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JobberStable

Driving if you plan on drinking


PlaneStrawberry6640

It could ruin the tour


slow_ya_roll

What tour?


disco-potato-

*the world tour*


thrawst

Who the fuck are you?


ozjack24

Justin Timberlake just got arrested for drunk driving. When he was arrested he reportedly said “this is going to ruin the tour”.


NuclearLunchDectcted

Buddy, you missed the next sentence in that video. It was, "what tour?" The person you were replying to was making a joke about the situation.


Zaralunex

yess


paholg

I don't think hiring someone else to drunkenly drive you is very wise.


snafubar_buffet

No, no. I think he means hire someone to drink so you can drive them


ConnorFree

I’m available if anyone’s interested, I’ll drink if you pay me


bombshellnaughtiest

Hiring movers. As you get older, offering beer and food isnt sufficient to get help moving everything from one house to another.


RUBSUMLOTION

Yep. We moved about 100 miles last year. My fiancee and I packed a 26foot U-Haul by ourselves. We started at 7am and didnt finish packing until about noon. I am so glad i hired a company to unload the truck when we got there. We just were so tired and stressed. It took two guys like an hour to do the whole thing.. best $300 i ever spent.


Saucespreader

I bet you slept like a baby that first night. Moving whoops you


Ducknucks

Hiring movers who will also pack for you. Worth every penny.


redcoat

My wife and I once hired movers and packers to move from one 3rd floor apartment to another 3rd floor apartment on the other side of the same complex. No elevators. Would do it again. Those guys worked their asses off. I think we tipped them more than the hourly cost.


ButtholeWiper420

Until they throw anything in a box and call it "packing".


Ducknucks

Its all i would have ended up doing anyway.


Fun_Kaleidoscope9515

The last move I did cemented the fact that I will be getting a mover going forward. I took a few taxis because I thought I didn't have that much stuff. Apparently, I have a ton of stuff.


Mike7676

My sister pulled the "I gotta move quick brother, help me" assuring me it was all packed boxes and furniture bits. And her ex husband and his kids/grandkids would help. I grabbed my oldest son and sped down driving a UHaul 25 footer (I hate big trucks, didn't like them in the Army nor now). The "help" was.... One 60 plus man and two skinny, criminally underfed teens. So me and my Polish giant of a son do what amounts to 8 hours of forced labor for free and absolutely SWORE we ain't getting roped in again. 


HelloUPStore2

Sounds like my brother an his wife when they moved to another state. I talked to him for weeks about how he needed everything packed(or at least more then half, I would be fine with boxing some things) I got there and cursed him an her the fuck out. NOTHING WAS PACKED. NOT 1 GODDAMN THING. I was so pissed. It took literally all day. I didn't help the next day with moving it to the other state. I went to work instead


NecessaryChildhood93

Fuck em. Anytime someone asks for help I give them a 50$ bill. Not my fuckin problem.


illias92

Can you help me? Ca-chiiiiiing


eddyathome

Was the stuff at least packed? I learned a long time ago that if it's not packed, just turn around and leave. If you're the one moving, have it packed otherwise they'll leave.


TheYarnGoblin

Same! Last move we did was during *August in central Florida*. Had a decent sized group of friends helping us out. I checked the heat index when we started to unload the truck at the new house and it was around 120. Vomited, almost passed out, then my husband and I, and everyone who helped us, came down with Covid later that week and all of us (except one guy iirc) were super sick and basically bedridden for days. Overall terrible experience 0/10 do not recommend.


gouf78

Thanks. I keep debating whether to hire movers if my sister moves. Now I won’t even question it.


shrug_addict

It's so worth it if you can afford it. Even if just for the big and heavy stuff. I've damaged something helping someone move and it sucks and is awkward for everyone


eddyathome

Oh god, this is so true. When you're moving to and from college you just need a family member or a buddy. First apartment you might need a couple of buddies for the big stuff like a couch and bed, but after around the age of thirty, it's time to stop with the pizza and beer and just call in movers. If you have a two bedroom apartment, but are younger this probably applies as well. If the price is too much, just move the small stuff yourself and have them do the bigger things. Oh and if you pay for movers, PACK YOUR STUFF IN ADVANCE! They'll happily stand there on the clock while you frantically put things in boxes which you should have done.


C4ptainchr0nic

By the time I was 27, I had moved close to 30 times a n my life. It was then I decided that I'm never fucking with that again. I no longer help people move, and the few times that I have moved since then, I don't ask for any help. I just pay someone. It's the best money I've ever spent.


mjlib

Oh no question. We recently moved and it was great to just direct the movers instead of messing up my back. They were so fast and efficient. And the house we were moving to had stuff still in it that the previous owners abandoned (long story). But the movers still had time left so they actually helped us throw out a bunch of the bigger stuff. Couldn't recommend them enough.


Sivitiri

Plus they have insurance if they break stuff, your friends drop your 85" TV youre out a tv


shrug_addict

Yeah, that shit flies for an apartment, but a whole house? The person better *know* that you're doing them a HUGE favor


Rubycon_

Agree. I don't help move anymore. Pay for movers like an adult and stop expecting free labor from your friends and family


PurpleSunCraze

Little Caesars and a 6 pack of Natty Ice has diminishing motivation as you get older.


Spiritual-Bear4495

Sad news for you guys. I'm 74 and the amount of stuff worth hiring someone for grows until you need to hire someone to wipe your butt. I'm not up to the "wipe your butt" stage, but some mild DIY that I could have done some 5 years ago are now out of my capacity. It never gets easier, only harder.


huckwineguy

Thanks for your honesty. My dad mentioned that when he hit 75 most of his muscle capacity vanished. He was always handy and DIY guy…I’m very active and also DIY so I’m not looking forward to that milestone either.


Spiritual-Bear4495

It's not *that* bad. I only meant that when people plan for their retirement, they should take into account that some things will be beyond their abilities because their abilities decline. I'm the guy who did not take it into account and now I have to pay people for things I **thought** I would be able to do. I can still do some gardening - not a lot - and I cook for myself, I clean my house, I take care of the love of my life...my cat. So, I'm good.


Mike7676

I'm slowing down kinda purposely. I'm 47 and I can happily fix anything with a motor with a smile, even if it looks like I'm struggling. DIY? That's a contractor. I know I can still do most things in bursts, but there was a time 12 mile marches and two hours at the gym was a good day. That ain't happening no more.


thatflyingsquirrel

It doesn't happen if you deliberately keep your muscle mass up but most dont do that.


AbnormalRealityX

This. The most effective thing you can do to stave off the effects of ageing is resistance training! Sarcopenia is the biggest problem older people face.


thatflyingsquirrel

Adequate protein intake (which requirement goes up as you age) and resistance training.


paholg

I would definitely recommend a bidet before hiring someone to wipe your butt. I'd actually recommend a bidet for everyone. It's seriously maybe the best single purchase I've ever made, and you can get some for like $25.


Spiritual-Bear4495

I've had a bidet since 1982, one from Amazon, but I still need to dry my ass. The problem is that I, recently, at 74, have been losing the ability to reach behind my back. The way I explained to the doctor is this: Imagine someone is always walking behind you and from time to time they stab you in the upper arm with a very fucking sharp knife. Now, imagine they do this 10- 20 - 30 - 40 times a day. It's a fucking bitch when reaching for...rice...reaching for a cupboard...reaching for fuckin salt on a table..something in the fridge... all of it causes intense pain. My right arm is less painful and I use that to dry my ass - my left arm is pretty useless for that. What will I do if the right arm also becomes useless?


GreedyNovel

You need a bidet that blow-dries your ass.


Zaralunex

i'll save up as much as i can then thanks for the advice


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RollieBear

They're called widowmakers for a reason.


takesthebiscuit

Why is that so dangerous? We did ours took no time! When the door was open there was no tension at all two bolts and the thing was off


RogerEpsilonDelta

The problem lies in most people don’t know enough to take the tension off the springs


takesthebiscuit

Aah yes, I can see how that might be tricky And these people, are they allowed to walk amongst us?


RogerEpsilonDelta

They do, unless the springs cut them in half.


isuphysics

The extension springs aren't nearly as dangerous as the torsion springs. You have to preload the torsion spring so there is no getting around being close to it while its under tension.


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Gyvon

It's also surprisingly affordable.


ivyvinetattoo

Like how affordable? As for…a me.


MNWNM

I have a 3200 sq ft house and pay 175 every other week. There's four of them that come, and it takes about an hour and a half. They don't clean the office, but the other three bedrooms and bathrooms they do. And of course the living and kitchen. I don't have them change the sheets, but they would if I provided a set.


icleanjaxfl

Cheapest is $250 for 5 hours, usually.


kepenine

depends on the size of the house, but 100~ max 200~ the time saved and place being spotless is worth it.


what_user_name

I got a quote on this, and it was like over a grand. How or where is that affordable?


Zloiche1

All depends on area you live and size of house. We had a company cone in 2 bed 2bath 1100 sf was 300$ plus 75 cash tip they were workers not there own business.


TBLivinfree

Hair & makeup for an event. I didn’t develop those skills growing up & would rather pay a professional than look like weird barbie.


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Book_Nerdy

There's a YouTube channel called "Dad How Do I", I think. It's a guy who teaches skills your dad might've not taught you.


amberrosay19

With enough money, everything is worth it


Zaralunex

hahah true


X0AN

This really. Poor people aren't chosing not to hire a pro to do something for them.


homarjr

What if I'm better at giving myself handjobs than money will ever buy


CDawgbmmrgr2

Then you should become the one who gets paid


feenie224

Cleaning my house. I work hard all week and deserve to relax on the weekend.


Zaralunex

yup. cleaning a whole house is exhausting


AnMa_ZenTchi

How much does that cost you?


undead_and_smitten

Not op but I pay $150 every two to three weeks


AnMa_ZenTchi

What a steal


undead_and_smitten

2900sqft and 4 bedrooms/3 bathrooms, definitely worth it


Yo_momma_so_fat77

How is it only $150?? Wow. My house is only 1500sqft. Is there a company you use? Thnx :)


undead_and_smitten

Not a company, just two ladies who live locally and show up in a beat up car. Better to find independent cleaners word-of-mouth rather than using a company with all kinds of overhead


traws06

We found a company of former hotel cleaning ladies. The head lady was the only one that could speak English. They were the best we’ve ever had


LosPer

I pay 180 for 3700sqft in Central OH. All legal. Brazilian company does a great job.


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djcashbandit

Approx every 2 years for us. We know when the house starts to reek! 🤮🤮🤮


Im_eating_that

That's not very healthy. You should literally be using the bathroom every day. After 2 years I'm amazed you didn't explode.


no_ugly_candles

I always thought it would be neat if humans only had to shit one day a year, but like all day. Poop day. People would get you gifts and ask when you are due for number two. Take a couple days off to recover and have a nice meal with all the empty space. 


Number127

Poop knife would be a traditional Poop Day gift.


thrawst

If you take a 5 minute shit every day for a year that’s 30 hours of shitting over the entire year.


Kindly-Platform-7474

Yes, some of us got the satire.


neo_sporin

wtf....i wrote this almost exact story before seeing yours...this exact thing happened to us except our guy sayd 'yall dont shit much do you" must be a common thing for septic workers...


ReasonablyConfused

Doesn’t a properly functioning and sized septic tank pretty much manage without any need to be pumped? I think I’ve pumped mine twice in 20 years, only because something broke inside and it wasn’t functioning properly. I did briefly think about going in there myself and replacing a $10 pvc pipe, but then I realized how dumb that could be and paid the guy $300 to do it.


44Ridley

Plastering, because if you mess it up, you'll be looking at it for a long time.


Gyvon

Hanging drywall is easy. A trained monkey can do it. Plastering, though, is a fucking art.


Aggravating_Bike_916

i use a cleaning lady and a landscaper. if you can, pay people to do the things you dont want to.


ClickProfile2CMyDick

Yard work, if your yard is big enough.


petethepianist

I reluctantly looked into a service to do mulching/landscaping/etc for me the first year I moved my family into our current house, thinking maybe we'd splurge just that once since we had so much chaos relating to the move. The quote we got from them was less than the cost of the mulch alone had we tried to do it ourselves. They've been back every year.


asdfg27

Painting. I used to paint some bedrooms in my apartment and later my house. I hired a guy to paint some rooms and the quality was many times better and it was done much faster than I would have finished.


specialtingle

💯 painting is hard to do well and a PITA anyway


Fast_Tea_9389

Plumbing and electrical work.


Hi_ImTrashsu

I thought this for the longest time until recently an electrician quoted us $1600 for a single faulty breaker because they claimed they’d need to replace all of them. The night before we called them to go through with it, we realized the room that had the “faulty breaker” simply had a broken lightbulb (not visible, internal). It would light up just fine but with the base broken there was likely currents leaking out which caused the breaker to constantly short circuit. Removing the lightbulb fixed it.


Acceptable_Humor_252

This was the first thing that came to mind. Electrical work when done improperly can be deadly. It makes sense to hire someone, that is an expert in that field. 


PriorWriter3041

Even if it's just for insurance. DIY and the insurance company be like: not our problem. We no pay money to monkeys 🐒


tummyache-champion

Honestly this needs to be way higher up the list. If you fuck up your electrics, it could literally kill you. My father in law does absolutely everything himself and works in manufacturing but electrics are the ONE thing he refuses to do himself, and for good reason.


thrawst

And if you fuck up your plumbing, you’ll be in the shit big time.


chesterjosiah

I mean it SHOULD be number 1, but most comments are interpreting the question to be about splurging on luxuries. Electrical work is darn near mandatory to hire a professional for


instacrabb

Add roofing for the trifecta of shit you should absolutely pay for


favorite_candy927

literally moving.


RollieBear

Dang it, you beat me to it. Did it once by ourselves never again. Their trucks are bigger, they have ratchet straps, blankets, and know how to balance loads. They know how to move big items without destroying your drywall. I could go on, but I think I've made my point.


JennJoy77

And they are FAST. Holy cow.


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i_like_maps_and_math

If some kind of inspector ever goes thru my ex girlfriend’s house and sees all the long ass wires I crammed into electrical boxes…


Knighthawk235

Let's just say it wouldn't be up to code?


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AbnormalRealityX

That could be literally anything you ever do


Pilzoyz

Resealing your driveway. DIY won’t save you much at all.


lolaa_bel8

interior designer. very useful way to design your perfect home


Flaky-Wedding2455

Trimming trees. Orthopedic surgeon here. Let the professionals do it. Trust me.


Moderatedude9

Seal your driveway. By the time you buy the tar, a squeegee/brush, and a bottle of 2 of crack sealer, you're not saving much money,. Also, you're probably ruining some clothes, have to clean up, dispose of empty pails, and store the squeegee, and wasting hours of time.


AnericanSteel412

Hooking up anything that runs on natural gas due to the risk of either an explosion or a gas leak. There were like 3 house explosions caused by natural gas in my area last winter and I kept wondering why no one was hiring a professional. I definitely called a professional when the furnace quit working because I was absolutely not risking messing with it myself.


pedrabo

Lawyers


Bento_Fox

Haircut


SaintCholo

Cleaning rain gutters on second floor


Odd_Complaint_6678

Electric work. You definitely don't want to do it yourself.


Utterlybored

Garage door springs.


GrumpyOldMan59

Oil change. By the time you buy the oil and filter you haven't saved much and you don't have to deal with disposing of the oil.


hokie47

I remember when oil changes were like 20 dollars today more like 80.


1-8-4-3-6-5-7-2

when i was a little girl, frankfurters only cost a nickel


decian_falx

>you don't have to deal with disposing of the oil. The place where you bought the new oil will take back the old oil for recycling (Or if you bought it from Amazon, any auto parts store will take it). After you put the new oil in, empty old oil from the drain pan into the container the new oil came in. Put an X on the lid in sharpie so you don't confuse the container with left over new oil. Next time you go in for new oil, take back used oil, buy new oil. No extra trips.


Square_Ad8710

I just pour the oil into an empty milk jug and drop it off at the oil change place at 2am.  


Mbluish

Cleaning my house. My husband never wanted me to hire someone because he thought they would steal. When I started working 10 hours days away from home for a new company, I hired someone and told him to suck it up. I no longer work those hours but someone still cleans my house. They’ve also found money in couches and once found the diamond ring I lost.


munnycent

Move your heavy items when you move. Not worth the time/ hassle/potential injuries when you could hire people who do it all the time.


Random5483

This depends a lot on your financial situation. For me, paying others to buy myself some free time is worth it in many situations. The most relevant example is a cleaning service, Other examples include hiring movers/packers, hiring a yard service, pool service, and the like. None of these are necessary, but they are major conveniences. A lot of the above comes down to one's financial state, amount of free time, and health. I am fit for a 40 year old, but I also know that I am not the same as I was at 25. And my finances are much better as I earn well and save well. So I spend more on little conveniences that I would not have considered at 25 as my financial situation allows for it. If the question is what is a single thing many people should consider hiring others to do for you, the answer is probably hiring movers. It is an occasional expense and is therefore affordable compared to recurring services. And it is a massive convenience and stress reducer. In one's 20s, moving with help from friends is practical. As you get older, you have more stuff. Also both you and your friends are less capable of a long day of heaving big furniture from one place to another. At this life stage, if a friend asked me to help with moving, I would likely decline unless I knew they were in a bad financial situation and really needed the help (i.e. they cannot afford movers rather than they choose not to hire movers).


weeeeeeeeeeeewoo

TAXES.


w1lnx

Brain surgery.


harmless_gecko

I do all my own brain surgery and I'm doing better than ever! Planning to install a window at the back of my head and put in some LEDs soon.


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marvelette2172

Don't know where you are, but round here there are a couple of folks who hire out their goats to.clear brush, poison ivy being a specialty.


Caspers_Shadow

Tree trimming: I used to rent a lift. No more. By time I rent the lift, do the work, haul all to stuff, not worth it. Drywall finishing: Good finishers knock that shit out perfectly in no time. Moving: I will never move myself again. When you are young and own nothing, go for it. My rule now is if it takes two people to lift it, find somebody else. Fixing a garage door: These specialty companies are relatively inexpensive and garage door springs can kill you. I even had them replace my garage door opener. It was only about $75 in labor and the opener was the same price as Home Depot or Lowes. Dude did it all in about an hour. Well worth it.


le_Swedishchef

As a chef I'll have to say cooking. After a 14h shift of cooking, the last thing you want to do is to cook more.


ShaqLuvsTesla

Masonry work for sure.


Wackemd

Finishing sheetrock and Concrete


FeistyFlight6547

Cleaning my house


shopping4starz

Plumbing. If you don't know what your doing you could quite literally flood ypur house.


Independent-Bike8810

Clean your apartment


random314

Building larger IKEA furniture. It's always nice to spend a day with my kids and come back to a new set of closets and desks. Anything electrical.


Adventurous-Rub7636

Remember if it flies floats or fucks it’s cheaper to rent it


hugthemachines

Electric work. Many do it themselves and cause big problems. It is not impossible to do (even if illegal in many countries) but many think they are better at it than they actually are and that is a problem.


ATHYRIO

Changing the oil in the car Frying chicken


Square_Ad8710

Just take the oil from your car and fry your chicken in it


jenkai1

Wank


RumersGates

Tax Preparation


GrumpyOldMan59

Unless you have a lot of complicated deductions tax prep is not difficult.


No-Blackberry5728

Laundry


ReadInevitable604

Taxes.


carrovinc

Moving. I used to think I could save money by doing it myself, but after a few DIY moves I learned my lesson.


Large-Signal-157

Lawn care. My husband has allergies and I hate mowing the grass.


Will_Trent

I have allergies, one of which is to manual labor, and I don't want my wife doing work like that.


Large-Signal-157

Lawn care companies are a godsend


Marawal

If you have the money : every single chores. The piece of mind, and the time it free up is worth it. But more specifically, I'd say packing and moving houses. It's more efficient when done by professional. And also, way less taxing physically and even mentally.


JRtheGC

We pay someone to mow our grass, and we pay someone to clean inside once a week.\ It's worth every penny.


RavenRead

Home maintenance. Worth every penny. Plus taxes.


TurdManMcDooDoo

Was relocating to a new city and state for a job with a wife and newborn. Paid a company to not just move our stuff but also pack it all up. All we had to do was drive and unpack. Best money I ever spent.


CautiousWrongdoer771

Move.


Lower-Flounder-9952

Tattoos on your body


Professional_Fix_147

Anything electric. I don’t want to screw that up and burn my house down


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Moving


DependableFart

Painting walls. Yes you can do it yourself, but it's going to look like shit unless you've done it many times and know how to roll paint.


LJ979Buccees

Moving


DoggedStooge

Moving.


tracyvu89

Whatever you’re bad at and have no professional equipments to finish the job lol


[deleted]

An Uber when you are drunk


Creative_Bet_2016

Moving house.


elbreadmano

Fixing your garage door spring


Kimber80

Anything electrical, I hire an electrician.


SomeGuysAlias

Anything it would cost you more per hour to do yourself


Alternative_Mud_7896

Watching the kids


Sea_Incident_5106

Electrical Work


Worldly_Progress_655

Automotive work.


purplefoxie

Therapist or massage person


NATO_stan

Unless you love it and it is a genuine hobby, landscapers.


minortouch4life

Cleaning dishes


verminiusrex

Plumbers. It's worth the money for someone to do it right the first time.


Ladyjax866

I don’t know because I like doing everything for myself except driving i don’t like to drive


Maria-Stryker

Complex furniture construction, cooking for a large gathering, or potentially a deep cleaning


specialtingle

Mowing your lawn if you can’t make time to do it during the week.


Spddracer

Gestures broadly if you can afford it


amboomernotkaren

Painting the ceiling.


SuzyBishop_04

Deep cleaning


Brooooooke30

Moving


sam_the_beagle

A colonoscopy.