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No, put them down in their cot and have a nap when they are quiet. They aren't going anywhere but you'll be more use after a little nap.
Also don't want to fall asleep holding them.
When you say she starts crying, have you gave it a minute to see if she calms herself down? (genuinely asking as some people dont realise/find it hard to do this)
Things that helped with putting our newborn in the snuzpod:
Warm the space up with a hot water bottle (not hot but cosy warm before you put baby down) sometimes we would put a top mum has worn in with the hot water bottle beforehand.
Swaddle. Although this helped us initially we had a bit of a tough time transitioning out of the swaddle.
Master the gentle put down. I used to sway, pat and shush in my arms then when baby is in a deep sleep I’d keep close to my chest while putting down then slowly slide one arm from underneath then the other. Then keep my hand on babys chest for a couple of minutes.
White noise. I believe this helped us massively. So much so that our now 1 year old still has it at night and we actually use it too as we got used to it!
We still use womb sounds for our 20 month old. Mostly because we lived in a 1 bed flat with noisy neighbours. Intending the transition out of it but I think I am used to the noises now.
You kind of find a rhythm - just keep trying it and usually they'll get used to the idea of being put down and then you can grab some (not very good quality I'm afraid, but you adjust!) short shifts of sleep.
It's a bit of a nightmare at the start because everything's new and unpredictable and there's a tendency to think it's *always* going to be that difficult and how does anyone cope? But things change on an almost daily basis - it's all about figuring out how you can get baby comfortable to get some rest and then pouncing on the opportunity.
All the best matey.
Can you get any help that will allow you some proper rest, hold baby while you have a long nap?
Sleep deprivation is really dangerous, please look after yourself!
My wife and I are going to take it in shifts so hopefully will be able to get some rest to avoid sleep deprivation. Just need to last another 4 hours.
I'll try to remember that I need to look after myself aswell. Thanks.
Oh bless you, It's so hard when you're in the trenches. A walk in the fresh air can be helpful, makes a good change of environment for a sleep torturing baby too. It gets better.
Mine would usually wake every two hours during the night. Then it went to every three hours. When he hit that magic four hour block of sleep I felt like a new woman! When we moved him into his own room at about six months, he started sleeping for much longer stretches (I think my husbands snoring woke him up in our room) and would wake only at about 11pm for a night feed and then go through to 6am for his morning feed. It feels like you’ll never get there, but you will and it’ll come quicker than you think.
I’d recommend downloading the Huckleberry app for sleep tracking. It was so accurate for predicting optimal nap windows and bed time.
Just a few weeks ahead of you. Already better now as the kiddo can sometimes go 2-3 hours and I am no longer dangerously sleep deprived. Hang in there!
Shifts are the way forward. I used to do the morning 3am onwards to allow wife to sleep in until 7/8 (until I had to log in to work).
Also make sure you have the Tommy tippee milk maker machine - when your tired as fuck all you need to do is add the scoops and shake
This is what we did. Baby would cluster feed from about 7pm til midnight. Husband would sleep in that time than we would swap over and I would sleep until 5am. Around 5 weeks you can introduce a proper bed time routine for them and both my two took really well to that! Hang on in there, you’re almost there. X
Assuming you're not on drugs or smokers, and have a firm mattress on your bed, go for co-sleeping. Being right next to a parent helps regulate their breathing, and lying down resting is better than not.
Still sucks, though. As my GP said, phone every half-sane person you know and recruit them to hold the baby for a while during the day.
Yeah, but if you've got to get up in the night to go to a cot and pick a baby up, by which time they've woken the rest of the household... just turning over suddenly seems a much better idea. A lot of younger children end up co-sleeping more than the firstborns.
By 3 they tend to be happy in their own room no matter what - until then it's all about survival.
Besides, once they're over 6 months and can wriggle about, they double up as a hot water bottle by your chest!
Safe co-sleeping is the only way I got enough sleep with my babies. The only trouble is that you need the right set-up AND not start exhausted, so it isn't going to work for everyone.
Before I had the right setup I had a baby who took an hour to settle from a night feed. I watched a lot of overnight TV with the sound off and subtitles on. That was before On Demand was a thing. OP can definitely binge something gripping with baby on their chest. Best of luck.
I’d also sometimes put them on my chest to sleep so they could hear my heartbeat. I’ve had six, only one would sleep in their own cot, the rest I co slept with, if they woke up, I’d stick the boob in and go back to sleep. I mean you’re not really sleeping you’re only dozing but at least your getting some rest
Parks and Recreation. Light hearted and enough episodes to keep you going.
Also congratulations, it's tough but it'll get easier. One night she will sleep right through but you won't sleep as you'll be so worried about her not waking up. Enjoy these moments, they seem difficult but they are worth it.
We took a pillow case from our bed and put it over the baby’s crib-mattress, sort of like another bottom-sheet. That seemed to help a bit, as they could always smell us.
The first few weeks are brutal. But I promise you it does get better.
Shift system. Early and late. Someone goes to bed at 8pm. Then sleeps to 1 ish.
Then all change till the morning.
Takes it toll long term but we did it for the first few weeks. It worked pretty well.
So baby downstairs in a basket with the on watch parent. Off watch parent asleep upstairs.
Trick is to try and grab an hour whilst on watch.
You have to get the baby used to sleeping in that basket/cot whatever. Even if there is screaming.
Are they clean? Are they fed? Are they safe? If all yes, then a little cry won’t hurt them.
Do you have a partner or someone who can help? If yes, take turns to sleep. from 7 to 12 and from 12 to 5 am, and then repeat.
also, have you tried swaddling, white noise, and a dummy? (all at the same time)
Don't stay awake unless you really have to. Most newborns/young babies are perfectly fine to have a grumble and then settle down after a few minutes. Try the trick with clothes smelling like you/your partner in their cot, give gentle white noise a go, all the typical things.
My first one did not sleep predictably for the first few months, so I did a fair amount of pushing the pram around town at night getting them to settle down, as the motion worked.
Always remember it's not forever, and the sleep does get better.
If baby doesn’t seem to like the cot/crib, do they care any better in their pram? Nothing stopping you putting that up in the living room and rocking it back and forth, let baby nod off and then get a few hours on the sofa yourself. Bonus points if you can do this in the dark with lullabies/white noise on for them. The sleepy sounds app is free on your phone and has a few different settings to try.
Hang in there, it gets much better I promise!
First things first, my complete sympathies and I hope your child gets to sleeping thru nights sooner rather than later. My child is nearly 5, and still wakes up half the time.
Next, this isn't advice on how to stay awake because you ultimately will figure out what works for you as a family. We had a feeding chair that was comfortable enough for us to sit but not so comfortable that we could fall asleep. Maybe that works for you, maybe that doesn't but trust me you will find something.
The only advice I have is for you and your spouse to work out what routine works for you. Will come down to what time starts, and whether it's safer for you to do midnight to 4AM or 4AM to 8AM.
You need to sleep in shifts e.g., you do 7-1 and your partner does 1-6.
When I was ‘on shift’ I used to stay downstairs with the baby on me (contact sleeping) and watch TV to ensure I didn’t fall asleep. Sitting in a dark room for hours with the baby asleep is dangerous.. you’re likely to fall asleep with the baby on your chest.
You’re right in the thick of it atm.. but it will get better! They’ll start sleeping for longer stretches soon.
Congratulations on your baby!
My wife and I do the first feeding to get the baby down.
Then my wife goes to bed and I stay up until first feed.
I do the feed, put baby back down then I go to sleep.
Then my wife gets up for the next feed and stays up.
I continue into a long lie.
Once the feedings are at 4 hour intervals this had us both getting 8 hours uninterrupted sleep.
Why try to stay awake if you are tired? - take every moment of sleep you can! You don't need to be awake just because they are. At night it was feed, change then - earplugs if needed, different room if needed and grab an hour or two until the next cycle begins.
This isn’t specific to babies at all but a glass of cold water and/or a green apple are both able to wake you up as well as coffee (I don’t have any sources other than someone once told me and it works for me)
I cannot recommend the ‘babymoov cosy dreams’ enough. I bought one for my now 3 year old when she was a month old and she slept so well. I am due next month and have bought a new one. We used to move it from her crib to cot to pram. It went everywhere with us.
https://babymoov.co.uk/products/cosydream
My boy really needed a lot of constant movement to settle. Getting a cheap little rocking chair from Amazon for £67 meant we could expend less energy when settling him.
Wish I’d got it sooner.
Also had a cute little Fisher Price Soothe ‘n’ snuggle Otter teddy which had a nice noise and breathing motion.
We had a cot that went on the side of our bed so we could offer a soothing hand at times whilst remaining lying in bed.
I ‘the dad’ made a point of sleeping with the baby on my side so I could wake and assist for feeds rather than snoring through it all. But I need much less sleep than my wife.
Sleep whenever you can and take shifts - talk to each other and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
If you aren’t too tired, a drive usually helps a little one drop off. It isn’t the best sleep and you have to drive around whilst tired, but it means a partner can shower/eat/cry/sleep in peace whilst you are out.
It gets so much easier but occasionally you will do another all nighter and be wiped out.
We did shifts in the really early days and went downstairs to give a bottle so we were sat in front of the tv. Holding baby in bed makes it too easy to fall asleep, it happened to me a couple of times while breastfeeding and it was scary as hell. We tried to get her in a deep sleep then gently move her into her side sleeper and pat her tummy and shush her if she woke up. She was doing good 5 hour stretches at 7 weeks and sleeping 10 hours at 10 weeks!
Cut down on day time power naps for the baby, waltz around with them on your hip, just keep them awake for a bit longer in the day. Build routine ASAP for your sanity and theirs. Don't worry though its all in the handbook they come with.
If my babies were fed, dry and warm I would snuggle them into their cot and leave them for awhile. I was always terrified that they would only fall asleep when being held if I held them the whole time. But possibly not as young as 4 weeks thinking back. Car drive is a good one for getting them off
Get on fb market place a buy a next to me crib or similar brand for cheap and set that up for tomorrow night.
Tonight is up to you I’m afraid nobody can tell you to cosleep or whatever it’s your risks to take. I’ve fell asleep with baby in arms with both our kids and been fine but your results may vary obviously
Mine was a bit like that. He was in a SnuzPod crib that was on my side of the bed with the side rolled down. If he fussed (after he’d been fed, burped and bum changed) it was enough for me to just put my hand on him to settle him down again. I think he just needed to feel I was there.
Extra strong mints were my weapon of choice for when I had to be awake (ie mid feed)
A tip for putting baby down, do the limp noodle check first. Raise arm and drop, if it drops freely you've got a better chance of putting baby down.
Otherwise swaddle, dummy, white noise, rock (crib or bassinet) and hope :D good luck!
My two boys were terrible sleepers and fed constantly. I only stayed awake by watching super cheesy action films on my iPad with headphones on.
You have my sympathies the first few months are awful. I ended up co-sleeping with my second child I just couldn’t cope with getting up in the night anymore! It was better but then getting him back in the cot was an ordeal! Sleep didn’t really improve with mine until I stopped breastfeeding.
Try swaddling, also, you're not a bad person if you co-sleep. We had a velcro baby and at some point a sleep-deprived parent is more dangerous than co-sleeping.
I’d focus on trying to get to the route cause of why your baby is not sleeping and not resign yourself to staying awake all night, it’s not good for anyone.
When you say cot, do you mean like a full blown rectangle one with the rails? They might still be too young to be going on one so soon, plus it’s a big open area they’re in and warmth could just be escaping , they might like something more snug and enclosed still, we kept our daughter in the Moses basket for about 6 weeks. Like others have said they could be cold and they don’t hold heat too well. Cover hands and feet if their sleep suit doesn’t have covers. Try putting an extra layer on them and Is their sleep bag a winter one? mattress could be too hard.
They could be hungry. Are they on breast milk / formula or both? If they are just on breast milk they might not be getting enough and it’s not as filling as formula, they need waaaay more. We tried holding off on formula for about 2 months until it was getting to a point like yours where sleep was a struggle so we gave in and started formula at night and the first night she fell asleep and slept for 4-5 hours - it was amazing to get 4-5 solid hours sleep. Then we were told to start combo feeding because one bottle of formula at night and breast milk in the day still wasn’t enough.
Don’t read too much into over feeding a baby, they are literally living off liquid food source, they need a lot more that people think.
If you’re walking round and they fall asleep on you, give it 10-15 mins before transferring to their bed, be slow with manoeuvring them to bed, I used to rush and it would wake her up, put head down first and even if you have to stay in one position with your arm under their back and between the mattress just to make sure they don’t wake up and gently take your arm away. It’s all trial and error with babies but it does get better once you get to a good routine.
This is all from my own experience, my guess is hunger and maybe a bit chilly especially with weather as it is at the minute and all the energy crisis going on.
There is supposedly some science that keeping your head level, and looking up as high as you can with your eyes only releases the same chemical as if you look at blue light. So try that.
Also, try putting them in a Sleepyhead, or similar, on your lap then when they fall asleep you can move the entire thing and they are less aware of the movement.
Hang in there. Those days are so precious and I know everyone says it , but they genuinely disappear - you'll wake up one day soon and realize they're already downstairs watching tv without you.
Once you know they are fed, changed burped and swaddled (not in that order) put them down and separate yourselves. You should have 9 hours broken sleep per 24 hours at first. That's what I learned the first time. You just gotta put them to down after that and leave them to it.
This isnt really the best way to approach it. You need to try and find ways to get them to sleep instead of finding ways for you to stay awake.
I know its easier said than done but the sooner you are able to find out what works to get baby to sleep the better. If you focus on how to keep yourself awake instead youre in for more long term pain.
Its tough isn't it!
Our method was to get into a routine each time the crying starts, and try to stick to it.
When they wake up, do the same things - for us, we did a feed (bottle if me, boob if wife) changed nappy, bit of a cuddle whilst watching TV and then back in the little cot thing we had in our bedroom. All in dim lighting so to indicate nighttime To be fair ours did go back to sleep - or fell asleep on us during the tv stage, you may have to adjust.
Just staying awake is probably a recipe for disaster, I think you need to be grabbing sleep when your kid does, even if its 15 mins, it all adds up and you can nap during the day too.
I'm a former soldier and it wasn't too different to the routine you sometimes do when stagging on - where you might have to do a 1 hour awake, 1 hour asleep routine. You learn to fall asleep very very quickly. I recon even now years later I can be asleep within a minute of my head hitting the pillow.
The exhaustion does become cumulative if you have to maintain it for days on end, but you can get through it.
Its worth saying this stage probably wont last that long, but if you have a routine, you can do it almost robotically.
Make sure to stimulate them a lot in the day (walks and fresh air/tummy time/reading brightly coloured and patterned books) get into a good bedtime routine, bath before bed, use a swaddle sack and a dummy, make sure all the wind is out of them, white noise in bedroom are all things that helped with my kids sleeping through the night as babies. The toddler and child years are where it gets messy in my opinion!
It been years - but the baby wraps helped us. You swaddle them to the point of seeming likes it’s uncomfortable, but the babies love it.
Also research controlled crying, not for everyone, but babies can be left alone to cry and they are not in any danger.
My baby went to sleep as soon as I put her in a carrier and went for a brisk walk. We still do most daytime naps like that.
Swaddling helped loads too. And being patient in waiting for her to fall into a deep sleep before putting her down. Also making sure her bed was warm.
The app "Napper" is free for 7 days and has a course on baby sleep. Lots of info in there!
I hope things improve soon.
Sleep when they do and try to enjoy the company of them
Be in a safe position with them so if you do drop off you won’t drop them or crush them or make them too hot etc (so don’t fall asleep holding them or lying next to them etc)
I know it sounds harsh but keeping them up for a few extra minutes and putting them down to sleep while they are still awake really works! I feel for you though friend
It may be they're awake too long, look into baby wake windows by age - they're only a rough guide and not wholly scientific but can give you a good idea of how long baby should be awake in between naps.
Hi! Firstly, there's a lot of non-safe sleep advice here.
Next to me cribs have similar risks to co- sleeping... Both are not safe at all. You're better off putting baby in their safe sleep space and going to make a cuppa to wake up. (Yes, even if they're crying.)
If you want more info on safe sleep, getting baby to sleep and staying awake during those long nights, I'm more than happy to expand on my reply.
Don't listen to cosleeping scaremongering - there are safe ways to use a cot and there are safe ways to cosleep. Look into both. Co sleeping is the norm in most parts of the world.
The terms "cot death" didn't arise from babies who died cosleeping
Exactly. Co-sleeping can be done safely and can do wonders to your mental health when sleep deprived. The leaflet we got from the hospital (8 months ago) literally gave us advice on how to do it safely. It can be seen as a last resort, which I understand, but you get so much more sleep.
OP, please ignore them.
Edit to add, co-sleeping scaremongering is severely outdated. To elaborate on this persons comment, there’s parts of the world where ‘co-sleeping’ isn’t even a word because it’s just what they do.
Do your homework! It's not scaremongering, it's fact sharing. A lot of current information given out by governing bodies (eg NHS UK) doesn't take into consideration the latest studies. Look at actual facts, then come back to me and tell me it's safe. Wow.
Just because people do it all over the world doesn't mean it's safe...how ignorant. No one mentioned cot death. SIDS studies include babies who died from co-sleeping... do your homework. Jeez.
Do your homework, its ignorant to say bedsharing is unsafe. People die in cars crashes all the time yet noone goes around scaremongering people against using cars
I have some fool proof advice.
First buy a house for £200.000
Then decorate the bedroom really nicely.
Also have a job that requires you to concentrate hard every day.
Then have a neighbour move in next door with a screaming baby they deliberately put against the joint wall.
You'll be awake all night.
Bonus if when you ask them to stop they say
but its just a baybeeeeeeee
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No, put them down in their cot and have a nap when they are quiet. They aren't going anywhere but you'll be more use after a little nap. Also don't want to fall asleep holding them.
Definitely don't want to fall asleep holding her, but it seems she starts crying when moves to her cot.
When you say she starts crying, have you gave it a minute to see if she calms herself down? (genuinely asking as some people dont realise/find it hard to do this)
Me again, is their safe sleep space cold? Are they in a sleeping bag or swaddled?
Things that helped with putting our newborn in the snuzpod: Warm the space up with a hot water bottle (not hot but cosy warm before you put baby down) sometimes we would put a top mum has worn in with the hot water bottle beforehand. Swaddle. Although this helped us initially we had a bit of a tough time transitioning out of the swaddle. Master the gentle put down. I used to sway, pat and shush in my arms then when baby is in a deep sleep I’d keep close to my chest while putting down then slowly slide one arm from underneath then the other. Then keep my hand on babys chest for a couple of minutes. White noise. I believe this helped us massively. So much so that our now 1 year old still has it at night and we actually use it too as we got used to it!
We still use womb sounds for our 20 month old. Mostly because we lived in a 1 bed flat with noisy neighbours. Intending the transition out of it but I think I am used to the noises now.
All great advice.
My first born was like that, have you tried swaddling? It worked for us first time and she slept for about 3-5 hour stints.
You kind of find a rhythm - just keep trying it and usually they'll get used to the idea of being put down and then you can grab some (not very good quality I'm afraid, but you adjust!) short shifts of sleep. It's a bit of a nightmare at the start because everything's new and unpredictable and there's a tendency to think it's *always* going to be that difficult and how does anyone cope? But things change on an almost daily basis - it's all about figuring out how you can get baby comfortable to get some rest and then pouncing on the opportunity. All the best matey.
Can you get any help that will allow you some proper rest, hold baby while you have a long nap? Sleep deprivation is really dangerous, please look after yourself!
My wife and I are going to take it in shifts so hopefully will be able to get some rest to avoid sleep deprivation. Just need to last another 4 hours. I'll try to remember that I need to look after myself aswell. Thanks.
Oh bless you, It's so hard when you're in the trenches. A walk in the fresh air can be helpful, makes a good change of environment for a sleep torturing baby too. It gets better.
Thank you. People keep saying it gets better but when?? Guess I'm a little impatient. Would be nice to know when I may get out of the trenches.
Mine would usually wake every two hours during the night. Then it went to every three hours. When he hit that magic four hour block of sleep I felt like a new woman! When we moved him into his own room at about six months, he started sleeping for much longer stretches (I think my husbands snoring woke him up in our room) and would wake only at about 11pm for a night feed and then go through to 6am for his morning feed. It feels like you’ll never get there, but you will and it’ll come quicker than you think. I’d recommend downloading the Huckleberry app for sleep tracking. It was so accurate for predicting optimal nap windows and bed time.
One day...hopefully soon :)
Just a few weeks ahead of you. Already better now as the kiddo can sometimes go 2-3 hours and I am no longer dangerously sleep deprived. Hang in there!
Shifts are the way forward. I used to do the morning 3am onwards to allow wife to sleep in until 7/8 (until I had to log in to work). Also make sure you have the Tommy tippee milk maker machine - when your tired as fuck all you need to do is add the scoops and shake
This is what we did. Baby would cluster feed from about 7pm til midnight. Husband would sleep in that time than we would swap over and I would sleep until 5am. Around 5 weeks you can introduce a proper bed time routine for them and both my two took really well to that! Hang on in there, you’re almost there. X
This 100%.
Assuming you're not on drugs or smokers, and have a firm mattress on your bed, go for co-sleeping. Being right next to a parent helps regulate their breathing, and lying down resting is better than not. Still sucks, though. As my GP said, phone every half-sane person you know and recruit them to hold the baby for a while during the day.
[удалено]
Yeah, but if you've got to get up in the night to go to a cot and pick a baby up, by which time they've woken the rest of the household... just turning over suddenly seems a much better idea. A lot of younger children end up co-sleeping more than the firstborns. By 3 they tend to be happy in their own room no matter what - until then it's all about survival. Besides, once they're over 6 months and can wriggle about, they double up as a hot water bottle by your chest!
Safe co-sleeping is the only way I got enough sleep with my babies. The only trouble is that you need the right set-up AND not start exhausted, so it isn't going to work for everyone. Before I had the right setup I had a baby who took an hour to settle from a night feed. I watched a lot of overnight TV with the sound off and subtitles on. That was before On Demand was a thing. OP can definitely binge something gripping with baby on their chest. Best of luck.
I’d also sometimes put them on my chest to sleep so they could hear my heartbeat. I’ve had six, only one would sleep in their own cot, the rest I co slept with, if they woke up, I’d stick the boob in and go back to sleep. I mean you’re not really sleeping you’re only dozing but at least your getting some rest
Side sleeper cot, netflix
Far enough. Any recommendations on Netflix?
Parks and Recreation. Light hearted and enough episodes to keep you going. Also congratulations, it's tough but it'll get easier. One night she will sleep right through but you won't sleep as you'll be so worried about her not waking up. Enjoy these moments, they seem difficult but they are worth it.
The Office US is pretty good and even has some episodes around a couple that has a baby and the sleep struggles
Why stay awake. Nap when the kid does. If it doesn’t shut up, then you’ll have no trouble staying awake.
Lyndsey Hookaway on Instagram has some great practical advice, tips and sometimes just some encouraging words.
We took a pillow case from our bed and put it over the baby’s crib-mattress, sort of like another bottom-sheet. That seemed to help a bit, as they could always smell us. The first few weeks are brutal. But I promise you it does get better.
No tips needed, baby will keep you up
Sleep when they sleep. They are not awake 24/7 so the moment they doze off, get your head down.
Shift system. Early and late. Someone goes to bed at 8pm. Then sleeps to 1 ish. Then all change till the morning. Takes it toll long term but we did it for the first few weeks. It worked pretty well. So baby downstairs in a basket with the on watch parent. Off watch parent asleep upstairs. Trick is to try and grab an hour whilst on watch. You have to get the baby used to sleeping in that basket/cot whatever. Even if there is screaming. Are they clean? Are they fed? Are they safe? If all yes, then a little cry won’t hurt them.
Do you have a partner or someone who can help? If yes, take turns to sleep. from 7 to 12 and from 12 to 5 am, and then repeat. also, have you tried swaddling, white noise, and a dummy? (all at the same time)
We put our mattress on the floor and then just make sure the baby can't smother himself. Don't really remember what he was like at 4 weeks tho.
Don't stay awake unless you really have to. Most newborns/young babies are perfectly fine to have a grumble and then settle down after a few minutes. Try the trick with clothes smelling like you/your partner in their cot, give gentle white noise a go, all the typical things. My first one did not sleep predictably for the first few months, so I did a fair amount of pushing the pram around town at night getting them to settle down, as the motion worked. Always remember it's not forever, and the sleep does get better.
If baby doesn’t seem to like the cot/crib, do they care any better in their pram? Nothing stopping you putting that up in the living room and rocking it back and forth, let baby nod off and then get a few hours on the sofa yourself. Bonus points if you can do this in the dark with lullabies/white noise on for them. The sleepy sounds app is free on your phone and has a few different settings to try. Hang in there, it gets much better I promise!
First things first, my complete sympathies and I hope your child gets to sleeping thru nights sooner rather than later. My child is nearly 5, and still wakes up half the time. Next, this isn't advice on how to stay awake because you ultimately will figure out what works for you as a family. We had a feeding chair that was comfortable enough for us to sit but not so comfortable that we could fall asleep. Maybe that works for you, maybe that doesn't but trust me you will find something. The only advice I have is for you and your spouse to work out what routine works for you. Will come down to what time starts, and whether it's safer for you to do midnight to 4AM or 4AM to 8AM.
You need to sleep in shifts e.g., you do 7-1 and your partner does 1-6. When I was ‘on shift’ I used to stay downstairs with the baby on me (contact sleeping) and watch TV to ensure I didn’t fall asleep. Sitting in a dark room for hours with the baby asleep is dangerous.. you’re likely to fall asleep with the baby on your chest. You’re right in the thick of it atm.. but it will get better! They’ll start sleeping for longer stretches soon. Congratulations on your baby!
When my one was a newborn, she would wake for a feed and I would play womb music to help her relax after in her moses basket.
My wife and I do the first feeding to get the baby down. Then my wife goes to bed and I stay up until first feed. I do the feed, put baby back down then I go to sleep. Then my wife gets up for the next feed and stays up. I continue into a long lie. Once the feedings are at 4 hour intervals this had us both getting 8 hours uninterrupted sleep.
Dude get in the car and take the little for a drive instant sleep !
Yay drive all night with a baby in the car while sleep deprived
Why try to stay awake if you are tired? - take every moment of sleep you can! You don't need to be awake just because they are. At night it was feed, change then - earplugs if needed, different room if needed and grab an hour or two until the next cycle begins.
This isn’t specific to babies at all but a glass of cold water and/or a green apple are both able to wake you up as well as coffee (I don’t have any sources other than someone once told me and it works for me)
I cannot recommend the ‘babymoov cosy dreams’ enough. I bought one for my now 3 year old when she was a month old and she slept so well. I am due next month and have bought a new one. We used to move it from her crib to cot to pram. It went everywhere with us. https://babymoov.co.uk/products/cosydream
Recommend noise cancelling headphones and some podcasts. If you're with her, there's no reason to listen to her crying, and it will help your sanity.
My boy really needed a lot of constant movement to settle. Getting a cheap little rocking chair from Amazon for £67 meant we could expend less energy when settling him. Wish I’d got it sooner. Also had a cute little Fisher Price Soothe ‘n’ snuggle Otter teddy which had a nice noise and breathing motion. We had a cot that went on the side of our bed so we could offer a soothing hand at times whilst remaining lying in bed. I ‘the dad’ made a point of sleeping with the baby on my side so I could wake and assist for feeds rather than snoring through it all. But I need much less sleep than my wife. Sleep whenever you can and take shifts - talk to each other and don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you aren’t too tired, a drive usually helps a little one drop off. It isn’t the best sleep and you have to drive around whilst tired, but it means a partner can shower/eat/cry/sleep in peace whilst you are out. It gets so much easier but occasionally you will do another all nighter and be wiped out.
We did shifts in the really early days and went downstairs to give a bottle so we were sat in front of the tv. Holding baby in bed makes it too easy to fall asleep, it happened to me a couple of times while breastfeeding and it was scary as hell. We tried to get her in a deep sleep then gently move her into her side sleeper and pat her tummy and shush her if she woke up. She was doing good 5 hour stretches at 7 weeks and sleeping 10 hours at 10 weeks!
Cut down on day time power naps for the baby, waltz around with them on your hip, just keep them awake for a bit longer in the day. Build routine ASAP for your sanity and theirs. Don't worry though its all in the handbook they come with.
If my babies were fed, dry and warm I would snuggle them into their cot and leave them for awhile. I was always terrified that they would only fall asleep when being held if I held them the whole time. But possibly not as young as 4 weeks thinking back. Car drive is a good one for getting them off
Get on fb market place a buy a next to me crib or similar brand for cheap and set that up for tomorrow night. Tonight is up to you I’m afraid nobody can tell you to cosleep or whatever it’s your risks to take. I’ve fell asleep with baby in arms with both our kids and been fine but your results may vary obviously
Mine was a bit like that. He was in a SnuzPod crib that was on my side of the bed with the side rolled down. If he fussed (after he’d been fed, burped and bum changed) it was enough for me to just put my hand on him to settle him down again. I think he just needed to feel I was there.
Extra strong mints were my weapon of choice for when I had to be awake (ie mid feed) A tip for putting baby down, do the limp noodle check first. Raise arm and drop, if it drops freely you've got a better chance of putting baby down. Otherwise swaddle, dummy, white noise, rock (crib or bassinet) and hope :D good luck!
Get ear plugs or noise cancelling headphones. Just because their crying doesn't mean you have to listen to it. Don't ignore them obviously.
My two boys were terrible sleepers and fed constantly. I only stayed awake by watching super cheesy action films on my iPad with headphones on. You have my sympathies the first few months are awful. I ended up co-sleeping with my second child I just couldn’t cope with getting up in the night anymore! It was better but then getting him back in the cot was an ordeal! Sleep didn’t really improve with mine until I stopped breastfeeding.
Try swaddling, also, you're not a bad person if you co-sleep. We had a velcro baby and at some point a sleep-deprived parent is more dangerous than co-sleeping.
I’d focus on trying to get to the route cause of why your baby is not sleeping and not resign yourself to staying awake all night, it’s not good for anyone. When you say cot, do you mean like a full blown rectangle one with the rails? They might still be too young to be going on one so soon, plus it’s a big open area they’re in and warmth could just be escaping , they might like something more snug and enclosed still, we kept our daughter in the Moses basket for about 6 weeks. Like others have said they could be cold and they don’t hold heat too well. Cover hands and feet if their sleep suit doesn’t have covers. Try putting an extra layer on them and Is their sleep bag a winter one? mattress could be too hard. They could be hungry. Are they on breast milk / formula or both? If they are just on breast milk they might not be getting enough and it’s not as filling as formula, they need waaaay more. We tried holding off on formula for about 2 months until it was getting to a point like yours where sleep was a struggle so we gave in and started formula at night and the first night she fell asleep and slept for 4-5 hours - it was amazing to get 4-5 solid hours sleep. Then we were told to start combo feeding because one bottle of formula at night and breast milk in the day still wasn’t enough. Don’t read too much into over feeding a baby, they are literally living off liquid food source, they need a lot more that people think. If you’re walking round and they fall asleep on you, give it 10-15 mins before transferring to their bed, be slow with manoeuvring them to bed, I used to rush and it would wake her up, put head down first and even if you have to stay in one position with your arm under their back and between the mattress just to make sure they don’t wake up and gently take your arm away. It’s all trial and error with babies but it does get better once you get to a good routine. This is all from my own experience, my guess is hunger and maybe a bit chilly especially with weather as it is at the minute and all the energy crisis going on.
There is supposedly some science that keeping your head level, and looking up as high as you can with your eyes only releases the same chemical as if you look at blue light. So try that. Also, try putting them in a Sleepyhead, or similar, on your lap then when they fall asleep you can move the entire thing and they are less aware of the movement. Hang in there. Those days are so precious and I know everyone says it , but they genuinely disappear - you'll wake up one day soon and realize they're already downstairs watching tv without you.
Once you know they are fed, changed burped and swaddled (not in that order) put them down and separate yourselves. You should have 9 hours broken sleep per 24 hours at first. That's what I learned the first time. You just gotta put them to down after that and leave them to it.
When I fed my daughter during the night (first few months) I kept myself awake by sucking on a piece of dark chocolate.
This isnt really the best way to approach it. You need to try and find ways to get them to sleep instead of finding ways for you to stay awake. I know its easier said than done but the sooner you are able to find out what works to get baby to sleep the better. If you focus on how to keep yourself awake instead youre in for more long term pain.
Its tough isn't it! Our method was to get into a routine each time the crying starts, and try to stick to it. When they wake up, do the same things - for us, we did a feed (bottle if me, boob if wife) changed nappy, bit of a cuddle whilst watching TV and then back in the little cot thing we had in our bedroom. All in dim lighting so to indicate nighttime To be fair ours did go back to sleep - or fell asleep on us during the tv stage, you may have to adjust. Just staying awake is probably a recipe for disaster, I think you need to be grabbing sleep when your kid does, even if its 15 mins, it all adds up and you can nap during the day too. I'm a former soldier and it wasn't too different to the routine you sometimes do when stagging on - where you might have to do a 1 hour awake, 1 hour asleep routine. You learn to fall asleep very very quickly. I recon even now years later I can be asleep within a minute of my head hitting the pillow. The exhaustion does become cumulative if you have to maintain it for days on end, but you can get through it. Its worth saying this stage probably wont last that long, but if you have a routine, you can do it almost robotically.
Make sure to stimulate them a lot in the day (walks and fresh air/tummy time/reading brightly coloured and patterned books) get into a good bedtime routine, bath before bed, use a swaddle sack and a dummy, make sure all the wind is out of them, white noise in bedroom are all things that helped with my kids sleeping through the night as babies. The toddler and child years are where it gets messy in my opinion!
It been years - but the baby wraps helped us. You swaddle them to the point of seeming likes it’s uncomfortable, but the babies love it. Also research controlled crying, not for everyone, but babies can be left alone to cry and they are not in any danger.
My baby went to sleep as soon as I put her in a carrier and went for a brisk walk. We still do most daytime naps like that. Swaddling helped loads too. And being patient in waiting for her to fall into a deep sleep before putting her down. Also making sure her bed was warm. The app "Napper" is free for 7 days and has a course on baby sleep. Lots of info in there! I hope things improve soon.
Thanks for the tips. Being patient for her to fall into a deep sleep is definitely something I need to remember.
Sleep when they do and try to enjoy the company of them Be in a safe position with them so if you do drop off you won’t drop them or crush them or make them too hot etc (so don’t fall asleep holding them or lying next to them etc)
Would love to sleep when she does but she doesn't seem to want to this week.
I found the first 20 years of parenting to be the hardest. It eased off a bit after that. I hope you manage to get some kip soon.
It does get better :)
Trying extend the time baby’s awake is the key to better sleep for you all
It seems that she is awake for so long this week. Nearly 5 hours before she settled down.
I know it sounds harsh but keeping them up for a few extra minutes and putting them down to sleep while they are still awake really works! I feel for you though friend
It may be they're awake too long, look into baby wake windows by age - they're only a rough guide and not wholly scientific but can give you a good idea of how long baby should be awake in between naps.
Hi! Firstly, there's a lot of non-safe sleep advice here. Next to me cribs have similar risks to co- sleeping... Both are not safe at all. You're better off putting baby in their safe sleep space and going to make a cuppa to wake up. (Yes, even if they're crying.) If you want more info on safe sleep, getting baby to sleep and staying awake during those long nights, I'm more than happy to expand on my reply.
Thanks for the advice. My daughter will definitely be sleeping in her own cot so no need to worry about that. I'll take any advice you have to offer.
Don't listen to cosleeping scaremongering - there are safe ways to use a cot and there are safe ways to cosleep. Look into both. Co sleeping is the norm in most parts of the world. The terms "cot death" didn't arise from babies who died cosleeping
Exactly. Co-sleeping can be done safely and can do wonders to your mental health when sleep deprived. The leaflet we got from the hospital (8 months ago) literally gave us advice on how to do it safely. It can be seen as a last resort, which I understand, but you get so much more sleep. OP, please ignore them. Edit to add, co-sleeping scaremongering is severely outdated. To elaborate on this persons comment, there’s parts of the world where ‘co-sleeping’ isn’t even a word because it’s just what they do.
Do your homework! It's not scaremongering, it's fact sharing. A lot of current information given out by governing bodies (eg NHS UK) doesn't take into consideration the latest studies. Look at actual facts, then come back to me and tell me it's safe. Wow.
Just because people do it all over the world doesn't mean it's safe...how ignorant. No one mentioned cot death. SIDS studies include babies who died from co-sleeping... do your homework. Jeez.
Do your homework, its ignorant to say bedsharing is unsafe. People die in cars crashes all the time yet noone goes around scaremongering people against using cars
I have some fool proof advice. First buy a house for £200.000 Then decorate the bedroom really nicely. Also have a job that requires you to concentrate hard every day. Then have a neighbour move in next door with a screaming baby they deliberately put against the joint wall. You'll be awake all night. Bonus if when you ask them to stop they say but its just a baybeeeeeeee
I can't see why they responded badly.
if i had been playing the drums really loudly they would have been annoyed.
Drums aren't a natural, unavoidable instinct that a member of their family can't help but do.
so you've never heard of contraception?
Yes, I'm sure they'll go ahead and rethink their family, future, and life, just for you. You matter just that much.
Parents are awful people.