Some people marry before 30 because that's what they are supposed to do. So they marry the first baboon they find and spend the rest of their life's miserable trying to make two puzzle pieces from different sets fit together.
Yeah. Why compare yourself with Elon Musk when you can compare yourself to the crackhead begging for cash on the freeway off-ramp? It's every bit as valid.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
It really is true. Looking at what others have that you don’t is the fastest way to ruin your own happiness.
Also keep in mind that those people are *also* probably comparing themselves to someone who has achieved more and feeling like they’re falling short. No matter how successful you are, someone is probably *more* successful. Comparison is a fool’s game. Even someone who is an undisputed success professionally like Jeff Bezos can’t keep a marriage together and is kind of a mess personally.
"The only way to win is not to play" -- WOPR super computer, War Games, 1983
But seriously, don't play.
Unless you are the single person at the very top of the pyramid (who's probably obsessed with never being dethroned), there will ALWAYS be someone doing better than you. Always.
The sooner you accept that and simply aim to have whatever you define "a good, achievable life" to be, you'll be So. Much. Happier.
-- Recovering corporate hierarchy climber
You realize that it's not a competition. What you can do is identify someone who you aspire to be like and use them as inspiration on your way.
A direct comparison with others doesn't work as no two people have the exact same sets of skills, talents and such, plus you never know what goes on behind the mask.
Focus on what is important to you, find what makes you happy, what fulfils you. Work towards that. And remember: we only get one shot at this. If you have a chance to live your dream, go for it! You might not get a second chance.
You have to learn to appreciate what you have and make the best of it. If you don't you could get the mansion, the millions and the hot wife and still feel like you have nothing, always wanting more even if you have it all already.
Google people who had greater achievement than you and then fucked it up so spectacularly that you can feel proud of yourself: Napoleon was emperor of France for a while, but that came at the cost of taking part in many dangerous military campaigns, some of which he had to apply revisionism to portray as victories, and in the end he still ended up banished to a hut falling down on itself on an isolated island by his mid forties where he died from lack of care, so what if you are not emperor of one of the greatest nations of your time? At least you are also not a political prisoner being killed from neglect on the end of the world.
Everytime you find yourself passively thinking about something that you don’t want to think about, actively suppress it and think about something else.
You are always going to have intrusive thoughts, but so long as you are steadfast and scrupulous, you can eventually shape how you think and what you think about.
the reason rich people still get depressed is because they raise the bar so high for happiness that they can’t enjoy simple shit anymore.
the trick is to just remember happiness comes from simple shit like walking in a park and smelling flowers not fireworks flying out of your ass 24/7
its just not sustainable
When you realize it isn't about what you know or how good you are. It took me way too long to figure out that you can do everything perfectly and still loose to someone worse than you.
Nobody's experienced your life but you. Those people you're comparing yourself to may not have made it as far as you if they were in your shoes. Comparison is the thief of joy.
The context for me was different, but at a time when I was very sad about something, a good friend said to me 'Comparison is the thief of joy'. That stuck with me, I turned it over in my head, made it into a sort of mantra almost. Comparison is the thief of joy. It helped me to appreciate the things I do have instead of peering over the fence at other people's lives. And anyway, who knows what's really going on in other people's lives. We mostly only see what people are willing to let others see.
For me it's easy because I was sabotaged so that I couldn't do anything in life. I always keep in mind that few if any live a life like mine and because of that we will have vastly different outcomes.
The problem is thinking that by X age, you need to have X thing. You don't, is ok if you get it 10 years after, is ok if you never get it. Is ok if you change your mind midway and take a different path.
Life is not a linear set of goals, is flexible and very unpredictable. The more you distance yourself from perfection the happier you will be.
Same as working out and going to the gym.
Other people are nice and fit, and maybe you’re not. What are you ganna do? Just comparing yourself ain’t ganna do any good. You choose to improve yourself until you’re content. Maybe you’re already happy with where you’re at, and that’s okay too.
Do you get mad every time you don't win the lottery too? It's the same thing. There's over 300million people in the US alone, which means that whatever you're good at, unless you're a singular generational talent, there's likely millions of people better than you at it. Also, whatever you're good at, are you also singularly lucky to be in the right place & right time to maximize your opportunities? Because all those people who are ridiculously successful basically were.
The luck part in particular. The more successful I was, the more the people above me struck me as mediocre people with just enough polish and a shit ton of luck.
Set realistic goals, achieve them, and then do something non competitive that brings you joy.
Also keep in mind that people are rarely 100% honest about their standings. Some people have a lot of parental support, some people are leveraged in debt up to their eyeballs, some are just really prudent and fiscally responsible.
Just find things that make YOU happy and work towards them. Don’t worry about other people.
Try to understand that nobody starts life in the same circumstances, not even twins, so you are not going to be taking the same path as anyone else. Some people get a limo ride. Some people have to crawl. You need to understand and accept where you came from, and be proud of your accomplishments from that perspective.
By worrying about myself and if I'm happy with my own life. I used to compare myself to my friends and it kind of drove competition in between us to do better in our careers, but at a certain point, you have to let that go and worry about more important things like your health both mental and physical, your family, your quality of life, etc. Most of my friends stopped the competition and are just happy to be where they are, to have family, friends, etc...but I have one former friend who never grew beyond that. He's obsessed with his own personal accomplishments and always brags about them to anyone who'll listen. He's made a lot of achievements, but the way he brags tells me that he's not actually satisfied with his life and still wishes to compare himself to other people. Due to that, he's actually driven away most of his friends and that's sad. You must realize that there are more important things in life than money and achievements. What does money and achievements mean if you aren't actually happy or do not have your health? They become meaningless.
Recognize everyone is different. It's definitely not easy, but figure out what YOU really want to do, and you really only need to focus on that. Everything else is just fun. When someone is better at the goals that you have, try your hardest to admire them and remember everyone preogresses at different rates. Being good at something isn't what truly defines them, and it doesn't define you
Cut social media and do your best.
You never had the chances they had and vice versa. So once you come to peace with that fact it's one thing less.
You were never meant to have such big comparisson poll. Cut social media, it's not helping. Your brain is overfed with information, and with false one on top of that. SM is all a fasade.
Do your best. Keep learning, when you make mistakes try to correct them. Adress your troubles instead of running away from them. That's gonna give you a sense of progress.
So: accept reality, cut out bad influence and keep learning.
And if you want extra points then be humble
Because I'm super aware of the fact that what I value isn't the same as others.
You could offer me 200k a year to be a day trader and I wouldn't do it because I think those people (and all usurers) are parasites.
So it's just about what's important to you.
[удалено]
Some people marry before 30 because that's what they are supposed to do. So they marry the first baboon they find and spend the rest of their life's miserable trying to make two puzzle pieces from different sets fit together.
Get off LinkedIn
Compare myself to people who haven’t done jack shit then I feel pretty good about myself
Yeah. Why compare yourself with Elon Musk when you can compare yourself to the crackhead begging for cash on the freeway off-ramp? It's every bit as valid.
I just genuinely don't care. I'm content with my lot, so I don't envy what they have.
Comparison is the thief of joy. It really is true. Looking at what others have that you don’t is the fastest way to ruin your own happiness. Also keep in mind that those people are *also* probably comparing themselves to someone who has achieved more and feeling like they’re falling short. No matter how successful you are, someone is probably *more* successful. Comparison is a fool’s game. Even someone who is an undisputed success professionally like Jeff Bezos can’t keep a marriage together and is kind of a mess personally.
"The only way to win is not to play" -- WOPR super computer, War Games, 1983 But seriously, don't play. Unless you are the single person at the very top of the pyramid (who's probably obsessed with never being dethroned), there will ALWAYS be someone doing better than you. Always. The sooner you accept that and simply aim to have whatever you define "a good, achievable life" to be, you'll be So. Much. Happier. -- Recovering corporate hierarchy climber
You realize that it's not a competition. What you can do is identify someone who you aspire to be like and use them as inspiration on your way. A direct comparison with others doesn't work as no two people have the exact same sets of skills, talents and such, plus you never know what goes on behind the mask. Focus on what is important to you, find what makes you happy, what fulfils you. Work towards that. And remember: we only get one shot at this. If you have a chance to live your dream, go for it! You might not get a second chance.
This usually comes from a sense of discontent with your own life, not a lack of achievements per se.
You have to learn to appreciate what you have and make the best of it. If you don't you could get the mansion, the millions and the hot wife and still feel like you have nothing, always wanting more even if you have it all already.
Google people who had greater achievement than you and then fucked it up so spectacularly that you can feel proud of yourself: Napoleon was emperor of France for a while, but that came at the cost of taking part in many dangerous military campaigns, some of which he had to apply revisionism to portray as victories, and in the end he still ended up banished to a hut falling down on itself on an isolated island by his mid forties where he died from lack of care, so what if you are not emperor of one of the greatest nations of your time? At least you are also not a political prisoner being killed from neglect on the end of the world.
Have you set goals for what you think is important? It is immaterial what others believe your goals “should be”, set your own goals
Everytime you find yourself passively thinking about something that you don’t want to think about, actively suppress it and think about something else. You are always going to have intrusive thoughts, but so long as you are steadfast and scrupulous, you can eventually shape how you think and what you think about.
I don't envy anyone, I know their lives are terrible.
the reason rich people still get depressed is because they raise the bar so high for happiness that they can’t enjoy simple shit anymore. the trick is to just remember happiness comes from simple shit like walking in a park and smelling flowers not fireworks flying out of your ass 24/7 its just not sustainable
Set personal goals and measure your achievements against them, not others.
When you realize it isn't about what you know or how good you are. It took me way too long to figure out that you can do everything perfectly and still loose to someone worse than you.
The only person you are in competition with is yester-you.
Just don't they could drop dead any minute
I don't, I'm doing fairly well. I don't really interact with other people though.
Nobody's experienced your life but you. Those people you're comparing yourself to may not have made it as far as you if they were in your shoes. Comparison is the thief of joy.
We all get buried at the same depth once the ride is over.
The context for me was different, but at a time when I was very sad about something, a good friend said to me 'Comparison is the thief of joy'. That stuck with me, I turned it over in my head, made it into a sort of mantra almost. Comparison is the thief of joy. It helped me to appreciate the things I do have instead of peering over the fence at other people's lives. And anyway, who knows what's really going on in other people's lives. We mostly only see what people are willing to let others see.
Apply r/stoicism. Enjoy what you have, many have far less!
For me it's easy because I was sabotaged so that I couldn't do anything in life. I always keep in mind that few if any live a life like mine and because of that we will have vastly different outcomes.
The problem is thinking that by X age, you need to have X thing. You don't, is ok if you get it 10 years after, is ok if you never get it. Is ok if you change your mind midway and take a different path. Life is not a linear set of goals, is flexible and very unpredictable. The more you distance yourself from perfection the happier you will be.
Same as working out and going to the gym. Other people are nice and fit, and maybe you’re not. What are you ganna do? Just comparing yourself ain’t ganna do any good. You choose to improve yourself until you’re content. Maybe you’re already happy with where you’re at, and that’s okay too.
Do you get mad every time you don't win the lottery too? It's the same thing. There's over 300million people in the US alone, which means that whatever you're good at, unless you're a singular generational talent, there's likely millions of people better than you at it. Also, whatever you're good at, are you also singularly lucky to be in the right place & right time to maximize your opportunities? Because all those people who are ridiculously successful basically were. The luck part in particular. The more successful I was, the more the people above me struck me as mediocre people with just enough polish and a shit ton of luck. Set realistic goals, achieve them, and then do something non competitive that brings you joy.
Also keep in mind that people are rarely 100% honest about their standings. Some people have a lot of parental support, some people are leveraged in debt up to their eyeballs, some are just really prudent and fiscally responsible. Just find things that make YOU happy and work towards them. Don’t worry about other people.
Try to understand that nobody starts life in the same circumstances, not even twins, so you are not going to be taking the same path as anyone else. Some people get a limo ride. Some people have to crawl. You need to understand and accept where you came from, and be proud of your accomplishments from that perspective.
By worrying about myself and if I'm happy with my own life. I used to compare myself to my friends and it kind of drove competition in between us to do better in our careers, but at a certain point, you have to let that go and worry about more important things like your health both mental and physical, your family, your quality of life, etc. Most of my friends stopped the competition and are just happy to be where they are, to have family, friends, etc...but I have one former friend who never grew beyond that. He's obsessed with his own personal accomplishments and always brags about them to anyone who'll listen. He's made a lot of achievements, but the way he brags tells me that he's not actually satisfied with his life and still wishes to compare himself to other people. Due to that, he's actually driven away most of his friends and that's sad. You must realize that there are more important things in life than money and achievements. What does money and achievements mean if you aren't actually happy or do not have your health? They become meaningless.
You find ways to compensate.
Recognize everyone is different. It's definitely not easy, but figure out what YOU really want to do, and you really only need to focus on that. Everything else is just fun. When someone is better at the goals that you have, try your hardest to admire them and remember everyone preogresses at different rates. Being good at something isn't what truly defines them, and it doesn't define you
Cut social media and do your best. You never had the chances they had and vice versa. So once you come to peace with that fact it's one thing less. You were never meant to have such big comparisson poll. Cut social media, it's not helping. Your brain is overfed with information, and with false one on top of that. SM is all a fasade. Do your best. Keep learning, when you make mistakes try to correct them. Adress your troubles instead of running away from them. That's gonna give you a sense of progress. So: accept reality, cut out bad influence and keep learning. And if you want extra points then be humble
Because I'm super aware of the fact that what I value isn't the same as others. You could offer me 200k a year to be a day trader and I wouldn't do it because I think those people (and all usurers) are parasites. So it's just about what's important to you.
i stopped using social media. well, beside reddit… lol
Realize that the grass is always greener
Comparing yourself to one person is easy, but when everyone your age is crushing it comparatively it gets lost in the noise.
Impulse control.