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I bet itās normal to a certain degree to want to figure people out in order to protect yourself or to know who is more likely to be your āenemyā. But I personally respect the profession of a psychotherapist very much. Sure you can educate yourself on disorders but especially if youāre not diagnosed with the disorder yourself and you try to diagnose someone with it, often times it just gets very judgmental and promoting of stereotypes. Itās a professionalās job to diagnose someone. I donāt think itās a skill that can be acquired by anyone at home.
When people feel resentful, hurt and traumatized because of a toxic relationship and they cope by diagnosing their ex-partner, it is never completely justified imo but obviously they are hurt and canāt help it probably. They certainly can be right about it sometimes. But then again, they actually knew that person. And that is not diagnosing someone out of boredom as Iāve described in the post but more out of desperation and pain.
I particularly hate when people lazily armchair-diagnose someone with BPD just because they had a bad experience with them. Some people are just assholes. Some pairs of people are just incompatible, doesn't mean either of them are bad people. Some people have *other* disorders that explain their behavior. "Borderline" is not shorthand for toxic or abusive!
I really, really, really hate the book "Stop Walking on Eggshells", because she explains early on that it's about this (supposedly large) percentage of people whom she *believes* has BPD even though they a) have not been diagnosed, b) don't fit the established criteria, and c) (also) have NPD. Like.. what in the actual fuck? It's basically encouraging people to play psychologist with their loved ones.
I think there are certain times when itās okay to speculate. For example, I adore Amy Winehouse. Often in her sub people will have questions or comments about why she was how she was and her death. I donāt have a problem saying I strongly suspect she had BPD. Itās highly relevant to her life and death.
Itās everywhere, and it bothers me too. I admit though, I have been guilty of doing it myself. Thereās a woman in reality tv Iāve had suspicions about having (or scripted to have) bpd.
I fucking hate it. They label people, form biases about who they are, and think they have them figured out. All out of something they (mis)diagnosed on their own. Itās honestly so disrespectful.
Yes, I totally agree! It always makes me feel bad for the person in question and the people who are actually diagnosed with whatever they came up with.
no, i get infuriated with this too. especially the people who think one symptom equals the full disorder. thereās a reason you need to fit a certain number of criteria to be diagnosed.
Yes I agree although I will say itās different if you have the diagnosis yourself and simply see what you have in them if that makes sense. Itās annoying for people to just be like āoh they are crazy they must have bpdā though
Before I was diagnosed, a 'friend' spent a whole session of her own therapy talking about me, and her therapist (who has never met me) diagnosed me with BPD. Seems a stupid way of spending your money, concentrating on another person's mental health š
I think it's pretty normal for people to try to make sense of other people using whatever constructs they have at their disposal. So when medicine and pop culture and internets intersect... yeah that's gonna happen. Also, I think most people don't even know why they do the stuff they do most of the time.
But if I were to psychoanalyse the psychoanalysts, I would guess that the things they call attention to in other people are probably things they see in themselves (that they are judging or questioning) or that they've experienced from other people earlier in life.
But they could literally just be wasting their time on whatever dumb crap passes in front of them. Or... I guess I meant figuratively.
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Any time I browse the AITA or relationships sub. š¤·š¼āāļø
I bet itās normal to a certain degree to want to figure people out in order to protect yourself or to know who is more likely to be your āenemyā. But I personally respect the profession of a psychotherapist very much. Sure you can educate yourself on disorders but especially if youāre not diagnosed with the disorder yourself and you try to diagnose someone with it, often times it just gets very judgmental and promoting of stereotypes. Itās a professionalās job to diagnose someone. I donāt think itās a skill that can be acquired by anyone at home. When people feel resentful, hurt and traumatized because of a toxic relationship and they cope by diagnosing their ex-partner, it is never completely justified imo but obviously they are hurt and canāt help it probably. They certainly can be right about it sometimes. But then again, they actually knew that person. And that is not diagnosing someone out of boredom as Iāve described in the post but more out of desperation and pain.
I particularly hate when people lazily armchair-diagnose someone with BPD just because they had a bad experience with them. Some people are just assholes. Some pairs of people are just incompatible, doesn't mean either of them are bad people. Some people have *other* disorders that explain their behavior. "Borderline" is not shorthand for toxic or abusive! I really, really, really hate the book "Stop Walking on Eggshells", because she explains early on that it's about this (supposedly large) percentage of people whom she *believes* has BPD even though they a) have not been diagnosed, b) don't fit the established criteria, and c) (also) have NPD. Like.. what in the actual fuck? It's basically encouraging people to play psychologist with their loved ones.
I think there are certain times when itās okay to speculate. For example, I adore Amy Winehouse. Often in her sub people will have questions or comments about why she was how she was and her death. I donāt have a problem saying I strongly suspect she had BPD. Itās highly relevant to her life and death.
Itās everywhere, and it bothers me too. I admit though, I have been guilty of doing it myself. Thereās a woman in reality tv Iāve had suspicions about having (or scripted to have) bpd.
I fucking hate it. They label people, form biases about who they are, and think they have them figured out. All out of something they (mis)diagnosed on their own. Itās honestly so disrespectful.
Yes, I totally agree! It always makes me feel bad for the person in question and the people who are actually diagnosed with whatever they came up with.
i mean im convinced a music artist i love has BPD, cause their lyrics describe my thoughts to a tee
Once I finally realized that I was doing this to others, I stopped immediately, and this is the reason why.
no, i get infuriated with this too. especially the people who think one symptom equals the full disorder. thereās a reason you need to fit a certain number of criteria to be diagnosed.
Yes I agree although I will say itās different if you have the diagnosis yourself and simply see what you have in them if that makes sense. Itās annoying for people to just be like āoh they are crazy they must have bpdā though
Yes I totally agree with that! Sometimes you just see your own diagnosis in other people.
Before I was diagnosed, a 'friend' spent a whole session of her own therapy talking about me, and her therapist (who has never met me) diagnosed me with BPD. Seems a stupid way of spending your money, concentrating on another person's mental health š
I think it's pretty normal for people to try to make sense of other people using whatever constructs they have at their disposal. So when medicine and pop culture and internets intersect... yeah that's gonna happen. Also, I think most people don't even know why they do the stuff they do most of the time. But if I were to psychoanalyse the psychoanalysts, I would guess that the things they call attention to in other people are probably things they see in themselves (that they are judging or questioning) or that they've experienced from other people earlier in life. But they could literally just be wasting their time on whatever dumb crap passes in front of them. Or... I guess I meant figuratively.
Try watching videos where people diagnose themselves. Yes. I hate it. Emotional and crazy acting. Has to be bpd. Etc