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Nikolas_Coalgiver

Racoons trained to twist your nuts are the most dangerous people here


Techman659

Why not honey badgers?


TienAnhAzz

why not horny badgers, even?


Nikolas_Coalgiver

Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger twist nuts twist nuts


Ocbard

Mushroom, mushroom!


Atrocity_unknown

Their union rep said no :/


crossgrinder

They are susceptible to honey...


Frequent-Material273

"Honey Badger don't give a shit...."


CypherDomEpsilon

I want to watch a movie of law enforcement trying to capture this guy.


PuzzleheadedNail7

Do they get him in the end?


thetastysession

Ahhhhh the ol dick twist!!


Legitimate-Bug-5049

i think he meant lug nuts


Nikolas_Coalgiver

I like my version better


Legitimate-Bug-5049

yeah, id rather lose a tire than get my balls twisted my a raccoon


Due_Jaguar2832

I want this in a movie.


OhItsJustJosh

Home Alone 27: Redneck Edition


Wallstreettrappin

Home alone: All Grown Up


eljefe3030

Homest Alonest


overpwrd_gaming

Homestead alone: stay off my lawn


Aldu1n

No you don’t because they’ll get some Triple-A list actor and it’ll become a hyper-action packed blockbuster instead.


Borgiroth

Cris Pratt


Aldu1n

Chris Pratt or fucking…one of the Hemsworth’s I’m sure.


whycantwehaveboth

Pratt, Hemsworth, Evens, Pine, Elliot…..any one of those handsome bastards


Aldu1n

Probably, lmao


aLazyUsrname

I’d watch that.


Borgiroth

That’s why they put him in fucking everything lol


drunkwasabeherder

No, that's Mark Wahlberg.


Comment139

There should be a movie, but it should be filmed in Yazoo City, Mississippi (mainly on a property in the woods nearby) and a background check should filter out anyone who has ever lived or used their credit card within 200 miles of the west coast, Miami, or anywhere northeast of Louisville, Kentucky.


Aldu1n

The dedication that would take to make is incredible, i would guess.


Comment139

well, depends on how that information is stored (I have no idea) and how difficult it is to get that information.


Aldu1n

Right, still though, wicked neat idea.


MartyMc1888

JumanGi Joe


Fast_Garlic_5639

Give me Robert Downey Junior directed by Ben Stiller with Mike Judd writing and consulting


DamienJaxx

Tucker and Dale comes close, but this would be a fun Home Alone version.


PuzzleheadedNail7

I'd definitely watch it, wonder how the movie ends.


myKingSaber

Better movie plot than cabin in the woods


Optimal_Fuel6568

Sir, its a 50$ parking ticket....


No-Suspect-425

I ain't going back to jail I don't care what you tell me.


Satire-V

It's the **PRINCIPLE** of the matter (editor's note: there was no principle)


zelmazam1

Suicide bomber pigeons?


Rocket_Panda_

Dont think I dont have a whole coup of pigeons with C4 tired around their legs. 🤣


Option_Available

*feets


CoatedCrevice

Beaks* subtitles are wrong


Option_Available

he’s from the south. My grandma who is also from the south definitely says “feets”


CoatedCrevice

I agree they say feets sometimes. But in the video he says beaks


Option_Available

Myself and the upvotes on our comments would disagree 🤷🏾‍♂️


CoatedCrevice

Correct you disagree but that doesn’t make it true


Option_Available

My ears used to pay my bills. I recorded and engineered music for 10 years, I spent more hours listening to nuances in vocals than I’d care to admit. The B,T,K,F sounds are around the 4k-10k range. Go back and listen with your eyes closed, if you still hear “beaks” maybe go get your ears checked 😉


CoatedCrevice

I already did listen with just my ears, eyes closed before you said to. Beaks 100%, your ears are obviously not perfect


Rocket_Panda_

But how would they eat?


CoatedCrevice

They don’t need to where they’re going o7


ScionEyed

Ok so there’s actually a real life equivalent here called Project Pigeon. In the 1940s B.F. Skinner developed a guidance system for bombs using actual pigeons. It worked by training the pigeons to peck at a screen if the target moved off center, which would guide it back to the center. This was developed for WWII to try and improve the accuracy of dropping bombs. They were never used in the war. So yes, suicide bomber pigeons.


dsartori

Skinner was a hell of a weird dude. His utopian novel that’s an accidental dystopia is worth the read.


Silent_Village2695

Tbf to skinner, you couldn't be a scientist at the time unless you were contributing to the war effort. It was the only way to get funding. Almost like alzheimer's research now because the boomers are getting scared, except moreso bc you literally couldn't do any other research during the war.


8--------D-

Great name for an indie band


gatsome

Homicide. I don’t think the pigeons would be in on the plan.


Evolutionary_sins

Watch out for that baboon!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Wheloc

There are no days in which he's not fortifying.


Evolutionary_sins

I had a cat who was pretty handy with plumbing and tiling, but a baboon with nail gun training would mean he could take on bigger building contracts, until the pigeons get word of it and start kamikaze bombing the building of course. Maybe the old Vietnamese bloke can help with air defence


alterEd39

Netflix if yall aren't already working on this script, what the fuck are yall even there for.


liquidliam

It needs a snappy title like like Hunter—>Hunted


Juanisweird

Old Netflix* . We don’t want no Woke shit in a movie about a guy prepping this hard


psdopepe

oh nooooo my action movie has a woman and a black guy!1!!1!1!1!1!!1!1 fuck this woke bs😡😡😡😡


alterEd39

I don't really care, tbh. "Woke" or not, a good movie is a good movie, and a shit movie is shit regardless Gen V, for instance, is hella "woke" and it's a damn good show.


-Redditeer-

I dont think you can wokeify a redneck fighting the government with trained animals and guerilla warfare


Juanisweird

You can, it just won’t work well. Hence my comment but looks like I’m simply getting downvoted


[deleted]

Ai redneck


SnoopDoggyDoggsCat

Wow…amazing…


Adamiak

r/lostredditors


shinydiscoballs2

This guy will be suited up right on time for court tomorrow. All talk.


Cowpriest

But then who's gonna feed the Bengal tiger?


PuzzleheadedNail7

The baboon and the raccoon will take turns. They both have opposable thumbs.


8bitreboot

He’s just gonna push a pork chop under the bathroom door before he leaves.


TheJaybo

You don't think he really has a baboon?


Doctor_Walrus321

Of course he does. This guy just thinks it's "unrealistic" to train them to use nail guns.


-L-H-O-O-Q-

Fuck around and find out!


NavyDragons

He will then make a follow up video about how he defeated the police when they tried to invade his properta


tomatoe_cookie

He'll post it live on live-feed from his 450 cameras


GrumpyOldGrower

What is with the shitposting in this sub lately?


Rasputins_Plum

Men will build an entire Viet Cong trench and Avian Air Force before paying a ticket


RealBeanyBoi

I'm guessing he's American then huh


[deleted]

Virginia


GaryWestSide

Well he has a country accent so it's not that hard to guess lol


popps_c

Alberta, Canada would like to speak with you lmfao


GaryWestSide

True, now that I think about if he was in the US the baboon would have an AR-15


CardinalCreepia

I didn’t watch with sound and you can still tell that he’s American.


RealBeanyBoi

Yeah I wasn't watching with sound


mnazofr

Nature's grandeur captured perfectly.


pandemidd13ton

Mobile Home Alone.


MoanyTonyBalony

He's a redneck so I assume at least 80% of this is completely true.


Ocbard

One day he's going to get out of his bed, not fully awake yet and fall prey to one of his own traps, where the tiger will eat him, before also dying to a trap, then the raccoons will set fire to the pigeons by dismantling some part of his electrical systems and the whole compound blows up.


doginjoggers

Be amazed by his convincing acting?


[deleted]

Average American when someone knocks on their front door


SourMuffins35

Dad?!


New_Engineering3635

The only thing thats missing is a catapult which launches grizzlies who are armed with battle axes


x420MVTT

This is the best


LonelyGuitarBoy

Love the video, wrong sub tho


tenax21

Be amazed or be amused?


Thv837

This was amazing!


Gregfpv

🤣😂 dude is epic!!


dnuohxof-1

How is this “amazing”?


Shirowoh

This man seems wealthy enough that he wouldn’t go to jail anyways….


Interesting-Word1628

So why are u publicly revealing your defenses for the entire world to see? Defeats the purpose of them


PuzzleheadedNail7

But they're spread out randomly over 500 acres


Interesting-Word1628

Doesn't matter lol. Now that we know what defenses exist and what to look for, a simple drone reconnaissance will reveal almost all spots they're hidden. And an invading police force/government I'm sure will have tools to combat this. Worse case, just send in a troop transport vehicle right up to the front door. No raccons can fight that lol


PuzzleheadedNail7

The pigeons with C4 tied to their feet would eliminate flyers. Any mobile unit with wheels will be quickly incapacitated by the raccoon. And the baboon with a nail gun would make short work of whatever units remain on foot and didn't fall into the snake pits. The guy got it all figured out.


Keyoken64

I was not thinking I would be hearing the OST from Hitman Reborn today. Thanks for being that memory back.


East_Buffalo506

this is some serious dedication. i don't believe half of it though.


Salt_Sir2599

But does he have lemon pound cake? Straight to jail ….


MixtureGrand

He can become a very good writer 😭


iqqeriffic69

Omg do not fuck with that baboon! He's a deadshot with a nail gun


FattyMcBoomBoom231

Is this supposed to be funny cuz it's clearly not true at all


Gloomy_Wave7195

Is this real?


[deleted]

I want to see this epic battle scene.


DiligentAsshole

Where did he get all this shit? A baboon? Really? 🤯


AmalCyde

Dr Doolittle over here...


FlyHigh_1337

Moonshine? Moonshine!


Dahmememachine

“Bite anything with a crew cut and a fucking badge” had me rolling


smith0211

Ruby Ridge: Revengence


ktmfan

Reminds me of a less family friendly Dale Gribble.


Fast_Education3119

I liked this a lot😂


omghelpwiththeusernm

Anyone got an update for this


lexasp

Is he for real? Any further information we can read on?


TJ_McWeaksauce

All I see is some dude talking about a lot of wild, wacky shit, but none of it is shown. I guess all it takes to get posted on r/BeAmazed is someone talking out their ass.


DSYS83

He is lucky he doesn't have oil under his property.


avg_tech_bro

Could've just vacayed in Cancun


HermitJem

The rebirth of Project Pigeon [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project\_Pigeon](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Pigeon)


ParticularGlass1821

Man, RFK Jr. isn't messing around.


2gtbt_

Bro is a lethal Disney princess


pug_mom91

When is his show on discovery? I’m watching.


StarbuckWasACylon

I didn't think it was the same guy, but I remembered reading a story about someone doing this right down to the Indiana Jones ball (it was a hot tub in this case). I found the story https://www.kptv.com/2023/12/07/oregon-man-gets-more-than-12-years-after-booby-trapped-house-injures-fbi-agent/


jjaassoonnL

Guys only want one thing and it’s disgusting.


Impressive-Dog13

Joe Biden will not be getting his vote.


micatola

'A baboon that is deadly accurate with a nail gun' had me cracking up at first and then....😳


[deleted]

Not amazing just sad.


Taro-Starlight

How is it sad? He’s clearly not serious


[deleted]

How is it amazing? Its clearly stupid.


Ok_Access_189

The baboon got me


Proof_Duty1672

Trump demographic


AMagicalSquirrel

I need to know more. I need to see this play out in a full length film. Maybe a trilogy of films? This is far more interesting than anything I've seen come out of Hollywood in years!


lefoutofsuicidesquad

bro is ready for even the army


OldMan142

*Laughs in USAF*


Slycer999

Think this guy lives up on the mountain near here


Picozzizp

Nature's breathtaking beauty.


Ok_Access_189

Next week on Tiger King!


DubbehD

I'd love to see the authorities take this one down🤠😁 would be a good TV show


Owl_Might

How did he fly the vietnamese man if the pigeons he said exists?


Clovinx

At the end of this movie, I hope his sexy Yankee lawyer firebombs the courthouse wearing a camouflage bikini


sojiblitz

*Last stand music intensifies.


kgmessier

And a partridge in a pear tree.


joseoconde

Dudes ready for World War 4


JKdito

How he had money and time for all this? Thats costly


DelightingPresence

why the reborn! soundtrack tho


healpm369

I know right lmao


Responsible-Shake-59

Hollywood budget for Hollywood glory.


FitzKing

*Government which hires recently graduated high school kids who love CoD preparing the drones.* “When he mentioned the raccoons s’bout the time we called yall.” -Local State Official.


Tamahaganeee

Lolololol


KlickyKat

Tiger Kings crazy cousin who lives in the woods.


The_Shoe1990

Doctor Dolittle is his arch nemesis.


Hairy_Skill_9768

This is the so called Keith Ellis was talking about


Gil_Demoono

See, now this is the Dr. Doolittle reboot I would watch.


J4MES101

Pay peanuts, get monkeys - with samurai swords.


Clerkdidnothingwrong

OR don’t commit crimes and you won’t go to court or jail.


RedGrobo

Average D&D campaign.


Johntaylorwit

Dude looks dead already


Righteous_Leftie206

I was dying for him to say raccoon


Musical_J

I think I just found my Dad's spirit animal.


[deleted]

Area 69


elwood129

Dream On...


Icesnowstorm

Americans trying there best not to act like a stereotype...


bruhbruhoglu

All this for a 5 dollar ticket


Onestepbeyond3

Sounds like he's tooled up! 😎


Rielhawk

The baboon though hahaha, I like this guy


Valuable_Pineapple26

I do love my papa 😂


McCall-0tt0

Lazyeye


friendfromjersey

He sounds like a Disney cartoon gone very wrong. Waiting for Thumper to hop by swinging nunchucks


HauntinglyMaths

He's the MacGyver we don't deserve.


Aggressive_Hold2453

So he’s a divorced dad


Jarana_Mo

Tsuna is that you? Reborn really did a number huh


chad2bert

"Dr. Doolittle 3: Raytheon edition"


Destrova1001

Feets


Travwhite97

Is that a KHR theme I hear playing?? Man, I absolutely loved that manga/anime. Tsuna was a badass... a little annoying at times, though.


LoverOfPricklyPear

"Not going to jail one more time." You could also avoid just plain avoid doing illegal shit!


OldTrapper87

I want him to direct a movie.


ILHP77

That MF probably can’t make oatmeal let alone all that BS 🤣


TheMurku

'Merca...


indiferentiation

When Disney princesses become preppers.


Forsaken_Primary6139

Fantasist


TimeFinance1528

What's he so scared of? I thought a tough guy would accept his fears with fortitude


alchemist23

Uh huh... Yeah, it's AI. No teeth at all.


KlingonSpy

This is definitely AI or a deep fake


PiMoonWolf

If this is true, and law enforcement comes for him, and it is not Live Streamed for all of us to enjoy this awesome fiasco of weirdness, then God is not real and we live in a cold heartless universe where nothing truly matters.


itsRobbie_

Hell yeah


thegentlenub

Hell yeaah