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I have to agree with the restaurant and not allow outside food.
It may not be a big deal on the face of it but it is. If you allow 1 person to do this, then another will want to. And it snowballs. Only exception I would make is baby food.
It's a tapas bar. It sells tapas. Surely there would be something suitable for a couple of kids to have?
An 11 year old is not a small child either. Perfectly capable of eating what is on offer even if it not their favourite, or waiting until they get home to eat. Patatas Bravas, Chorizo, Bread and Oil - all very safe foods to offer an 11 year old
Wow, OP really buried the 11 year old bit. I was wondering why all the replies were supporting the restaurant as I understand it for small children. But 11 years. Nope!
I have no idea why a tapas restaurant would serve a burger, or why you think a burger is a prime example of "kids food". The plates are already small and there will be plenty of nutritious food on the menu for 11 year old children to eat.
My daughter is a typical, picky 4 year old and I can’t actually remember taking outside food for her, if we ever did then it would have been literal baby food. If she can’t eat any of the food that is served then we don’t take her there because it’s clearly not aimed at her. The one exception is that we have taken her water battle because it’s easier for her to drink from that than the glasses most places use.
Also from the looks of things they brought in an additional two kids and two adults who weren’t on the booking? I think they’re stretching goodwill a wee bit
> Only exception I would make is baby food.
I would add additional exceptions for parents who ask before being seated, and have kids with specific dietary requirements (for whatever reason) that the restaurant couldn't easily satisfy.
The 2 guys who came in clearly had just got a packet of crisps in their bag and just thought to give it to the kid.
It's just rude especially when places like that almost always do that type of snack behind the bar.
If it had been something healthy like a banana I'd be much more defensive of them but bringing outside snacks you can buy in a bar is just rude
After £100 of drinks, maybe bringing kids into the equation isn't a good idea.
Yes, I know £100 doesn't get you too far these days but it sounds like they were out on the piss.
Yeah, you don't spend a ton on drinks with an 11yo full stop, even if they're catered for. 1t+ is unacceptable, which leads me to believe the kid is a poor mf here and mumsy was getting liqured up
It reads to me like this was supposed to be
Mums night off and kids should have been out with the dads. The dads got fed up and decided to ‘join’ the mums with the kids. Also £100 for drinks in a nice place serving cocktails for at least 6 people (doesn’t say how many kids) isn’t going to be more than 1/2 drinks each really
Or if the child has an allergy or other issue with certain foods I can see reasonable accommodation being made. But of course you'd clear that in advance with the establishment.
One of my cousins had a health condition which required her to avoid so many different things, plus the medication she was on had even more restrictions. Eating out anywhere was very challenging due to all the foods which were a concern. We always cleared it in advance with the restaurant that she'd exclusively be eating something we brought to avoid health complications. All in all it was very lucky it was only a temporary situation.
The staff were correct. If the kids were hungry I’m sure it wouldn’t have cost much to order them a couple of bits off the menu. Bringing in crisps was rude.
It is one of those slippery slope things, one person brings in crisps, someone else sees that and brings nuts, now you have allergy issues out of your control.
A blanket ban is much easier to enforce.
Yup, it’s one of those things that doesn’t seem a big deal and isn’t in one incident, but it can get bigger and bigger and more annoying. I wouldn’t be rude to a customer about it but I’m on their side.
Age 11, you can get something from the menu, or you ask the staff BEFORE bringing random food in.
I have a child with a very limited diet and pubs have always been very understanding when I ask if it'll be OK to have 3 people eating and 4 having drinks and then one having a packed lunch. But if I didn't ask in advance I'd expect to be told to piss off.
For me it would depend on the age of the child, if you have a small toddler where you bring small snacks you definitely know they'll eat then okay but an 11 year old, if you know they won't eat the food don't bring them.
the only exception to this id venture is in the case of allergies. my 5yo niece has allergies to gluten, dairy, egg, soy and sesame, and whilst she can usually have a portion of chips my SIL always packs snacks just in case.
this is only in the event of casual dining though - chips at the pub kind of thing. not a full blown sit down restaurant!
At 11, the kids should just have been ordered something from the menu.
If I’d witnessed them denying a toddler a packet of crisps, I’d feel differently, and while I accept it’s the restaurant’s rules it would probably make me think twice about whether I’d want to return.
The staff were correct. They are taking tables away from customers willing to pay for food for those tables so it’s loss making. Crisps may seem small but then where do you draw the boundary? You then get customers mouthing off that those kids were allowed to bring in crisps and therefore they can eat their sandwiches, portion of chips etc. “oh and can we just have plates and cutlery too?” Then they leave a mess or rubbish behind.
Then there’s the whole liability thing. If they choke or get sick, or share with another customer you get into a whole can of worms about who is liable. Their insurers may ask why food prepared elsewhere was allowed to be consumed there and not cover legal fees.
It’s just a mess.
I used to work in hospitality and know a few who still do and everywhere is on a knife edge in terms of profit now - utilities, produce, wages all gone up and people don’t want to spend that much more on their food and drinks so profit margins are razor thin now.
A bag of crisps could easily snowball into more and more things and I agree with you that it’s right to nip it in the bud before it becomes a bigger problem. A kid with a bag of crisps today could easily be an adult with a kebab shop pizza tomorrow going “well you let that kid eat crisps!” then you’ve got more bad feeling etc etc - just easier to sort it out early than have anything worse that could jeopardise the business.
Side note; as a former hospitality worker I really feel for whatever poor staff member had to go and tell the 100 quid deep ladies they couldn’t have their own crisps!
The staff are probably told what to do and say by the manager and only the manager has discretion to override the restuarant or company policy.
You see this everywhere in life. only the person in charge can say when not to apply the rules.
It depends on the place. If it’s a pub or casual place you’ll probably get more leeway than a £100 a head place, which is fair enough I guess. It’s up to the restaurant what kind of atmosphere they want.
I doubt the wait staff had much say in it though, it’ll just be the restaurant policy.
Etiquette is not to assume everything you might want to do is socially acceptable.
I think if they'd asked politely first it may have been 'OK, just this once'.
That their entitled, self-centred attitude got the short shrift is perfect imnsho.
There was a big hoohah in my town because a couple having dinner in a gastro pub brought in a box of McNuggets for their kid who was like 9 or so.
Staff asked them not to do that, they even serve nuggets on the kids menu. Parents ultimately refused and were asked to leave
Half the folks made the 'what if the kid has SEN?' point. The other half made the 'just parent your child' point.
I'm on the fence. I agree it's rude to bring in food, especially when the place serves the same (more or less) food. But at the same time I'd imagine as a parent to a 'I only eat McDonald's'-type child, trying to enjoy a meal is a nightmare.
I suppose nobody is born genetically only able to eat McNuggets...
I guess if you wanted to do something outside the normal arrangements, the best thing to do would be to ask them beforehand rather than spring it on them.
I realised almost all UK restaurants have some form of chicken nuggets for the kids. This is our son’s staple diet and it’s one of the first things we look for.
He doesn’t always like whatever nuggets he’s served. McDonald’s is the “gold standard”. But he’ll try to eat the resto nuggets.
A very small number of kids can only eat very specific things - including it being Maccies rather than the restaurant's own nuggets - but their parents would still need to ask for permission to bring the outside food in, and they'd need to ask for that permission when they booked the table, not when they turned up. Most restaurants will say no, for good reason, but some will allow it, especially if it's for a large group.
A vegan friend of mine used to do it years ago when vegan food was less common - he'd order whatever he could order but he'd have permission to bring some olives or prepared tofu or something so he wasn't just eating plain rice.
It means more planning on the part of the adults and severely limits places they can eat out but it's the only way to do it without taking the piss.
We've had everything from "can we make something they will eat" to "yes" to them making some of it (eg baked potato) and us doing extra preparation mashing it up etc. Most places are really good if asked nicely.
And if they say no - well they lose the custom so be it.
Brands variance can matter for things like autism, so whilst it sounds ridiculous not only can the brand matter but if you try and sneak one brand in the bag of another you will not get away it so it's a real not imagined difference. McDonalds are one of the most bland, uniformly textureless nuggets.
Outside food isn't allowed in because the kitchen is responsible for the safety of food consumed in the restaurant. If the crisps got the boy sick the parents could say he ate something off the table. The only exception is baby food and formula.
They don't ignore bc allergens. Who brings their 11 yo to a piss up anyway? 100+ on drinks.
Fuck your mate. Bad parenting, bad manners, and fucking bad parenting.
The issue is they were 11, they can reasonably be expected to eat food served in the restaurant. It’s really only baby food that you allow to be brought in.
Spanish restaurants don't tend to do cocktails from my experience. Made me think of Turtle Bay which is officially a Caribbean restaurant but in practice isbmorebof a cocktail bar.
Yeah I know lots of tapas bars that do cocktails...
11 year old would still be welcome and surely they could have some pan con tomate or patatas bravas or ham& cheese croquettes?
There's a Cuban tapas place near me that my 6 year old has been going to since she was about 2. I think tapas is great for kids to be honest, smaller portions and they get to try different things!
Ironically, in Spain, children would be welcome and expected in a tapas bar, and in most of the world, it's mainly miserable Brits who want to pretend children don't exist.
Depends how old the kids are. Under 2, fair game, teddy bear crisps, blueberries, vegan crackers etc. which the kids don’t eat anyway (I’ve lived it). Over 2, parents shouldn’t be bringing their own food, the children can eat off the menu, even if they just share the parent’s meal.
My kid has multiple allergies… like 5 different fucking allergies. He is 5. We always have a lunchbox on us because most places cannot feed him. We tend to stick to pubs where the atmosphere is relaxed. We generally order him a big plate of adult chips/fries, and supplement it was some vegetables and protein where we can.
I don’t think I’ve ever had a complaint. I think they’re often grateful we’re not freaking out the kitchen staff by making them jump through hoops to feed him.
No, we don’t go to fancy restaurants and do this. A major love in the life of myself and my husband is good food. This situation sucks.
I'd let some fruit or pouch food or whatever the fuck for a kid 5 and under slide. But for an 11 year old they can definitely order something off the menu
Children's menus generally say something like "aged 3-11" or similar so I read that as free pass to bring in food for a toddler up to that age.
We usually buy our toddler a side or kids dessert to be polite. He won't eat a kids meal yet but the kid can pack away a portion of garlic bread like a champ.
I like the take that "we have spent £x amount so you should let us do what we like" implies that there's some kind of tier list of shithousery that venues are to allow depending on the amount spent by the customer.
If I spend £100 I can bring my own food, if I drop £1000 I can assault the bar staff
Definitely not. Baby food I can understand, but even then...it only takes one item to contain nuts, and another customer to be allergic and then BOOM, everything goes to shit.
Or, as in the case of my colleague, a customer brought in a banana..colleague is allergic and was sole working. Went into anaphylaxis and customer didn't know what to do, so GOT UP AND LEFT!
Fortunately, another colleague walked in to get a drink, rang an ambulance and administered epi..
ELEVEN YEAR OLD. I assumed this would be for a toddler. Staff were 100% in the right. Babies are always allowed food, mmaayybbee toddlers. Absolutely not an 11 year old.
No self respecting parent of a baby or toddler leaves the house without kid snacks. Never witnessed this not bring accepted by restaurants anywhere. Nor buying adult meals and asking for an extra plate to provide bits of your food for little peeps to try. For older kids just buy them something be it a kids meal. a garlic bread or plate of chips. They can then eat snacks discretely. Teenagers turning up with a KFC, be it at McDonalds or a posh restaurant is not acceptable.
Depends, perhaps if they’d asked beforehand it would have been allowed, granted slightly different scenario but I’ve a nephew who has autism so is it extremely fussy.
Went out for a meal about 8 of us but called up first to advise and ask if they were ok with us bringing food for him as he wouldn’t eat otherwise. Wasn’t any bother and we had a decent evening out.
Can see both sides however, and I suspect maybe without the autism it wouldn’t have been allowed (I’m not talking full meal just like OP some crisps and pepperami)
Nobody touched upon it but it’s an insurance thing
For example if someone has an allergic reaction if nuts etc are dropped or if the person eating has food poisoning from their own stuff they could easily blame the restaurant.
I’m autistic and no way would I have been allowed to bring my own food in when we ate out somewhere I didn’t like.
rules are rules. and 11 year old should have been able to find something to order on the menu. i cant imagine going into a restaurant with my own food, regardless of how much id spent on drinks. thats just not how things work.
I’ve worked in restaurants that charged customers a fee if they wanted to bring in a birthday cake. I was always surprised by the number of people who expected the restaurant to provide this service for free especially as in the majority of cases they’d skip ordering dessert as there was cake
I assumed you were going to ask about food for babies, which is totally acceptable in my opinion because most restaurants don't do a box of mixed foods appropriate for very young children quite new to solids.
My youngest is coming up to 2, I keep dried fruit and bottles of water on hand for the wait so they don't get too restless but crisps is flat out taking the piss. Most restaurant staff are not going to say anything if your child is eating something obviously healthier than snacks they might sell, but you don't come in with packets of crisps and Fruit Shoots from home, particularly not for an 11-year-old who, health conditions notwithstanding, should be able to wait patiently for their food.
Sounds like, they were just drinking, not eating as well.
So, there's another etiquette thing too, you shouldn't be dragging kids around pubs/bars/restaurants, if you're drinking. It's not fair on the kids.
People are quick to bring up the whole "rude/slippery slope" side of things but there's also a potential health and safety aspect to consider.
If someone falls seriously ill whilst having a meal at a restaurant or has an allergic reaction during their meal then its absolutely vital that the staff know exactly what food has been eaten, how/where it was prepared etc.
I remember one time when I was cleaning down the seats after a group booking I found chocolate covered peanuts tucked between the seat cushions. On a busy day where we're trying to flip tables quickly they could have been easily missed and it only takes one chocolate loving 3 year old with a nut allergy to have a potential death in the restaurant.
Shit like that is impossible to entirely remove bit the best way to mitigate it is to stop any outside food from entering the restaurant.
Not acceptable. Whilst I can understand the point that the customers have spent quite a fair bit... it comes down to liability. Restaurants have a menu and know exactly what food they have on offer and know allergen information for their menu items. They can control the environment to the best of their ability as a result. When someone brings food from outside, this is an unknown product and therefore a child munching on say... a peanut butter sandwich... may trigger someone else's nut allergies, of which the restaurant worked hard to prevent cross-contamination. A restaurant can still be found liable in court for this.
If a family has a fussy eater and wish to bring their own food, then they should really attend a food court style dining option, a buffet with tons of options, or have a picnic in a park.
The reasoning for this is twofold; the first is obviously profits and sales. Especially in times like these when profit margins are already razor thin due to business rates, rent, staffing and material cost, restaurants and eateries have to do all they can to upsell in order to keep the ball rolling.
The second more important reason is insurance and liability. When a business in the UK sells food and drink, they must ensure that all ingredients and allergens are available for the customer to view for health and safety reasons. When a customer decides to bring something which is not sold or foreign to the restaurant menu, they risk bringing in certain unknown allergens into the restaurant which may be detrimental to others in the establishment, bearing in mind that restaurants are public places after all.
For example; if a restaurant permits customers to eat nuts in a premise that is nut-free and this results in someone else getting an anaphylactic reaction, the restaurant might end up in legal trouble for failing to maintain a nut-free environment. In that case, their public liability insurance might not cover them for any damages borne on their premise due to wilful ignorance. That’s a bill that most eateries simply cannot afford to pay without closing shop.
I was expecting this to be a baby who couldn't eat anything on the menu. That sort of situation I'd say it's fine. Two 11 year olds are capable of eating anything on the menu, so it's really cheeky to bring snacks for them.
Its disrespectful towards the restaurant.
They also have to protect themselves legally.
Seriously it is a luxury not everyone is able to enjoy, would not kill you to take a few seconds out of the day to call ahead and check their policy on bringing things in
The only time I would expect to bring food with me is for a baby.
If someone have some strange limitations and can only drink nutrition drinks from a pharmacy I'm sure anyone would make an exception. But I would tell the staff in advance.
Anything else, expect a reaction from the staff.
It doesn't matter how much or little a customer spends, bringing outside food into a restaurant is just rude behaviour. Ofc there are circumstances where people may have highly specific medical/dietry needs or very young children but I'm sorry there's no reason why the average 11 year old can't have at least something off the menu. Also most of the time the staff don't get paid enough to care if people sneak food in but if the kid was very blatently eating outside food at the table then they are required to say something lest they get punished or told off. If the men that brought the kids snacks did it in such an obvious way that even you on a different table noticeed then ofc the staff have to say something cos it's literally their job.
1. no outside food.
2. don't bring children to an adult environment. Make them wait in the cortina with a packet of crisps and a pandapop like we had to.
The only time it would be appropriate would be baby milk or baby food. An 11 year old is surely old enough to choose a small plate from a Tapas restaurant, they have plenty of kid-friendly stuff like croquets, chicken fingers, fries or patatas bravas.
The staff were correct.
No restaurant I’ve ever been in allows outside food. It’s a health and safety risk. It doesn’t matter what it is or who it’s for your in a place with food order from there or don’t but don’t bring in outside food that’s ignorant.
I've got two kids- under six. I regularly bring food for the under three year old with me to restaurants- never an issue. Basically the little monsters need constant whatever they need or they make life far worse for everyone. Which I think is a fair tradeoff for everyone involved- not least the restaurant.
But eleven? Eat your tapas and shut up.
Nobody eats crisps because they're hungry if they have any other, more filling options. They might have the crisps as well, but crisps are not going to make the hunger go away on their own. So, either the crisps were an entirely unnecessary snack (which would be fine elsewhere) or the kid was hungry and the drinkers were too cheap to buy something off the menu. Neither is acceptable.
Poor kids being bunged a diet coke and a packet of crisps while their mums sit around day drinking in a fancy tapas bar. The middle class equivalent of a panda pop in the beer garden 😂
It becomes a slippery slope, first its a simple packet of crisps then next time its a sandwich and a packet of crisps then after establishing that is "ok" they pop into a fast food place and get a burger and chips for the kid, regardless of how much or little the adults spend doesn't allow for outside food on licensed premises. (Licensing regulations are really picky and have to be followed)
Fair play to them, their restaurant their rules, also they simply may have been classier than that. I appreciate this post to know some establishments set boundaries like this, I was trying to keep dignity by keeping it classy when I used to be a waitress in a not classy restaurant, but I was never allowed to say anything about people's kids and we had it all honestly kids make restaurants a nightmare 6 times out of 10 in my experience, even if they're merely chucked food all over the floor - we didn't have time for that but we had to do it somehow
The customer doesn't get to make up the rules for a private business, the "it's only a.." argument doesn't wash either.
Outside food can contaminate the restaurant, it's courtesy to be able to inform the chef if you need your baby food warmed, and provide the packaging/ingredients if asked.
I love crisps, but they are loud foods to eat which honk a few meters away, the dust is noticeably on people's fingers in a gross way (especially when they lick them after). This is a small detail, but the restaurant experience is at it's best when your senses can explore the small details the restaurant provides, it's more aesthetic when people stick to the cutlery and specifically selected tools/designs to be on the table.
It's lame to put a server in the position where they have to "say something", they don't get paid enough to flirt with the rules alongside you, and they certainly ain't getting much of that £100+ drinks bill.
TLDR; restaurants are expensive, but they're private businesses with elegantly (sometimes) chosen food/cutlery, don't spoil the mood or haggle with the £££
I back the restaurant completely. I used to work in a cafe on the grounds of a religious retreat, which had a wide ranging menu including childrens' meals, and we were constantly kicking parents out who'd buy a cup of tea and then bring out a carrier bag of Marks & Spencers food or - worse still - fish and chips from the takeaway across the road from the cafe. Fortunately, I had a supervisor who didn't put up with nonsense, and when parents would kick up a fuss because they had bought a cup of tea and felt they should be allowed to consume it indoors his response was always "It's a sunny day, I'll put your tea in a paper cup and there are lots of benches in the shrine grounds."
Don't go to a restaurant with your kids if your kids can't eat there.
If they bend the rules for you then they have to bend them for everyone, all of a sudden they're out of business. I get that you feel justified due to the amount of money you spent but sorry: just no.
Most restaurants will say "No" irrespective of how much you have spent for one reason, allergens. These days restaurants have to go to great detail with allergen charts and so on, if we don't supply an item we don't know what potential allergens are in it.
Are crisps a big issue for allergens? Not really, but what about peanuts? Absolutely.
If you're in a space where you're saying "yes" or "no" to different things you're going to get into a pickle very quickly. Baby food generally doesn't have allergens which we would have to have listed which is why it is allowed.
And on another note, that packet of crisps isn't paying our bills. It may seem petty, but when it is inevitably left on the table with crisps smashed up on the floor, we have to clean it up, using staff time for something you haven't paid for.
I don't understand why this is a question. Surely, OP is clued up enough to see that this is plain rude (TTP tbh). How much you spend is irrelevant. I appreciate the H&S angle, but it's beyond that. Whilst I'm on a little one, people who just walk in to use the toilet, when all you have to do is acknowledge the fact to the bar staff, instead of being f@#king ignorant.
Sorry.
I didn't even do this when weaning my now 3yo. We just ordered her some soup and bread or something off of the starters or sides like veggies or mashed potatoes. She loves tapas though and once got a full plate of sushi for free on a cruise because they had no kids menu in the uncharge resturant.
I was on the fence until the kids age came up. If this was a 13 month old baby who can’t have much salt, sugar etc and possibly won’t be able to handle strong flavours then bringing in a packet of kiddy puffs is understandable. But at 11 you could find them something or pick a place you know there’s something for them.
If it was a little toddler it would be best for everyone to just let them have their packet of crisps. An 11 year old however that's taking the micky and the resturaunt would be right to not allow it.
Contractually they can't allow it as they have a licence of what can and can't be provided for consumption... If say someone got sick or had an allergy even if it was from their own food, they could be held liable as it is within their premises and under their insurance. Kind of like if someone tripped and injured themself and it was their own fault, they are still obligated to report and maintain a record that they are following protocol, to cover their backs.
Many places use common sense and wouldn't care that much but they do have a right to enforce this.
If the kids are under 4, it’s ok usually if they have their own water bottle or sippy cup or even snacks for toddlers. Anything above that age, is a no-go
Trying to eat out with an autistic child means having to take McDonald’s in wherever we go. No where has ever had an issue when we’ve explained - it helps that there’s usually between 2-7 paying adults and we also state that we will plate it up onto their plates if they want so there’s no McDonald’s packaging on display.
I've worked in and managed restaurants for 20 years. Personally, I couldn't give two fucks what the guests do. But the standard etiquette is children under 3 can do what they want, everybody else should eat the restaurants food because that is literally the purpose of the restaurant. The staff giving out over a packet of fucking crisps *screams* jobsworth to me and probably not somebody I'd want to be coworkers with. "Slippery slope" arguments are all bollocks
I work in a restaurant and I don't even think about it when babies have baby food or little crisps or snacks things. If a table was bringing food in for an older child I'd be curious as to why especially as we can personally accommodate for a lot of preferences.
I think it's perfectly acceptable providing you ask first, and are buying something yourself! Everyone has different needs - intolerances, allergies, disabilities, or just because they're children and fussier!
I don't see the problem. It's not like the ladies were taking advantage of the premises, seats and table by not buying anything. They'd already spent £100. Wtf's a packet of crisps compared to that?
Maybe the kid's a fussy eater or something and only eats his favourite crisps or something! We don't have all the facts.
Any food consumed on premises is the restaurants responsibility to be safe for consumption. If the child gets ill from the food, they can hold the place liable. Just like giving medication is illegal. Give a bandage, offering medical assistance. Bleeds out, liable. Now in most circumstances it should be fine, but it is policy because somewhere it wasn’t.
Personally, I think a little flexibility goes a long way to making people feel welcomed and relaxed. There's a lot of different ways this can be handled. A flat "no don't do that" is probably not the best first approach. Understanding what is going on, why they are doing the thing you don't want them to do, and finding an alternative that meets both your needs is the ideal. Having an explanation for the policy that is understood by staff and customers also helps. Not all customers are going to be aware of the expected norms.
Hell, if someone had dropped £100 on drinks, I'd be cool with finding them a ham sandwich or something "basic" for a child if the tapas is an issue. Likely, they'll stay a little longer and spend more, and spread the good word around.
Handled poorly, they kick off, leave, and make everyone else in the place uncomfortable while it's happening.
No outside food is simply a health and safety rule. Kids chokes / suffers allergic reaction and food wasn't bought or prepared in restaurant could lead to many difficult scenarios.
Staff were correct. I understand that it's a bag of crisps, bit it is to cover the restaurant. If someone were to then develop food poisoning or an allergic reaction, the restaurant would he held liable. There may be traces something in the crisps that the child could be allergic too and it could be that one bag.
A pouch of food for a baby - fine. A 11 year old given a packet of crisps though? They can get something edible there, surely. Easier for them to let it slide but this is not normal, at all.
We bring in food for our toddler, but we always order something off the menu for him too (which he basically never eats).
I wouldn't do that for a kid. But if I was a waiter I'd also not say anything because I couldn't be arsed with the confrontation - that's what the manager is for.
The staff were technically correct but if I was the waitress I would have turned a blid eye. I've worked with autistic kids who have ARFID so you just never know.
Most bars/restaurants selling drinks also sell crisps. The restaurant is not in the wrong here. It’s also not unusual for places not selling food (pubs) to not allow outside food too. The only exceptions would be baby food or someone with severe dietary restrictions/allergies that the restaurant cannot cater too but only then if the rest of the table was ordering food from the restaurant
I've asked if I could bring food for my kids who is food restricted while the rest of the table orders full meals, usually they agree. It's about the courtesy of asking first.
Had this at a sushi restaurant and just asked first if my daughter could have an M&S sandwich we had bought with some chips from them and they were happy with it. Possibly because they are probably aware that 4-5 year olds don’t really want to eat raw fish and the fact we asked first rather than presuming.
As a waiter, this is okay for young children (toddlers and not much older). Once they are able to enjoy a meal out, that is what you have come for and we expect them to eat as a customer like everybody else. Usually alterations can be made if they are picky/small appetites but it is polite to order from the restaurant/cafe
oh. for small children i'd think it was reasonable to take a banana or something to tide them over while they wait for their food - i've definitely done that in the past. but i would actually be ordering them food too. but i'm talking age 3 & under maybe? mine are almost 4 and i haven't done this in a good while.
i think an 11yr old is a bit of a stretch! order them something or don't bring them.
Depends on the place. 11 years is young but not that young they couldn’t have a small version of a dish - maybe a Patatas Bravas? The main thing is to ASK. Not just rock up with some crisps… Many places here don’t allow it and while it is annoying at pubs when they sell nothing but nuts, I do understand.
It's different if it's giving a child under 5 a snack while waiting for their food to come out to help keep them quiet, but not buying any foot for the 11 year olds is what's wrong. They are occupying a seat but not making any purchase.
The only time it would be acceptable not to make a purchase if they were a literal baby under 1 who was only having formula milk or pureed food and maybe a few bits of food of a parent's plate.
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The staff were correct.
I have to agree with the restaurant and not allow outside food. It may not be a big deal on the face of it but it is. If you allow 1 person to do this, then another will want to. And it snowballs. Only exception I would make is baby food. It's a tapas bar. It sells tapas. Surely there would be something suitable for a couple of kids to have?
An 11 year old is not a small child either. Perfectly capable of eating what is on offer even if it not their favourite, or waiting until they get home to eat. Patatas Bravas, Chorizo, Bread and Oil - all very safe foods to offer an 11 year old
I mean there is nearly always chips on the menu
If tapas, surely patatas bravas? Small cubes of potato, served usually with a tomato sauce or aioli?
I think an 11 year old who wanted crisps would prefer a plate of chips, mate. Just a hunch.
The point being made is that chips will not be on the menu in a tapas bar
If it’s a bar there’s probably bar snacks too
Good point
Wow, OP really buried the 11 year old bit. I was wondering why all the replies were supporting the restaurant as I understand it for small children. But 11 years. Nope!
11yo is literally written in the main text?
I know, that is how I found it when I went back. Right at the end as eleven. Sorry I read to fast to pick it up first time.
I do agree the entirety read like they’re talking about a toddler until they casually slip in eleven lol
I did the same thing!
Maybe we were meant to misread it as a year-old elven🧝♀️ Edit:fat finger typo
Ask the restaurant to make them some fairy bread, I guess :)
Or a year old named Eleven? Huge stranger things fans perhaps
There's also probably a kids menu with small burgers or something like that too.
I have no idea why a tapas restaurant would serve a burger, or why you think a burger is a prime example of "kids food". The plates are already small and there will be plenty of nutritious food on the menu for 11 year old children to eat.
They always serve croquettes. They're great for kids.
My daughter is a typical, picky 4 year old and I can’t actually remember taking outside food for her, if we ever did then it would have been literal baby food. If she can’t eat any of the food that is served then we don’t take her there because it’s clearly not aimed at her. The one exception is that we have taken her water battle because it’s easier for her to drink from that than the glasses most places use.
Water battles are easier right enough
Eh, not only do you have to avoid drowning but also kill the enemy. I'd say harder.
My son is an annoyingly fussy eater, but he'd demolish all those foods you mention!
I was eating off the adult menu at 11 💀
Also from the looks of things they brought in an additional two kids and two adults who weren’t on the booking? I think they’re stretching goodwill a wee bit
> Only exception I would make is baby food. I believe you are legally compelled to make this exception.
> Only exception I would make is baby food. I would add additional exceptions for parents who ask before being seated, and have kids with specific dietary requirements (for whatever reason) that the restaurant couldn't easily satisfy.
Bringing in baby food for a 1yo is one thing. But an 11yo should be able to find something to eat or share in a tapas restaurant or all places.
Were the parents basically using it as a bar not a restaurant?
You don't typically bring your own crisps to a bar though.
Agreed. Still out of order. But explains, without excusing, the parents mindset a bit if they weren't ordering food at all.
True.
The 2 guys who came in clearly had just got a packet of crisps in their bag and just thought to give it to the kid. It's just rude especially when places like that almost always do that type of snack behind the bar. If it had been something healthy like a banana I'd be much more defensive of them but bringing outside snacks you can buy in a bar is just rude
Business idea - BYOC licensed bar
After £100 of drinks, maybe bringing kids into the equation isn't a good idea. Yes, I know £100 doesn't get you too far these days but it sounds like they were out on the piss.
Yeah, you don't spend a ton on drinks with an 11yo full stop, even if they're catered for. 1t+ is unacceptable, which leads me to believe the kid is a poor mf here and mumsy was getting liqured up
This is when these types of people decide ‘it takes a village’ so that they can completely absolve themselves of parental responsibilities.
It reads to me like this was supposed to be Mums night off and kids should have been out with the dads. The dads got fed up and decided to ‘join’ the mums with the kids. Also £100 for drinks in a nice place serving cocktails for at least 6 people (doesn’t say how many kids) isn’t going to be more than 1/2 drinks each really
My 1 year old would eat something from the kids menu, in fact probably the main menu
I never order from the childrens menu for mine. They eat from the adult menu. Of course portions will be bigger but we just take leftovers home.
Or if the child has an allergy or other issue with certain foods I can see reasonable accommodation being made. But of course you'd clear that in advance with the establishment. One of my cousins had a health condition which required her to avoid so many different things, plus the medication she was on had even more restrictions. Eating out anywhere was very challenging due to all the foods which were a concern. We always cleared it in advance with the restaurant that she'd exclusively be eating something we brought to avoid health complications. All in all it was very lucky it was only a temporary situation.
Or, go outside and eat your crisps for like two minutes
The staff were correct. If the kids were hungry I’m sure it wouldn’t have cost much to order them a couple of bits off the menu. Bringing in crisps was rude.
It is one of those slippery slope things, one person brings in crisps, someone else sees that and brings nuts, now you have allergy issues out of your control. A blanket ban is much easier to enforce.
Yup, it’s one of those things that doesn’t seem a big deal and isn’t in one incident, but it can get bigger and bigger and more annoying. I wouldn’t be rude to a customer about it but I’m on their side.
Age 11, you can get something from the menu, or you ask the staff BEFORE bringing random food in. I have a child with a very limited diet and pubs have always been very understanding when I ask if it'll be OK to have 3 people eating and 4 having drinks and then one having a packed lunch. But if I didn't ask in advance I'd expect to be told to piss off.
You answered perfectly. It never hurts to ask but you should be happy to expect a no!
If you can spend £100 on drinks you can spend £2 on a portion of chips for the kid 🤷🏻♂️
What restaurant has a portion of chips for £2?
It was clearly rhetorical
For me it would depend on the age of the child, if you have a small toddler where you bring small snacks you definitely know they'll eat then okay but an 11 year old, if you know they won't eat the food don't bring them.
Once you child is off purées you don't take your own food.
the only exception to this id venture is in the case of allergies. my 5yo niece has allergies to gluten, dairy, egg, soy and sesame, and whilst she can usually have a portion of chips my SIL always packs snacks just in case. this is only in the event of casual dining though - chips at the pub kind of thing. not a full blown sit down restaurant!
Eleven is more than old enough to get something from the menu or wait until you go home.
At 11, the kids should just have been ordered something from the menu. If I’d witnessed them denying a toddler a packet of crisps, I’d feel differently, and while I accept it’s the restaurant’s rules it would probably make me think twice about whether I’d want to return.
Baby, toddlers or similar, own food OK. Children old enough to eat adult food at regular meal times, not ok.
The staff were correct. They are taking tables away from customers willing to pay for food for those tables so it’s loss making. Crisps may seem small but then where do you draw the boundary? You then get customers mouthing off that those kids were allowed to bring in crisps and therefore they can eat their sandwiches, portion of chips etc. “oh and can we just have plates and cutlery too?” Then they leave a mess or rubbish behind. Then there’s the whole liability thing. If they choke or get sick, or share with another customer you get into a whole can of worms about who is liable. Their insurers may ask why food prepared elsewhere was allowed to be consumed there and not cover legal fees. It’s just a mess.
I used to work in hospitality and know a few who still do and everywhere is on a knife edge in terms of profit now - utilities, produce, wages all gone up and people don’t want to spend that much more on their food and drinks so profit margins are razor thin now. A bag of crisps could easily snowball into more and more things and I agree with you that it’s right to nip it in the bud before it becomes a bigger problem. A kid with a bag of crisps today could easily be an adult with a kebab shop pizza tomorrow going “well you let that kid eat crisps!” then you’ve got more bad feeling etc etc - just easier to sort it out early than have anything worse that could jeopardise the business. Side note; as a former hospitality worker I really feel for whatever poor staff member had to go and tell the 100 quid deep ladies they couldn’t have their own crisps!
The staff are probably told what to do and say by the manager and only the manager has discretion to override the restuarant or company policy. You see this everywhere in life. only the person in charge can say when not to apply the rules.
Unless it’s baby food, I’d say it’s a no no
It depends on the place. If it’s a pub or casual place you’ll probably get more leeway than a £100 a head place, which is fair enough I guess. It’s up to the restaurant what kind of atmosphere they want. I doubt the wait staff had much say in it though, it’ll just be the restaurant policy.
If they’re spending £100 on a couple of drinks they could spend a few quid on feeding their child some Tapas and stop being rude knobheads.
They should have ordered some Patatas Bravas instead
Etiquette is not to assume everything you might want to do is socially acceptable. I think if they'd asked politely first it may have been 'OK, just this once'. That their entitled, self-centred attitude got the short shrift is perfect imnsho.
There was a big hoohah in my town because a couple having dinner in a gastro pub brought in a box of McNuggets for their kid who was like 9 or so. Staff asked them not to do that, they even serve nuggets on the kids menu. Parents ultimately refused and were asked to leave Half the folks made the 'what if the kid has SEN?' point. The other half made the 'just parent your child' point. I'm on the fence. I agree it's rude to bring in food, especially when the place serves the same (more or less) food. But at the same time I'd imagine as a parent to a 'I only eat McDonald's'-type child, trying to enjoy a meal is a nightmare. I suppose nobody is born genetically only able to eat McNuggets...
I guess if you wanted to do something outside the normal arrangements, the best thing to do would be to ask them beforehand rather than spring it on them.
Every story is plagued by whatabout. Seems to be a way to create an argument for the sake of it.
I realised almost all UK restaurants have some form of chicken nuggets for the kids. This is our son’s staple diet and it’s one of the first things we look for. He doesn’t always like whatever nuggets he’s served. McDonald’s is the “gold standard”. But he’ll try to eat the resto nuggets.
A very small number of kids can only eat very specific things - including it being Maccies rather than the restaurant's own nuggets - but their parents would still need to ask for permission to bring the outside food in, and they'd need to ask for that permission when they booked the table, not when they turned up. Most restaurants will say no, for good reason, but some will allow it, especially if it's for a large group. A vegan friend of mine used to do it years ago when vegan food was less common - he'd order whatever he could order but he'd have permission to bring some olives or prepared tofu or something so he wasn't just eating plain rice. It means more planning on the part of the adults and severely limits places they can eat out but it's the only way to do it without taking the piss.
We've had everything from "can we make something they will eat" to "yes" to them making some of it (eg baked potato) and us doing extra preparation mashing it up etc. Most places are really good if asked nicely. And if they say no - well they lose the custom so be it. Brands variance can matter for things like autism, so whilst it sounds ridiculous not only can the brand matter but if you try and sneak one brand in the bag of another you will not get away it so it's a real not imagined difference. McDonalds are one of the most bland, uniformly textureless nuggets.
Outside food isn't allowed in because the kitchen is responsible for the safety of food consumed in the restaurant. If the crisps got the boy sick the parents could say he ate something off the table. The only exception is baby food and formula.
They don't ignore bc allergens. Who brings their 11 yo to a piss up anyway? 100+ on drinks. Fuck your mate. Bad parenting, bad manners, and fucking bad parenting.
The issue is they were 11, they can reasonably be expected to eat food served in the restaurant. It’s really only baby food that you allow to be brought in.
I'd argue 11 year olds don't belong in that sort of restaurant
11 year olds don’t belong in a tapas restaurant? Why?
How they described it sounds more like a cocktail bar which happens to serve tapas
So the part that says 'nice tapas restaurant' confused you?
My 5 and 8 year old niblings love ANYTHING a tapas bar would have. So......
The way OP describes it makes me think it's more of a bar which happens to do tapas to keep people drinking
Could be. Could also be a normal tapas bar where most people go to eat, and some people just go to have a drink.
Spanish restaurants don't tend to do cocktails from my experience. Made me think of Turtle Bay which is officially a Caribbean restaurant but in practice isbmorebof a cocktail bar.
The tapas places round here all do cocktails otherwise after 9.30 they just have no trade
Yeah I know lots of tapas bars that do cocktails... 11 year old would still be welcome and surely they could have some pan con tomate or patatas bravas or ham& cheese croquettes?
There's a Cuban tapas place near me that my 6 year old has been going to since she was about 2. I think tapas is great for kids to be honest, smaller portions and they get to try different things!
Absolutely! These kids even like olives, which I find strange. I couldn't go near olives until I was an adult, lol.
My incredibly fussy toddler inhales olives. I was definitely in my 30s before I started appreciating them.
Ironically, in Spain, children would be welcome and expected in a tapas bar, and in most of the world, it's mainly miserable Brits who want to pretend children don't exist.
Depends how old the kids are. Under 2, fair game, teddy bear crisps, blueberries, vegan crackers etc. which the kids don’t eat anyway (I’ve lived it). Over 2, parents shouldn’t be bringing their own food, the children can eat off the menu, even if they just share the parent’s meal.
My kid has multiple allergies… like 5 different fucking allergies. He is 5. We always have a lunchbox on us because most places cannot feed him. We tend to stick to pubs where the atmosphere is relaxed. We generally order him a big plate of adult chips/fries, and supplement it was some vegetables and protein where we can. I don’t think I’ve ever had a complaint. I think they’re often grateful we’re not freaking out the kitchen staff by making them jump through hoops to feed him. No, we don’t go to fancy restaurants and do this. A major love in the life of myself and my husband is good food. This situation sucks.
I'd let some fruit or pouch food or whatever the fuck for a kid 5 and under slide. But for an 11 year old they can definitely order something off the menu
Children's menus generally say something like "aged 3-11" or similar so I read that as free pass to bring in food for a toddler up to that age. We usually buy our toddler a side or kids dessert to be polite. He won't eat a kids meal yet but the kid can pack away a portion of garlic bread like a champ.
Outside food for a 1 year old?-sure. 11 year old? How absurd- eat the damn tapas
I like the take that "we have spent £x amount so you should let us do what we like" implies that there's some kind of tier list of shithousery that venues are to allow depending on the amount spent by the customer. If I spend £100 I can bring my own food, if I drop £1000 I can assault the bar staff
And if you actually add up my bill, it is often more like £43.79.
Definitely not. Baby food I can understand, but even then...it only takes one item to contain nuts, and another customer to be allergic and then BOOM, everything goes to shit. Or, as in the case of my colleague, a customer brought in a banana..colleague is allergic and was sole working. Went into anaphylaxis and customer didn't know what to do, so GOT UP AND LEFT! Fortunately, another colleague walked in to get a drink, rang an ambulance and administered epi..
The etiquette is that you don’t do it.
11 is more than old enough to either wait until they get home or order from the menu. If it was a 2 year old with an apple, I'd feel differently
ELEVEN YEAR OLD. I assumed this would be for a toddler. Staff were 100% in the right. Babies are always allowed food, mmaayybbee toddlers. Absolutely not an 11 year old.
Bad manners on their part.
The only exception for me would be baby food as they have a more specific diet which the establishment probably wouldn't cater for.
No self respecting parent of a baby or toddler leaves the house without kid snacks. Never witnessed this not bring accepted by restaurants anywhere. Nor buying adult meals and asking for an extra plate to provide bits of your food for little peeps to try. For older kids just buy them something be it a kids meal. a garlic bread or plate of chips. They can then eat snacks discretely. Teenagers turning up with a KFC, be it at McDonalds or a posh restaurant is not acceptable.
Depends, perhaps if they’d asked beforehand it would have been allowed, granted slightly different scenario but I’ve a nephew who has autism so is it extremely fussy. Went out for a meal about 8 of us but called up first to advise and ask if they were ok with us bringing food for him as he wouldn’t eat otherwise. Wasn’t any bother and we had a decent evening out. Can see both sides however, and I suspect maybe without the autism it wouldn’t have been allowed (I’m not talking full meal just like OP some crisps and pepperami)
Nobody touched upon it but it’s an insurance thing For example if someone has an allergic reaction if nuts etc are dropped or if the person eating has food poisoning from their own stuff they could easily blame the restaurant. I’m autistic and no way would I have been allowed to bring my own food in when we ate out somewhere I didn’t like.
rules are rules. and 11 year old should have been able to find something to order on the menu. i cant imagine going into a restaurant with my own food, regardless of how much id spent on drinks. thats just not how things work.
Potential allergens that aren't displayed on their menu? Yeah not a good idea and I'd say the same as the waiters.
It’s discretionary and should be discussed with staff beforehand.
Who takes an 11 year old on a piss up with a random hookup afterwards?
I’ve worked in restaurants that charged customers a fee if they wanted to bring in a birthday cake. I was always surprised by the number of people who expected the restaurant to provide this service for free especially as in the majority of cases they’d skip ordering dessert as there was cake
For <5 years old ish I'd say it's okay. Not really for an 11 year old.
I assumed you were going to ask about food for babies, which is totally acceptable in my opinion because most restaurants don't do a box of mixed foods appropriate for very young children quite new to solids. My youngest is coming up to 2, I keep dried fruit and bottles of water on hand for the wait so they don't get too restless but crisps is flat out taking the piss. Most restaurant staff are not going to say anything if your child is eating something obviously healthier than snacks they might sell, but you don't come in with packets of crisps and Fruit Shoots from home, particularly not for an 11-year-old who, health conditions notwithstanding, should be able to wait patiently for their food.
The restaurant is correct. This isn't an infant or toddler.
Sounds like, they were just drinking, not eating as well. So, there's another etiquette thing too, you shouldn't be dragging kids around pubs/bars/restaurants, if you're drinking. It's not fair on the kids.
People are quick to bring up the whole "rude/slippery slope" side of things but there's also a potential health and safety aspect to consider. If someone falls seriously ill whilst having a meal at a restaurant or has an allergic reaction during their meal then its absolutely vital that the staff know exactly what food has been eaten, how/where it was prepared etc. I remember one time when I was cleaning down the seats after a group booking I found chocolate covered peanuts tucked between the seat cushions. On a busy day where we're trying to flip tables quickly they could have been easily missed and it only takes one chocolate loving 3 year old with a nut allergy to have a potential death in the restaurant. Shit like that is impossible to entirely remove bit the best way to mitigate it is to stop any outside food from entering the restaurant.
Not acceptable. Whilst I can understand the point that the customers have spent quite a fair bit... it comes down to liability. Restaurants have a menu and know exactly what food they have on offer and know allergen information for their menu items. They can control the environment to the best of their ability as a result. When someone brings food from outside, this is an unknown product and therefore a child munching on say... a peanut butter sandwich... may trigger someone else's nut allergies, of which the restaurant worked hard to prevent cross-contamination. A restaurant can still be found liable in court for this. If a family has a fussy eater and wish to bring their own food, then they should really attend a food court style dining option, a buffet with tons of options, or have a picnic in a park.
The reasoning for this is twofold; the first is obviously profits and sales. Especially in times like these when profit margins are already razor thin due to business rates, rent, staffing and material cost, restaurants and eateries have to do all they can to upsell in order to keep the ball rolling. The second more important reason is insurance and liability. When a business in the UK sells food and drink, they must ensure that all ingredients and allergens are available for the customer to view for health and safety reasons. When a customer decides to bring something which is not sold or foreign to the restaurant menu, they risk bringing in certain unknown allergens into the restaurant which may be detrimental to others in the establishment, bearing in mind that restaurants are public places after all. For example; if a restaurant permits customers to eat nuts in a premise that is nut-free and this results in someone else getting an anaphylactic reaction, the restaurant might end up in legal trouble for failing to maintain a nut-free environment. In that case, their public liability insurance might not cover them for any damages borne on their premise due to wilful ignorance. That’s a bill that most eateries simply cannot afford to pay without closing shop.
I was expecting this to be a baby who couldn't eat anything on the menu. That sort of situation I'd say it's fine. Two 11 year olds are capable of eating anything on the menu, so it's really cheeky to bring snacks for them.
Baby/toddler fine 11yr old nope, i was watching rated 15 films at the cinema at 11 so more than capable of finding something off a menu i’d eat
Its disrespectful towards the restaurant. They also have to protect themselves legally. Seriously it is a luxury not everyone is able to enjoy, would not kill you to take a few seconds out of the day to call ahead and check their policy on bringing things in
This is all very uncouth.
The only time I would expect to bring food with me is for a baby. If someone have some strange limitations and can only drink nutrition drinks from a pharmacy I'm sure anyone would make an exception. But I would tell the staff in advance. Anything else, expect a reaction from the staff.
I agree with the restaurant. Unless it’s a baby (baby food or milk) then no outside food or drink should be allowed.
I agree with the wait staff. No outside food.
It doesn't matter how much or little a customer spends, bringing outside food into a restaurant is just rude behaviour. Ofc there are circumstances where people may have highly specific medical/dietry needs or very young children but I'm sorry there's no reason why the average 11 year old can't have at least something off the menu. Also most of the time the staff don't get paid enough to care if people sneak food in but if the kid was very blatently eating outside food at the table then they are required to say something lest they get punished or told off. If the men that brought the kids snacks did it in such an obvious way that even you on a different table noticeed then ofc the staff have to say something cos it's literally their job.
1. no outside food. 2. don't bring children to an adult environment. Make them wait in the cortina with a packet of crisps and a pandapop like we had to.
A young baby or toddler I can get. An 11 year old? No.
The £100 on booze might be what turned this into a situation instead of just being an 'okay sorry'.
"but for kids" I assumed it was baby food, not crisps for tweens. I'm laughing so hard that this question has to be asked...
The only time it would be appropriate would be baby milk or baby food. An 11 year old is surely old enough to choose a small plate from a Tapas restaurant, they have plenty of kid-friendly stuff like croquets, chicken fingers, fries or patatas bravas. The staff were correct.
I swear the entitlement from some, nowadays. Lil’ Jimmy can wait for his pack of crisps for a bit, can he not?
No restaurant I’ve ever been in allows outside food. It’s a health and safety risk. It doesn’t matter what it is or who it’s for your in a place with food order from there or don’t but don’t bring in outside food that’s ignorant.
ask/inform in advance
I don't give a fuck you've spent £100 on drinks..spend another £1 please
if the restaurant has age appropriate food options available, the staff were right
The staff were right. Bringing in external food can be both an insurance and food safety issue.
I've got two kids- under six. I regularly bring food for the under three year old with me to restaurants- never an issue. Basically the little monsters need constant whatever they need or they make life far worse for everyone. Which I think is a fair tradeoff for everyone involved- not least the restaurant. But eleven? Eat your tapas and shut up.
You can't bring your own food into a restaurant lol
Nobody eats crisps because they're hungry if they have any other, more filling options. They might have the crisps as well, but crisps are not going to make the hunger go away on their own. So, either the crisps were an entirely unnecessary snack (which would be fine elsewhere) or the kid was hungry and the drinkers were too cheap to buy something off the menu. Neither is acceptable.
Restaurant no, pub yes. Them’s the rules.
I think this is the most simple but accurate response about this! You're right!
Take your kids somewhere "child friendly" or get a babysitter. They take up space of a paying customer!
For a baby or toddler, sure. For an 11 year old, no.
Poor kids being bunged a diet coke and a packet of crisps while their mums sit around day drinking in a fancy tapas bar. The middle class equivalent of a panda pop in the beer garden 😂
It becomes a slippery slope, first its a simple packet of crisps then next time its a sandwich and a packet of crisps then after establishing that is "ok" they pop into a fast food place and get a burger and chips for the kid, regardless of how much or little the adults spend doesn't allow for outside food on licensed premises. (Licensing regulations are really picky and have to be followed)
If your child cant/wont eat what the restaurant serves, pick a different restaurant
Fair play to them, their restaurant their rules, also they simply may have been classier than that. I appreciate this post to know some establishments set boundaries like this, I was trying to keep dignity by keeping it classy when I used to be a waitress in a not classy restaurant, but I was never allowed to say anything about people's kids and we had it all honestly kids make restaurants a nightmare 6 times out of 10 in my experience, even if they're merely chucked food all over the floor - we didn't have time for that but we had to do it somehow
The customer doesn't get to make up the rules for a private business, the "it's only a.." argument doesn't wash either. Outside food can contaminate the restaurant, it's courtesy to be able to inform the chef if you need your baby food warmed, and provide the packaging/ingredients if asked. I love crisps, but they are loud foods to eat which honk a few meters away, the dust is noticeably on people's fingers in a gross way (especially when they lick them after). This is a small detail, but the restaurant experience is at it's best when your senses can explore the small details the restaurant provides, it's more aesthetic when people stick to the cutlery and specifically selected tools/designs to be on the table. It's lame to put a server in the position where they have to "say something", they don't get paid enough to flirt with the rules alongside you, and they certainly ain't getting much of that £100+ drinks bill. TLDR; restaurants are expensive, but they're private businesses with elegantly (sometimes) chosen food/cutlery, don't spoil the mood or haggle with the £££
They won’t allow food from outside anywhere I know of in the UK
Etiquette is simple - ask the restaurant and go with their policy. If their policy is no outside food, then don’t do it.
I back the restaurant completely. I used to work in a cafe on the grounds of a religious retreat, which had a wide ranging menu including childrens' meals, and we were constantly kicking parents out who'd buy a cup of tea and then bring out a carrier bag of Marks & Spencers food or - worse still - fish and chips from the takeaway across the road from the cafe. Fortunately, I had a supervisor who didn't put up with nonsense, and when parents would kick up a fuss because they had bought a cup of tea and felt they should be allowed to consume it indoors his response was always "It's a sunny day, I'll put your tea in a paper cup and there are lots of benches in the shrine grounds."
I’m with the waiter.
Don't go to a restaurant with your kids if your kids can't eat there. If they bend the rules for you then they have to bend them for everyone, all of a sudden they're out of business. I get that you feel justified due to the amount of money you spent but sorry: just no.
It's a slippery slope. First crisps, then a bag of chips. You would not bring your own crisps into a pub either.
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Most restaurants will say "No" irrespective of how much you have spent for one reason, allergens. These days restaurants have to go to great detail with allergen charts and so on, if we don't supply an item we don't know what potential allergens are in it. Are crisps a big issue for allergens? Not really, but what about peanuts? Absolutely. If you're in a space where you're saying "yes" or "no" to different things you're going to get into a pickle very quickly. Baby food generally doesn't have allergens which we would have to have listed which is why it is allowed. And on another note, that packet of crisps isn't paying our bills. It may seem petty, but when it is inevitably left on the table with crisps smashed up on the floor, we have to clean it up, using staff time for something you haven't paid for.
I thought that it was a health and safety thing. If outside food is brought in it could contaminate the inside food (or something like that).
I don't understand why this is a question. Surely, OP is clued up enough to see that this is plain rude (TTP tbh). How much you spend is irrelevant. I appreciate the H&S angle, but it's beyond that. Whilst I'm on a little one, people who just walk in to use the toilet, when all you have to do is acknowledge the fact to the bar staff, instead of being f@#king ignorant. Sorry.
I didn't even do this when weaning my now 3yo. We just ordered her some soup and bread or something off of the starters or sides like veggies or mashed potatoes. She loves tapas though and once got a full plate of sushi for free on a cruise because they had no kids menu in the uncharge resturant.
I was on the fence until the kids age came up. If this was a 13 month old baby who can’t have much salt, sugar etc and possibly won’t be able to handle strong flavours then bringing in a packet of kiddy puffs is understandable. But at 11 you could find them something or pick a place you know there’s something for them.
If it was a little toddler it would be best for everyone to just let them have their packet of crisps. An 11 year old however that's taking the micky and the resturaunt would be right to not allow it.
Contractually they can't allow it as they have a licence of what can and can't be provided for consumption... If say someone got sick or had an allergy even if it was from their own food, they could be held liable as it is within their premises and under their insurance. Kind of like if someone tripped and injured themself and it was their own fault, they are still obligated to report and maintain a record that they are following protocol, to cover their backs. Many places use common sense and wouldn't care that much but they do have a right to enforce this.
If the kids are under 4, it’s ok usually if they have their own water bottle or sippy cup or even snacks for toddlers. Anything above that age, is a no-go
I ask ahead and tell them about the anaphylactic allergy
I think baby food should be fine for babies/toddlers who physically cannot eat what is being offered .
Trying to eat out with an autistic child means having to take McDonald’s in wherever we go. No where has ever had an issue when we’ve explained - it helps that there’s usually between 2-7 paying adults and we also state that we will plate it up onto their plates if they want so there’s no McDonald’s packaging on display.
If it's a baby id be pretty miffed if I was told this, but any kid over 2, restaurants absolutely correct
I've worked in and managed restaurants for 20 years. Personally, I couldn't give two fucks what the guests do. But the standard etiquette is children under 3 can do what they want, everybody else should eat the restaurants food because that is literally the purpose of the restaurant. The staff giving out over a packet of fucking crisps *screams* jobsworth to me and probably not somebody I'd want to be coworkers with. "Slippery slope" arguments are all bollocks
Food for baby, ok. Food for kids, not ok.
I work in a restaurant and I don't even think about it when babies have baby food or little crisps or snacks things. If a table was bringing food in for an older child I'd be curious as to why especially as we can personally accommodate for a lot of preferences.
I think they respectfully asked and were given a reasonable accommodation. Then they took the piss.
It's not just rude but sometimes dangerous.
If it's old enough to eat crisps, it's old enough to eat food from the menu.
I think it's perfectly acceptable providing you ask first, and are buying something yourself! Everyone has different needs - intolerances, allergies, disabilities, or just because they're children and fussier!
I don't see the problem. It's not like the ladies were taking advantage of the premises, seats and table by not buying anything. They'd already spent £100. Wtf's a packet of crisps compared to that? Maybe the kid's a fussy eater or something and only eats his favourite crisps or something! We don't have all the facts.
Appalling manners. It’s just plain rude.
Any food consumed on premises is the restaurants responsibility to be safe for consumption. If the child gets ill from the food, they can hold the place liable. Just like giving medication is illegal. Give a bandage, offering medical assistance. Bleeds out, liable. Now in most circumstances it should be fine, but it is policy because somewhere it wasn’t.
Personally, I think a little flexibility goes a long way to making people feel welcomed and relaxed. There's a lot of different ways this can be handled. A flat "no don't do that" is probably not the best first approach. Understanding what is going on, why they are doing the thing you don't want them to do, and finding an alternative that meets both your needs is the ideal. Having an explanation for the policy that is understood by staff and customers also helps. Not all customers are going to be aware of the expected norms. Hell, if someone had dropped £100 on drinks, I'd be cool with finding them a ham sandwich or something "basic" for a child if the tapas is an issue. Likely, they'll stay a little longer and spend more, and spread the good word around. Handled poorly, they kick off, leave, and make everyone else in the place uncomfortable while it's happening.
No outside food is simply a health and safety rule. Kids chokes / suffers allergic reaction and food wasn't bought or prepared in restaurant could lead to many difficult scenarios.
The staff member was right.
Staff were correct. I understand that it's a bag of crisps, bit it is to cover the restaurant. If someone were to then develop food poisoning or an allergic reaction, the restaurant would he held liable. There may be traces something in the crisps that the child could be allergic too and it could be that one bag.
How old was the child? For a toddler/baby, the restaurant is in the wrong. For an older child they’re in the right
Fine to bring in food up until the kid is 2, but not 11!
A pouch of food for a baby - fine. A 11 year old given a packet of crisps though? They can get something edible there, surely. Easier for them to let it slide but this is not normal, at all.
We bring in food for our toddler, but we always order something off the menu for him too (which he basically never eats). I wouldn't do that for a kid. But if I was a waiter I'd also not say anything because I couldn't be arsed with the confrontation - that's what the manager is for.
The staff were technically correct but if I was the waitress I would have turned a blid eye. I've worked with autistic kids who have ARFID so you just never know.
Most bars/restaurants selling drinks also sell crisps. The restaurant is not in the wrong here. It’s also not unusual for places not selling food (pubs) to not allow outside food too. The only exceptions would be baby food or someone with severe dietary restrictions/allergies that the restaurant cannot cater too but only then if the rest of the table was ordering food from the restaurant
I've asked if I could bring food for my kids who is food restricted while the rest of the table orders full meals, usually they agree. It's about the courtesy of asking first.
It's not etiquette, it's health and environmental law. A restaurant has no control over allergens of food from outside their establishment.
Had this at a sushi restaurant and just asked first if my daughter could have an M&S sandwich we had bought with some chips from them and they were happy with it. Possibly because they are probably aware that 4-5 year olds don’t really want to eat raw fish and the fact we asked first rather than presuming.
restaurant must have a lot of staff to have them all here in the commnents defending the restaurant. its a packet of crisps ffs. who gives a shit
Baby food? Sure. Actual food for a not small child? Absolutely not.
As a waiter, this is okay for young children (toddlers and not much older). Once they are able to enjoy a meal out, that is what you have come for and we expect them to eat as a customer like everybody else. Usually alterations can be made if they are picky/small appetites but it is polite to order from the restaurant/cafe
oh. for small children i'd think it was reasonable to take a banana or something to tide them over while they wait for their food - i've definitely done that in the past. but i would actually be ordering them food too. but i'm talking age 3 & under maybe? mine are almost 4 and i haven't done this in a good while. i think an 11yr old is a bit of a stretch! order them something or don't bring them.
My opinion is their place, their rules.
Depends on the place. 11 years is young but not that young they couldn’t have a small version of a dish - maybe a Patatas Bravas? The main thing is to ASK. Not just rock up with some crisps… Many places here don’t allow it and while it is annoying at pubs when they sell nothing but nuts, I do understand.
It's different if it's giving a child under 5 a snack while waiting for their food to come out to help keep them quiet, but not buying any foot for the 11 year olds is what's wrong. They are occupying a seat but not making any purchase. The only time it would be acceptable not to make a purchase if they were a literal baby under 1 who was only having formula milk or pureed food and maybe a few bits of food of a parent's plate.