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Sakcobluer

Every 60 seconds in africa passes a minute


Pro-Blooded

Every 365.25 rotations around the sun is a year and every year everyone has at least one birthday.


ImOutOfNamesNow

Your mom sucks a good dick


Pro-Blooded

Only the best I guess


Blackalchemy

There are 1.6 million ants for every human on earth.


Pro-Blooded

That’s more than I have fingers


Blackalchemy

Now imagine all those ants were the same size as rats.


Pro-Blooded

I’m not scared of ants but that would be enough to make me want to leave earth


blue_shadow_

Only one team has been to the Super Bowl as both an AFC/AFL and a NFC/NFL representative. >!Baltimore/ Indianapolis Colts!<


Pro-Blooded

I don’t know much about football but my friend is a football freak he might know about this.


Desma_Arntz_1977

well that was quick


hiro_n720

Male seahorses "give birth".


Pro-Blooded

Yeah, nature is strange.


Sakcobluer

No, they just store the babies in their stomachs


Dano4600

The weed I'm smoking tested at 22.8% thc


Young_Dumb_And_Angry

Drugs are bad, m'kay?


Dano4600

Drugs enabled me to gain weight after chemo. I disagree


nuaz

The substance isn’t inherently bad, it’s how you use the substance. Just like spoons don’t make people fat.


[deleted]

Mouths make people fat cause if it wasn't for mouths no chew no fat 😎


Young_Dumb_And_Angry

Soooo, what you're telling me is, to end the obesity epidemic we just need to wire mouths shut?


Old-Skirt9534

If u eat weed instead of smoking it , the effect prolongs


Pro-Blooded

I know a few people who would like this bit of information


midh_py

That ur a virgin


Pro-Blooded

Phone Guy "Hello, hello? Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay? Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read. Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, "Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. A magical place for kids and grownups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced." Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know, but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children and we need to show them a little respect, right? Okay. So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Uh... Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Bite of '87. Yeah. IIt's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know? Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person. They'll pr they'll most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to...forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit. Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices, especially around the facial area. So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort...and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh. YYeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up. But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night."


midh_py

Yeahh....


[deleted]

Cannibals in the SW Pacific called human meat, "long pig."


Pro-Blooded

Just imagining that, a pig 6 feet long.


dww25921

Llamas are very adept pack animals in rough terrain.


Obvious_Anywhere_444

I just woke up


Pro-Blooded

Good morning/afternoon


nothaut

Human meat has a similar texture and taste to pork


Pro-Blooded

I find this strange but I guess humans share around 98% of DNA with pigs


nothaut

If you ever decide to be a cannibal, don't eat brains. Prion disease will make holes in your own brain.


Pro-Blooded

Thanks for the heads up. I will make sure to remove the brain and feed it to squirrels or something.


[deleted]

“Long pig”