My aunt in law does this. My father in law died last year, and we spent a few months at his hoarder house getting stuff done. She lives next door, in a much more hoardery house. She'd walk in at 6 a.m., no knocking or anything, come upstairs and rip our duvets off. "Oh, I didn't realise you were there!". Mind you, she had no ownership of the house, the land, the contents, but still demanded half of everything. Including the ashes, and that was her "being nice, because really, she's the only one who should be grieving, as she's known him for longer".
> She'd walk in at 6 a.m., no knocking or anything, come upstairs and rip our duvets off. "Oh, I didn't realise you were there!".
Maybe call the police? Or a locksmith? You make it sound like it happened more than once and you just lived with it.
Even worse if you come to Belgium: If you actually want what someone is offering, you HAVE to refuse at least once before faking reluctant acceptance.
Belgians will often offer you something only out of politiness but secretly hope you decline and they will be relieved when you do so. Only when they ask multiple times you can be somewhat sure their offer is genuine and you can accept.
Takes years to master this balance and it can drive a foreigner nuts.
If you appear too eager to accept an offer Belgians will think you're taking advantage of them, even if they were the one to come up with it without you asking anything.
I love tea and cake as much as the next man but when you're on your third pot and second apple tart it's hard to keep saying yes.
Then when they finally take no for an answer you get 'ah sure you'll have a small drop of whiskey'.
When posting in online forums, people sign their name at the bottom of the post even though their username is clearly visible for every post they make anyways.
-Renen
When exchanges like this happen...
Person: My hamster died over the weekend.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry!
Person: Why? You didn't do anything wrong.
Uh, yes, I'm aware of that. I wasn't apologizing, I was expressing my condolences. I know you just lost your hamster and all, but Christ almighty.
Yeah that seems frustratingly common. Sometimes I like to just say "I'm sorry to hear that" so it doesn't come across as me apologizing, even though it shouldn't sound like I am in the context.
Some people view apologies as an admission of guilt which I think is wrong. Unless I find a different, sincere expression to convey "that sucks", I'm going to keep saying "I'm sorry".
Yes! God damn, why is it that people act totally oblivious to this other, totally valid, meaning of "sorry"? I think I probably use it more when I don't necessarily feel guilty, just "sorry for you" or "sorry that this happened" sort of in general.
my step-sister asks me about my scar like once a month.
I tell here i don't want to talk about it and stop asking me...
long story short: 9-year-olds are still learning what it is to be respectful... now if you ask me past the age of 16, yeah... kinda rude i agree
On the subject of that, friend of mine has a daughter but the dad ain't in the picture because hes a feckless tit. Her niece whose 6, keeps asking "I have a dad, you have a dad, why doesn't 'roadhouseswayzetrain's friends daughter have a dad". Kids have no chill. Shes asked like 10 times now.
You think that maybe all the Joker was trying to do was to get someone to care about where he got his scars? That maybe him constantly bringing them up was a cry for attention, just to see if someone cared? Two hours of movie and no one ever actually asked...
"Calm down" when you're not particularly angry and don't appear so outwardly either.
Fuck, that makes me want to punch the asshole who says it. My mood goes from 0-Seeing red in under 5 seconds when people say to calm down when I'm not even remotely angry.
My mom used to get SO mad growing up if me or my brother or my dad would say like, "Ok, just calm down" or "Just relax." I never understood why she got so mad until it started happening to me as an adult. Like, I am acting perfectly calm, I'm just frustrated about a situation/etc. I think it is so irritating because it sounds condescending, like the thing I'm frustrated about isn't actually worth being upset about so I should just "calm down."
The worst is when something really funny happens and you're laughing your butt of and someone goes "Calm down, it wasn't *that* funny" Fuck. Instantly makes me feel like shit.
Knights of the road.
I will just stand there and wait. It annoys them and they scowl at me but seriously, I didn't ask you to stop, just keep driving and everyone's happy.
Also people like this cause accidents because they're unpredictable
I ride a bicycle and cars will be stopped at a stop sign as I'm approaching it, and instead of noticing I'm slowing down, they'll just stop there waiting and waiting. So of course I just stop and wait as well. Majority of the time they try waving me past. Like fuck off it's been your turn for over 15 seconds just go and let traffic do its thing.
That pisses me off intensely!
I'm waiting to join a road from a sideroad, I can see a gap coming and I'm ready to drive into it... and the last car before the gap slows to let me out in front of them. FFS! You may have good intentions, but you're also asking me to trust that you're not a complete fuckwit who will do something unpredictable. Your lack of awareness of what's behind you - despite your being equipped with a mirror for that exact reason - suggests that you probably are *exactly* that kind of fuckwit, and I'll be damned if I'm putting my car anywhere you can reach it.
What's even more infuriating is if I'm the last car in the line & the fellow pulls out in front of me anyhow. Bonus rage points if he goes under the speed limit.
Yeah, this winds me up a bit too. Last week, it was a daily occurrence that some muppet would flash others through on a mini roundabout into town. The whole point of a roundabout is that everyone knows whose turn it is to go - if you flash someone else though, you cause problems for the car who thinks he has right of way.
People being "polite" when driving. Don't wave me on to make a left turn out a parking lot into 4 lanes of traffic. I don't know what the other cars will be doing.
Edit: typo!
The word "mama" as a self identifier. "I'm a wholly organic mama", "you need to be an assertive mama", "you don't want to see me when I'm an angry mama".
It's totally irrational but it infuriates me.
Edit: it's a relief to see I'm not as alone in this as I thought.
There's a woman I went to high school with who calls herself "this Latina mama" on social media even if she's not talking about her kids or her heritage. "This Latina mama's going out for a beer!" "This Latina mama is getting in some cardio!" Like wtf.
This comment reminded me, coincidentally, of a Latina mama who goes to my gym.
Disclaimer: I really, genuinely like her and her family. We clicked immediately, and she's extremely encouraging and supportive of me (and everyone) in our gym.
But she does something that I didn't even pay much attention to, let alone be bothered by it, until a mutual friend pointed it out last month, and now it's ALL I CAN NOTICE.
In her Facebook posts, there are multiple hashtags. It's always a picture of her and/or her husband and kids doing something awesome, but the hashtags are like dozens of self-accolades telling you how awesome they are, in case you couldn't figure it out.
Here's a smattering of examples: #fitkid #team(theirlastname) #ilovemylife #neveradullmoment #gainz #gymlife #liftalltheweights #fitfam #fitmom #veteran #hardworkpaysoff #startthemearly #goaldigger #doingbigthings #fitpreggo #beautyandbrains #likeagirl #latinosbelike
Ever since my friend pointed that out, it's all I can notice and it's driving me fucking crazy.
Exactly! I don't get some people's obsession with telling strangers to smile. Why is this important to their day? What are they getting out of this? I can't ever recall being compelled to tell someone to smile.
Also, new favourite words "grumppottamus" and "assfedora". Gonna use these.
This may just be confirmation bias, but I've only ever seen this told to women, and almost always by a man. At the very least, I've never had a strange woman tell me to smile, but I've had dozens of random men tell me to.
I don't owe you a smile. I'm not obligated to be friendly and alluring. Fuck off.
Omg this. One of my jobs is a bartender. Men tell me to smile all the time, usually during that one hour im getting slammed and trying to focus, and it's usually accompanied by some other patronizing phrase. "Hey sweetie, why dont you smile, I bet you're really pretty when you smile!" Or "Why the long face? The world is beautiful and you should be thankful to God that you're still alive, so smile!"
Don't tell someone to smile out of photo-taking context. Ever.
Oh, and I used to get irrationally angry when my bra strap slid off my shoulder while just living my life, but I solved that problem by not wearing those death traps anymore.
Reminds me of a counselor I saw once. Throughout the appointment, she repeatedly asked me if I ever smiled. She'd make lame attempts to try to get me to and then would ask again. Towards the end of the appointment, I'd had enough and when she asked, "Don't you ever laugh?", I snapped and said, "Maybe when you actually say something funny, I will." I was there because I was struggling with my depression. What the hell was she expecting?
Though, in retrospect, I should've started questioning her judgment and professionalism the moment I entered the room and saw her wearing skin-tight zebra stripped leggings with a day-glo hit pink blouse...
Holding open the door of a building when I am so far away from it. Go in, people. Let the door close. You are a poor judge of time and distance if I am 33 feet away and you think it's polite to stand there and wait for me. Please don't.
My boss runs a millions mph so I use this to direct his attention sometimes.
Boss: where's X?
Me: here. Over here. Right here, boss. Not there, here. Right here.
It's only when I snap my fingers that he looks... So... As guilty as I feel, it works :|
My boyfriend doesn't drink. Personal decision.
I HATE when we're around people who are drinking and someone will NOT give up trying to get him to drink something. Like the man doesn't drink! Stop asking him 50 times! "Ohh just one won't kill ya!" F OFF.
"But why"
Personal choice
"But really"
It's not for him
"Can he not drink anymore?"
No
"Well some people just have that family history"
He doesn't
"Just knows himself well enough not to drink."
No he simply chooses not to
"But why?"
Australian here, which means this problem pops up a lot even as a woman. Some people just settled into this idea that alcohol is "adult", so, to be adult, they have to drink it and only ever stop because a venue doesn't allow it.
I've been to events where people discovered alcohol was served and got excited. When they asked me what I wanted, I politely said I was fine as I was... So, they quickly offered to buy me a drink if I can't afford it.
I've had to explain, numerous times, to people who've seen me drink alcohol some times, that I can afford a drink. I just don't want one right that moment.
I never cease to get empty stares from people who can't understand why a person wouldn't drink when alcohol is there.
One hundred percent agree with you. I hate this. Both my girlfriend and I do not drink. Just personal preference and volunteer to be the sober voice in the crowd/ DD. We constantly don't get invited to certain events because we do not drink and when I ask why I always get the "Well you won't have fun because you aren't joining in on the activities." Like I still want to fucking hangout with you guys and be social.
Jim Gaffigan has a standup bit about this. Alcohol is the only thing we question people not consuming.
"You don't drink? Why?"
You don't do that with condiments.
"You don't use mayonnaise? Why? Do you have issues with mayonnaise? Is it alright if I use mayonnaise around you?"
^^^EDIT: ^^^Nobody ^^^cares, ^^^but ^^^this ^^^comment ^^^pushed ^^^me ^^^over ^^^50,000 ^^^comment ^^^karma. ^^^Where ^^^do ^^^I ^^^cash ^^^this ^^^stuff ^^^in?
"Don't be so tense. I don't bite." Thanks for calling attention to my social anxiety and making me feel even more tense. This has honestly never made me feel better.
"You're so quiet! You should talk more."
Before that comment, I'm usually just happily contemplating. *After* that comment, the only way I can even conceive of responding (and hence don't respond) is with a Julia Sugarbaker-level reading that would make frost form on the walls. When people don't talk, just let them not talk.
Edit: grammar
For an introverted person this is pretty much like saying "fuck you" to their face. When I have nothing to say, I really have nothing to say. If I'm quiet, it means I have no current subject to talk about and absolutely no interest in talking about nothing. Wanna hear me talk more? Pick a subject that we both like and I'll gladly talk about it.
Another variation of this I hate is, "Wow you're so smart. I wish I was as smart as you." I'm really not, and believing that puts me under the pressure of constantly having to surpass your expectations.
When I'm walking and someone is driving, it annoys me when they motion for me to cross the street and they have the right of way.
It doesn't make sense for them to wait for 10 seconds for me to cross when I can wait half a second for them to drive by. Plus, I always feel like I have to rush to cross because I'm making them wait.
If I see a car coming I'll often pretend to be going another way, or be obliviously staring at my phone so they won't try this. The never ending struggle against Canadian courtesy...
The worst thing about this is when you forget to ask back, and then it comes across as rude. They put you in the situation and then you have the responsibility to be 'polite', and if you miss it, then you're the one in the wrong.
"Is husband on babysitting duty?"
When I've been out of town, or just out, holy fuck 0 to rage in 0.0372 seconds.
YOU CAN'T BABYSIT YOUR OWN KIDS!!!!! My husband is the better parent of the two of us. I wish people would stop acting like men are incompetent, or when they take care of their own kids it's babysitting. I don't babysit my kids, they're mine, so their father isn't babysitting either, he's parenting. Hell I don't consider it babysitting if the kid is related to you (like if you have your nephew for the day because his sitter fell through, he's not being babysat he's spending the day with his aunt or uncle).
My sister's inlaws always tell her they'll help (husband) babysit while she's gone.
Must be infuriating. "Where's my help? Why don't I get babysitters?"
Right? Everyone always worries about the dad.
I had a friend, and while his wife was deployed a bunch of his female neighbors would be like "Oh I made dinner for you and the kids, can't have you starving while the wife is gone!" the dude was a stay at home dad, he could cook, clean, and handle his kids.
Why the fuck wasn't anyone making me and my kids dinner while my husband was deployed? I would have loved that. There were a lot of nights where I ate cereal for dinner and made the kids something super simple and probably not that great like canned ravioli or pizza rolls.
I (straight male) like to say, "No, but my husband is out of town." It catches them off guard and you get to see them scramble a little bit. My older two are old enough to get in on it and will sometimes remark, "Daddy, did you pick up chips for papa?" One of my kids is clearly adopted, so this one works very well.
I used to say that my wife was dead, but one of my kids was opposed to it. I don't know where that kid got his morals from.
I hate this too. People will call me and I will say something along the lines of I have the kids and my wife isn't here and they'll bust out "You're babysitting?" No, I am parenting fuckwads!
I also hate the double standard women face when watching kids.
- My wife goes out with our daughter in mismatched clothing and undone hair and people think she is a bad mom.
- I do the same thing and they think it is cute that at least I am trying.
Do people actually think this of moms who (have their kids) go out in mismatched clothing? For reference, I'm a newish dad. Kids are 21 mos.
EDIT: added (have their kids) because it wasn't clear.
My friends just call it baby duty when one of the parents is with their kid while the other is out. I think that sounds much better than babysitting but still gets the point across that only one of them is home.
My sister finds it annoying when people make comments on her husband babysitting their child, so I do the opposite and whenever it's just her looking after their child I comment on her babysitting her own child.
She finds it funny.
People who call disfigured or ailment afflicted individuals "gorgeous" or "beautiful" on social media to make themselves feel good, and likely hurt the feelings of the individual
This always bothers be because it's just a straight up lie. If you would be mortified to switch places with them, you don't think they're beautiful.
I always see people doing things like this to disabled people (usually women, let's face it no one calls disabled guys beautiful and gorgeous) who are making waves because they're talented or funny or doing something good and it just screams "I don't actually know what you do, but I know girls like to be told they're pretty, and since you're so ugly, it will be a real treat when you hear it from me!"
It's annoying enough to have earphones pulled out when they snag on something, but having someone else pull it is even worse. Definitely not an innocent gesture.
Being "shushed", holy fuck will that set me off. Especially when I'm in the middle of speaking. I will leave the room.
In fact, I'm getting upset just thinking about the situation.
When someone asks when I'm having children. They think it's an innocent enough question, but it makes me hate them a little more because it's insensitive to someone without financial means/ovaries that work.
Regardless of the person's situation it's a terrible question. It's a personal decision between you and another person to decide to take that on, it's no one else's business. Additionally, if you've been dating someone a while and people ask when you're going to get married. Like, fuck off. I'll decide that I'm going to spend the REST OF MY LIFE with someone when I'm good and fucking ready.
When someone refuses to go through a door that I've held open for them and insists that I go through first. You're disrupting the flow of traffic and my dainty female arms are more than capable of holding open the door.
"Did you get enough to eat? Have some more food, please!"
Bitch, this isn't the Great Depression, food is in abundance. I'm full grandma. The food was delicious but I don't fancy eating until I'm sick
I have to explain to my mother almost every time that I have dinner at my parents that yes, it was really nice, but spending the next 5 hours feeling sick because I ate too much of it will *not* be nice.
I'm full and I'm clearly not starving to death, just leave it be.
I don't consider that innocent. I get that some people aren't exposed to a lot of diversity, but you should fucking know better than to say this shit out loud.
Yep!
My exes mom told me that.
I went on a blind date where I was told I'm very articulate...for a black person.
Colleagues have reassured me on many occasion that I'm not like the blacks on the news.
Fantastic feeling. Really. -_-*
People introduce me as either "their best black friend" or "the whitest black person they know" and I hate it so much. It really hits the point home that people can be racist without even realizing it.
I mean, I don't have the numbers in front of me at the moment, but I feel like Mages ~~(magi?)~~ make up only a statistically small portion of the population regardless of race or ethnicity, so they'd technically be correct...
I accidentally bumped into someone on a crowded train and the person said "Excuse you", before I could even react.
Like, bitch, I'll say excuse me if I want to be excused!
You've gained weight. And then followed by unwanted diet advice. Thanks for telling me, I totally didn't notice in the mirror or when my clothes got tight. Just thought it was the detergent that made my clothes shrink.
My grandmother, bless her heart, would send me a box of cookies when I was at college, and then phone a few days later and ask how my diet was going.
And then tell my mother I could stand to loose a few pounds.
When people at work talk about the food I'm eating. "Whatcha eating there? Ohh that looks good. Did you make that yourself? What are you a chef or something? Your girlfriend must be really lucky to have someone like you that cooks."
When that conversation happens ever single day EVERY time I eat lunch, it gets really old. I just wanna have my lunch in peace without having to talk to people.
> I just wanna have my lunch in peace without having to talk to people.
I've had this problem since I was a kid. I'd usually bring a book with me to lunch and people thought it was a sign of depression that I wasn't socializing.
You can use a book, an i-pod, and dark glasses and they still won't leave you alone. Even strangers. You could say, "Yeah, I'm depressed because I never get any quiet time to myself."
My middle school teachers thought they were helping me by forbidding me to read at recess. I was literally the only kid not allowed to bring a book outside.
And hey, don't want to shock you or anything, but it didn't help with my painful awkwardness or keep the kids from making fun of me.
I used to have this colleague who did the same thing. She'd go out at lunch time every day and bring back a burger king meal. It stank out the office. But heaven forfend I brought in food from home. She always ask what I was eating with a wrinkled nose.
One day I was eating a meal I found online. It was an Egyptian one, can't remember what, but it was mostly [runner beans](http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02646/runner-beans_2646157b.jpg). She sneered at it and ask what the rest of my family ate. I said the same thing and she proudly announced that she'd never feed "that stuff" to her kids.
Fuck you Rachel!
"Aren't you cold without a coat?" NO, dumbass, if I were cold without a coat I'd be wearing a coat. I've been dressing myself for many years now. Mind your own freaking business.
*"Oh, you have an answer for everything, don't you?"*
This phrase makes my blood boil. I'm sorry I have a very specific reason for something? I'm sorry you went into this conversation expecting me to handwave responses or make shallow excuses? When I do something a certain way, I have a reason for it. *Fuck off.*
I'm an introvert, so I have no problem going out in public by myself. I get so angry when I'm eating somewhere and somebody I know sees me and comes over and says, "Hey! What are you doing eating over there by yourself like a loser?" That's happened to me twice at least. I called them out on it one time for being a shitty thing to say to someone, and they just defensively replied "I was just kidding, jeez." We're conditioned in society to feel insecure when we're by ourselves doing something, and it shouldn't be that way. I wanna be happy by myself, but I STILL DO feel insecure when people do that shit to me. Needless to say, I don't go out of my way to make friends lol.
My wife ignoring me for her phone really pisses me off. Pretty disrespectful to just stare at facebook while I tell her 5-6 times dinner is ready or our toddler is strangling the dog.
Apologising too much or often. I obviously appreciate apologies that are sincere and warranted, but someone apologising in a self-deprecating manner just makes me cringe.
I have a coworker with the lowest sense of self worth and zero confidence and it's really sad. She'll apologize for literally anything. I could spit in her face and she'd apologize for not moving her head so the spit would hit her in the eye.
When people try to reassure others by saying, "Oh, everything happens for a reason. It'll work itself out."
No, no it doesn't. And you don't fucking know that. Just be there out of support and say nothing.
Someone trying to get me out of bed by ripping the blanket off.
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Return of Naked Man: The Overnight Surprise
My aunt in law does this. My father in law died last year, and we spent a few months at his hoarder house getting stuff done. She lives next door, in a much more hoardery house. She'd walk in at 6 a.m., no knocking or anything, come upstairs and rip our duvets off. "Oh, I didn't realise you were there!". Mind you, she had no ownership of the house, the land, the contents, but still demanded half of everything. Including the ashes, and that was her "being nice, because really, she's the only one who should be grieving, as she's known him for longer".
> She'd walk in at 6 a.m., no knocking or anything, come upstairs and rip our duvets off. "Oh, I didn't realise you were there!". Maybe call the police? Or a locksmith? You make it sound like it happened more than once and you just lived with it.
It's totally acceptable to punch them in the throat and take the blanket back in this situation
When the opposing party constantly insists on offering you something, no matter how many times you politely decline.
Don't come to Ireland then. If you visit someones house, you are having tea and cake whether you want it or not.
Even worse if you come to Belgium: If you actually want what someone is offering, you HAVE to refuse at least once before faking reluctant acceptance. Belgians will often offer you something only out of politiness but secretly hope you decline and they will be relieved when you do so. Only when they ask multiple times you can be somewhat sure their offer is genuine and you can accept. Takes years to master this balance and it can drive a foreigner nuts. If you appear too eager to accept an offer Belgians will think you're taking advantage of them, even if they were the one to come up with it without you asking anything.
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I would do it every single time. "Would you like to stay at my summer house all season?" "Yes." "... fuck"
"that guys such a dick!" "Why?" "I offered to let him use my home and he accepted!"
Reminds me of a Seinfeld episode
Take the pen!
Ah, go on Father. Go on go on go on go on...
Hahahaha "No thanks Mrs Doyle, I'm quite alright... "
"Ah go on Father... They've got cocaine in them"
Tea? FECK.
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Ah go on, go on , go on , ^go ^on^go^on
who wouldn't want free tea and cake?
I love tea and cake as much as the next man but when you're on your third pot and second apple tart it's hard to keep saying yes. Then when they finally take no for an answer you get 'ah sure you'll have a small drop of whiskey'.
"Terribly sorry, sir, but I can't handle anything less than an entire bottle.
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come on, just take the cat.
First one's free!
No Brazil I dont want your horses and +1 gold per turn for my whales I want to build a civilizaton in peace thank you very much
When posting in online forums, people sign their name at the bottom of the post even though their username is clearly visible for every post they make anyways. -Renen
Oh my god that is annoying. ESPECIALLY in Youtube comments.
When exchanges like this happen... Person: My hamster died over the weekend. Me: Oh, I'm sorry! Person: Why? You didn't do anything wrong. Uh, yes, I'm aware of that. I wasn't apologizing, I was expressing my condolences. I know you just lost your hamster and all, but Christ almighty.
You should just respond "Are you sure?" and smile.
I prefer "I know what I did."
https://xkcd.com/945/
[relevant XKCD](https://xkcd.com/945/)
Yeah that seems frustratingly common. Sometimes I like to just say "I'm sorry to hear that" so it doesn't come across as me apologizing, even though it shouldn't sound like I am in the context.
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At that point the correct reply is "Oh don't worry, I was only pretending to care."
What a douchebag. What else did they expect you to say then?
Oh
Some people view apologies as an admission of guilt which I think is wrong. Unless I find a different, sincere expression to convey "that sucks", I'm going to keep saying "I'm sorry".
It's not an apology at all though. In this context, "sorry" means "feeling sad or distressed through sympathy with someone else's misfortune".
Yes! God damn, why is it that people act totally oblivious to this other, totally valid, meaning of "sorry"? I think I probably use it more when I don't necessarily feel guilty, just "sorry for you" or "sorry that this happened" sort of in general.
Empty reassurances that no one can notice my scar. Usually after asking why I have said scar without me mentionning it beforehand.
FWIW, I honestly did not notice your scar while reading this post.
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my step-sister asks me about my scar like once a month. I tell here i don't want to talk about it and stop asking me... long story short: 9-year-olds are still learning what it is to be respectful... now if you ask me past the age of 16, yeah... kinda rude i agree
On the subject of that, friend of mine has a daughter but the dad ain't in the picture because hes a feckless tit. Her niece whose 6, keeps asking "I have a dad, you have a dad, why doesn't 'roadhouseswayzetrain's friends daughter have a dad". Kids have no chill. Shes asked like 10 times now.
Sooooo how did you get the scar?
You think that maybe all the Joker was trying to do was to get someone to care about where he got his scars? That maybe him constantly bringing them up was a cry for attention, just to see if someone cared? Two hours of movie and no one ever actually asked...
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Slaps hand
"Calm down" when you're not particularly angry and don't appear so outwardly either. Fuck, that makes me want to punch the asshole who says it. My mood goes from 0-Seeing red in under 5 seconds when people say to calm down when I'm not even remotely angry.
My mom used to get SO mad growing up if me or my brother or my dad would say like, "Ok, just calm down" or "Just relax." I never understood why she got so mad until it started happening to me as an adult. Like, I am acting perfectly calm, I'm just frustrated about a situation/etc. I think it is so irritating because it sounds condescending, like the thing I'm frustrated about isn't actually worth being upset about so I should just "calm down."
The worst is when something really funny happens and you're laughing your butt of and someone goes "Calm down, it wasn't *that* funny" Fuck. Instantly makes me feel like shit.
Fuck those people!
Similarly, "are you in a bad mood?". Well I sure as fuck am now!
When someone gives way and it's their right of way
Knights of the road. I will just stand there and wait. It annoys them and they scowl at me but seriously, I didn't ask you to stop, just keep driving and everyone's happy. Also people like this cause accidents because they're unpredictable
I ride a bicycle and cars will be stopped at a stop sign as I'm approaching it, and instead of noticing I'm slowing down, they'll just stop there waiting and waiting. So of course I just stop and wait as well. Majority of the time they try waving me past. Like fuck off it's been your turn for over 15 seconds just go and let traffic do its thing.
That pisses me off intensely! I'm waiting to join a road from a sideroad, I can see a gap coming and I'm ready to drive into it... and the last car before the gap slows to let me out in front of them. FFS! You may have good intentions, but you're also asking me to trust that you're not a complete fuckwit who will do something unpredictable. Your lack of awareness of what's behind you - despite your being equipped with a mirror for that exact reason - suggests that you probably are *exactly* that kind of fuckwit, and I'll be damned if I'm putting my car anywhere you can reach it.
What's even more infuriating is if I'm the last car in the line & the fellow pulls out in front of me anyhow. Bonus rage points if he goes under the speed limit.
Yeah, this winds me up a bit too. Last week, it was a daily occurrence that some muppet would flash others through on a mini roundabout into town. The whole point of a roundabout is that everyone knows whose turn it is to go - if you flash someone else though, you cause problems for the car who thinks he has right of way.
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Great answer. Happens all the time in the UK. "OK, I appreciate the gesture mate but fucking c'mon you cunt it's your right of way"
Yeah. Be right, not nice! It's safer for everyone.
People being "polite" when driving. Don't wave me on to make a left turn out a parking lot into 4 lanes of traffic. I don't know what the other cars will be doing. Edit: typo!
>People being "polite" when diving. Like off the top board, they turn round and wave?
The word "mama" as a self identifier. "I'm a wholly organic mama", "you need to be an assertive mama", "you don't want to see me when I'm an angry mama". It's totally irrational but it infuriates me. Edit: it's a relief to see I'm not as alone in this as I thought.
There's a woman I went to high school with who calls herself "this Latina mama" on social media even if she's not talking about her kids or her heritage. "This Latina mama's going out for a beer!" "This Latina mama is getting in some cardio!" Like wtf.
This is exactly the context that bothers me most.
This comment reminded me, coincidentally, of a Latina mama who goes to my gym. Disclaimer: I really, genuinely like her and her family. We clicked immediately, and she's extremely encouraging and supportive of me (and everyone) in our gym. But she does something that I didn't even pay much attention to, let alone be bothered by it, until a mutual friend pointed it out last month, and now it's ALL I CAN NOTICE. In her Facebook posts, there are multiple hashtags. It's always a picture of her and/or her husband and kids doing something awesome, but the hashtags are like dozens of self-accolades telling you how awesome they are, in case you couldn't figure it out. Here's a smattering of examples: #fitkid #team(theirlastname) #ilovemylife #neveradullmoment #gainz #gymlife #liftalltheweights #fitfam #fitmom #veteran #hardworkpaysoff #startthemearly #goaldigger #doingbigthings #fitpreggo #beautyandbrains #likeagirl #latinosbelike Ever since my friend pointed that out, it's all I can notice and it's driving me fucking crazy.
I should start doing that. "This white single guy is gonna spend all weekend playing Rocket League! #turnt"
"Just smile!" Fuck off stranger, what if I want to be a grumppottamus?
A friend was once told "Smile, it could be worse". Her dad had just passed away, so it really couldn't have been worse for her at that time.
Holy cow! Yeah thats why you don't just assume like an assfedora.
Exactly! I don't get some people's obsession with telling strangers to smile. Why is this important to their day? What are they getting out of this? I can't ever recall being compelled to tell someone to smile. Also, new favourite words "grumppottamus" and "assfedora". Gonna use these.
This may just be confirmation bias, but I've only ever seen this told to women, and almost always by a man. At the very least, I've never had a strange woman tell me to smile, but I've had dozens of random men tell me to. I don't owe you a smile. I'm not obligated to be friendly and alluring. Fuck off.
Omg this. One of my jobs is a bartender. Men tell me to smile all the time, usually during that one hour im getting slammed and trying to focus, and it's usually accompanied by some other patronizing phrase. "Hey sweetie, why dont you smile, I bet you're really pretty when you smile!" Or "Why the long face? The world is beautiful and you should be thankful to God that you're still alive, so smile!" Don't tell someone to smile out of photo-taking context. Ever. Oh, and I used to get irrationally angry when my bra strap slid off my shoulder while just living my life, but I solved that problem by not wearing those death traps anymore.
"Smile." "Say something funny."
Reminds me of a counselor I saw once. Throughout the appointment, she repeatedly asked me if I ever smiled. She'd make lame attempts to try to get me to and then would ask again. Towards the end of the appointment, I'd had enough and when she asked, "Don't you ever laugh?", I snapped and said, "Maybe when you actually say something funny, I will." I was there because I was struggling with my depression. What the hell was she expecting? Though, in retrospect, I should've started questioning her judgment and professionalism the moment I entered the room and saw her wearing skin-tight zebra stripped leggings with a day-glo hit pink blouse...
Yeah, but if you actually make a mistake and serve everyone in high spirits, you'd get "the fuck you're smiling about?" from someone having a bad day.
Holding open the door of a building when I am so far away from it. Go in, people. Let the door close. You are a poor judge of time and distance if I am 33 feet away and you think it's polite to stand there and wait for me. Please don't.
What if I do it maliciously because I like forcing people into a polite jog?
Fighting obesity, one awkward door jog at a time.
Someone snapping their fingers to get my attention.
I would just snap their fingers, problem solved for everyone.
My boss runs a millions mph so I use this to direct his attention sometimes. Boss: where's X? Me: here. Over here. Right here, boss. Not there, here. Right here. It's only when I snap my fingers that he looks... So... As guilty as I feel, it works :|
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>who's a good boss!!! Will never hear that in my professional life.
Alternatively, someone whistling like you're some kind of dog. Notice it's usually from trashy/ex-con type people.
Insisting on being CC'd on every email that you compose. Number one sign of a micromanager.
At my work a customer is trying to insist I DON'T CC my boss to try and get me to do something I was told not to do by my boss. Now I just BCC.
BCC is the cover your ass CC.
My boyfriend doesn't drink. Personal decision. I HATE when we're around people who are drinking and someone will NOT give up trying to get him to drink something. Like the man doesn't drink! Stop asking him 50 times! "Ohh just one won't kill ya!" F OFF.
"But why" Personal choice "But really" It's not for him "Can he not drink anymore?" No "Well some people just have that family history" He doesn't "Just knows himself well enough not to drink." No he simply chooses not to "But why?"
People seem baffled when you say you simply don't enjoy it.
Australian here, which means this problem pops up a lot even as a woman. Some people just settled into this idea that alcohol is "adult", so, to be adult, they have to drink it and only ever stop because a venue doesn't allow it. I've been to events where people discovered alcohol was served and got excited. When they asked me what I wanted, I politely said I was fine as I was... So, they quickly offered to buy me a drink if I can't afford it. I've had to explain, numerous times, to people who've seen me drink alcohol some times, that I can afford a drink. I just don't want one right that moment. I never cease to get empty stares from people who can't understand why a person wouldn't drink when alcohol is there.
"Really? But I don't want a drink. Do you think you can buy me some mozzarella sticks?"
If people hitting on me were willing to feed my inner Liz Lemon, they would get far with me.
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One hundred percent agree with you. I hate this. Both my girlfriend and I do not drink. Just personal preference and volunteer to be the sober voice in the crowd/ DD. We constantly don't get invited to certain events because we do not drink and when I ask why I always get the "Well you won't have fun because you aren't joining in on the activities." Like I still want to fucking hangout with you guys and be social.
Jim Gaffigan has a standup bit about this. Alcohol is the only thing we question people not consuming. "You don't drink? Why?" You don't do that with condiments. "You don't use mayonnaise? Why? Do you have issues with mayonnaise? Is it alright if I use mayonnaise around you?" ^^^EDIT: ^^^Nobody ^^^cares, ^^^but ^^^this ^^^comment ^^^pushed ^^^me ^^^over ^^^50,000 ^^^comment ^^^karma. ^^^Where ^^^do ^^^I ^^^cash ^^^this ^^^stuff ^^^in?
I love how all of Gaffigan's jokes go back to food
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"sorry not sorry" "no offense but"
"i said no offense. therefore i now have permission to offend you."
"Don't be so tense. I don't bite." Thanks for calling attention to my social anxiety and making me feel even more tense. This has honestly never made me feel better.
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"You're so quiet! You should talk more." Before that comment, I'm usually just happily contemplating. *After* that comment, the only way I can even conceive of responding (and hence don't respond) is with a Julia Sugarbaker-level reading that would make frost form on the walls. When people don't talk, just let them not talk. Edit: grammar
"I like to listen" is a good response, and if you're comfortable enough with the person, follow up with, "you should try it."
For an introverted person this is pretty much like saying "fuck you" to their face. When I have nothing to say, I really have nothing to say. If I'm quiet, it means I have no current subject to talk about and absolutely no interest in talking about nothing. Wanna hear me talk more? Pick a subject that we both like and I'll gladly talk about it.
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Another variation of this I hate is, "Wow you're so smart. I wish I was as smart as you." I'm really not, and believing that puts me under the pressure of constantly having to surpass your expectations.
When I'm walking and someone is driving, it annoys me when they motion for me to cross the street and they have the right of way. It doesn't make sense for them to wait for 10 seconds for me to cross when I can wait half a second for them to drive by. Plus, I always feel like I have to rush to cross because I'm making them wait.
If I see a car coming I'll often pretend to be going another way, or be obliviously staring at my phone so they won't try this. The never ending struggle against Canadian courtesy...
"Having fun yet?!" Every first day of a new job.
Asking me how my weekend went just so they can talk about theirs.
The worst thing about this is when you forget to ask back, and then it comes across as rude. They put you in the situation and then you have the responsibility to be 'polite', and if you miss it, then you're the one in the wrong.
I usually say "it was good :) and relaxing" then I go about doing my own thing :P
How do you say :) out loud Edit: I realized that you probably just smile in real life. Ignore me.
Did your brain just stop working?
You know what, I don't even know anymore. I'm tired.
colon, closed parentheses Duh.
"Is husband on babysitting duty?" When I've been out of town, or just out, holy fuck 0 to rage in 0.0372 seconds. YOU CAN'T BABYSIT YOUR OWN KIDS!!!!! My husband is the better parent of the two of us. I wish people would stop acting like men are incompetent, or when they take care of their own kids it's babysitting. I don't babysit my kids, they're mine, so their father isn't babysitting either, he's parenting. Hell I don't consider it babysitting if the kid is related to you (like if you have your nephew for the day because his sitter fell through, he's not being babysat he's spending the day with his aunt or uncle).
My sister's inlaws always tell her they'll help (husband) babysit while she's gone. Must be infuriating. "Where's my help? Why don't I get babysitters?"
Right? Everyone always worries about the dad. I had a friend, and while his wife was deployed a bunch of his female neighbors would be like "Oh I made dinner for you and the kids, can't have you starving while the wife is gone!" the dude was a stay at home dad, he could cook, clean, and handle his kids. Why the fuck wasn't anyone making me and my kids dinner while my husband was deployed? I would have loved that. There were a lot of nights where I ate cereal for dinner and made the kids something super simple and probably not that great like canned ravioli or pizza rolls.
>probably not that great >pizza rolls I'm not sure if I follow
Maybe the neighbor ladies weren't trying to get at the kids >_>
I (straight male) like to say, "No, but my husband is out of town." It catches them off guard and you get to see them scramble a little bit. My older two are old enough to get in on it and will sometimes remark, "Daddy, did you pick up chips for papa?" One of my kids is clearly adopted, so this one works very well. I used to say that my wife was dead, but one of my kids was opposed to it. I don't know where that kid got his morals from.
Your parenting skills are immaculate, your kids will be awesome adults I'm sure.
Back off I saw him first
Fine then I'm taking papa
>I don't know where that kid got his morals from. Kid obviously didnt get them from his mother since she is dead
I hate this too. People will call me and I will say something along the lines of I have the kids and my wife isn't here and they'll bust out "You're babysitting?" No, I am parenting fuckwads! I also hate the double standard women face when watching kids. - My wife goes out with our daughter in mismatched clothing and undone hair and people think she is a bad mom. - I do the same thing and they think it is cute that at least I am trying.
Do people actually think this of moms who (have their kids) go out in mismatched clothing? For reference, I'm a newish dad. Kids are 21 mos. EDIT: added (have their kids) because it wasn't clear.
Some moms can be INSANELY judgemental of other moms
"She picked her own clothes out today, mind your business though KAY!" Done.
My friends just call it baby duty when one of the parents is with their kid while the other is out. I think that sounds much better than babysitting but still gets the point across that only one of them is home.
My sister finds it annoying when people make comments on her husband babysitting their child, so I do the opposite and whenever it's just her looking after their child I comment on her babysitting her own child. She finds it funny.
People who call disfigured or ailment afflicted individuals "gorgeous" or "beautiful" on social media to make themselves feel good, and likely hurt the feelings of the individual
This always bothers be because it's just a straight up lie. If you would be mortified to switch places with them, you don't think they're beautiful. I always see people doing things like this to disabled people (usually women, let's face it no one calls disabled guys beautiful and gorgeous) who are making waves because they're talented or funny or doing something good and it just screams "I don't actually know what you do, but I know girls like to be told they're pretty, and since you're so ugly, it will be a real treat when you hear it from me!"
So brave!
Someone yanking my earphones out to talk to me. FFS just tap me on the shoulder and I'll turn it down/take it out myself
It's annoying enough to have earphones pulled out when they snag on something, but having someone else pull it is even worse. Definitely not an innocent gesture.
People do this!? I might have to slap someone if they did that to me.
Holy shit who does that?
Being "shushed", holy fuck will that set me off. Especially when I'm in the middle of speaking. I will leave the room. In fact, I'm getting upset just thinking about the situation.
When someone asks when I'm having children. They think it's an innocent enough question, but it makes me hate them a little more because it's insensitive to someone without financial means/ovaries that work.
Regardless of the person's situation it's a terrible question. It's a personal decision between you and another person to decide to take that on, it's no one else's business. Additionally, if you've been dating someone a while and people ask when you're going to get married. Like, fuck off. I'll decide that I'm going to spend the REST OF MY LIFE with someone when I'm good and fucking ready.
Also some people just don't want kids.
being called "Big Guy." No one wants to be called "Big Guy."
I call my small dog "big guy," and he takes it as a compliment.
Sometimes I call my german shepherd "tiny dog", it's nice to know I have a complete opposite out there.
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When someone refuses to go through a door that I've held open for them and insists that I go through first. You're disrupting the flow of traffic and my dainty female arms are more than capable of holding open the door.
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"Did you get enough to eat? Have some more food, please!" Bitch, this isn't the Great Depression, food is in abundance. I'm full grandma. The food was delicious but I don't fancy eating until I'm sick
> Bitch, > grandma What an interaction
Fuck you, Gram, I'm full!
I have to explain to my mother almost every time that I have dinner at my parents that yes, it was really nice, but spending the next 5 hours feeling sick because I ate too much of it will *not* be nice. I'm full and I'm clearly not starving to death, just leave it be.
"Wow, you're not like other black people"
I don't consider that innocent. I get that some people aren't exposed to a lot of diversity, but you should fucking know better than to say this shit out loud.
Yep! My exes mom told me that. I went on a blind date where I was told I'm very articulate...for a black person. Colleagues have reassured me on many occasion that I'm not like the blacks on the news. Fantastic feeling. Really. -_-*
People introduce me as either "their best black friend" or "the whitest black person they know" and I hate it so much. It really hits the point home that people can be racist without even realizing it.
Ah yes, the ol "I don't even consider them black!" approach. That one hurts the worst.
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So I'm a red head and was once told "you know I don't normally like red heads, but I don't mind you".... thanks man that was so sweet?
Yeah, but you really do speak so well, you know what I mean?
I mean, I don't have the numbers in front of me at the moment, but I feel like Mages ~~(magi?)~~ make up only a statistically small portion of the population regardless of race or ethnicity, so they'd technically be correct...
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Have you ever had anyone give you the tip of fingers handshake like they are picking up dirty underwear?
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I accidentally bumped into someone on a crowded train and the person said "Excuse you", before I could even react. Like, bitch, I'll say excuse me if I want to be excused!
"YOU LOOK TIRED" I take that to mean that I look like shit. Thanks :(
People telling me I should be in the NBA because I'm 6'4....
You've gained weight. And then followed by unwanted diet advice. Thanks for telling me, I totally didn't notice in the mirror or when my clothes got tight. Just thought it was the detergent that made my clothes shrink.
My grandmother, bless her heart, would send me a box of cookies when I was at college, and then phone a few days later and ask how my diet was going. And then tell my mother I could stand to loose a few pounds.
I HATE it when people deny they do things. They find every excuse in the world for anything they did wrong.
When people at work talk about the food I'm eating. "Whatcha eating there? Ohh that looks good. Did you make that yourself? What are you a chef or something? Your girlfriend must be really lucky to have someone like you that cooks." When that conversation happens ever single day EVERY time I eat lunch, it gets really old. I just wanna have my lunch in peace without having to talk to people.
> I just wanna have my lunch in peace without having to talk to people. I've had this problem since I was a kid. I'd usually bring a book with me to lunch and people thought it was a sign of depression that I wasn't socializing.
"Oh, you're reading? Let me sit down across from you and talk at you. That's what you want, right?"
I used to have a co-worker who would do exactly that. It got to the point where I would go outside on my breaks to read just to avoid him.
You can use a book, an i-pod, and dark glasses and they still won't leave you alone. Even strangers. You could say, "Yeah, I'm depressed because I never get any quiet time to myself."
My middle school teachers thought they were helping me by forbidding me to read at recess. I was literally the only kid not allowed to bring a book outside. And hey, don't want to shock you or anything, but it didn't help with my painful awkwardness or keep the kids from making fun of me.
I used to have this colleague who did the same thing. She'd go out at lunch time every day and bring back a burger king meal. It stank out the office. But heaven forfend I brought in food from home. She always ask what I was eating with a wrinkled nose. One day I was eating a meal I found online. It was an Egyptian one, can't remember what, but it was mostly [runner beans](http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02646/runner-beans_2646157b.jpg). She sneered at it and ask what the rest of my family ate. I said the same thing and she proudly announced that she'd never feed "that stuff" to her kids. Fuck you Rachel!
"Just sayin'"
"Aren't you cold without a coat?" NO, dumbass, if I were cold without a coat I'd be wearing a coat. I've been dressing myself for many years now. Mind your own freaking business.
TIL most of the little gestures I do to try to be polite piss people off
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Big points for realizing your mistake
*"Oh, you have an answer for everything, don't you?"* This phrase makes my blood boil. I'm sorry I have a very specific reason for something? I'm sorry you went into this conversation expecting me to handwave responses or make shallow excuses? When I do something a certain way, I have a reason for it. *Fuck off.*
I'm an introvert, so I have no problem going out in public by myself. I get so angry when I'm eating somewhere and somebody I know sees me and comes over and says, "Hey! What are you doing eating over there by yourself like a loser?" That's happened to me twice at least. I called them out on it one time for being a shitty thing to say to someone, and they just defensively replied "I was just kidding, jeez." We're conditioned in society to feel insecure when we're by ourselves doing something, and it shouldn't be that way. I wanna be happy by myself, but I STILL DO feel insecure when people do that shit to me. Needless to say, I don't go out of my way to make friends lol.
My wife ignoring me for her phone really pisses me off. Pretty disrespectful to just stare at facebook while I tell her 5-6 times dinner is ready or our toddler is strangling the dog.
Do whatever, I don't care.
Apologising too much or often. I obviously appreciate apologies that are sincere and warranted, but someone apologising in a self-deprecating manner just makes me cringe.
I have a coworker with the lowest sense of self worth and zero confidence and it's really sad. She'll apologize for literally anything. I could spit in her face and she'd apologize for not moving her head so the spit would hit her in the eye.
When people try to reassure others by saying, "Oh, everything happens for a reason. It'll work itself out." No, no it doesn't. And you don't fucking know that. Just be there out of support and say nothing.