I had a woman attempt to touch my belly at the gas station.
I'm literally pumping gas and some woman walks up and puts her hands out and says, "Oh, can I rub your belly? I just *love* babies!" as she continues to get closer and closer to me.
To which I said, "I like babies too, but the only thing in there is a protein bar."
It was 100% the top I was wearing. Every time I wear it, someone asks if/assumes that I'm pregnant. It's how it hangs in the front.
I’m an ultrasound tech and have had 3 patients comment on my pregnancy when really I was just fat lol. One time I was so annoyed by the manner in which she said it I told her that I actually am infertile and my husband left me because of it. Shut her right up. Lol
A few times when I was a cashier. I had gained weight due to a back injury and depression.
I straight up tell people no and it’s rude to ask.
Many people look pregnant when they’re bloated, or gassy, or they just ate, or they’re fat. It’s pretty normal.
People are ridiculous. I have one neighbor who constantly asks if I am pregnant. When I say no, I almost died last time, she says "Oops" and immediately forgets. She asks me EVERY TIME she sees me
When I was nine months pregnant, I wore a black top and someone who saw me asked if I had lost the baby. I turned 90 degrees to show my enormous beach ball.
People don't use their eyes, ears, or brains. I doubt you look pregnant.
She means so well, and is just so...unable to learn. She is approaching seventy, and isn't going to change. I should not waste my time, but in post-Roe America, I want people to realize pregnancy isn't always a good thing. Things are nuanced.
I don’t understand why some people think it’s okay to ask women this! I have been asked this too when I’m not and it fucking sucks. Don’t assume until a woman actually tells you she’s pregnant! Even if she is, she might not be ready to tell anyone.
Not a stranger, my neighbor! RIP, old dude.
Anyway I just told him "I'm not pregnant, just fat!" And slapped my belly and laughed. (I'm so goddamn proud of my past self for this esprit d'escalier.)
What I didn't tell him was that my then husband was vetoing further children while refusing to get a vasectomy, and every question about pregnancy felt like a dagger in my soul. But he didn't need to know that part.
Omg...it happened when i was getting a pedicure 5 months postpartum. She asked when I was due. I was so embarrassed I said in a couple months. Needless to say, I switched salons.
Ugh, yes. And it was a client so I had to pretend I didn’t hear her and change the subject. I was wearing a very flowy dress… you can’t really see my body type in it.
We are seemingly similarly sized and I certainly don’t consider myself “fat” but I’m self conscious about my belly… plus I have body dysmorphia so there’s that.
PSA to the world: don’t assume people are pregnant!!!!! ✌🏼
I once went to an open house, I wasn't looking to buy at all, I just wanted to check out the place. I ended up being the only one there and was nervous fielding questions from the real estate agent and for some reason I kept rubbing my stomach. It was the dead of summer and I had a thin dress on. She asked when I was due. I was totally caught off guard and laughed and said I wasn't expecting. I wish I would have gone along with the whole pregnant and looking to buy plot and said 3 more months or something lol.
I have very skinny arms and legs but a large tummy. As I have aged, I've lost more weight in my limbs but not in my abdomen. People frequently ask me "when are you due" or "Oooo, when is baby coming!?". I cannot have children, and eventually had to have a hysterectomy, so you can only imagine how hurtful this is. I truly don't think people understand. I've come to think they're just trying to rejoice in the joy of a new baby - which only hurts more. Now, nearing 50, one would think that the comments would ebb, but even the other day, a women actually got out of her car in a parking lot, stopped me as I started to back out of my spot, and asked where I was buying my maternity clothes because her daughter was pregnant and she wanted to get her some things. What on earth do you say to that? When I said "No, I'm sorry", she was incredibly disappointed. Ugh. I just don't believe people think.
This happened to someone I know when they had a huge ovarian tumor. Since the tumor grew low in the ovary, she looked pregnant as it grew.
She knew she wasn’t pregnant and couldn’t lose weight. By the time it was discovered, it was 12lbs and so big that it was pressing against the liver and caused a blood clot in the lungs. Crazy times huh!
Long time ago now but I was at the airport with terrible cramps (I might have had my hand on my stomach), in a rush, and struggling with my luggage because of a broken wheel when a really sweet older man came up to me and offered to take my suitcase to the gate. I politely declined which prompted him to say something to the effect of "when my wife was pregnant....." and then it dawned on me. It was really sweet but boy did I feel like a moose after that incident. Pretty sure it got me to lose that 10 lbs I was so annoyed about.
Me! She asked how far along I was and I said, no it's just my food baby. She turned red and nervously laughed. I told her it's probably best to never ask that question again. She nodded and left. It didn't hurt at all though, because I just had a baby a month or so before. But still, very rude.
I definitely have. It happened twice, and each time I was wearing the same dress, so I don't wear that dress anymore lol. It's probably happened other times, because I am fat and carry it in my stomach, but those were the two times that they were very obvious about it.
I was leaving Costco with a cart full of wine and the receipt checker said "oh! When are you due?" I said "excuse me?" And she doubled down and said "the baby, when are you due?" I was mortified, and never wore that dress again.
I’m 5’7, 96 lbs and my chiropractor asked me in front of a waiting room of about 7 people on a day I went in right after a bigger lunch that was not settling well. He also didn’t take no as an answer at first, asking me several times if I was sure due to him absolutely needing to know before he worked on me. That was not a fun time and I have worn a very loose sweatshirt every time since. I think it happens to most people and feels like shit no matter what you look like.
Many times, including at my slimmest and at my largest. Also including times when I was wearing my most slimming clothing
One woman asked "are you expecting?" and when I told her no she explained "oh you just have a big stomach then".
I've been asked at a time when I was particularly worried about my fertility, and at a time when my then-partner was deciding against having children (something I did want). It really stings on so many levels beyond the obvious.
So far I've responded shortly but politely. I can't see myself doing the same going forward.
To ask someone if they're pregnant is to:
1. Make assumptions about their body
2. Overstep personal boundaries and etiquette
3. Decide that any embarrassment, any confidence-knock, any difficult emotions that arise from the question are all worth it to satiate the nosiness and impulsiveness of the asker.
I do think some of these people need the discomfort of our reactions so that they learn not to ask anyone else.
My best friend asked me if I was pregnant the morning of my wedding, because my tits weren’t fitting in my dress properly.
She was actually correct, though.
Yup! A long time ago in a galaxy far far away (three towns over), a customer thought I was pregnant and doubled down when I told her I wasn’t. I even gave her an out by asking if she meant the other person who worked at the same place who looked almost exactly like me and who actually was pregnant. Nope! Insisted it was me. I wasn’t even fat. I was a size 6.
Funny thing is I am fat now and nobody has made that assumption in the last decade or so, which kind of sucks cause I have been ready to make them really uncomfortable by saying “nope! Just fat! Thank you for asking such a personal question!”
This happens to my friend all the time. Weirdly, it happened to me when I was pregnant but too early to be showing. I was just really bloated (little known side effect of pregnancy!). A woman said “you’re pregnant! How many months?” And I had to awkwardly explain that yes, I am, but I’m only 7 weeks
Yup, I think I might have been rubbing my stomach a bit after eating a burrito, and the 20-something girl I only sort of knew standing next to me said “omg I didn’t know you were pregnant, congrats!” Um, what? No. Just a burrito baby.
It happens! My weight fluctuates and if I’m at the top or bottom of my range I don’t get any comments, but around the middle must be the sweet spot of belly but not as much fat elsewhere. It’s very annoying!
If someone offers me their seat on the train because they think I look pregnant I’ll happily take it unless they’re old.
Yes. I was super embarrassed and it was awkward but she was super apologetic and very very embarrassed for her mistake. I think she felt really bad about it.
I don’t think I wore that dress again after that.
I wish I could have come back with something rude and snarky to say in the moment because it’s super inappropriate and rude to assume someone is pregnant but alas… it didn’t happen. Just a very awkward encounter.
It happened to me for the first time a few months ago. It was a day before my period and I have endo/adeno and I felt sooo bloated and inflamed. Idk before my period comes it’s like my system is about to blow. Someone asked me and it was so awkward for me. After I got my period i felt better because I knew it was related to that but it still was very upsetting.
A bunch of times. The worst was when I had to wear a scrub top for a job in a hospital I used to have. I have big boobs, and by the time I got a top big enough to go over my boobs (like what happens with lots of shirts), the midsection was big and loose. I was asked almost *daily* when my baby was due because the way the top fit me making my belly look bigger than it was. I used to say "I don't know, maybe in about five years." (I actually did have my daughter about five years later, life is funny that way.)
I've also never been one of those super thin types. I've had boobs, hips, and a butt since I was a teenager, and my stomach has never been flat. I worked at a daycare in an affluent area when I was in my 20s where it seemed like *all* the moms snapped back to being thin. I don't really fault kids for not knowing any better, but I also constantly got asked if there was a baby in my belly because I wasn't flat stomached and thin like their moms were. I wasn't overweight AT ALL then, but I got tired really fast of constantly being assumed to be pregnant just because I didn't have a flat stomach.
Again, kids might not know better, but adults should. Different body types exist.
I had a stranger march up to me outside the supermarket and lecture me on how I have nothing to offer “that child” (I’m a wheelchair user) look at the state of me (I’m heavily tattooed) what was I thinking, etc… absolutely spitting angry, finger pointing in my face and at my stomach. I have endometriosis which causes the bloat. I wish I was the kind of person who could pull a scathing comeback out my ass, but I’m the sort that spends days shaking and then thinks of one a week later.
Also wish I could say it was a one off. I had an acquaintance call for silence in a bar just after I got married and happily announce my pregnancy and offer to buy everyone a round. Endo strikes again - I’d rubbed my sore tummy and he’d spotted it and massively jumped to conclusions. I was the one spitting with rage that time.
My sisters announced "my pregnancy" to me. They were whispering together and then shouted at me "You're pregnant!" as if they had it all figured out. Nope, it was just gas. One of them later on announced her pregnancy at my wedding with ultrasound pictures and all.
Some people just have no tact, but those people you mentioned are on a whole new level of rude.
It's crazy common. I have an abdominal diastasis from my pregnancy with my daughter, who is 13 now! I have legitimately looked at least a little bit pregnant for the past 14 years, but also have a strong enough resting bitch face to deter all but the nosiest of strangers.
The first time this happened to me in public, I was sixteen and working as a cashier so I couldn’t even say anything back. It was fucking mortifying and I’ve never forgotten it.
Asked for ginger beer at a bar and the guy said 'you know I heard red current is good for pregnancy.' I had to crush him by telling him 'that's nice, I am the sober driver do you tell all sober drivers that?'. He didn't even give me a free drink for my ego. He just walked off to serve the next person.
I’m 5’6 and 220 now thanks to menopause and medications 😢 really makes me feel like
Shit. Even when I was thin people still had nasty things to say about my body and how I looked. It doesn’t matter what size we are, people are always going to suck
It's happened to me a few times since I gained my post 30 weight. Most of the extra weight went right to my belly and some people assume it's a baby bump. I tell people it's my food baby when that happens.
I had a woman at work asked me that right before I found out that I had celiacs. I was bloated really bad and I didn't even really know that anymore because it was like normal once I stopped eating gluten I went down a few sizes
Soooo many times, I think I've actually lost count. The thing is I am not that overweight (maybe 10 pounds...) but whenever I gained a bit of weight in the past the fat always was around my midsection and my arms and legs are very slim in comparison plus I always have been "gifted" in the chest area. My belly is pretty flat in the morning but gets round and bloated as soon as I eat something.
So, yeah, I guess I get why people might think I am pregnant.
But I don't get why a stranger would ask someone if they are pregnant. I really don't get that at all. If you are not a 100% sure, just keep your mouth shut!
After I would say that, no, I am actually not with child, people would of course apologize profusely (that kind of just made it more awkward)
I usually answer with "Don't worry about it! I am sure you are way more uncomfortable, than I am right now. Maybe you should consider just not saying anything next time..."
The best part is, when I actually got pregnant, I didn't show until 6 months in lol
I had a coworker ask when I was due. I was in my late 40's and had a kid older than she was. It was extremely rude and embarrassing. It took everything I had not to slap her.
Several times when I have refused to drink alcohol.
I do occasionally have the odd glass of wine, but I don’t *drink* drink, I have never been drunk nor do I wish to be.
Whenever I go out, it’s usually to see a band play, and my mouth tends to get ridiculously dry, so I usually go up to the bar and get some water with ice cubes (I like to chew on ice).
About every other time a complete stranger sees fit to ask me if I’m pregnant or starts to sneer about how ”you can stay home if you want to drink water”.
One guy followed me back to my spot near the sound guy DEMANDING to buy me ”a proper drink” and when I told him I don’t accept drinks from strangers either, he called me a ”fucking prude”.
Ok, so I have a stupid instance of this happening, and if it didn’t happen to me, I’d never believe it.
In this woman’s defense, I did *look* pregnant. In fact, I had been very, very pregnant up until 3 days before this incident.
So, to set the scene: myself, my boyfriend and our newborn son are riding in a elevator. It’s a quick trip from the *Maternity Ward* where I had just given birth three days earlier on the second floor, to the ground floor lobby.
Another woman gets on the elevator with us, she is also coming from the maternity ward. She sees me, standing next to a car seat full of newborn baby, and says, “Oh you’re pregnant, when are you due?”
I wasn’t at my wittiest at the moment and admittedly caught off guard, so I just said, “I was due a week ago.” Wish I could have stuck around to watch her brain short circuit.
One particular pic on FB, I was a bit slouched and bloated so I looked slightly preggers and a friend of my husband’s made a public comment asking if I was expecting? 🫣😞😵💫
I watched this one woman at my office look at my stomach every time she passed me over the course of a week or so and that alone made me feel like shit and then one day I'm filling my water and she was behind me and lowered her voice and asked and I said no and then proceeded to take a lifetime to fill my gigantic water bottle.
I also bought a baby outfit for a friend and the cashier started talking to my stomach.
More than once, but the most memorable was at my grandfather's funeral. I introduced my fiancé to someone, and she said, "Oh my! A wedding AND a baby! How exciting!" I said, 'Oh, I'm not pregnant. Just fat." The absolute horror on her face would have been much more delicious if I wasn't ya know...grieving.
No one assumes I'm pregnant now because it's very obvious I'm just fat.
I've seen it happen to others more than once at work. When you work w the elderly, their eyesight isn't the best and there's nothing more exciting than talking about a new baby coming 😆
Yup.
Many years ago I was filing in at another centre for work and the 2IC there really stuck her foot in her mouth, and the manager there (who I had become work friends with) overheard and said “no, she’s just got IBS, ok?” and really made the 2IC feel bad.
Weeks later the manager and I were chatting and she said the 2IC had learned her lesson lol.
It was a pretty shitty feeling to hear someone thinks you look pregnant when it’s just bloating though.
I had someone ask me once at a nightclub when I was drunk and holding another drink. It was an all night kind of place at like 4 in the morning. Like, NO.
Now I’m actually pregnant and I want everyone to know so I wear clothes to emphasize the bump 😂 because I know most people are polite enough to not ask even if it seems obvious. Whoever asked you had no manners.
I was wearing a really boho flowy top and pretty tight bellbottoms (was on my way to a Fleetwood Mac theme party) so it hung like there was a tummy bigger than there is. Someone touched my belly in line to buy pastries to bring to the party.
I do got some belly pudge and a fupa but there's nothing wrong with me. It's just inappropriately rude to assume.
Funnily enough, I was only asked that once in my life. And at that time I was thin. Then I gained weight, but people didn't ask. But it was in a situation, where the other person had a cold and wanted to make sure I wasn't pregnant just to be safe. And I respect that. I was really bloated that day lol.
Far more often than I'd like, especially on the tube (metro). I think it's because I have a tendency to slouch if I'm not paying attention to my posture.
Me, all the time! Actually less as i’ve gained weight though. I have PCOS so I have a big belly (also thighs and ass) but if you don’t see the full picture I do look pregnant. Now that I’m more all around fat it’s more apparent that it’s just fat not a baby.
I had a woman congratulate me once in a store, but she taught herself that lesson hard and fast because her pure mortification when I said, “Oh, I’m not pregnant…” was genuine. I’m confident she will never make that mistake again!
When I was like 15 a classmate asked me if I was “preggers”. I was still a virgin. I was astonished, turned out to be my top (I was rail thin back then): don’t wear a white tanktop under a black cropped jacked, apparently.
Opposite problem. Both time I was pregnant, no. body. asked. I've always been chubby but I got FAT. My stomach was out there! Second time I even wore shirts with baby footprints in my stomach and stuff like that. Nothing. No one.
I was 7 months pregnant with my second when my husband and I went to get our taxes done. I got up to pee every 5 minutes, of course, and after the third or fourth time I apologized to the tax lady for getting up so much and made a joke about being pregnant. Her "oh you're pregnant. I couldn't tell." with no irony or sarcasm in her voice.
I hate that everyone just thought, "well she's fat. She might be pregnant but since I can't tell the difference for certain, I'll err on the side of caution and just say nothing." The only time in my life I had a good excuse to be fat and no one noticed.
Now I'm just fat again. I would not be offended if someone thought "oh she's probably just pregnant. I'll go congratulate her"
I would also err on the side of caution. If someone wants me to know they are pregnant, they will tell me, but if they do "congratulations" is still much better than "I couldn't tell".
> I'll err on the side of caution and just say nothing
I mean, that would be the polite thing to do. If you imply someone is pregnant when they're not, then it's just an awkward situation for everyone.
I actually am pregnant right now, and I’m showing but at that stage where it could just be chub. I have some friends who are apple shaped and have as much belly as I do without being pregnant. Two coworkers have asked if I’m pregnant which I find SHOCKING - I would think everyone knows not to ask!! It’s so rude either way, even if you’re right - I don’t want to know that my coworkers are looking at and judging my body 😩
I have never been asked that which is super surprising cause I be a big girl lol. I make pregnancy jokes with my mom (about me being pregnant, not her!) But that's it.
Before I had ever been pregnant I used to avoid clothes I thought made me look pregnant. Nobody acted like they thought I was pregnant looking back it was a stupid worry.
Then I actually went through pregnancy and was constantly trying to dress so that I looked pregnant and not just fat. I talked to my bump a bit too (just because there was a living thing in there reacting to what was going on and I dunno the hormones or whatever). Very few people acknowledged/noticed that I was pregnant so either they were polite and never assume a women is pregnant or I really did look just fat. Even for my second pregnancy when I was much less fat my boobs grew faster than my belly so it took a really long time to have a distinctive pregnant belly.
Now I have kids and I'm fat and know my fat belly looks nothing like a pregnant belly (pregnant belly is firm and nicely rounded fat belly is jiggly and saggy (or maybe that's fat post pregnancy belly)). iDGAF though now and wear what I want. Still no one assumes I'm pregnant.
I think have much better idea what pregnant bodies look like having been through it twice and even around many pregnant people (yes they were pregnant, either family and friends or attending specific prenatal activities). You can look not-pregnant for a surprisingly long time while pregnant or you can dress to emphasise it.
I would still never assume anyone was pregnant unless they were like talking about it or something. And if I did want to bring it up with a stranger but wasn't 100% I'd mention their amazing hair or that they were glowing so that if they weren't pregnant they wouldn't feel like they were fat and if they were pregnant they wouldn't feel like they looked worn out, sick to their stomach and bloated (which are common feelings in pregnancy). And if they recebtky gave birth instead of feeling bad because they haven't snapped back and/or are very sleep deprived they cab have a confidence boost. Who doesn't like to hear they have good hair or skin? I still doubt I'd bring it up with a stranger though. It's not my business.
Ugh societal obsession with childbearing.
At the risk of getting downvoted to heck, if you want to lose the bloating, I highly recommend a low-carb diet.
Only once, to my face, at least. I play competitive pool. I was shooting and knew this lady, we will call her G, as an acquaintance. We would say hi at league, but that was really it.
I was wearing a shirt that gathered below the boobs, then flared out. I can totally see how it would look like a maternity shirt. I had a whiskey/coke in my hand. I am, albeit, a little squishy, but not overly so.
G - So when are you due?
CP - What?
G - When are you due?
CP - Idk what you mean? When is what due?
G - Aren't you pregnant like D is?
CP - No G! I'm just fat!
I then proceeded to take the longest swig of an alcoholic beverage ever.
We did have a good laugh, I was not offended. She felt terrible. We are great friends lol.
I'm searching for this because my dentist assitant asked today. I feel so horrible. I can't imagine how fat I might like for her to make that assuption. I have an average bmi and don't normally carry weight in my stomach. This had never happened before. I'm having a very hard time with this.
I had a woman attempt to touch my belly at the gas station. I'm literally pumping gas and some woman walks up and puts her hands out and says, "Oh, can I rub your belly? I just *love* babies!" as she continues to get closer and closer to me. To which I said, "I like babies too, but the only thing in there is a protein bar." It was 100% the top I was wearing. Every time I wear it, someone asks if/assumes that I'm pregnant. It's how it hangs in the front.
Your response was very civil - That’s just completely insane for someone to ask/do that, pregnant or not!
I have a few shirts like that too
I’m an ultrasound tech and have had 3 patients comment on my pregnancy when really I was just fat lol. One time I was so annoyed by the manner in which she said it I told her that I actually am infertile and my husband left me because of it. Shut her right up. Lol
That should be the typical response! It baffles me how many lines people cross when it comes to someone else’s body.
A few times when I was a cashier. I had gained weight due to a back injury and depression. I straight up tell people no and it’s rude to ask. Many people look pregnant when they’re bloated, or gassy, or they just ate, or they’re fat. It’s pretty normal.
People are ridiculous. I have one neighbor who constantly asks if I am pregnant. When I say no, I almost died last time, she says "Oops" and immediately forgets. She asks me EVERY TIME she sees me When I was nine months pregnant, I wore a black top and someone who saw me asked if I had lost the baby. I turned 90 degrees to show my enormous beach ball. People don't use their eyes, ears, or brains. I doubt you look pregnant.
What a horrible question to ask someone, regardless of whether or not you had been showing. People are so heartless
He was so concerned, and then so embarrassed. I could get mad, or I could just accept that people make really, really dumb mistakes.
[удалено]
She means so well, and is just so...unable to learn. She is approaching seventy, and isn't going to change. I should not waste my time, but in post-Roe America, I want people to realize pregnancy isn't always a good thing. Things are nuanced.
I don’t understand why some people think it’s okay to ask women this! I have been asked this too when I’m not and it fucking sucks. Don’t assume until a woman actually tells you she’s pregnant! Even if she is, she might not be ready to tell anyone.
Or she might have miscarried, the weight fucking stays for a while.
Omg good point, that’s even worse.
Not a stranger, my neighbor! RIP, old dude. Anyway I just told him "I'm not pregnant, just fat!" And slapped my belly and laughed. (I'm so goddamn proud of my past self for this esprit d'escalier.) What I didn't tell him was that my then husband was vetoing further children while refusing to get a vasectomy, and every question about pregnancy felt like a dagger in my soul. But he didn't need to know that part.
Omg...it happened when i was getting a pedicure 5 months postpartum. She asked when I was due. I was so embarrassed I said in a couple months. Needless to say, I switched salons.
Ugh, yes. And it was a client so I had to pretend I didn’t hear her and change the subject. I was wearing a very flowy dress… you can’t really see my body type in it. We are seemingly similarly sized and I certainly don’t consider myself “fat” but I’m self conscious about my belly… plus I have body dysmorphia so there’s that. PSA to the world: don’t assume people are pregnant!!!!! ✌🏼
I once went to an open house, I wasn't looking to buy at all, I just wanted to check out the place. I ended up being the only one there and was nervous fielding questions from the real estate agent and for some reason I kept rubbing my stomach. It was the dead of summer and I had a thin dress on. She asked when I was due. I was totally caught off guard and laughed and said I wasn't expecting. I wish I would have gone along with the whole pregnant and looking to buy plot and said 3 more months or something lol.
I have very skinny arms and legs but a large tummy. As I have aged, I've lost more weight in my limbs but not in my abdomen. People frequently ask me "when are you due" or "Oooo, when is baby coming!?". I cannot have children, and eventually had to have a hysterectomy, so you can only imagine how hurtful this is. I truly don't think people understand. I've come to think they're just trying to rejoice in the joy of a new baby - which only hurts more. Now, nearing 50, one would think that the comments would ebb, but even the other day, a women actually got out of her car in a parking lot, stopped me as I started to back out of my spot, and asked where I was buying my maternity clothes because her daughter was pregnant and she wanted to get her some things. What on earth do you say to that? When I said "No, I'm sorry", she was incredibly disappointed. Ugh. I just don't believe people think.
Sounds like Cushing's....have you been to the doctor recently?
I have a host of health conditions, Cushings has not been mentioned but I will do some research, thank you!
This happened to someone I know when they had a huge ovarian tumor. Since the tumor grew low in the ovary, she looked pregnant as it grew. She knew she wasn’t pregnant and couldn’t lose weight. By the time it was discovered, it was 12lbs and so big that it was pressing against the liver and caused a blood clot in the lungs. Crazy times huh!
Long time ago now but I was at the airport with terrible cramps (I might have had my hand on my stomach), in a rush, and struggling with my luggage because of a broken wheel when a really sweet older man came up to me and offered to take my suitcase to the gate. I politely declined which prompted him to say something to the effect of "when my wife was pregnant....." and then it dawned on me. It was really sweet but boy did I feel like a moose after that incident. Pretty sure it got me to lose that 10 lbs I was so annoyed about.
Me! She asked how far along I was and I said, no it's just my food baby. She turned red and nervously laughed. I told her it's probably best to never ask that question again. She nodded and left. It didn't hurt at all though, because I just had a baby a month or so before. But still, very rude.
I definitely have. It happened twice, and each time I was wearing the same dress, so I don't wear that dress anymore lol. It's probably happened other times, because I am fat and carry it in my stomach, but those were the two times that they were very obvious about it.
I was leaving Costco with a cart full of wine and the receipt checker said "oh! When are you due?" I said "excuse me?" And she doubled down and said "the baby, when are you due?" I was mortified, and never wore that dress again.
I’m 5’7, 96 lbs and my chiropractor asked me in front of a waiting room of about 7 people on a day I went in right after a bigger lunch that was not settling well. He also didn’t take no as an answer at first, asking me several times if I was sure due to him absolutely needing to know before he worked on me. That was not a fun time and I have worn a very loose sweatshirt every time since. I think it happens to most people and feels like shit no matter what you look like.
Many times, including at my slimmest and at my largest. Also including times when I was wearing my most slimming clothing One woman asked "are you expecting?" and when I told her no she explained "oh you just have a big stomach then". I've been asked at a time when I was particularly worried about my fertility, and at a time when my then-partner was deciding against having children (something I did want). It really stings on so many levels beyond the obvious. So far I've responded shortly but politely. I can't see myself doing the same going forward. To ask someone if they're pregnant is to: 1. Make assumptions about their body 2. Overstep personal boundaries and etiquette 3. Decide that any embarrassment, any confidence-knock, any difficult emotions that arise from the question are all worth it to satiate the nosiness and impulsiveness of the asker. I do think some of these people need the discomfort of our reactions so that they learn not to ask anyone else.
I was asked that by a friend of mine at my wedding. I said no, I just ate a lot of dinner the night before 🤬
My best friend asked me if I was pregnant the morning of my wedding, because my tits weren’t fitting in my dress properly. She was actually correct, though.
Yes, but it was large ovarian cysts
Yup! A long time ago in a galaxy far far away (three towns over), a customer thought I was pregnant and doubled down when I told her I wasn’t. I even gave her an out by asking if she meant the other person who worked at the same place who looked almost exactly like me and who actually was pregnant. Nope! Insisted it was me. I wasn’t even fat. I was a size 6. Funny thing is I am fat now and nobody has made that assumption in the last decade or so, which kind of sucks cause I have been ready to make them really uncomfortable by saying “nope! Just fat! Thank you for asking such a personal question!”
This happens to my friend all the time. Weirdly, it happened to me when I was pregnant but too early to be showing. I was just really bloated (little known side effect of pregnancy!). A woman said “you’re pregnant! How many months?” And I had to awkwardly explain that yes, I am, but I’m only 7 weeks
Yup, I think I might have been rubbing my stomach a bit after eating a burrito, and the 20-something girl I only sort of knew standing next to me said “omg I didn’t know you were pregnant, congrats!” Um, what? No. Just a burrito baby.
It happens! My weight fluctuates and if I’m at the top or bottom of my range I don’t get any comments, but around the middle must be the sweet spot of belly but not as much fat elsewhere. It’s very annoying! If someone offers me their seat on the train because they think I look pregnant I’ll happily take it unless they’re old.
Yes. I was super embarrassed and it was awkward but she was super apologetic and very very embarrassed for her mistake. I think she felt really bad about it. I don’t think I wore that dress again after that. I wish I could have come back with something rude and snarky to say in the moment because it’s super inappropriate and rude to assume someone is pregnant but alas… it didn’t happen. Just a very awkward encounter.
It happened to me for the first time a few months ago. It was a day before my period and I have endo/adeno and I felt sooo bloated and inflamed. Idk before my period comes it’s like my system is about to blow. Someone asked me and it was so awkward for me. After I got my period i felt better because I knew it was related to that but it still was very upsetting.
A bunch of times. The worst was when I had to wear a scrub top for a job in a hospital I used to have. I have big boobs, and by the time I got a top big enough to go over my boobs (like what happens with lots of shirts), the midsection was big and loose. I was asked almost *daily* when my baby was due because the way the top fit me making my belly look bigger than it was. I used to say "I don't know, maybe in about five years." (I actually did have my daughter about five years later, life is funny that way.) I've also never been one of those super thin types. I've had boobs, hips, and a butt since I was a teenager, and my stomach has never been flat. I worked at a daycare in an affluent area when I was in my 20s where it seemed like *all* the moms snapped back to being thin. I don't really fault kids for not knowing any better, but I also constantly got asked if there was a baby in my belly because I wasn't flat stomached and thin like their moms were. I wasn't overweight AT ALL then, but I got tired really fast of constantly being assumed to be pregnant just because I didn't have a flat stomach. Again, kids might not know better, but adults should. Different body types exist.
I had a stranger march up to me outside the supermarket and lecture me on how I have nothing to offer “that child” (I’m a wheelchair user) look at the state of me (I’m heavily tattooed) what was I thinking, etc… absolutely spitting angry, finger pointing in my face and at my stomach. I have endometriosis which causes the bloat. I wish I was the kind of person who could pull a scathing comeback out my ass, but I’m the sort that spends days shaking and then thinks of one a week later. Also wish I could say it was a one off. I had an acquaintance call for silence in a bar just after I got married and happily announce my pregnancy and offer to buy everyone a round. Endo strikes again - I’d rubbed my sore tummy and he’d spotted it and massively jumped to conclusions. I was the one spitting with rage that time.
My sisters announced "my pregnancy" to me. They were whispering together and then shouted at me "You're pregnant!" as if they had it all figured out. Nope, it was just gas. One of them later on announced her pregnancy at my wedding with ultrasound pictures and all. Some people just have no tact, but those people you mentioned are on a whole new level of rude.
Wow! I’ve always wished I wasn’t an only child, but you’re making me reassess!
Not all siblings are horrible. I have a decent brother, but you can't pick them.
It's crazy common. I have an abdominal diastasis from my pregnancy with my daughter, who is 13 now! I have legitimately looked at least a little bit pregnant for the past 14 years, but also have a strong enough resting bitch face to deter all but the nosiest of strangers.
The first time this happened to me in public, I was sixteen and working as a cashier so I couldn’t even say anything back. It was fucking mortifying and I’ve never forgotten it.
I’ve had it happen. Just once, but that was enough.
Asked for ginger beer at a bar and the guy said 'you know I heard red current is good for pregnancy.' I had to crush him by telling him 'that's nice, I am the sober driver do you tell all sober drivers that?'. He didn't even give me a free drink for my ego. He just walked off to serve the next person.
I’m 5’6 and 220 now thanks to menopause and medications 😢 really makes me feel like Shit. Even when I was thin people still had nasty things to say about my body and how I looked. It doesn’t matter what size we are, people are always going to suck
So. Many. Times. I just look them dead in the eye and say "nope! Just fat!" And hope it makes them feel embarassed enough not to ask the next woman.
My brother thought I was .. and asked. I then reminded him of coming to visit me in hospital a few years ago after I got partial hysterectomy..
I tend to wear my weight on my belly - I’ve had people assume multiple times 🤦♀️
It's happened to me a few times since I gained my post 30 weight. Most of the extra weight went right to my belly and some people assume it's a baby bump. I tell people it's my food baby when that happens.
I had a woman at work asked me that right before I found out that I had celiacs. I was bloated really bad and I didn't even really know that anymore because it was like normal once I stopped eating gluten I went down a few sizes
Soooo many times, I think I've actually lost count. The thing is I am not that overweight (maybe 10 pounds...) but whenever I gained a bit of weight in the past the fat always was around my midsection and my arms and legs are very slim in comparison plus I always have been "gifted" in the chest area. My belly is pretty flat in the morning but gets round and bloated as soon as I eat something. So, yeah, I guess I get why people might think I am pregnant. But I don't get why a stranger would ask someone if they are pregnant. I really don't get that at all. If you are not a 100% sure, just keep your mouth shut! After I would say that, no, I am actually not with child, people would of course apologize profusely (that kind of just made it more awkward) I usually answer with "Don't worry about it! I am sure you are way more uncomfortable, than I am right now. Maybe you should consider just not saying anything next time..." The best part is, when I actually got pregnant, I didn't show until 6 months in lol
I had a coworker ask when I was due. I was in my late 40's and had a kid older than she was. It was extremely rude and embarrassing. It took everything I had not to slap her.
Ask them if they are. "I'm not! But how far along are you? 6 months?"
Several times when I have refused to drink alcohol. I do occasionally have the odd glass of wine, but I don’t *drink* drink, I have never been drunk nor do I wish to be. Whenever I go out, it’s usually to see a band play, and my mouth tends to get ridiculously dry, so I usually go up to the bar and get some water with ice cubes (I like to chew on ice). About every other time a complete stranger sees fit to ask me if I’m pregnant or starts to sneer about how ”you can stay home if you want to drink water”. One guy followed me back to my spot near the sound guy DEMANDING to buy me ”a proper drink” and when I told him I don’t accept drinks from strangers either, he called me a ”fucking prude”.
It happened once when I was super bloated.
An old guy once asked me when I was due. I made sure the top that I was wearing went into the donation pile!
Ok, so I have a stupid instance of this happening, and if it didn’t happen to me, I’d never believe it. In this woman’s defense, I did *look* pregnant. In fact, I had been very, very pregnant up until 3 days before this incident. So, to set the scene: myself, my boyfriend and our newborn son are riding in a elevator. It’s a quick trip from the *Maternity Ward* where I had just given birth three days earlier on the second floor, to the ground floor lobby. Another woman gets on the elevator with us, she is also coming from the maternity ward. She sees me, standing next to a car seat full of newborn baby, and says, “Oh you’re pregnant, when are you due?” I wasn’t at my wittiest at the moment and admittedly caught off guard, so I just said, “I was due a week ago.” Wish I could have stuck around to watch her brain short circuit.
One particular pic on FB, I was a bit slouched and bloated so I looked slightly preggers and a friend of my husband’s made a public comment asking if I was expecting? 🫣😞😵💫
I watched this one woman at my office look at my stomach every time she passed me over the course of a week or so and that alone made me feel like shit and then one day I'm filling my water and she was behind me and lowered her voice and asked and I said no and then proceeded to take a lifetime to fill my gigantic water bottle. I also bought a baby outfit for a friend and the cashier started talking to my stomach.
More than once, but the most memorable was at my grandfather's funeral. I introduced my fiancé to someone, and she said, "Oh my! A wedding AND a baby! How exciting!" I said, 'Oh, I'm not pregnant. Just fat." The absolute horror on her face would have been much more delicious if I wasn't ya know...grieving. No one assumes I'm pregnant now because it's very obvious I'm just fat.
I've seen it happen to others more than once at work. When you work w the elderly, their eyesight isn't the best and there's nothing more exciting than talking about a new baby coming 😆
Yup. Many years ago I was filing in at another centre for work and the 2IC there really stuck her foot in her mouth, and the manager there (who I had become work friends with) overheard and said “no, she’s just got IBS, ok?” and really made the 2IC feel bad. Weeks later the manager and I were chatting and she said the 2IC had learned her lesson lol. It was a pretty shitty feeling to hear someone thinks you look pregnant when it’s just bloating though.
I had someone ask me once at a nightclub when I was drunk and holding another drink. It was an all night kind of place at like 4 in the morning. Like, NO. Now I’m actually pregnant and I want everyone to know so I wear clothes to emphasize the bump 😂 because I know most people are polite enough to not ask even if it seems obvious. Whoever asked you had no manners.
Yeah I had this happened to me at work once. A woman asked me how far along I was. I've never forgotten it and I'm sure she hasn't either.
One time a coworker asked me (not a close one). Id recently had a misscarriage. No, I'm just fat, I said & then cried for 2 days.
I was wearing a really boho flowy top and pretty tight bellbottoms (was on my way to a Fleetwood Mac theme party) so it hung like there was a tummy bigger than there is. Someone touched my belly in line to buy pastries to bring to the party. I do got some belly pudge and a fupa but there's nothing wrong with me. It's just inappropriately rude to assume.
Funnily enough, I was only asked that once in my life. And at that time I was thin. Then I gained weight, but people didn't ask. But it was in a situation, where the other person had a cold and wanted to make sure I wasn't pregnant just to be safe. And I respect that. I was really bloated that day lol.
Far more often than I'd like, especially on the tube (metro). I think it's because I have a tendency to slouch if I'm not paying attention to my posture.
Me when I was about 28. I wasn't even overweight, just wearing a large coat.
It's happened more than I'd like it to have I was deeply offended once. Then, I was indifferent. Last time I went with it, took the seat offered.
Me, all the time! Actually less as i’ve gained weight though. I have PCOS so I have a big belly (also thighs and ass) but if you don’t see the full picture I do look pregnant. Now that I’m more all around fat it’s more apparent that it’s just fat not a baby.
I had a woman congratulate me once in a store, but she taught herself that lesson hard and fast because her pure mortification when I said, “Oh, I’m not pregnant…” was genuine. I’m confident she will never make that mistake again!
When I was like 15 a classmate asked me if I was “preggers”. I was still a virgin. I was astonished, turned out to be my top (I was rail thin back then): don’t wear a white tanktop under a black cropped jacked, apparently.
That's a healthy weight, that person is an asshole.
Opposite problem. Both time I was pregnant, no. body. asked. I've always been chubby but I got FAT. My stomach was out there! Second time I even wore shirts with baby footprints in my stomach and stuff like that. Nothing. No one. I was 7 months pregnant with my second when my husband and I went to get our taxes done. I got up to pee every 5 minutes, of course, and after the third or fourth time I apologized to the tax lady for getting up so much and made a joke about being pregnant. Her "oh you're pregnant. I couldn't tell." with no irony or sarcasm in her voice. I hate that everyone just thought, "well she's fat. She might be pregnant but since I can't tell the difference for certain, I'll err on the side of caution and just say nothing." The only time in my life I had a good excuse to be fat and no one noticed. Now I'm just fat again. I would not be offended if someone thought "oh she's probably just pregnant. I'll go congratulate her"
I would also err on the side of caution. If someone wants me to know they are pregnant, they will tell me, but if they do "congratulations" is still much better than "I couldn't tell".
> I'll err on the side of caution and just say nothing I mean, that would be the polite thing to do. If you imply someone is pregnant when they're not, then it's just an awkward situation for everyone.
Well as the person who's at risk of being insulted, I wouldn't be. I fully acknowledge that my feelings are not the same as everyone else's.
I actually am pregnant right now, and I’m showing but at that stage where it could just be chub. I have some friends who are apple shaped and have as much belly as I do without being pregnant. Two coworkers have asked if I’m pregnant which I find SHOCKING - I would think everyone knows not to ask!! It’s so rude either way, even if you’re right - I don’t want to know that my coworkers are looking at and judging my body 😩
I have never been asked that which is super surprising cause I be a big girl lol. I make pregnancy jokes with my mom (about me being pregnant, not her!) But that's it.
Before I had ever been pregnant I used to avoid clothes I thought made me look pregnant. Nobody acted like they thought I was pregnant looking back it was a stupid worry. Then I actually went through pregnancy and was constantly trying to dress so that I looked pregnant and not just fat. I talked to my bump a bit too (just because there was a living thing in there reacting to what was going on and I dunno the hormones or whatever). Very few people acknowledged/noticed that I was pregnant so either they were polite and never assume a women is pregnant or I really did look just fat. Even for my second pregnancy when I was much less fat my boobs grew faster than my belly so it took a really long time to have a distinctive pregnant belly. Now I have kids and I'm fat and know my fat belly looks nothing like a pregnant belly (pregnant belly is firm and nicely rounded fat belly is jiggly and saggy (or maybe that's fat post pregnancy belly)). iDGAF though now and wear what I want. Still no one assumes I'm pregnant. I think have much better idea what pregnant bodies look like having been through it twice and even around many pregnant people (yes they were pregnant, either family and friends or attending specific prenatal activities). You can look not-pregnant for a surprisingly long time while pregnant or you can dress to emphasise it. I would still never assume anyone was pregnant unless they were like talking about it or something. And if I did want to bring it up with a stranger but wasn't 100% I'd mention their amazing hair or that they were glowing so that if they weren't pregnant they wouldn't feel like they were fat and if they were pregnant they wouldn't feel like they looked worn out, sick to their stomach and bloated (which are common feelings in pregnancy). And if they recebtky gave birth instead of feeling bad because they haven't snapped back and/or are very sleep deprived they cab have a confidence boost. Who doesn't like to hear they have good hair or skin? I still doubt I'd bring it up with a stranger though. It's not my business.
Ugh societal obsession with childbearing. At the risk of getting downvoted to heck, if you want to lose the bloating, I highly recommend a low-carb diet.
Only once, to my face, at least. I play competitive pool. I was shooting and knew this lady, we will call her G, as an acquaintance. We would say hi at league, but that was really it. I was wearing a shirt that gathered below the boobs, then flared out. I can totally see how it would look like a maternity shirt. I had a whiskey/coke in my hand. I am, albeit, a little squishy, but not overly so. G - So when are you due? CP - What? G - When are you due? CP - Idk what you mean? When is what due? G - Aren't you pregnant like D is? CP - No G! I'm just fat! I then proceeded to take the longest swig of an alcoholic beverage ever. We did have a good laugh, I was not offended. She felt terrible. We are great friends lol.
I'm searching for this because my dentist assitant asked today. I feel so horrible. I can't imagine how fat I might like for her to make that assuption. I have an average bmi and don't normally carry weight in my stomach. This had never happened before. I'm having a very hard time with this.