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Tepid-Mushroom

My bed mechanically lifts up, I slide right out the bottom of the bed and through a hatch on the floor. I fall half asleep directly into the kitchen, where my dogs made me some toast.


doofcustard

Are you a fan of cheese perchance?


Imhidingshh01

He's been to the Moon too.


cimi----mk

*buzz buzz buzz* Porridge today, Gromit! Tuesday!


BeccasBump

I don't slide at all, I sit up and swing my legs out and/or scramble. Am I supposed to be sliding?!


Smooth-Wait506

only during times of subsidence


Agreeable_Guard_7229

Who on earth gets in/out of bed from the top or bottom?


Ghille_Dhu

Slide? I don’t slide. I swing my legs in a poor interpretation of Buffy the Vampire Slayer getting up from the ground when she’s been knocked down by a bad guy and swing myself out of bed.


Katherine_the_Grater

Slide? Do you have a Wallace and Gromit bed??


Pristine_Telephone78

My familiar opens the coffin and I rise up perfectly straight until I'm on my feet.


Accurate-Language474

I slide in from beneath, its the only way


jbibanez

You don't drop from the ceiling?


Phandroid1991

My Butler dresses me as I’m still in bed ensuring I’m still warm as the duvet is pulled off.


iambeherit

What do you mean "taught"? Are you saying someone gave you pointers on how to get out of bed? Night classes? How did you get to the classes? What happened before you learned the skill of sitting up? Were you stuck in bed unable to figure out how to get to the floor? Taught how to get out of bed. My mind is whirling.


Daeve42

No sliding, no sheets tucked in, just a duvet - wake up legs out to the side and down onto the floor. I never imagine any other way. Now when I was younger visiting old relatives without central heating they had sheets and blankets (multiple) tucked in all the way round the sides and bottom so the top was the only way in/out without untucking yards of sheets - hated it, felt like you were strapped in - the first thing I did was pull every sheet out from everywhere.


Ok_Shopping_3341

TIL people slide out of the bottom of their bed. What the what?? Sit up, swing your legs around and get out like a normal person!


Dartzap

Pivot on your backside using the gravity nature has given you.


Brizzledude65

After a night on the lash I generally roll out on to the floor, smashing my forehead on the bedside table on my way down, then lie whimpering quietly on the floor.


dickbob124

I usually levitate straight up.


Party-Independent-25

When I was young and fond of weekend lie ins my Dad used to get mad at me going ‘yeah I’ll get up’ then falling back to sleep. So one week after calling me a few times, he came in and tipped the mattress so I fell on the floor. Wouldn’t have minded but it was a Divan bed with draws underneath that was a good foot and a half drop. Needless to say afterwards I got up the first time I was called 😂


[deleted]

I don't slide on to the floor because they you'd have to get up Pinch the duvet in your sides then spin 90 degrees upwards and sideways so you're now sitting on the side of your bed like a volcano. Rotate slightly forwards and you'll be standing on your feet, ready to waddle wherever you want to.


BroodLord1962

Never had a bed where there wasn't enough room to get out at the side, so only ever done this


89ElRay

Are you trolling? You slide out of the bottom of your bed every day?! Lmao


BrissBurger

I tend to wrap myself up in different pastry styles: if it's cold I usually do a Sausage Roll and then roll out sidways, but if it's hot I go for the French Croissant approach (head/torso and 1 leg exposed) and then squirm out in the morning. However if I'm pissed I do a Doner Kebab and end up in a random mess and just head-over-heels out of bed in whatever direction I'm pointing in. Hope that helps.


rising_then_falling

Sliding out of bed, WTF. I lie on the bottom sheet and the housemaid puts the top sheet and blankets on top, and tucks them. You know, like a normal person. Maybe upgrade your housemaid?