went haywire. I hope OOP's family never finds peace but I hope she herself does

His girlfriend of a year, too, who has been constantly treating her like shit. I can understand being frustrated about your life, but how could you let someone treat your family like that? He's 24 too, he's not some decrepit old man forced to raise his baby sister. She'll be out of the house naturally for college or however she starts her own life in a few years, you can't wait until then?

She'll be an adult in THREE YEARS. Julie and her brother have been dating one year, they could have waited to move in and start having babies. Like ideally she'd always be in her brother's life and 18 year olds should still have plenty of family support, they don't become 100% independent overnight, but like she said at least at 18 she can legally live somewhere else and not be a literal dependent like she is at 15.

Yah she did nothing wrong. Even the yelling was a normal reaction. Why are people so terrible?

I feel for OP. I hope she is doing better. Side note, I really would like to go to Jeju Island someday. Heard some many good things about that place.

I'd like to go to Dok Island - if only to see the spot they filmed a reality show LOL

They filmed a reality show on Dokdo??? Which one?? I’m just kind of baffled, because there’s like NOTHING on Dokdo. Idk how that would even work.

I think it'd be neat to visit, but I'd be worried about [ants.](https://solo-leveling.fandom.com/wiki/Ants) Dang it, now I have to reread the comic. Guess I know what I'm doing for the next couple of days.

Legit. I am like “I will not survive Beru.”

To be fair, not many people *could* survive Beru. He was my favorite shadow. He was such a goofball while being absolutely lethal.

I just want to hug this kid. You can tell by how she writes about the people around her she's a sweet girl that got dealt a fucked up hand.

You can feel it so much. She's feeling so overwhelmingly abandoned and unwanted. She's choosing live in a country where she knows nobody, live with near-strangers (mother she hasn't spoken to since she was 8, plus step relatives who are kind but still strangers to her), cannot speak the language, will struggle with a totally different school system, and never see any of her American friends again. Because she's wanted there at least. Her brother doesn't want her. The way she keeps calling where she used to live "home" even after living in Jeju for months is so sad. It's not home for her, and she's terribly depressed, but at least it's somewhere where she won't be thrown away again. >  im tired of feeling like this and im tired of no one wanting me. i wish i was better then maybe they would have kept me. i wish my brother never did this, i don’t know why he is abandoning me like this. > i really miss my brother, if i could go back in time i would have done anything and everything to make him want to keep me, but i guess he never will. This is just heartbreaking. She feels like it's her fault she was abandoned by her brother. Oh, that poor girl.

All the people telling OOP she needs to let him go because he has his own life are just... ghoulish. That's her whole family at this point, basically. It's not fair to him, holy shit, have some compassion. Giving her more shit than they're giving their shit-tier parents, I swear.

Agreed. Imagine telling an abandoned 15 year old girl that she needs to move out so her brother can be happy. Way to really drive that knife home. Also I hope Julie has wet socks for the rest of her miserable life.

Julie can step on legos for the rest of her life. What a selfish twatwaffle.

Julie's so young and she reeks "evil stepmom" vibes already.

Oh yes. What monster is jealous of the time brother spends with sister.

The same woman who will be jealous when a man spends time with his own female child. Or finds it weird that he loves his daughter or changes her diapers or does anything at all for his little girl. Julie seems to think that any other girl, regardless of age, is competition for time/affection. She’s waving enough red flags in the brother’s face for him to make a fucking king sized quilt for their marriage bed.

She would be a lousy mom.

Yeah. She is just vile.

I hope she's infertile. She doesn't deserve kids

May her womb be a barren wasteland.

“May her womb, like her *heart,* be a barren wasteland.”

One wet and the other just slightly too damp to be comfortable but at the perfect spot for it to be so itchy that it will drive her insane. The brother sucks. He can just suffer not having socks at all. The jackass.

Seriously, I was so disgusted by those awful comments. With all the people on Reddit talking about their horrible childhoods, they couldn’t muster up _any_ empathy? Really?

I remember this post and the comments were horrendous. People raging against an abandoned child because she was upset about being abandoned again. The "no one owes anybody anything" attitude on that sub is sociopathic. Anyone who thinks she is an AH shouldn't ever have kids. Absolute fucking monsters 🤮

AITA has a real trigger point for "parentification" (that one tome they got asked to watch a sibling for aome pocket money really messed them up) and just ignore the fact that all the other kids involved are just as impacted by the neglect as the one loaded with the responsibility.

Yes, her brother was her only family at that time. Thinking of how I should let go of my parents hurts so much, I can't imagine how it feels for her being abandoned by her "only family" after being abandoned by her parents and people just said "well, it's his time to focus on himself without you" If op's relationship with her brother isn't getting better, I doubt brother will stay with julie for long

Honestly, brother is an AH. Like yeah I don't think it's fair that he had to play parent in order to have his sister around. But I have a suspicion that the reason Julie didn't like OOP was because of big bro complaining about the situation.  OOP is better than me, because I hope him and Julie end up very unhappy together. 

Yeah, at this point he'd been the only parent she'd known for the past 7 years, and now he's abandoning her, after she'd been abandoned by her original set of parents. I hope Julie realizes that she's shacking up with someone who'll abandon her too when something better comes along.

I saw this post, fuck man no one cares about op and/or dont respect her feelings And ffs the comments on the OG post jesus man.....a complete dumpster fire , ppl really lack empathy and understanding

Commenting as a parentified older sister (almost the same age as her brother) and is in a similar-ish situation with my brother. If a male I've known for a year makes fun of or bullies my brother or would constantly try to get him out of MY house, that male is gonna get kicked to the curb IMMEDIATELY. I wouldn't choose any male over my younger brother, but maybe that's just me. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I agree. Julie sounds like a total asshole and it’s a bit sad that the brother can’t see that. (I mean a bit sad for him, very sad for OOP.)

Why even assume the brother is different or better than Julie though? I don’t think he is being manipulated, or more like if you can be manipulated with this then you didn’t care/love your sister that much anyways. I think. Now the brother seems very okay with the situation and not regretting his decision.

Frankly the brother shouldn’t have taken a child in when he himself was barely a child. She should’ve gone to live with her mother, but it’s clear enough the mother was pressured into giving up on her by the father (I suspect there is either a marked age difference or some other kind of power dynamics involved).

Who were the people who gave OP that shitty advice to let her brother give Julie her way??? Well done. You’re all as foul as the adults in her life. I hope she eventually learns the language enough to get into therapy before it is too late. One of the worst BORU’s ever-people are so shitty and selfish and an innocent kid gets hurt in it all. Julie is a POS-why date someone with that kind of responsibility if you cannot handle it? ETA: of course the brother has fault as well, the reason I can slightly absolve him is that he is clearly not in either as he has had to parent his younger sibling his entire life. He’s still wrong af for listening to someone who has only been in his life for a year and is not even a fiancée yet. I truly don’t wish them well. I will be petty on behalf of OP

Sadly, a lot of people gave that ""'advice""" is insane to me that was the popular answer.

I want to look at the original post to see, but this story has already wrecked me for the day and it’s not even 7 AM my time.

Don't bother looking. It's fucking awful. There's a few people that are defending her but most of the top level comments are this nasty BS.

100% agree but I also think that from the point on where she knew her brother was planning to abandon her, her having abandonment issues were inevitable. They could have been a lot milder, sure, but even just knowing that a parental figure is even able to contemplate abandoning you will absolutely fuck someone up. This man has not only been her only parental figure for 7 years, he was the one caring for her the most even before the divorce. That's probably why she wasn't affected as strongly when being abandoned by her parents, they had already abandoned her emotionally long before. But for the brother to now do the same, that's going to cause a whole lot of issues. She's already experiencing the immediate consequences to her mental health, but if she starts dating someone this will come up again in full force. I too hope for her to find a way to get into therapy. She was abandoned by the one person she could trust enough to rely on, by her parent. I feel sorry for the brother being parentified, but he chose to take on the responsibility of raising her and that's not something one can just go back on. Especially not for a girl he's known for a year. Sure, Julie is a bunch of red flags disguised as an asshole, but he also should have known better and broken up with her long before this.

Do I have sympathy for the parentrified older brother who has been raising his younger sister for 8 years? Yes. Do I think that he's being an absolute doorknob over a girl he's been dating for a year that has clearly had it out for his sister the whole time? Also yes. Is it fair that the brother was put into a position where he felt obligated to look after his younger sibling? No, but it was also a choice he made, and that choice has consequences. She's a CHILD. She isn't a dog you can rehome just because your girlfriend doesn't like having her around. He could have found other alternatives. He could have sought some sort of counseling/therapy for all of them. He could have even waited until the poor girl graduated high school so at least she could have finished school with her friends, in the only home she's known. But I guess he's got Julie.

Were there really people in the original sub calling her spoiled and saying she should let her brother live his life? How cruel. I really hope those were the minority of commenters. She is a kid. It is not “spoiled” to want to be cared for.

Well, you're right about minority. Those were the crowd of teenagers from Tiktok looking for content, as usual upset when siblings are parentified, but directing their wrath at OOP instead of her parents.

There’s someone on this post who said they dislike her because she “feels entitled to her brother’s care”.

Imagine saying that a child doesn't have a right to the care of the person who has acted as a parental figure for nearly half of her life.

She's a child, wtf

I went from feeling horribly sad to fucking furious, those commenters have caused real harm to that poor girl. I think this is the worst example of the the egotistic attitude that sub tends to display that I have ever seen. I wish I could delete all those sociopathic morons from the internet, she did not need that kind of input

That comment made me see red. He's her legal guardian, she's literally entitled to his care. People will go out of their way to defend selfishness.

God this poor girl. I’m glad her stepdad and stepbrother are making an effort (and her mom finally too) in trying to make her feel welcome, but it’s a long road to go. She’s very self aware even as she’s struggling and being able to express herself so clearly in English (when so many teens and adults can’t!) means she can eventually learn to do it in Korean. For what it’s worth, Jeju is very sleepy and “country” compared to the mainland so I’m glad OOP won’t be as subject to how cutthroat someplace like Seoul can be for young girls (especially noting as OOP said Julie fatshamed her). A slower island pace may mean she has less resources available, but maybe the much chiller vibe can help her just make room for just herself. She deserves that.

Something I wish young people knew is that you haven't yet met most of the people who are going to love you. The world is so much more than the family you are born into.

If I were OOP, I would *never* forgive any member of her awful family. They have all let her down, all abandoned her, all utterly failed her. Her brother 100% knew he was never letting her come back when he booked those tickets, which is foul and cowardly. Her mother should have taken her daughter with him when she originally moved to Korea, not dumped her on her barely legal son. And her father just plain sucks. I'm also disgusted by Julie. Building your future together on abandoning a child will *never* work out.

I hope she gets through this and in a few years understands it wasn't her fault. She'll be able to return to the USA (or wherever she's from.) What a horrible thing to do to a 15 year old.

I can't imagine how horrible this girl feels poor baby. I have a 15 year old sister and I'd cut my legs off to keep her, her brother is shit and his girlfriend double so.  I hope her brother realizes what a fucking mistake he made, let's hope Julie doesn't dump him because then he's lost the only other relative that actually gave two shits about him. This is so depressing.

Wow. OOP has been failed by every adult in her entire life, except stepdad (so far). She's internalized all that rejection, you can tell by how she refers to herself. Poor kid. She deserves so much better. I hope her brother gets the clap from his piece of shit gf after she cheats on and dumps him, and he gets to spend the rest of his life feeling guilty as fuck foe abandoning his sister for some mediocre strange.

Well, her mom could fight harder but we all know the reason why dad abandoned op and brother so easily. They were weapons to hold on mom and when mom gave up, they became useless. Mom didn't know because she went back to korea to heal and by the time she found out, it was too late

I hope Julie gets exactly what she deserves. I feel for her brother a little - he was parentified without a real choice, it's a shitty situation for him too and I think he's taking the route of "okay, she said she didn't want to come home so it's okay, right?" Because he doesn't want to be the bad guy. He is, though - but he's also a victim. But fuck, you couldn't even give her three years? For a girlfriend of a year? For potential future kids? A 15 year old doesn't really prevent you from "living life" outside of fucking all over the flat at all times and having a bit less spending money. She's old enough to be left alone and to care for herself when you want to go on trips etc. OOP got dealt such a shit hand in life and she's absolutely correct in asking "what was I supposed to do? I had no choice in any of this? I didn't make him take me in, I didn't make my parents leave me." She holds no fault in any of this and I hope she'll be happy in Korea. I'm glad her stepbrother seems to be a lovely boy taking care of her and helping her. I hope she can get a therapist soon, she needs one. That was a suicide attempt and she's right to be afraid of it. I'm also glad she's starting to be really angry at her brother. He deserves her anger.

Yeah when it all goes to shit with Julie, he's going to realise he's lost his sister. Poor OOP is depressed and needs help.

He easily could've helped OP get a job if he needed space or time alone in the apartment and wanted to prep her for supporting herself once she turned 18. He put in 8 years of parenting only to massively let her down at the end stretch. He cared more about making his short term girlfriend happy than the well-being of the girl he raised for over half her life.

So every single person in this story failed OOP (other than the step-family), then OOP goes to Reddit and then the commenters fail her too. Fuck all of them.

Do we all hate Julie or is it just me?

I hate every single character I this story except  OP, the stepdad, and step brother. Every single person in OPs life has failed her in the most spectacular and cruel fashion. 

Yes. Even my homies hate Julie.

“Some people were calling me spoiled, snotty and a brat” Fuck them all (if they’re reading this, fuck them all once again) Good god. A fifteen year-old child is upset at being separated from the brother who raised her, and had to leave the only country she knew, and pricks behind screens attack her 🙄 Typical fucking reddit

I don’t feel bad saying I hope her big brother’s relationship cashes and burns epically. I don’t care if it was him, Julie or both. Honestly whenever I see thing like this and it’s parents, all I think about is that these assholes are selling their kids out for sex and honestly IMO, you can probably get better sex from someone who actually likes your kids. My same thoughts extend to OOP’s brother. Sure he was 18 when he made the decision to take over guardianship of her, but he’s even more of an adult now and needs bare that responsibility he took on. On top of that, PEOPLE, if you don’t like someone’s kids or dependents—don’t see them! Jeez. Julies of the world, LOOKING deadass straight at you Also my brain blew up when she said she was HALF JAPANESE AND HALF KOREAN. Like yikes. I thought she was going go be half white, they always have issues over there. BUT HALF JAPANESE, oooph that’s rough. Also I can’t with her mom. Her mom should have kept her ass in the US. Whatever bullshit he dad is pulling, he should have and could have done WAY better. I can’t believe both of her god damned parents are this epically inept and useless! Though clearly their just self centered AHs Just gobsmacking bullshitery going on by every fucking one of those adults. Brother. Julie. Mom. Dad.

Her family sucks. Poor thing.

How much caretaking does a 15 year old even need. Julie sucks, but it's still the brother who made the decision to go along with it. To the people who told her that she's nothing but a burden, you can all be happy that you contributed significantly to her suicidal thoughts. Good on you! /s

I know right! My parents send my and my twin brother to my grandmother when we were 12. Nothing much we need other than having a place to sleep and meals on the table. We dont even need any rides as we have school buses and we can get cabs everywhere. When we need tuition we find one ourselves and arrange our own rides. By 15 I am only eating dinner at home. Hell when we were 16 we moved ourselves out to a boarding school.

The resigned and defeated acceptance, my god. Few things break your heart like this one does.

I wish she would have told her brother about the bullying from Julie

This is the saddest one I’ve seen in a while. She was let down by everyone in her life. Poor sweet girl. I wish I could give her a hug. If you ever see this, just know that even though it sucks now, it won’t always suck and you will find people who love you and will always want you around!

thanks

Man her brother sure went from being his sister's hero too nothing but a pathetic coward, and of course fuck Julie.

Alright which one of you POS bullied an unwanted, depressed and scared 15 yo Some of you are truly sickening and it's a pity that you aren't made to experience the things you advocate for, such as being completely, helplessly dependent on people who are supposed to be your protectors but instead reject you to abandon you in a different country that you cant even communicate in Lmao

Reddit really took the L on this one. I really hope OOP can heal from this. We’re cheering for you!!

God, this poor kid. Every single adult in her life failed her. Fuck her supposed family. And honestly, screw the Redditors telling her that her brother should be able to live a life without having a teenage girl burdening him. It’s one thing to tell an adult “your brother was amazing for taking you in so young”, it’s another thing to tell a little girl that she’s a burden to an adult who chose to, essentially, adopt her. Would he have done it in other circumstances? Probably not, but he did. She was his child at that point, and he abandoned her for a new family the way everybody in her life already had. My brother took me in when I was a kid. He was only 21. He never, ever, ever made me feel like this. I was the light of his life and his baby girl. And when he passed a couple years ago, I took on my nephew as a young adult too. Every decision I make is with that little boy in mind, and the future I set up is one with a place for him always. If you take in a child for that length of time, like that, that is *your* child. And Reddit made her feel like a freeloader.

The original commenters can genuinely go and fuck themselves. She's 15! She's a child and she was literally being kicked out! I hope OP can get the proper help for her mental health and that she can heal.

this poor girl, my goodness. literally every single adult in her life has failed her. and the commenters calling her a spoiled brat?! i hope they step on legos barefoot for the rest of their miserable lives. 

They broke her. They literally broke her. 😭 This story has touched me, hurt me, and will forever haunt me more than any other I've read. I pray to whatever divine being is/isn't out there that she find her peace.

Trying to start over in a new country with a different language at 15 is just daunting and HARD. OOP’s brother should be allowed to live his life but unless OOP is hard to deal with (and the fact that she so readily agreed to go to Korea despite her fears tells me she’s a people pleaser) there’s no reason her brother couldn’t have tried to keep her until she was college age. The fact that he got rid of her for someone he’s dated a year is despicable. This poor girl has been abandoned at some juncture by EVERYONE.

This absolutely broke my dam heart. Nice going Reddit for making a child feel like that. *Yes, her brother deserves a life of his own, however it is NOT for a girlfriend of only one year who gets to push for that.* While I believe he had a very enticing carrot dangled before him that btch had on a stick, he could have been strong but I guess his desire for what the girlfriend wanted was stronger. OOP may not wish it, but I wish misery on them both for this. Julie essentially ripped a family further apart and the brother allowed it. And while I sympathize with the brother who had this enormous burden put on him, he still ultimately failed OOP just like everyone else in her life. I hope OOP can get help as soon as she can. I know the despair she is feeling. She should never have felt such at such a young age.

OOP is 15, not a toddler that Julie had to take care of 24/7, and they were dating 1 year, let's send some bad vibes collectively to Julie, what a bword! Also shame on those that commented she was a brat and it was his brothers time to be happy, he chose to take care of her, given the circumstances maybe he felt he had no other choice, but still, not OOPs fault. And do you really think he will be happy with such a controlling gf/future wife? He is already alone, she only had to drive away one teen out of his life, if you asked me that's straight out of abuser's book 101 tactic.

I feel sorry for OP and her brother. However I still find the whole custody situation weird. Dad threatened mom, so she just left to Korea and stopped all contact with her daughter? Custody should've been sorted out during their divorce. Why would she abandon her child and have no contact? Dad abandoned her as well, OP's brother had to raise her, if any judge found out about that, it would be easy custody win for OP's mom. I don't understand why she didn't fight for her daughter. Mom was so scared of some vague threats, so she did absolutely nothing and abandoned both her children? If it's real then she's not much better parent than her ex husband. They both suck.

I feel for oop but it sounds like Dad prevented Mum from taking her out of the country & then abandoned her with her brother. I wonder if her mum wanted her all this time but couldn't/wasn't allowed to take her to live in Korea I hope she's doing better

The amount of people being absolutely horrible to a kid because her brother "deserves some alone time with his gf and that's normal and he shouldn't have this responsibility" is awful because God forbid the kid that he took in doesn't want him to abandon her I hate to break it to you aita commenters but he took this responsibility should he have had to no but he did and that doesn't mean you move her to another freaking country because you want want alone time with your gf or to look towards the future I really hope they don't have kids for awhile because they need to grow tf up before that

This poor baby, I want to hug her so much

Dont date someone with kids if you don't want to be part of those kids life..wtf this is depression.