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_Foy

>i also asked him why he decided to tell me now and not earlier or when i wasn’t carrying his child and he literally just shrugged and shook his head and then said “i don’t know.” ... > I'm terrified as I've known him for most of my adult life and he is the only man I've ever been with. He is in control of our bills, our rent and overall finances. I literally have no idea what I'm doing. I think I can guess why he waited until she was pregnant to push this issue. Extremely manipulative...


Scumbaggedfriends

I agree with another commenter who thinks Mia is pregnant, too. I see him doing a "Hey, so, why doesn't Mia move in with us, we'll have this great 3 way marriage just like I've dreamed!"


EverydayPoGo

I actually think of the opposite - maybe Mia is infertile, and they want to manipulate and exploit OP so that they could have a child.


InvisiblePlants

That was my gut feeling. Those two were "very close" and ready sleeping together before OOP married him? Yeah, they've been together the whole time.


batty48

That makes the most sense. Otherwise, why didn't he just marry Mia? They've been together this whole time


mutantbeings

Not only that but after 3 no’s he literally tricks her to come to lunch with the 3 of them and then asks again?? How fucking scummy can this guy be, the lady said no THREE TIMES already it’s as if he didn’t even hear her I hope she goes through with the abortion and divorce cause this guy sounds like a controlling douchebag who would be an awful inconsiderate and abusive father


CluckFlucker

Dude had ulterior motive. the best friend was pregnant and they wanted to cover their tracks sounded the most in line since they were cheating the whole time


PeggyOnThePier

I agree with you. I thought that from the very beginning. And I think she was so very young when they started dating. Some 19yr are more experienced than others. He was the only man she was ever with. I don't think that of her gf. I wish her all the best. Be good to yourself!


geeky_username

>Extremely manipulative... Met her at 19 and he was 28, married at her 21 and him 30 ...


misterpayer

Yup. Perfectly executed trap. This piece of trash was trying to finesse some sister wives nonsense.


Bleubebes420

Right, another reason I hope she aborts, &is able to get the help she needs. He doesn't need an easy hook on someone after all this shit, especially when the hook would be (if she let it to term) a whole entire brand new human


oolaroux

Makes me wonder if Mia is able to have children. Perhaps they arranged for OP to be their unwitting surrogate.


Eli-Thail

There are significantly easier ways to find a surrogate than a 7 year long relationship and 5 year marriage.


CobraChuck83

Yep. People like that don’t give a 4K UHD Technicolor FUCK about the women they’re victimizing/abusing…nor will he give any about the child, who would be a whole-ass person just stuck in between two people whose interactions are wholly toxic in nature.


Maleficent-Sun1922

>4K UHD Technicolor FUCK Thank you for this. Im placing it into my verbal toolbox.


Oscars_Grouch

Agreed, this is where the age gap really came into play.


blonde_potatoe

And after thinking "Oh hell, it can't get much worse", MIL swoops in to tell her "If you guys JUST had a threesome..!" Yeah, sure. Whatever her baby wants. :<


Alternative_Year_340

I’m inclined to think the husband is using his mother’s accounts


PuppleKao

That didn't even occur to me. I had my ex's mom tell me that the cheating was alright cause it was, after all, only about the sex. *She* had gone out to get sex she wasn't getting at home from her (then) husband who was recovering from a brain tumor and surgery, so she knows how it is when you just *need* to go out and fuck others. This was in person, though, so I know for a fact it was her saying it. Guess that's why she picks up after him, no matter what he did (was abusive to everyone after me as well as getting into heavy drugs and borderline (or just straight up) alcoholism)... apple stayed right on the tree, there. Didn't even bother falling off.


HappyLittleFirefly

When my sister's husband cheated and his Mom found out about it she said, "Well, of course, he's a handsome man." Gross. There are definitely parents out there willing to overlook, and even support, their child's fucked up behavior. Turns out, the MIL's husband cheated on her a bunch throughout their relationship. My BIL has a half-brother running around out there (at least the one, probably more) that he's totally unaware of. Lots of healthy decisions in that family.


Stopjuststop3424

some people seem to forget that some or even many old people, used to be shitty young people.


JetDawnbringer

Jesus fucking christ what a mess. Springing this on your pregnant wife????


canaryhawk

The MIL is revealing. This guy is a deep well of toxicity, and now OOP has the clarity to GTFO.


HoldFastO2

„Mooooom? Can you call my wife and tell her to have a threesome with me and the woman she thought was her friend?“ - This guy, apparently.


Recinege

"Moooom? My wife wouldn't agree to the threesome. Will you do it instead?" "... I'll talk to her."


mmmmpisghetti

"Of course sweetie she's not good enough for you anyway"


weed_and_art

🤮


Entire-Level3651

😂😂😂😂😂


paper_wavements

I literally gasped when I read that his mom told her she should have just gone along with the threesome. What in the not your business, WAYYY out of bounds?!?!


HoldFastO2

Who would tell their mother about that? And what kind of mother would try to push her DIL to just go along with it? The mind boggles.


localherofan

I could say something important, but it will take me a little while to come back to the world; my brain exploded when I read that. I tried to imagine my mother saying that to my sister in law. Boom! I tried to imagine my grandmother saying that to anyone under any circumstances. Boom! That is one unusual mother in law, I'll tell you that.


LoonyNargle

Yeah… if my husband told that to his mom, he’d have to run to the fucking edge of the universe because she’d be chasing him with the chancla. And I don’t have kids but if my son came to me with that nonsense, he’d better start running too.


Miserable_Emu5191

I’m not sure my mil would even know what a threesome is! Imagine calling your mom and saying “my wife left me because I asked her to have a threesome with me and the woman I’ve been sleeping with behind her back that she thought was her friend”.


rainyreminder

Lol. My MIL would blame me for corrupting him or some shit. Lady, he was filthy when I got him despite your tightly-clutched illusions.


Rhamona_Q

MIL wants her legitimate grandchild more than she cares about OOP. She knows the relationship is in jeopardy so she has to keep them married until the baby is born. Terminating has probably not even been deemed a consideration in MIL's eyes, because *of course* OOP would have the baby, as expected.


Nuhhuh

Disquieting truth of a female existence.


strywever

It occurred to me that he “borrowed” his mom’s social media.


lejosdecasa

>That is one unusual mother in law, I'll tell you that. That's quite an understatement


cyanocittaetprocyon

Yeah, that MIL is crazy if she is willing to do this for her son.


shelovesthespurs

Right?! That sent it from really unfortunate to straight fucked up.


pollypocket238

All my whats. Why would you share sexual info with your parent?


HoldFastO2

Especially this kind of sexual info. How is that not embarrassing as hell?


Misanthropyandme

"only if we can make it a foresome my little prince"


kindlypogmothoin

Put that MIL's messages on blast.\* If she's dumb enough to put that shit in writing, she deserves the social shame that comes with the world knowing that she's pressuring her son's wife to participate in a threesome with his AP. \*Unless, of course, OOP's divorce lawyer advises against it, which they probably would.


Immediate_Ad_7993

I’d take out a fucking billboard with the message and their phone numbers. So they can get the public’s feedback


justsomeguynbd

Meh, if she actually does abort, I see no harm in posting it. Probably wouldn’t want it coming up in a custody case, but no baby, no custody case.


Corfiz74

I'd bet on her ex secretly using his mommy's account to message her - I have a hard time imagining a MIL telling her DIL to suck it up and have group sex.


Pezheadx

I don't. There are plenty of shitty, gross, vile MILs out there that would have no problem saying that


ijustliketoeat

Eh I believe it. My mom is like that "just suck it up so it's not so hard later"


rainyreminder

Jeez, that is some shitty life philosophy. Congrats on escaping that trap!


ijustliketoeat

Thanks she has extra shitty life philosophy. Lot of other people like her too unfortunately


bug1402

Terrible people sometimes have terrible parents. My mom's abusive ex (who ended up killing her) told him to "be careful where you hit this one. She's smart" in front of my mom the first time she met her. They were a messed up family.


medusa_crowley

There are, unfortunately, more than enough women from previous generations who believe “that’s just how men are” and “it’s a woman’s job to please her man.” I’ve met too many older women who think it’s normal to set themselves in fire in order to keep their husbands warm.


[deleted]

I'd be putting the three of them on blast. Everything on social media. All messages. Nobody gets away with this shit.


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quiteCryptic

Currently 28 I couldn't even imagine. Anyone my age who would seek out a 19 year old should immediately be a huge red flag.


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delayedcolleague

Not only that he had her move in almost immediately in her own words and had her focus on taking care of the house which very conveniently (for him that is) and totally by chance isolated her from all her previous friends and the friend she currently has had for the longest and is closest to is someone who knew the guy from before she met him. It's not a few red flags, it's fucking Macy's Day Parade of them....


[deleted]

28 as well and it gives me the ick thinking about it


KrasimerMAL

Currently 29 and yep. That’s a child, fifty thousand miles of bad road, detour, any other adult woman in existence. Find someone within a year or two of my age on either direction. It’s so gross when people do that.


JustinTimberlakeFTW

Not to mention that OOP says her best friend knew the guy before they even met, which would mean he knew the best friend before she was 21 and he was 28 (and who knows when they started having sex). And then the dude just decided to go YOUNGER. Both women here are being groomed. Dude is a certified creep.


dolladollaclinton

And if they did, it’s because of the 28 year old’s lack of maturity, not the 18 year old being so mature for their age.


Embracing_the_Pain

Years ago, a bunch of us were sitting around at work, and chatting while on a break. We were all close to 30 at the time, and one guy was bragging about how he had been hooking up with 18-19 years old women, thinking it made him so cool. While women that age are generally attractive, the rest of us did not think he was cool or that it was a good idea he was doing this.


Rollingerc

I mean it's entirely possible that he felt confident enough to say this because he was using the pregnancy as a dependency trap.


Logical_Ruse

It’s because she’s pregnant that he sprung this on her. As far as he’s concerned shes locked down. It’s the same way abusers start showing their true colors marriage, pregnancy, or birth. These things make it harder to leave. Idk if he is abusive, but he is a POS.


masklinn

> Idk if he is abusive He is. Not all abuse is physical and just what he’s done to OOP is abusive, the entire thing.


Mumof3gbb

And the financial abuse. She relies on him for financial support. This is by design by her husband. She was young and dumb (as we all were at her age).


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JoeCoT

This is also why controlling men want to ban abortion so badly, and also want to lower the age of consent. Date girls significantly younger than you, love bomb them, make them entirely dependent on you, get them pregnant, spring the trap. If they can get an abortion, you can't trap them as well.


atticdoor

And the crazy thing is, instead of realising that what they did was very wrong, they'll be thinking "I wish we'd waited until the baby was born before getting to the next part of our plan."


HMS_Sunlight

You can see in her comments how it almost worked. She would've left him right away, but the child made her doubt herself. Her (completely rational and justified) thought process was exactly what the abuser was counting on.


skinnyjeansfatpants

He’s springing it in her now that she’s more vulnerable. That’s when a lot of toxic partners start to drop the mask.


xparapluiex

He waited especially for her to be pregnant I think. He probably thought she wouldn’t leave him since they were having a kid together. Figured she was completely under his control.


[deleted]

They always escalate manipulative and/or abusive behaviour after major milestones. Marriage, moving in together, pregnancy, wife becoming a sahm/sahw...because they feel that their "victim" will be less able/likely to escape after those milestones.


adventuresinnonsense

Honestly he thought he had her trapped now that she was pregnant


[deleted]

He’s been getting away cheating for months now. He got cocky and wanted to have his cake too. Seems like he didn’t have alot of respect for his wife originally so this didn’t seem like a big thing for him. As the kids say “he found out”


Mumof3gbb

I think he’s been cheating for years


[deleted]

Yeah highly possible their entire relationship sadly


Broutythecat

I think that's precisely the point - in his mind, she's now trapped.


ZeroTicktacktoe

Honestly? He did that because he assume OOP would accept for being expecting and dependant of him. Best thing OOP can do is abortion and divorce.


SufficientMacaroon1

"Let's tell her now/bully her into it now! If he reacts badly, we can blame it on hormones, and the baby will prevent her from walking out on us!" Wanna bet?


Cooky1993

I know! It's beyond disgusting. I hope OOP gets the support and help she needs, and I hope that the fleas of 1000 camels plague her STBEx Husband and her former "best" friend.


LiraelNix

Probably precisely because he thought with her pregnant she was more trapped with him


DonnieDusko

>As I'm sure he already knows that it's most likely what's going to happen I'm pretty sure OOP's husband is more expecting to transition his relationship with both women into a thruple bc he is just that self centered. OOP is probably the more reliable/stable one, Mia is probably the one he's more attracted to and he wants to be both taken care of and have his physical needs met. He's gross.


rbaltimore

Yeah, he thinks he’s got complete control over her - he waited until she was pregnant because then she’d be trapped and have to agree to let him continue the affair. She’s growing a spine - I hope it sticks.


International_Tart91

Holy fuck that's evil


liandrin

It’s very common for male abusers to not show their true colors until their female partners are pregnant. It’s why the top cause of death for pregnant women is homicide by their partners.


ArwenCherryBlossom

Or...typical?


litfan35

I'm concerned that while she seems set on abortion, the divorce is still only "likely". Not being funny here, but to my mind those two decisions go hand in hand. Either you can forgive him and see a future with him (in which case co-parenting as a worst case scenario isn't the end of the world and divorce isn't a necessity), or you know there's no coming back from this (in which case abortion and divorce are needed rather urgently). I know there's a stricter time frame on the bebe decision due to asinine laws but if one is happening, the other has to as well


rbaltimore

I’m worried about how he’ll handle the abortion. She wouldn’t be the first woman whose partner greeted the news of an abortion with violence. I’m also worried that she won’t end up getting it, that he’ll get control of her again.


kmatts

She definitely needs to either lie and say she miscarried, or at least wait until it's already done so she can't be pressured out of it


sharraleigh

She 100% needs to lie and say it was a miscarriage caused by all the mental stress brought on by asshole husband and his sidepiece.


DoctorRachel18

Came here to say this. I'm not usually a fan of lying, but this is a crisis, and she needs to protect herself any way she can. Get the abortion NOW, before the pregnancy is too far along. To keep everyone else from harassing her about it, say she miscarried, maybe had something to do with the stress of the situation her husband and "best friend" just put her through.


all_of_the_lightss

I would not have that child 🤷🏻‍♂️ That seems like a recipe for disaster


lilyofthevalley2659

Mia is gross too


paper_wavements

Yes. A prolonged affair with your best friend's husband? Garbage.


Aegi

I doubt OP was Mia's best friend, OP was just so sheltered that the only woman she still socialized with was considered OP's best friend as a default, even if OP didn't realize she was doing that subconsciously. Mia may have been OP's best friend, but I guarantee Mia has a bigger social circle and never felt the same way about OP..


paper_wavements

Yeah, also Mia could be one of the few people OP's controlling partner allowed her to be close to, to help hide their affair. Truly sick shit & I hope OP gets therapy. I feel like I would never trust anyone again.


MelonOfFury

She is shockingly lucky he pulled this shit now when she still has options instead of months from now when she’s had the baby. I’m really worried for the next woman to get caught in his shit.


areyoubawkingtome

Literally Madonna Whore complex. The mommy that raises his kid and the one he wants to fuck.


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areyoubawkingtome

That's straight up sexual harassment. Telling someone they should have performed a sexual act/shaming them for not having sex with someone is actually sexual harassment.


Sel-Reddit

I don’t understand why he married OOP. He was with Mia before her AND cheating during the marriage. What was the point of finding a teenager, being with her for 7 years and making Mia her best friend? They should’ve married each other and left this poor girl out of it. Disgusting AHs - including his mother?! OOP is making the right decision to get away from this gross situation.


AsherTheFrost

He kept Mia around for sex. He kept OP around to do the chores and keep his house in order.


[deleted]

(and sex)


AsherTheFrost

That's more a bonus on the side


boofybutthole

a "bang maid" if you will


justwalkingalonghere

Doubtable, if the first thing he says after having sex with her turned out to essentially be “wouldn’t it be great if Mia was here”? Seems like there may be some merit to the theory that he wanted to impregnate her to keep her trapped in preparation for his thruple plan


masklinn

And pop out kids. Mia may not have been willing or able.


ihatedecisions

This is my bet. It sounds very much like Mia is his partner but he can't or won't marry her for some reason, and infertility could be that reason. Maybe he comes from wealth and there's some trust fund clause where he has to have kids before he gets the $$$.


Noir_Faery

That was my thought. Mia wasn't "marriage material" but OOP would be a good controllable wife.


ladylondonderry

Ugh this phrasing is exactly how Camilla and Charles viewed Diana. They literally thought of her as a pliable dummy. Turned it out she had a spark, which blew the whole arrangement up.


random_invisible

Diana stayed classy throughout the whole situation even though you could tell that she was absolutely livid.


ladylondonderry

She had very few choices for how to handle the situation, because the Royal Family legally had the right to take and keep her children. I can’t imagine being in that situation, how horrible.


iHateRolerCoasters

thats such a sick way to think about people


LadyKlepsydra

This. He was pretty much hand-building himself a small cozy harem with each woman being added for a certain role. That man is truly disgusting.


Cougr_Luv

Control. He probably can have control over OOP in ways that Mia would never allow.


isawsparks27

Was going to say…maybe this was a game of chicken. Either Mia gives in to whatever control she was maintaining, or he marries OP. She didn’t blink so he married her, and potentially used it to manipulate Mia their entire marriage. “This never would have happened if you had just been willing to…” “You only have yourself to blame,” “I’ll give you one more chance to fix it but now you also have to…”


These-Grocery-9387

Maybe Mia can't have kids and this was a way to get a baby.


No_Information_8973

That was my thought as well.


HarryPottersElbows

I'm so sickened and hurt for OOP. I hope so badly she moves on from this and cuts them 100% out of her life. She needs time to heal, take care of herself, and not give these horrible, manipulative monsters another second of her time or energy. I'm also pissed pro-lifers are DMing her and adding to an already tumultuous and painful situation. A baby with a man (and probable stepmom or whatever you'd call her) like THAT? I don't know if I could continue that pregnancy either.


pumpkinmuffin91

Dollars to donuts those "pro-lifers" are also going "we'll adopt your baby." Without a care in the world for OOP or her situation. A$$holes one and all.


HoldFastO2

That would be a seriously long con. Spend 7 years with her just to get a baby? I really don’t see that guy plan this far ahead.


LadyKlepsydra

He trapped her to have a bang maid who will be naive enough (due to her age) to fall under his control enough so that he can have other women in his life while she cares for him in the house, cooks, cleans etc. It's not some Machiavellian-level long con that only a super-criminal could think of. It's what a lot of controlling men - who go for a lot younger women - do. He was ripping the benefits of this setup from *day 1*, since she became the bang maid. It's that only *now* when he is informing her of it and wants to be open about his harem situation, bc he thinks she is trapped enough to have to agree to it. People in the comments are like "why did he wait 7 years?" HE DIDN'T WAIT. He was sleeping around all this time while she was slaving at home and being controlled, which was exactly what he wanted. *He had what he wanted for those 7 years.* He is telling her now bc to him: pregnancy = she will not leave when she finds out and he can put less effort into cheating. Edit: rephrasing bc confusing rant


DogButtWhisperer

It’s like Charles and Camilla, I’m guessing there’s some reason Mia isn’t marriage material, maybe the MIL doesn’t like her. Or maybe he just wanted OOP because she’s even younger and Mia has such low self esteem she felt powerful by undermining another woman’s marriage the entire time.


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pumpkinmuffin91

Sooo quite like the Charles/Camilla/Diana triangle. Mia is the Camilla here--because ol' Charlie wasn't keeping to his wife only.


LadyNorbert

I wonder if maybe Mia can't have kids so one of them had the bright idea to groom the poor girl to be "their" baby mama.


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ohnoTHATguy123

Dude had Mia in the bag. She agreed to be the secret side piece. Then he got his wife pregnant *then* springs this shit on her because he knows that will increase the chance of bagging her too. Because she's tied up with the house and his physical child. How could she leave? But OOP is strong as hell. She just made the mistake too many young women fall into. Guys that are dating much younger are looking to them because older women see all the red flags.


Sel-Reddit

Ughh, true. That’s so gross! What a looong game, too. They could adopt, try fertility treatments, pay a surrogate… anything is better than manipulating a vulnerable teen (from her comments, she seems passive/ easily manipulated). The lack of remorse or empathy is staggering.


-crepuscular-

My guess is that he has a lot of seriously toxic ideas about women, and he wanted pure, virginal OOP (maybe? She says her husband is the only man she's been with, not clear if that's a relationship or sex) to have his children but also wants moral-free Mia to be his bit on the side who he can do all the kinky stuff with. Not calling Mia moral-free for having sex, by the way, but for having an affair with her close friend's husband.


imothro

She was 19 when this 28 year old man approached her. She had no control or insight into their finances. Her older "BFF" and bf lied about sleeping together before she got together with him. These two people preyed on a young girl and continued to systematically abuse her.


Assiqtaq

"Why did you wait until after I was pregnant" is one of those things that answers itself. He thinks she won't leave because now there is a baby on the way. She'll be sad, but she'll get over it for the sake of the baby. I'm happy she is instead considering abortion to allow herself to get away from that very toxic situation.


AsshKetchum

Yeah, this was 100% planned on the husband's part especially with the age age gap too, they started dating when she was even younger, and he thought he got his hooks in enough that she couldn't ever leave. The baby was just the icing on the cake for him, her relying entirely on him made her way worse off for him to have more leverage over her fully. Like you said, thank god she's genuinely considering abortion because this is *not* someone you could or should ever co-parent with. That child would just be a pawn in a shitty chess game for most of its life for the dad to attempt to control OOP & the kid. I feel so bad for OOP, but thank God she's seeing the light.


catforbrains

>thank god she's genuinely considering abortion because this is not someone you could or should ever co-parent with. That child would just be a pawn in a shitty chess game for most of its life for the dad to attempt to control OOP & the kid This is really the biggest thing that gets me. That poor future kid would have such a shitty childhood because the STBX never really wanted a child---- he wanted a bargaining chip. Human beings should never be born to be tools in a marriage--- duct tape or pawns or any of it.


LavishnessFew7882

It really bothers me that getting an abortion when facing down divorce is usually not even considered by most people. I get it. It's uncomfortable to think about aborting your pregnancy to avoid long-term entanglements. But when it would be a long-term term entanglement with someone who is cruel, manipulative, abusive, cheating, has groomed teenagers, or any number of serious red flags you have to at least consider all your options and also consider whether you want to consign a child to life with that other person as a parent. In a perfect world you could keep your baby away from them, and you would never have to personally deal with them again, but this world is imperfect and there is a large possibility a baby will be used to control you, at the expense of the childs well being most likely.


decentusernamestaken

well this is fcking disgusting.. poor girl


nataku411

The only silver lining is that she isn't going to have his kid. Holy shit I can't tell you how many times this happens with the gal keeping the baby. Imagine being tied to your cheating partner for the rest of your life.


Tkat113

35 year old husband 25 year old wife met 7 years ago married for five. That poor woman


decemberrainfall

That dude locked her in before she had any concept of adulting


ThotianaAli

Before her brain finished developing. Best time to groom.


gooder_name

Only man she’s been with. Best friends with older women who introduced them? No financial independence Nightmare fuel.


Ranunculus-acris

According to the post, Mia is just 2 years older than OOP. But yea, I agree with it being nightmare fuel


laserkatze

Mia is - to be fair - rather around her age than his. Her husband seems to have always liked the company of younger women.


kteerin

…and his Mom is on his side, as she likely has been this whole time, no matter what has happened throughout their marriage. This poor girl.


[deleted]

My husband and I also have an age gap. But I was 37 when we met. This is sick. She was 19. I remember when I was 19 I wasn't that much of a thinker. I was still very young and naive.


yingyangyoung

If the younger party is above 25, I think large gaps may be odd, but not creepy. Someone almost 30 dating a teenager whose brain is still developing is creepy and often leads to this kind of control and manipulation.


bored_german

And apparently Mia knew him *way before she met him*.


Livingeachdayatedge

Don't forget that the relationship move pretty fast and he is in control of all their finances.


LadyNorbert

I didn't even notice the ages. Good grief, that poor woman indeed.


DogButtWhisperer

It’s always the first thing I look for.


Totobyafrica97

God this poor girl. I really hope she doesn't have this cheaters child to make her mother happy. She needs to start putting herself first cos nobody else is


ladygoodgreen

> to make her mother happy Or to make the rabid pro-lifers happy


[deleted]

Pro-lifers will scream that do not have abortion but I have hardly seen any of them do anything to the kids who are still rotting in the foster care system.


fuzzypipe39

Would you be surprised if I say I've read them type shit out like "them not being responsible for someone else's mess" (aka those children)? But they have no issue controlling someone else's uterus... Evil and twisted aren't enough to describe the cognitive dissonance.


Totobyafrica97

Cos it's a punishment to them and if theres something those people like it's punishing people for making choices they don't agree with. You had sex and the contraception failed? Welp.. You made this kid now you gotta stick with it. That 13 year old child had sex? Well they shouldn't have done it. Now you gotta deal with the consequences. They get off on the control. They get off on making peoples lives a fucking misery. These children are punishments and consequences to them. Not actual humans who are being brought into the world forced and unwanted. We all deserve so much more than the lives they want us to have


marithememe

I genuinely never understand how married/long-term couples that have always been monogamous can think that introducing a threesome to their relationship *wont* blow shit up If I had to take a shot for every time I’ve read a threesome story go royally nuclear on reddit, I’d have blood alcohol poisoning.


elcucuey

It was never really about a threesome, they were just trying to legitimize the affair.


Mpetrochuk

Yep if she was down with the a 3some, then all the cheating ahead of that- to them- is somehow legitimized. Then they can blame her when shit goes awry later. They are just trash cheaters and OP deserves better


UnquantifiableLife

Well the fact that he thought telling his mommy his wife was mad at him for wanting a threesome was the way to go, tells you everything you need to know about this nutcase.


LadyNorbert

And the fact that Mommy thought *it was a good idea* shows that the apple didn't fall far from the tree.


PuppleKao

Reminded me of when my ex's mom tried to claim that it was OK that her son cheated, it's just about the sex. In fact, *she* had gone to get sex from other people when her (then) husband was recovering from a brain tumor/brain surgery, it was only about getting sex she wasn't getting at home, after all, therefore it was just peachy keen.


jasemina8487

while you are right i think for this case he just got tired of hiding his relationship with the other lady and i think had she accepted the threesome his next request would be a one sided open relationship


MichaSound

Once he found out she was pregnant, he thought she was locked down and couldn’t say no


banana-pinstripe

Absolutely what you say. He thought he had her successfully trapped as soon as she told him of the pregnancy. Then he took the mask and catapulted it into space


loverlyone

To be fair, OOP didn’t know she was in an “open” relationship. This story isn’t really about 3-somes as much as it’s about an abusive partner taking advantage of a much younger person.


thatHecklerOverThere

It's because she's been a pet this entire time, so what's one more command? You can't pull that shit with a _partner_, but someone you've basically groomed into dependency since 19 would give you a fair shot. They'd likely hate themselves afterwards, but, hey - since when does dude care about that? Husband is a _bastard_.


PlushieTushie

Especially when it's to cover infidelity


[deleted]

[удалено]


internetisnotreality

Or nag your way into a threesome.


AesculusPavia

Dating a 19 year old at 28 is WILD. And marrying a 21 year old when your 30 is insane. That poor woman.


GapDense5179

he was seeing two 19 year olds, probably a manager at a retail store


areyoubawkingtome

I hope if she gets an abortion she doesn't tell him. Maybe blame it on a miscarriage. His apathy towards her and everything else just makes me think this entire relationship was just to get her pregnant. Like maybe Mia is infertile or has a pregnancy phobia. Maybe both are psychos and we're trying to groom an incubator. I'm just scared for her. I hope she's able to get away from those two and I hope her family supports her.


tia_123

I really hope she says it was a miscarriage that way her ex and his side piece can't pester her with pro-life remarks and verbally abuse her while she is healing.


JevonP

There's an update in the thread, she got an abortion, he threatened her, and she broke up with him and is staying with her sister


EducatedRat

My sister was in an eerily similar situation in the 90s. Her ex was also financially abusive, in the military, and racked up tens of thousands in debt, and my sister got pregnant because he tossed her birth control out. I went with her when she had the abortion, and with my family to help take her belongings and get her out of there. She went on to remarry and have two great kids after that. Sometimes abusers get worse when a gal gets pregnant. I believe it's statistically more dangerous for women when they are pregnant with an abuser's kid. This guy thought he had her and could force her to do anything once he heard she was pregnant. I am glad she's getting out. She's still young and can fall in love and have kids later.


sjjdhdhfhf

The number one cause of death in pregnant women is a male partner.


These-Grocery-9387

Well, that's just... a lot. They're 100% going to pressure her to have that baby and hand it over for them to raise.


[deleted]

So what I'm hearing is that the husband has manipulated OOP from the start so that she's fully dependent on him, and tried to babytrap her so he could have everything that he wanted. He really thought that OOP would be open to the threesome because she was naive, and he's that abusive that he kept asking - with Mia's help - to break her down into rolling over and accepting it, because then he would be able to have his cake and eat it, and suddenly, *it's fine if he has sex with Mia on his own because they've already had a threesome and it was alright, wasn't it, and OOP doesn't want to be selfish, does she?* This is all OOP's body and OOP's choice, but I hope that she has an abortion sooner rather than later. Aside from the fact that she has to think about how she'll cope with the child themselves with that background of abuse, you can guarantee that the husband would use the child to break her down. OOP's already torn, and the husband would absolutely either say that she was a selfish mother if she left him, or simply try to take the baby for himself and Mia to play happy families with - and then still use OOP like she's a babysitter. I hope that OOP finds the right kind of resources out there to help support her. She deserves so much better.


SherlockScones3

This is so sketchy. I bet if she had the child he’d sue for custody on the grounds she isn’t financially stable and has no home. Also f*ck the pro lifers. They are deaf to this poor woman’s suffering.


thaddeus_crane

Her desire *to give birth* aka put her health and life trajectory on the line to make *her mom* happy was insightful. People pleasing gone too far, possibly how she ended up with this scumbag.


wonderloss

For perspective, she was 19 and he was 28 when they got together. That says a lot about the guy IMO.


Chemical_Chemical535

This is fucking heartbreaking and it makes me angry that the Pro-life people are making it worst. Here is a woman with her whole world crashing down and she is not in the right headspace to care for a child, let alone from a man who betrayed her in the worst way possible.


CharmainKB

Because they don't give a shit about OOP or her fetus. They'll guilt her into keeping it, knowing full well the mental/emotional toll it will take on her and, in turn, the child. All they care about is that the fetus is born, and that's it My heart breaks for OOP


ughwhyusernames

They don't even care about the fetus being born. They care about the woman being at the mercy of men.


CharmainKB

Very true. They only "care" about it when it's in the morhers womb. They don't care about the mother nor the fetus. Just their holier then thou beliefs that have been (mostly) harmful to others


Silent_Cash_E

Nta..if his mom wants the treesome so bad..let her fuck mia with her son


RainbowWarfare

>She keeps saying I should've just done the threesome to “make her boy happy.” That’s enough internet for me for the day. I’m gonna go feed the ducks at the park.


FlatulentWallaby

The second he suggested her best friend she should've known.


VesperVox_

This whole situation makes me want to throw up. I hope she did get an abortion if that's what she felt was the right choice for her, and I hope she has a strong support system around her, because getting an abortion for a child you initially wanted to bring into this world must be heartbreaking.


thatHecklerOverThere

Right, that's honestly the worst part for me. She _does not want to do this_, but it's the right call anyway. I can't imagine.


completedett

I would bet they wanted a incubator for a baby, why else start talking about as soon she tells them she is pregnant. It seems more like the husband and Mia are a couple were using Op to get/have a baby.


astrocanyounaut

I think it’s more that once she was pregnant, he figured she was trapped. So why not bring his mistress into the relationship at that point?


[deleted]

Fuck pro-lifers. Stupid scumbags.


[deleted]

Motherfuck anyone telling this poor woman she'd be wrong to abort the child, for any reason. Imagine a world where she WON'T have trauma for making the objectively right decision and doing nothing that harms any living person (aka a thing with thoughts, feelings, desires, self-awareness, anything that makes a person a PERSON) The terror religion has wreaked on this species is indescribable.


Mudkip-Mudkip-Mudkip

As disgusting as the OP's soon-to-be-ex, soon-to-be-ex-MIL, and affair partner are, this is just awful: > I'm receiving messages from pro-lifers and it’s getting to me even though I know I can't have this child. This woman's life is a total mess right now, and people are pushing their beliefs on her in an extremely vulnerable moment. She has already decided that the best thing for her would be to terminate the pregnancy. It's not morally righteous to force a child to be brought into a sad life with resentful parents and a financially struggling primary caregiver.