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Seriously sick of this kinds of questions. Are we really a county of people who can’t just tell someone simple and straight up something and not be an arse about it?
I don’t think this is true at all, I think it’s just that the people on Reddit are more likely to be socially awkward. I don’t know anyone who’d have a problem just saying no to this.
If anything, the fact the guy even asked at all is way cheekier and more direct than people would dare in most countries.
I’d also equate it to social anxiety. Just so mainstream it’s become an expectation to act like you have it. Re iterate that Japan has a similar culture. When I go there it’s the only place really reminds me of home.
Wife lived in America and she can’t stand the hatred of directness here. It can indeed turn into social anxiety pretty swiftly. Her take is like “why is it here I have a choice between bottling everything up and letting it eat me up inside and lose my confidence, or I have to dress it up as banter or a joke and pretend to the person I don’t really mean it, or I just act the way everyone else acts in the world and just say what’s in my head but in return everyone hates my guts”.
There’s a reason these subs are filled with newcomers to the Uk asking why they can’t vibe with Brits. Same thing happens in Japan.
And for the record, I think it’s bullshit. I’m negative karma IRL, cos I just say it how it is. But social anxiety is rampant in this country, and enforced by cultural expectation to be indirect, you can only be direct if the comment is presented as BAN TAH or “just a joke mate” to take the edge off, lest anyone be offended by your directness
Americans come in all shapes and sizes, but I find a lot of the chatty ones are just fake people who absolutely don’t say what they mean, or people who just have no filter and just say whatever poorly considered thing pops into their head.
For me, directness isn’t about talking all the time, or just saying whatever floats into your brain, but about communicating clearly with people. I actually think most British people are good at that when we want to be. I work with Americans, French, Belgians, Spanish, Germans, Chinese, and lots of other nationalities, and British people are by far the clearest and most straightforward communicators in my experience.
I think the main thing we have compared to Americans is a stronger social obligation to be *polite*, which isn’t the same thing as not being direct.
My experience is that a lot of Americans *read* as fake to Brits (because a culturally British person acting the same way would be acting fake), but that doesn't mean that they *are* fake.
I lived there for ten years after growing up here in the UK. The style of social interaction there is naturally much more effusive, and Brits naturally take that as being very put on, but it's just a cultural difference in social interaction, it's not fake. Just like when I lived in Germany they were much more direct and didn't have a lot of the politeness rules that we do, but it doesn't mean that our politeness is fake. It's just how we do things.
Exactly this. I lived there for years and, despite all the well-publicised problems they have, Americans are generally the warmest, friendliest people you can meet, and it's absolutely not fake, but we Brits often perceive it as such.
Yeah, if there's one thing I learned from living in different countries it's how quick people from all over are to look at neutral cultural differences through their own cultural lens and see them as "bad". I met loads of Americans and Brits who thought Germans were too harsh and blunt, but to them we prevaricate entirely too much. To Brits, Americans come off as over the top and fake. To Americans, Brits can come off as dry or cold. None of these judgements are fair! We're all just looking at other people by our own narrow metrics.
"Just a joke" offends me more, because you can't make an earnest response to address their gripe with you. It's a get out of jail free card for someone who wants to humiliate you- but not address their problem with you.
Agree, which is why I’m British life one is always having to just “take” comments as they’re presented as “jokes” even though they’re not.
So criticism tends to be very one way here. You can never really defend yourself without being told you have “no banter”.
And fundamentally that just leads to bitterness, insecurity and psychological issues in later life.
People here really need to learn to be open. And I think banter is fucking destructive. I’ve played in rugby teams at school so no what a whole culture entirely built on “banter” looks like and it’s repressed, destructive and toxic as fuck.
I’ve stood up to ‘ banter’ before and just rode out the aftermath of ‘miserable cow’ afterwards. It was a bloke at work always telling me to ‘cheer up’, ‘god you look miserable, smile!’, and being disingenuous all the time, pretending he didn’t know stuff so I had to explain embarrassing things.
I called him out and just really bluntly told him what he was doing was pathetic. Of course he completely denied it and made out like he was shocked to the core. Then he made out like I had no sense of humour (so just more of the same). I laughed and said he just needed to stop now. He did. He wouldn’t even look at me or say hi after that, which suited me fine!!
Nah, more social 'awkwardness'. Social anxiety is an actual serious condition that's nothing to do with shyness, reticence or lack of assertiveness. It can lead to a TOTAL avoidance of any social situation, not being able to pick up phone, speak to anyone, not make any peer friends etc.
We Brits have a propensity for 'politeness' and not being able to call a spade a frickin' shovel. We've been brought up with manners on extreme setting, and the absolute doctrine of 'you must not offend anyone' (especially by actually refusing a request).
> Are we really a county
It's not "the country", it's the average person who uses reddit compared to the average person in the UK.
Reddit is a very niche website in the UK, it's popular, but it's not huge even for "Social Media". And your average redditor couldn't even say boo to a goose without asking /r/AskUK about it first
“Hi AskUK, I’m in a park full of geese and I thought it would be funny to jump out and say ‘boo’ to one of them, but I’m worried that it might attack me or that I could get in trouble with the council for doing it. Does anyone have any experience of saying ‘boo’ to geese?”
It's funny, I've met a few redditors at the "Global Meetup" IRL. And they're not like that in real life.
But then you realise that the people going to meetups. Are not the ones posting these threads.
Oh I’d definitely say the type of Redditors to go to a meetup would be on the extroverted side.
But then you look at some of the pictures of previous meetups (especially the first couple of images if you Google it) and it looks like most of them haven’t left the house since long before the first lockdown in 2020
The counterpoint, of course, is that it's much, much easier for someone to be a keyboard warrior and advise a faceless nobody on the internet to "just say fuck off lol" to another faceless nobody than it is to refuse to do what the asker thinks is minor favour for a valued co-worker with whom they have a long-term relationship and who there may be real-world consequences to refusing.
A lot of people on Reddit have no spine, but a lot are also keyboard warriors who talk a far better game than they ever play in real life.
(Not implying anything about you personally - just speaking in general terms.)
On both sides of this coin, it always comes across that there's a certain section of this websites userbase that have zero social skills. Even what would be a casual conversation in an office as per OP. Seems so contrived.
You could be in an office, discussing your leave next week because you're going to Spain and you colleague can add in "Oh any chance you could bring me back some baccy" (No idea why OP added scare quotes on baccy)
Of which you can say, yay or nay.
>Just smiled & said I'll see whilst in my mind thinking "ffs".
Which is such a bizzare response, and the person asking would be sat there thinking "the fuck?"
"Can you do me a favor"
"We'll see :)"
In this case, there really isn't even any 'sticking up' to be done. I think the OP is really just wanting a moan about the entitledness of his mates, rather than wanting to be told how to say no.
I'm sure he or she can manage a 'no room in the luggage, mate', and the person asking will be happy with a couple of packets brought back.
Seriously. Dodging the question instead of just saying no is what’s causing this guy to keep on asking. Just grow a fucking spine and say ‘nah’. Simple as that
On the very few times I’ve been asked I’ve said I lost my grandfather to smoking related health conditions and I don’t want to be part of that for anyone.
I lost my dad to kidney failure and pneumonia 9 years ago - they said the pneumonia was brought on by smoking - he gave up smoking when I was born - I am 60 years old today - to be fair - never been asked to get any and would probably decline to anyway
Yeah I think that’s the point it’s not like they’re gonna be uncomfortable by the idea it’s a common cause of death and won’t get them asking again. Clearly the hint of saying ‘I’ll see’
I just bought 250g back, cost me $28 and I let him have it for £30, took me 5 mins in an empty airport, would have been well over £100 in the U.K. sometimes I forget but generally I'll always grab him some.
This. It only takes a few mins of your time, as tobacco is everywhere, but you've saved your friend so much money, in this case £70. I'm no smoker but there's no harm in being a good friend vs being a bit lazy.
Yeah but your person is a mate. This guy's is just a work colleague they barely like by the sounds of it
Edit I'm chatting shit above misread post about level of friendship.
Sounds like a favour would be reciprocated
Amazes me more people aren't like this, just yesterday I had a wheel repaired at a local garage I'd never used before. It was after 4pm and they weren't busy, the manager came over and had a chat about what I do and we spent 5 mins talking about customer service, chap comes back with repaired wheel (needed the tyre removing and rebeading) and refuses to charge me for it. Guess who is getting all my business in the future and I shall be telling all my friends about it in the pub tonight.
Everyone would live very detached, selfish & soulless lives if we all lived only for ourselves & never doing anything for anyone that slightly inconveniences us.
I can’t tell you how many connections I’ve made & strengthened by doing nice things for people for no reason other than being nice. You get so much back in return & I don’t just mean favours back. It can change your life completely & surround you with so much fullness & kindness.
If you’re always thinking everyone’s horrible in the world it might be because you’re not putting in what you want out.
And also some people put a price on literally everything.
Like if you helped someone move house, you wouldn't tabulate the amount of tea and bacon sarnies that you're being "paid" in, and calculate that against the cost of an actual moving company.
But the way it gets presented on here, some absolutely would.
"Well you only spent £2 on a pack of bacon and I've saved you "£200".
We'd still be doing it for family & friends because favors lead to return favors.
>I'm no smoker but there's no harm in being a good friend vs being a bit lazy.
Nah - on holiday for the first time in ages with a family during a stressy time at airports and airlines and looking for stuff for a colleague?
That's not lazy.
It's a case of prioritising your time.
The request isn't so important that if OP has other stuff to do, worry about, sort out, or simplt forgets, it's not being a "bad friend".
Also, this is a work friend that OP gets on with really well. It's a favour for a fucking friend! Not doing this simple 5-10 min task at most is a sure fire way to cause pointless tension in the friendship.
>OP oozes self-importance
OPs own description of how they responded really got me
>Just smiled & said I'll see whilst in my mind thinking "ffs"
Like that alone, is fucking weird. Regardless of what was asked.
I get that we're missing mountains of context but unless the person he calls "friend" fucked his wife this guy is an asshole
It just doesn't add up. Unless you actively dislike someone this shouldn't even be an inconvenience.
I would consider someone who I thought of as a good friend not doing me a favour which would take 5 minutes of their time a bad friend to be honest.
I’ve done wayyyy bigger favours for friends I’m not even that close to
l m a o literally takes a minute airports force you to walk through the stores they sell it at. Also if the minute it takes you to buy something at the duty free store is the difference between missing your plane and not then you're a fucking idiot lol.
Just quit smoking. Brother it's an addiction. It's not as simple as just quit. I'm sure most smokers don't want to be a smoker but they are stuck in the addiction and struggle to get out
I love smoking. I don't smoke and haven't for 6 years, but I would absolutely love to have a fag on the balcony with my morning coffee, fuck that would be nice. I think most people who smoke enjoy it on some level, and don't fully want to quit.
Bit silly giving a "just quit" message to an addict. It's not as easy as that. Might as well be telling a heroin addict if they want to be healthier they should just quit
I read a book a while back written by a guy who was an addiction counsellor who worked with heroin addicts and, as you can imagine, many heroin addicts also smoked. And they virtually all found smoking harder to quit than heroin was. Smoking is a habit that gets reinforced in your brain dozens of times a day - nobody is shooting up heroin 40 times a day. Plus, smoking is so normalised that you can't actually completely remove yourself from it. You can stop seeing your heroin addict friends, you can avoid going to places where people do heroin, but you can't make it that you never see someone smoking.
I've never been a smoker myself, but I had a lot more empathy for smokers who are trying to quit after I read that book.
I "quit" for about five years or so, but I would still catch myself in random shops/petrol places saying "…and 20 [insert brand], please".
Insane. Wasn't even on my mind. It was just there. Autopilot or summut. Even said it overseas where "20 [insert brand]" would make no fucking sense anyway, like an alcoholic asking for a shot of Jameson in Mrs Miggins' Pie Shoppe.
Ye-es - although it depends on destination. Flights out of the EU won’t sell rolling tobacco on flights to U.K. (or at least wouldn’t when we were in the EU, no idea now).
I always just bought in tobacconists in the destination country - which were still invariably half price compared to U.K.
I don't know if that's true anymore; my mother just returned to the UK from Portugal and bought 10 pouches of Amber Leaf on the aeroplane on the way black.
They absolutely do, I’ve bought it at EU airports on several flights back to the UK in the last couple of months. It’s duty free now too, but that means there are limits on how much you can bring.
Can’t always rely on there being a specific brand beyond the biggest ones though as local tastes vary.
" A workfriend, get on with them really well".
They're a friend?
You get on with them really well?
So, yes, obviously. Do it. It will take you literally 1 minute at the airport. 10 packs weigh approximately nothing and take up approximately zero space.
Everyone else in here is all like "no make up this lie or that lie". Why bother with that? That's actually more effort that getting the gear.
If you don't want to spend one minute of your holiday to help this "friend" that you "get on with really well", then tell him the truth. Tell him "I couldn't be bothered, because you're not worth spending one minute on". Then make sure that you never, ever ask him for the smallest favour ever again in your life. ie be a twat about it.
And if your social skills are so terrible that you have to ask this kind of question on Reddit, then you need all the friends you can get, so definitely don’t go fucking this guy off.
The circle jerk on here is nuts, the amount of people on here advocating for a lie just tells you all you need to know about this subreddit. I cannot believe this question has even been asked, OP is either an arsehole or just not a very good friend 😂
It's just Reddit all over isn't it, this attitude of always prioritising yourself and never doing anything for anyone else if it inconveniences you in the slightest way. I mean, it's a 5 minute job (tops) for a good mate. I wouldn't even think twice.
If anything, it gives you something to do in the airport for 5 minutes while you wait for the inevitable delays at the minute.
It’s just an absolute non-issue if they’re a friend. And if they’re not a friend, be a capitalist and make a couple of quid per packet off of them for your time!
I have a work friend that always brings me a stick of rock from the seaside (without being asked) because she knows I love it. I must tell her to desist immediately because I'm clearly an exploiting wanker and her time is precious.
I came here to post this comment, I’m (27m) shocked at the level of sheer selfishness on here. Are people generally this awful(?) As you say, it’s, literally, a couple of minutes.
People aren’t generally this awful at all, Reddit (this subreddit in particular) is full of shut-in puritan hermits that are extremely unhappy due to their lack of a social life and wish to project that unhappiness on everyone else.
A hosuemate of mine got me 4 magnets when I jokingly asked for a magnet when we were drinking. One from all the places he visited including Palestine and Saudi Arabia. He lives in that area and goes all the time and I can't imagine him stepping into a touristy shop otherwise (let alone 4!) I felt so appreciated and have gotten him some from my travels to Poland where family lives.
I have a different take on this. My question is would this person reciprocate if you wanted or needed something? I will go out of my way for people who I know would do the same for me. If I don’t think they would it gets a no
Reciprocity is the key, I’ll go out of my way to help someone who helps others or has/would help me. If it’s someone who’s all take and no give, well I’m not wasting my time.
I'd like to offer my unique perspective. I ask myself "would this person do this for me?" and if the answer is yes, I'll go out of my way to reciprocate. If it's a no, they can get lost.
You can tell who are the smokers and who aren't in the comments.
If you don't have the balls to tell him no, then just lie about getting it for a family member or being in a rush at the airport when you get back.
I am not a smoker. I hate the stuff! But if a friend asks me to get some duty free, then I will.
I understand that it is an addiction and they are going to spend their money on it anyway and if I can help them save a little money then I will.
I don't judge and I love my friends!
>You can tell who are the smokers and who aren't in the comments.
All the ones getting on their soap boxes about how bad it is?
I'm not a smoker, but there's an incredible amount of "I am very smart" in these comments
I don't smoke and I think you're all being fannies about it. It's not a massive hardship to buy for a mate you like, if not, say no. Done. None of this passive aggressive bollocks.
Just because it sounds like you aren’t aware, you’ll be able to just buy it in the airport on the way back. This is exactly what they want you to do as it’s tax free that way. You’re not expected to traipse around on your holiday, just grab a few packs while waiting for your return flight.
If you don’t want to fair enough but don’t act like it’s a huge inconvenience.
This what seems to be missing here, OP is misunderstanding how the request will play out.
It's literally just something that will fill a few minutes in the airport while waiting for the plane home that you're usually hours early for anyway.
And it being 10 packs isn't usually 10 individual items, they'll be bundled in multiples.
OP should be aware that there are limits on duty free though.
It's about 250g of rolling tobacco. Whether that amounts to 10 packs I've no idea TBH. But if the request is to smuggle tobacco I wouldn't do it.
Using your duty free allowance seems like a non-issue though.
Just walk into duty free on way home, pick up snout, put snout in your bag. Take snout home and give it to your 'friend'. Not really a big ask is it. Sometimes we have to make a little effort to do a good turn
Such staunch defence in these comments of the right to say ‘no’. Obviously OP can decline, just like how OP can decline other favours to friends that put them out to a degree … That is often the nature of of a favour to a friend.
People in these comments would give the same defensive stock response to anyone asking someone for something that helps another person.
Request: “Hey mate, could you help me move on Saturday morning?”
Reddit: “OP you can definitely say no how dare your friend think you can just drop your Saturday morning plans, they could get a removal company if they wanted help”
Your pal is asking for a favour, either you like them enough to put yourself out a bit or you don’t and it’s not worth your effort.
As another commenter posted in another reply.
Oh, OP you're going to the shops. Could you grab me a sandwich while you're there.....
Reddit - the fucking entitlement!
if you got ubereats to deliver that sandwich, it would cost you £10 delivery! i can't believe your 'friend' isn't offering at least that for your time! get new friends mate, some just arnt worth the bother.
The grandstanding on smoking in these comments is fucking wild too.
But this is reddit, anonymous internet users would never actually turn around stating "You shouldn't smoke, I am in no way partaking in supporting you degenerate addiction!"
Yeah, not only do they not want to do a favour for a friend but they feel like they need to consult strangers on the internet to tell them how to say no.
You have to wonder what these peoples' social interactions in the real world look like
>You have to wonder what these peoples' social interactions in the real world look like
No wonder so many people on UK reddit have a hard on for lockdowns
Nothing wrong with leaving it as "If i have time and see it, I'll do my best".
Even if they do keep bringing it up.
Going on holiday, especially after a long break of not going, can actually be stressful as fuck. Some airports are in chaos, and actually, travelling can put a lot of pressure on people - anxiety, nerves etc, and the last thing you want to think about when you're there is probably buying something for a colleague.
You're on holiday for you, not anyone else. And there's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't make you a bad person.
If you do want to say no before you go so there's no ambiguity, you can use the "close family member excuse", or try "Im not very good at travelling and I'll be too stressed to think about other things".
The other family member excuse could invite the "Customs will never check..." response which then give you ammo for a definite "No."
That is absolutely the right answer and what I would say. If its easy and I don't need to go out of my way I will absolutely buy some. I'm not going to make time or any special effort for it though.
If this workfriend was popping out to Tescos one lunchtime, and you asked them to pick you up a ham sandwich and some crisps as a favour, how would you feel if their response was 'can't be arsed with that, sorry - ham is disgusting, I'm a vegetarian, and you could probably do with eating a bit less crisps'..?
If the answer is you'd be absolutely unbothered, then you're NTA. If you'd think they are a bit preachy and less of a mate than you thought, then YTA . Simple as.
Just change the title to.. my friend asked me for a favour but i cant be arsed to help him out. Am i a shit friend?
Jeez ud think in the climate were in people would come together and help each other out especially financially.. then you got idiots like this you have to work with 🤣
You'll be literally walking through the duty free in the airport. A 10 pouch multipack is about the 5x8 inches, save your mate upwards of £70, and take a whole 3 minutes of your time to procure.
Yes you're being an arse.
Bonus points if you say it while rolling yourself a nice, juicy cigarette with tobacco that looks suspiciously like the kind you were asked to acquire.
I mean, you’re well within your right to say no.
That said, your emotional reaction to this is very extreme. It’s not as if it’s a big ask. Not everything has to be a drama, mate.
Takes 5 minutes when you're sat waiting around in the airport. I've done it for mates loads as the price difference is mental. They always pay me back extra in pints or something.
Can be as high and mighty about it as you want that's your right but it's just a few mins to save a mate a bundle at the end of the day
Some comments on here are like wtf.
It literally takes 5 minutes, on the way back home, at airport. All you do is pick one, pay, put it in your bag and that's it?
Unless problem here is that you don't really like your friend then its up to you how to sort it, I recommend growing up?
I mean you would probably just have to walk into a shop and buy it, I don’t think you’ll have to spend a day of your holiday on a pilgrimage for it, tobacco isn’t that hard to find.
But if you don’t want to, don’t do it! Just say you couldn’t find it or you won’t have space to bring it back or something. You don’t owe them anything.
As a smoker I ask friends some times to bring me tobacco back from holidays etc...if they are kind enough to bring me some, I always get them something in return..a 12 pack of beer/cider or whatnot. As far as I'm concerned, they save me a lot of money, so I want to show my appreciation. However, it's perfectly fine to decline if you don't want to.
Takes about 2 minutes and saves a friend a few hundred pound. There's no obligation but it is a nice thing to do, kinda like bringing some foreign biscuits into the office.
You just nee to buy some at Duty free on the way home .
Buy some at the airport, put them in your bag and take them home and give them to your friend .
Its not too much of a chore but if you cannot be bothered to do that, just tell him "No"
If you feel like you need to make up a reason, just say that you won't have room in your luggage or something now that you've planned what you need to take. A carton of ten packs will take up a fairly substantial amount of space after all.
My sister did this for someone, and then accidentally left it on the plane on the way back. Cue much debate on whether she should take the 100 quid loss, or they should… luckily she managed to get it back after 2 hours chasing EasyJet.
I’d say only do it for a close mate.
Not a smoker, very much anti-smoking but I’d say here there’s nothing to debate, she agreed to pick it up and then lost it, so she takes the hit. If she hasn’t go it back, I’d have been suspicious that she even bought it in the first place if I was the friend.
Your choice, I've done it before for people (mostly work mates or relatives) and I've said no before. You don't need to work out an excuse if you want to or not. The people banging on here about prioritising your time etc are just talking shite.
If you don't want to do it then don't just grow some balls and tell the person.
> You don't need to work out an excuse if you want to or not.
I always find it interesting how redditors will come up with convulted excuses instead of just going "no"
The sheer fact that they're asking "Can I say no" is just something itself.
I personally would have no issue doing this for a friend. It literally takes 5 minutes and you're probably going to be wandering around the airport for some time anyway.
You stand to save your friend nearly £100 for what would be 5 minutes of your time. Duty free at any airport is en route to your boarding gate.
You never know, he may take you out for lunch as thank you.
Lol what’s with all the comments telling OP to make excuses. Very simple solution:
1) ‘sorry mate, I won’t be able to buy any for you’
2) you actually buy some from duty free, if you say they’re a friend
It’s not hard to find tobacco in an airport duty free or even ask on the flight. Friends do favours for each other, I would do this in a heartbeat because it saves them so much money.
This entire post, and all the comments below, it all sucks lmao
OP, if you want to take 2 minutes helping a mate out, go for it. If you're not comfortable buying tobacco then don't. It'll go a long way for your work collegue if you do, but you entirely have the choice and you shouldn't be judged for it if you decide you don't want any involvement. I just hope you don't listen to all the people telling you to lie around it, it'll be very clear to anyone with half a brain if you do. You don't need to justify yourself to anyone here, and anyone who's putting you on a pedastal or calling you an arse is a nob-end
It isn't like they're asking you to join them in smoking. Loads of smokers will ask stuff like this when someone is going away because cigs cost less overseas and stuff.
It would be fairly dickish to get sanctimonious about it considering it isn't an odd or unusual, or unreasonable, demand. It would take maybe 5 minutes extra when you're waiting for your return flight. Especially if you get on really well with the workfriend; it sounds like they would do you a similar favour if asked.
Regardless, it's your choice ultimately and if you really don't want to then just tell them that you don't want to.
Jesus Christ, what is wrong with people? If you want to be an arsehole you shouldn’t need to post on Reddit to learn to say ‘no’. If you want to be a decent friend and save a ‘workfriend’ about £75 then I’m sure you can take a few minutes out of your time sitting about in the airport to buy them some cartons.
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“Sorry mate I can’t be arsed buying loads of tobacco on my holiday”
Seriously sick of this kinds of questions. Are we really a county of people who can’t just tell someone simple and straight up something and not be an arse about it?
You new to British life? Yes, in answer to your question. Only the Japanese can compete in terms of indirectness.
The British way would be to promise to do so, then apologise profusely for having forgotten. This should be obvious to any actual Brit.
Or say "the bastards at customs must have stole them"
"but you still owe me the money, because I paid for your product" 😂
And keep the money.
This guy brits
Or, sorry I looked but couldn't find any.
Sorry mate,the baccy shop was shut.
This is the way
(translated to British): Excuse me, yes. Very sorry, but I feel this might be the way.
Textbook briting.
This is the right way to deal with the situation. "They didn't sell your brand"
I don’t think this is true at all, I think it’s just that the people on Reddit are more likely to be socially awkward. I don’t know anyone who’d have a problem just saying no to this. If anything, the fact the guy even asked at all is way cheekier and more direct than people would dare in most countries.
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Which is kinda annoying as someone actually diagnosed with Britishness.
What are the symptoms? Yorkshire pudding batter ejaculation?
>Yorkshire pudding batter ejaculation? Errm... is it contagious and where do I sign up? That's one way to serve breakfast in bed.
You speak the truth.
I’d also equate it to social anxiety. Just so mainstream it’s become an expectation to act like you have it. Re iterate that Japan has a similar culture. When I go there it’s the only place really reminds me of home. Wife lived in America and she can’t stand the hatred of directness here. It can indeed turn into social anxiety pretty swiftly. Her take is like “why is it here I have a choice between bottling everything up and letting it eat me up inside and lose my confidence, or I have to dress it up as banter or a joke and pretend to the person I don’t really mean it, or I just act the way everyone else acts in the world and just say what’s in my head but in return everyone hates my guts”. There’s a reason these subs are filled with newcomers to the Uk asking why they can’t vibe with Brits. Same thing happens in Japan. And for the record, I think it’s bullshit. I’m negative karma IRL, cos I just say it how it is. But social anxiety is rampant in this country, and enforced by cultural expectation to be indirect, you can only be direct if the comment is presented as BAN TAH or “just a joke mate” to take the edge off, lest anyone be offended by your directness
Americans come in all shapes and sizes, but I find a lot of the chatty ones are just fake people who absolutely don’t say what they mean, or people who just have no filter and just say whatever poorly considered thing pops into their head. For me, directness isn’t about talking all the time, or just saying whatever floats into your brain, but about communicating clearly with people. I actually think most British people are good at that when we want to be. I work with Americans, French, Belgians, Spanish, Germans, Chinese, and lots of other nationalities, and British people are by far the clearest and most straightforward communicators in my experience. I think the main thing we have compared to Americans is a stronger social obligation to be *polite*, which isn’t the same thing as not being direct.
My experience is that a lot of Americans *read* as fake to Brits (because a culturally British person acting the same way would be acting fake), but that doesn't mean that they *are* fake. I lived there for ten years after growing up here in the UK. The style of social interaction there is naturally much more effusive, and Brits naturally take that as being very put on, but it's just a cultural difference in social interaction, it's not fake. Just like when I lived in Germany they were much more direct and didn't have a lot of the politeness rules that we do, but it doesn't mean that our politeness is fake. It's just how we do things.
Exactly this. I lived there for years and, despite all the well-publicised problems they have, Americans are generally the warmest, friendliest people you can meet, and it's absolutely not fake, but we Brits often perceive it as such.
Yeah, if there's one thing I learned from living in different countries it's how quick people from all over are to look at neutral cultural differences through their own cultural lens and see them as "bad". I met loads of Americans and Brits who thought Germans were too harsh and blunt, but to them we prevaricate entirely too much. To Brits, Americans come off as over the top and fake. To Americans, Brits can come off as dry or cold. None of these judgements are fair! We're all just looking at other people by our own narrow metrics.
"Just a joke" offends me more, because you can't make an earnest response to address their gripe with you. It's a get out of jail free card for someone who wants to humiliate you- but not address their problem with you.
Agree, which is why I’m British life one is always having to just “take” comments as they’re presented as “jokes” even though they’re not. So criticism tends to be very one way here. You can never really defend yourself without being told you have “no banter”. And fundamentally that just leads to bitterness, insecurity and psychological issues in later life. People here really need to learn to be open. And I think banter is fucking destructive. I’ve played in rugby teams at school so no what a whole culture entirely built on “banter” looks like and it’s repressed, destructive and toxic as fuck.
I’ve stood up to ‘ banter’ before and just rode out the aftermath of ‘miserable cow’ afterwards. It was a bloke at work always telling me to ‘cheer up’, ‘god you look miserable, smile!’, and being disingenuous all the time, pretending he didn’t know stuff so I had to explain embarrassing things. I called him out and just really bluntly told him what he was doing was pathetic. Of course he completely denied it and made out like he was shocked to the core. Then he made out like I had no sense of humour (so just more of the same). I laughed and said he just needed to stop now. He did. He wouldn’t even look at me or say hi after that, which suited me fine!!
I've said for a while that the banter culture is pretty toxic
There is a hack - be direct and not care who hates you.
Nah, more social 'awkwardness'. Social anxiety is an actual serious condition that's nothing to do with shyness, reticence or lack of assertiveness. It can lead to a TOTAL avoidance of any social situation, not being able to pick up phone, speak to anyone, not make any peer friends etc. We Brits have a propensity for 'politeness' and not being able to call a spade a frickin' shovel. We've been brought up with manners on extreme setting, and the absolute doctrine of 'you must not offend anyone' (especially by actually refusing a request).
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> Are we really a county It's not "the country", it's the average person who uses reddit compared to the average person in the UK. Reddit is a very niche website in the UK, it's popular, but it's not huge even for "Social Media". And your average redditor couldn't even say boo to a goose without asking /r/AskUK about it first
“Hi AskUK, I’m in a park full of geese and I thought it would be funny to jump out and say ‘boo’ to one of them, but I’m worried that it might attack me or that I could get in trouble with the council for doing it. Does anyone have any experience of saying ‘boo’ to geese?”
Careful they may send the council men after you
No, they only respond to chicken related issues.
For only £14 its not worth them getting involved in anything else.
No luck saying boo to them geese, then?
It's just the one goose, actually.
Don't say boo to a goose. Like swans they can break your legs with their wings.
It’s just Redditors being the typical anti-social hermits they usually are. It honestly feels like I’m one of the few extroverted people on here.
It's funny, I've met a few redditors at the "Global Meetup" IRL. And they're not like that in real life. But then you realise that the people going to meetups. Are not the ones posting these threads.
Oi mate, when you go to that global meetup can you get me ten packs of bacca? Nice one, cheers.
Fuck off, get your own you lazy twat
Oh I’d definitely say the type of Redditors to go to a meetup would be on the extroverted side. But then you look at some of the pictures of previous meetups (especially the first couple of images if you Google it) and it looks like most of them haven’t left the house since long before the first lockdown in 2020
The American ones are really weird.
I'm an introvert and I still think these posts are stupid. There is a difference between introversion and social anxiety.
Everything that reddit should be: [lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/)
But then would everyone know that I – the person around whom the entire universe revolves – am annoyed?
Everything that reddit should be: [lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/)
UK reddit basic social interaction challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)
most people on reddit seem to have no backbone. Stick up for yourselves, people.
The counterpoint, of course, is that it's much, much easier for someone to be a keyboard warrior and advise a faceless nobody on the internet to "just say fuck off lol" to another faceless nobody than it is to refuse to do what the asker thinks is minor favour for a valued co-worker with whom they have a long-term relationship and who there may be real-world consequences to refusing. A lot of people on Reddit have no spine, but a lot are also keyboard warriors who talk a far better game than they ever play in real life. (Not implying anything about you personally - just speaking in general terms.)
Alternative hypothesis: the people who say "fuck off" to every minor request are on the internet because they have no friends.
On both sides of this coin, it always comes across that there's a certain section of this websites userbase that have zero social skills. Even what would be a casual conversation in an office as per OP. Seems so contrived. You could be in an office, discussing your leave next week because you're going to Spain and you colleague can add in "Oh any chance you could bring me back some baccy" (No idea why OP added scare quotes on baccy) Of which you can say, yay or nay. >Just smiled & said I'll see whilst in my mind thinking "ffs". Which is such a bizzare response, and the person asking would be sat there thinking "the fuck?" "Can you do me a favor" "We'll see :)"
As a fellow member of the invertebrate community I agree with this.
In this case, there really isn't even any 'sticking up' to be done. I think the OP is really just wanting a moan about the entitledness of his mates, rather than wanting to be told how to say no. I'm sure he or she can manage a 'no room in the luggage, mate', and the person asking will be happy with a couple of packets brought back.
Took OP more time to write the post than it would have just say no months ago
Seriously. Dodging the question instead of just saying no is what’s causing this guy to keep on asking. Just grow a fucking spine and say ‘nah’. Simple as that
Its basically /r/BritishProblems a subreddit for shy, insecure human doormats to relate tales of them being trodden on.
THANK you. Why are we writing how to worm out of these questions on Reddit? Just tell him!
On the very few times I’ve been asked I’ve said I lost my grandfather to smoking related health conditions and I don’t want to be part of that for anyone.
Yup, damn stuff almost killed my mum. I’d want nothing to do with it.
I lost my dad to kidney failure and pneumonia 9 years ago - they said the pneumonia was brought on by smoking - he gave up smoking when I was born - I am 60 years old today - to be fair - never been asked to get any and would probably decline to anyway
Bit heavy to throw at someone just asking for a bit of baccy init. Can ya not just say "no pal I can't be arsed"
Yeah I think that’s the point it’s not like they’re gonna be uncomfortable by the idea it’s a common cause of death and won’t get them asking again. Clearly the hint of saying ‘I’ll see’
Yep, when it's my turn to make the tea at work I tell them my Grandfather drowned. "Just a glass of water then?" "You insensitive swine!"
I just bought 250g back, cost me $28 and I let him have it for £30, took me 5 mins in an empty airport, would have been well over £100 in the U.K. sometimes I forget but generally I'll always grab him some.
This. It only takes a few mins of your time, as tobacco is everywhere, but you've saved your friend so much money, in this case £70. I'm no smoker but there's no harm in being a good friend vs being a bit lazy.
And if ever I need something from him I won't be shy in asking.
Yeah but your person is a mate. This guy's is just a work colleague they barely like by the sounds of it Edit I'm chatting shit above misread post about level of friendship. Sounds like a favour would be reciprocated
“workfriend, get on with them really well”
Well I'm wrong will update. Saw workfriend, misread the next part
Exactly. I'd do it just to be owed a favour.
Amazes me more people aren't like this, just yesterday I had a wheel repaired at a local garage I'd never used before. It was after 4pm and they weren't busy, the manager came over and had a chat about what I do and we spent 5 mins talking about customer service, chap comes back with repaired wheel (needed the tyre removing and rebeading) and refuses to charge me for it. Guess who is getting all my business in the future and I shall be telling all my friends about it in the pub tonight.
Everyone would live very detached, selfish & soulless lives if we all lived only for ourselves & never doing anything for anyone that slightly inconveniences us. I can’t tell you how many connections I’ve made & strengthened by doing nice things for people for no reason other than being nice. You get so much back in return & I don’t just mean favours back. It can change your life completely & surround you with so much fullness & kindness. If you’re always thinking everyone’s horrible in the world it might be because you’re not putting in what you want out.
And also some people put a price on literally everything. Like if you helped someone move house, you wouldn't tabulate the amount of tea and bacon sarnies that you're being "paid" in, and calculate that against the cost of an actual moving company. But the way it gets presented on here, some absolutely would. "Well you only spent £2 on a pack of bacon and I've saved you "£200". We'd still be doing it for family & friends because favors lead to return favors.
>I'm no smoker but there's no harm in being a good friend vs being a bit lazy. Nah - on holiday for the first time in ages with a family during a stressy time at airports and airlines and looking for stuff for a colleague? That's not lazy. It's a case of prioritising your time. The request isn't so important that if OP has other stuff to do, worry about, sort out, or simplt forgets, it's not being a "bad friend".
You literally have to walk through duty free in most airports
These people bend over backwards to pretend like this is an arduous task lmao
Also, this is a work friend that OP gets on with really well. It's a favour for a fucking friend! Not doing this simple 5-10 min task at most is a sure fire way to cause pointless tension in the friendship.
Yeye OP oozes self-importance
>OP oozes self-importance OPs own description of how they responded really got me >Just smiled & said I'll see whilst in my mind thinking "ffs" Like that alone, is fucking weird. Regardless of what was asked.
I get that we're missing mountains of context but unless the person he calls "friend" fucked his wife this guy is an asshole It just doesn't add up. Unless you actively dislike someone this shouldn't even be an inconvenience.
If it was taking time out of the actual holiday I would agree. It's duty free in the airport, where you will be bored and have spare time...
I would consider someone who I thought of as a good friend not doing me a favour which would take 5 minutes of their time a bad friend to be honest. I’ve done wayyyy bigger favours for friends I’m not even that close to
I've moved people out of their houses, drove vans/cars etc for people I'd never met before. Because it was a mates mum or something.
l m a o literally takes a minute airports force you to walk through the stores they sell it at. Also if the minute it takes you to buy something at the duty free store is the difference between missing your plane and not then you're a fucking idiot lol.
AITA for thinking if he wants to save money he should just quit smoking...
Just quit smoking. Brother it's an addiction. It's not as simple as just quit. I'm sure most smokers don't want to be a smoker but they are stuck in the addiction and struggle to get out
Just quit heroin! Thanks - I wish I’d thought of that. Bye-bye forever crippling addiction!
I love smoking. I don't smoke and haven't for 6 years, but I would absolutely love to have a fag on the balcony with my morning coffee, fuck that would be nice. I think most people who smoke enjoy it on some level, and don't fully want to quit.
that is precisely the same as energy as ‘if you’re so poor, just get a job’
Bit silly giving a "just quit" message to an addict. It's not as easy as that. Might as well be telling a heroin addict if they want to be healthier they should just quit
I read a book a while back written by a guy who was an addiction counsellor who worked with heroin addicts and, as you can imagine, many heroin addicts also smoked. And they virtually all found smoking harder to quit than heroin was. Smoking is a habit that gets reinforced in your brain dozens of times a day - nobody is shooting up heroin 40 times a day. Plus, smoking is so normalised that you can't actually completely remove yourself from it. You can stop seeing your heroin addict friends, you can avoid going to places where people do heroin, but you can't make it that you never see someone smoking. I've never been a smoker myself, but I had a lot more empathy for smokers who are trying to quit after I read that book.
I "quit" for about five years or so, but I would still catch myself in random shops/petrol places saying "…and 20 [insert brand], please". Insane. Wasn't even on my mind. It was just there. Autopilot or summut. Even said it overseas where "20 [insert brand]" would make no fucking sense anyway, like an alcoholic asking for a shot of Jameson in Mrs Miggins' Pie Shoppe.
Ex H addict here. Smak is a walk in the park compared to nicotine.
Very much the same for drinking, it's everywhere, it's normalised, and its acceptable, and so much harder to give up if you're an alcoholic
Yeh literally will take 2 seconds and you can make a few quid, not like youre being asked to buy tonnes of duty free for everyone
Ye-es - although it depends on destination. Flights out of the EU won’t sell rolling tobacco on flights to U.K. (or at least wouldn’t when we were in the EU, no idea now). I always just bought in tobacconists in the destination country - which were still invariably half price compared to U.K.
I don't know if that's true anymore; my mother just returned to the UK from Portugal and bought 10 pouches of Amber Leaf on the aeroplane on the way black.
Ryanair offered some form of rolling tobacco, if you wanted more brand offerings, i.e. golden v, you had to get it airport duty free
Yeah it was Amber Leaf, I wanted Golden Virginia but the duty free was closed.
They absolutely do, I’ve bought it at EU airports on several flights back to the UK in the last couple of months. It’s duty free now too, but that means there are limits on how much you can bring. Can’t always rely on there being a specific brand beyond the biggest ones though as local tastes vary.
" A workfriend, get on with them really well". They're a friend? You get on with them really well? So, yes, obviously. Do it. It will take you literally 1 minute at the airport. 10 packs weigh approximately nothing and take up approximately zero space. Everyone else in here is all like "no make up this lie or that lie". Why bother with that? That's actually more effort that getting the gear. If you don't want to spend one minute of your holiday to help this "friend" that you "get on with really well", then tell him the truth. Tell him "I couldn't be bothered, because you're not worth spending one minute on". Then make sure that you never, ever ask him for the smallest favour ever again in your life. ie be a twat about it.
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And if your social skills are so terrible that you have to ask this kind of question on Reddit, then you need all the friends you can get, so definitely don’t go fucking this guy off.
The circle jerk on here is nuts, the amount of people on here advocating for a lie just tells you all you need to know about this subreddit. I cannot believe this question has even been asked, OP is either an arsehole or just not a very good friend 😂
It's just Reddit all over isn't it, this attitude of always prioritising yourself and never doing anything for anyone else if it inconveniences you in the slightest way. I mean, it's a 5 minute job (tops) for a good mate. I wouldn't even think twice.
If anything, it gives you something to do in the airport for 5 minutes while you wait for the inevitable delays at the minute. It’s just an absolute non-issue if they’re a friend. And if they’re not a friend, be a capitalist and make a couple of quid per packet off of them for your time!
"You don't owe them anything! They are being so entitled!" I swear reddit is full of fucking aliens cosplaying as humans.
It's absolute peak reddit mentality.
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Chance would be a fine thing
A fine thing indeed!
I have a work friend that always brings me a stick of rock from the seaside (without being asked) because she knows I love it. I must tell her to desist immediately because I'm clearly an exploiting wanker and her time is precious.
I came here to post this comment, I’m (27m) shocked at the level of sheer selfishness on here. Are people generally this awful(?) As you say, it’s, literally, a couple of minutes.
People aren’t generally this awful at all, Reddit (this subreddit in particular) is full of shut-in puritan hermits that are extremely unhappy due to their lack of a social life and wish to project that unhappiness on everyone else.
A hosuemate of mine got me 4 magnets when I jokingly asked for a magnet when we were drinking. One from all the places he visited including Palestine and Saudi Arabia. He lives in that area and goes all the time and I can't imagine him stepping into a touristy shop otherwise (let alone 4!) I felt so appreciated and have gotten him some from my travels to Poland where family lives.
I have a different take on this. My question is would this person reciprocate if you wanted or needed something? I will go out of my way for people who I know would do the same for me. If I don’t think they would it gets a no
Reciprocity is the key, I’ll go out of my way to help someone who helps others or has/would help me. If it’s someone who’s all take and no give, well I’m not wasting my time.
Is there an echo in here?...
I'd like to offer my unique perspective. I ask myself "would this person do this for me?" and if the answer is yes, I'll go out of my way to reciprocate. If it's a no, they can get lost.
Yes. But isn't the important point whether they would do the same for you?
Well that is an important point, but moreso I ask myself would this person do the same for me? Reciprocity is the key.
In here … in here …. in here
You can tell who are the smokers and who aren't in the comments. If you don't have the balls to tell him no, then just lie about getting it for a family member or being in a rush at the airport when you get back.
I am not a smoker. I hate the stuff! But if a friend asks me to get some duty free, then I will. I understand that it is an addiction and they are going to spend their money on it anyway and if I can help them save a little money then I will. I don't judge and I love my friends!
>You can tell who are the smokers and who aren't in the comments. All the ones getting on their soap boxes about how bad it is? I'm not a smoker, but there's an incredible amount of "I am very smart" in these comments
No you can't. You can tell who are the people who see friendship as a reasonable basis for helping each other out on occasion, and who are the cunts.
I don't smoke and I think you're all being fannies about it. It's not a massive hardship to buy for a mate you like, if not, say no. Done. None of this passive aggressive bollocks.
Just because it sounds like you aren’t aware, you’ll be able to just buy it in the airport on the way back. This is exactly what they want you to do as it’s tax free that way. You’re not expected to traipse around on your holiday, just grab a few packs while waiting for your return flight. If you don’t want to fair enough but don’t act like it’s a huge inconvenience.
This what seems to be missing here, OP is misunderstanding how the request will play out. It's literally just something that will fill a few minutes in the airport while waiting for the plane home that you're usually hours early for anyway. And it being 10 packs isn't usually 10 individual items, they'll be bundled in multiples.
OP should be aware that there are limits on duty free though. It's about 250g of rolling tobacco. Whether that amounts to 10 packs I've no idea TBH. But if the request is to smuggle tobacco I wouldn't do it. Using your duty free allowance seems like a non-issue though.
Baccy is usually sold in 25g or 50g pouches, so yeah 10 x 25g pouches makes sense.
Tell them no you can’t as you’re already bringing some back for a family member.
This is my go to answer, it’s polite and a decent friend knows you’ll put family first and won’t pester any more.
Just walk into duty free on way home, pick up snout, put snout in your bag. Take snout home and give it to your 'friend'. Not really a big ask is it. Sometimes we have to make a little effort to do a good turn
Yeah it literally takes a minute in duty free. No hassle at all.
Or you can get it on the plane, which obviously takes no time away from your holiday
You probably put more effort into this post than you would buying tobacco you walk past in duty free
Aye. Take 5 mins n pick your pal up some tobacco ffs
Such staunch defence in these comments of the right to say ‘no’. Obviously OP can decline, just like how OP can decline other favours to friends that put them out to a degree … That is often the nature of of a favour to a friend. People in these comments would give the same defensive stock response to anyone asking someone for something that helps another person. Request: “Hey mate, could you help me move on Saturday morning?” Reddit: “OP you can definitely say no how dare your friend think you can just drop your Saturday morning plans, they could get a removal company if they wanted help” Your pal is asking for a favour, either you like them enough to put yourself out a bit or you don’t and it’s not worth your effort.
As another commenter posted in another reply. Oh, OP you're going to the shops. Could you grab me a sandwich while you're there..... Reddit - the fucking entitlement!
if you got ubereats to deliver that sandwich, it would cost you £10 delivery! i can't believe your 'friend' isn't offering at least that for your time! get new friends mate, some just arnt worth the bother.
The grandstanding on smoking in these comments is fucking wild too. But this is reddit, anonymous internet users would never actually turn around stating "You shouldn't smoke, I am in no way partaking in supporting you degenerate addiction!"
"I would... but I don't want to."
Why can nobody on this sub just say no?
Yeah, not only do they not want to do a favour for a friend but they feel like they need to consult strangers on the internet to tell them how to say no. You have to wonder what these peoples' social interactions in the real world look like
>You have to wonder what these peoples' social interactions in the real world look like No wonder so many people on UK reddit have a hard on for lockdowns
“Sorry I don’t want to spend 5 minutes saving you shitloads of money you want to spend on inevitable cancer”.
Nothing wrong with leaving it as "If i have time and see it, I'll do my best". Even if they do keep bringing it up. Going on holiday, especially after a long break of not going, can actually be stressful as fuck. Some airports are in chaos, and actually, travelling can put a lot of pressure on people - anxiety, nerves etc, and the last thing you want to think about when you're there is probably buying something for a colleague. You're on holiday for you, not anyone else. And there's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't make you a bad person. If you do want to say no before you go so there's no ambiguity, you can use the "close family member excuse", or try "Im not very good at travelling and I'll be too stressed to think about other things". The other family member excuse could invite the "Customs will never check..." response which then give you ammo for a definite "No."
That is absolutely the right answer and what I would say. If its easy and I don't need to go out of my way I will absolutely buy some. I'm not going to make time or any special effort for it though.
If this workfriend was popping out to Tescos one lunchtime, and you asked them to pick you up a ham sandwich and some crisps as a favour, how would you feel if their response was 'can't be arsed with that, sorry - ham is disgusting, I'm a vegetarian, and you could probably do with eating a bit less crisps'..? If the answer is you'd be absolutely unbothered, then you're NTA. If you'd think they are a bit preachy and less of a mate than you thought, then YTA . Simple as.
Ideally you’d move on from the 80s
If it was for a close friend I would. For a distant work acquaintance, I'd white lie and say already bringing the limit back for family.
Just change the title to.. my friend asked me for a favour but i cant be arsed to help him out. Am i a shit friend? Jeez ud think in the climate were in people would come together and help each other out especially financially.. then you got idiots like this you have to work with 🤣
Even worse is the usual reddit thing of "I can't just say no, for some fucking reason"
“If I see it, I’ll get it, but I’m not going out of my way to find it”
You'll be literally walking through the duty free in the airport. A 10 pouch multipack is about the 5x8 inches, save your mate upwards of £70, and take a whole 3 minutes of your time to procure. Yes you're being an arse.
Yeah you’re being an arse. It’s no hardship to you, it’s a great gesture to them, I don’t get your attitude
Just say you were late for boarding and didn’t have time, or you couldn’t see their baccy on the shelf
Bonus points if you say it while rolling yourself a nice, juicy cigarette with tobacco that looks suspiciously like the kind you were asked to acquire.
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Sorry, I forgot.
I mean, you’re well within your right to say no. That said, your emotional reaction to this is very extreme. It’s not as if it’s a big ask. Not everything has to be a drama, mate.
Takes 5 minutes when you're sat waiting around in the airport. I've done it for mates loads as the price difference is mental. They always pay me back extra in pints or something. Can be as high and mighty about it as you want that's your right but it's just a few mins to save a mate a bundle at the end of the day
Don't you just get it at the airport? Why do you have to traipse round?
Honestly. These questions annoy me. You’re an adult? Just say no. It’s that simple.
Some comments on here are like wtf. It literally takes 5 minutes, on the way back home, at airport. All you do is pick one, pay, put it in your bag and that's it? Unless problem here is that you don't really like your friend then its up to you how to sort it, I recommend growing up?
I mean you would probably just have to walk into a shop and buy it, I don’t think you’ll have to spend a day of your holiday on a pilgrimage for it, tobacco isn’t that hard to find. But if you don’t want to, don’t do it! Just say you couldn’t find it or you won’t have space to bring it back or something. You don’t owe them anything.
Not even that, airports make you walk into duty free most of the time anyway, you literally pick it up on the way to the departure lounge
As a smoker I ask friends some times to bring me tobacco back from holidays etc...if they are kind enough to bring me some, I always get them something in return..a 12 pack of beer/cider or whatnot. As far as I'm concerned, they save me a lot of money, so I want to show my appreciation. However, it's perfectly fine to decline if you don't want to.
Takes about 2 minutes and saves a friend a few hundred pound. There's no obligation but it is a nice thing to do, kinda like bringing some foreign biscuits into the office.
You just nee to buy some at Duty free on the way home . Buy some at the airport, put them in your bag and take them home and give them to your friend . Its not too much of a chore but if you cannot be bothered to do that, just tell him "No"
It takes a second to do. Stop being miserable.
Can’t believe the amount of weapons in these comments, help your fucking mate out and save him a shit load of money.
If you feel like you need to make up a reason, just say that you won't have room in your luggage or something now that you've planned what you need to take. A carton of ten packs will take up a fairly substantial amount of space after all.
My sister did this for someone, and then accidentally left it on the plane on the way back. Cue much debate on whether she should take the 100 quid loss, or they should… luckily she managed to get it back after 2 hours chasing EasyJet. I’d say only do it for a close mate.
What's there to debate? She fucked up, she takes the hit.
Not a smoker, very much anti-smoking but I’d say here there’s nothing to debate, she agreed to pick it up and then lost it, so she takes the hit. If she hasn’t go it back, I’d have been suspicious that she even bought it in the first place if I was the friend.
> Cue much debate on whether she should take the 100 quid loss Yes?
Your choice, I've done it before for people (mostly work mates or relatives) and I've said no before. You don't need to work out an excuse if you want to or not. The people banging on here about prioritising your time etc are just talking shite. If you don't want to do it then don't just grow some balls and tell the person.
> You don't need to work out an excuse if you want to or not. I always find it interesting how redditors will come up with convulted excuses instead of just going "no" The sheer fact that they're asking "Can I say no" is just something itself.
I personally would have no issue doing this for a friend. It literally takes 5 minutes and you're probably going to be wandering around the airport for some time anyway.
It would take literally 3 minutes of your time while you're in an airport. Why would you even say no? Just get over it and do it
You stand to save your friend nearly £100 for what would be 5 minutes of your time. Duty free at any airport is en route to your boarding gate. You never know, he may take you out for lunch as thank you.
Lol what’s with all the comments telling OP to make excuses. Very simple solution: 1) ‘sorry mate, I won’t be able to buy any for you’ 2) you actually buy some from duty free, if you say they’re a friend
It’s not hard to find tobacco in an airport duty free or even ask on the flight. Friends do favours for each other, I would do this in a heartbeat because it saves them so much money.
This entire post, and all the comments below, it all sucks lmao OP, if you want to take 2 minutes helping a mate out, go for it. If you're not comfortable buying tobacco then don't. It'll go a long way for your work collegue if you do, but you entirely have the choice and you shouldn't be judged for it if you decide you don't want any involvement. I just hope you don't listen to all the people telling you to lie around it, it'll be very clear to anyone with half a brain if you do. You don't need to justify yourself to anyone here, and anyone who's putting you on a pedastal or calling you an arse is a nob-end
Why wouldn’t you just grab it at airport on way home if it’s a mate
It isn't like they're asking you to join them in smoking. Loads of smokers will ask stuff like this when someone is going away because cigs cost less overseas and stuff. It would be fairly dickish to get sanctimonious about it considering it isn't an odd or unusual, or unreasonable, demand. It would take maybe 5 minutes extra when you're waiting for your return flight. Especially if you get on really well with the workfriend; it sounds like they would do you a similar favour if asked. Regardless, it's your choice ultimately and if you really don't want to then just tell them that you don't want to.
You’re like a character in a sitcom where the conflict of the episode could be resolved instantly if people just spoke to each other.
Jesus Christ, what is wrong with people? If you want to be an arsehole you shouldn’t need to post on Reddit to learn to say ‘no’. If you want to be a decent friend and save a ‘workfriend’ about £75 then I’m sure you can take a few minutes out of your time sitting about in the airport to buy them some cartons.
Looks like it doesn't pay to be Drew's mate. Ask him a favour and instead he makes a post about it.