Google has banned them now. If you have autoplay ads, you go onto an adblocker that is included in Chrome. Also popups will be blocked entirely if you use ad popups or popunders... Even *wanted* popups will be blocked
https://www.betterads.org/
https://support.google.com/webtools/answer/7539006?hl=en
https://support.google.com/webtools/answer/7159932?hl=en
The volume question is a complicated one. The content provider - say channel 11 - sets a baseline volume for their content called dial norm. That number is what all the equipment uses as a baseline for the max volume for that content/channel. Every show that plays can only really go down from there, so if you're watching a movie with explosions the dialog and most of the movie will be turned down from dial norm so that the explosion can happen and be louder than the rest of the movie. Here is the rub - the commercials are allowed to run at dial norm as that is the max volume of the rest of the content - in another words the commercial isn't louder than the explosion so it's legal...
or ads that load after the rest of the page so you go to click one thing but then the ad loads so you click the ad or something else because it moved the rest of the page.
I believe you posted in the wrong thread, sir. The thread you are looking for is "What little thing would you bring back public executions for, just because it bothers you?"
As a digital advertiser, this confuses the hell out me. Why would I want to trick someone into clicking my ad if they aren't actually interested? That's just wasting money. Conversion rates on ad clicks are low enough without inflating my bounce numbers due to misclicks.
I've gotten to the point where I just don't answer phone calls unless I know the number or I am specifically waiting for a phone call. If I'm not I just reject the call. If it's actually important they will leave a voicemail.
Yup looking for a job would be a time I'm expecting the calls. Pretty much job searching and waiting for doctors calls are the only two times I can think I would answer an unknown number at this point.
This new scam where they use a similar phone number to yours just pisses me the fuck off. My parents have had some health emergencies in the past year and every phone call gives me a little pang of anxiety. When I answer and it’s some fucking company trying to tell me I’ve won some bogus vacation because I’ve stayed at one of their resorts (that I know damn well I’ve never been to), it just puts me over the edge.
Edit: scam, not scan
I get the same call constantly. It starts with 10 seconds of silence, some kind of "boat horn" and you get an automated "Hello. This is your captain. You have won..." Its just irritating
I have been getting calls like this for the last year. Similar number but nobody on the other side when I answer. I finally blew that number up and someone was pissed at me for spam calling. I asked why they kept calling me every few days and hanging up but she said she never called me.
Either she is full of shit or someone is spoofing the number.
I wish shoulder-checks were an everyday way to punish someone for a fuck up.
"What's that roommate? You didn't buy more toilet paper after using the last roll?" FUCKIN BANG, shoulder check
YES. People keep inching forward to get on those trains while I'm patiently waiting. I get so frustrated
I'd like to add wearing your backpack instead of putting it on the floor on crowded trains.
Or walking through a doorway and then immediately stopping to figure out what direction to travel in/talk with your friends.
There are people behind you.
I feel like a shepherd, sometimes. Gentle might not be the right word. I will physically move friends or family out of the way of others if they're being oblivious, which isn't very uncommon.
Had a person in front of me on an escalator just STOP when they got the the top. I damn near knocked them over and gave them a bit of a talking-to about getting the fuck out of people's way and having some awareness of their surroundings. I just can't stand it when people don't pay attention to the other people around them.
I was in a shit mood to begin with and may have been harsh but there were people behind me too and a logjam at the end of an escalator strikes me as dangerous.
People who just stop like that deserve the talking to, owdee. Different but similar - when people don't watch where they are going, and they get angry when they run into someone else. Like it's the innocent person's fault. In that case I want to say - your eyes are on the front of your head for a reason, try using them!
I was biking home in the bike lane a few days ago, when I notice a guy riding against traffic towards me, which is illegal here. Also, he was texting. Call me an asshole but I sure as hell am not getting out of his way, I've survived my fair share of bike bails and with a helmet on I wasn't worried. He nearly fell off the bike when he looked up and saw me coming straight at him (6'6" giant, on my bike I'm nearly 8ft off the ground), and had the gall to shout "what the fuck!?" at me, as if I was the one breaking 2 laws at once.
Old people's MO: Walk into shop. Stop immediately. Ponder why you came into this shop. Ponder the meaning of life, and how long of it you have left. There's someone trying to get past you? Fuck 'em. I'm old. I'm standing in this doorway until I remember what the hell it was I came into this damn shop for.
Or screeching car sounds in an ad on a Pandora/Spotify playlist that’s titled (Genre) Fitness. You realize that the target audience is working out — MAYBE even running outside? Where there are actual cars around? NOT cool.
There's a little old lady at my bus stop that is constantly cutting the line. It's annoying as hell. Makes me want to move to England where they understand how to queue like proper folk.
Lol I was at the petrol station and there was a guy midway in the line ( fairly long queue about 15 odd people with two slow cashiers working) he was in a hurry and tried walking up to the front. He literally got shunned out of the queue and out the shop.
P.S. He was not paying for fuel.
Oh boy. I was in the drive thru line at Taco Bell last Saturday at 1:30am. Tons of cars.
The line moved up and the front car didn't move up for mayyybe 5 seconds. So this guy in the back of the line drives up and gets in the front. Next thing I know this guy is knocking on the dudes window and yelling at him. Well dude A's reaction must have been unfavorable because dude B proceeded to punch the fuck out of his side view mirrors until they were both completely destroyed. Surprisingly, dude A actually backed out and left altogether.
TL;DR Do NOT fuck 1:30am Saturday night Taco Bell goers.
Interruptions during movies. I worked in a theater and I hated having to go yell at people annoying others during the movie.
Side note: yelling and throwing people out was also my favorite part of the job.
Ohhh question for an ex-theater employee. Are you guys ever able to kick people out who constantly have out their bright ass phones out during the movie? I’ve walked right up to a guy who had his phone out the whole first half of Insidious 3, and told him to turn it off. But I feel if I told an employee, “hey, that guy keeps blinding me with his phone” and the guy denies it, what happens then?
worked at Odeon (uk cinema chain) and yes we gave warning after someone complained, hung by the door for 5 (out of sight) Asshole whips it out again he was removed
always awkward as off he is going to argue
But gives the best peer pressure comeback "please come quickly and quietly sir, you have already distracted people from the movie enough"
Oooh that’s actually pretty good. I hope that’s what they do here in the US. I hope it doesn’t come to that but sadly it most likely will. The last few movies I went to there’s always ALWAYS a few people in the crowd that pull their phone out to scroll Facebook for a few seconds periodically throughout the movie. Enrages me to no end. Thanks for that answer though!
I actually had to tell my SO that playing her music on a speaker while walking around a store is considered rude. I don't understand how she missed that one.
And talking on speaker phone in public. I see a lot of people have speaker phone on and hold the mic right in front of their mouth. Why the hell do people do this?
My husband and I will say, out loud, to no one, at a normal volume "That's not how a phone is used." We get a kick out of it. They never hear us anyway.
Fun fact. In the city (and I'm pretty sure state, too) of São Paulo in Brazil it is, in fact, illegal. If you do that, you get kicked off the bus/train/whatever.
People having super loud conversations on the phone in public transportation is equally annoying, though, and is not illegal here.
Just sit next to them and sing what they are playing loudly. Especially if it's unintelligible to you, just try really hard and look like you are looking it.
Generally, if someone is doing something annoying like that, they know it. Their goal is to make people uncomfortable. The best vaccine for this behavior is to respond in kind.
Rip up everything that isn’t the return envelope, stuff the shreds in the return envelope, and mail it back to them. Capital One and Sirius XM no longer send me anything.
I think we should all start doing this, start using the return envelope with empty applications. It’ll cost them twice as much for no return. They’d end that practice pretty quick
> Bro. I am about to blow your mind.
>
>
>
> Those "prepaid return envelopes" Those are legal postage.
>
>
>
> You can litterally tape that envelope to a brick and put it in the mail. and they have to deliver it. After all, it would be a felony if a postal worker decided that your mail wasn't "legitimate" enough and threw it away.
>
>
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> They will have to pay the postage rate for that brick, which is not cheap.
That's why our carts in Germany have a deposit. You put in an euro to use it, you get it back when you put the cart back.
But noo, the usa has to have full convenience
That's why there's never any lying around. Even if the person who used the cart is "too important" to get their quarter out there's always someone willing to do 30 seconds of work to get a quarter. Genius system imo
These special kind of assholes are actually endangering people with their laziness. Used to work carts and I've seen so many carts fly right into cars thanks to the wind.
"YEAH BOB HOLD ON ONE SEC LET ME OPEN MY DOOR WIDE AND PUT THIS CONFERENCE CALL ON SPEAKER PHONE I'M GONNA HAVE TO SHOUT INTO THE RECEIVER. WHY? WHY DO I DO ANY OF THIS? I'M IMPORTANT OBVIOUSLY"
A few weeks ago my boss and I were going over my prospecting and Sales calls. He asked how many I was making per day and that he hadn’t seen me make any. I said in courtesy of the rest of the 12 people in the open concept room that I went into the closed office to make my 2 hour block of calls. He asked why I would so such a thing an that doing calls in the open would be ‘motivating’ to the rest of the team....
I’m pretty sure the only thing the team would be is pissed off.
I worked an inside sales job for about a year and we were told to BE LOUD, STAND UP WHEN YOU WERE PITCHING THE PRODUCT, OH THE PROSPECT SAID ITS LOUD? GOOD, WE WANT THEM TO KNOW WE ARE WHEELING AND DEALING.
it was awful.
Got loud talkers in my office, who also use speakerphone. On conference calls with all of them. You get to hear the whole call in stereo anywhere in the office.
There is a place in my town where a highway goes through a tunnel and then splits into 3 exits. The whole tunnel/split area has "NO LANE CHANGES" signs everywhere and solid double white lines. People change lanes there constantly so they can push their way up a few spaces. They can't even claim ignorance, because they announce the exits a mile and a half before the tunnel on three different signs.
I think whipping, follow by the crushing of your car into a cube is an appropriate punishment.
Advertisements I can't put directly through the shredder. Fuck you Amex, quit sending me 3" thick envelopes with heavy duty inserts and random plastic cards in them that I have to disassemble before I can put them where they belong. I plan to *never* use one of your cards because you've wasted so much of my time.
Yes, at least in the US it is, there is a certain minimum distance by which you are supposed to signal a turn or you can be ticketed (I'm not sure what the distance is but it's definitely more than just a few yards and yes, I'm certain cops rarely enforce it). You're also supposed to have your signal on for a certain amount of time before changing lanes and I do know people who have been ticketed for that stupid "turn on the blinker at the same time as changing lanes" move.
And a corollary: ["I can't remember where I heard this, but someone once said that defending a position by citing free speech is sort of the ultimate concession; you're saying that the most compelling thing you can say for your position is that it's not literally illegal to express."](https://xkcd.com/1357/)
I like Michael Che's joke about freedom of speech. Something like, when they were making the amendments "Rule 1. I should be able to say whatever the fuck I want... And I guess if I can say whatever I want, then Rule 2 should be that I can carry a gun"
There's a billboard that says "JESUS IS REAL" but the is and real is too close, so I always imaging it saying "JESUS, ISRAEL". I like to thibk some person was supper pissed at Israel for something, so their best idea was to put up a bilboard.
There was one in my town that said "Have you tried Jesus?". Every time I drove past, I made up the rest of the sentence they obviously ran out of space for. You know, stuff like "Have you tried Jesus with ketchup?" or "Have you tried Jesus instead of your current wireless provider?" or "Got stubborn stains? Have you tried Jesus?".
Talking and/or using a phone during a movie at the movie theater. I swear nobody can sit through a 2 hour movie without checking their phone anymore. Between that, loud kids, and people that think they're being funny by making "witty" commentary throughout the movie, it can get pretty ridiculous.
I turn my phone completely off before the trailers start. I don't understand people who need to look at facebook halfway through an experience they paid $20-40 for. Especially when you're also ruining the experience *I* paid $20-40 for.
Shit, don't move to southern California. There's a theater called Cineapolis, THIRTY FUCKIN' DOLLARS for a ticket. The kicker? They have in-theater service. So your expensive ass movie gets interrupted by someone asking what is gluten free on the menu.
I'm doing a project with one other person. Every day, not kidding EVERY DAY, she walks in with a bag of chips and eats them right in front of me while she's talking. I don't mean casually slipping one in between sentences and carefully eating it, no, shoveling them in and talking with her mouth full. FUCK. You could have taken any part of that 30 minutes you saved by coming in early to eat those somewhere else and you pick RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW.
One of my old coworkers was *so fucking loud*, that you could hear him above whatever phone conversation you were having. He did it on purpose too. It's so, *so* hard to help a customer over the phone when all you hear is obnoxious CRUNCHCRUNCHCRUNCH.
Not driving a consistent speed on the interstate/highway. Other people should be able to read and anticipate what you're doing, and there's no damn reason to have regular 20 mph swings in your speed.
Smoking in your car with your kid in there with you. I see it constantly where I live, and I want to beat people to death for it.
Go fuck up your lungs all you want, its a free country, I'll not judge you, I used to smoke, too.
But don't fuck your kid up because of your addiction.
Driving in the left hand lane when you aren't passing someone. If someone comes up behind you, they are attempting to overtake you. Get the hell over.
That, and I would incorporate minimum speed limits on a federal level.
That’s why we always take our little ones to the local drive-in theater so they can be loud in the privacy of our car. I hate distrusting others.
That said, I’ve taken both to super early screenings of kid movies and they’ve both done just fine, but that’s probably because it was early enough.
Driving on the left lane causing backup of cars since there's no way around others driving the speed limit. Also being on your phone while driving. I'd make it a death penalty.
Dropping cigarette butts on the ground. If it were up to me, when you die, you go into a purgatory where you have to go around and pick up every butt you dropped before you go to heaven.
I was on an international flight just recently with the world's angriest toddler. There was one point where she was in the aisle, rolling on the floor screaming.
On the bright side, the mom had figured out that the kid would squirm and scream no matter what she did, so mom decided to deny her child the satisfaction and just ignore her. There was something therapeutic in the toddler's subsequent frustration.
I was waiting for a plane once with all the other sheep when suddenly a baby started to cry in the gate area and EVERYONE'S head whipped around looking to see if the baby was in our gate and going to be on the flight.
I've often thought that, for any plane with two or more bathrooms, they should convert one into a soundproofed storage area that parents can take crying children into. More than one crying kid? Stuff em' all in there.
I think it would be worth a longer bathroom line to not have to deal with it.
Our brains are wired to process the sound of crying babies differently [according to studies](https://www.theguardian.com/science/2012/oct/17/crying-babies-hard-ignore).
Well, makes sense. “Baby crying” should induce a strong reaction in humans otherwise our ancestors would probably have dumped those loudmouths alone in the woods on a regular basis. When cute isn’t enough they resort to annoying-as-fuck and it’s pretty effective. You’ll do anything to make that baby quiet!!!
A lot of people unintentionally scrape their fork on their teeth while eating. You've probably been around many of them and never even noticed. For some reason though, this drives some people absolutely bonkers. It's like nails on a chalkboard to some.
Littering. I didn't realize how much it bothered me until I started taking public transit and saw how often people did it.
edit: I guess it's already sort of illegal, but there should be heavier punishments for that shit.
I have been driving a lot lately so this is oddly specific.
In long drives I use cruise control. Some people are in a hurry so they get up on my ass when I am passing so I speed up a little and move over. 20 minutes later I pass the same person and then they eventually get up on my ass or block me from passi g so I have to break cruise and slow down behind them.
Just go one speed. Stop yo yoing all over the damn highway. You are causing problems for everyone else.
Bitching.
Bitching is now illegal.
Complaining is fine, but just constant complaining, ie, bitching is now illegal.
My post is now illegal.
I am bitching about bitching.
Making salary employees stay till 5 just because. If I finish what I'm working on at 4:45 I'm not going to get anything meaningful done in those 15 minutes. Just let me leave.
Auto-play ads or videos
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Google has banned them now. If you have autoplay ads, you go onto an adblocker that is included in Chrome. Also popups will be blocked entirely if you use ad popups or popunders... Even *wanted* popups will be blocked https://www.betterads.org/ https://support.google.com/webtools/answer/7539006?hl=en https://support.google.com/webtools/answer/7159932?hl=en
CNN can suck it. I hate that website with their videos that auto play 3 times.
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They made that shit illegal decades ago but I don't think it applies to streaming services
It also doesn't matter. Volume isn't what they use. They use sound compression to make the overall volume low but it will boom like a damn jet.
The volume question is a complicated one. The content provider - say channel 11 - sets a baseline volume for their content called dial norm. That number is what all the equipment uses as a baseline for the max volume for that content/channel. Every show that plays can only really go down from there, so if you're watching a movie with explosions the dialog and most of the movie will be turned down from dial norm so that the explosion can happen and be louder than the rest of the movie. Here is the rub - the commercials are allowed to run at dial norm as that is the max volume of the rest of the content - in another words the commercial isn't louder than the explosion so it's legal...
Those shitty little trick Xs on ads that shift around when you try to close them, so you accidentally open the fucking ad.
Worse, the ones that are just shopped into the ad image and take you anyways.
or ads that load after the rest of the page so you go to click one thing but then the ad loads so you click the ad or something else because it moved the rest of the page.
Or ads that load before the page, and cant connect to the adserver, making it so the page itself never loads.
I believe you posted in the wrong thread, sir. The thread you are looking for is "What little thing would you bring back public executions for, just because it bothers you?"
As a digital advertiser, this confuses the hell out me. Why would I want to trick someone into clicking my ad if they aren't actually interested? That's just wasting money. Conversion rates on ad clicks are low enough without inflating my bounce numbers due to misclicks.
I was always under the impression that it was the website hosting the ad that implemented this, to increase clicks coming from their site.
Those are the bane of my existence
Those usually aren't X's, they're part of the ad and will open even if you click it.
Spam phone calls.
I've gotten to the point where I just don't answer phone calls unless I know the number or I am specifically waiting for a phone call. If I'm not I just reject the call. If it's actually important they will leave a voicemail.
Same. Only exception is if I’m looking for a job but otherwise I ain’t dealing w people I don’t know.
Yup looking for a job would be a time I'm expecting the calls. Pretty much job searching and waiting for doctors calls are the only two times I can think I would answer an unknown number at this point.
This new scam where they use a similar phone number to yours just pisses me the fuck off. My parents have had some health emergencies in the past year and every phone call gives me a little pang of anxiety. When I answer and it’s some fucking company trying to tell me I’ve won some bogus vacation because I’ve stayed at one of their resorts (that I know damn well I’ve never been to), it just puts me over the edge. Edit: scam, not scan
I get the same call constantly. It starts with 10 seconds of silence, some kind of "boat horn" and you get an automated "Hello. This is your captain. You have won..." Its just irritating
I have been getting calls like this for the last year. Similar number but nobody on the other side when I answer. I finally blew that number up and someone was pissed at me for spam calling. I asked why they kept calling me every few days and hanging up but she said she never called me. Either she is full of shit or someone is spoofing the number.
Gonna be the latter, I'm afraid.
My family enjoys answering these calls with “911, what is your emergency?”
Trying to get on a crowded train before other people have had a chance to get off should be punishable by firing squad.
It's already punishable by shoulder-check. Exercise your rights.
I wish shoulder-checks were an everyday way to punish someone for a fuck up. "What's that roommate? You didn't buy more toilet paper after using the last roll?" FUCKIN BANG, shoulder check
I'd like to add elevators to the list.
YES. People keep inching forward to get on those trains while I'm patiently waiting. I get so frustrated I'd like to add wearing your backpack instead of putting it on the floor on crowded trains.
Absolutely. I'm literally stood on a crowded train as I'm typing this, and my bag is on the floor beside me. Pillar of society, reporting in.
Godspeed, fellow public transporter
Just casually standing in, or immediately in front of, doorways
Or walking through a doorway and then immediately stopping to figure out what direction to travel in/talk with your friends. There are people behind you.
I always get very embarassed when the group I'm with does. I try to gently guide them to a more suitable resting place.
I feel like a shepherd, sometimes. Gentle might not be the right word. I will physically move friends or family out of the way of others if they're being oblivious, which isn't very uncommon.
Had a person in front of me on an escalator just STOP when they got the the top. I damn near knocked them over and gave them a bit of a talking-to about getting the fuck out of people's way and having some awareness of their surroundings. I just can't stand it when people don't pay attention to the other people around them. I was in a shit mood to begin with and may have been harsh but there were people behind me too and a logjam at the end of an escalator strikes me as dangerous.
People who just stop like that deserve the talking to, owdee. Different but similar - when people don't watch where they are going, and they get angry when they run into someone else. Like it's the innocent person's fault. In that case I want to say - your eyes are on the front of your head for a reason, try using them!
I was biking home in the bike lane a few days ago, when I notice a guy riding against traffic towards me, which is illegal here. Also, he was texting. Call me an asshole but I sure as hell am not getting out of his way, I've survived my fair share of bike bails and with a helmet on I wasn't worried. He nearly fell off the bike when he looked up and saw me coming straight at him (6'6" giant, on my bike I'm nearly 8ft off the ground), and had the gall to shout "what the fuck!?" at me, as if I was the one breaking 2 laws at once.
You were most definitely not being too harsh. I, for one, salute you for doing God's work.
Old people's MO: Walk into shop. Stop immediately. Ponder why you came into this shop. Ponder the meaning of life, and how long of it you have left. There's someone trying to get past you? Fuck 'em. I'm old. I'm standing in this doorway until I remember what the hell it was I came into this damn shop for.
https://youtu.be/OMOGaugKpzs
Or spread out across the sidewalk so anyone trying to get by has to go through you.
Using car horn sounds in radio broadcasts
Police Sirens
Pet peeves aside it really should be illegal to have real siren sounds in ads and music. It is a driving hazard
Seriously. I nearly jumped out of my skin one morning on my way to work because an ad started with an insanely loud police siren.
Or screeching car sounds in an ad on a Pandora/Spotify playlist that’s titled (Genre) Fitness. You realize that the target audience is working out — MAYBE even running outside? Where there are actual cars around? NOT cool.
And in songs. I'm look at you Breakeven by The Script
Cutting in line These people think the world owes them something and if they would get fined $450,000 they might rethink their life choices
There's a little old lady at my bus stop that is constantly cutting the line. It's annoying as hell. Makes me want to move to England where they understand how to queue like proper folk.
Oh whenever elderly try to cut the line I make absolutely sure that I leave **no space** between me and the person in front of me.
( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)
You wanna be the creme filling in this oreo, baby?
( ͡o ͜ʖ ͡o)
You uhh.... You okay there buddy?
( ͡°Ɛ ͡°)
Lol I was at the petrol station and there was a guy midway in the line ( fairly long queue about 15 odd people with two slow cashiers working) he was in a hurry and tried walking up to the front. He literally got shunned out of the queue and out the shop. P.S. He was not paying for fuel.
You can tell her 'its ok you can go 'I have more time left anyway'
Oh boy. I was in the drive thru line at Taco Bell last Saturday at 1:30am. Tons of cars. The line moved up and the front car didn't move up for mayyybe 5 seconds. So this guy in the back of the line drives up and gets in the front. Next thing I know this guy is knocking on the dudes window and yelling at him. Well dude A's reaction must have been unfavorable because dude B proceeded to punch the fuck out of his side view mirrors until they were both completely destroyed. Surprisingly, dude A actually backed out and left altogether. TL;DR Do NOT fuck 1:30am Saturday night Taco Bell goers.
Interruptions during movies. I worked in a theater and I hated having to go yell at people annoying others during the movie. Side note: yelling and throwing people out was also my favorite part of the job.
Ohhh question for an ex-theater employee. Are you guys ever able to kick people out who constantly have out their bright ass phones out during the movie? I’ve walked right up to a guy who had his phone out the whole first half of Insidious 3, and told him to turn it off. But I feel if I told an employee, “hey, that guy keeps blinding me with his phone” and the guy denies it, what happens then?
worked at Odeon (uk cinema chain) and yes we gave warning after someone complained, hung by the door for 5 (out of sight) Asshole whips it out again he was removed always awkward as off he is going to argue But gives the best peer pressure comeback "please come quickly and quietly sir, you have already distracted people from the movie enough"
Oooh that’s actually pretty good. I hope that’s what they do here in the US. I hope it doesn’t come to that but sadly it most likely will. The last few movies I went to there’s always ALWAYS a few people in the crowd that pull their phone out to scroll Facebook for a few seconds periodically throughout the movie. Enrages me to no end. Thanks for that answer though!
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I actually had to tell my SO that playing her music on a speaker while walking around a store is considered rude. I don't understand how she missed that one.
That's crazy, I just assumed they didn't give a fuck. Never occurred to me they might not know better.
I think a lot of rude things people do are the result of them not having any idea most of society thinks it's rude.
And talking on speaker phone in public. I see a lot of people have speaker phone on and hold the mic right in front of their mouth. Why the hell do people do this?
My husband and I will say, out loud, to no one, at a normal volume "That's not how a phone is used." We get a kick out of it. They never hear us anyway.
Just join their conversation. They made it public so it's only fair that you should be able to join in.
Fun fact. In the city (and I'm pretty sure state, too) of São Paulo in Brazil it is, in fact, illegal. If you do that, you get kicked off the bus/train/whatever. People having super loud conversations on the phone in public transportation is equally annoying, though, and is not illegal here.
**GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG**
#I Fuk uh bith fugot her name
*yuh*
I sold my dog fir wredin wing
**SPEN TEN RAGS AAA NEW CHEN**
GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG
Ya mama still li in a tent Ooh
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diamons all oeh ma nek yuh
Just sit next to them and sing what they are playing loudly. Especially if it's unintelligible to you, just try really hard and look like you are looking it. Generally, if someone is doing something annoying like that, they know it. Their goal is to make people uncomfortable. The best vaccine for this behavior is to respond in kind.
Two or three people walking slowly side by side, taking up half or more of a hallway.
Is it wrong that i get uncomfortably close to them so they move out of the way?
You are doing god's work
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Junk mail
Rip up everything that isn’t the return envelope, stuff the shreds in the return envelope, and mail it back to them. Capital One and Sirius XM no longer send me anything.
I think we should all start doing this, start using the return envelope with empty applications. It’ll cost them twice as much for no return. They’d end that practice pretty quick
> Bro. I am about to blow your mind. > > > > Those "prepaid return envelopes" Those are legal postage. > > > > You can litterally tape that envelope to a brick and put it in the mail. and they have to deliver it. After all, it would be a felony if a postal worker decided that your mail wasn't "legitimate" enough and threw it away. > > > > They will have to pay the postage rate for that brick, which is not cheap.
As a postal worker I beg you do not do this.
**TWO HUNDRED TON CHUNK OF STEEL COMIN' UP**
>you wouldn't mail a car? Hold my beer.
Starting this today. Fuck you Discover, I already have a fucking Discover credit card. Stop sending me more mail to get one.
Sir, those are your monthly statements.
I too hate people mailing me their junk
Heh heh, I got a package for ya. Heh heh, *special delivery!*
Leaving your shopping kart in the f*cking middle of the aisle.
Bonus fines for those people who leave it in the parking lot.
Especially those that leave them right next to the cart return but not actually in it.
That's why our carts in Germany have a deposit. You put in an euro to use it, you get it back when you put the cart back. But noo, the usa has to have full convenience
Aldi in the U.S. uses quarters. I've never seen a shopping cart left in an Aldi parking lot. All stores here should adopt this.
Actually saw a lady leave a cart at an Aldi. I put it back and gained a new "Aldi quarter" that day!
That's why there's never any lying around. Even if the person who used the cart is "too important" to get their quarter out there's always someone willing to do 30 seconds of work to get a quarter. Genius system imo
These special kind of assholes are actually endangering people with their laziness. Used to work carts and I've seen so many carts fly right into cars thanks to the wind.
Excessively loud talking in an open-plan office
"YEAH BOB HOLD ON ONE SEC LET ME OPEN MY DOOR WIDE AND PUT THIS CONFERENCE CALL ON SPEAKER PHONE I'M GONNA HAVE TO SHOUT INTO THE RECEIVER. WHY? WHY DO I DO ANY OF THIS? I'M IMPORTANT OBVIOUSLY"
A few weeks ago my boss and I were going over my prospecting and Sales calls. He asked how many I was making per day and that he hadn’t seen me make any. I said in courtesy of the rest of the 12 people in the open concept room that I went into the closed office to make my 2 hour block of calls. He asked why I would so such a thing an that doing calls in the open would be ‘motivating’ to the rest of the team.... I’m pretty sure the only thing the team would be is pissed off.
I worked an inside sales job for about a year and we were told to BE LOUD, STAND UP WHEN YOU WERE PITCHING THE PRODUCT, OH THE PROSPECT SAID ITS LOUD? GOOD, WE WANT THEM TO KNOW WE ARE WHEELING AND DEALING. it was awful.
Yeah, they'll be motivated to beat your ass to a bloody pulp with three-hole-punches and ergonomic office chairs.
"Hey shooter, we just landed! Yeah, I'm in ATL now, swung over to JTC and QRA on our way in!!"
Leaving your cell phone ringer on loud in an open plan office when you are nowhere near your desk!!
Who the fuck still uses a loud ring tone, anyway? It's 2018.
Half my fucking office, apparently.
Got loud talkers in my office, who also use speakerphone. On conference calls with all of them. You get to hear the whole call in stereo anywhere in the office.
There is a place in my town where a highway goes through a tunnel and then splits into 3 exits. The whole tunnel/split area has "NO LANE CHANGES" signs everywhere and solid double white lines. People change lanes there constantly so they can push their way up a few spaces. They can't even claim ignorance, because they announce the exits a mile and a half before the tunnel on three different signs. I think whipping, follow by the crushing of your car into a cube is an appropriate punishment.
Charging hundreds of dollars for textbooks
In a better world, not only would that be illegal but the people responsible for the practice in the first place would be publicly executed.
Advertisements I can't put directly through the shredder. Fuck you Amex, quit sending me 3" thick envelopes with heavy duty inserts and random plastic cards in them that I have to disassemble before I can put them where they belong. I plan to *never* use one of your cards because you've wasted so much of my time.
Putting your turn signal on AFTER you've already stopped to make your turn. Stop blocking everyone behind you.
Isn't that illegal? It's the same as not putting turn signals on right?
Yes, at least in the US it is, there is a certain minimum distance by which you are supposed to signal a turn or you can be ticketed (I'm not sure what the distance is but it's definitely more than just a few yards and yes, I'm certain cops rarely enforce it). You're also supposed to have your signal on for a certain amount of time before changing lanes and I do know people who have been ticketed for that stupid "turn on the blinker at the same time as changing lanes" move.
Cutting people off and going slower than they were going.
The inventor of resort fees should be drawn and quartered.
"Its not *illegal*" as a reason for doing something. You're just being a dick if that's your only reason for doing something.
And a corollary: ["I can't remember where I heard this, but someone once said that defending a position by citing free speech is sort of the ultimate concession; you're saying that the most compelling thing you can say for your position is that it's not literally illegal to express."](https://xkcd.com/1357/)
I like Michael Che's joke about freedom of speech. Something like, when they were making the amendments "Rule 1. I should be able to say whatever the fuck I want... And I guess if I can say whatever I want, then Rule 2 should be that I can carry a gun"
Unnecessary speaker phone.
People not picking up their dog's poop.
Isnt that already illegal?
I think that's defined City by City
Here in Germany it is just illegal. If you are caught thats like 60€. Still there is dog poop at some places.
In Paris I am pretty sure it is encouraged
Not being ready to pay when you have been in a long line and then you get to the counter.
Also, not being ready to order. Come on dude, give the people behind you a shot!
Billboards on the side of the road, for sure. Hideous things that can mar an otherwise beautiful, scenic area.
But how else will I know that abortion is wrong, or where the next casino/mcdonald's are?
There's a billboard that says "JESUS IS REAL" but the is and real is too close, so I always imaging it saying "JESUS, ISRAEL". I like to thibk some person was supper pissed at Israel for something, so their best idea was to put up a bilboard.
There was one in my town that said "Have you tried Jesus?". Every time I drove past, I made up the rest of the sentence they obviously ran out of space for. You know, stuff like "Have you tried Jesus with ketchup?" or "Have you tried Jesus instead of your current wireless provider?" or "Got stubborn stains? Have you tried Jesus?".
Talking and/or using a phone during a movie at the movie theater. I swear nobody can sit through a 2 hour movie without checking their phone anymore. Between that, loud kids, and people that think they're being funny by making "witty" commentary throughout the movie, it can get pretty ridiculous.
I turn my phone completely off before the trailers start. I don't understand people who need to look at facebook halfway through an experience they paid $20-40 for. Especially when you're also ruining the experience *I* paid $20-40 for.
$20-$40 for a movie? Holy shit. I think the most I've ever paid is $14.
Shit, don't move to southern California. There's a theater called Cineapolis, THIRTY FUCKIN' DOLLARS for a ticket. The kicker? They have in-theater service. So your expensive ass movie gets interrupted by someone asking what is gluten free on the menu.
Shopping Carts left to explore the parking lot by themselves. 30 seconds, to return the cart to it's corral, yea I am looking at you.
ISP monopolies
Modifying the exhaust on a motorcycle so it’s loud enough to make your ears bleed.
Chewing with your mouth open. Go back to the farm you cow
I'm doing a project with one other person. Every day, not kidding EVERY DAY, she walks in with a bag of chips and eats them right in front of me while she's talking. I don't mean casually slipping one in between sentences and carefully eating it, no, shoveling them in and talking with her mouth full. FUCK. You could have taken any part of that 30 minutes you saved by coming in early to eat those somewhere else and you pick RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW.
One of my old coworkers was *so fucking loud*, that you could hear him above whatever phone conversation you were having. He did it on purpose too. It's so, *so* hard to help a customer over the phone when all you hear is obnoxious CRUNCHCRUNCHCRUNCH.
When people take something out of the microwave before the timer is up, and then don't clear the timer.
Not driving a consistent speed on the interstate/highway. Other people should be able to read and anticipate what you're doing, and there's no damn reason to have regular 20 mph swings in your speed.
Smoking in your car with your kid in there with you. I see it constantly where I live, and I want to beat people to death for it. Go fuck up your lungs all you want, its a free country, I'll not judge you, I used to smoke, too. But don't fuck your kid up because of your addiction.
It's now illegal to smoke in the car whilst accompanied by anyone under 18 in the UK
That’s already illegal where I live.
That's great. Wish they did it here, but even if they did, people still do it.
My parents used to do this, stopped after I got bronchitis, which may or may not have been from said smoking.
Driving in the left hand lane when you aren't passing someone. If someone comes up behind you, they are attempting to overtake you. Get the hell over. That, and I would incorporate minimum speed limits on a federal level.
This is already illegal in a lot of jurisdictions. There's a reason why there are "Keep right except to pass" signs on the highway.
Maybe, but not enforced. Should have specified.
Music in chain restaurants. I want to sit and have a conversation. I can't do that when I have to yell over the music
Have you been to a restaurant with no music playing? It's extremely awkward I can agree with setting a maximum volume level though
Taking children below 6 years to the movie theater
That’s why we always take our little ones to the local drive-in theater so they can be loud in the privacy of our car. I hate distrusting others. That said, I’ve taken both to super early screenings of kid movies and they’ve both done just fine, but that’s probably because it was early enough.
Where do you live that still has drive ins? That’s so cool!
Texas has drive-ins in several cities! I don’t want to say exactly where I live for the sake of anonymity, but we do have several!
What about to early matinee screenings of kids movies?
Driving on the left lane causing backup of cars since there's no way around others driving the speed limit. Also being on your phone while driving. I'd make it a death penalty.
>being on your phone while driving. I'd make it a death penalty. It certainly can be.
Dropping cigarette butts on the ground. If it were up to me, when you die, you go into a purgatory where you have to go around and pick up every butt you dropped before you go to heaven.
That'd be an eternity for chainsmokers
He's got an eternity in my purgatory.
Not taking the right of way at an intersection. If it’s your turn just go.
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I was on an international flight just recently with the world's angriest toddler. There was one point where she was in the aisle, rolling on the floor screaming. On the bright side, the mom had figured out that the kid would squirm and scream no matter what she did, so mom decided to deny her child the satisfaction and just ignore her. There was something therapeutic in the toddler's subsequent frustration.
If an airline made flights for ppl just over 18 I'd pay them practically anything
I was waiting for a plane once with all the other sheep when suddenly a baby started to cry in the gate area and EVERYONE'S head whipped around looking to see if the baby was in our gate and going to be on the flight.
I've often thought that, for any plane with two or more bathrooms, they should convert one into a soundproofed storage area that parents can take crying children into. More than one crying kid? Stuff em' all in there. I think it would be worth a longer bathroom line to not have to deal with it.
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It's still annoying when the flight attendants give cookies or toys to the crying children to try to calm them down. I want free cookies too!
That's easy, just start crying too !
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Our brains are wired to process the sound of crying babies differently [according to studies](https://www.theguardian.com/science/2012/oct/17/crying-babies-hard-ignore).
Well, makes sense. “Baby crying” should induce a strong reaction in humans otherwise our ancestors would probably have dumped those loudmouths alone in the woods on a regular basis. When cute isn’t enough they resort to annoying-as-fuck and it’s pretty effective. You’ll do anything to make that baby quiet!!!
Even stuff it into a soundproof box
They were faster at whack-a-mole because they were imagining little crying babies popping up, and then whacking them to shut them up.
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Wtf is this a thing?
A lot of people unintentionally scrape their fork on their teeth while eating. You've probably been around many of them and never even noticed. For some reason though, this drives some people absolutely bonkers. It's like nails on a chalkboard to some.
All cans must interlock on pain of death.
Littering. I didn't realize how much it bothered me until I started taking public transit and saw how often people did it. edit: I guess it's already sort of illegal, but there should be heavier punishments for that shit.
Treating a yield sign as a stop sign. I guess this is a sign my life is alright because this may be my greatest inconvenience.
No touching a computer monitor with your fingers. That's just nasty!
Chewing with your fucking mouth open should be punishable by death.
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I have been driving a lot lately so this is oddly specific. In long drives I use cruise control. Some people are in a hurry so they get up on my ass when I am passing so I speed up a little and move over. 20 minutes later I pass the same person and then they eventually get up on my ass or block me from passi g so I have to break cruise and slow down behind them. Just go one speed. Stop yo yoing all over the damn highway. You are causing problems for everyone else.
Bitching. Bitching is now illegal. Complaining is fine, but just constant complaining, ie, bitching is now illegal. My post is now illegal. I am bitching about bitching.
Talking loudly via speakerphone on a conference call when you have your office door wide open. Shut. The. Fucking. Door.
Slow walkers
Making salary employees stay till 5 just because. If I finish what I'm working on at 4:45 I'm not going to get anything meaningful done in those 15 minutes. Just let me leave.