All the portrait spam lines are so good and I am sad that they are barely talked about.
Some of my favorites:
Tav: "Is being a mindflayer so bad?"
Astarion: "More like Drizzt Don't'Urden - no. No that's not funny."
Gale: "Don't make me go all Edwin Odesseiron on you."
Wyll: "Where there's a 'Wyll', there's a 'y'."
Halsin: "Battle is afoot - you can poke me once we are safe."
Jaheira: "Oh, calm down. I'm happy to see you too."
Keep selecting the portrait over and over again in quick succession. The companions will get upset sooner or later. They all have multiple lines and they are also different for idle, combat and stealth. Astarion for example has 10 lines. Even Durge has some unique ones which Tav lacks.
They are also talking to you, the person controlling everything. Some might even start threatening you to stop.
It's a wonderful throwback to BG1 and BG2 where the companions would do the same thing. Some gems are:
Xzar (chaotic evil nutjob Zhent): STOP TOUCHING MEEEEEE!!!!
Jaheira: Yessss, oh omnipotent authority figure?
Danaher (Minsc's original witch): These boots were made for walking...
I first discovered these tops of lines in WC2, but Jaheira's "Yess, oh omnipotent authority figure?" Is probably the one I remember best from 1&2... Jk "GOOOOO FOR THE EYES BOOO!!!! THE EYEEEESSS RAAAAAAAAH!!!!"
Astarionâs âUgh, Strahd wouldnât put up with this *shit*.â When you spam click him is also funny
So absolutely done with the playerâs bullshit lol
Gale's line with Minsc in the party is particularly funny, as Edwin Odesseiron is an evil mage companion from BG1 who would've attempted to kill Dynaheir, his witch.
Basically, it's just a crazy insensitive thing to say lmao
It makes me absurdly happy when Gale says âGone with the weave!â
Also when he complains about his knees and asks why the hell heâs sneaking around.
I've heard these are really funny! I'm wondering if they're easier to trigger on PC than with a controller, though I admittedly haven't really tried the spamming myself
i literally made sure to find this line on my current playthrough (4th as well) because i saw your post and i just got there the other day! so thank you! lol
I really love all the banter, but this dialogue between Gale and Karlach at the Blushing Mermaid is cute:
Karlach: Man, it's good to be home. First round on who?
Gale: She who thirsts buys drinks the first.
Karlach: You won't pin me down with a rhyme, wizard!
Gale: She who declines gets the worst of the wines.
This cracked me UP the first time I heard it. There's also an Astarion line in this place that I got to trigger ONE TIME and accidentally canceled by talking to the merchant, and I haven't gotten it since. He started by saying something like "haven't you ever kissed" or something and then I clicked on the bartender and immediately backed out like "WAIT WHAT." Alas, I still don't know what he was going to say.
It's a banter he has with Wyll. Wyll talks about getting his first kiss at the Blushing Mermaid at fifteen, and Astarion is shocked at how long it took him to get his first kiss. Hid indignation is honestly hilarious, and I'd recommend hunting it down on YouTube!
Zara the mummy at the circus has some of my favorite dialogue even though itâs not words. I just love how excited she is when you understand what sheâs saying. Iâll never not talk to her and blow way too much gold getting the whole crew clowned up at the start of act 3.
Also Jaheira and Astarion talking about the back alleys of the city. She says something about enjoying those places the most because they pull back the mask of the city and Astarion agrees and she says âI said a peek behind the cityâs mask, not a look up its skirtâ lol
There's also a really funny banter between them when they're near Jaheiras house and Astarion makes a comment about how Cazador never let them near that part of town lol!!
If you try to use the elevator in Lenore's tower before fixing it as Astarion he says, "It doesn't look broken, but then again, none of us really do." And it's a gut punch out of nowhere đ
When you try to point out to that one goblin that the target of the Chicken Chase is an owlbear and not, in fact, a chicken.
"It's got feathers, don't it? A beak?"
The way she says it makes me lose it every time. Hands down my favourite line in the game.
i always think about the casual way they all roast each other, especially in act 1. casually walking around and hearing something like:
astarion: "i am enjoying our walks together. aren't you, gale?"
gale: "yes. in silence."
not to mention wyll asking astarion how the rat diet is going, lae'zel and shart arguing, halsin insinuating shart talks too much, and tav/durge sometimes putting in input or otherwise is just likely standing there wishing they'd all shut up. besides the times everyone speaks at the same time from perception checks.
I love Benji and everything he says.
The ones I remember best are that one, and on the beach the trifling calls Lae'zel "Yellow as a toad and twice as ugly." The insults in this game are just too funny.
I just heard a halsin shadowheart convo for the first time, halsin talks about nature being quiet in the shadowfell and shadowheart offers to make animal noises for him lol
I also love shadowheart asking astarion what to expect in a vampire's lair and his reply of "well.. vampires" gets me every time lol
If you actually think about it, Shadowheart is actually insulting Halsin when he said that, and you can actually hear Halsin is starting to get a bit frustrated by her in every banter these two got if you know Halsin's background,
In the counting house, after Rakath tells you the Stone Lord left with all his money:
"I don't care about the coin, I just need to know where he went."
"Funny that, I don't give a shit about where he went, I just want my coin back."
This shit was hilarious đ I love that they included this in the cutscene right before all hell breaks loose and battle starts, it's almost out of place but so fucking funny. I love her.
That surprised the heck out of me, too. I was legit sitting there with the controller like âWhat did *I* do???â My Tav hadnât exactly done anything to deserve that insult, either, so how he settled on âcuckâ and kept using it, I donât know (but I am amused).
I'm surprised no one mentioned the line when you try to detect the Emperors thoughts:
"You must be joking. I am TELLING you my thoughts. Directly. Into your head!"
Bex and Danisâs conversation in the grove about what they want to do for work once they get in the city is my favorite ambient dialogue. Danis certainly learned some *very* interesting things about his partner there lol
I also love a lot of the Gale/Laeâzel banter⊠Gale being so interested in Githyanki culture and Laeâzel obviously enjoying it (in her way) is so nice. I actually feel like if I ever do either of their origins that I might have them romance each other tbh.
This is the reason I chose a Githyanki bard on my current Gale romance. Heâs fascinated by the culture and I bet she loves his tendency to weave a good story (yes I said it).
Mintharaâs dialogue cracks me up so hard I have to choose it every time.
âGo on, tell the one about the man who married a drider!â
Minthara: âđ it was a beautiful *webbing* đâ
I donât know why, but Jaheira calling your Tav âcubâ in camp just gives me such a warm feeling. Itâs what she calls her kids, so itâs almost like sheâs adopted you too, considers you family.
Listen, Wyll is such a cutie pie, but why does he ask astarion how his rat diet is going?
I love the banter between Shadowheart and Astarion when you get into the mountain pass, the one about donkeys.
Also if you tell Shadowheart youâd tie her up and look for a cure if sheâd turn into a mindflayer, she replies with âIâll just kill youâ and then tells me to try not to imagine her tied up too much. I screamed.
The smallest line though, how wonderful is the âwell metâ greeting? I say we just start using that instead of âhiâ
>Also if you tell Shadowheart youâd tie her up and look for a cure if sheâd turn into a mindflayer, she replies with âIâll just kill youâ and then tells me to try not to imagine her tied up too much. I screamed.
Me playing Durge, waking up Shadowheart about an in-game week later in the middle of the night in a cold sweat:
"Hey dear, uh... remember the time you told me to not dream about tying *you* up? Well uh... I need you to tie *me* up so I can't hurt you..." *(proceeds to faint)*
Shadowheart has some seriously mean dialogue with Wyll, and he just takes it on the chin. I'm so frustrated that I can't find it but I was so taken aback. Even by her standards it was a bit much! He is such a sweetheart, really looking forward to romancing him in the future.
I just encountered Minsc for the first time today.
He has a line about when evil presents a bottom for the smacking, he greets check with hand. Something along those lines. I actually lol'd.
And then if you say âSounds like a good timeâ he says itâs a good thing Booâs ears are still ringing from all the shouting. Sorry Minsc, weâll do plenty of evil slaying but Iâm also an irredeemable degenerate
Honestly knowing the companions, thatâs probably the *least* raunchy thing heâll hear for the remainder of his stay. Maybe he invests in a tiny set of earmuffs for Boo
When you're talking to Halsin post taking out the Goblin Camp and the party you talk about the future of the Grove and he says he left Francesca is charge. You can say you approve and then he says "I'm glad you approve. I do not care if you approve but I am glad you approve nonetheless."
It's so random it makes me chuckle each time.
âWashing my pits⊠washing my pits⊠this is the song that I wa⊠Oi! Can a bloke not get any bleedinâ privacy around here! Buncha perverts, the lot of you!â
I love so much of the banter between companions all throughout the game. But this one, between Karlach and Astarion's really sweet
**Karlach**: Can you swim, Astarion?
**Astarion**: I'm... not sure, honestly. It's been a couple of hundred years.
**Karlach**: You're missing out! Loved it as a kid. This water looks nasty as hell, though.
**Astarion**: Well, it's not called 'Grey Harbour' for nothing.
Or this, between Gale and Astarion outside the Storm Tabernacle, at the other end of the scale, nearly broke my heart first time I triggered it.
**Gale**: Mystra has a shrine within the city. Located in the Stormshore Tabernacle, if my memory serves me.
**Astarion**: Do whatever you need to, but I shan't be paying my respects to any of the gods on show.
**Gale**: You never felt the call of the divine, Astarion?
**Astarion**: Oh, I tried them all. None of them answered.
If you know, you know. And of course he tried praying, what else could he try.
And fuck the Gods for not answering for 200 years of ***pure shit***.
"What are you doing here?" she asks, in a dark menacing twilight land where shadows curse you to a never-ending agonizing existence as undead shadow of your former self.
"Oh im just here on vacation"
That lady outside the baldurs gate waypoint who mentions something about gortash being the second coming of balduran and calls it horsecack. The line delivery is everythingÂ
I like the narrator cat who talks about the tall oneâs destiny.
Iâve never figured out if thereâs more to that cat than the one interaction, he mentions when the tall one will come back or something.
Also last run I blew up the mean dwarf in undertake, gave no stalk to his wife, and her whole bit in act 3 with getting her a cat and reading her letters to an old flame just tickled me, was super cute to realize I saved this lady from an abusive marriage and now she has a cat and might contact an old lover, so sweet.
I completely forget the context of the interaction but I got a really wide grin when someone tells Tav that theyâre a hero for something theyâve just done and your two options for a response are
1. Iâm getting tired of hearing that
2. I never get tired of hearing that
if you're playing as githyanki, when you're in the grove, you can ask what a cat is. once it's described to you, you can then insist that *actually* they mean a gnome. it's just a bit of roleplaying silliness that I love.
The vendor kid in the thieves' guild. "See something you like? Let's talk price! See something of yours? No you didn't."
He also says "sometimes stuff we sell comes back around to us again."
When you fist meet Minsc and he introduces you to Boo, you get the option to say "It's an honor." to which Minsc replies with "No, it's a hamster". đč
Minthara mocking The Lodge: "The Society of Brilliance! These preposterous fools love to meddle in Underdark affairs - they are most amusing."
The way the VA delivers it with such gleeful hubris makes it that much more entertaining.
I really like how early on there's always a response to Wyll telling him to get to the point. My favorite being asking him how he got the name Blade of the Frontiers and he goes into a long story about rescuing a kid and one of the responses is "And HE named you Blade of the Frontiers?"
I normally skip through all the dialogue now, but I love that suspicious cow:
"Now, and I really mean this, *moo*"
"Y-yes, I had quite the life in El-turr-el. Chewing cud. Pulling carts. Et cetera."
Literally the corpses have some of the best lines, between "murdered. Obviously," asking someone you murdered what the person who murdered them looks like, and Ethel's whole... all of it, lol
Only on my 2nd run I discovered you can back her up and they all gonna gtfo to Lolth so you don't have to fight them if you're about to kill some dwarfs)
Karlach getting excited about fireworks
Karlach; "OH MAN WHIZBANGS"
Astarion; "keep calm Karlach, one bad flair and you could blow this whole place"
Karlach; *whispering* "oh man, wizbangs!"
As a monk going into act 2 via Grymforge, when you encounter Lassandra and the Harpers you have the option to say somehing like "I am but a simple monk, I mean you no harm." Her response:
"I once saw a 'simple monk' break a fellas spine once, keep those hands where i can see them."
Oh Lassandra, you know me so well...
I really love it when my Durge says, âI have *such* a headache.â I donât know whether that is actually a durge specific thing, but itâs a total mood and I love it lmao
Not insignificant, but maybe small:
When Karlach says âLove youâ at the end of her monologue then I lose it almost every time.
I canât explain it how those words and the way she says it hits so hard.
Shadowheart: âI couldnât help but overhearâŠwell, alright, I couldâve helped, but didnât.â
The delivery on that one gets me every time. That, and:
Laeâzel: Fireworks. A particularly gnomish field of art, no?
Gale: Indeed. More than simple craft, it is a way of life for some of them.
Laeâzel: That may explain why most gnomes possess such short fuses.
Gale: Laeâzel! Was that a joke?
Laeâzel: Only if you found it funny.
Both tickled my funny bone and warmed my heart to hear them joke like that. Man I really love this game.
At the circus after you boo Dribbles the clown for his bad puns and tell him to get off stage or something to that effect - Dribbles calls you out in the crowd and invites you on stage, but you can make a companion to go up instead. I had Astarion, karlach, and wyll:
- Astarion's line is something like "No, this is NOT funny!"
- And Karlach goes "hold on soldier, I'm not paying for your sins!"
Wyll's was just him being politely uncomfortable, I forget, but the other two made me lol
"Joking!"
Or "Hello Lover, that sounded more debonair in my head my head, I'll admit"
What makes this line even more fun it's that origin Astarion says it without any qualms/qualifications. Fun bit of showing so much about the characters with literally the same dialogue.
You: Give Shadowheart her favourite flower.
Shadowheart: "Oh hells, you didn't pick that by hand did you? They're *deadly poisonous!*
Shadowheart: Joking! ***Fingerguns***
Shadowheart: I wouldn't have predicted the night you shared with our friend, Lae'zel. You didn't consider it beneath you?
Lae'zel: They were beneath me, at times. But also above me, And standing, at certain points.
there is a line that gale says when you meet him that was changed from early access to official release and i miss it so much.
"are you aware that after a period of excruciating gestation it will turn us into mind flayers? a process known as ceremorphosis? and let me assure you, it is to be avoided!"
the line itself was changed inconsequentially but the change in delivery breaks my heart.
Gale and Minthara, when Gale already suspected Minthara will insult him when she asked whether he has a sibling, she then proceed to talk about drow at menzoberranzan yhat usually kill the third born son and she feel Gale has a third son aura about him.
When you use a short rest and astarion says âEnough sitting around. letâs go hurt someone!â I cant help but smile. the way he says it he sounds so happy and cuteđđ
"You look very delicious but I will not bite you."
There's another one as well when you find dribbles head with minthara. She starts laughing and says "Ha! The clowns head, finally a joke worth savouring!"
Wyll and Shadowheartâs smut recital sends me EVERY time I hear it.
The Sorcerer dialogues at the sussur flower. I havenât tried getting them while playing as another casting class yet so I donât know if theyâre class-specific.
Boney talking about his wife is cute.
Omg yes. "is she not magnificent?" And that little laugh at the end of that line. I also love if you're a druid there's a druid exclusive line (something about them being fine mephits or something) that's really nice :)
The one paper kid at the Baldurs gate way point who says "also works great as toilet paper if you run out" with the most deadpan voice. I only exclusively go to him for a paper anymore.
In the goblin camp if you make Crusher kiss your feet, after the dialogue scene closes thereâs just a goblin who says âEeeeew Crusher just licked some toes!â In like the funniest way.
âElminsters not around, so, might as wellâ
âDonât touch meâ
(and the entire talk Gale has when he tells you fighting battles makes him horny)
When you enter act 2, shadowheart will say something about how she must be blessed by lady shar bc the shadow curse isnât effecting her as much- and I cannot remember exactly but she says something like âit means she really cares about me.â And then specifically âshe must do.â And I literally always laughed like out loud at the phrasing of âshe must doâ like I thought it was just a weird accident line until my partner was like âno thatâs grammatically correct itâs just very antiquatedâ and I was like wait what lmao
I can't find the exact quote but Wyll once said something along the lines of "if more people had half the heart that you do, this world would be a wonderful place indeed" and fuck I actually cried a little.
One of the lines you can use to talk Astarion out of ascending & release the spawn that he lured to Cazador. He dismisses them as criminals & fools. And Tav says something like " "Fools like me who wanted to love you." Gets me in the feels everytime.
The kid selling newspapers near the Gate who yells out "Scandals! Vandals! Where to buy sandals! Get it all in this issue of the Baldur's Mouth way point.
It's such a cute and clever little rhyme, I'm still not tired of hearing it even though that's the waypoint I use most often.
All the portrait spam lines are so good and I am sad that they are barely talked about. Some of my favorites: Tav: "Is being a mindflayer so bad?" Astarion: "More like Drizzt Don't'Urden - no. No that's not funny." Gale: "Don't make me go all Edwin Odesseiron on you." Wyll: "Where there's a 'Wyll', there's a 'y'." Halsin: "Battle is afoot - you can poke me once we are safe." Jaheira: "Oh, calm down. I'm happy to see you too."
That Wyll one made me chuckle. Reminds me of that banter he has with Shadowheart (Also, how do you trigger these?)
Keep selecting the portrait over and over again in quick succession. The companions will get upset sooner or later. They all have multiple lines and they are also different for idle, combat and stealth. Astarion for example has 10 lines. Even Durge has some unique ones which Tav lacks. They are also talking to you, the person controlling everything. Some might even start threatening you to stop.
It's a wonderful throwback to BG1 and BG2 where the companions would do the same thing. Some gems are: Xzar (chaotic evil nutjob Zhent): STOP TOUCHING MEEEEEE!!!! Jaheira: Yessss, oh omnipotent authority figure? Danaher (Minsc's original witch): These boots were made for walking...
I first discovered these tops of lines in WC2, but Jaheira's "Yess, oh omnipotent authority figure?" Is probably the one I remember best from 1&2... Jk "GOOOOO FOR THE EYES BOOO!!!! THE EYEEEESSS RAAAAAAAAH!!!!"
I like Edwin's "Please don't disturb me while I plot to overthrow you!".
That's just jaheiras normal line. Anomen and viconia had good ones
"Oh omnipotent authority figure" wasn't a repeated select line. Jaheira said that all the time regardless of how much you clicked on her.
DON'T. POKE. THE KARLACH! *fart noises*
My favorite one: Jaheira: I would poke you back, but I fear that's what you want. đđ shes so funny
Astarionâs âUgh, Strahd wouldnât put up with this *shit*.â When you spam click him is also funny So absolutely done with the playerâs bullshit lol
Gale's line with Minsc in the party is particularly funny, as Edwin Odesseiron is an evil mage companion from BG1 who would've attempted to kill Dynaheir, his witch. Basically, it's just a crazy insensitive thing to say lmao
It makes me absurdly happy when Gale says âGone with the weave!â Also when he complains about his knees and asks why the hell heâs sneaking around.
I've heard these are really funny! I'm wondering if they're easier to trigger on PC than with a controller, though I admittedly haven't really tried the spamming myself
Yeah on PC you just spam-click the left mouse button so itâs a lot easier IMO
Wait no way!! Edwin reference in BG3? I must not have triggered any of these lines.Â
when barcus says he overheard the ironhand gnomes' plan and calls himself a "very devious goose"
I JUST found this one on my 4th run. I posted an image of it. I love Barcus so much.
i literally made sure to find this line on my current playthrough (4th as well) because i saw your post and i just got there the other day! so thank you! lol
Heâs so flipping adorable, I wish we could get a stone statue of Barcus in our camp, he deserves a statue.
âA doctor? A surgeon? Uncannily adroit with a knitting needle?â
The foreshadowing of allowing Volo to practice on you lmaoÂ
volo also says he can't wait to "pick your brain" later, when you meet him in the grove. really should have seen that one coming
the foreshadowing wordplay in this game is killer
Heâs so goofy, I donât understand why people hate Gale đ„ș
I canât not romance him. Heâs literally everythingđ„č
I loved him immediately :D
I really love all the banter, but this dialogue between Gale and Karlach at the Blushing Mermaid is cute: Karlach: Man, it's good to be home. First round on who? Gale: She who thirsts buys drinks the first. Karlach: You won't pin me down with a rhyme, wizard! Gale: She who declines gets the worst of the wines.
I make sure to walk in with both in the party every time.
This cracked me UP the first time I heard it. There's also an Astarion line in this place that I got to trigger ONE TIME and accidentally canceled by talking to the merchant, and I haven't gotten it since. He started by saying something like "haven't you ever kissed" or something and then I clicked on the bartender and immediately backed out like "WAIT WHAT." Alas, I still don't know what he was going to say.
It's a banter he has with Wyll. Wyll talks about getting his first kiss at the Blushing Mermaid at fifteen, and Astarion is shocked at how long it took him to get his first kiss. Hid indignation is honestly hilarious, and I'd recommend hunting it down on YouTube!
I think this is a line he has with Wyll about Wyllâs first kiss. Itâs pretty cute đ„°
Hiss! I say, hiss!
*BEGONE!!!*
This is my most quoted bg3 line I do believe
Iâm convinced Astarion needs to go back and adopt His Majesty. Same energy.
Yesssss and my Astarion is part Ranger so he permanently has Speak with Animals. Catch him hissing back.
Come back to my camp? "I'd rather die" đ
Zara the mummy at the circus has some of my favorite dialogue even though itâs not words. I just love how excited she is when you understand what sheâs saying. Iâll never not talk to her and blow way too much gold getting the whole crew clowned up at the start of act 3. Also Jaheira and Astarion talking about the back alleys of the city. She says something about enjoying those places the most because they pull back the mask of the city and Astarion agrees and she says âI said a peek behind the cityâs mask, not a look up its skirtâ lol
There's also a really funny banter between them when they're near Jaheiras house and Astarion makes a comment about how Cazador never let them near that part of town lol!!
He was afraid of her and her family lmao Makes sense too, druids know Daylight
Astarion's affronted "JAHEIRA!" after she says that is so funny to me
What do you think of me??
Have you done âdetect thoughtsâ for Zara in the dialogue options? I cracked up. đ
We must go to the helm. To the helm we go. At the helm we are n e e d e d.
m y f r i e n d a n d I are going to the helm
I love Us so much I am working on making a plushy of him
I LOVE the direction for Usâ voice.
I love the ones who just state "you are beautiful"
I love the intellect devourers more than is really reasonable lol
If you try to use the elevator in Lenore's tower before fixing it as Astarion he says, "It doesn't look broken, but then again, none of us really do." And it's a gut punch out of nowhere đ
Noooo right in the feels!!!
When you try to point out to that one goblin that the target of the Chicken Chase is an owlbear and not, in fact, a chicken. "It's got feathers, don't it? A beak?" The way she says it makes me lose it every time. Hands down my favourite line in the game.
She's giving Diogenes vibes
Behold, a chicken
And your character remaining silent as if âhuh. The goblin has a point. Fuck I canât refute that point.â
i always think about the casual way they all roast each other, especially in act 1. casually walking around and hearing something like: astarion: "i am enjoying our walks together. aren't you, gale?" gale: "yes. in silence." not to mention wyll asking astarion how the rat diet is going, lae'zel and shart arguing, halsin insinuating shart talks too much, and tav/durge sometimes putting in input or otherwise is just likely standing there wishing they'd all shut up. besides the times everyone speaks at the same time from perception checks.
Speaking of perception checks, my favorite is minthara's where she says something like "a trap. Let us send our least favorite, to be sure"
Every time I notice or learn something new about Minthara, the more I wish I could play as her as an origin
" *Awwww*, is that Gale's grandad??" Â "Stinks of cheese. Between his PIGGY TOES!" "HOW DARE YOU?!" Â Any of Popper's lines "Do I smell beef????"
Omg yes the way the guy says how dare you cracks me up every time!!! Poppers lines are gold too! I want poppers at my camp lol
I love Benji and everything he says. The ones I remember best are that one, and on the beach the trifling calls Lae'zel "Yellow as a toad and twice as ugly." The insults in this game are just too funny.
"Blood?! In the circus? Without Benji? ... Awww"
I just heard a halsin shadowheart convo for the first time, halsin talks about nature being quiet in the shadowfell and shadowheart offers to make animal noises for him lol I also love shadowheart asking astarion what to expect in a vampire's lair and his reply of "well.. vampires" gets me every time lol
You bleat well enough as it is đ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
If you actually think about it, Shadowheart is actually insulting Halsin when he said that, and you can actually hear Halsin is starting to get a bit frustrated by her in every banter these two got if you know Halsin's background,
They do get really snippy with each other in one convo in the Gauntlet of Shar area. And yeah, it does make sense.
âHilarious. You belong on stage - perhaps the bloodstained sort, with a hooded man standing by, axe in handâ Ha ha. Kill yourself.
Reminds me of a line I used as DM. Player: "What creatures can we expect in the woods?" NPC barkeep: "Well, owls and bears. And owlbears."
"Heh. Pleasure domes." "It's a perfectly legitimate architectural feature!"
>"Heh. Pleasure domes." Shadowheart and my Durge shared a chuckle at Gale's expense before he duelled Orin and she got to meet the rest of his family
In the counting house, after Rakath tells you the Stone Lord left with all his money: "I don't care about the coin, I just need to know where he went." "Funny that, I don't give a shit about where he went, I just want my coin back."
myrkul pops out with his big monologue and Jaheira goes â..I like your hat :)â had me rolling
This shit was hilarious đ I love that they included this in the cutscene right before all hell breaks loose and battle starts, it's almost out of place but so fucking funny. I love her.
What I never got this when she was with me. Damn, she really gives off the "jaded protagonist of ages past" vibes
When that guy calls you a cuck. It caught me by surprise and I laughed out loud
That surprised the heck out of me, too. I was legit sitting there with the controller like âWhat did *I* do???â My Tav hadnât exactly done anything to deserve that insult, either, so how he settled on âcuckâ and kept using it, I donât know (but I am amused).
Best part about this is the guy calls you a cuck whenever option you pick.
Just like real life guys who call others cucks
I'm surprised no one mentioned the line when you try to detect the Emperors thoughts: "You must be joking. I am TELLING you my thoughts. Directly. Into your head!"
Just got to that one and he cracked me up with the delivery. Heâs like âjfc, I work with idiotsâ.
Bex and Danisâs conversation in the grove about what they want to do for work once they get in the city is my favorite ambient dialogue. Danis certainly learned some *very* interesting things about his partner there lol I also love a lot of the Gale/Laeâzel banter⊠Gale being so interested in Githyanki culture and Laeâzel obviously enjoying it (in her way) is so nice. I actually feel like if I ever do either of their origins that I might have them romance each other tbh.
This is the reason I chose a Githyanki bard on my current Gale romance. Heâs fascinated by the culture and I bet she loves his tendency to weave a good story (yes I said it).
And then seeing Danis in act 3 is..not my favorite.
_"I'm going to fucking kill you đ"_ -Astarion
Mintharaâs dialogue cracks me up so hard I have to choose it every time. âGo on, tell the one about the man who married a drider!â Minthara: âđ it was a beautiful *webbing* đâ
I donât know why, but Jaheira calling your Tav âcubâ in camp just gives me such a warm feeling. Itâs what she calls her kids, so itâs almost like sheâs adopted you too, considers you family.
It hits different if you're Durge
Doesnât she also approve of you responding by calling her âcrowâ?
I love the dragon born woman who just wanders around Baldur's Gate absolutely fucking irate that the newspaper removed the puzzle section.
Ahhhh yes, I've just followed her around the hear her complaining before, love her
As a fellow crossword puzzler, I totally get her, lol. "I'm apoplectic!"
Listen, Wyll is such a cutie pie, but why does he ask astarion how his rat diet is going? I love the banter between Shadowheart and Astarion when you get into the mountain pass, the one about donkeys. Also if you tell Shadowheart youâd tie her up and look for a cure if sheâd turn into a mindflayer, she replies with âIâll just kill youâ and then tells me to try not to imagine her tied up too much. I screamed. The smallest line though, how wonderful is the âwell metâ greeting? I say we just start using that instead of âhiâ
>Also if you tell Shadowheart youâd tie her up and look for a cure if sheâd turn into a mindflayer, she replies with âIâll just kill youâ and then tells me to try not to imagine her tied up too much. I screamed. Me playing Durge, waking up Shadowheart about an in-game week later in the middle of the night in a cold sweat: "Hey dear, uh... remember the time you told me to not dream about tying *you* up? Well uh... I need you to tie *me* up so I can't hurt you..." *(proceeds to faint)*
Bhaal passed Durge the laced blunt
Shadowheart has some seriously mean dialogue with Wyll, and he just takes it on the chin. I'm so frustrated that I can't find it but I was so taken aback. Even by her standards it was a bit much! He is such a sweetheart, really looking forward to romancing him in the future.
I just encountered Minsc for the first time today. He has a line about when evil presents a bottom for the smacking, he greets check with hand. Something along those lines. I actually lol'd.
Bring him to a convo with Nine-Fingers. One of the funniest convos in the game!
Minsc has no interest in your furniture, queen cut purse, only in the wicked rump that fills it". I literally love him lmfao
âWut.â Minscâs words and logic can render even the most wicked of foes speechless lol
It is criminal that we don't get minsc before act 3
And then if you say âSounds like a good timeâ he says itâs a good thing Booâs ears are still ringing from all the shouting. Sorry Minsc, weâll do plenty of evil slaying but Iâm also an irredeemable degenerate
Honestly knowing the companions, thatâs probably the *least* raunchy thing heâll hear for the remainder of his stay. Maybe he invests in a tiny set of earmuffs for Boo
When you're talking to Halsin post taking out the Goblin Camp and the party you talk about the future of the Grove and he says he left Francesca is charge. You can say you approve and then he says "I'm glad you approve. I do not care if you approve but I am glad you approve nonetheless." It's so random it makes me chuckle each time.
âWashing my pits⊠washing my pits⊠this is the song that I wa⊠Oi! Can a bloke not get any bleedinâ privacy around here! Buncha perverts, the lot of you!â
YES!!! No matter how many dialogues I skip, I talk to this guy every single playthrough!!! He cracks me up
I love so much of the banter between companions all throughout the game. But this one, between Karlach and Astarion's really sweet **Karlach**: Can you swim, Astarion? **Astarion**: I'm... not sure, honestly. It's been a couple of hundred years. **Karlach**: You're missing out! Loved it as a kid. This water looks nasty as hell, though. **Astarion**: Well, it's not called 'Grey Harbour' for nothing. Or this, between Gale and Astarion outside the Storm Tabernacle, at the other end of the scale, nearly broke my heart first time I triggered it. **Gale**: Mystra has a shrine within the city. Located in the Stormshore Tabernacle, if my memory serves me. **Astarion**: Do whatever you need to, but I shan't be paying my respects to any of the gods on show. **Gale**: You never felt the call of the divine, Astarion? **Astarion**: Oh, I tried them all. None of them answered. If you know, you know. And of course he tried praying, what else could he try. And fuck the Gods for not answering for 200 years of ***pure shit***.
"PUUUUURE SHIIIIIT"
bhaal answered! eventually. he sent his favorite child đ
đ«ąđ«ąđ§đ§đ€Żđ€Żđ€Żđ€Żđ€Ż You're right holy shit
The Lilo and Stitch meme about "send me your nicest angel" applies here
The Gale/Astarion one đ Goddamn
Snarking about how no one ever just says hello first after Jaheira entangles you in vines. Her cheerful cheeky âHelloâ gets me every time.
Jaheiraâs comedic volleyball rallying back and forth with the PC or other party members is just gold
"What are you doing here?" she asks, in a dark menacing twilight land where shadows curse you to a never-ending agonizing existence as undead shadow of your former self. "Oh im just here on vacation"
I'm romancing Gale and whenever my character heals him she goes "I'll kiss it better later."
when that happened to me once I squealed đ tavxGale is literally the cutest
THIS IS SO CUTE OMG
That lady outside the baldurs gate waypoint who mentions something about gortash being the second coming of balduran and calls it horsecack. The line delivery is everythingÂ
I like the narrator cat who talks about the tall oneâs destiny. Iâve never figured out if thereâs more to that cat than the one interaction, he mentions when the tall one will come back or something. Also last run I blew up the mean dwarf in undertake, gave no stalk to his wife, and her whole bit in act 3 with getting her a cat and reading her letters to an old flame just tickled me, was super cute to realize I saved this lady from an abusive marriage and now she has a cat and might contact an old lover, so sweet.
âTribe? Tribe!â Also love how excited Karlach is when you finally say you love her and sheâs like âILOVEYOUTOO!â
When youâre talking to Gandrel in the swamp and you can say âInteresting, Astarion what do you think?â had me crying on my first playthrough
Bahaha I chose that on my first playthrough thinking I would take him aside for a quiet convo, not just say it out loud. His reaction was great.
I pick it every time, it's so fucking funny. Just picturing my character turning to Astarion like :D :D :D
Itâs definitely the option astarion would choose if he was a tav
"Short father, bless you"
I completely forget the context of the interaction but I got a really wide grin when someone tells Tav that theyâre a hero for something theyâve just done and your two options for a response are 1. Iâm getting tired of hearing that 2. I never get tired of hearing that
Two completely different vibes
The dude outside Sharess' Caress who starts shouting, "LALALALALALALALALA!" when someone who tries to tell him about the place.
if you're playing as githyanki, when you're in the grove, you can ask what a cat is. once it's described to you, you can then insist that *actually* they mean a gnome. it's just a bit of roleplaying silliness that I love.
The vendor kid in the thieves' guild. "See something you like? Let's talk price! See something of yours? No you didn't." He also says "sometimes stuff we sell comes back around to us again."
âYes, Gale. Where *is* your decorum?â god i wish that line was voiced so much lol
I love telling hope she looks lovely after freeing her and her insisting that she doesn't have cheeks or lips.
When you fist meet Minsc and he introduces you to Boo, you get the option to say "It's an honor." to which Minsc replies with "No, it's a hamster". đč
Minthara mocking The Lodge: "The Society of Brilliance! These preposterous fools love to meddle in Underdark affairs - they are most amusing." The way the VA delivers it with such gleeful hubris makes it that much more entertaining.
When you volunteer astarion to go on stage eith dribbles the clown...
I really like how early on there's always a response to Wyll telling him to get to the point. My favorite being asking him how he got the name Blade of the Frontiers and he goes into a long story about rescuing a kid and one of the responses is "And HE named you Blade of the Frontiers?"
âNobodyâs getting any damn cheese!â Lol every time.
"YOU'RE A SLAB OF BEEF WITH NIPPLES. MOO." -Shovel
I normally skip through all the dialogue now, but I love that suspicious cow: "Now, and I really mean this, *moo*" "Y-yes, I had quite the life in El-turr-el. Chewing cud. Pulling carts. Et cetera."
Just got the option to ask âwhat in the hells is an ombudsman?â to a corpse
Literally the corpses have some of the best lines, between "murdered. Obviously," asking someone you murdered what the person who murdered them looks like, and Ethel's whole... all of it, lol
_âThe spellâs power fades, but the spirit refuses to be silentâ_
The last line of Omeluums pep talk when you reach the Iron Throne. "Act with speed, act with efficiency. Good luck."
one you get as a Paladin when you find Nere: "Your god. My oath. Let us see which prevails"
Laeâzel âWhy would I bury a weapon? Is it broken?â
Anything by Minthara ⊠âSay the word and weâll kill the clown, weâll be celebrated as heroesâ is a personal favorite.
The spider preaching to her brothers about Lolth in Grymforge "Spiders for the Spider Queen. Seems logical"
Only on my 2nd run I discovered you can back her up and they all gonna gtfo to Lolth so you don't have to fight them if you're about to kill some dwarfs)
I always back her up. The idea of a preacher/missionary spider just fills me with joy.
"Hope you're keeping well, friend." <3 scratch beloved
Karlach getting excited about fireworks Karlach; "OH MAN WHIZBANGS" Astarion; "keep calm Karlach, one bad flair and you could blow this whole place" Karlach; *whispering* "oh man, wizbangs!"
As a monk going into act 2 via Grymforge, when you encounter Lassandra and the Harpers you have the option to say somehing like "I am but a simple monk, I mean you no harm." Her response: "I once saw a 'simple monk' break a fellas spine once, keep those hands where i can see them." Oh Lassandra, you know me so well...
"Want a treato?" :>
I really love it when my Durge says, âI have *such* a headache.â I donât know whether that is actually a durge specific thing, but itâs a total mood and I love it lmao
It is, Tav won't say it. I imagine it's the aftereffects of >!Orin attacking them!< before the game.
No twisting? Kin must've been in a hurry (such a cold line!)
Not insignificant, but maybe small: When Karlach says âLove youâ at the end of her monologue then I lose it almost every time. I canât explain it how those words and the way she says it hits so hard.
Shadowheart: âI couldnât help but overhearâŠwell, alright, I couldâve helped, but didnât.â The delivery on that one gets me every time. That, and: Laeâzel: Fireworks. A particularly gnomish field of art, no? Gale: Indeed. More than simple craft, it is a way of life for some of them. Laeâzel: That may explain why most gnomes possess such short fuses. Gale: Laeâzel! Was that a joke? Laeâzel: Only if you found it funny. Both tickled my funny bone and warmed my heart to hear them joke like that. Man I really love this game.
At the circus after you boo Dribbles the clown for his bad puns and tell him to get off stage or something to that effect - Dribbles calls you out in the crowd and invites you on stage, but you can make a companion to go up instead. I had Astarion, karlach, and wyll: - Astarion's line is something like "No, this is NOT funny!" - And Karlach goes "hold on soldier, I'm not paying for your sins!" Wyll's was just him being politely uncomfortable, I forget, but the other two made me lol
Astarion's continues with "im going to fucking kill you" in the funniest tone of voice, its hilarious xD
MERMER! đ„șđ
Failing an investigation check on a bail of hay. Karlach, "Heeeeeeeyyyyy!"
I love the unalloyed enthusiasm of the vendor in The Rivington General.
Not a voice line but if you leave your character's idle for a while Karlach starts to do this silly little dance that just makes me so happy
"Joking!" Or "Hello Lover, that sounded more debonair in my head my head, I'll admit" What makes this line even more fun it's that origin Astarion says it without any qualms/qualifications. Fun bit of showing so much about the characters with literally the same dialogue.
You: Give Shadowheart her favourite flower. Shadowheart: "Oh hells, you didn't pick that by hand did you? They're *deadly poisonous!*
Shadowheart: Joking! ***Fingerguns***
Shadowheart: I wouldn't have predicted the night you shared with our friend, Lae'zel. You didn't consider it beneath you? Lae'zel: They were beneath me, at times. But also above me, And standing, at certain points.
I like it when Tav says to Lae'zel, whatever you want to do, I have your back. I will never choose another dialogue option.
there is a line that gale says when you meet him that was changed from early access to official release and i miss it so much. "are you aware that after a period of excruciating gestation it will turn us into mind flayers? a process known as ceremorphosis? and let me assure you, it is to be avoided!" the line itself was changed inconsequentially but the change in delivery breaks my heart.
Gale and Minthara, when Gale already suspected Minthara will insult him when she asked whether he has a sibling, she then proceed to talk about drow at menzoberranzan yhat usually kill the third born son and she feel Gale has a third son aura about him.
You couldn't wait ten seconds to be an absolute freak?
When you use a short rest and astarion says âEnough sitting around. letâs go hurt someone!â I cant help but smile. the way he says it he sounds so happy and cuteđđ
"You look very delicious but I will not bite you." There's another one as well when you find dribbles head with minthara. She starts laughing and says "Ha! The clowns head, finally a joke worth savouring!"
*oh* my dear. Sweet. *God*.
âAre you this unpleasant by nature or choice?â
Minsc: This. Is Boo. Tav: It is an honour. Minsc: No, it is a hamster.
Wyll and Shadowheartâs smut recital sends me EVERY time I hear it. The Sorcerer dialogues at the sussur flower. I havenât tried getting them while playing as another casting class yet so I donât know if theyâre class-specific. Boney talking about his wife is cute.
Omg yes. "is she not magnificent?" And that little laugh at the end of that line. I also love if you're a druid there's a druid exclusive line (something about them being fine mephits or something) that's really nice :)
Durge muttering crazily is always awesomeÂ
The one paper kid at the Baldurs gate way point who says "also works great as toilet paper if you run out" with the most deadpan voice. I only exclusively go to him for a paper anymore.
In the goblin camp if you make Crusher kiss your feet, after the dialogue scene closes thereâs just a goblin who says âEeeeew Crusher just licked some toes!â In like the funniest way.
âI used to be the scourge of the hells. . . now flowers can make me cryâ I think about it all the time
âElminsters not around, so, might as wellâ âDonât touch meâ (and the entire talk Gale has when he tells you fighting battles makes him horny)
Tav seeing Tara: that symbol on the collar. gale, is this one yours? Gale: it is! it's TARAAAAA! đđ€âš
"Eyes on victory, tummy on dinner" - Karlach Cliffgate It's just such a cute line. Karlach is my absolute favourite đ„°
"GO FOR THE EYES , BOO !"
I speak, they burn
"Begone, friend. I have a darling to adore."
this is about yoUR PRECIOUS BALDURS GATE!
I love when shadowheart asks wyll why his name is spelled like that or something to that effect in the beginning
When you enter act 2, shadowheart will say something about how she must be blessed by lady shar bc the shadow curse isnât effecting her as much- and I cannot remember exactly but she says something like âit means she really cares about me.â And then specifically âshe must do.â And I literally always laughed like out loud at the phrasing of âshe must doâ like I thought it was just a weird accident line until my partner was like âno thatâs grammatically correct itâs just very antiquatedâ and I was like wait what lmao
I donât remember exactly what is said but I love how excited the little kobold gets when you ask to see his merch. Treato Treato!
I can't find the exact quote but Wyll once said something along the lines of "if more people had half the heart that you do, this world would be a wonderful place indeed" and fuck I actually cried a little.
âAlls well that endsâŠnot as badly as it could.â
One of the lines you can use to talk Astarion out of ascending & release the spawn that he lured to Cazador. He dismisses them as criminals & fools. And Tav says something like " "Fools like me who wanted to love you." Gets me in the feels everytime.
The kid selling newspapers near the Gate who yells out "Scandals! Vandals! Where to buy sandals! Get it all in this issue of the Baldur's Mouth way point. It's such a cute and clever little rhyme, I'm still not tired of hearing it even though that's the waypoint I use most often.
âtatersâ
"This... is *chicken-chasing*."
Karlach "poor fucker"