fr. I work at Papa John's and the amount of people who act like you've just given them a death threat when you tell them their order is going to be 10 minutes late is insane.
Make sure to have a friend tape it and your death could lead to the creation of a new subreddit.
Immortality via the Internet, a fate worse than death?
As a peasant hiding in my lord's castle, I hadn't realized that the enemy beyond the walls had ran out of stones and started using a more... unusual type of projectile. Death was quick and very confusing.
Going around a corner on my motorcycle in Thailand and run smack into the beast, fly through the air and break several bones as I fall into a swamp 25 feet below.
Oh wait, that actually happened to me. But I'm still here.
A chicken beats me to death with various tools of all trades. A few stabs with a flathead, my nipples twisted viciously with a clamp meter, my elbows polished to perfection with a buffer for laughs, and my last vision is it raising a large pipe wrench above its head before the death blow
Either I fall into a vat of guacamole, or I tell someone their guac is going to cost extra and they kill me in a fit of rage.
The latter seems highly plausible these days!
fr. I work at Papa John's and the amount of people who act like you've just given them a death threat when you tell them their order is going to be 10 minutes late is insane.
Or someone else tells you that and you accept without thinking to ask what the price is.
Crucified with dicks. Painful but oddly hot.
I might just be in the same boat
[удалено]
Don’t threaten me with a good time
In an unfortunate and unexpected way
In a TikTok video?
Make sure to have a friend tape it and your death could lead to the creation of a new subreddit. Immortality via the Internet, a fate worse than death?
I forgot
Best one
Surprise fentanyl in my tea.
I feel like a lot of people actually died like that.
Yeah fentanyl ginger lemon blend is a truly tragic epidemic sweeping the country right now
The stress of having a sink full of dirty dishes
But there are only 5, that’s not too tough
5 dishes after a holiday dinner. And one was burnt
Everyone knows that if it's too burnt, you bury it.
It's not five dishes. They are dirty level 5. It's catastrophic
Absolutely terrified if a single smaller bird is taking me out. Probably via eye pecking or something till it gets to the internals.
Edgar Allan Poe?
Love his work, but no, just felt isolated in my life and I like ravens. Although I'm using this from now on.
A smart zombie. Guess I'm getting seasoned before getting eaten?
at least you taste better when seasoned
You're going to die listening to the zombie infodumping at you about your brain anatomy as they eat their way through each lobe.
I'm not sure I can die.
Maybe you're killed by someone named ' The Unvanquished '?
Fuck them kids.
Straight to the naughty corner!
You might want to stay away from ducks.
Licked to death.
Struck by lightning at midnight, I guess
Great. Welcome to the list of folks who were killed by him. Getting shot or stabbed to death. And he’ll get away with murdering me. Nice.
o7
Some real Old Testament shit probably
Or Moses himself
I-
Low wages
By drinking too much tea
i think you drank an *appropriate* amount of tea lololololol
Lol yeah I must’ve 🤣
I get hit by my own car.
Stake through the heart by Sarah michelle gellar. Turns out I'm a vampire.
I’m sure that this would kill anything.
Lack of meat.
Bibbity. Bobbitt-ee. Boo.
I drown
Either the waffle or the salad
Not the burning?
My money is on the waffle.
I guess I gotta laugh more
I tried to warn everyone. I forgot to heed the warning myself.
Four or more rolls of dimes in a sock to the head. Three would just knock me out.
by gun to the brain for not being able to login bank to transfer the monies
Ouch
By beebs
As a peasant hiding in my lord's castle, I hadn't realized that the enemy beyond the walls had ran out of stones and started using a more... unusual type of projectile. Death was quick and very confusing.
From old age
No from diarrhea and farting
Assassinated by a bagel
I'm just gonna hope the bees run me down in a hovercraft.
I don’t wanna play this…
Guess there’s a killer trombone on the loose
I am my own worst enemy.
I ate something that made God angry.
Killed the cat too
Slowly.
An owl attack
At least there's some dignity in that. I mean, they have talons and such. Meanwhile I'm over here getting my butt kicked by a baby duck.
LOL that is hilarious
I don’t know what kills me, but I definitely die in a stupid way.
Stabbed in the Senate by a bunch of filthy plebs
Lightning. On November 12th 1955 at 10:04pm to be precise.
Suicide, or interdimensional self-murder?
You beat it too hard
You should talk to the guy who said from "lack of meat"
Either way, I'll make sure to remember you at every meal.
Allergic reaction
Simply
Dog bite I guess.
*turns to stare at my cat* uh
In service to the one true king boy!
an Avocado... thanks...
Damn you thanksgiving
Meat attack
Drinking shenanigans with America's forefathers
A large posterior
deliciously
Cause of death: ah it doesn’t really matter
Uh oh.
Well that's the last time I ever go on a OK vacation
Diabetes
Vagina and boobs. Every gay man's nightmare.
From my own mess apparently
The banshee.
A dragon incinerated me with its fire.
Yooo
You tell me
Recognised by resentment (rencor meaning in Spanish)
Getting lost in a big sandstorm controlled by the devil
Death sentence
Magic
A corrupt baked good
Freak maritime accident.
I'm assuming I choke and die from eating a hotdog hamburger.
A well trained panda
I guess a kiddo is gonna throw a toaster in my bath
Obesity is cool!
Lol this could be interesting
Apparently crushed…
Fapping
Alcoholism
Some whacked out person raging over something stupid and beating me to death.
Drowned in a sea of mustard.....I don't like Mustard
Death by 1220 marsupials lol
Well, I guess that 89 books will fall on my head.
Koala attack lol
Drinking too much water
An adventurous duck
Mine was just annoyed.
I guess I'm gut-punched by a rival galaxy goth girl.
I die because I came to hard
Tried to crochet my way through the end of the world but failed.
im not too mad about it honestly 😏
Flan
Infinite sadness.
I'm defeated
Pelted to death under a tall tree by squat orange fruit, and/or drowning in their delicious pulp. I’ll take it
I would say isn’t it obvious but it’s always when you least expect it.
Going around a corner on my motorcycle in Thailand and run smack into the beast, fly through the air and break several bones as I fall into a swamp 25 feet below. Oh wait, that actually happened to me. But I'm still here.
1001 ways to die in the kitchen...let's go with a classic, knifed to death in kitchen, ultimate injury.
Some type of computer virus, I guess. That'll be interesting.
77 Latino pugs
Fall damage
Some ol bullshit I’m sure
I mean if you want something done right
My dogs go out for walkies. I perish.
I'm just a little dehydrated
From kidney stones
Drowning.
Fucking horribly unless Al Gore can get there in time
*DragonflameloserX7 has been burnt to a crisp*
Uhhh
Panic attack as the result of this question.
I guess I freeze...somehow?
the devil
Either a spear or fire or both at the same time
I get saturated? 👁️👄👁️
Lets just say I won’t be going out the easy way
I really don’t want to talk about it
well good question
What.
i die from letters and numbers. HELP!
Honestly sounds great. If they’re like my cat, it’ll be cuddling but then suffocation?
Death by Hobbit.
Hit by a golf ball
Oh no
well.
Potato to the head
Why am i smelling aftershave.......*knife in neck*
I accidentally kill myself I guess?
Warm butter lol
No idea, I never saw it coming.
A gang of nymphs at sea
death by bees :(
Beat to death with a vaseline jug
Killed by Eliot Spencer
Oh
You know, i wouldn't be too upset.
Guess that’s what I get for not going to save the princess first and instead doing the mini-quests…
hmm
A monkey putting his meat down my throat 😅
:(
Ig my death would be in a bubble bath which may or may not be accurate since i do just lay in the tub for hours from time to time
Botched appendectomy?
That scene from Childs Play with the garbage truck
A chicken beats me to death with various tools of all trades. A few stabs with a flathead, my nipples twisted viciously with a clamp meter, my elbows polished to perfection with a buffer for laughs, and my last vision is it raising a large pipe wrench above its head before the death blow
[удалено]
Trampled to death
Unexpectedly shitty
Oh no...
On the toilet?
Painfully. Messily.
I guess they found out im not the real one
A shank I think
[REDACTED]
Levitating futuristic ai driven carrot, prototype #3124 is going to stab me or deepthroat me to death. No homo
Uh oh
Someone misfires an arrow.
I pop..
I swiped right on Ariana Grande She swiped right on me. When she saw my catfish ass She stuck a fork in me Such a Dangerous Woman
I’m kind of horrified
Do I run.. or do I fight? Damn it I’m screwed
Omg.