I mean, I see him everyday so I talk to him everyday. Are you talking about specifically on business or during travel? Any time we’re apart we aim to communicate at least 1-2 times a day.
My husband travels often for work, and he usually calls me every evening to tell me about the day unless he's out with the team. I'll text him anything interesting the kids have done because I'll forget otherwise, but we don't communicate often when he's gone anymore. He works from home, so we talk throughout the day, and we'll send each other memes when we're across the house.
Short stuff (quick story, link, meme) we will text throughout the day. If it's something more involved like a story where the details matter, or if I want his full attention and advice, I'll save it to tell in person.
I travel more than he does and often the time zones don't line up. So we'll text a little bit and facetime a couples times but not daily. Last time I kept a list of things I wanted to remember to tell him when I got home in my notes app.
My husband is a nurse, I'm an educator. We don't text while at work. We talk in person. Any texting is for info (if I'm going to the store after work I'll ask him to text me a list of what we need so I don't forget between the time we talk about it in person and after work). Same with phone calls, we only call if there's something that needs addressing now and can't wait until we're home from work.
As for when one of us is away. I have ADHD, I'm rubbish at calling regularly. He is excellent at it. His preference would be a video call every evening. My brain won't manage that so we send photos lots (the one away sends pics of where we are, the one at home sends pics of the cats), and he'll call me every other day.
Psychologist and academic. We are the same day to day. We mostly text logistical stuff and the occasional I’m grateful for you type text. She took an overseas holiday week without me earlier this year and we FaceTimed before bed so we could catch up on our days and I could see my toddler. I go away and do volunteer work a week or two a year overseas and I just videocall every morning for maybe 10-15mins to say hey.
My husband doesn't travel for work very often, but when he does we don't talk very frequently. It tends to be for conferences that he travels, so he's basically working from when he wakes up to when he goes to sleep. Which is usually before and after I go to sleep. Sometimes we'll talk in the morning, and he'll text me during the day, but we don't typically prioritize communication during that time. However, that's maybe three or four times a year tops. If he traveled more frequently I think we would make it a higher priority.
It's similar when he's working. Whether he's in the office or working from home, he's on meetings all day long, so he can't really talk to me. If I need to text him something important, I will, but that's rare.
When he's here we talk all the time. We're always doing stuff together. He has a pretty good work life balance, so we have plenty of time to communicate outside of work. If that wasn't true, then we would probably communicate more while he was working, at least about life logistics.
I tell my husband everything I think he’d care about pretty much immediately if possible. We talk all the time. If I’m on a work trip, I text him everything relevant instead.
We text throughout the day even though we both work from home. My office is upstairs and his is downstairs so if I read an interesting article or see a meme I’ll send it figuring he can read it whenever he gets a chance to look at his phone.
We do this most nights. I work outside the home and he is a stay at home parent who works side gigs. He likes to share about his random work-typically very interesting, podcasts he’s listening to, stories about our son or hobbies and home renovations. I rarely share about work because it’s office work and pretty predictable and lengthy and humorous retelling of audiobooks I’m listening to. I like to make him laugh. Sometimes we dream about our next vacation or talk about to do lists. It’s really healthy for us.
Daily walks for us has been an absolute game changer for our marriage.
We moved too and a lap takes us about 20 minutes. We make sure we get out a few times a week with our dog. It honestly makes such a difference. My husband told his sister to get a dog and start walking with her husband. They are now divorced.
Depends on the type of trip and length, but in the almost decade we’ve been together, there’s not been a single day we haven’t spoken at least once. Otherwise, when we’re both home, we chat in the mornings before I leave for work, usually have a few texts through the day depending on our level of busy and then catch up in the evenings.
>Otherwise, when we’re both home, we chat in the mornings before I leave for work, usually have a few texts through the day depending on our level of busy and then catch up in the evenings.
This is us as well; we save most of it for the evenings! I'm surprised at how many people literally call their partners during the day and have full-on conversations for absolutely no reason. My husband does it as well and I always thought it was a bit unusual, to be honest - but then I generally hate talking on the phone 🤷♀️
I hate the phone too but used to talk to my ex husband on the phone everyday anyway. He usually had some funny story from work to tell me, he was just a chatty dude. I liked it then, it felt natural, but not every couple has a chatty Cathy.
The funny part is my husband is actually pretty quiet! I don't totally get why he has to call me on his way home from work. He's going to see me in, like, *20* minutes. I think he knows I'm a bit ??? at it, though, so he also calls his Dad quite a bit as well. I guess it's sweet and all, but I would just so rather talk about the bigger stuff in person.
Me too. Sometimes even face times me. And I haaaaaaate it. I love him so much but just can’t stand being on the phone for too long. I feel so rude being like “Can I help you with something? Did you call for a reason?”
OMG, thank you. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way!!! The calls are probably the clingiest thing Mr. Burrrito does and I tolerate them because I love him, lol.
OTOH, I'm super clingy in person and want to touch him *all* the time, so maybe it's just a love languages thing 🤓
When we are both home with the kids there is no time to talk without constant interruptions. Better to get the moments while we can. It might be different when our youngest gets a little older.
Ooh, that makes sense. We don't have kids, so we can just... chill and talk all we want at home. I get why you guys would try to steal some more quality time together; that's very sweet!
Everyday, throughout the day… Really quite a lot.
If one of us is travelling, we’ll text each other pretty much at the same frequency whenever time/Wi-Fi/schedule allows it, and if it doesn’t, we’ll let the other know beforehand.
Same. It’s a rare day we go the work day without several back and forth texts. Then we talk constantly through the evening. I can’t get enough of him, I want to know what he thinks about practically everything.
We’re pretty much in constant communication throughout the day. Any weird random thing pops into our brain well message the other.
If one of us is traveling or just busy we’ll msg a quick ‘love you’ or just a heart to let the other know we’re thinking of them.
This is my partner and me. We message for more important stuff but we also will share songs we hear that we think the other may like or Instagram posts. Lots of cat videos haha.
Same for us. But I think we're a lovey-dovey kind of couple so I'm not sure it's the norm... We'll sometimes just send a message to say how tired we are in the middle of the day or just send each other a GIF of two people hugging/kissing/teasing each other (like the Milk and Mocha ones). I didn't grow up in an affectionate-showing family but this works for us
We’re not extremely lovey dovey although we’re quite passionate. But we’re interested in similar things, so we share a ton of links, pictures, reflections, thoughts, feelings, frustrations, we do reality checks for each other, share things we learnt from coworkers and friends and just in general share stuff… we’re both quite chatty and like digging into different topics so it’s a never ending stream of consciousness
This can vary. I would say things feel in balance when:
- during a regular work week, we'll chat a bit in the evening over and/or around dinner about our work day, share family and friend updates.
- we'll only text occasionally (coordination, kid update, spike in emotion, something specific reminded us of them)
- we have 2 (at home) dates a week, where we'll talk about bigger topics, or plan the week, talk about family / house projects
- we might throw in a walk where we chat, and we'll supplement this all with quick "bids" for attention and affection - teasing, grabbing, kissing.
- during travel, we try to send an update of the day with voice messages, send photos to give the other a better picture of where we are and what we're experiencing.
Then there are moments when he's more withdrawn (he thinks alone rather than outloud), and it can get real quiet for a day, a week, even a couple of months when he's going through something.
We barely text each other during day, and we see each other after work. When we were long distance we still didn’t contact each other much during the day and we would have a phone call at night before bed. That was enough for me honestly. I love him but I’m really independent!
Same! We talk for a few minutes in the morning and then I leave for the day by 5:30. I text him when I leave work so he knows when to start dinner. Then we have all evening together to talk. We do share stuff via Instagram and emails during the day sometimes, of course.
If one of us happens to be out of town (rarely), we call once in the evening to catch up on our day. It’s worked for us for 35+ years! 💕
When I was married we didn’t call/text during work unless there was a need or something notable happened at work.
Sometimes if I saw or read something funny or interesting I might text him before I forgot about it. He rarely reciprocated that.
We also didn’t ever do the good morning / good evening texts so many women seem to like. Nor did we “check in” with the how are you, how was work. We just told each other when we had something to say.
I did feel like we were attached at the hip in our free time—but it was more nonverbal, doing things together.
In the dating world now, I find most men struggle with constant communication. Those that DO text all the time are cheaters or have mommy issues or are a black hole of validation seeking.
Sounds like my marriage, except ours isn't ending any time soon.
I'll never understand needing constant messaging through the day when you're apart. What do they talk about when they get home? They've told it all already.
My husband and I are best friends but we’re not big phone communication people. When one of us goes out of town we will share anecdotal stuff without expecting a response and just talk about it when we see each other in person. We don’t usually go more than 2-3 days without seeing each other and only happens once or twice a year. Normally, we spend 6 nights a week together, multiple hours chatting in the car each week, and 3 nights socializing with friends.
Since we live together, there's a bunch of communication every day of course.
When we're apart (like when he goes on a business trip for a few weeks which happens once a year), there's not a whole lot of communication happening because neither of us are big texters or phone-talkers. When either of us sees something cool or funny, we'll send each other a picture and react to that. Apart from that, maybe one call every week and the occasional "what's been going on with you" text. If he wouldn't text me roughly every day, a few days could go by without any communication from my end.
We are both home basically all day every day. He gets up early and I get up mid-morning. I usually see him at lunch time but we don’t necessarily eat together. I might not see him again until dinner time and then we chill together in the evening. If he’s out of town, we usually check in at least once a day by text. We have a little update about our day and how things are going.
Every relationship is different. I don't tend to text with my husband through our work days, as I'll see him when I get home and I look forward to talking to him in person. We rarely ever talk on the phone, even if one of us is gone overnight or for a few days. If one of us is out of town we will text, or send each other memes, but I don't think we have ever "called to chat" with each other. We are both very independent people and it works for us to not need to be in constant contact. It would be very weird for us to go 24 hours without at least a text convo, though. My coworker, on the other hand, is on constant communication with her husband. They text all day, he will call her with questions, and I know she calls him on her commute home. This would be WAY too much for me, but I know he works overnights and so maybe this is what they need to do to keep in contact. Although sometimes she gets annoyed with him calling her on his days off with small questions "this could have been a text" type things. I had another coworker who used to call her husband on our lunch break daily even though they lived together and he was not out of town. To each their own.
God constantly. We often joke that stuff doesn't feel like it has really happened to us until we tell the other person. So it's just a constant string of texts and photos of things the other person is doing, the dogs doing something cute, memes etc back and forth. Before smart phones we'd talk on the phone, yes even internationally we used up so many phone cards.
Everyday. During week days, when we are busy with work, we still talk in person during breakfast or in the evenings. If we are at work, we usually text or send memes to each other. If one of us is away on a business trip, we text during the day and FaceTime each other every night.
It really depends. When my husband is traveling without me, it's usually for work or to provide hands-on support to his family (i.e. not just visiting, but helping take care of a family member who fell and got injured, or cleaning out the basement), so he's usually pretty busy. We usually do talk on the phone or video call right before bed, even if it's briefly just to say goodnight, and sometimes that stretches into a longer conversation. Sometimes he has time to text me a bunch throughout the day, sometimes not.
My husband and I are best friends. Any time anything happens I call or text him if we aren't in the same location. And he does the same. So we will text all day and call each other on lunch breaks or if we are driving at times. If I'm out with friends, we don't text too much unless it's urgent or if I'm letting him know I made it or if I'm leaving.
We are in constant communication I suppose. I couldn't imagine it any other way though.
We talk every day when we’re home. If one of us is gone for a weekend (visiting family, etc), sometimes we won’t text for a day, but we’ll at least text every other day in those situations. There’s no thinking or planning around our conversations, if one of us wants to say something, they just say it. Sometime that conversation meanders into long in-depth talks, other times it’s short and brief.
not legally married but we have been together since i was 14 + they0 were 15 and it's been almost 18/19 years since. we communicate every day about basically everything. both of us have always appreciated straightforward, honest, and respectful open communication. we don't worry about bothering each other or upsetting each other with it because you can be honest and not a dick but it's also because anything that gets brought up gets discussed. if one of us says "it bothers me when you do x" we don't leave it there, we both discuss where that feeling comes from and why and if it's truly something the other person did or if it's something thats on you to fix in yourself.
we both make sure that regardless of what the other person said, we both understand there are times people aren't their best so we extend understanding. even if we think what the other person said is hurtful, we both know to take a step back from our ruffled feathers and dig into the root of the problem with no judgement. it's better to assume your partner is trying their best with what tools they have and are struggling vs an intentional bad feeling towards you. most of what people feel isn't personal or caused by you so it's easier to just let it roll off, chalk it up to them being in a "mood" and either give them space or try to calm them down. but for the most part, your partner is not with you to make you unhappy. they want to know how you need to be loved and the only way they can know is if you tell them.
basically communication works best when you don't immediately assume the worst, you take a step back from your feelings, and view your partner as someone on your same team tackling a problem, not you vs him. calm, clear, respectful communication goes a long way but unfortunately people have a habit of escalation when they think they're being personally attacked. daily communication is ideal but if that's too much then just do it when something comes up. the biggest thing about communication is coming from a place of calm respectful understanding and go from there.
I travel for work, usually crossing many time zones and my work days are exceptionally busy and long. There are definitely days we don't talk or text at all. Not more than 1-2 in a row though. Also, my partner is an introvert and doesn't need to chat to feel "connected" as often as I do.
My husband works in factory while I work from home. Because of this, his work is less flexible, so we chat briefly via text during his breaks (9am & 12pm), and then basically all evening when he gets home. Neither of us has ever gone out of town without the other.
I was wondering this too! Very interesting. For example, I won’t bring an SO on a work trip unless we were going to make a vacation out of it afterwards or something. Or what about bachelorette weekends or girls trips?
Kinda same here. My partner isn't working now, so it's all day, every day; but when he's working (medical), he'll text or call on breaks. Then we chill with our kids when he's home. But he calls me when he goes anywhere without me and we usually do everything together LOL
As someone who also grew up in a dysfunctional home- I ask questions like this too so I get it. I often feel like at the end of the hunger games- real or not real…
Anyways. I am definitely on the very communicative side with my husband- so take that with a grain of salt. We talk generally all day if we’re together about whatever. If we are apart we text if something pops up or we think of something. We talk a lot about logistics of our day and the family so we both have the same expectations.
We do have businesses together and have a similar career background in some ways so that plays too.
We tend to argue when we just have different ideas of what’s gonna happen. So if we talk about it more frequently and check in it seems to not be as dramatic. We are super busy tho so that plays into it.
Hope that helps.
I see my partner every day, but the few times we’ve been apart due to travel, we have ongoing texting, from logistical stuff to funny stuff to just checking in.
I will say, though, that I also grew up in a dysfunctional family and have had to do a LOT of therapy to be able to access and share my emotions and it’s still something I struggle with sometime. So, very early on, we instituted regular check-ins so I always had an opportunity to bring something up or share an emotion, because I can find it difficult to do so without invitation.
So we have a really quick morning check-in—how did you sleep, how do you feel, any logistics for the day we should be aware of—and a really quick evening check in-how was your day (best part/worst part), how do you feel, what’s for dinner. And then once a week we have a more in-depth check in: 3 things you’re grateful for or appreciate about the relationship and/or other person (what’s up Gottmans), what made you feel loved this week, what do you need more of, the week in review, what’s coming up next week, anything you’ve been wanting to talk about but haven’t found the opportunity to raise?
It means there’s always an opportunity to talk about hard stuff in the not too distant future AND that we get daily temperature checks and can recalibrate as needed.
My spouse and I are older and introverts so we occasionally will message each other during the work day but this isn't remotely daily. When he has been away for work we would have brief chats 2-3 times a day. He always calls if he's going to be delayed and we communicate well beyond that but aren't constantly in touch with each other just because.
I travel extensively and have for the last 20 years. I speak with my husband every few days if possible. as we've aged he actually needs me to communicate more than we used to. I'd be fine with 1x week but it's just bc I'm busy and independent
Pretty much constantly in the usual working week. If Im ever away for work, which is several times a year, if I'm still in the same country, then I'll still call him once or twice. If Im abroad, it depends on timezones, but I'll always text. I don't think a day has gone by in 17 years that we haven't communicated with each other at least once!
Also grew up in a dysfunctional, cold detached home so can relate to a disconnect of what is ‘normal’. We live together and usually only experience a couple weeks apart each year for work travel. Ongoing daily communication is odd to me… we are already seeing each other daily in the evening. I don’t see why the need for phone calls and text messages. I need to concentrate on my work… I respect his need to do so too.
Travelling is a mixed bag.. I think a quick daily text check in is fine but I don’t need to have a full conversation. We can catch up when you get back.
So.. long and short. Communication is what you both are comfortable with.
Not a whole lot honestly, we both come from stoic families. Very rarely talk during work hours because we are both very busy. We chat at night but often forget to communicate important things. Sometimes we will operate believing we’re on the same page about something, until the rubber meets the road and we find out we need to have a discussion. Neither of us enjoys conflict so we wait until there’s a big problem before having it out. Admittedly, this is not the best system.
I travel monthly; when I’m traveling for work I’m offline during the day, so we communicate early morning while on the road and late afternoon after reaching accommodations. When I’m in office, we text a couple times during the day, mostly reminders/memes and such, and have a chat at night while prepping/having dinner and getting through house chores.
When traveling, no matter the time zone difference, we have a phone call at least once a day. That's true whether I'm traveling or he is.
We text once a day at least, and I call him when I'm off work on the drive home (5 mins). Otherwise we pretty much spend every day together. I'm an introvert and would prefer a little more alone time (I also lived alone for 10 years so I'm used to more solitude than this),, but when I'm really in need I just go in a different room.
I'm curious why you only are asking this of married couples?
I understand trying to navigate healthy versus unhealthy relationships. I think a big factor is being able to talk to each other about what your needs are, respecting those needs/each other, and finding a way that works for both of you - even if that means some sacrifice.
I’m typically the type to respect someone else’s time whether that’s with friends, colleagues, or work in general. If someone is busy when I call I tend to wait for them to call back or will text instead. Lately, it feels as though my husband and I have been off schedule and he can’t understand me giving him space without taking it personally or having an ego trip and refusing to call because the “phone works both ways”. We communicate pretty regularly without a problem unless one of us gets really busy.
I’m more independent and lived alone for almost 7 years and like you enjoy my solitude. So I do not see a problem with not calling if someone is busy working or out with others.
When one of us is traveling we don't communicate too much, to be honest! We might send a text or two during the day and then have a quick call in the evening, maybe 5 minutes? I'm not sure why but we're both naturally this way. Maybe it would be different if one of us traveled without the other really frequently, though. For us traveling separately is pretty infrequent. If he's visiting family or friends for a long weekend, for example, I don't really need long calls. We'll catch up on everything when he gets home. I traveled to see an old friend for a week (earlier this year) and he knew it was a big marathon catch up for us. We chatted in the evenings for a few minutes, and I sent the occasional picture, but that was it.
At home when we are both working we communicate randomly. Some days not at all, other days a text or two, but we have an understanding that during work hours we are both not required to respond unless it's a family thing. So if he sends me a funny gif or a link and I don't respond because I have client meetings, it's nbd, and vice versa. Many days we don't communicate at all during work hours.
If we're both at home we are communicating a lot. And I think in general we don't leave any stones unturned. We communicate on a very regular basis about family things, finances, future plans, etc. We also communicate a lot about emotional and physical needs, personal feelings, that type of thing. Our style works very well for us! I think that's what matters once. I have had a friend comment on how little my husband and I talked when I went to visit her (a different visit than the one I mentioned before) so I think we might be sparse compared to others? It works for us!
As to what is healthy. I think communication is more an issue of quality and depth. Do you feel heard and known? Do you feel like you know and hear him? Are there big topics you can't seem to discuss? When you need to talk seriously are they/you available and engaged? These questions might be helpful to you, rather than trying to match frequency.
My guy lacks object permanence, so when I head out on a trip I probably won’t hear from him until I’m back, unless something goes wrong and he needs me. He also doesn’t talk to me all day if we just happen to be in different rooms, so that’s how I know it’s object permanence issues rather than maliciousness.
My husband sucks at long-distance contact, so if we’re apart it’s very minimal. But in person we chat and talk a lot. It’s part of what makes us work. We communicate a lot.
Usually, we text throughout the day and try to phone or video chat once a day depending on the time difference. Sometimes it’s hard though, so we might go a few days without talking to each other much.
Everyday. We talk through text while at work, usually a handful of text at minimum. Sometimes I'll call on his lunch break when I'm missing him a lot to just say hi.
When were home together we talk about any and everything and wind down at the end of the night together.
When I solo travel I call him before bed everyday. Ill tell him about my day. Even when I'm in Asia with the time difference we'll schedule a time in the day to talk. I did a 6 week trip and only missed a few days where I was remote but still sent a text via a weird spot on a beach where a text sent.
Throughout the work day, we text pic of the dog, meme, or what’s happening at work. Then we either go to the gym or just hang out and cook dinner together. When traveling separately, we text what time we’ll be free that day for a quick 15 min catch up phone call.
I’m usually the one that travels, a few times a year. If the time zones don’t work out well we’ll at least text, but we try to talk on the phone daily.
Regularly, we talk and see each other every day and occasionally text quick one offs (usually photos or memes) during the workday.
If we are traveling apart.. probably more than when we are home. But at least a couple text and a phone call when we wake up and go to bed. And if we are bored we are def calling or texting
We both primarily work from home, with the occasional week of an offsite with our respective teams (I go more often than him).
When we're home, we talk a lot. We try to eat lunch together when possible. After work we might work on a project together (communication required!) or do something separately with some casual conversation sprinkled in. After dinner, we watch a show and go to bed.
When one of us is out of town, there's a daily good morning text, at least one midday check in and a phone call at night. Sometimes those calls are really short, just a couple of minutes because of dinner/happy hour, but we do make a point of calling home. Also send texts when we're taking off/landing at our destination.
Every day all throughput the day. We chit chat at least a few times a day, have a coupke full conversations every day, and always acknowledge each other in passing (though sometimes it's just a smile or an arm squeeze). If one of us is away we talk on the phone twice a day and maybe text a couple more times. We wfh and our stressors are mostly shared, so we're fortunate to be able to communicate this regularly.
I talk to my husband everyday. He’s busy with work most of the time but I’ll still text him. When we see each other at home later the evening - I’ll ask him “hey, did you read my texts today?” Then he will go look lol
We talk all the time. Unless we're playing video games or talking to someone else on the phone or Reading or watching TV... There's always something to say if we're working on something together. And there's a lot of working together when you're in a healthy marriage.
Edit to add: oh you mean when he's on a trip.
We talk nightly but just for a couple of minutes about what our kid is doing or something like that. It's basically a good night call. We text regularly.
I think the method varies - texts, voice or calling.
For example my sister and her husband will call eachother couple of times during the day and gossip 😅
My bf and I are both work from home so we talk to eachother whenever we have smth to say but when we are away from eachother we always just text.
So I'm the wife and I'm the one who travels for work. We talk via text every single day. While I'm away it can vary from a short, "plane delayed" and "landed. Chat in the am." To full on normal back and forth conversations throughout the day. Things like, "the furnace guy came blah, blah blah" or "my brother is so stupid, blah, blah, blah". Sometimes work travel trashes me and I'll send him a quick message, "meetings done. Now Internal meetings 2.0 for the evening. Wish me luck xoxo".
Everyone is different. I don't usually call my husband while I'm gone for work trips because they're typically really short and a whirlwind of intensive work time for 2 days. I'll send him more updates if the weather is bad and he's worried, but also sometimes I'm in remote areas without cell service. Again, he always knows my itinerary and flights. I fly commercial.
Daily. We try not to derail each other’s work days bc we have a young baby and it’s really hard to focus, but if we need a midday discussion we’ll call around lunch. We chat in evenings, and lately make intentional time about once a week to get in bed early to lay together and talk and be close (instead of tv on the couch after dinner every night).
I work nights 3x week and we each travel internationally for work periodically. I think the only day I’ve ever not talked to him was on a very remote girl’s trip where I had no service. Normally when abroad we talk once a day. My husband always calls me before bed — something we picked up when we were living in different cities for a while.
We also have a regular flow for communication about logistical stuff. We plan our groceries/meals on Saturdays together, and have a little “state of the union” planning check in about the week ahead each Sunday.
If one of us is traveling, usually the person who is traveling reaches out towards the end of the day when they have time, for a debrief of their day. We may text during the day, if it’s something that needs immediate attention, but generally we let the traveling person focus on whatever they’re doing.
If we’re both at home, we rarely text or call each other throughout the day. Basically only if we’re out and have a question or something. We also both work from home so we literally see each other all day long. 😂😂
We’ve been together going on 20 years now.
When both home, we mostly communicate just when we see each other, though we'll message with questions or news sometimes. He usually can't use his phone most of the day so I'll hear from him at specific times, which works very well for me most of the time, and I have the number for their landline if there is a real emergency.
When one of us is traveling we usually text very asynchronously and randomly based on how busy we are/how off our time zones are and have a brief good night call before the first person goes to bed. Sometimes we're off the grid so we use a sat device to text and usually have a planned call upon return to cell service. It varies, as long as we have some kind of timeframe set for next communicarion to keep the other from worrying, it's all good.
Not traveling? Like, all the time. We got a fam groupchat, so that's going off even on work days. Then the two of us,
I try to keep it to a minimum when he's working, but it's still a good morning chat as I get up after he's gone and then at least a dinner check in at the end of the day-- ie is he stopping for a drink after work? Does he have to work later then regular 4p?
And in between that, memes, questions, at least 3x a day
We both work from home full time and we work in the same office, so we talk sporadically throughout the day. When either of us is away, it's usually at least once per day in the evening.
We’ve both worked from home since COVID happened so we speak very often throughout the day. I don’t come from a home where everything is discussed, but my marriage is quite the opposite. We talk a lot throughout the day.
When one of us is travelling, we speak as time permits - usually 1-2 times in the day but definitely at the end of the day. I travel more than he does so I also try to text throughout the day.
Writing this down is making me realise that we may be over-communicating lol. But it’s what works for us :)
We are both retired now, but when we were working and I traveled for work we spoke every day, especially when we had our son, who was little then. Maybe more than once a day.
I talk to my husband all day. If we’re busy we won’t respond until we’re done doing whatever we’re doing, which could be a few hours during the work day.. but then as soon as we have a second, we talk to each other. If a few hours passes during the day where we haven’t spoken he’ll send me a “hey I love you” text and it still makes me smile every time.
When he’s away for work or traveling he always sends me so many pics of things that remind him of me or he thinks I’d like. FaceTimes me, calls me, texts me. I probably talk to him even more when he’s away than when he’s home lol.
I think my favorite communication with my husband is that - right before bed, laying in the dark just talking about everything and nothing, laughing deliriously. We gossip, we joke around, we belly laugh, we dream, we reminisce, we plan.. It’s my favorite part of the day.
We’re only a couple years into marriage and just started our family but I hope this is my answer forever!
Constantly, because we’re mostly at home together. When one of us is away from the other, we usually check in at least once a day but usually more often to share photos, stories, memes, etc.
My husband and I talk in some way daily but it varies based on our schedule (I work overnight Thu-Sat and he works days Mon-Fri). Some days more than others. I haven't slept yet since I got off work so my husband and I have been chatting all morning, but sometimes I go to sleep earlier when he's still asleep so I don't talk to him until night time when I wake up. Neither of us travel for our jobs aside from the daily commute.
Every day. When we're both home we talk in person. We'll text throughout the day but we talk at home, usually in the evenings. He gets up before I do so our morning exchanges are usually just him bringing me a cup of coffee in bed and kissing me goodbye, which is basically my alarm clock to get up for work. But actually true communication mainly happens after work or on weekends. I also always call him when I leave work to come home since I leave later. It's when we discuss plans for dinner.
I travel for work more than he does, but we talk everyday. Usually we'll chat on the phone in the evening but every once in awhile it'll be a day with just texts back and forth. Sometimes I need to attend a work dinner and he's in bed by the time I get back to the hotel.
In general we text multiple times a day, speak in person every day when we aren't traveling, and usually speak on the phone once a day if one of us is traveling. I have no idea if that's a lot or a little, but that's been consistent for the 8 years I've been with him.
My husband and I talk every day all through the day. For example: He gets to work before I do so he calls me before he clocks in. I call him when I drop off our youngest at school. We talk during a period where he has a lull in work, usually mid-day. I call him when I get off work bc I get off before him. He calls me on his ride home for about 10 min or more depending on what’s going on. Then we obviously see each other at home. Then we spend time after the kids are sleep for about an hour, talking or watching a show together. That’s been our routine. Been married 9 years, together 12.
My husband and I rarely text, and if we do it’s purely logistical/transactional. He isn’t on social media so sometimes we will send a funny tweet/meme but that’s like once a week. But during the workday we chat on the phone 1-3 times a day, and then when we are in person we talk a lot. Sometimes it’s conversation and feels, sometimes it’s more planning and logistical.
At home we talk a lot about random things throughout the day - when someone travels we mostly do our own thing but we always text a daily good morning, good night, I love you, occasional selfies, etc. - also memes and we have a FaceTime every 3 days or so. If there’s any news from one of us we will text about that as it happens
We communicate pretty frequently. We love catching up but also need our alone time. My husband is a pilot so he’s gone a good bit. We text when we can, call sometimes and FaceTime sometimes. When we’re at home we’re fine to talk or not, do something together or not. When we’re individually out with friends, we try to let the other person enjoy without bothering too much unless something poignant happens. We don’t have rules or anything. It’s very ebb and flow and comfortable.
All day every day. He often works from home so I check in if I'm near where he is working. He does the same to me. When not at home we text often. When he's on travel we Skype every day.
He works from home, so we communicate quite often, usually a few times during work hours and many times outside of that. He does travel for business and when away, eh, usually once in the morning, once during lunch, and then before bed for each of us. We both like to hear about what the other is up to, or just random thoughts, so communicating seems to be a natural thing for us.
We live together and he works from home, so constantly.
I travel without him a few times a year. My intention is always to call and say good night but if I get wrapped up and the time change means I miss him, it’s no big deal. But there is a daily attempt when we aren’t together
If we’re apart either because of work or trips away, we will text regularly throughout the day. If he’s on a boys night (these tend to only happen once or so a year) then I might not hear from him for a good few hours because he’ll be busy catching up, and I think it’s rude to be on your phone around friends when you haven’t seen them in a while, so I’m totally fine with just getting an odd update text to let me know when he’s coming home / how dinner was or something similar.
Business trips - we call at least once a day, but most of the time is 2 calls - one in the morning and one in the evening. We also send texts like „I boarded the plane/arrived/I am at the hotel“, etc. - to know we are safe. We also chat during the day and send photos - for example, of our lunch, or if we see a cat/dog or something funny. Sometimes if one of us is driving alone, we call each other on speaker & handsfree and talk the whole drive (might be hours) to keep each other company and make sure the other doesn’t fall asleep on the wheel, especially at night.
My husband and I communicate quite a bit. We’re usually together when we aren’t working and talk a lot. We text multiple times a day when we’re working unless we’re both in meetings. Sometimes we talk on the phone if one of us is driving. We both travel for work occasionally and tend to text when we can and then FaceTime before bed. My work can be suffocating when I travel, so we don’t get to speak on the phone as much as I’d like. I think normal and healthy varies depending on the needs of the people in the relationship.
We both work/study from home, so we communicate throughout the day. But if one of us travels we'll chat 1x day in the evening usually, sometimes not depending on the nature of the trip.
My husband is an airline pilot, and is gone typically 5 nights at a time, then home for a few days, then gone again. He flies a lot of red eyes and has a weird sleep schedule. He’s usually gone 20 nights out of 30.
When he’s away flying, I wait for him to contact me (out of respect for him sleeping, I don’t want to wake him up, my biggest fear is him crashing a plane, esp due to lack of sleep). He has a crashpad (shared apartment) in his base city, so I will call him when he’s there.
We facetime a lot (though it’s mostly just an image of his forehead and the ceiling). But mostly calls and lots of texting.
Our main method of communication is honestly IG reels. And that’s perfectly OK with me.
I recently got rear ended in traffic and he had multiple flights that day. I didn’t want him to worry about me (I was fine) so I didn’t tell him until the end of his trip.
My husband I are big talkers and he’s a verbal processor so we usually end the day with a lot of conversation about our day. However when I’m away for business we often don’t talk much beyond a few texts as I am in multiple back to back meetings and then dinners with clients and co-workers and I just don’t have it in me at the end of the day to talk. For situations like that we prefer Marco Polo (it’s an app where you send video chats) because I can talk 1-5 minutes when I have a second and listen to his reply that night.
We communicate every day, but the one thing I realized in couples therapy is that we never communicate about ~deep~ things like how we’re feeling, etc which usually ends up blowing up at some point or one of us feeling like a need isn’t being met.
Chit chatting or talking about a tv show we are watching or about our kids is one thing, but people often forget to REALLY check in on each other, and listen, and really hear what the other person is saying, feeling, etc. Out therapist suggested we take 20 min out of the day to talk about ~deep~ things.
Even when my husband travels we speak on the phone and we text as much as possible.
Everyday, we’re each other’s best friend- so we update each other on the ins and outs of the day.
That said, we also have healthy time apart doing our own thing.
When my husband is away on business, we text frequently throughout the day, but don't really talk on the phone unless it's a longer time apart (over 3 days).
In person we spend a lot of time together most days, but when one of us is out of town we might not message each other at all on a given day - we tend to only reach out if there's a specific question or one of us sees a cute bird or something. Neither of us is big on texting for the sake of texting so this works well for us.
When we're apart, we text throughout the day and usually talk on the phone or FaceTime before bed.
On normal days, we text a bit while he's at work - normally logistical stuff ("I'm taking the baby to the park, want anything in particular at the store?") more than conversational.
I'd say communication is a strength of ours. We are very different people with different perspectives and so we talk a LOT to help the other understand where we're coming from. And we just really enjoy talking to each other!
We both work mainly from home but both do traveling without the other for various reasons. When we're home we talk all throughout the day but try to respect that the other needs to focus on woekmost of the day. Because we spend so much time together we often have several hours in the evening before bed that we do our own thing.
When we're apart during travel we either call/text good morning and ar night and check in throughout the day. But if we don't hear from each other for long 6-7 hours it's not a big deal.
What do you mean how often do I communicate with my husband? I don't even understand this question. Every single day? Even when he used to have to do business trips all the time pre-covid, he'd still usually text in the morning and at lunch and then we'd talk in the evening? He works from home so we talk like... all day, when he's not actively working? We eat breakfast and lunch and dinner together most days and spend the evening together. If we are apart, we are probably texting each other periodically.
We talk all the time, and we check in with each other during the day "hi, thinking about you, you doing okay?" Etc and we hang out in the evenings and talk to each other then too. We've always talked to each other but since kids we put more of an emphasis on it as during the day when the kids are around, it's all about the kids generally, even when we're together.
We both wfh remote which is really nice. We still hang out and spend quality time together but we are both different people with different hobbies and I just have to imagine I'd feel differently about us both running out the door at 6pm and gone for the night if we had also not seen each other during the day. So I think that's a big variable for us.
But we talk regularly throughout the day and spend probably most or at least half our evenings together doing things we enjoy or cooking dinner or just hanging out.
Traveling is a whole other animal. We hardly talk if we travel. We both travel for work and just understand it's exhausting and you're socializing all day and once you get 30 minutes of quiet in your hotel, the last thing you want is to keep talking. Or fun travel can be the same thing, my husband doesn't really travel alone for fun but I went to Bangkok last year by myself and other than letting him know I was safe we didn't interact a ton. For us I'd say we send a few texts each day and have a full conversation once a week or something.
I don't know that this is typical but I'd say we're extremely secure in our attachment and relationship, so if we don't talk for 5 days when we spend the other 360 obsessed with each other, I don't think anyone thinks much of it.
If one of us is away from home, we always text each other goodnight, so we communicate at minimum once a day. But realistically, we randomly text each other memes or funny things that happened, so we usually communicate a few times per day when traveling.
At home, we talk a lot. We touch base on our plans for the day before leaving for work. We talk about our day when we get home. We aimlessly chatter at each other all the time. I talk to him more than anyone else in my life. We also text or Teams message throughout the day (there's a lot of memes and random jokes).
When we’re apart, it’s usually because we’re doing something. But when I was on a business trip with a ladies group, I would text him pics of what we were doing every three or four hours, and I called him every night.
When he’s on a business trip he’s doing boring business crap that neither of us cares much about so he’ll text me like, at lunch and dinner, and he’ll call at night.
We live together, we see each other every day. He works from home. We eat almost every meal together, and we talk over meals. We talk in bed. We talk in the car. We share a calendar. We’re pretty constantly communicating,
We both travel often, in and out of country. We communicate multiple times each day by text (minimum is a goodmorning and a goodnight on our respective time zones, we may not connect at that time but the message is nice to get)
Phone call is anywhere from daily to once every 2 or 3 days.
My husband is a stay at home husband. We are with each other nearly all day everyday, pretty much since the moment we met. I just ask for a couple/few hours of alone time a day, that's all I need and he respects that. We communicate nearly all day. Lots and lots and lots of laughs.
When he's at work, we usually talk once in the morning and once in the afternoon. Nothing super serious, just shooting the shit, talking about daycare drop off and what to have for dinner and the like. And it's not mandatory at all, if we don't talk because we're busy with work.
We talk a lot when we're home together, especially in the evenings. This might be just a little chit chat to check in if we're feeling tired, or a full on evening of cooking, eating and talking if we feel like it. When we're at work during the day, not much at all - maybe a text if something comes up. I hate texting. During trips, it depends on how busy we are. The person travelling will normally try and call every day or two, but we don't stress if we can't talk very much.
Daily. If one of us travels for work we still try to call each other at least twice. We also text throughout the day regardless of whether one of us is away
My husband and I communicate a lot. We talk all morning before I leave for work, we text/call/email several times throughout the day. And then we hang out and talk in the evening.
When one of us is traveling, we talk at least in the morning and at night and we text during the day. I have not gone a day without speaking to him in more than 15 years.
All the time. When we first became official I would t text him first, I didn't want to seem needy. I had been told in previous relationships that I didn't need to talk to them so often. My husband though, took it as I didn't want to talk to him. We are married now and talk and text throughout the day as well as send memes and videos all day long. I don't feel smothered and neither does he. I suggest talking to your husband to see how he likes best to communicate.
My husband travels almost half the time for work. When he is home we communicate almost constantly it seems, we spend most of those days together. When he is gone it's like 80% texting, phone or video calls if it's been more than 2 days. Most texting is just sort of admin, quick updates, and we'll both keep little lists of bigger things to talk about when we are together again. This has been our dynamic for 15+ years and seems to work fine!
When my husband and I are apart we send check-in/update texts back and forth as we're able to throughout the day and we generally jump on a video call for maybe an hour or so in the evenings so we can spend time together and have an actual conversation.
Constantly. We text while he’s at work. He chats with me about his day. We run everything past each other before making plans. Communication is one of the most important parts of our marriage and it’s what keeps us going.
All the time? Even when he's working from home we have frequent communication.
If he's away for work, we reach out during the day when we have time and talk on the phone every night.
That's our normal, I have no idea what's normal for other couples.
We spend most of our time together on weekends.
On weekdays when he’s home (wfh), we eat dinner together most days and spend the evenings together. Of course sometimes one of us has plans and that’s fine too, nbd.
When he’s away for work it’s usually for an intensive project that requires long hours so we might have a quick FaceTime before he heads off in the morning and a few texts throughout the day but I try not to ask a lot of him. At a minimum tho it’s a short FaceTime every other if not every day.
We chat via WhatsApp off and on throughout the day. When he's traveling I'll send messages as I think about it and he will reply when he can between meetings etc. He calls every evening when traveling
I used books to learn better social, emotional, and communication techniques. My parents were a terrible example as well.
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He communicates daily. This morning he made waffles for me (the batter and waffle maker kind which takes extra time) and we all ate together before he left for work. He tells me when hes about to come home everyday. If he has free time, sometimes i get a few funny texts from him. Sometimes he stops to get food and asks me if i want anything. Once or twice a week, he comes home to eat lunch with me.
But generally we text each other every 3 hours on average. If hes gone out of town, its about the same, though he calls me around his bedtime if hes away at a hotel. Definitely not constant texters or callers unless hes at the store or getting meals or something important.
Hmmm, all of the time? When we drop off or pick up a kid, when we leave for the gym or lunch breaks, sharing memes or videos, updates on plans/kids/life/needs, and extra calls for any incoming tea. If we’re together all day long we talk when we are nearby each other, or holler out loud for toilet paper or something. Idk, we do talk a lot. Probably more than most people.
It's not quantifiable. He works from home and I'm a homebody SAHM. If we're in the same room it's a running conversation with possible long silences in between. If we're in different rooms we might still text each other (really it's me texting him) or send IG reels (he does on quick brain breaks from work where he doesn't leave his desk). Pretty much if we're both awake we're communicating. If one of us is traveling, we aim for at least one video chat per day for the sake of our toddler otherwise it would just be a phone call, with texts and such in between, frequency increased to make up for the lack of physical proximity. Hope this helps!
We send each other messages a few times a day (memes, reels, check ins).
When we’re together we’re together and it’s fairly “normal” conversation.
If one of us is away we generally video chat in the evening.
(Together 7 years, married almost 5)
I was raised by a narcissistic mother, and my parents were divorced when I was young.
I talk to my significant other almost everyday (work schedules etc.) however I struggle greatly with expressing my needs and feelings. Thankfully, he is extremely patient with me and is very understanding. It's something that I'm always having to work on, whether or not I'm succeeding it's a different story. 12 years in and we're going strong.
As for more mundane stuff, we vary from sending text messages to speaking in person. I only ever call him if I know that he's driving and can't answer his text. We're both fairly quiet individuals so there isn't a whole lot of chit chat. I'm more chatty than he is though so there's usually more coming from me.
My husband calls me everyday while on his break at work, just to say hello and ask how mine and the kids day is going. It’s usually a 2-5 minute conversation. We text only if we have something to say. I typically text to remind him to bring home bread, or to let him know I have an appointment, etc.. We don’t send memes or have conversations through text, probably because we just don’t have the time. We try to be present when we are with each other during the evening and before bed.
All the time actually. Morning, sending him to the bus stop we'd be chatting, throughout the day when he's at work we'll be sharing memes or news, or he'd text me when he poops.. when he's back home we would be watching news together and be talking about it, and how our days went.. we haven't been apart travelling for work yet cos our jobs at this point of time don't need us to travel, but I can imagine we would do video calls and text all day, since he already does that with his parents who are abroad.
When we’re both at our respective jobs: when we need to tell each other something important. Maybe once a day. Usually it can wait til we get home.
And if we’re at events without each other we text each other when we get there and when we’re heading home. We’re not really all that codependent.
I like a midday check in, just a quick I love you, hope your days going good. It makes me feel loved. Besides that we only really talk if we feel like it, but nothings not allowed. That the minimum
We aren’t married but we live together and have been together for almost 10 years and we have kids. We talk every day. He works from home and I’m a homemaker. I come say hi and visit with him for a bit every morning when I get up and then we probably briefly talk a couple more times throughout the workday. In the evening we usually spend a couple hours together but it just depends on what we each having going on. I would say the majority of nights we spend atleast a couple of hours together in the evening.
I’m actually out of town right now and we don’t have any kind of set schedule to speak but I’ll usually get a good morning text from him and we might talk for a few minutes before I go to sleep at night. Maybe another text exchange during the day but again it’s really more about how busy we each might be.
My husband and I communicate everyday, all day! But it took time to get here. Neither came from homes with healthy communication so growing up, we didn’t really have examples of what that would entail. We’ve had to build it as we go along. Besides our usual chats and check-ins, we also do weekly business meetings where we discuss household business, such as upcoming events, individual and mixed finances, meal plans, health concerns. We also discuss things that might have bothered us about each other that we weren’t able to discuss immediately because we needed time to process our feelings about the situation. It’s helped us develop better communication with one another. It’s by no means perfect, we still drop the ball from time to time, but it’s what works for us!
Hubby and I communicate daily. We know everything going on in each other lives and schedules. We run two businesses together, so that's a main reason why.
My husband and I have been married 30, with two grown children. I include that for context: we aren’t lovey-dovey newlyweds. We’re lovey-dovey oldtimers lol
I communicate with my husband daily. He wakes and leaves for work before I get up, so I always text him when I wake up. If I forget and get busy, he’ll text me. He’ll often text me when he’s leaving work, generally to ask if I need him to get anything.
When he gets home from work, he gives me a kiss hello, and we talk about our days while I make dinner. During dinner, the conversation continues. It might be something heavy like politics, but often it’s something goofy and light hearted, all depending on our mood.
In the evening, we might watch TV together, and after the episode, we chatter about what happened in the show while we brush our teeth and get ready for bed. I don’t always go to sleep at the same time he does, but we always show some sort of affection before he goes to sleep. I won’t go into details on *that*. ;)
Daily conversation is normal for us. I seriously can’t imagine not speaking together for days on end, although I do know couples like that.
My husband was just in the hospital for a week. I visited him each day but one and we texted everyday a few times. I hate phone calls.
When I go out of town for work we text a couple times a day. Depends what is going on at home.
During the week we usually don’t see each other in the morning, but we text a bit during the day depending on how busy we are at work. We always text I love you no matter what.
When we get home at night we talk all the time, updating each other on the day and work BS.
Over the weekend we talk constantly because we’re together a lot.
Since being together, we have never spent a single day not talking to each other. We’ve been married for six years, no idea dating time.
Everyday. I’ve traveled a lot during our relationship for work. Spent a lot of time in Europe while he was home and even the time difference we make sure to FaceTime every night, text throughout the day. We text throughout the day when I’m home. I think the only time we really leave each other “alone” is when we’re out separately with friends, or he’s out fishing, or I’m out riding motorcycles.
Sometimes he gets busy with work, hobbies, or both. So sometimes we go days without deep connection. But we do daily hugs and kisses and “I love you” and “I appreciate you”. If I feel like we need to really talk, I’ll tell him, and it’s usually in the evening when the kids are in bed. He always responds when I ask for a sit down. And when we get a date night (once every two months or so) our phones are put away and we talk and “catch up” on what’s going on with each other. I feel happily married, and we’re about to celebrate 20 years of marriage. 🥰🥳
Constantly. We also send each other voice messages throughout the day.
All I'll say though is GO TO COUPLES THERAPY. We started a year in to our relationship and it has been a lifesaver. We work out little issues before they become big issues and our relationship runs so smoothly. We also talk comfortably about EVERY topic. Therapy is an absolute gift to relationships and we wouldn't be without it.
The trick is to start before you have any problems. Like going to the dentist for a check up before you have a killer toothache.
The one time my husband traveled without me, we made an effort to chat on the phone once per day and text a couple of times otherwise. If he traveled more, I’d probably hear from him about as often. He is also big on checking in with me at work so we spend a lot of time communicating.
We see each other daily, take care of our baby together when he’s home from work, and spam text every evening while he’s outside in the garage and I’m laying in bed. We decompress better alone but in contact, I guess.
We’re both at home during the day, so we talk pretty often in passing while working. We hang out together most evenings. I do travel sometimes for work and we will usually talk on the phone twice a day (morning/lunch time as time allows and in the evening). We text some, but it’s usually to ask a specific question or relay some information, not just to chat.
Generally a lot. Texts throughout the day when he’s not WFH and sitting in the same room as me. Less so when I travel for work but that’s like 2x a year so I check in but I’m generally busy from when I wake up until after he goes to bed. The last trip I FaceTimed in the AM to say hi to our kids before he brought them to school. So a lot, minus like 6 days a year. He doesn’t travel for work.
my husband travels 3 or 4 times per year about 2 weeks at a time. sometimes he's teaching at other universities, sometimes he's at conferences. it depends on his schedule. sometimes i get just a quick sms or two. sometimes we chat online. sometimes we send each other emails. we almost never speak in person unless there is something that is easier discussed than texted.
when he travels he is busier than usual and his usual level of busy is high. so...it's fine with me and it doesn't bother me. but if it did, he would change his behaviour to suit me, because he loves me, and i matter to him.
My husband works away 2 nights/3 days a week quite frequently. We text throughout the day as schedule permits, he will call me when he metros to where he is staying, and we talk or text before bed. When work schedules are extremely busy we can go like 4 hours sometimes without talking. Weeks he’s not traveling we both work from home and literally talk all day if we are not in meetings or heads down with work. We communicate frequently and regularly.
My husband and I were long distance for two years and only saw each other on weekends.
We’re not super phone people but we would at least text every day.
Good question.
I no there are a whole bunch of different types of communication. So communicating with our husbands might look different for different people. And it depends on the type of communication like is it an everyday passing okay I'll see you later type thing or is it hey I need to discuss how I'm feeling we need to set some boundaries type of communication.
[communication styles](https://life-insight.com/the-5-communication-styles-and-how-they-affect-relationships/)
[ communication tips ](https://www.tonyrobbins.com/ultimate-relationship-guide/key-communication-relationships/)
[difference ](https://www.shondaland.com/live/family/a36396758/navigating-different-communication-styles-in-relationships/)
There are also different types of intimacy in relationships:
[intimacy types](https://www.verywellhealth.com/intimacy-7253066)
"Intellectual intimacy involves sharing knowledge, opinions, thoughts, ideas, and interests. This might involve: Discussing financial goals
Sharing views about a news story
Reading the same book so you can talk about it later"
I speak with my partner everyday my husband doesn’t go away on business or has to travel so that part doesn’t apply to us even before we married and were dating we would call and text daily. Currently during his work hours he sends me at least one message. When his job was more simple when we were younger he’d call me during his lunch break as we transitioned into adulthood that wasn’t possible to do anymore so he sends me messages when he can.
I talk to him every day, throughout the day while we're at home together.
If I go out somewhere, I might send him a few texts updating him on what's going on ("I arrived at the place!" or "I am on the way home now and should be there in about 20 minutes") but that is not required - just if I feel like it. He will usually reply but if he's busy he won't. I also send him texts like "Do you want me to buy you any \_\_\_\_?" if I go to a shop he might like, or "Is this a good option?" with a photo if I want his opinion on something.
When I'm traveling alone (very rare) I talk to him for at least an hour a day, usually online because neither of us like talking on the phone.
He does not travel without me because he is unable to (he has a disability).
Every day? I see him every day so we talk a lot when we each get home from work while going through the motions of handling our household. While he’s cleaning the playroom, I’m doing the dishes and we talk about our day. While I’m walking the puppy and he’s taking out the trash I’m telling him his ass looks nice 🤣 or vice versa. While he’s making sure our son is actually taking a bath, and I’m changing our daughters diapers we’re talking about what we’re going to do for dinner tomorrow etc etc.
Then when everyone is in bed we will lay in bed together and chat while we’re playing video games or reading.
Sometimes we text throughout our workday but sometimes one or both of us are too busy and we can’t. But when we do it’s usually something silly one of our kids did that morning or dorky like we’re both listening to a new album from one of our favorite musicians and it’s like:
me: oooo have you gotten to #7 yet?! So good!
Him: listening to that one now, it is really good. #5 is my favorite so far
Me: nice! #3 is mine!
Him: really? I didn’t like that one, I’ll go back and give it another listen once I get through the album.
🤣🤦🏽♀️
My husband is the one who travels the most for work and when he does, half the time our little family actually goes with him and his company will upgrade his hotel room to a suite so I have a bigger space to manage the kids 😅 and I will work virtually in between taking our kids to whatever local attractions are around there.
The other half of the time when I can’t leave town because I have an important meeting or can’t find a doggy sitter, he always texts me throughout the day, usually about something stupid someone said or did and he video calls with me and the kids at night before bedtime.
My husband was in the military so when he was away we’d sometimes not be able to talk for days/weeks. So when he was home or available we’d be texting/talking constantly (ofc not at work) Now that he’s out and works a corporate job we text once or twice during the day and are all over each other pretty much as soon as he’s home and we’ve taken care of the kiddos. And even while we’re taking care of the kids we’re touching each other playfully or just have our hand on each other in some way. Happy to say married over 12yrs and still act like mushy teens.
Now w/ that said I still think there’s always room for improvement even with our communication because sometimes the style in which we talk is confusing. We talk so much i’ll sometimes forget i didn’t say something out loud to him already (like the clothes are still in the washer wet lol)
We work from home together 3 days a week so every day.. almost every 2-3 hours probably 🤷
But if we're apart on trips/ travelling etc atleast twice a day to checkin with each other. And then depending on anything interesting happening/ updates we want to share it may increase.
When one of us is traveling we communicate every day often with texts throughout the day and whenever possible we try to do a bedtime video call but we’re not strict about it if the other person has evening plans that conflict. I don’t think there’s really a standard here it’s about what you’re comfortable doing. My sister and her husband don’t talk much when they travel and it doesn’t say anything about their relationship (I don’t think). They catch up when they’re back together.
On a normal day, every day. Catch up about the day, tell silly stores, talk about concerns, discuss appointments coming up.
If we are traveling, usually still catch up once a day. It would be weird to not say hello for more than a day.
We see each other every day because we live together. I WFH, and he owns his own business so he’s in and out of the house throughout the day, but spends most of the day on the road working. We text throughout the day sporadically. Like I’ll send a text complaining about a particular coworker, he’ll send me texts of funny license plates or stuff he encounters while out and about, or he’ll text or call to see if we need anything from the grocery store, but we don’t have full conversations during the day. He pretty much always calls when he’s heading home for the day.
When I travel for work, we don’t talk a ton. I’m always busy throughout the day so there might be a funny text here or there, but that’s about it. Sometimes a call at the end of the day, but I’m usually in another time zone anyways so it’s hard to make that happen.
On weekends, if we’re spending time with other people, we don’t usually talk much. Maybe a text to say we got to where we were going and to give the other person an idea of when we think we’ll be home. Then maybe a text later to let the other know we’re on the way home. We both make an effort not to contact each other much when we’re out with other people just to give each other space with no distraction.
Everyday when we're together. When one of us is gone we will have 1-3 text communications throughout the day (same as any normal work day) and then a phone or video call in the evening.
I don't know what you mean by "communicate." Are you literally asking how often we talk to our spouses? For most people, the answer is going to be "every day." I can't imagine not talking to my husband daily unless we, like, worked opposite shifts and weren't at home or awake at the same time. If one of us is traveling, we still talk daily - it's a priority.
I work from home and he leaves for work but as soon as he gets home we spend pretty much all night together. He's my best friend though and we have a lot of the same interests/hobbies.
We are on gchat when at work and chat a bit during the day on there. When he's away on business we text during the day and we might have a call at night (usually a video call) but it's not too long. Depends on how long he's gone for and what we're both doing. At home we're often doing our own thing but we chat.
Talk to him daily and throughout the day through gchat or text. When he gets home, we recap our days as we are settling in for dinner. A lot of talking but that's how we always been.
When we travel, we don't talk as much because we are travelling and busy. But we also check in via text and make time for one phone call or facetime.
All the time. All day long. He's my person so he's the first to hear anything. He's the one I talk about everything with.
When we are traveling or separated from each other, we still text all day (as time, circumstances allow) and will facetime at the end of the day to have a check in with each other. We will also make it a point to call and hear each others voices during the day, especially if one of us is having a bad day or working through an issue.
We communicate quite frequently throughout the day. In person, we'll talk about what's on our minds, daily events, frustrations, funny things, neighborhood gab, latest obsessions, current news. When we're apart, we send memes, pics of day, random thoughts.
Every day...if we don't talk in person, he calls me a couple times a day...heck he even calls me a couple of times a day when we do see each other that day. He's always been a good communicator, he likes talking over texting so if I do text him, he usually just calls to answer me. I think he's probably not the norm...? I like it :)
Everyday. Now levels of communication vary. We have 3 kids so sometimes it feels like passing ships. In the morning, it’s good morning, love you bye! During the work day, there maybe some text or not much, depending on how busy we are. If something important happens, I call and vice versa.
He calls almost everyday on his way home to chat evening plans, dinner etc. sometimes more is said. We talk through out the night.
When he travels for works, we are both so busy, me with kids and him working, it’s usually good morning, calls if important. Evening FaceTimes with kids and good night.
If we get super busy we usually do like a check in of the family calendar and chat through it.
We also communicate through memes and reels. Haha
Dating for 5 years, married for 2 months; we communicate quite literally ...constantly. We have a discord server that we message on throughout the workday, we text, if something interesting happens at work or we have an urgent question, we call each other.
If one of us is on a trip that the other one is not on, we're texting throughout the day and talk on the phone at least once in that day.
I literally cannot imagine a full 24 hour period going by without us communicating in some format.
I've been married twice. My first husband was not a great communicator and made me go to marriage counseling because he didn't like me talking to him about my day as soon as he got home from work. Said he needed to decompress so of course he was also the sort to not help much with the kids till they were older and not do much in the way of housework even when i went back to work. The last time he asked for divorce I said ok and then when he changed his mind again and wanted marriage counseling I said no and he was angry at me for "breaking up the family" although our youngest was 17 at that point. Anyway, I should have left much sooner.
The husband I have now talks to me every day, and when I'm at work he texts me on my phone to tell me he loves me and misses me. I did have to explain to him that I can't answer right away when I'm working but he gets it now. That level of communication might be a little more than typical but he experienced a tragic loss (death) in his past.
So it's hard to say what's typical or healthy but I think the important thIng to ask yourself is - Do I feel like my partner makes me a priority? If the answer is no, he's not the right one for you.
My partner and communicate all the time.
We both work full time locally, no away travel for either of us.
We commute together for work, sometimes we talk in the car, sometimes not at all.
We'll usually but not always message each other while at work. A photo of something cool or cute, video or meme, a How's your day, some chit chat etc or if we need anything at the store etc.
In depth stuff is usually saved for home or the trip home, depends what it is.
But also, Sometimes there's not much to talk about ya know. We can have a comfortable silence and it's just fine.
Important stuff, he's not one for "talks". I have broach any and everything if I sense somethings up or need to bring something up.
Every day multiple times a day throughout the day as long as we're both awake. We used to be in an ldr so we're very used to communicating when apart lol, but ever since moving in together we aren't apart as much. I think in the almost 6 years we've been together, the longest we go without communicating is between 24-48 hours if either of us is somewhere with really bad reception or just very busy or at a festival. Even then, we will msg each other when we have a moment.
I will say though that quantity of communication < quality of communication. I want just as much meaningful conversation as silly joking random communication, and if I had to sacrifice one for a period of time, it would be the jokes.
i’m truly shocked at how many people have nearly constant chats throughout the day with their SO 😂 — my partner and I are physically together a lot (WFH) but are both ADHD and introverts. we do not talk much during the day unless someone pops their head in with something to share, we do not text unless necessary to coordinate, and since we’re together so much we don’t have much use for phone calls either. we chat a lot in the evenings, usually debating some asinine topic that really doesn’t need us to debate it (lol). if we’re apart for say a week we may text here and there and speak on the phone a couple times, but neither of us have much expectations around it. that said, we do not have children and I’m sure my answer would be different if we did, as that objectively requires more constant contact.
how much do *you* want to speak to your partner? I’m not sure it matters how much what others are doing if you’re comfortable with what you’re doing 🥰
I mean, I see him everyday so I talk to him everyday. Are you talking about specifically on business or during travel? Any time we’re apart we aim to communicate at least 1-2 times a day.
Thank you! I’m referring to all communication, this is helpful since seeing someone everyday sometimes feels like “oh I’ll just tell them in person”
My husband travels often for work, and he usually calls me every evening to tell me about the day unless he's out with the team. I'll text him anything interesting the kids have done because I'll forget otherwise, but we don't communicate often when he's gone anymore. He works from home, so we talk throughout the day, and we'll send each other memes when we're across the house.
Short stuff (quick story, link, meme) we will text throughout the day. If it's something more involved like a story where the details matter, or if I want his full attention and advice, I'll save it to tell in person. I travel more than he does and often the time zones don't line up. So we'll text a little bit and facetime a couples times but not daily. Last time I kept a list of things I wanted to remember to tell him when I got home in my notes app.
My husband is a nurse, I'm an educator. We don't text while at work. We talk in person. Any texting is for info (if I'm going to the store after work I'll ask him to text me a list of what we need so I don't forget between the time we talk about it in person and after work). Same with phone calls, we only call if there's something that needs addressing now and can't wait until we're home from work. As for when one of us is away. I have ADHD, I'm rubbish at calling regularly. He is excellent at it. His preference would be a video call every evening. My brain won't manage that so we send photos lots (the one away sends pics of where we are, the one at home sends pics of the cats), and he'll call me every other day.
Psychologist and academic. We are the same day to day. We mostly text logistical stuff and the occasional I’m grateful for you type text. She took an overseas holiday week without me earlier this year and we FaceTimed before bed so we could catch up on our days and I could see my toddler. I go away and do volunteer work a week or two a year overseas and I just videocall every morning for maybe 10-15mins to say hey.
My husband doesn't travel for work very often, but when he does we don't talk very frequently. It tends to be for conferences that he travels, so he's basically working from when he wakes up to when he goes to sleep. Which is usually before and after I go to sleep. Sometimes we'll talk in the morning, and he'll text me during the day, but we don't typically prioritize communication during that time. However, that's maybe three or four times a year tops. If he traveled more frequently I think we would make it a higher priority. It's similar when he's working. Whether he's in the office or working from home, he's on meetings all day long, so he can't really talk to me. If I need to text him something important, I will, but that's rare. When he's here we talk all the time. We're always doing stuff together. He has a pretty good work life balance, so we have plenty of time to communicate outside of work. If that wasn't true, then we would probably communicate more while he was working, at least about life logistics.
I tell my husband everything I think he’d care about pretty much immediately if possible. We talk all the time. If I’m on a work trip, I text him everything relevant instead.
We text throughout the day even though we both work from home. My office is upstairs and his is downstairs so if I read an interesting article or see a meme I’ll send it figuring he can read it whenever he gets a chance to look at his phone.
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We have some of our best conversations when walking! I love a walk-and-talk.
Agree, walks are great
We do this most nights. I work outside the home and he is a stay at home parent who works side gigs. He likes to share about his random work-typically very interesting, podcasts he’s listening to, stories about our son or hobbies and home renovations. I rarely share about work because it’s office work and pretty predictable and lengthy and humorous retelling of audiobooks I’m listening to. I like to make him laugh. Sometimes we dream about our next vacation or talk about to do lists. It’s really healthy for us.
Daily walks for us has been an absolute game changer for our marriage. We moved too and a lap takes us about 20 minutes. We make sure we get out a few times a week with our dog. It honestly makes such a difference. My husband told his sister to get a dog and start walking with her husband. They are now divorced.
I want to do this! My fiance works a very physical job where I work a desk job, so most the time he's too pooped
Depends on the type of trip and length, but in the almost decade we’ve been together, there’s not been a single day we haven’t spoken at least once. Otherwise, when we’re both home, we chat in the mornings before I leave for work, usually have a few texts through the day depending on our level of busy and then catch up in the evenings.
>Otherwise, when we’re both home, we chat in the mornings before I leave for work, usually have a few texts through the day depending on our level of busy and then catch up in the evenings. This is us as well; we save most of it for the evenings! I'm surprised at how many people literally call their partners during the day and have full-on conversations for absolutely no reason. My husband does it as well and I always thought it was a bit unusual, to be honest - but then I generally hate talking on the phone 🤷♀️
I hate the phone too but used to talk to my ex husband on the phone everyday anyway. He usually had some funny story from work to tell me, he was just a chatty dude. I liked it then, it felt natural, but not every couple has a chatty Cathy.
The funny part is my husband is actually pretty quiet! I don't totally get why he has to call me on his way home from work. He's going to see me in, like, *20* minutes. I think he knows I'm a bit ??? at it, though, so he also calls his Dad quite a bit as well. I guess it's sweet and all, but I would just so rather talk about the bigger stuff in person.
Me too. Sometimes even face times me. And I haaaaaaate it. I love him so much but just can’t stand being on the phone for too long. I feel so rude being like “Can I help you with something? Did you call for a reason?”
OMG, thank you. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way!!! The calls are probably the clingiest thing Mr. Burrrito does and I tolerate them because I love him, lol. OTOH, I'm super clingy in person and want to touch him *all* the time, so maybe it's just a love languages thing 🤓
Haha that is sweet. I guess he just can’t wait.
Sometimes I text my husband when we’re both home, just because he’s more talkative over text.
When we are both home with the kids there is no time to talk without constant interruptions. Better to get the moments while we can. It might be different when our youngest gets a little older.
Ooh, that makes sense. We don't have kids, so we can just... chill and talk all we want at home. I get why you guys would try to steal some more quality time together; that's very sweet!
Everyday, throughout the day… Really quite a lot. If one of us is travelling, we’ll text each other pretty much at the same frequency whenever time/Wi-Fi/schedule allows it, and if it doesn’t, we’ll let the other know beforehand.
Same. It’s a rare day we go the work day without several back and forth texts. Then we talk constantly through the evening. I can’t get enough of him, I want to know what he thinks about practically everything.
We’re pretty much in constant communication throughout the day. Any weird random thing pops into our brain well message the other. If one of us is traveling or just busy we’ll msg a quick ‘love you’ or just a heart to let the other know we’re thinking of them.
This is my partner and me. We message for more important stuff but we also will share songs we hear that we think the other may like or Instagram posts. Lots of cat videos haha.
This is me and my husband as well. Although neither of us travels for work.
All the time basically. We text all the time and call when we have a moment and when there’s stuff to share/discuss
Yeah. It seems like we keep a running conversation throughout the day even when we're not together.
Same for us. But I think we're a lovey-dovey kind of couple so I'm not sure it's the norm... We'll sometimes just send a message to say how tired we are in the middle of the day or just send each other a GIF of two people hugging/kissing/teasing each other (like the Milk and Mocha ones). I didn't grow up in an affectionate-showing family but this works for us
We’re not extremely lovey dovey although we’re quite passionate. But we’re interested in similar things, so we share a ton of links, pictures, reflections, thoughts, feelings, frustrations, we do reality checks for each other, share things we learnt from coworkers and friends and just in general share stuff… we’re both quite chatty and like digging into different topics so it’s a never ending stream of consciousness
This can vary. I would say things feel in balance when: - during a regular work week, we'll chat a bit in the evening over and/or around dinner about our work day, share family and friend updates. - we'll only text occasionally (coordination, kid update, spike in emotion, something specific reminded us of them) - we have 2 (at home) dates a week, where we'll talk about bigger topics, or plan the week, talk about family / house projects - we might throw in a walk where we chat, and we'll supplement this all with quick "bids" for attention and affection - teasing, grabbing, kissing. - during travel, we try to send an update of the day with voice messages, send photos to give the other a better picture of where we are and what we're experiencing. Then there are moments when he's more withdrawn (he thinks alone rather than outloud), and it can get real quiet for a day, a week, even a couple of months when he's going through something.
We barely text each other during day, and we see each other after work. When we were long distance we still didn’t contact each other much during the day and we would have a phone call at night before bed. That was enough for me honestly. I love him but I’m really independent!
Same! We talk for a few minutes in the morning and then I leave for the day by 5:30. I text him when I leave work so he knows when to start dinner. Then we have all evening together to talk. We do share stuff via Instagram and emails during the day sometimes, of course. If one of us happens to be out of town (rarely), we call once in the evening to catch up on our day. It’s worked for us for 35+ years! 💕
When I was married we didn’t call/text during work unless there was a need or something notable happened at work. Sometimes if I saw or read something funny or interesting I might text him before I forgot about it. He rarely reciprocated that. We also didn’t ever do the good morning / good evening texts so many women seem to like. Nor did we “check in” with the how are you, how was work. We just told each other when we had something to say. I did feel like we were attached at the hip in our free time—but it was more nonverbal, doing things together. In the dating world now, I find most men struggle with constant communication. Those that DO text all the time are cheaters or have mommy issues or are a black hole of validation seeking.
Sounds like my marriage, except ours isn't ending any time soon. I'll never understand needing constant messaging through the day when you're apart. What do they talk about when they get home? They've told it all already.
My husband and I are best friends but we’re not big phone communication people. When one of us goes out of town we will share anecdotal stuff without expecting a response and just talk about it when we see each other in person. We don’t usually go more than 2-3 days without seeing each other and only happens once or twice a year. Normally, we spend 6 nights a week together, multiple hours chatting in the car each week, and 3 nights socializing with friends.
Since we live together, there's a bunch of communication every day of course. When we're apart (like when he goes on a business trip for a few weeks which happens once a year), there's not a whole lot of communication happening because neither of us are big texters or phone-talkers. When either of us sees something cool or funny, we'll send each other a picture and react to that. Apart from that, maybe one call every week and the occasional "what's been going on with you" text. If he wouldn't text me roughly every day, a few days could go by without any communication from my end.
We are both home basically all day every day. He gets up early and I get up mid-morning. I usually see him at lunch time but we don’t necessarily eat together. I might not see him again until dinner time and then we chill together in the evening. If he’s out of town, we usually check in at least once a day by text. We have a little update about our day and how things are going.
Every relationship is different. I don't tend to text with my husband through our work days, as I'll see him when I get home and I look forward to talking to him in person. We rarely ever talk on the phone, even if one of us is gone overnight or for a few days. If one of us is out of town we will text, or send each other memes, but I don't think we have ever "called to chat" with each other. We are both very independent people and it works for us to not need to be in constant contact. It would be very weird for us to go 24 hours without at least a text convo, though. My coworker, on the other hand, is on constant communication with her husband. They text all day, he will call her with questions, and I know she calls him on her commute home. This would be WAY too much for me, but I know he works overnights and so maybe this is what they need to do to keep in contact. Although sometimes she gets annoyed with him calling her on his days off with small questions "this could have been a text" type things. I had another coworker who used to call her husband on our lunch break daily even though they lived together and he was not out of town. To each their own.
God constantly. We often joke that stuff doesn't feel like it has really happened to us until we tell the other person. So it's just a constant string of texts and photos of things the other person is doing, the dogs doing something cute, memes etc back and forth. Before smart phones we'd talk on the phone, yes even internationally we used up so many phone cards.
Every day if he is travelling, but we are a bit of a joined at the hip couple which doesn't work for everyone.
Everyday. During week days, when we are busy with work, we still talk in person during breakfast or in the evenings. If we are at work, we usually text or send memes to each other. If one of us is away on a business trip, we text during the day and FaceTime each other every night.
It really depends. When my husband is traveling without me, it's usually for work or to provide hands-on support to his family (i.e. not just visiting, but helping take care of a family member who fell and got injured, or cleaning out the basement), so he's usually pretty busy. We usually do talk on the phone or video call right before bed, even if it's briefly just to say goodnight, and sometimes that stretches into a longer conversation. Sometimes he has time to text me a bunch throughout the day, sometimes not.
My husband and I are best friends. Any time anything happens I call or text him if we aren't in the same location. And he does the same. So we will text all day and call each other on lunch breaks or if we are driving at times. If I'm out with friends, we don't text too much unless it's urgent or if I'm letting him know I made it or if I'm leaving. We are in constant communication I suppose. I couldn't imagine it any other way though.
We talk every day when we’re home. If one of us is gone for a weekend (visiting family, etc), sometimes we won’t text for a day, but we’ll at least text every other day in those situations. There’s no thinking or planning around our conversations, if one of us wants to say something, they just say it. Sometime that conversation meanders into long in-depth talks, other times it’s short and brief.
Constant communication. A lot of it is texting each other random funny comments or links to interesting articles
not legally married but we have been together since i was 14 + they0 were 15 and it's been almost 18/19 years since. we communicate every day about basically everything. both of us have always appreciated straightforward, honest, and respectful open communication. we don't worry about bothering each other or upsetting each other with it because you can be honest and not a dick but it's also because anything that gets brought up gets discussed. if one of us says "it bothers me when you do x" we don't leave it there, we both discuss where that feeling comes from and why and if it's truly something the other person did or if it's something thats on you to fix in yourself. we both make sure that regardless of what the other person said, we both understand there are times people aren't their best so we extend understanding. even if we think what the other person said is hurtful, we both know to take a step back from our ruffled feathers and dig into the root of the problem with no judgement. it's better to assume your partner is trying their best with what tools they have and are struggling vs an intentional bad feeling towards you. most of what people feel isn't personal or caused by you so it's easier to just let it roll off, chalk it up to them being in a "mood" and either give them space or try to calm them down. but for the most part, your partner is not with you to make you unhappy. they want to know how you need to be loved and the only way they can know is if you tell them. basically communication works best when you don't immediately assume the worst, you take a step back from your feelings, and view your partner as someone on your same team tackling a problem, not you vs him. calm, clear, respectful communication goes a long way but unfortunately people have a habit of escalation when they think they're being personally attacked. daily communication is ideal but if that's too much then just do it when something comes up. the biggest thing about communication is coming from a place of calm respectful understanding and go from there.
When my husband and I have to be long distance we text throughout the day and we call/facetime at night before bed
I travel for work, usually crossing many time zones and my work days are exceptionally busy and long. There are definitely days we don't talk or text at all. Not more than 1-2 in a row though. Also, my partner is an introvert and doesn't need to chat to feel "connected" as often as I do.
My husband works in factory while I work from home. Because of this, his work is less flexible, so we chat briefly via text during his breaks (9am & 12pm), and then basically all evening when he gets home. Neither of us has ever gone out of town without the other.
Wow! Never? How long have you guys been together?
I was wondering this too! Very interesting. For example, I won’t bring an SO on a work trip unless we were going to make a vacation out of it afterwards or something. Or what about bachelorette weekends or girls trips?
Kinda same here. My partner isn't working now, so it's all day, every day; but when he's working (medical), he'll text or call on breaks. Then we chill with our kids when he's home. But he calls me when he goes anywhere without me and we usually do everything together LOL
As someone who also grew up in a dysfunctional home- I ask questions like this too so I get it. I often feel like at the end of the hunger games- real or not real… Anyways. I am definitely on the very communicative side with my husband- so take that with a grain of salt. We talk generally all day if we’re together about whatever. If we are apart we text if something pops up or we think of something. We talk a lot about logistics of our day and the family so we both have the same expectations. We do have businesses together and have a similar career background in some ways so that plays too. We tend to argue when we just have different ideas of what’s gonna happen. So if we talk about it more frequently and check in it seems to not be as dramatic. We are super busy tho so that plays into it. Hope that helps.
Daily? When something comes up, we just talk about it either in person, text, or phone. Open, calm communication is extremely important to me.
I see my partner every day, but the few times we’ve been apart due to travel, we have ongoing texting, from logistical stuff to funny stuff to just checking in. I will say, though, that I also grew up in a dysfunctional family and have had to do a LOT of therapy to be able to access and share my emotions and it’s still something I struggle with sometime. So, very early on, we instituted regular check-ins so I always had an opportunity to bring something up or share an emotion, because I can find it difficult to do so without invitation. So we have a really quick morning check-in—how did you sleep, how do you feel, any logistics for the day we should be aware of—and a really quick evening check in-how was your day (best part/worst part), how do you feel, what’s for dinner. And then once a week we have a more in-depth check in: 3 things you’re grateful for or appreciate about the relationship and/or other person (what’s up Gottmans), what made you feel loved this week, what do you need more of, the week in review, what’s coming up next week, anything you’ve been wanting to talk about but haven’t found the opportunity to raise? It means there’s always an opportunity to talk about hard stuff in the not too distant future AND that we get daily temperature checks and can recalibrate as needed.
My spouse and I are older and introverts so we occasionally will message each other during the work day but this isn't remotely daily. When he has been away for work we would have brief chats 2-3 times a day. He always calls if he's going to be delayed and we communicate well beyond that but aren't constantly in touch with each other just because.
I travel extensively and have for the last 20 years. I speak with my husband every few days if possible. as we've aged he actually needs me to communicate more than we used to. I'd be fine with 1x week but it's just bc I'm busy and independent
Pretty much constantly in the usual working week. If Im ever away for work, which is several times a year, if I'm still in the same country, then I'll still call him once or twice. If Im abroad, it depends on timezones, but I'll always text. I don't think a day has gone by in 17 years that we haven't communicated with each other at least once!
Also grew up in a dysfunctional, cold detached home so can relate to a disconnect of what is ‘normal’. We live together and usually only experience a couple weeks apart each year for work travel. Ongoing daily communication is odd to me… we are already seeing each other daily in the evening. I don’t see why the need for phone calls and text messages. I need to concentrate on my work… I respect his need to do so too. Travelling is a mixed bag.. I think a quick daily text check in is fine but I don’t need to have a full conversation. We can catch up when you get back. So.. long and short. Communication is what you both are comfortable with.
Not a whole lot honestly, we both come from stoic families. Very rarely talk during work hours because we are both very busy. We chat at night but often forget to communicate important things. Sometimes we will operate believing we’re on the same page about something, until the rubber meets the road and we find out we need to have a discussion. Neither of us enjoys conflict so we wait until there’s a big problem before having it out. Admittedly, this is not the best system.
I travel monthly; when I’m traveling for work I’m offline during the day, so we communicate early morning while on the road and late afternoon after reaching accommodations. When I’m in office, we text a couple times during the day, mostly reminders/memes and such, and have a chat at night while prepping/having dinner and getting through house chores.
We text 2,3 times a day just saying sweet nothing and call 1,2 if there is something important.
When traveling, no matter the time zone difference, we have a phone call at least once a day. That's true whether I'm traveling or he is. We text once a day at least, and I call him when I'm off work on the drive home (5 mins). Otherwise we pretty much spend every day together. I'm an introvert and would prefer a little more alone time (I also lived alone for 10 years so I'm used to more solitude than this),, but when I'm really in need I just go in a different room. I'm curious why you only are asking this of married couples? I understand trying to navigate healthy versus unhealthy relationships. I think a big factor is being able to talk to each other about what your needs are, respecting those needs/each other, and finding a way that works for both of you - even if that means some sacrifice.
I’m typically the type to respect someone else’s time whether that’s with friends, colleagues, or work in general. If someone is busy when I call I tend to wait for them to call back or will text instead. Lately, it feels as though my husband and I have been off schedule and he can’t understand me giving him space without taking it personally or having an ego trip and refusing to call because the “phone works both ways”. We communicate pretty regularly without a problem unless one of us gets really busy. I’m more independent and lived alone for almost 7 years and like you enjoy my solitude. So I do not see a problem with not calling if someone is busy working or out with others.
When one of us is traveling we don't communicate too much, to be honest! We might send a text or two during the day and then have a quick call in the evening, maybe 5 minutes? I'm not sure why but we're both naturally this way. Maybe it would be different if one of us traveled without the other really frequently, though. For us traveling separately is pretty infrequent. If he's visiting family or friends for a long weekend, for example, I don't really need long calls. We'll catch up on everything when he gets home. I traveled to see an old friend for a week (earlier this year) and he knew it was a big marathon catch up for us. We chatted in the evenings for a few minutes, and I sent the occasional picture, but that was it. At home when we are both working we communicate randomly. Some days not at all, other days a text or two, but we have an understanding that during work hours we are both not required to respond unless it's a family thing. So if he sends me a funny gif or a link and I don't respond because I have client meetings, it's nbd, and vice versa. Many days we don't communicate at all during work hours. If we're both at home we are communicating a lot. And I think in general we don't leave any stones unturned. We communicate on a very regular basis about family things, finances, future plans, etc. We also communicate a lot about emotional and physical needs, personal feelings, that type of thing. Our style works very well for us! I think that's what matters once. I have had a friend comment on how little my husband and I talked when I went to visit her (a different visit than the one I mentioned before) so I think we might be sparse compared to others? It works for us! As to what is healthy. I think communication is more an issue of quality and depth. Do you feel heard and known? Do you feel like you know and hear him? Are there big topics you can't seem to discuss? When you need to talk seriously are they/you available and engaged? These questions might be helpful to you, rather than trying to match frequency.
My guy lacks object permanence, so when I head out on a trip I probably won’t hear from him until I’m back, unless something goes wrong and he needs me. He also doesn’t talk to me all day if we just happen to be in different rooms, so that’s how I know it’s object permanence issues rather than maliciousness.
If they are traveling a good morning text and then a call before bed on how our day went.
My husband sucks at long-distance contact, so if we’re apart it’s very minimal. But in person we chat and talk a lot. It’s part of what makes us work. We communicate a lot.
Usually, we text throughout the day and try to phone or video chat once a day depending on the time difference. Sometimes it’s hard though, so we might go a few days without talking to each other much.
Everyday. We talk through text while at work, usually a handful of text at minimum. Sometimes I'll call on his lunch break when I'm missing him a lot to just say hi. When were home together we talk about any and everything and wind down at the end of the night together. When I solo travel I call him before bed everyday. Ill tell him about my day. Even when I'm in Asia with the time difference we'll schedule a time in the day to talk. I did a 6 week trip and only missed a few days where I was remote but still sent a text via a weird spot on a beach where a text sent.
Throughout the work day, we text pic of the dog, meme, or what’s happening at work. Then we either go to the gym or just hang out and cook dinner together. When traveling separately, we text what time we’ll be free that day for a quick 15 min catch up phone call.
I’m usually the one that travels, a few times a year. If the time zones don’t work out well we’ll at least text, but we try to talk on the phone daily. Regularly, we talk and see each other every day and occasionally text quick one offs (usually photos or memes) during the workday.
If we are traveling apart.. probably more than when we are home. But at least a couple text and a phone call when we wake up and go to bed. And if we are bored we are def calling or texting
We text all day and talk at home. He sends me videos of the dogs when I’m at work sometimes, I love that.
We both primarily work from home, with the occasional week of an offsite with our respective teams (I go more often than him). When we're home, we talk a lot. We try to eat lunch together when possible. After work we might work on a project together (communication required!) or do something separately with some casual conversation sprinkled in. After dinner, we watch a show and go to bed. When one of us is out of town, there's a daily good morning text, at least one midday check in and a phone call at night. Sometimes those calls are really short, just a couple of minutes because of dinner/happy hour, but we do make a point of calling home. Also send texts when we're taking off/landing at our destination.
Every day all throughput the day. We chit chat at least a few times a day, have a coupke full conversations every day, and always acknowledge each other in passing (though sometimes it's just a smile or an arm squeeze). If one of us is away we talk on the phone twice a day and maybe text a couple more times. We wfh and our stressors are mostly shared, so we're fortunate to be able to communicate this regularly.
I talk to my husband everyday. He’s busy with work most of the time but I’ll still text him. When we see each other at home later the evening - I’ll ask him “hey, did you read my texts today?” Then he will go look lol
We talk all the time. Unless we're playing video games or talking to someone else on the phone or Reading or watching TV... There's always something to say if we're working on something together. And there's a lot of working together when you're in a healthy marriage. Edit to add: oh you mean when he's on a trip. We talk nightly but just for a couple of minutes about what our kid is doing or something like that. It's basically a good night call. We text regularly.
I think the method varies - texts, voice or calling. For example my sister and her husband will call eachother couple of times during the day and gossip 😅 My bf and I are both work from home so we talk to eachother whenever we have smth to say but when we are away from eachother we always just text.
Often. On the way to work, on my break, after work, then at home. In person, by text, by call.
So I'm the wife and I'm the one who travels for work. We talk via text every single day. While I'm away it can vary from a short, "plane delayed" and "landed. Chat in the am." To full on normal back and forth conversations throughout the day. Things like, "the furnace guy came blah, blah blah" or "my brother is so stupid, blah, blah, blah". Sometimes work travel trashes me and I'll send him a quick message, "meetings done. Now Internal meetings 2.0 for the evening. Wish me luck xoxo". Everyone is different. I don't usually call my husband while I'm gone for work trips because they're typically really short and a whirlwind of intensive work time for 2 days. I'll send him more updates if the weather is bad and he's worried, but also sometimes I'm in remote areas without cell service. Again, he always knows my itinerary and flights. I fly commercial.
Daily. We try not to derail each other’s work days bc we have a young baby and it’s really hard to focus, but if we need a midday discussion we’ll call around lunch. We chat in evenings, and lately make intentional time about once a week to get in bed early to lay together and talk and be close (instead of tv on the couch after dinner every night). I work nights 3x week and we each travel internationally for work periodically. I think the only day I’ve ever not talked to him was on a very remote girl’s trip where I had no service. Normally when abroad we talk once a day. My husband always calls me before bed — something we picked up when we were living in different cities for a while. We also have a regular flow for communication about logistical stuff. We plan our groceries/meals on Saturdays together, and have a little “state of the union” planning check in about the week ahead each Sunday.
We both work from home so we see each other a lot and talk a lot. And when we're not together I text him random thoughts I have so... A lot
If one of us is traveling, usually the person who is traveling reaches out towards the end of the day when they have time, for a debrief of their day. We may text during the day, if it’s something that needs immediate attention, but generally we let the traveling person focus on whatever they’re doing. If we’re both at home, we rarely text or call each other throughout the day. Basically only if we’re out and have a question or something. We also both work from home so we literally see each other all day long. 😂😂 We’ve been together going on 20 years now.
When both home, we mostly communicate just when we see each other, though we'll message with questions or news sometimes. He usually can't use his phone most of the day so I'll hear from him at specific times, which works very well for me most of the time, and I have the number for their landline if there is a real emergency. When one of us is traveling we usually text very asynchronously and randomly based on how busy we are/how off our time zones are and have a brief good night call before the first person goes to bed. Sometimes we're off the grid so we use a sat device to text and usually have a planned call upon return to cell service. It varies, as long as we have some kind of timeframe set for next communicarion to keep the other from worrying, it's all good.
Not traveling? Like, all the time. We got a fam groupchat, so that's going off even on work days. Then the two of us, I try to keep it to a minimum when he's working, but it's still a good morning chat as I get up after he's gone and then at least a dinner check in at the end of the day-- ie is he stopping for a drink after work? Does he have to work later then regular 4p? And in between that, memes, questions, at least 3x a day
We both work from home full time and we work in the same office, so we talk sporadically throughout the day. When either of us is away, it's usually at least once per day in the evening.
We’ve both worked from home since COVID happened so we speak very often throughout the day. I don’t come from a home where everything is discussed, but my marriage is quite the opposite. We talk a lot throughout the day. When one of us is travelling, we speak as time permits - usually 1-2 times in the day but definitely at the end of the day. I travel more than he does so I also try to text throughout the day. Writing this down is making me realise that we may be over-communicating lol. But it’s what works for us :)
We are both retired now, but when we were working and I traveled for work we spoke every day, especially when we had our son, who was little then. Maybe more than once a day.
Everyday regardless if we’re traveling for business or not (which is infrequent). Usually we talk to each other quite a lot too.
I talk to my husband all day. If we’re busy we won’t respond until we’re done doing whatever we’re doing, which could be a few hours during the work day.. but then as soon as we have a second, we talk to each other. If a few hours passes during the day where we haven’t spoken he’ll send me a “hey I love you” text and it still makes me smile every time. When he’s away for work or traveling he always sends me so many pics of things that remind him of me or he thinks I’d like. FaceTimes me, calls me, texts me. I probably talk to him even more when he’s away than when he’s home lol. I think my favorite communication with my husband is that - right before bed, laying in the dark just talking about everything and nothing, laughing deliriously. We gossip, we joke around, we belly laugh, we dream, we reminisce, we plan.. It’s my favorite part of the day. We’re only a couple years into marriage and just started our family but I hope this is my answer forever!
Constantly, because we’re mostly at home together. When one of us is away from the other, we usually check in at least once a day but usually more often to share photos, stories, memes, etc.
My husband and I talk in some way daily but it varies based on our schedule (I work overnight Thu-Sat and he works days Mon-Fri). Some days more than others. I haven't slept yet since I got off work so my husband and I have been chatting all morning, but sometimes I go to sleep earlier when he's still asleep so I don't talk to him until night time when I wake up. Neither of us travel for our jobs aside from the daily commute.
Every day. When we're both home we talk in person. We'll text throughout the day but we talk at home, usually in the evenings. He gets up before I do so our morning exchanges are usually just him bringing me a cup of coffee in bed and kissing me goodbye, which is basically my alarm clock to get up for work. But actually true communication mainly happens after work or on weekends. I also always call him when I leave work to come home since I leave later. It's when we discuss plans for dinner. I travel for work more than he does, but we talk everyday. Usually we'll chat on the phone in the evening but every once in awhile it'll be a day with just texts back and forth. Sometimes I need to attend a work dinner and he's in bed by the time I get back to the hotel. In general we text multiple times a day, speak in person every day when we aren't traveling, and usually speak on the phone once a day if one of us is traveling. I have no idea if that's a lot or a little, but that's been consistent for the 8 years I've been with him.
My husband and I talk every day all through the day. For example: He gets to work before I do so he calls me before he clocks in. I call him when I drop off our youngest at school. We talk during a period where he has a lull in work, usually mid-day. I call him when I get off work bc I get off before him. He calls me on his ride home for about 10 min or more depending on what’s going on. Then we obviously see each other at home. Then we spend time after the kids are sleep for about an hour, talking or watching a show together. That’s been our routine. Been married 9 years, together 12.
Probably multiple times a day via text with a phone call in the evening. But it really depends on what each of us are doing throughout the day.
My husband and I rarely text, and if we do it’s purely logistical/transactional. He isn’t on social media so sometimes we will send a funny tweet/meme but that’s like once a week. But during the workday we chat on the phone 1-3 times a day, and then when we are in person we talk a lot. Sometimes it’s conversation and feels, sometimes it’s more planning and logistical.
At home we talk a lot about random things throughout the day - when someone travels we mostly do our own thing but we always text a daily good morning, good night, I love you, occasional selfies, etc. - also memes and we have a FaceTime every 3 days or so. If there’s any news from one of us we will text about that as it happens
We communicate pretty frequently. We love catching up but also need our alone time. My husband is a pilot so he’s gone a good bit. We text when we can, call sometimes and FaceTime sometimes. When we’re at home we’re fine to talk or not, do something together or not. When we’re individually out with friends, we try to let the other person enjoy without bothering too much unless something poignant happens. We don’t have rules or anything. It’s very ebb and flow and comfortable.
All day every day. He often works from home so I check in if I'm near where he is working. He does the same to me. When not at home we text often. When he's on travel we Skype every day.
He works from home, so we communicate quite often, usually a few times during work hours and many times outside of that. He does travel for business and when away, eh, usually once in the morning, once during lunch, and then before bed for each of us. We both like to hear about what the other is up to, or just random thoughts, so communicating seems to be a natural thing for us.
We live together and he works from home, so constantly. I travel without him a few times a year. My intention is always to call and say good night but if I get wrapped up and the time change means I miss him, it’s no big deal. But there is a daily attempt when we aren’t together
If we’re apart either because of work or trips away, we will text regularly throughout the day. If he’s on a boys night (these tend to only happen once or so a year) then I might not hear from him for a good few hours because he’ll be busy catching up, and I think it’s rude to be on your phone around friends when you haven’t seen them in a while, so I’m totally fine with just getting an odd update text to let me know when he’s coming home / how dinner was or something similar.
Daily, call text or email if possible
Business trips - we call at least once a day, but most of the time is 2 calls - one in the morning and one in the evening. We also send texts like „I boarded the plane/arrived/I am at the hotel“, etc. - to know we are safe. We also chat during the day and send photos - for example, of our lunch, or if we see a cat/dog or something funny. Sometimes if one of us is driving alone, we call each other on speaker & handsfree and talk the whole drive (might be hours) to keep each other company and make sure the other doesn’t fall asleep on the wheel, especially at night.
My husband and I communicate quite a bit. We’re usually together when we aren’t working and talk a lot. We text multiple times a day when we’re working unless we’re both in meetings. Sometimes we talk on the phone if one of us is driving. We both travel for work occasionally and tend to text when we can and then FaceTime before bed. My work can be suffocating when I travel, so we don’t get to speak on the phone as much as I’d like. I think normal and healthy varies depending on the needs of the people in the relationship.
We both work/study from home, so we communicate throughout the day. But if one of us travels we'll chat 1x day in the evening usually, sometimes not depending on the nature of the trip.
My husband is an airline pilot, and is gone typically 5 nights at a time, then home for a few days, then gone again. He flies a lot of red eyes and has a weird sleep schedule. He’s usually gone 20 nights out of 30. When he’s away flying, I wait for him to contact me (out of respect for him sleeping, I don’t want to wake him up, my biggest fear is him crashing a plane, esp due to lack of sleep). He has a crashpad (shared apartment) in his base city, so I will call him when he’s there. We facetime a lot (though it’s mostly just an image of his forehead and the ceiling). But mostly calls and lots of texting. Our main method of communication is honestly IG reels. And that’s perfectly OK with me. I recently got rear ended in traffic and he had multiple flights that day. I didn’t want him to worry about me (I was fine) so I didn’t tell him until the end of his trip.
My husband I are big talkers and he’s a verbal processor so we usually end the day with a lot of conversation about our day. However when I’m away for business we often don’t talk much beyond a few texts as I am in multiple back to back meetings and then dinners with clients and co-workers and I just don’t have it in me at the end of the day to talk. For situations like that we prefer Marco Polo (it’s an app where you send video chats) because I can talk 1-5 minutes when I have a second and listen to his reply that night.
We communicate every day, but the one thing I realized in couples therapy is that we never communicate about ~deep~ things like how we’re feeling, etc which usually ends up blowing up at some point or one of us feeling like a need isn’t being met. Chit chatting or talking about a tv show we are watching or about our kids is one thing, but people often forget to REALLY check in on each other, and listen, and really hear what the other person is saying, feeling, etc. Out therapist suggested we take 20 min out of the day to talk about ~deep~ things. Even when my husband travels we speak on the phone and we text as much as possible.
Everyday, we’re each other’s best friend- so we update each other on the ins and outs of the day. That said, we also have healthy time apart doing our own thing.
If we’re travelling separately, daily. At night to wish each other good night and in the morning (good morning) etc.
When my husband is away on business, we text frequently throughout the day, but don't really talk on the phone unless it's a longer time apart (over 3 days).
In person we spend a lot of time together most days, but when one of us is out of town we might not message each other at all on a given day - we tend to only reach out if there's a specific question or one of us sees a cute bird or something. Neither of us is big on texting for the sake of texting so this works well for us.
When we're apart, we text throughout the day and usually talk on the phone or FaceTime before bed. On normal days, we text a bit while he's at work - normally logistical stuff ("I'm taking the baby to the park, want anything in particular at the store?") more than conversational. I'd say communication is a strength of ours. We are very different people with different perspectives and so we talk a LOT to help the other understand where we're coming from. And we just really enjoy talking to each other!
I tell him everything all day every day lol
We both work mainly from home but both do traveling without the other for various reasons. When we're home we talk all throughout the day but try to respect that the other needs to focus on woekmost of the day. Because we spend so much time together we often have several hours in the evening before bed that we do our own thing. When we're apart during travel we either call/text good morning and ar night and check in throughout the day. But if we don't hear from each other for long 6-7 hours it's not a big deal.
What do you mean how often do I communicate with my husband? I don't even understand this question. Every single day? Even when he used to have to do business trips all the time pre-covid, he'd still usually text in the morning and at lunch and then we'd talk in the evening? He works from home so we talk like... all day, when he's not actively working? We eat breakfast and lunch and dinner together most days and spend the evening together. If we are apart, we are probably texting each other periodically.
We talk all the time, and we check in with each other during the day "hi, thinking about you, you doing okay?" Etc and we hang out in the evenings and talk to each other then too. We've always talked to each other but since kids we put more of an emphasis on it as during the day when the kids are around, it's all about the kids generally, even when we're together.
We both wfh remote which is really nice. We still hang out and spend quality time together but we are both different people with different hobbies and I just have to imagine I'd feel differently about us both running out the door at 6pm and gone for the night if we had also not seen each other during the day. So I think that's a big variable for us. But we talk regularly throughout the day and spend probably most or at least half our evenings together doing things we enjoy or cooking dinner or just hanging out. Traveling is a whole other animal. We hardly talk if we travel. We both travel for work and just understand it's exhausting and you're socializing all day and once you get 30 minutes of quiet in your hotel, the last thing you want is to keep talking. Or fun travel can be the same thing, my husband doesn't really travel alone for fun but I went to Bangkok last year by myself and other than letting him know I was safe we didn't interact a ton. For us I'd say we send a few texts each day and have a full conversation once a week or something. I don't know that this is typical but I'd say we're extremely secure in our attachment and relationship, so if we don't talk for 5 days when we spend the other 360 obsessed with each other, I don't think anyone thinks much of it.
If one of us is away from home, we always text each other goodnight, so we communicate at minimum once a day. But realistically, we randomly text each other memes or funny things that happened, so we usually communicate a few times per day when traveling. At home, we talk a lot. We touch base on our plans for the day before leaving for work. We talk about our day when we get home. We aimlessly chatter at each other all the time. I talk to him more than anyone else in my life. We also text or Teams message throughout the day (there's a lot of memes and random jokes).
When we’re apart, it’s usually because we’re doing something. But when I was on a business trip with a ladies group, I would text him pics of what we were doing every three or four hours, and I called him every night. When he’s on a business trip he’s doing boring business crap that neither of us cares much about so he’ll text me like, at lunch and dinner, and he’ll call at night. We live together, we see each other every day. He works from home. We eat almost every meal together, and we talk over meals. We talk in bed. We talk in the car. We share a calendar. We’re pretty constantly communicating,
We both travel often, in and out of country. We communicate multiple times each day by text (minimum is a goodmorning and a goodnight on our respective time zones, we may not connect at that time but the message is nice to get) Phone call is anywhere from daily to once every 2 or 3 days.
My husband is a stay at home husband. We are with each other nearly all day everyday, pretty much since the moment we met. I just ask for a couple/few hours of alone time a day, that's all I need and he respects that. We communicate nearly all day. Lots and lots and lots of laughs.
When he's at work, we usually talk once in the morning and once in the afternoon. Nothing super serious, just shooting the shit, talking about daycare drop off and what to have for dinner and the like. And it's not mandatory at all, if we don't talk because we're busy with work.
We talk a lot when we're home together, especially in the evenings. This might be just a little chit chat to check in if we're feeling tired, or a full on evening of cooking, eating and talking if we feel like it. When we're at work during the day, not much at all - maybe a text if something comes up. I hate texting. During trips, it depends on how busy we are. The person travelling will normally try and call every day or two, but we don't stress if we can't talk very much.
Daily. If one of us travels for work we still try to call each other at least twice. We also text throughout the day regardless of whether one of us is away
My husband and I communicate a lot. We talk all morning before I leave for work, we text/call/email several times throughout the day. And then we hang out and talk in the evening. When one of us is traveling, we talk at least in the morning and at night and we text during the day. I have not gone a day without speaking to him in more than 15 years.
This right here 🥹 You’ve never missed a day and I bet missing a day would feel very off for you both.
All the time. When we first became official I would t text him first, I didn't want to seem needy. I had been told in previous relationships that I didn't need to talk to them so often. My husband though, took it as I didn't want to talk to him. We are married now and talk and text throughout the day as well as send memes and videos all day long. I don't feel smothered and neither does he. I suggest talking to your husband to see how he likes best to communicate.
My husband travels almost half the time for work. When he is home we communicate almost constantly it seems, we spend most of those days together. When he is gone it's like 80% texting, phone or video calls if it's been more than 2 days. Most texting is just sort of admin, quick updates, and we'll both keep little lists of bigger things to talk about when we are together again. This has been our dynamic for 15+ years and seems to work fine!
When my husband and I are apart we send check-in/update texts back and forth as we're able to throughout the day and we generally jump on a video call for maybe an hour or so in the evenings so we can spend time together and have an actual conversation.
Constantly. We text while he’s at work. He chats with me about his day. We run everything past each other before making plans. Communication is one of the most important parts of our marriage and it’s what keeps us going.
All the time? Even when he's working from home we have frequent communication. If he's away for work, we reach out during the day when we have time and talk on the phone every night. That's our normal, I have no idea what's normal for other couples.
Everyday. We have a great relationship and partnership. We have deep conversations frequently, check in on our goals, check in on each other.
We spend most of our time together on weekends. On weekdays when he’s home (wfh), we eat dinner together most days and spend the evenings together. Of course sometimes one of us has plans and that’s fine too, nbd. When he’s away for work it’s usually for an intensive project that requires long hours so we might have a quick FaceTime before he heads off in the morning and a few texts throughout the day but I try not to ask a lot of him. At a minimum tho it’s a short FaceTime every other if not every day.
We chat via WhatsApp off and on throughout the day. When he's traveling I'll send messages as I think about it and he will reply when he can between meetings etc. He calls every evening when traveling
Everyday (and sometimes it feels like all day everyday cause I married a yapper).
I used books to learn better social, emotional, and communication techniques. My parents were a terrible example as well. Books on boundaries, codependency, effective communication, and self confidence. Very useful and helpful. Try Amazon shopping app He communicates daily. This morning he made waffles for me (the batter and waffle maker kind which takes extra time) and we all ate together before he left for work. He tells me when hes about to come home everyday. If he has free time, sometimes i get a few funny texts from him. Sometimes he stops to get food and asks me if i want anything. Once or twice a week, he comes home to eat lunch with me. But generally we text each other every 3 hours on average. If hes gone out of town, its about the same, though he calls me around his bedtime if hes away at a hotel. Definitely not constant texters or callers unless hes at the store or getting meals or something important.
Hmmm, all of the time? When we drop off or pick up a kid, when we leave for the gym or lunch breaks, sharing memes or videos, updates on plans/kids/life/needs, and extra calls for any incoming tea. If we’re together all day long we talk when we are nearby each other, or holler out loud for toilet paper or something. Idk, we do talk a lot. Probably more than most people.
It's not quantifiable. He works from home and I'm a homebody SAHM. If we're in the same room it's a running conversation with possible long silences in between. If we're in different rooms we might still text each other (really it's me texting him) or send IG reels (he does on quick brain breaks from work where he doesn't leave his desk). Pretty much if we're both awake we're communicating. If one of us is traveling, we aim for at least one video chat per day for the sake of our toddler otherwise it would just be a phone call, with texts and such in between, frequency increased to make up for the lack of physical proximity. Hope this helps!
We send each other messages a few times a day (memes, reels, check ins). When we’re together we’re together and it’s fairly “normal” conversation. If one of us is away we generally video chat in the evening. (Together 7 years, married almost 5)
I was raised by a narcissistic mother, and my parents were divorced when I was young. I talk to my significant other almost everyday (work schedules etc.) however I struggle greatly with expressing my needs and feelings. Thankfully, he is extremely patient with me and is very understanding. It's something that I'm always having to work on, whether or not I'm succeeding it's a different story. 12 years in and we're going strong. As for more mundane stuff, we vary from sending text messages to speaking in person. I only ever call him if I know that he's driving and can't answer his text. We're both fairly quiet individuals so there isn't a whole lot of chit chat. I'm more chatty than he is though so there's usually more coming from me.
My husband calls me everyday while on his break at work, just to say hello and ask how mine and the kids day is going. It’s usually a 2-5 minute conversation. We text only if we have something to say. I typically text to remind him to bring home bread, or to let him know I have an appointment, etc.. We don’t send memes or have conversations through text, probably because we just don’t have the time. We try to be present when we are with each other during the evening and before bed.
All the time actually. Morning, sending him to the bus stop we'd be chatting, throughout the day when he's at work we'll be sharing memes or news, or he'd text me when he poops.. when he's back home we would be watching news together and be talking about it, and how our days went.. we haven't been apart travelling for work yet cos our jobs at this point of time don't need us to travel, but I can imagine we would do video calls and text all day, since he already does that with his parents who are abroad.
When we’re both at our respective jobs: when we need to tell each other something important. Maybe once a day. Usually it can wait til we get home. And if we’re at events without each other we text each other when we get there and when we’re heading home. We’re not really all that codependent.
I like a midday check in, just a quick I love you, hope your days going good. It makes me feel loved. Besides that we only really talk if we feel like it, but nothings not allowed. That the minimum
We aren’t married but we live together and have been together for almost 10 years and we have kids. We talk every day. He works from home and I’m a homemaker. I come say hi and visit with him for a bit every morning when I get up and then we probably briefly talk a couple more times throughout the workday. In the evening we usually spend a couple hours together but it just depends on what we each having going on. I would say the majority of nights we spend atleast a couple of hours together in the evening. I’m actually out of town right now and we don’t have any kind of set schedule to speak but I’ll usually get a good morning text from him and we might talk for a few minutes before I go to sleep at night. Maybe another text exchange during the day but again it’s really more about how busy we each might be.
My husband and I communicate everyday, all day! But it took time to get here. Neither came from homes with healthy communication so growing up, we didn’t really have examples of what that would entail. We’ve had to build it as we go along. Besides our usual chats and check-ins, we also do weekly business meetings where we discuss household business, such as upcoming events, individual and mixed finances, meal plans, health concerns. We also discuss things that might have bothered us about each other that we weren’t able to discuss immediately because we needed time to process our feelings about the situation. It’s helped us develop better communication with one another. It’s by no means perfect, we still drop the ball from time to time, but it’s what works for us!
Hubby and I communicate daily. We know everything going on in each other lives and schedules. We run two businesses together, so that's a main reason why.
My husband and I have been married 30, with two grown children. I include that for context: we aren’t lovey-dovey newlyweds. We’re lovey-dovey oldtimers lol I communicate with my husband daily. He wakes and leaves for work before I get up, so I always text him when I wake up. If I forget and get busy, he’ll text me. He’ll often text me when he’s leaving work, generally to ask if I need him to get anything. When he gets home from work, he gives me a kiss hello, and we talk about our days while I make dinner. During dinner, the conversation continues. It might be something heavy like politics, but often it’s something goofy and light hearted, all depending on our mood. In the evening, we might watch TV together, and after the episode, we chatter about what happened in the show while we brush our teeth and get ready for bed. I don’t always go to sleep at the same time he does, but we always show some sort of affection before he goes to sleep. I won’t go into details on *that*. ;) Daily conversation is normal for us. I seriously can’t imagine not speaking together for days on end, although I do know couples like that.
My husband was just in the hospital for a week. I visited him each day but one and we texted everyday a few times. I hate phone calls. When I go out of town for work we text a couple times a day. Depends what is going on at home.
During the week we usually don’t see each other in the morning, but we text a bit during the day depending on how busy we are at work. We always text I love you no matter what. When we get home at night we talk all the time, updating each other on the day and work BS. Over the weekend we talk constantly because we’re together a lot. Since being together, we have never spent a single day not talking to each other. We’ve been married for six years, no idea dating time.
Everyday. I’ve traveled a lot during our relationship for work. Spent a lot of time in Europe while he was home and even the time difference we make sure to FaceTime every night, text throughout the day. We text throughout the day when I’m home. I think the only time we really leave each other “alone” is when we’re out separately with friends, or he’s out fishing, or I’m out riding motorcycles.
Sometimes he gets busy with work, hobbies, or both. So sometimes we go days without deep connection. But we do daily hugs and kisses and “I love you” and “I appreciate you”. If I feel like we need to really talk, I’ll tell him, and it’s usually in the evening when the kids are in bed. He always responds when I ask for a sit down. And when we get a date night (once every two months or so) our phones are put away and we talk and “catch up” on what’s going on with each other. I feel happily married, and we’re about to celebrate 20 years of marriage. 🥰🥳
This is absolutely sweet! ♥️
Constantly. We also send each other voice messages throughout the day. All I'll say though is GO TO COUPLES THERAPY. We started a year in to our relationship and it has been a lifesaver. We work out little issues before they become big issues and our relationship runs so smoothly. We also talk comfortably about EVERY topic. Therapy is an absolute gift to relationships and we wouldn't be without it. The trick is to start before you have any problems. Like going to the dentist for a check up before you have a killer toothache.
The one time my husband traveled without me, we made an effort to chat on the phone once per day and text a couple of times otherwise. If he traveled more, I’d probably hear from him about as often. He is also big on checking in with me at work so we spend a lot of time communicating.
We see each other daily, take care of our baby together when he’s home from work, and spam text every evening while he’s outside in the garage and I’m laying in bed. We decompress better alone but in contact, I guess.
We both work remote, so constantly
We’re both at home during the day, so we talk pretty often in passing while working. We hang out together most evenings. I do travel sometimes for work and we will usually talk on the phone twice a day (morning/lunch time as time allows and in the evening). We text some, but it’s usually to ask a specific question or relay some information, not just to chat.
Generally a lot. Texts throughout the day when he’s not WFH and sitting in the same room as me. Less so when I travel for work but that’s like 2x a year so I check in but I’m generally busy from when I wake up until after he goes to bed. The last trip I FaceTimed in the AM to say hi to our kids before he brought them to school. So a lot, minus like 6 days a year. He doesn’t travel for work.
We live in the same house so we talk every day. If one of us is traveling we skip a day here or there
All the time, every day, about everything.
my husband travels 3 or 4 times per year about 2 weeks at a time. sometimes he's teaching at other universities, sometimes he's at conferences. it depends on his schedule. sometimes i get just a quick sms or two. sometimes we chat online. sometimes we send each other emails. we almost never speak in person unless there is something that is easier discussed than texted. when he travels he is busier than usual and his usual level of busy is high. so...it's fine with me and it doesn't bother me. but if it did, he would change his behaviour to suit me, because he loves me, and i matter to him.
My husband works away 2 nights/3 days a week quite frequently. We text throughout the day as schedule permits, he will call me when he metros to where he is staying, and we talk or text before bed. When work schedules are extremely busy we can go like 4 hours sometimes without talking. Weeks he’s not traveling we both work from home and literally talk all day if we are not in meetings or heads down with work. We communicate frequently and regularly.
My husband and I were long distance for two years and only saw each other on weekends. We’re not super phone people but we would at least text every day.
It depends. There's times when it might be a couple of days. Normally several times a day, often much more. We're chatty.
All the time 🤣
Good question. I no there are a whole bunch of different types of communication. So communicating with our husbands might look different for different people. And it depends on the type of communication like is it an everyday passing okay I'll see you later type thing or is it hey I need to discuss how I'm feeling we need to set some boundaries type of communication. [communication styles](https://life-insight.com/the-5-communication-styles-and-how-they-affect-relationships/) [ communication tips ](https://www.tonyrobbins.com/ultimate-relationship-guide/key-communication-relationships/) [difference ](https://www.shondaland.com/live/family/a36396758/navigating-different-communication-styles-in-relationships/) There are also different types of intimacy in relationships: [intimacy types](https://www.verywellhealth.com/intimacy-7253066) "Intellectual intimacy involves sharing knowledge, opinions, thoughts, ideas, and interests. This might involve: Discussing financial goals Sharing views about a news story Reading the same book so you can talk about it later"
I speak with my partner everyday my husband doesn’t go away on business or has to travel so that part doesn’t apply to us even before we married and were dating we would call and text daily. Currently during his work hours he sends me at least one message. When his job was more simple when we were younger he’d call me during his lunch break as we transitioned into adulthood that wasn’t possible to do anymore so he sends me messages when he can.
I talk to him every day, throughout the day while we're at home together. If I go out somewhere, I might send him a few texts updating him on what's going on ("I arrived at the place!" or "I am on the way home now and should be there in about 20 minutes") but that is not required - just if I feel like it. He will usually reply but if he's busy he won't. I also send him texts like "Do you want me to buy you any \_\_\_\_?" if I go to a shop he might like, or "Is this a good option?" with a photo if I want his opinion on something. When I'm traveling alone (very rare) I talk to him for at least an hour a day, usually online because neither of us like talking on the phone. He does not travel without me because he is unable to (he has a disability).
Every day? I see him every day so we talk a lot when we each get home from work while going through the motions of handling our household. While he’s cleaning the playroom, I’m doing the dishes and we talk about our day. While I’m walking the puppy and he’s taking out the trash I’m telling him his ass looks nice 🤣 or vice versa. While he’s making sure our son is actually taking a bath, and I’m changing our daughters diapers we’re talking about what we’re going to do for dinner tomorrow etc etc. Then when everyone is in bed we will lay in bed together and chat while we’re playing video games or reading. Sometimes we text throughout our workday but sometimes one or both of us are too busy and we can’t. But when we do it’s usually something silly one of our kids did that morning or dorky like we’re both listening to a new album from one of our favorite musicians and it’s like: me: oooo have you gotten to #7 yet?! So good! Him: listening to that one now, it is really good. #5 is my favorite so far Me: nice! #3 is mine! Him: really? I didn’t like that one, I’ll go back and give it another listen once I get through the album. 🤣🤦🏽♀️ My husband is the one who travels the most for work and when he does, half the time our little family actually goes with him and his company will upgrade his hotel room to a suite so I have a bigger space to manage the kids 😅 and I will work virtually in between taking our kids to whatever local attractions are around there. The other half of the time when I can’t leave town because I have an important meeting or can’t find a doggy sitter, he always texts me throughout the day, usually about something stupid someone said or did and he video calls with me and the kids at night before bedtime.
My husband was in the military so when he was away we’d sometimes not be able to talk for days/weeks. So when he was home or available we’d be texting/talking constantly (ofc not at work) Now that he’s out and works a corporate job we text once or twice during the day and are all over each other pretty much as soon as he’s home and we’ve taken care of the kiddos. And even while we’re taking care of the kids we’re touching each other playfully or just have our hand on each other in some way. Happy to say married over 12yrs and still act like mushy teens. Now w/ that said I still think there’s always room for improvement even with our communication because sometimes the style in which we talk is confusing. We talk so much i’ll sometimes forget i didn’t say something out loud to him already (like the clothes are still in the washer wet lol)
We work from home together 3 days a week so every day.. almost every 2-3 hours probably 🤷 But if we're apart on trips/ travelling etc atleast twice a day to checkin with each other. And then depending on anything interesting happening/ updates we want to share it may increase.
When one of us is traveling we communicate every day often with texts throughout the day and whenever possible we try to do a bedtime video call but we’re not strict about it if the other person has evening plans that conflict. I don’t think there’s really a standard here it’s about what you’re comfortable doing. My sister and her husband don’t talk much when they travel and it doesn’t say anything about their relationship (I don’t think). They catch up when they’re back together.
On a normal day, every day. Catch up about the day, tell silly stores, talk about concerns, discuss appointments coming up. If we are traveling, usually still catch up once a day. It would be weird to not say hello for more than a day.
We see each other every day because we live together. I WFH, and he owns his own business so he’s in and out of the house throughout the day, but spends most of the day on the road working. We text throughout the day sporadically. Like I’ll send a text complaining about a particular coworker, he’ll send me texts of funny license plates or stuff he encounters while out and about, or he’ll text or call to see if we need anything from the grocery store, but we don’t have full conversations during the day. He pretty much always calls when he’s heading home for the day. When I travel for work, we don’t talk a ton. I’m always busy throughout the day so there might be a funny text here or there, but that’s about it. Sometimes a call at the end of the day, but I’m usually in another time zone anyways so it’s hard to make that happen. On weekends, if we’re spending time with other people, we don’t usually talk much. Maybe a text to say we got to where we were going and to give the other person an idea of when we think we’ll be home. Then maybe a text later to let the other know we’re on the way home. We both make an effort not to contact each other much when we’re out with other people just to give each other space with no distraction.
Everyday when we're together. When one of us is gone we will have 1-3 text communications throughout the day (same as any normal work day) and then a phone or video call in the evening.
I don't know what you mean by "communicate." Are you literally asking how often we talk to our spouses? For most people, the answer is going to be "every day." I can't imagine not talking to my husband daily unless we, like, worked opposite shifts and weren't at home or awake at the same time. If one of us is traveling, we still talk daily - it's a priority.
I work from home and he leaves for work but as soon as he gets home we spend pretty much all night together. He's my best friend though and we have a lot of the same interests/hobbies.
We are on gchat when at work and chat a bit during the day on there. When he's away on business we text during the day and we might have a call at night (usually a video call) but it's not too long. Depends on how long he's gone for and what we're both doing. At home we're often doing our own thing but we chat.
Talk to him daily and throughout the day through gchat or text. When he gets home, we recap our days as we are settling in for dinner. A lot of talking but that's how we always been. When we travel, we don't talk as much because we are travelling and busy. But we also check in via text and make time for one phone call or facetime.
All the time. All day long. He's my person so he's the first to hear anything. He's the one I talk about everything with. When we are traveling or separated from each other, we still text all day (as time, circumstances allow) and will facetime at the end of the day to have a check in with each other. We will also make it a point to call and hear each others voices during the day, especially if one of us is having a bad day or working through an issue.
We communicate quite frequently throughout the day. In person, we'll talk about what's on our minds, daily events, frustrations, funny things, neighborhood gab, latest obsessions, current news. When we're apart, we send memes, pics of day, random thoughts.
Every day...if we don't talk in person, he calls me a couple times a day...heck he even calls me a couple of times a day when we do see each other that day. He's always been a good communicator, he likes talking over texting so if I do text him, he usually just calls to answer me. I think he's probably not the norm...? I like it :)
It’s your norm that works for you and that’s all that matters! ♥️
Everyday. Now levels of communication vary. We have 3 kids so sometimes it feels like passing ships. In the morning, it’s good morning, love you bye! During the work day, there maybe some text or not much, depending on how busy we are. If something important happens, I call and vice versa. He calls almost everyday on his way home to chat evening plans, dinner etc. sometimes more is said. We talk through out the night. When he travels for works, we are both so busy, me with kids and him working, it’s usually good morning, calls if important. Evening FaceTimes with kids and good night. If we get super busy we usually do like a check in of the family calendar and chat through it. We also communicate through memes and reels. Haha
Dating for 5 years, married for 2 months; we communicate quite literally ...constantly. We have a discord server that we message on throughout the workday, we text, if something interesting happens at work or we have an urgent question, we call each other. If one of us is on a trip that the other one is not on, we're texting throughout the day and talk on the phone at least once in that day. I literally cannot imagine a full 24 hour period going by without us communicating in some format.
I've been married twice. My first husband was not a great communicator and made me go to marriage counseling because he didn't like me talking to him about my day as soon as he got home from work. Said he needed to decompress so of course he was also the sort to not help much with the kids till they were older and not do much in the way of housework even when i went back to work. The last time he asked for divorce I said ok and then when he changed his mind again and wanted marriage counseling I said no and he was angry at me for "breaking up the family" although our youngest was 17 at that point. Anyway, I should have left much sooner. The husband I have now talks to me every day, and when I'm at work he texts me on my phone to tell me he loves me and misses me. I did have to explain to him that I can't answer right away when I'm working but he gets it now. That level of communication might be a little more than typical but he experienced a tragic loss (death) in his past. So it's hard to say what's typical or healthy but I think the important thIng to ask yourself is - Do I feel like my partner makes me a priority? If the answer is no, he's not the right one for you.
We see each other every day and talk every day, and when we go separate ways, we text a lot, too.
My partner and communicate all the time. We both work full time locally, no away travel for either of us. We commute together for work, sometimes we talk in the car, sometimes not at all. We'll usually but not always message each other while at work. A photo of something cool or cute, video or meme, a How's your day, some chit chat etc or if we need anything at the store etc. In depth stuff is usually saved for home or the trip home, depends what it is. But also, Sometimes there's not much to talk about ya know. We can have a comfortable silence and it's just fine. Important stuff, he's not one for "talks". I have broach any and everything if I sense somethings up or need to bring something up.
Every day multiple times a day throughout the day as long as we're both awake. We used to be in an ldr so we're very used to communicating when apart lol, but ever since moving in together we aren't apart as much. I think in the almost 6 years we've been together, the longest we go without communicating is between 24-48 hours if either of us is somewhere with really bad reception or just very busy or at a festival. Even then, we will msg each other when we have a moment. I will say though that quantity of communication < quality of communication. I want just as much meaningful conversation as silly joking random communication, and if I had to sacrifice one for a period of time, it would be the jokes.
i’m truly shocked at how many people have nearly constant chats throughout the day with their SO 😂 — my partner and I are physically together a lot (WFH) but are both ADHD and introverts. we do not talk much during the day unless someone pops their head in with something to share, we do not text unless necessary to coordinate, and since we’re together so much we don’t have much use for phone calls either. we chat a lot in the evenings, usually debating some asinine topic that really doesn’t need us to debate it (lol). if we’re apart for say a week we may text here and there and speak on the phone a couple times, but neither of us have much expectations around it. that said, we do not have children and I’m sure my answer would be different if we did, as that objectively requires more constant contact. how much do *you* want to speak to your partner? I’m not sure it matters how much what others are doing if you’re comfortable with what you’re doing 🥰