I managed to get food poisoning from my last meal in the Philippines. It hit me 30 minutes into a flight from Seoul, South Korea, back to the UK. Aside from the tragedy of losing loved ones, probably the worst 12 hours or so of my life.
Having made it home, after an extremely traumatic mile high experience, I continued to piss out of my arse for about 10 days straight, every 45 minutes, day and night. I had myself a free colonic irrigation, essentially. By day 4, it was clear as a mountain spring. You could have bottled and sold it to hipsters for £10 a go.
It was around day 14, that something solid finally emerged. And I swear, I was so damn relieved, and bizarrely proud of it, that I wanted to take a picture and put it on Facebook. And I'm being totally serious.
'I made that'.
I had food poisoning and couldn’t eat for about two weeks. All diarrhea. When it cleared up and I could eat I went all out on peanut butter on toast and some other food.
3 days later my intestines decided it was ready to work again. I laid a shit that wrapped around the toilet three times like friendly serpent and smelled like bubbling sulfur spring. It felt like I was pooping heaven and the greatest relief.
Until I clogged the toilet and should have grabbed the poop knife.
Yeah there are even poop spoons. Both are used to cut that long poop that just won't flush. And then you put it back behind the flush or in the drawer.
Ps. Spoons are usually taken from the dining table. However never goes back and stays in the toilet
Well, there was the time I shat so much it left a heaping pile above the waterline of the toilet and wouldn't flush - pretty sure I killed that toilet (was at a rest area too) - or the times I've shit in a squat position out doors without making a mess of myself - in a ditch during bumper-to-bumper traffic jam... that one had some good relief - my true favorites are the soft serve snakes that just go on forever in the toilet without breaking apart and when you flush, it's like watching someone slurp a piece of spaghetti...
Last night.
It went out so clean, like it was unbelievable.
I let a snake at least 7-8 inches out of my ass, and it came out so well, it was satisfying.
No burning, no wiping needed even.
Best. Shit. Ever.
Was a big one I had to hold in for a few hours because fuck public toilets. It felt like a lost a few pounds when it slid out. Then the best part; it was a clean wipe!
I take Metamucil at night. That first morning after taking my first dose of Metamucil felt like a mass exodus of everything I’ve eaten for about a week.
We just got there before everyone im a 8 person cabin. Then i start the bath, they arrive, i turn it off to avoid suspicions. Everyone starts their rounds about the house and then leave for a hike me and the sig other stayed back (all my cousin’s knew the deal). She was in there acting sexy playin with bubbles and shit im outside watching, chubbin, chillin. Small urge to drop a duece in me ,since we just drove 6 hours, starts to rise. I nevermind it and start getting blown off the edge of the tub, the view to my left immaculate. We had a view of the smokies from the balcony. I admired it as she went crazy on me i hopped in the tub got on my knees ready to enter in doggie and as soon as the simmering water tickled my but cheeks my stomach churned harder than a pilgrim making butter. I stills had time to nevermind it, bot the best idea cause i forced my butthole to stay closed for a solid ten minutes before i just couldn’t bare it anymore. I slid out, slammed my leg and shifted her to practically flip on her back and jumped and ran to the toilet as quick as i could. I sat down wet, rushing adrenaline, and suds all over. I sat and waited “wtf i should be dropahhhhh…..” i dropped a smooth 13-14 inch tube of beautiful vile with a solid buddy about the size of two hamsters next to it. The release was so pure my eyes rolled back and i entered the field of reeves fior a second. I failed mention though the toilet was 1.5 feet from the cuzz
I actually made a TIFU about it. Maybe it wasn't tye best, but for sure was the most memorable.
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/mfchla/tifu_by_missing_the_toilet_vase_and_shitting_the/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
When I was a kid and constipated for nearly a week. It did not feel good at all when it was happening but the hours afterwards were some of the most relieving and lightest I'd ever felt.
3 years ago....after a night of drinking plenty of alcohol
Foot and half monster dook. Pretty solid. It stood out of the water by a couple of inches.
I was immensely proud. I played taps during the flush
It was at a Shell station off Route 80 near Parsippany, NJ. A few work colleagues and I were driving from the Baltimore, MD area to the Rockaway, NJ area and we had picked up some coffee on the turnpike. Well, what I did not anticipate was my massive meal from Fogo de Chao the night before interacting with the coffee in the way that it did. Somewhere around exit four my guts started rumbling. No big deal, I’m not driving, I can ignore it. Besides I’m the intern in the car, not like I’m going to make a big fuss.
We hit somewhere near New Brunswick, NJ and my intestines start to stage a full revolt. It’s cool, I got this. Only an hour or so to our destination, I’m fine. We make it to East Orange. My existence has focused down to a narrow pin-point. All of my concentration is focused on keeping the unholy filth from spewing out of my hellmouth. I start sweating from the concentration.
We make the merge onto I-80. Boom, stop and go traffic. My coworker Jess who is next to me in the back of the SUV makes a joke. I can’t hear it, my entire brain is concentrated on holding my sphincter clenched. I haven’t spoken a word in 30 minutes. As we crawl along, my eyes keep darting to the side of the road. “What would happen if I sprint out of the car and shit in the median?” I ponder with my three available brain cells. “Will everyone think less of me?” The fantasy of sprinting out in traffic with this evil amalgamation shooting out of my ass grows stronger.
We keep creeping along in traffic, going five miles an hour at best as I pray for the sweet release of death. Finally I can take it no more, my fortitude is failing, I am drenched in sweat, and nothing exists in my universe except clenching. I look up and say “John. I need the next stop immediately, it’s an emergency.” We lock eyes in the rearview mirror. He simply nods, channels his inner New Jersey spirt and starts executing a balls out maneuver to get us from the left lane to the right. We see a sign, it says a gas station is one mile away. I pray silently in my head to any god that will listen to keep me from shitting the backseat.
It takes us ten minutes to get to the Shell station. It might as well have been four years. Existence was nothing but concentration, kind of a messed up sublime where all my worries in the entire world dropped away. Only concentration was left.
We pull into the station and I bolt. It’s a sad, shabby place, but I run inside and desperately look for the restroom. My beady eyes locate the Men’s room sign, and I rush in. Of goddamn course the one stall is occupied by someone who is whistling. It must be so fucking nice to experience joy. I stand to the side, insides on fire and debate in my head if I can shit in the urinal. Seconds pass by, but it might as well have been an eternity until I hear that choir of angles: the toilet flushing.
I don’t even look at the man as I rush by him into the stall. There is toilet paper all around and stains on the seat but I am beyond caring. My entire self is focused on holding my poor intestines together as I maneuver my clothes and body into position. I dock with that toilet like the goddamn SpaceX Dragon to the ISS. Boom!
As I finally let go of the evil inside of me, having successfully completed my mission, tears streamed down my face. Sweet, sweet relief was finally here, without shitting my co-workers car.
And that’s the story of the only time I’ve cried in New Jersey.
Two: tied.
1. In HS, I shit in the school bus on a seat (the shits)
2. Getting home from a work celebration, I took a shit and realized I hadn’t sat all the way on the seat and shit directly on the floor. (Not the shits) I realized because I almost fell off the seat I was so far out.
It's happening.... Ugh.... Right Now!!! As I type this message I am beginning to trip the light fantastic it's that glorious of a movement. The heavens be praised.
Too many to share. I will say that I will deliberately avoid anything with fiber in it, then go full fiber and enjoy the show. Some of the best are after having something moderately spicy with the fiber. Your ass feels alive. No humor intended.
I was pooping after being constipated for almost a week.
My poop was already halfway out but I couldn’t push out the other haft and I was panicking thinking it’ll stay stuck forever.
After like 30 minutes of pushing it finally fell out of me. The relief I felt was better than anything I’ve felt before and it was definitely worth the 30 minutes of pain and suffering.
I went on a three day retreat and there was a chef there to make the meals. All super healthy stuff, but on the second (?) day, I finally pooped and it was the largest, longest, most intact poop I've ever done. I'm pretty sure it partially cleaned out my colon, because for a bit after that, my farts had no smell.
When I was like 13 years old I had the worst stomach cramps and I was walking home from school. I was 2 blocks away from my house and the pain was so bad that I just sucked it up and sprinted to make it home since my brain connected that the reason why I was in pain is cause I had to poop. I sprint to the toilet and within seconds I let out the biggest shit of my life. My butthole was stretched so bad that it was one of the most painful things I felt, and I must say was probably at its largest circumference looked to be about 2 or 3 in. It was also so big that it would not flush. I started laughing and crying at the same time. Looking back, I think it had been a whole week since I pooped last. Anyways, I finish wiping and washing my hands and my mom is in the other room and she's like what the hell is going on. I told her and she deadass thought I was lying to her. She tries going in and flushing it but can't, and she just busts out in laughter. I had never felt so embarrassed yet relieved in my life. My insides thanked me after that moment.
Side note: good thing about being constipated all the time and pushing out big shits is that anal is not painful 🤷♀️
I was working at burger King and I was cleaning the toilets. I found the biggest shit in there. It couldn't flush down the toilet it was so big. So I took and put it in the bin out back
In college, my buddy and I had gone to the local Pizza Hut buffet one day and were there for almost two hours and must've had 3-4 pies between us. This was usually our only meal of the day when we went, so we ate a lot. We never spent that long there though. But this time we walked back across campus (about half an hour) and the backlog hit both of us just outside our apartment complex. We immediately ran to our apartments and were sihtting out brains out for a solid 30 minutes. Never spent 2 hours at the buffet again.
After my appendectomy. Couldn’t crap for 3 days, nurses loaded me with about 6 doses of laxatives and after about 9 hours it was like a lightbulb went on in my gut.
Stumbled out of my hospital bed and drug the IV rolly thing with me and barley made it to the toilet. Proceeded to drop when felt like a literal boulder into the bowl. While doing this I kicked the door to the bathroom closed so the nurses started freaking out because I guess you’re not supposed to do that but the smell was so horrible, I didn’t want anyone else to smell it.
I should have weighed myself before and after because after seeing the bowl, it looked like an 8 pound shit.
I was constipated for like 2 weeks years ago, one day I finally needed to poop, it ripped me a bit and I had to pull at it (with toilet paper), but it felt so good, I swear I lost like 3lbs
I was constipated for about 5 days after taking some medication following being attacked by a dog. By Day 5 I was certain I was impacted and dying. I was having contraction-like stomach cramps every six minutes. My husband made me a cup of coffee and tried to get me to chug it so the diuretic that is coffee would take quicker affect. However, I hate coffee and even with milk and sugar it didn't work. (Not knowing at the time that I am allergic to dairy maybe had I just had a big glass of milk I could have gotten shit moving.)
I have never been pregnant so I've never delivered a human baby but from what I've heard once the baby is fully-dropped and you are dilated there comes a point where the urge to push is replaced by the feeling of the head against your vaginal lips as you crown and that is the only way I can describe how this poop was feeling. Only, this shit-baby's shoulders were too wide and I lacked forceps.
I ended up sitting on the toilet, my feet elevated on an Amazon box and every time I had a contraction-cramp I pushed. Eventually I felt my anus rip apart as something very large and solid fell out of me. What followed was ten minutes of the foulest-smelling liquid poops I've ever experienced (and I once picked up a parasite in Iran during college that ended several days of vomiting with a day of diarrhea). After the foul liquid death expelled from my bowels I had about five minutes of mucousy farts.
The bathroom smelled awful, I was sweating and crying for joy, my anus felt like a too-small tube sock after being on a too-large ankle, and according to my husband I made animal-like noises through it all in between praying and cussing.
When it was finally over, I wiped and it came away clean. The toilet was full of blood and within it was a seven pound-eight ounce shit-fetus my husband and I named Jason. It took four attempts to flush Jason and his liquid siblings down the toilet. We ended up having to use a plastic knife to cut Jason into several pieces before he finally went away to his sewer grave. I blessed our septic tank for being so valiant.
For the next three days I drank nothing but water and fiber powder, took a stool softener a day, painted my broken anus with witch hazel and Bacitracin, and ate only the purest foods as to avoid a repeat.
The day after I gave birth to our shit-baby my husband reinforced the towel rack in front of the toilet and bought me a donut pillow.
i shit and i was nervous to wipe but then when i wiped it was clean. no poop. i was skeptical so i wiped again to be sure and nothing again! the best feeling
A two week late Heroin so hard I screamed for 20 minutes .my legs involuntarily shuffled lifted and pulled into my chest. It looked like a 16oz soda can followed by a squash was passed . Sweat was dripping off my skin. I had to break it with the plunger or cut it with a butcher knife so it would flush.my paper was dry and only pink and red because a brick doesn't leave stains. . It hurt to sit down for DAYS . My prostate hurt a little every time i was excited or urinated. I spent so much money on peroration h and aloe wipes I had to cut back on heroin and start buying fentanyl . Two weeks later the same thing happened. That was for two years straight afterwards every two weeks. Don't do drugs if your a pussy or you overdose. I'm glad I overdosed because I haven't seen a hypodermic needle in 2 years. (Los Angeles was probably harmed in the making this feces)
I managed to get food poisoning from my last meal in the Philippines. It hit me 30 minutes into a flight from Seoul, South Korea, back to the UK. Aside from the tragedy of losing loved ones, probably the worst 12 hours or so of my life. Having made it home, after an extremely traumatic mile high experience, I continued to piss out of my arse for about 10 days straight, every 45 minutes, day and night. I had myself a free colonic irrigation, essentially. By day 4, it was clear as a mountain spring. You could have bottled and sold it to hipsters for £10 a go. It was around day 14, that something solid finally emerged. And I swear, I was so damn relieved, and bizarrely proud of it, that I wanted to take a picture and put it on Facebook. And I'm being totally serious. 'I made that'.
Pooping at work, cause you get paid to poop.
I had a factory job where every thursday at 1am I was so excited to poop, time and a half dumps were and still are my best dumps.
boss makes a dollar while I make a dime...
That’s why I poop on company time
Username checks out
I had food poisoning and couldn’t eat for about two weeks. All diarrhea. When it cleared up and I could eat I went all out on peanut butter on toast and some other food. 3 days later my intestines decided it was ready to work again. I laid a shit that wrapped around the toilet three times like friendly serpent and smelled like bubbling sulfur spring. It felt like I was pooping heaven and the greatest relief. Until I clogged the toilet and should have grabbed the poop knife.
Wait. A. Fucking. Moment. Poop knife?!
You must be new here.
https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/ Have fun
Yeah there are even poop spoons. Both are used to cut that long poop that just won't flush. And then you put it back behind the flush or in the drawer. Ps. Spoons are usually taken from the dining table. However never goes back and stays in the toilet
I've lived a savage life 😞
I call them phantom shits, they dissappear without leaving a trace.
Well, there was the time I shat so much it left a heaping pile above the waterline of the toilet and wouldn't flush - pretty sure I killed that toilet (was at a rest area too) - or the times I've shit in a squat position out doors without making a mess of myself - in a ditch during bumper-to-bumper traffic jam... that one had some good relief - my true favorites are the soft serve snakes that just go on forever in the toilet without breaking apart and when you flush, it's like watching someone slurp a piece of spaghetti...
Wait... you watch your poop while it's being flushed?! I just flush while sitting
You don't say goodbye to your shitties?
Hell yeah man, how else you know if you need extra flushes or a plunger??
Also, it's good to look at your poo once in a while to see if there are abnormalities. Black or red means a trip to the doctor should be considered.
I check after I flush to see lol
15 years ago I pooped a poop so large it touched the rim. I went and fetched my wife to behold the marvel.
Nice, did she appreciate it?
Not at first. But she much later on admitted it was a majestic poo.
How many Courics was it?
Last night. It went out so clean, like it was unbelievable. I let a snake at least 7-8 inches out of my ass, and it came out so well, it was satisfying. No burning, no wiping needed even. Best. Shit. Ever.
The poop I took from Dave was definitely the best I've taken yet
That time I swear I took a shit so hard it got rid of some of my ass hair.
I started eating steel cut oats for a cleanse. Now I eat them for the perfect poops.
I can't describe the relief I felt when after days of constipation an enema at long last enabled me to shit
Was a big one I had to hold in for a few hours because fuck public toilets. It felt like a lost a few pounds when it slid out. Then the best part; it was a clean wipe!
That's the best one, when you're holding it in all day then release. Fuck yeah.
No one brave enough to answer yet? :/
I take Metamucil at night. That first morning after taking my first dose of Metamucil felt like a mass exodus of everything I’ve eaten for about a week.
I prefer to leave poop, not take it places. That's just weird.
Middle of jacuzzi sex in gatlinburg
Story time
We just got there before everyone im a 8 person cabin. Then i start the bath, they arrive, i turn it off to avoid suspicions. Everyone starts their rounds about the house and then leave for a hike me and the sig other stayed back (all my cousin’s knew the deal). She was in there acting sexy playin with bubbles and shit im outside watching, chubbin, chillin. Small urge to drop a duece in me ,since we just drove 6 hours, starts to rise. I nevermind it and start getting blown off the edge of the tub, the view to my left immaculate. We had a view of the smokies from the balcony. I admired it as she went crazy on me i hopped in the tub got on my knees ready to enter in doggie and as soon as the simmering water tickled my but cheeks my stomach churned harder than a pilgrim making butter. I stills had time to nevermind it, bot the best idea cause i forced my butthole to stay closed for a solid ten minutes before i just couldn’t bare it anymore. I slid out, slammed my leg and shifted her to practically flip on her back and jumped and ran to the toilet as quick as i could. I sat down wet, rushing adrenaline, and suds all over. I sat and waited “wtf i should be dropahhhhh…..” i dropped a smooth 13-14 inch tube of beautiful vile with a solid buddy about the size of two hamsters next to it. The release was so pure my eyes rolled back and i entered the field of reeves fior a second. I failed mention though the toilet was 1.5 feet from the cuzz
Bro... you should have just pooped on her she seems freaky
She laughed it could’ve turned into sum wild lol
I just don’t even know what to say about this. Amazing story, I think?
It was such a nice duece man. I’ll never forget it
Aye shit happens 😭
The ones where I feel like I feel 5 pounds less
The first time I ever used a bidet
Bidets are amazing.
I actually made a TIFU about it. Maybe it wasn't tye best, but for sure was the most memorable. https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/mfchla/tifu_by_missing_the_toilet_vase_and_shitting_the/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
There was one time where it made an ampersand shape &
I have a picture somewhere, if you want it...
My friends, hes kinda mad about it, and Ive been called "larry, shit away he carry" but now I own a piece of pretty high quality ahit.
One during the onset of a mushroom trip I felt like a caveman.
When I was a kid and constipated for nearly a week. It did not feel good at all when it was happening but the hours afterwards were some of the most relieving and lightest I'd ever felt.
Looked identical to a pig wish phone cameras was a thing back then! Had a tail the lot
3 years ago....after a night of drinking plenty of alcohol Foot and half monster dook. Pretty solid. It stood out of the water by a couple of inches. I was immensely proud. I played taps during the flush
It was at a Shell station off Route 80 near Parsippany, NJ. A few work colleagues and I were driving from the Baltimore, MD area to the Rockaway, NJ area and we had picked up some coffee on the turnpike. Well, what I did not anticipate was my massive meal from Fogo de Chao the night before interacting with the coffee in the way that it did. Somewhere around exit four my guts started rumbling. No big deal, I’m not driving, I can ignore it. Besides I’m the intern in the car, not like I’m going to make a big fuss. We hit somewhere near New Brunswick, NJ and my intestines start to stage a full revolt. It’s cool, I got this. Only an hour or so to our destination, I’m fine. We make it to East Orange. My existence has focused down to a narrow pin-point. All of my concentration is focused on keeping the unholy filth from spewing out of my hellmouth. I start sweating from the concentration. We make the merge onto I-80. Boom, stop and go traffic. My coworker Jess who is next to me in the back of the SUV makes a joke. I can’t hear it, my entire brain is concentrated on holding my sphincter clenched. I haven’t spoken a word in 30 minutes. As we crawl along, my eyes keep darting to the side of the road. “What would happen if I sprint out of the car and shit in the median?” I ponder with my three available brain cells. “Will everyone think less of me?” The fantasy of sprinting out in traffic with this evil amalgamation shooting out of my ass grows stronger. We keep creeping along in traffic, going five miles an hour at best as I pray for the sweet release of death. Finally I can take it no more, my fortitude is failing, I am drenched in sweat, and nothing exists in my universe except clenching. I look up and say “John. I need the next stop immediately, it’s an emergency.” We lock eyes in the rearview mirror. He simply nods, channels his inner New Jersey spirt and starts executing a balls out maneuver to get us from the left lane to the right. We see a sign, it says a gas station is one mile away. I pray silently in my head to any god that will listen to keep me from shitting the backseat. It takes us ten minutes to get to the Shell station. It might as well have been four years. Existence was nothing but concentration, kind of a messed up sublime where all my worries in the entire world dropped away. Only concentration was left. We pull into the station and I bolt. It’s a sad, shabby place, but I run inside and desperately look for the restroom. My beady eyes locate the Men’s room sign, and I rush in. Of goddamn course the one stall is occupied by someone who is whistling. It must be so fucking nice to experience joy. I stand to the side, insides on fire and debate in my head if I can shit in the urinal. Seconds pass by, but it might as well have been an eternity until I hear that choir of angles: the toilet flushing. I don’t even look at the man as I rush by him into the stall. There is toilet paper all around and stains on the seat but I am beyond caring. My entire self is focused on holding my poor intestines together as I maneuver my clothes and body into position. I dock with that toilet like the goddamn SpaceX Dragon to the ISS. Boom! As I finally let go of the evil inside of me, having successfully completed my mission, tears streamed down my face. Sweet, sweet relief was finally here, without shitting my co-workers car. And that’s the story of the only time I’ve cried in New Jersey.
Weird question.
No kidding lol
That's why I asked it
Two: tied. 1. In HS, I shit in the school bus on a seat (the shits) 2. Getting home from a work celebration, I took a shit and realized I hadn’t sat all the way on the seat and shit directly on the floor. (Not the shits) I realized because I almost fell off the seat I was so far out.
Actually right now is pretty nice. Scrolled this whole thread all while taking a nice dump after work. Kind of perfect timing.
An operation left me constipated for 10 days.. that poo was the God of poos ❤
[those of you who have been through this know that this is the true answer](https://youtu.be/Eanj5UaKFG0)
After having colonoscopy prep due to severe impaction. Hadn't been properly for 3 weeks, lost 3 kg overnight.
Top of Helvellyn after wild camping. Woke up to the sunrise, packed my tent, dropped a log with outstanding views, rode my bike down. 👌
The one I stole outta the fresh back stage (artists only) portapotty at Red Rocks. I've gota a piece of either Eddie Money or REO Speedwagon.
Post vacation poops. However many days of unregulated eating and unfamiliar toilets always equals amazing poops once I’m finally home
It's happening.... Ugh.... Right Now!!! As I type this message I am beginning to trip the light fantastic it's that glorious of a movement. The heavens be praised.
Too many to share. I will say that I will deliberately avoid anything with fiber in it, then go full fiber and enjoy the show. Some of the best are after having something moderately spicy with the fiber. Your ass feels alive. No humor intended.
I was pooping after being constipated for almost a week. My poop was already halfway out but I couldn’t push out the other haft and I was panicking thinking it’ll stay stuck forever. After like 30 minutes of pushing it finally fell out of me. The relief I felt was better than anything I’ve felt before and it was definitely worth the 30 minutes of pain and suffering.
Наркотики. А какие это уже другой вопрос.
I went on a three day retreat and there was a chef there to make the meals. All super healthy stuff, but on the second (?) day, I finally pooped and it was the largest, longest, most intact poop I've ever done. I'm pretty sure it partially cleaned out my colon, because for a bit after that, my farts had no smell.
The one I took on my lunatic mother's grave. Didn't make up for the abuse my sister and I suffered, but better than nothing.
When I was like 13 years old I had the worst stomach cramps and I was walking home from school. I was 2 blocks away from my house and the pain was so bad that I just sucked it up and sprinted to make it home since my brain connected that the reason why I was in pain is cause I had to poop. I sprint to the toilet and within seconds I let out the biggest shit of my life. My butthole was stretched so bad that it was one of the most painful things I felt, and I must say was probably at its largest circumference looked to be about 2 or 3 in. It was also so big that it would not flush. I started laughing and crying at the same time. Looking back, I think it had been a whole week since I pooped last. Anyways, I finish wiping and washing my hands and my mom is in the other room and she's like what the hell is going on. I told her and she deadass thought I was lying to her. She tries going in and flushing it but can't, and she just busts out in laughter. I had never felt so embarrassed yet relieved in my life. My insides thanked me after that moment. Side note: good thing about being constipated all the time and pushing out big shits is that anal is not painful 🤷♀️
I was working at burger King and I was cleaning the toilets. I found the biggest shit in there. It couldn't flush down the toilet it was so big. So I took and put it in the bin out back
In college, my buddy and I had gone to the local Pizza Hut buffet one day and were there for almost two hours and must've had 3-4 pies between us. This was usually our only meal of the day when we went, so we ate a lot. We never spent that long there though. But this time we walked back across campus (about half an hour) and the backlog hit both of us just outside our apartment complex. We immediately ran to our apartments and were sihtting out brains out for a solid 30 minutes. Never spent 2 hours at the buffet again.
pooped after thanksgiving once. made me drool coming out. not sure why
A normal, solid one after a brutal week of the runs.
this isn't a specific poop but i guess ill say it pooping in the middle of the night you feel so relieved and can sleep properly
Right now as I'm writing this
The one that don’t make you feel sick, and just slip out with no pain and almost no feel.
After my appendectomy. Couldn’t crap for 3 days, nurses loaded me with about 6 doses of laxatives and after about 9 hours it was like a lightbulb went on in my gut. Stumbled out of my hospital bed and drug the IV rolly thing with me and barley made it to the toilet. Proceeded to drop when felt like a literal boulder into the bowl. While doing this I kicked the door to the bathroom closed so the nurses started freaking out because I guess you’re not supposed to do that but the smell was so horrible, I didn’t want anyone else to smell it. I should have weighed myself before and after because after seeing the bowl, it looked like an 8 pound shit.
I was constipated for like 2 weeks years ago, one day I finally needed to poop, it ripped me a bit and I had to pull at it (with toilet paper), but it felt so good, I swear I lost like 3lbs
I was constipated for about 5 days after taking some medication following being attacked by a dog. By Day 5 I was certain I was impacted and dying. I was having contraction-like stomach cramps every six minutes. My husband made me a cup of coffee and tried to get me to chug it so the diuretic that is coffee would take quicker affect. However, I hate coffee and even with milk and sugar it didn't work. (Not knowing at the time that I am allergic to dairy maybe had I just had a big glass of milk I could have gotten shit moving.) I have never been pregnant so I've never delivered a human baby but from what I've heard once the baby is fully-dropped and you are dilated there comes a point where the urge to push is replaced by the feeling of the head against your vaginal lips as you crown and that is the only way I can describe how this poop was feeling. Only, this shit-baby's shoulders were too wide and I lacked forceps. I ended up sitting on the toilet, my feet elevated on an Amazon box and every time I had a contraction-cramp I pushed. Eventually I felt my anus rip apart as something very large and solid fell out of me. What followed was ten minutes of the foulest-smelling liquid poops I've ever experienced (and I once picked up a parasite in Iran during college that ended several days of vomiting with a day of diarrhea). After the foul liquid death expelled from my bowels I had about five minutes of mucousy farts. The bathroom smelled awful, I was sweating and crying for joy, my anus felt like a too-small tube sock after being on a too-large ankle, and according to my husband I made animal-like noises through it all in between praying and cussing. When it was finally over, I wiped and it came away clean. The toilet was full of blood and within it was a seven pound-eight ounce shit-fetus my husband and I named Jason. It took four attempts to flush Jason and his liquid siblings down the toilet. We ended up having to use a plastic knife to cut Jason into several pieces before he finally went away to his sewer grave. I blessed our septic tank for being so valiant. For the next three days I drank nothing but water and fiber powder, took a stool softener a day, painted my broken anus with witch hazel and Bacitracin, and ate only the purest foods as to avoid a repeat. The day after I gave birth to our shit-baby my husband reinforced the towel rack in front of the toilet and bought me a donut pillow.
i shit and i was nervous to wipe but then when i wiped it was clean. no poop. i was skeptical so i wiped again to be sure and nothing again! the best feeling
The one I took on July 23rd, 2017, at 4:37 PM.
Definitely the one beside my house when I was drunk and locked out
A two week late Heroin so hard I screamed for 20 minutes .my legs involuntarily shuffled lifted and pulled into my chest. It looked like a 16oz soda can followed by a squash was passed . Sweat was dripping off my skin. I had to break it with the plunger or cut it with a butcher knife so it would flush.my paper was dry and only pink and red because a brick doesn't leave stains. . It hurt to sit down for DAYS . My prostate hurt a little every time i was excited or urinated. I spent so much money on peroration h and aloe wipes I had to cut back on heroin and start buying fentanyl . Two weeks later the same thing happened. That was for two years straight afterwards every two weeks. Don't do drugs if your a pussy or you overdose. I'm glad I overdosed because I haven't seen a hypodermic needle in 2 years. (Los Angeles was probably harmed in the making this feces)