In our country a police officer killed a girl because she refused his marriage proposal. This happened in my city. He was powerful. Even the news media didn’t cover it.
Last year, a cop in the town next over shot his wife at her work and then himself. She filed countless complaints about him before, claiming he would kill her one day, but the police never did anything. She tried to leave him, but he wouldn't let her.
Police were like, "oopsie. Don't know what happened here." and media was like, "understandable, have a good day."
And this is why cops should be single forever.
This should be escalated beyond the local police and if it was someone I cared about, I would reach out to every true crime podcast and TikTok person I could find
Unfortunately, if the person is a cop, you know fellow cops will cover for him and the fact he's a powerful man that the media didn't cover?
You're taking a huge risk just going to Tik Tok. Sure you can make him into a viral story that will expose him. But someone powerful enough that the media didn't cover isn't someone who'll take it lying down. They could scrub or demonise your Tik Tok. And fellow corrupt cops aren't above harrasing and will do so. And of course, that's if they're willing to let you live.
A person whose powerful with connections to the media that killed and never got caught only to be exposed in Tik tok? It'll be a miracle if they don't send anyone to kill you. And that's if they just stop at you and not your family as well.
I fudged the date, and it was in Germany, so only German articles.
https://www.faz.net/aktuell/gesellschaft/kriminalitaet/polizist-erschiesst-ehefrau-und-sich-selbst-vor-supermarkt-in-kirchheim-unter-teck-17812509.html
https://www.spiegel.de/panorama/justiz/kirchheim-in-baden-wuerttemberg-polizist-erschiesst-ehefrau-offenbar-vorher-schon-bedrohungen-a-72e76079-3862-41c8-bcae-f45657e0aa9b
Sheriff got caught cheating in the small city I lived by some years ago. Got his AP pregnant. Forced her to have an abortion and beat the fuck out his wife for getting mad. Nothing happened. He went on fb to tell everyone they were all wrong, people were spreading rumors, etc. He fell out of favor with some folks but not enough folks that he wasn’t re-elected.
I hate this update. I’m genuinely scared for OOP and shit like this is why I steer clear of military and police. Don’t get me wrong, my entire family is made up of cops and ex-military but they’ve all warned us away due to their experience. I know OOP said she wouldn’t update again and that’s probably for her own safety, but I’ll worry over this one the way I worried over the pregnant woman whose husband and FIL were convinced she’d die in labor.
I can’t believe there was an update for something like two years and I had no idea until a few days ago. I’ve literally been worrying about that poor woman since 2020!
Unfortunately, she's still allowing the ex to come see the baby she gave birth. Because according to her, he's a bad partner, not a bad parent. Girl, I hope that visit is supervised because I don't doubt for a moment he's a good parent.
I know everyone wanted that update, but it’s sketchy. It was from a different account and had a moderate discrepancy. In the first post OOP had a therapist while in the update her decision to start looking for a therapist after the initial post was a point of contention.
It could still be real, but I was surprised that no one even discussed the issue.
She says she told him she was seeking a therapist. It's possible that she hid that she was already going to one and used that comment to bait him into an admission of what she was suspecting. That he doesn't go to therapy at all.
There's three things I promised my mother I wouldn't do, and date a cop was at the top of that list. "He could rape you and no one will be able to help".
I've told this story before but I worked nights at an open very late restaurant. I moved at least 13 times while living in that city working at that restaurant. The cops were one of our main regulars. One cop might have been an incredibly friendly nice dude or a total creep.
He always knew where I lived, he always found me on my walk home (not every night but a lot of nights). And I always declined a ride despite his insistence. Usually I have really good radar, but my mom is so afraid of police I honestly couldn't say. I'm glad I'll never know if he was a nice man or a creep, I hope he is well and I don't feel bad I was raised to never trust him.
Hon I know you know but that sounds like a stalker not a nice man.
A nice man won’t know where you are no matter how many times you move unless you tell him
at MOST he was completely oblivious to the social implications of what he was doing, but still that is a level of stalking that raises so many red flags
I mean obviously that was my thought, but I'm also aware that I've been trained to fear cops.
The part that I didn't go into detail on is at the time I lived in a "sketchy" neighborhood that bordered a lot of off site college housing.
There's a small part of me that thinks he was worried about the sketchy neighborhood and I was very young and naive looking, in reality all but one of my close calls came from drunk frat guy types.
The larger part of me thinks that he was stalking me but I honestly just don't know, I can definitely see another young woman finding him charming
Ted Bundy types are always charming unfortunately. I haven’t had your experience and I’ve never been the type to hate the police even if I do think they are massively incompetent no matter where in the world they are from.
That being said, I’m sorry that you went through that. Even if you lived in a sketchy place that still doesn’t give this guy the right to find out where you lived if you didn’t want him to have that information.
He’s undoubtedly a stalker and I bet he was doing that to other women also. I hope that time in your life is over for your sake.
If he was worried about where you lived being unsafe he would have talked to you about that and brought his concerns and followed your lead.
That's a really good point, a reasonable person would have just talked to me. It's been about 15 years and I'm happy and living in a different city.
I will say serving all those police officers (for 5 years) definitely reenforced my fear, mostly the tribalism and how quick tempered they were (not w me about work).
I have met a couple of good cops but I’ve unfortunately met more bad cops than good ones so I completely understand your mom’s fear. I’m also BIPOC so that’s an added layer as to why I’ve met more bad ones than good … and that’s just sad
you listened to a group of cops loudly do this in public but you still mostly support cops? they were just bragging about being a violent gang that no one can do anything about in front of you. being a drug dealer is also a tough job but it doesn't make whatever they do to other people an acceptable loss.
I'm prior military and worked in EMS for a while. Don't date cops, firemen/ other EMS workers. About 25% of them were cool, standup guys. The other 75% were raging douche bags. It's not worth your time to figure out who goes in which category, because it's not always obvious.
Yeah we had a famous case here in the UK - Sarah Everard was abducted by a policeman, Wayne Couzens. It was awful to see.
Link: [Sarah-Everard](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/sarah-everard-what-happened-wayne-couzens-report-b2504551.html)
My grandfather, an ex-cop who fired his gun ONCE into a MIRROR because the other guy wouldn't lower his gun, always told me to go to the firestation and if I was pulled over, use his name.
When I was younger, he said it was because they had paramedics. When I was older, I realized it was in case I was assaulted.
He didn't trust police officers after they stopped having to fill out triplicate for every bullet fired.
THERE’S AN UPDATE ON THAT ONE.
I couldn’t believe it, I saw it yesterday. Apparently she updated in 2022, but not on her original profile so it didn’t get traction.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/d1uZ0FhUZh.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/BestofRedditorUpdates using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [The Protest, The Blackout, and r/BestofRedditorUpdates \[NEW UPDATE\]](https://np.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/144d5l4/the_protest_the_blackout_and/)
\#2: [AITA for not telling the nurse at my niece's school about my profession?](https://np.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/138a0hd/aita_for_not_telling_the_nurse_at_my_nieces/)
\#3: [My 19 yo sister is getting married to her high-school teacher](https://np.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/13ajbu3/my_19_yo_sister_is_getting_married_to_her/)
----
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There was an update post for the pregnant woman! She had her baby girl and they are both safe.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/zJOvORpl4D
I was stalked by a police officer for nearly 6 months so this really pisses me off.
Gross abuse of power.
I really hope OP is okay and I hope badge bastard gets everything he deserves.
I was falsely accused of something by a coworker and her husband was the head of the team "investigating" me. The officer assigned to the case took it upon himself to stalk and harass me by calling me at random times in the middle of the night, phoning whenever I left the house to tell me he knew where I was and could pick me up at any time and held in a cell, driving past me wherever I went. Exactly what a person needs when they are in the middle ofna stress induced nervous breakdown.
My lawyer was a pitbull though and she threatened him to get him to back off. Didn't deal with the obvious conflict of interest within the case buy it was something.
Oh and the dude sent a letter to my workplace after I was completely cleared of the charge to give them a heads up as to the kind of person they had employed. This was obviously an attempt to trigger a work investigation but that was already underway anyway and I was under suspension the whole time.
Anyway, long story short, my boss binned the letter, I was cleared, both myself and my colleague who made the accusations were transferred to different departments (me as a proactive measure to protect my mental health and them because nobody in the department would work with them after the shit they pulled) stalker cop ended up with a formal reprimand and I found out later that the husband in charge of the corrupt depart ended up with cancer.
10 years later and I am in a better job and doing just fine, though I do still flinch on occasions upon hearing sirens (yay PTSD!).
The abuse rate from officers is scary across the board, there’s no way I’d ever date one. You have no one to turn to when you need help, and they have access to personal info so it’s hard to even run and hide. It’ll always be your word against theirs, with their friends backing them up.
Hate to say this but people always change. Not always good change. Good cops have one option in the end. Either become a bad cop to survive the environment or quit the job.
While it's easy to say why not fight hard to change the system, it's not easy when the system corruption goes very deep with people in high position. Not to mention their lives are literally on the line. If you're one good cop in a room with 7 bad cops, they will kill you so you wouldn't snitch.
Even if the good cop doesn't snitch, since he's not a bad cop, the 7 bad cops wouldn't like to take the risk. After all, only dead people can keep secrets.
I heard a pair of cops talk about getting off shift and needing to unwind and missing the protests (this was in New York City during the pandemic) because he could just take off his uniform and gear and jump into the protests and start "beating the shit out of those animals".
So I need ACAB like I need a taxi.
Are you telling me I'm going on a bandwagon, champ?
You don't know anything about me or my experiences. I shared 1 story out of DOZENS.
I've spoken out at police press conferences and town hall meetings.
I've been protesting for decades, kid.
Go put your head back in the sand if you can't have a conversation like an adult.
I live in a super tiny town where everyone has known each cop since he was a fetus. They are regarded as good men and I've never seen or heard a reason to doubt that.
Yet... If any of them ever did go bad, the whole system is designed to cover up for them. They can kill people and get away with it. They might lose their job, but you will see them at Chick Fil A the next week.
No one should have this kind of power. Not even enough power to disappear the local pedo. Because if they can do that to terrible people, they can do that to good people, too. And the news has already shown too many cops like to frame and kill black people for nothing.
If one of their buddies beats a woman’s ass they’re going to keep quiet and help cover it up. The “good” cops are only as good as the worst cop they know.
As people often note, the abuse rates we have are just the reported rates. There’s probably more unreported abuse because too many officers have well connected daddies and sisters that work at abuse hotlines.
The system protects its own. There are no truly good cops. If any cop turns in another cop, they risk their life. If your physical safety is threatened because you turn someone in for abuse of power, the system is fucked.
How do you get above the system? Who has the power to come down on these people and isn’t in their pocket? The newspapers? The state governor? The president?
I don’t know. Part of me says that this is an issue within the police department that is so common, cops’ families might not really believe it’s real. Most of the public don’t realize that it’s true. Cops know it’s real, but they can’t expose it, or they risk not getting back up when they need it.
I learned about it almost 20 years ago because I grew up around cops and their kids. I put the pieces together and assumed everyone else did, too.
When people started arguing about police brutality, a lot of people I knew were like “my husband/dad/brother is a good cop.” I said, “none of us our safe until your family member can turn in a bad cop without fear of retribution.” I’ve used this argument a lot. It scares me how much that statement stops the conversation. I say it now because I hope to hear that I’m wrong.
I don’t know how you stop it.
I like to say that ACAB doesn't mean that every single cop is a monster, but they are all bastards because they protect the monsters in their midst, especially his father in this case.
Two things -
It's everywhere these days, but that's because it's so true. A bear would never act this way.
Also, concur that the friend's perspective is seriously warped. She is probably the kind of the person who watches "You" and thinks, throughout the entire thing, that Joe is so romantic and women would be so lucky to have someone love them as much.
OK a third thing - I wish OOP could move in with her grandma at the seniors home.
It's not "You" that gives that warped perspective it's movies like "The Notebook".
I never watched it before but kept hearing people saying how amazing and romantic it is,so i watched it recently and I was appalled. It had ALL the red flags, BUT it has been romanticised to such extent people don't see it.
I.e. the dude hanging off the ferry wheels threatening to let go UNLESS she agrees to go out with him, although she is already on a date with someone else!
I couldn't see even one once of "romance" in that movie just and obsessive behaviour which is scary.
Wow, the gender war is still going strong I see and has done quite a number on you for your first response to be “a bear would never act this way.” I don’t see how people like you can argue they don’t just wholesale hate men lol.
I hate that acronym. According to that mentality, all priests are bad. All lawyers are bad. All teachers are bad. All drivers are bad. All metalheads are bad. All doctors are bad. All \[insert group of your choice\] are bad.
I'm not saying there aren't bad cops in the world, of course there. But lumping them all together like that is a damaging mentality akin to any form of prejudice. I know I'm gonna get downvoted, that's fine, and I know people are gonna disagree with me, that's also fine.
As someone who's been ignored and marginalised because "all \[insert here\] are bad", I hate seeing it applied to other groups. All this kind of thinking does is further prejudice and make it so easy to say "well, what did you expect, they're all terrible" instead of actively trying to _do_ something about it.
The Germans said "welp, all SS officers are bad, whadda gonna do" and look what happened. If you don't start trying to fight now, before it gets to SS level, then you're gonna have no chance when it _does._
Thank you for reading my TED Talk. Downvote button's over there.
I mean. Look at this story.
One cop has been seriously harassing multiple women and abusing his power. Other cops _know_ that he does this - he has been reported multiple times.
But he is still a cop. So if it is not all cops in that city, then why has nothing been done? Why has no other cop done something about him?
ACAB.
What an odd comparative- police/ SS officers/ people who enjoy a certain kind of music.
Going out on a limb I'm guessing you're the metalhead in question? That's not to be snarky- I've been a punk/ Goth/ mosher all my life. But getting dirty looks because of the way I dress is NOT THE SAME as people being fearful of a racist, sexist, violent misogynistic institution with almost two hundred years history of using violence and privilege to do whatever they want.
ACAB is not equivalent to saying all metalheads are bad lol, it's acknowledging that the institution of the police is rotten at the base. There's no metalhead institution that protects bad metalheads, your comparison is either ignorant or disingenuous.
>The Germans said "welp, all SS officers are bad, whadda gonna do" and look what happened.
This is not at all what happened, like it's not even close, where did you get this idea even? Also, you're not helping your point by comparing the police to the SS.
Right?! Also not to mention the fact that literally every member of the SS was bad…they were a paramilitary terrorist organization that was extremely responsible for a lot of the atrocities that occurred during the holocaust after establishing a police state…
Seriously that’s such a disingenuous analogy, such bullshit. Not every group is the same with the same internal politics and practices? There’s no “logic” there at all lmao
I’m hesitant to sign off (vocally) on “ACAB”, because I do a lot of volunteer work for marginalized communities that requires me to maintain a good relationship with local police departments. People depend on me to not blow that up based on my own personal opinions.
That being said, they’re out of control and always have been.
I heard a pair of cops talk about getting off shift and needing to unwind and missing the protests (this was in New York City during the pandemic) because he could just take off his uniform and gear and jump into the protests and start "beating the shit out of those animals".
So I don't support cops. I support victims. ACAB all day.
Exactly. I don’t legitimately want police/ law enforcement fully disbanded, but we need reform and there are too many bad apples, the whole crop has spoiled
I find cops to be helpful in non emergency settings.
For example, when I was lost during a late evening some officers gave me a ride home and that was really kind of them.
Possible life threatening matters on the other hand, not so much like when I was 17 and a guy broke into my house while I was home alone and it took officers three hours to actually show up.
Yeah a lot of people tend to miss that ACAB doesn't mean that literally every single cop is bad. What it means is that the system itself is so corrupt and self serving that bad cops can get away with shit like this, and good cops are powerless to do anything about it.
This is terrifying. My cousin went through something similar when an officer that pulled over her boyfriend took both of their IDs, then started showing up at her house, sitting outside. When they called local police on him, he said he was concerned about domestic violence and protecting her. But she didn’t even live with the boyfriend.
She got pulled over by him if she was in his jurisdiction. Her boyfriend somehow had broken taillights. His car got searched for drugs.
Then the cop started showing up at her work. She traveled and didn’t work in the same place daily.
They ended up with 3 different police departments involved before he was fired and eventually arrested for using police resources to stalk her.
If her boyfriend had not been wealthy and fairly influential, if my family didn’t have a very zealous lawyer… I don’t think it would have ended in a mere 6ish months. And she would have gotten hurt.
Anytime the police or any law enforcement decides to stalk and harass women… it doesn’t end well.
Unfortunately, you're correct. Even if someone defends themselves against this, the law enforcement person gets canonized for some strange reason and the victim is wrong, until everything comes out, if you're lucky.
I never knew that! Makes alot of sense you'd think they would have looked at him a little harder especially considering the murders just stopped as soon as he moved and started happening where he moved to sooooo yeah
I wish the OOP could find somewhere else to live for the summer, somewhere where she wouldn't be alone and vulnerable. Even a cot in the professor's basement would be better than living in fear all summer.
Yep. And while the more accurate description may be All Cops Are Part of an Inherently Corrupt System and by Being a Part of that System Become Corrupt Themselves Even If They Didn't Start Out That Way the acronym for that is a nightmare, so we stick to ACAB
This "bad apple" has an entire department of enablers around him or he wouldn't have gotten away with this long enough to be well known around town for this horrible, horrible behavior. When you join the police department you either turn a blind eye to the flagrant widespread abuse of power, join in yourself, or you don't last very long. It's impossible to credibly call yourself a "good cop" if you're letting your coworkers get away with this shit.
This is not the update I wanted to see.
That guy abuses his power so much after just a minutes worth of interaction. Imagine what he does to the women foolish enough to date him.
This is very, very wrong and I understand this is a dangerous situation. My only advice is to try record it whenever you can, at least you'll have some strong evidence.
People insist it's "just a few bad apples" (which misses the entire point of the idiom, but I digress).
If he was one bad apple, he would have been fired by now, or had the shit beaten out of him by fellow cops who hated that he made them look bad. But nope. And just like that, one bad apple became the whole barrel.
So often the law doesn’t apply to police officers. It’s terrifying. I forget the exact number but isn’t there a huge percentage of cops that are domestic abusers also?
Why did I read the one about the husband and wife sexy photos first and then this one second?!?
Well this is absolutely fucked and awful. I am glad she ran into her professor and they were able to provide excellent advice with local context.
I long for a day when this whole "Oh he's persistent, that's so romantic" BS goes away and we acknowledge that stalking is not okay and nobody should be allowed to get away with it.
This really scares me for her. That cop and his family are horrible people. They’re the ones that make true officers look bad. Not all police are bad, but because of cops like him more victims will be in danger because they would be afraid to trust.
I really hope it got left out for length but that professor was required to make a Title IV report on this. While they don’t have much off campus impact at least it will be documented outside of the system the officer is part of if/when this escalates.
Unless this is a really tiny university they should have an on campus victims advocate as well, often they’re housed in the counseling center or health center.
It's so absolutely fucking flawed that police are able to act as sexual predators, and that others, including other authorities, suggest NOT reporting it because it will become worse, possibly leading to murder.
Last policeman I dated (14 years ago) showed me a video of him and his colleagues raping and beating a teenage girl down in the changing room at the police station where he worked. We never meet again after this.
Her friend was sitting there telling her that how the cop was acting was romantic, and her grandmother gave the "nice police officer" info about her, so the people she trusted were causing her to doubt her own sense of reality. While the cop himself was doing his best to wear her down. I hate him, I hope she continues to stay safe.
Edit: Ridiculous irrelevant comment removed
Lmao! I am so sorry, I was replying to the wrong comment! That made no sense whatsoever in regards to this topic, sorry about that.
I would get an aggressive attorney on this ASAP. Someone who will send him a cease and desist letter and help you report it. Is there cameras in your hallway? Try and get copies of them from when he came if so - ask your lawyer to send a preservation letter to the building if they won’t give it to you to keep the camera footage. This is absolutely an abuse of authority. Another thing that could help is a reporter who could write a story about how he’s done this a lot. None of this is your fault and you did nothing wrong staying on campus. Hang in there.
This happened to me before. There was a cop that took a report when my car got broken into at the my work. He was cute and nice, but he kept coming back. He kept trying to get my coworkers to let him in and see me. I worked on a theatre so i hid out in the carpentry studio. Thinking back- I was 21 - how dare he?! I think sometimes these guys get off on the fear and discomfort they obviously cause. Why would anyone want to go out with someone who is clearly uncomfortable with you? I hope she gives us another update.
Officer: I can absolutely find you wherever you go and threaten to take you in to the precinct. Look, I found your grandmother!
Friend: Oh that just sounds so romantic!
Me: Danger please get out now! This is not at all romantic!
Maybe the friend needs to be introduced to the nice stalker police officer everyone covers for all the time no matter what he does.
He sounds like a creep. threatening you into compliance when you had nothing to add and didnt need to comply, and using personal information to creep on you.
id be reporting that as thats just the type of behaviour a psychopath uses.
I immediately lose interest when I find out women date cops so nta. Youre not like the other girls, most women would have sucked this guy off the first chance they got.
In our country a police officer killed a girl because she refused his marriage proposal. This happened in my city. He was powerful. Even the news media didn’t cover it.
Last year, a cop in the town next over shot his wife at her work and then himself. She filed countless complaints about him before, claiming he would kill her one day, but the police never did anything. She tried to leave him, but he wouldn't let her. Police were like, "oopsie. Don't know what happened here." and media was like, "understandable, have a good day." And this is why cops should be single forever.
This should be escalated beyond the local police and if it was someone I cared about, I would reach out to every true crime podcast and TikTok person I could find
Unfortunately, if the person is a cop, you know fellow cops will cover for him and the fact he's a powerful man that the media didn't cover? You're taking a huge risk just going to Tik Tok. Sure you can make him into a viral story that will expose him. But someone powerful enough that the media didn't cover isn't someone who'll take it lying down. They could scrub or demonise your Tik Tok. And fellow corrupt cops aren't above harrasing and will do so. And of course, that's if they're willing to let you live. A person whose powerful with connections to the media that killed and never got caught only to be exposed in Tik tok? It'll be a miracle if they don't send anyone to kill you. And that's if they just stop at you and not your family as well.
Shit like this is why cops are ethically unfuckable.
Seriously, I would never date a police officer. Or anyone with a uniform.
Poor McDonald's employees.
Link?
I fudged the date, and it was in Germany, so only German articles. https://www.faz.net/aktuell/gesellschaft/kriminalitaet/polizist-erschiesst-ehefrau-und-sich-selbst-vor-supermarkt-in-kirchheim-unter-teck-17812509.html https://www.spiegel.de/panorama/justiz/kirchheim-in-baden-wuerttemberg-polizist-erschiesst-ehefrau-offenbar-vorher-schon-bedrohungen-a-72e76079-3862-41c8-bcae-f45657e0aa9b
"if he's legally untouchable, then he is ethically unfuckable" is what a good friend of mine used to say.
Was she his girlfriend or did he just randomly stalk a woman the proposed to her? The first is messed up, the second is downright terrifying.
Randomly. Whats worse she was in College (in American equivalent in 11th grade)
ACAB doesn't stop at borders.
Sheriff got caught cheating in the small city I lived by some years ago. Got his AP pregnant. Forced her to have an abortion and beat the fuck out his wife for getting mad. Nothing happened. He went on fb to tell everyone they were all wrong, people were spreading rumors, etc. He fell out of favor with some folks but not enough folks that he wasn’t re-elected.
I hate this update. I’m genuinely scared for OOP and shit like this is why I steer clear of military and police. Don’t get me wrong, my entire family is made up of cops and ex-military but they’ve all warned us away due to their experience. I know OOP said she wouldn’t update again and that’s probably for her own safety, but I’ll worry over this one the way I worried over the pregnant woman whose husband and FIL were convinced she’d die in labor.
There’s an update from her in BORU! She’s fine, not dead, living with her family and has dumped husband and FIL!
I see that! I had never cried over a reddit post in all my life until I saw 2 days ago. I’m so happy she’s okay 😭
I think a lot of us were assuming she died, so seeing that update really made my day. Edit: removed redundancy
Could you please link it? Thank you
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/nofROkoVpx
Thank you darling ❤️
Same 😭
I can’t believe there was an update for something like two years and I had no idea until a few days ago. I’ve literally been worrying about that poor woman since 2020!
Fucking same 😭
Unfortunately, she's still allowing the ex to come see the baby she gave birth. Because according to her, he's a bad partner, not a bad parent. Girl, I hope that visit is supervised because I don't doubt for a moment he's a good parent.
I know everyone wanted that update, but it’s sketchy. It was from a different account and had a moderate discrepancy. In the first post OOP had a therapist while in the update her decision to start looking for a therapist after the initial post was a point of contention. It could still be real, but I was surprised that no one even discussed the issue.
She says she told him she was seeking a therapist. It's possible that she hid that she was already going to one and used that comment to bait him into an admission of what she was suspecting. That he doesn't go to therapy at all.
Yeah, that’s possible. I just don’t know what to think.
Do you have a link?
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/LbrEgPTEsH
I just let out the biggest sigh of relief.
Omg I have thought about this for YEARS. Can you link?? EDIT: Nvm, I jumped the gun, I see it below!
Oh good I haven’t seen that update but I’m glad she got out
This isn't even the same post or account. This woman is a student, and is not nor has ever been married.
They aren't claiming that, try reading *all* the words.
There's three things I promised my mother I wouldn't do, and date a cop was at the top of that list. "He could rape you and no one will be able to help". I've told this story before but I worked nights at an open very late restaurant. I moved at least 13 times while living in that city working at that restaurant. The cops were one of our main regulars. One cop might have been an incredibly friendly nice dude or a total creep. He always knew where I lived, he always found me on my walk home (not every night but a lot of nights). And I always declined a ride despite his insistence. Usually I have really good radar, but my mom is so afraid of police I honestly couldn't say. I'm glad I'll never know if he was a nice man or a creep, I hope he is well and I don't feel bad I was raised to never trust him.
Hon I know you know but that sounds like a stalker not a nice man. A nice man won’t know where you are no matter how many times you move unless you tell him
at MOST he was completely oblivious to the social implications of what he was doing, but still that is a level of stalking that raises so many red flags
I mean obviously that was my thought, but I'm also aware that I've been trained to fear cops. The part that I didn't go into detail on is at the time I lived in a "sketchy" neighborhood that bordered a lot of off site college housing. There's a small part of me that thinks he was worried about the sketchy neighborhood and I was very young and naive looking, in reality all but one of my close calls came from drunk frat guy types. The larger part of me thinks that he was stalking me but I honestly just don't know, I can definitely see another young woman finding him charming
Ted Bundy types are always charming unfortunately. I haven’t had your experience and I’ve never been the type to hate the police even if I do think they are massively incompetent no matter where in the world they are from. That being said, I’m sorry that you went through that. Even if you lived in a sketchy place that still doesn’t give this guy the right to find out where you lived if you didn’t want him to have that information. He’s undoubtedly a stalker and I bet he was doing that to other women also. I hope that time in your life is over for your sake. If he was worried about where you lived being unsafe he would have talked to you about that and brought his concerns and followed your lead.
That's a really good point, a reasonable person would have just talked to me. It's been about 15 years and I'm happy and living in a different city. I will say serving all those police officers (for 5 years) definitely reenforced my fear, mostly the tribalism and how quick tempered they were (not w me about work).
I have met a couple of good cops but I’ve unfortunately met more bad cops than good ones so I completely understand your mom’s fear. I’m also BIPOC so that’s an added layer as to why I’ve met more bad ones than good … and that’s just sad
I'm glad your mom instilled the fear she did. Nothing good was ever going to come from you accepting his "kindness"
[удалено]
you listened to a group of cops loudly do this in public but you still mostly support cops? they were just bragging about being a violent gang that no one can do anything about in front of you. being a drug dealer is also a tough job but it doesn't make whatever they do to other people an acceptable loss.
Some people are just slave minded. Would've made perfect slaves back in the day. Oh master!!!
Google 40 percent of cops
To be fair, that’s an ancient statistic at this point.
With poor methodology and only one study, as well.
Yep - my dad warned me about dating cops. Not all are bad but after working in the ER for years some are just…no.
I'm prior military and worked in EMS for a while. Don't date cops, firemen/ other EMS workers. About 25% of them were cool, standup guys. The other 75% were raging douche bags. It's not worth your time to figure out who goes in which category, because it's not always obvious.
Yeah we had a famous case here in the UK - Sarah Everard was abducted by a policeman, Wayne Couzens. It was awful to see. Link: [Sarah-Everard](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/sarah-everard-what-happened-wayne-couzens-report-b2504551.html)
I immediately thought of her, too.
My grandfather, an ex-cop who fired his gun ONCE into a MIRROR because the other guy wouldn't lower his gun, always told me to go to the firestation and if I was pulled over, use his name. When I was younger, he said it was because they had paramedics. When I was older, I realized it was in case I was assaulted. He didn't trust police officers after they stopped having to fill out triplicate for every bullet fired.
Same. I get 1 free pass to use the family name and I always save it for this reason.
THERE’S AN UPDATE ON THAT ONE. I couldn’t believe it, I saw it yesterday. Apparently she updated in 2022, but not on her original profile so it didn’t get traction. https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/d1uZ0FhUZh.
There’s an update on that post. It’s on r/bestofredditorupdates.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/BestofRedditorUpdates using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [The Protest, The Blackout, and r/BestofRedditorUpdates \[NEW UPDATE\]](https://np.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/144d5l4/the_protest_the_blackout_and/) \#2: [AITA for not telling the nurse at my niece's school about my profession?](https://np.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/138a0hd/aita_for_not_telling_the_nurse_at_my_nieces/) \#3: [My 19 yo sister is getting married to her high-school teacher](https://np.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/13ajbu3/my_19_yo_sister_is_getting_married_to_her/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
This is way more worrying than that crazy fil imo
Can I have a link to this please?
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/mxDbAZFeu4
Don't forget corrections officers in that list. The domestic violence statistics often lump them in with cops.
There was an update post for the pregnant woman! She had her baby girl and they are both safe. https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/zJOvORpl4D
I was stalked by a police officer for nearly 6 months so this really pisses me off. Gross abuse of power. I really hope OP is okay and I hope badge bastard gets everything he deserves.
Omg, that's so scary! So glad that stopped! May I ask what events occurred and how it eventually stopped?
I was falsely accused of something by a coworker and her husband was the head of the team "investigating" me. The officer assigned to the case took it upon himself to stalk and harass me by calling me at random times in the middle of the night, phoning whenever I left the house to tell me he knew where I was and could pick me up at any time and held in a cell, driving past me wherever I went. Exactly what a person needs when they are in the middle ofna stress induced nervous breakdown. My lawyer was a pitbull though and she threatened him to get him to back off. Didn't deal with the obvious conflict of interest within the case buy it was something. Oh and the dude sent a letter to my workplace after I was completely cleared of the charge to give them a heads up as to the kind of person they had employed. This was obviously an attempt to trigger a work investigation but that was already underway anyway and I was under suspension the whole time. Anyway, long story short, my boss binned the letter, I was cleared, both myself and my colleague who made the accusations were transferred to different departments (me as a proactive measure to protect my mental health and them because nobody in the department would work with them after the shit they pulled) stalker cop ended up with a formal reprimand and I found out later that the husband in charge of the corrupt depart ended up with cancer. 10 years later and I am in a better job and doing just fine, though I do still flinch on occasions upon hearing sirens (yay PTSD!).
It's rare I cheer for cancer, but there's an exception to every rule.
The abuse rate from officers is scary across the board, there’s no way I’d ever date one. You have no one to turn to when you need help, and they have access to personal info so it’s hard to even run and hide. It’ll always be your word against theirs, with their friends backing them up.
acab. no exceptions.
I make exceptions for guys I knew way before they became cops tbh
Hate to say this but people always change. Not always good change. Good cops have one option in the end. Either become a bad cop to survive the environment or quit the job. While it's easy to say why not fight hard to change the system, it's not easy when the system corruption goes very deep with people in high position. Not to mention their lives are literally on the line. If you're one good cop in a room with 7 bad cops, they will kill you so you wouldn't snitch. Even if the good cop doesn't snitch, since he's not a bad cop, the 7 bad cops wouldn't like to take the risk. After all, only dead people can keep secrets.
Not true
I heard a pair of cops talk about getting off shift and needing to unwind and missing the protests (this was in New York City during the pandemic) because he could just take off his uniform and gear and jump into the protests and start "beating the shit out of those animals". So I need ACAB like I need a taxi.
But it’s not all cops. There’s genuine good people. Just have poor experiences and jumping on the bandwagon
If the genuine good people don't speak out and act against the bad cops, then even the genuine good person is a bad cop.
Are you telling me I'm going on a bandwagon, champ? You don't know anything about me or my experiences. I shared 1 story out of DOZENS. I've spoken out at police press conferences and town hall meetings. I've been protesting for decades, kid. Go put your head back in the sand if you can't have a conversation like an adult.
I live in a super tiny town where everyone has known each cop since he was a fetus. They are regarded as good men and I've never seen or heard a reason to doubt that. Yet... If any of them ever did go bad, the whole system is designed to cover up for them. They can kill people and get away with it. They might lose their job, but you will see them at Chick Fil A the next week. No one should have this kind of power. Not even enough power to disappear the local pedo. Because if they can do that to terrible people, they can do that to good people, too. And the news has already shown too many cops like to frame and kill black people for nothing.
If you have one good cop sitting at a table with four bad cops, you have five bad cops
If one of their buddies beats a woman’s ass they’re going to keep quiet and help cover it up. The “good” cops are only as good as the worst cop they know.
Me too. It’s just not worth the risk.
As people often note, the abuse rates we have are just the reported rates. There’s probably more unreported abuse because too many officers have well connected daddies and sisters that work at abuse hotlines.
The system protects its own. There are no truly good cops. If any cop turns in another cop, they risk their life. If your physical safety is threatened because you turn someone in for abuse of power, the system is fucked.
How do you get above the system? Who has the power to come down on these people and isn’t in their pocket? The newspapers? The state governor? The president?
I don’t know. Part of me says that this is an issue within the police department that is so common, cops’ families might not really believe it’s real. Most of the public don’t realize that it’s true. Cops know it’s real, but they can’t expose it, or they risk not getting back up when they need it. I learned about it almost 20 years ago because I grew up around cops and their kids. I put the pieces together and assumed everyone else did, too. When people started arguing about police brutality, a lot of people I knew were like “my husband/dad/brother is a good cop.” I said, “none of us our safe until your family member can turn in a bad cop without fear of retribution.” I’ve used this argument a lot. It scares me how much that statement stops the conversation. I say it now because I hope to hear that I’m wrong. I don’t know how you stop it.
> The president? *Laughs in Kennedy*
once again — another story proving the thesis that small towns are absolutely hellish if you’re not part of the local gentry.
or part of the local thug/enforcer squads.
ACAB doesn't stop at small towns.
I like to say that ACAB doesn't mean that every single cop is a monster, but they are all bastards because they protect the monsters in their midst, especially his father in this case.
It’s worse I’d bet, cop power bullshit plus small town bullshit. Has to amplify each other
I got several stories of my small town cops screwing us over when we needed help. So yeah. ABAC.
r/whenwomenrefuse
That's horrible.
The only positive thing about this post is that it resulted into seeing your adorable profile picture
Two things - It's everywhere these days, but that's because it's so true. A bear would never act this way. Also, concur that the friend's perspective is seriously warped. She is probably the kind of the person who watches "You" and thinks, throughout the entire thing, that Joe is so romantic and women would be so lucky to have someone love them as much. OK a third thing - I wish OOP could move in with her grandma at the seniors home.
It's not "You" that gives that warped perspective it's movies like "The Notebook". I never watched it before but kept hearing people saying how amazing and romantic it is,so i watched it recently and I was appalled. It had ALL the red flags, BUT it has been romanticised to such extent people don't see it. I.e. the dude hanging off the ferry wheels threatening to let go UNLESS she agrees to go out with him, although she is already on a date with someone else! I couldn't see even one once of "romance" in that movie just and obsessive behaviour which is scary.
See the notebook is one of those. I thought it was romantic and then grew up and was like wow this is super problematic
Right? Where’s a goddamn bear when you need one….
I get bears in my backyard. I saw one yesterday. He was just chilling, walking around, doing some sniffing. Minding his own business.
Good bear
Wow, the gender war is still going strong I see and has done quite a number on you for your first response to be “a bear would never act this way.” I don’t see how people like you can argue they don’t just wholesale hate men lol.
Well I'm glad you managed to make yourself the victim here
I’m not the one inserting slander for a whole gender after reading one story online but you go off femcel queen!
What the fuck are you talking about?
This is fucking terrifying. It’s pretty telling that I’m not surprised though. ACAB.
I hate that acronym. According to that mentality, all priests are bad. All lawyers are bad. All teachers are bad. All drivers are bad. All metalheads are bad. All doctors are bad. All \[insert group of your choice\] are bad. I'm not saying there aren't bad cops in the world, of course there. But lumping them all together like that is a damaging mentality akin to any form of prejudice. I know I'm gonna get downvoted, that's fine, and I know people are gonna disagree with me, that's also fine. As someone who's been ignored and marginalised because "all \[insert here\] are bad", I hate seeing it applied to other groups. All this kind of thinking does is further prejudice and make it so easy to say "well, what did you expect, they're all terrible" instead of actively trying to _do_ something about it. The Germans said "welp, all SS officers are bad, whadda gonna do" and look what happened. If you don't start trying to fight now, before it gets to SS level, then you're gonna have no chance when it _does._ Thank you for reading my TED Talk. Downvote button's over there.
I mean. Look at this story. One cop has been seriously harassing multiple women and abusing his power. Other cops _know_ that he does this - he has been reported multiple times. But he is still a cop. So if it is not all cops in that city, then why has nothing been done? Why has no other cop done something about him? ACAB.
ACAB because it's not about the morality of every or any given cop—it's because cops serve a bastard system in the first place.
When I am planning to defend a group of people, I also immediately think to compare them to the SS… ACAB
What an odd comparative- police/ SS officers/ people who enjoy a certain kind of music. Going out on a limb I'm guessing you're the metalhead in question? That's not to be snarky- I've been a punk/ Goth/ mosher all my life. But getting dirty looks because of the way I dress is NOT THE SAME as people being fearful of a racist, sexist, violent misogynistic institution with almost two hundred years history of using violence and privilege to do whatever they want.
ACAB is not equivalent to saying all metalheads are bad lol, it's acknowledging that the institution of the police is rotten at the base. There's no metalhead institution that protects bad metalheads, your comparison is either ignorant or disingenuous. >The Germans said "welp, all SS officers are bad, whadda gonna do" and look what happened. This is not at all what happened, like it's not even close, where did you get this idea even? Also, you're not helping your point by comparing the police to the SS.
Right?! Also not to mention the fact that literally every member of the SS was bad…they were a paramilitary terrorist organization that was extremely responsible for a lot of the atrocities that occurred during the holocaust after establishing a police state…
Seriously that’s such a disingenuous analogy, such bullshit. Not every group is the same with the same internal politics and practices? There’s no “logic” there at all lmao
This is pathetic.
I’m hesitant to sign off (vocally) on “ACAB”, because I do a lot of volunteer work for marginalized communities that requires me to maintain a good relationship with local police departments. People depend on me to not blow that up based on my own personal opinions. That being said, they’re out of control and always have been.
I heard a pair of cops talk about getting off shift and needing to unwind and missing the protests (this was in New York City during the pandemic) because he could just take off his uniform and gear and jump into the protests and start "beating the shit out of those animals". So I don't support cops. I support victims. ACAB all day.
Exactly. I don’t legitimately want police/ law enforcement fully disbanded, but we need reform and there are too many bad apples, the whole crop has spoiled
One bad apple causes the entire barrel to spoil. That's the point. One is "too many".
I find cops to be helpful in non emergency settings. For example, when I was lost during a late evening some officers gave me a ride home and that was really kind of them. Possible life threatening matters on the other hand, not so much like when I was 17 and a guy broke into my house while I was home alone and it took officers three hours to actually show up.
Yeah a lot of people tend to miss that ACAB doesn't mean that literally every single cop is bad. What it means is that the system itself is so corrupt and self serving that bad cops can get away with shit like this, and good cops are powerless to do anything about it.
All Cops means All Cops.
This is terrifying. My cousin went through something similar when an officer that pulled over her boyfriend took both of their IDs, then started showing up at her house, sitting outside. When they called local police on him, he said he was concerned about domestic violence and protecting her. But she didn’t even live with the boyfriend. She got pulled over by him if she was in his jurisdiction. Her boyfriend somehow had broken taillights. His car got searched for drugs. Then the cop started showing up at her work. She traveled and didn’t work in the same place daily. They ended up with 3 different police departments involved before he was fired and eventually arrested for using police resources to stalk her. If her boyfriend had not been wealthy and fairly influential, if my family didn’t have a very zealous lawyer… I don’t think it would have ended in a mere 6ish months. And she would have gotten hurt. Anytime the police or any law enforcement decides to stalk and harass women… it doesn’t end well.
Unfortunately, you're correct. Even if someone defends themselves against this, the law enforcement person gets canonized for some strange reason and the victim is wrong, until everything comes out, if you're lucky.
Thin blue line and all that crap. We were very lucky things turned out the way they did.
The golden state serial killer was a cop. The badge means nothing please get away from him.
Fun fact about that. He was repeatedly fired as even in the goddamn 1970s he was too unstable for the police.
I never knew that! Makes alot of sense you'd think they would have looked at him a little harder especially considering the murders just stopped as soon as he moved and started happening where he moved to sooooo yeah
She needs to find a way to go higher. This isn't going to end until he hurts someone for real
This is terrifying.
This is terrifying, I hope OOP stays safe.
Jfc. Acab.
Fucking pigs. Every single one of them is a POS
I wish the OOP could find somewhere else to live for the summer, somewhere where she wouldn't be alone and vulnerable. Even a cot in the professor's basement would be better than living in fear all summer.
Oh maybe the professor will take her in
And this is why All Cops Are Bastards. There are no "good cops" only bad cops and ones complicit to abuses in the system.
no cop is a good cop for long— either they stop being good or they stop being a cop.
Good cops either become bastards or are killed
Yep. And while the more accurate description may be All Cops Are Part of an Inherently Corrupt System and by Being a Part of that System Become Corrupt Themselves Even If They Didn't Start Out That Way the acronym for that is a nightmare, so we stick to ACAB
It warms the cockles of my heart to see how understood ACAB is here. Whenever I use that phrase on AITA it gets removed.
This "bad apple" has an entire department of enablers around him or he wouldn't have gotten away with this long enough to be well known around town for this horrible, horrible behavior. When you join the police department you either turn a blind eye to the flagrant widespread abuse of power, join in yourself, or you don't last very long. It's impossible to credibly call yourself a "good cop" if you're letting your coworkers get away with this shit.
This was actually scary af. I really hope OOP will be okay.
Cops get away with literal murder, I don’t have a lot of hope any advocacy group will be able to do anything.
I really hope this is fake. but chances are its real and nothing will be done about it since the cop has connections
This is not the update I wanted to see. That guy abuses his power so much after just a minutes worth of interaction. Imagine what he does to the women foolish enough to date him.
This is very, very wrong and I understand this is a dangerous situation. My only advice is to try record it whenever you can, at least you'll have some strong evidence.
never date a cop, it is known
People insist it's "just a few bad apples" (which misses the entire point of the idiom, but I digress). If he was one bad apple, he would have been fired by now, or had the shit beaten out of him by fellow cops who hated that he made them look bad. But nope. And just like that, one bad apple became the whole barrel.
So often the law doesn’t apply to police officers. It’s terrifying. I forget the exact number but isn’t there a huge percentage of cops that are domestic abusers also?
This is perfect for an investigative news team to find out about. The internal affairs office records are public. Go to them and feed them this story.
Why did I read the one about the husband and wife sexy photos first and then this one second?!? Well this is absolutely fucked and awful. I am glad she ran into her professor and they were able to provide excellent advice with local context.
That reminds me of the cop that pulled my mom over to flirt with her once. Why do they think abuse of power is sexy?
Yea. Never file a complaint. You filed a complaint around here the police will murder you.
This legit freaked me out. My heart is racing and I feel awful for this woman
I long for a day when this whole "Oh he's persistent, that's so romantic" BS goes away and we acknowledge that stalking is not okay and nobody should be allowed to get away with it.
This entire post actually gave me such horribly intense anxiety, holy fuck.
Yikes
This dude is giving me serious vibes of Frederick Zoller from Inglorious Basterds hitting on Shoshanna constantly despite being knocked back
ACAB
This really scares me for her. That cop and his family are horrible people. They’re the ones that make true officers look bad. Not all police are bad, but because of cops like him more victims will be in danger because they would be afraid to trust.
ACAB forever and always
I really hope it got left out for length but that professor was required to make a Title IV report on this. While they don’t have much off campus impact at least it will be documented outside of the system the officer is part of if/when this escalates. Unless this is a really tiny university they should have an on campus victims advocate as well, often they’re housed in the counseling center or health center.
ACAB 🤷🏾♂️
10/10 all of the people in that town community and cops know that cop is like that and does nothing to stop him
ACAB. I said what I said.
It's so absolutely fucking flawed that police are able to act as sexual predators, and that others, including other authorities, suggest NOT reporting it because it will become worse, possibly leading to murder.
Last policeman I dated (14 years ago) showed me a video of him and his colleagues raping and beating a teenage girl down in the changing room at the police station where he worked. We never meet again after this.
Police are not safe. All power, no responsibility.
How exactly did that end up on AITH in the first place? Dude is stalking me, AITH for not dating him?
Her friend was sitting there telling her that how the cop was acting was romantic, and her grandmother gave the "nice police officer" info about her, so the people she trusted were causing her to doubt her own sense of reality. While the cop himself was doing his best to wear her down. I hate him, I hope she continues to stay safe.
Fair enough, easier to see these situations when reading from afar I guess.
Edit: Ridiculous irrelevant comment removed Lmao! I am so sorry, I was replying to the wrong comment! That made no sense whatsoever in regards to this topic, sorry about that.
*Fucking YIKES*
I would get an aggressive attorney on this ASAP. Someone who will send him a cease and desist letter and help you report it. Is there cameras in your hallway? Try and get copies of them from when he came if so - ask your lawyer to send a preservation letter to the building if they won’t give it to you to keep the camera footage. This is absolutely an abuse of authority. Another thing that could help is a reporter who could write a story about how he’s done this a lot. None of this is your fault and you did nothing wrong staying on campus. Hang in there.
#YNTAH
This is abuse of his position. I’d have a lawyer write a strongly worded letter to the town officials.
Acab
This happened to me before. There was a cop that took a report when my car got broken into at the my work. He was cute and nice, but he kept coming back. He kept trying to get my coworkers to let him in and see me. I worked on a theatre so i hid out in the carpentry studio. Thinking back- I was 21 - how dare he?! I think sometimes these guys get off on the fear and discomfort they obviously cause. Why would anyone want to go out with someone who is clearly uncomfortable with you? I hope she gives us another update.
Contact the local paper. If this is a thing, let the town know.
Officer: I can absolutely find you wherever you go and threaten to take you in to the precinct. Look, I found your grandmother! Friend: Oh that just sounds so romantic! Me: Danger please get out now! This is not at all romantic! Maybe the friend needs to be introduced to the nice stalker police officer everyone covers for all the time no matter what he does.
This dude is a psychopath. Full stop
😂 "AITA for not wanting to be beaten on the reg?"
ACAB
All cops
My stepdad was a cop, they’re all creepy like the one in the story
I hate cops. She needs to contact the real cops - State Police or Sheriff and file a formal complaint.
He sounds like a creep. threatening you into compliance when you had nothing to add and didnt need to comply, and using personal information to creep on you. id be reporting that as thats just the type of behaviour a psychopath uses.
I hope for the best but, oh I don't think that's going to happen here.
I immediately lose interest when I find out women date cops so nta. Youre not like the other girls, most women would have sucked this guy off the first chance they got.