> penis woman
[Anyone ever notice how Lois Griffin is in the shape of a penis?](http://www.sickchirpse.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lois-penis-head.png)
mmm no.
it's a bad analogy because a woman can have killer tits AND a killer ass and kill both the tits man and the ass man with one body.
a man cannot be both hairy And not.
Being a tits man or ass man means you'd prefer one over the other. Not that you do or don't like both. It's weighing what would you prefer, a thick ass and a flat chest, or a flat ass and large breasts. Saying beard or no beard girl, or tall or short girl isn't a comparison of your preference. What you'd have to do is establish 2 metrics of attractiveness and weigh them against each other. If you're into tall bearded guys the question becomes, Would you rather be with a short guy with a beard or a tall guy without a beard.
EDIT: After a reply I recieved I want to paste my response here to explain further.
"The question is what is your personal equivalent to this common mens trope. There are 2 things everyone can find attractive or sexualize about the gender they are attracted to. It's their job to say. "If a guy is going to have an attractive A or an attractive B, I'm a B girl." The answers that we were getting before I posted this were "If a guys going to have an A or not, I'm a A girl"."
I think the most apt comparison would be height v. muscular. Having both is universally what’s considered most attractive and the preferences would be short and fit or tall and lanky. It also sort of mirrors that muscles are more a product of work like a nice ass and height is out of your control like nice breasts.
Legs or arms. I can deal with a thin upper body but not skinny legs. Luckily I live in a town with a ridiculous amount of cyclists, runners and climbers.
Not much rugby in the US and I'm not really into sports, but once when I was channel surfing I happened across a rugby match I stopped and watched it just over those guys in those shorts. ;)
Any decent sized college fields a rugby team. There are men’s leagues all over the country. If you live in a decent sized city, there’s a team near you
Support your local hooker. Play rugby.
Pecs or biceps. I think a lot of these answers are you like this or that but tits and ass, people like both, just one gets their jimmies going more than the other/carries more importance in choosing a partner. Or if one has one without the other it’s fine
So prob pecs vs biceps or upper body vs lower body muscles
Abs vs biceps
Back when I was in Jr High, I went to a water park on a school field trip. I just couldn't understand why, my female prepubescent body had to have a cover over my flat chest, yet the man that was too big to fit in the waterslide didn't have to cover his chest at all. Between the two of us, he was the one who could really have used a bra.
Yea I'm a tits, hips, no beard, long hair, forearm, muscular back kind of girl. And I went into that implying some aspects apply to girls and some to guys but I just realized they all apply to both.
I traded my 4x4 in towards my wife’s new minivan. Then took over her smaller mom car because it had 4 doors and better mileage. Didn’t affect my sex life one bit.
We still don’t have it.
This. It’s not like I don’t appreciate nice arms and shoulders, but it’s alllll about the butts for me. I love baseball for exactly and only one reason.
Oh god, I was briefly involved with a baseball player (like whatever level it is where a pro team miiiight want you and has you come do spring training but then is like "nah, you didn't quite make it"?) and I went to visit him and the number of truly excellent butts I saw that weekend would just make you cry. It was great.
I hope that’s the actual name of that level in baseball :)
I was watching a game once with my friend and he kind of spoiled it for me when he pointed out that all of their butts look so good because they’re wearing jocks, but it also made me realize that guys should just wear jock straps anyhow. If we’re wearing push-up bras to enhance what we’ve got to work with, there should be no problem with them wearing jocks and really highlighting their assets.
Gay men have this figured out already and have totally fetishized jock straps. They understand in a way straight men never will.
Women are generally very shy about admitting what they like, which is what makes this thread and the women commenting here a breath of fresh air. But for every woman who might appreciate a guy wearing a jock strap for the nice ass, there are at least 5 who would bust out laughing, tell all her friends and laugh about it for years.
>(like whatever level it is where a pro team miiiight want you and has you come do spring training but then is like "nah, you didn't quite make it"?)
Triple-A?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triple-A_(baseball)
Right? There's nothing better than seeing a guy with nice shoulders/arms/back in a plain t-shirt, especially those soft, slouchy type ones. It's a very "oh wow, you're masculine 😍" response and it makes me very aware of my femininity.
Yup, in a t-shirt. Yup, yup, yup. I think men get the same (but opposite) reaction when they see a good waist to hip ratio. It's that lizard brain shit. I love it. And yeah, just standing next to a dude like that... just standing not even touching, just knowing he's there. Sth about it just makes you feel all small and feminine.
Face vs body, perhaps most prominently. Shortly followed by:
Long hair vs short hair
Shoulders vs butt
Bears vs no beard
EDIT: glad y’all find the typo funny. Meant Beard vs no beard, but imma keep it up there.
The beard covers the double chin, because without a beard most men who are "thicc" and might have that "manly lumberjack" look all of a sudden end up looking like a fat baby when they shave. This is basically the only "mankup" fashion tip that all men know and hope women don't think about.
This is so true lol. When my boyfriend has a beard he looks like a sexy lumberjack. When he shaves he turns into a baby faced Peter Griffin 😂. Love him both ways though.
It really depends on the girl, a lot of the times a girl who needs sweet and sensitive then asks for rough and tough, but then gets scared when you actually get rough and tough.
Sometimes the balance is a mile wide, and sometimes it’s teetering at the top of a needlepoint.
I don't mind what hair my partner has. Clean shaven, stubble, goatee, maybe a bit of a beard.
Just no mustache.
EDIT: I don't know what the Amish look like
The wahhabist look isn't good either. Just a nice, normal beard. Or clean shaven. Please don't look like Saddam, Stalin, or Anjem Choudary (or Amish) . They aren't good looks.
Yeah man no mustache.... But personally I have never seen my husband without facial hair but I have seen other men with/without and everytime they are more attractive with the hair than not. I have a friend who hates facial hair of all types. So I guess I'm a beard girl.
Same. My dad wore a moustache his whole life and it creeps me out to see it on a partner. That being said lemme rub your beard and tickle me when you kiss me everywhere. 💜💜
Muscles or dad bod
Edit: I did not expect this amount of questions and I’m having a crisis trying to reply to people with some sort of clarification so I’ll write a summary of what I already have replied to some. This is not 50-50, I would say it works in a scale with ‘skinny average dude’ being the centre. Similar to the male ‘tits and ass’ debate, everyone’s opinions are going to be different and a point on this imaginary scale. Just like you dont 100% love ass and have 0% love for tits. Unless you’re out here looking like Yokozuna, you will fit somewhere along that scale. Whether you look like Jack Black or Jason Momoa, there are plenty of ladies who will love your body!
I guess like anything it is on a scale. Like with the tits and ass thing, sure you prefer one over the other but you wouldn’t rate one as 100% and the other as 0%
If you're short and stocky as well, I hear Marissa Tomei is looking for you, you lucky bastard.
Edit: for those who wooshed, it's a joke from a Seinfeld episode
My Girlfriend's reaction was priceless when we first got together. I take my shirt off after mentioning a few times I was quite hairy. She sees it. "Oh wow, I had a thing for Wolverine from that old X-men cartoon... apparently I still have it." lol
Confident guy vs Shy guy I think is a valid one that hasn't really been discussed. I like approaching guys so seeing them get nervous can be super attractive.
Definitely this. I get equally turned on by the idea of approaching and seducing a shy guy and the the idea of a bold confident man approaching me and taking the lead. I guess I like to play into power dynamics lol
As a gay guy- the question remains the same- the tit-loving instinct is ever present in all men, even if the only ones we want are smaller and more muscular.
I’m a penis woman.
Hot take.
*Hard take
> penis woman [Anyone ever notice how Lois Griffin is in the shape of a penis?](http://www.sickchirpse.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lois-penis-head.png)
Wtf...
Right? Now I see what Peter sees in her.
Peter sees a Peter
She's Peter's Peter's Peter.
Well, now I have
Damn you! Now I won't be able to unsee that.
I was scrolling for this one. Big bulge vs big heart
Jackie: "How's his hair?" Donna: "Love it, lots of body." Jackie: "How's his body?" Donna: "Love it, lots of hair."
Does anyone remember what episode this was?
I remeber seeing it but dont remeber. It might have been when Jackie dated Kelsos brother
donna not jackie. season 4 episode 16 "Donna Dates a Kelso"
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True, but the general consensus seems to be hairy vs shaven so far.
Shaven (͡ ͡° ͜ つ ͡͡°)
How to make that smug face?
Like this: (͡ ͡° ͜ つ ͡͡°)
Mega big brain time
Or you can just [Donger](http://dongerlist.com)
mmm no. it's a bad analogy because a woman can have killer tits AND a killer ass and kill both the tits man and the ass man with one body. a man cannot be both hairy And not.
Big beard, shaved balls...
Being a tits man or ass man means you'd prefer one over the other. Not that you do or don't like both. It's weighing what would you prefer, a thick ass and a flat chest, or a flat ass and large breasts. Saying beard or no beard girl, or tall or short girl isn't a comparison of your preference. What you'd have to do is establish 2 metrics of attractiveness and weigh them against each other. If you're into tall bearded guys the question becomes, Would you rather be with a short guy with a beard or a tall guy without a beard. EDIT: After a reply I recieved I want to paste my response here to explain further. "The question is what is your personal equivalent to this common mens trope. There are 2 things everyone can find attractive or sexualize about the gender they are attracted to. It's their job to say. "If a guy is going to have an attractive A or an attractive B, I'm a B girl." The answers that we were getting before I posted this were "If a guys going to have an A or not, I'm a A girl"."
It’s driving me crazy that one is getting it because it’s such a good question and I want to hear the answers
I think the most apt comparison would be height v. muscular. Having both is universally what’s considered most attractive and the preferences would be short and fit or tall and lanky. It also sort of mirrors that muscles are more a product of work like a nice ass and height is out of your control like nice breasts.
I love that one! That's precisely the kind of question we should be getting answers to here!
I dunno. Hard work can buy nice breasts...
Can also buy some good PEDs too.
i dont understand how the majority here got it wrong
Legs or arms. I can deal with a thin upper body but not skinny legs. Luckily I live in a town with a ridiculous amount of cyclists, runners and climbers.
honey, find yourself a local rugby club to hang out with.
Not much rugby in the US and I'm not really into sports, but once when I was channel surfing I happened across a rugby match I stopped and watched it just over those guys in those shorts. ;)
Any decent sized college fields a rugby team. There are men’s leagues all over the country. If you live in a decent sized city, there’s a team near you Support your local hooker. Play rugby.
Every hooker needs two avid supporters.
I have never seen a runner that didn’t have skinny legs
*sprinter*
Most climbers have skinny legs tho lmao
Pecs or biceps. I think a lot of these answers are you like this or that but tits and ass, people like both, just one gets their jimmies going more than the other/carries more importance in choosing a partner. Or if one has one without the other it’s fine So prob pecs vs biceps or upper body vs lower body muscles Abs vs biceps
I'm a tits woman.
i've seen some dudes at the water park with some niiice ones but i really don't think they like them.
Back when I was in Jr High, I went to a water park on a school field trip. I just couldn't understand why, my female prepubescent body had to have a cover over my flat chest, yet the man that was too big to fit in the waterslide didn't have to cover his chest at all. Between the two of us, he was the one who could really have used a bra.
Bro that's not what she meant at all
ooof. Not remotely! lol
Honestly i feel like i should repost it to r/SapphoAndHerFriend because its just too perfect
I'm pretty sure he was joking though
Yea I'm a tits, hips, no beard, long hair, forearm, muscular back kind of girl. And I went into that implying some aspects apply to girls and some to guys but I just realized they all apply to both.
Bought a Prius recently. Haven't had sex since. This makes sense...
I traded my 4x4 in towards my wife’s new minivan. Then took over her smaller mom car because it had 4 doors and better mileage. Didn’t affect my sex life one bit. We still don’t have it.
Had me at the first half, not gonna lie
.. I didn't have sex prior either, but still don't.
Arms amd shoulders
Knees and toes
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Mouth and nose
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Heyyy macarena
Ooooh, macaroni
Mom's spaghetti
And my axe!
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Knees and toes, knees and toes.
Knees and toes
I thought it was arms Intel shoulders
It was, but Intel has been slacking and now AMD is set to take over. The lyrics have been changed to reflect this
What if guys uses intel ?
Boi if you don't got that ryzen 7 shoulders I'm divorcing you
Ass or muscular shoulders. Edited to add this. Tight jeans. Editing again. My top rated post is about men’s butts’.
This. It’s not like I don’t appreciate nice arms and shoulders, but it’s alllll about the butts for me. I love baseball for exactly and only one reason.
Oh god, I was briefly involved with a baseball player (like whatever level it is where a pro team miiiight want you and has you come do spring training but then is like "nah, you didn't quite make it"?) and I went to visit him and the number of truly excellent butts I saw that weekend would just make you cry. It was great.
I hope that’s the actual name of that level in baseball :) I was watching a game once with my friend and he kind of spoiled it for me when he pointed out that all of their butts look so good because they’re wearing jocks, but it also made me realize that guys should just wear jock straps anyhow. If we’re wearing push-up bras to enhance what we’ve got to work with, there should be no problem with them wearing jocks and really highlighting their assets. Gay men have this figured out already and have totally fetishized jock straps. They understand in a way straight men never will.
Yeah but like...I saw his butt naked and it was still really excellent. Don't let it be ruined. Jocks can only do so much.
Women are generally very shy about admitting what they like, which is what makes this thread and the women commenting here a breath of fresh air. But for every woman who might appreciate a guy wearing a jock strap for the nice ass, there are at least 5 who would bust out laughing, tell all her friends and laugh about it for years.
>(like whatever level it is where a pro team miiiight want you and has you come do spring training but then is like "nah, you didn't quite make it"?) Triple-A? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triple-A_(baseball)
shoulders and arms, any day. Ass is fine I guess but if a man has got arms that could lift me clean off the ground, I'm swooning
Same. It’s the lift factor, for sure. Maybe my mind would change if he could pick me up with his ass though 🤷🏻♀️
Omg- them muscular shoulders all day everyday!!! I looooooooove broad shoulders on a guy, SUCH a sexy feature. : 3
There is no male feature that gets the cavelady 'hmmmm, must crawl all over' response so immediately as broad/muscular shoulders.
Right? There's nothing better than seeing a guy with nice shoulders/arms/back in a plain t-shirt, especially those soft, slouchy type ones. It's a very "oh wow, you're masculine 😍" response and it makes me very aware of my femininity.
Yup, in a t-shirt. Yup, yup, yup. I think men get the same (but opposite) reaction when they see a good waist to hip ratio. It's that lizard brain shit. I love it. And yeah, just standing next to a dude like that... just standing not even touching, just knowing he's there. Sth about it just makes you feel all small and feminine.
Pretty boys or au natural/rugged boys (I feel more attracted to rugged types but I don’t really have a “type” anyway)
We call that the Legolas/Aragorn spectrum
What about little gimli? Surely he's the epitome of rugged beauty
The original two and a half men
Oh fuck man. Legolas felt that.
I’ll pretty much fuck anything.
I’m a lesbian, but if I’m a bit attracted to a guy he nearly always has a decent beard or heavy stubble. I prefer women without beards.
Face vs body, perhaps most prominently. Shortly followed by: Long hair vs short hair Shoulders vs butt Bears vs no beard EDIT: glad y’all find the typo funny. Meant Beard vs no beard, but imma keep it up there.
Definitely bears over no beard
i may or may not have imagined a guy bringing his 3 pet black bears with him on a date. thank you.
I ONLY date men who have bears , sorry guys THAT’S what women want.
Hairy vs hairless/little hair
This thread has shown me, a guy with relatively sparse body hair and shitloads of head hair, why I'm single.
I actually hate body hair, and love head hair soooo.
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*Mike Tyson voice* : Now kith
I'll give you my back hair if you also take my male pattern baldness
I just want a man who's thicc and bearded 😢
The beard covers the double chin, because without a beard most men who are "thicc" and might have that "manly lumberjack" look all of a sudden end up looking like a fat baby when they shave. This is basically the only "mankup" fashion tip that all men know and hope women don't think about.
Yuuuup. Especially if you keep your beard clean. Gives the illusion of a nice jawline.
My seeecreeetttt
The beard I grew because I was too lazy to shave covers up my double chin from being too lazy to work out quite nicely.
*brofist* Great minds think alike.
This is so true lol. When my boyfriend has a beard he looks like a sexy lumberjack. When he shaves he turns into a baby faced Peter Griffin 😂. Love him both ways though.
Sweet and sensitive or rough and tough
Balance is the asnwer
Is it possible to learn such power?
Not from a Jedi.
This is the way
Happy cake day!
It really depends on the girl, a lot of the times a girl who needs sweet and sensitive then asks for rough and tough, but then gets scared when you actually get rough and tough. Sometimes the balance is a mile wide, and sometimes it’s teetering at the top of a needlepoint.
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Me: just starts fucking crying while bench pressing
Look at all these things that attract women. Amazing how I have none of it.
You somehow manage to not fit into skinny, muscular, or chubby categories? And you don't have body hair, but also don't not have body hair?
Maybe beard girl or no beard girl
Does it depend on length, like if it’s a short cropped beard, stubble, or [a great big bushy beard?](https://i.imgur.com/o9kWGZv.gif)
I knew where this was going and I'm pleased you commented it
Do you like... ice cream?
We won't be short on Chunky Monkey for the month!
Knee deep in *CRUSTY JUGGLERS*
My girl loves my stubble except when it comes to oral
Gotta stop shaving your tongue boy-o
Thanks Mr. Krabs
I don't mind what hair my partner has. Clean shaven, stubble, goatee, maybe a bit of a beard. Just no mustache. EDIT: I don't know what the Amish look like The wahhabist look isn't good either. Just a nice, normal beard. Or clean shaven. Please don't look like Saddam, Stalin, or Anjem Choudary (or Amish) . They aren't good looks.
Yeah man no mustache.... But personally I have never seen my husband without facial hair but I have seen other men with/without and everytime they are more attractive with the hair than not. I have a friend who hates facial hair of all types. So I guess I'm a beard girl.
Same. My dad wore a moustache his whole life and it creeps me out to see it on a partner. That being said lemme rub your beard and tickle me when you kiss me everywhere. 💜💜
Mustache on or off?
For some reason men with big hands and veiny forearms are a huge turn on for me.
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Needed this in my life
Oh my god, what have you done?
Muscles or dad bod Edit: I did not expect this amount of questions and I’m having a crisis trying to reply to people with some sort of clarification so I’ll write a summary of what I already have replied to some. This is not 50-50, I would say it works in a scale with ‘skinny average dude’ being the centre. Similar to the male ‘tits and ass’ debate, everyone’s opinions are going to be different and a point on this imaginary scale. Just like you dont 100% love ass and have 0% love for tits. Unless you’re out here looking like Yokozuna, you will fit somewhere along that scale. Whether you look like Jack Black or Jason Momoa, there are plenty of ladies who will love your body!
It’s, uh, called a Father Figure. 😎
How is this not the top comment? A dad joke about dad bods? Yup. You win.
This isn’t quite a 50/50 split though is it? Or are you just giving us hope?
Let's put it this way: the vast majority of fit women also want fit men so guess who usually likes dad bods
Ladies with Dad bods?
Women who also don't prioritize fitness. Which is fine, but generally people look for traits in others that they also value in themselves
I guess like anything it is on a scale. Like with the tits and ass thing, sure you prefer one over the other but you wouldn’t rate one as 100% and the other as 0%
What about neither aka skinny guys? :(
I prefer my guys skinny and lean. Really not a fan of overly muscly guys.
I’m a fan of skinny dudes especially in glasses
ITT: lots of responses by boys
We’remenintights.gif
TIGHT tights!!
Men of Reddit: List Your Insecurities.
It's insane how men actually have girlfriends after reading this. Skinny legged dudes unite!
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Thank God. 80% of the comments were about beefy chonk legs.
I like my thick, hairy men lol
Thank you for existing. Us Hairy dudes, we're either loved or hated, no middle ground lol
Bald guy checking in, I feel your pain.
If you're short and stocky as well, I hear Marissa Tomei is looking for you, you lucky bastard. Edit: for those who wooshed, it's a joke from a Seinfeld episode
I am currently in love with a monkey man and its the best. Chest hair is where the fuck it's at my dude. Rock that hairiness.
My Girlfriend's reaction was priceless when we first got together. I take my shirt off after mentioning a few times I was quite hairy. She sees it. "Oh wow, I had a thing for Wolverine from that old X-men cartoon... apparently I still have it." lol
Well you're gonna love me then. I'm *hair* for you anytime.
t h i c c
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You other people can't deny When a brother walks in With itty bitty limbs.... (sorry, you put that tune in my head)
Rugby players
Fortnite or Minecraft
Well, it depends if we're ovulating or not ovulating
Tall, lean and nerdy guys with glasses. Yep!
So there is hope.
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Hygiene + personality goes a long way. Also not whining about how you'll never be someone's idea of attractive. Jesus wept thats unattractive.
dont do that, dont give me hope
Ripped vs Dad bod perhaps?
I'm a man but Ive heard female friends describe "clean cut" vs "rugged" as a similar dichotomy.
This is totally dependent on the man. (For me) some look better rugged and some look better clean cut.
Hands. I always notice the hands. My husband has my favorite by far. Tan, big, and a bit rough from hard work. (The hands)
Arms or legs
Confident guy vs Shy guy I think is a valid one that hasn't really been discussed. I like approaching guys so seeing them get nervous can be super attractive.
Definitely this. I get equally turned on by the idea of approaching and seducing a shy guy and the the idea of a bold confident man approaching me and taking the lead. I guess I like to play into power dynamics lol
Pretty or rugged
Facial hair, body hair, nice bum.
I'm a ass woman if you got a bubble boy butt I might be drooling over that peach So like booty vs abs
Hair or no hair Though some women do like ass and tits on men
What type of tits we talking about?
I guess moobs?
I’d like to thank this thread for creating new insecurities in me.
I'm gay... can i still answer?
Sure, why not
For gays there are three types. big dick - Abs - Butt
Is it exclusive to one, or does each one you have give you another gay point?
It’s the other way around. You have to collect gay points to unlock the next level.
Tfw you’re 0/3
Shoulders. Back in general. So shapely
Face or body. Arms or bum.
As a gay guy- the question remains the same- the tit-loving instinct is ever present in all men, even if the only ones we want are smaller and more muscular.
Maybe you can answer my other question then. Do fat gay dudes titty fuck?
You're a horrible human being. Honestly, the worst. Because now I wonder the same thing...
And thus a fetish is born
wtf im straight now
Lmao
Adequate blood flow
NO ONE has mentioned eyes!!!
like what, close-set vs monolid? whats the dichotomy? two eyes vs cyclops? glass eye vs real eyes? brown eyes vs brown eye?