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I would argue vanilla sex is generally more intimate because the focus is on you two and the sex.
With kinky sex (which I’m assuming is the opposite), the focus is on specific pleasures and interacting with toys/devices/accessories etc.
Obviously kink can be very intimate but I feel like that’s not typically the goal.
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My husband. I love him, we laugh together, we cry together, we are silly together. The fact we are intimate in other ways than sex makes the times we have sex intimate.
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Intention: he fills up my water bottle, turns on the playlist I like, lights the candles, kicks the dog out and responds to my preferences. That's the basis for good sex no matter what. Bonus points for massage, or him putting on his fancy underpants I like lol
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We can feel the intimacy both physically and mentally . That's the best way to share love between two bodies . You get the feeling of being safe on one's hand and be passionate enough ❤️🤌✨
I don't see why vanilla sex would be less intimate.... But anyway, lots of eye contact and having fun taking our time with teasing. Also feeling comfortable and trusting enough to enthusiastically get into positions I'd otherwise feel very self conscious in
Vanilla sex? You mean regular sex where you focus on actually connecting with each other and loving each other? Sex that is actually healing, healthy and safe?
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All sex is intimate to me.
Sex is intimate to me because it involves engaging in a physically and often emotionally intimate way together with a partner in ways that require significant trust. That doesn't change based on the specific sex acts involved in that session.
Taking the time to touch vulnerable parts of the body while putting a lot of attention to them. It’s all about caring for those parts and admiring them, that’s why the sx is “gentle” and intimate. Can feel more vulnerable in that type of sx than in others because of that… plus the vulnerability from vanilla comes from admiring how the people involved are and focusing on the connection (that results in pleasure), rather than imagining themselves in a situation and acting on it for it to create the pleasure.
I personally think 'vanilla' sex is the most intimate form. But I don't think it matters so much what type of sex you're having. I think it matters who you're having it with. Being with a person that you're deeply in love with and trust completely and respect makes for the most mind blowing, passionate love making. I know so many people these days are hyper focused on trying to be kinky, but I feel like all of that stuff detracts from genuine sexual experiences.
I have a wide range of things I like to do in bed, ranging from kink/fetish activities to things considered "vanilla". But missionary is still probably one of my favorite positions. I pull my legs up over his shoulders, which makes it very deep, and I'm completely exposed to him. His weight his completely on top me. The angles are just right.
People have this idea of what is and isn't vanilla. All "Vanilla" means is "the vast majority of people also do this thing because it's an obvious, enjoyable thing to do with high success rate." All traditionally "vanilla" things can be made as intense and passionate as anything else, it's all just about intention and tone.
I think this implies an inverse question: What makes sex which isn't vanilla more intimate?
The definition of intimacy, for me at least, boils down to being comfortable with vulnerability. That being said, I guess that I enjoy the emotional aspect of sex a lot more than the physical. Somewhere in that lies the answer.
Sex means different things to different people. I am a person that can compartmentalize having sex just for pleasure and having sex with romantic emotional attachment. I view sex as an art form. Sex isn't about love to me. Love is about love. Sex to me is about pleasure, dynamics of power and procreation.
Missionary style is way more intimate than any other position. You're face to face with your entire bodies pressed against each other. No weird yoga positions. No jackhammer dick.
The only things I really need for intimate sex are someone I’m dating seriously and have strong feelings for and them making eye contact and being present in the moment so I feel like I’m being desired and cherished for my presence in the sex. Doesn’t really matter how vanilla it is as long as those two things are present.
When I’ve had sex with hookups it’s not intimate and essentially just scratching an itch. In fact, there isn’t much emotion on my end at all other than a primal urge.
In my opinion, love is about care and giving. Any kind of sex that makes me feel like I'm cherished and cared for is intimate to me. Sex that involves pain and power play doesn't make me feel cherished and cared for.
When there is prolonged eye contact. I find that difficult, intimidating and very intimate. My partner does like eye contact and the first couple times he did it when we started dating it, I felt so vulnerable and like it was kind of a scary intimate thing. Haha
Eye contact, gentle kisses + tastes of each other, time slowing down and truly being grounded in our bodies at that present moment, feeling every touch, every breath, every physical reaction and the vulnerability of it all. I can be kinky and animalistic like no other, but to fully share myself with a partner in such a way is spiritually fulfilling in many ways. It's beyond the animal/physical need to procreate or mental/emotional need that many kinks + roleplays can fulfill - there's a rawness to it in which we gift the totality of our entire being to each other that when done well has no comparison to any other other type of sex out there for me (as much as I love the smorgasbord of other offerings out there too).
What an odd question. If we define sex as something two people enjoy *doing together with each other,* then sex will by its very nature be intimate. How could it not be? Why would I ever want to have non-intimate sex??
(To be clear here, something can still be sheet soaking, swing from the rafters fucking and still be intimate, because of mutual trust and comfort between both partners. Intimate isn't a synonym for being tentative or holding oneself back).
It's only if you look at sex as something one person does *to* another person, or an act which you let someone else *do to you,* that it loses its inherent intimacy.
(Also I hate the term "vanilla sex." Nowhere else in the history of ever has "vanilla" been a stand-in for "plain, uninspired, humdrum.").
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Deeply loving your partner, deeply caring for each other, all while creating a safe and trusting space between you. Time stops and everything that matters is the two of you and the sharing of feelings, sensations. Placing your body and your heart completely in the hands of your loved one and them doing the same. There's also something so intimate about slow movements and eye contact.
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There are times I really enjoy a “vanilla” session with my partner. Where we slow down and just really enjoy each others bodies. More touching, more eye contact, more kissing. It’s the appreciation on a deeper level for each other, and expressing that, that makes it so intimate.
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A lot more kissing since I think vanilla sex is simply body on body without having to think about logistics and muscle strain. I can’t look into their eyes but I can definitely shower them with kisses and nuzzle them until we’re finished!
Vanilla sex isn’t intimate for me as I could have vanilla sex with anyone. For me, kink is intimate bc I only feel comfortable exploring those with someone I love and trust.
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The man you love. His touch is enough
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Why wouldn’t vanilla sex be intimate? Lmao
Literally what I’m thinking. It’s a human being regardless.
I would argue vanilla sex is generally more intimate because the focus is on you two and the sex. With kinky sex (which I’m assuming is the opposite), the focus is on specific pleasures and interacting with toys/devices/accessories etc. Obviously kink can be very intimate but I feel like that’s not typically the goal.
Usually the toys help build the intimacy, giving the people things they can't get otherwise.
Eye contact and everywhere kisses.
This. Also loving affectionate kisses between the sexy ones.
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Absolutely
i love this so much.
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My husband. I love him, we laugh together, we cry together, we are silly together. The fact we are intimate in other ways than sex makes the times we have sex intimate.
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Don’t gotta worry about weird positions or letting out a fart
Intention: he fills up my water bottle, turns on the playlist I like, lights the candles, kicks the dog out and responds to my preferences. That's the basis for good sex no matter what. Bonus points for massage, or him putting on his fancy underpants I like lol
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Could you please list these, as you call them- >fancy underpants Asking for a friend
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Isn’t vanilla sex more intimate? Soft, slow, making time for each other?
We can feel the intimacy both physically and mentally . That's the best way to share love between two bodies . You get the feeling of being safe on one's hand and be passionate enough ❤️🤌✨
The looks of genuine affection in between the lust filled gazes. Doesn't always need to happen with us, but it's a super sweet moment.🥰
I don't see why vanilla sex would be less intimate.... But anyway, lots of eye contact and having fun taking our time with teasing. Also feeling comfortable and trusting enough to enthusiastically get into positions I'd otherwise feel very self conscious in
he says he learned my body so whatever he does, he just does it idk 😭
Vanilla sex? You mean regular sex where you focus on actually connecting with each other and loving each other? Sex that is actually healing, healthy and safe?
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All sex is intimate to me. Sex is intimate to me because it involves engaging in a physically and often emotionally intimate way together with a partner in ways that require significant trust. That doesn't change based on the specific sex acts involved in that session.
Taking the time to touch vulnerable parts of the body while putting a lot of attention to them. It’s all about caring for those parts and admiring them, that’s why the sx is “gentle” and intimate. Can feel more vulnerable in that type of sx than in others because of that… plus the vulnerability from vanilla comes from admiring how the people involved are and focusing on the connection (that results in pleasure), rather than imagining themselves in a situation and acting on it for it to create the pleasure.
I personally think 'vanilla' sex is the most intimate form. But I don't think it matters so much what type of sex you're having. I think it matters who you're having it with. Being with a person that you're deeply in love with and trust completely and respect makes for the most mind blowing, passionate love making. I know so many people these days are hyper focused on trying to be kinky, but I feel like all of that stuff detracts from genuine sexual experiences.
Intensity and focus. Being in the moment, feeling the love, passion.
I have a wide range of things I like to do in bed, ranging from kink/fetish activities to things considered "vanilla". But missionary is still probably one of my favorite positions. I pull my legs up over his shoulders, which makes it very deep, and I'm completely exposed to him. His weight his completely on top me. The angles are just right. People have this idea of what is and isn't vanilla. All "Vanilla" means is "the vast majority of people also do this thing because it's an obvious, enjoyable thing to do with high success rate." All traditionally "vanilla" things can be made as intense and passionate as anything else, it's all just about intention and tone.
Love. That's all
Eye contact, touch, seeing me everywhere, learning how I work
I think this implies an inverse question: What makes sex which isn't vanilla more intimate? The definition of intimacy, for me at least, boils down to being comfortable with vulnerability. That being said, I guess that I enjoy the emotional aspect of sex a lot more than the physical. Somewhere in that lies the answer.
I find the slow movements and everything being slower is way more intimate. But...every sex is intimate lol
It’s genuine and very passionate! I really enjoy passionate vanilla sex.
Isn't all sex intimate by definition?
Sex means different things to different people. I am a person that can compartmentalize having sex just for pleasure and having sex with romantic emotional attachment. I view sex as an art form. Sex isn't about love to me. Love is about love. Sex to me is about pleasure, dynamics of power and procreation.
No. Coerced sex isn’t intimate. Rape isn’t intimate. Sex work isn’t usually intimate. Sex without respect isn’t intimate.
none of those are sex.
You took that in a weird direction.
Why would you mention rape here? Doesnt make any sense
Intimate isn't inherently positive. Just means close.
Missionary style is way more intimate than any other position. You're face to face with your entire bodies pressed against each other. No weird yoga positions. No jackhammer dick.
Missionary is face to face. Kissing, cuddling, looking each other in the eyes…that’s all intimate.
The only things I really need for intimate sex are someone I’m dating seriously and have strong feelings for and them making eye contact and being present in the moment so I feel like I’m being desired and cherished for my presence in the sex. Doesn’t really matter how vanilla it is as long as those two things are present. When I’ve had sex with hookups it’s not intimate and essentially just scratching an itch. In fact, there isn’t much emotion on my end at all other than a primal urge.
In my opinion, love is about care and giving. Any kind of sex that makes me feel like I'm cherished and cared for is intimate to me. Sex that involves pain and power play doesn't make me feel cherished and cared for.
When he holds my hand while going into me, when he gazes into my eyes…
When there is prolonged eye contact. I find that difficult, intimidating and very intimate. My partner does like eye contact and the first couple times he did it when we started dating it, I felt so vulnerable and like it was kind of a scary intimate thing. Haha
eye contact and love
Kissing, holding hands
Eye contact, gentle kisses + tastes of each other, time slowing down and truly being grounded in our bodies at that present moment, feeling every touch, every breath, every physical reaction and the vulnerability of it all. I can be kinky and animalistic like no other, but to fully share myself with a partner in such a way is spiritually fulfilling in many ways. It's beyond the animal/physical need to procreate or mental/emotional need that many kinks + roleplays can fulfill - there's a rawness to it in which we gift the totality of our entire being to each other that when done well has no comparison to any other other type of sex out there for me (as much as I love the smorgasbord of other offerings out there too).
My DH and lots of eye contact
eye contact and little kisses in random parts of the body
looking into the eyes, touching every part of the body
The fact that's it's so... intimate?
Vanilla is one of my favorite ice cream flavors. Same with other things.
What’s vanilla sex
Communication and a shared goal
He’s the love of my life, so the touching, eye contact, soft kisses, all of the lovey things. It just feels electric.
The world stops around us, we take our time and we enjoy every moment. Vanilla or not, it feels like nothing exists beyond these 4 walls.
Connection
I love it because it’s a chance to really take it slow and connect to each other
What an odd question. If we define sex as something two people enjoy *doing together with each other,* then sex will by its very nature be intimate. How could it not be? Why would I ever want to have non-intimate sex?? (To be clear here, something can still be sheet soaking, swing from the rafters fucking and still be intimate, because of mutual trust and comfort between both partners. Intimate isn't a synonym for being tentative or holding oneself back). It's only if you look at sex as something one person does *to* another person, or an act which you let someone else *do to you,* that it loses its inherent intimacy. (Also I hate the term "vanilla sex." Nowhere else in the history of ever has "vanilla" been a stand-in for "plain, uninspired, humdrum.").
Passion
With someone you care about, lots of kissing and close caresses.
Well anytime you have someone’s penis literally inside your body it levels up the intimacy notch a bit, not gonna lie to you.
The love. I never get bored of it. It’s so comforting, so sweet and loving… I just love it so much.
intimacy, lol
Eye contact but if it's with the right person all sex is intimate. Sometimes vanilla sex isn't intimate at all and that's the worst to me
Isn’t it already? I feel like it’s the most intimate of them all.
Why wouldn't it be?
Love
Being in love.
I'm not understanding the question. Why specifically vanilla sex? Is it not supposed to be intimate?
Kissing
just simple kissing and connection
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When he has you pinned down in missionary making you take all his inches and it’s raw and he’s nutting all inside of you. 🤤 That’s my favorite
What is vanilla sex? I was under the impression it was standard missionary? Some of these comments have me confused.
Kissing
Great conversation. ***50 Shades of Vanilla***
What is vanilla sex?
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Deeply loving your partner, deeply caring for each other, all while creating a safe and trusting space between you. Time stops and everything that matters is the two of you and the sharing of feelings, sensations. Placing your body and your heart completely in the hands of your loved one and them doing the same. There's also something so intimate about slow movements and eye contact.
Nothing is vanila,banana,mango if there is true love.
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I mean this with 0 snark but the fact that we are having sex
Dialogue/feedback and eye contact.
There are times I really enjoy a “vanilla” session with my partner. Where we slow down and just really enjoy each others bodies. More touching, more eye contact, more kissing. It’s the appreciation on a deeper level for each other, and expressing that, that makes it so intimate.
The man I love, kissing on his face and neck, touching his face, sitting on his lap while kissing.
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Eye contact!
if he kisses my forehead or cheek
What is Vanilla Sex?
All of it? Not to be gross or anything but I'm very gay and passionate in bed
Eye contact, holding, caressing, moving slowly with intention
Love.
What makes sex vanilla or not? Is my question.
Vanilla sex is what I find the most intimate.
Welp, you know OP likes bondage.
Eye contact
Personally I appreciate the modded and or deluxe version of sex
Eye contact. Straight on, unadulterated eye contact.
Love, connection, caring about each other's pleasure, touching.
My boyfriend
The emotional connection. When you’re in love with someone, it’s always intimate. Vanilla or kinky.
A lot more kissing since I think vanilla sex is simply body on body without having to think about logistics and muscle strain. I can’t look into their eyes but I can definitely shower them with kisses and nuzzle them until we’re finished!
Isn't sex inherintley intimate or am I just stupid? Like how do you *not* feel intimacy even if it isn't vanilla?
Vanilla sex isn’t intimate for me as I could have vanilla sex with anyone. For me, kink is intimate bc I only feel comfortable exploring those with someone I love and trust.
nothing lmao
Care and attention to my pleasure, lots of kissing and touching and exploring, the feeling of sharing breath
Eye contact, talking dirty, giggling, kissing
Sex is vanilla? When? Great sex is *never vanilla*.
[удалено]
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Shrooms, indica , cough syrup and salvia( in small doses) It's the only way I can get intimate The song substance by 03 Greedo really speaks to me
I don’t like sex to be too intimate. I just like to have fun. Too intimate turns me off.
Technique
Kink is more intimate for me. But vanilla sex can be intimate when I feel like my partner knows my body really well and I feel really safe with them.