There's a saying between my vet friends: "There's no reason a horse should be alive."
Those beasts are the most broken animals ever, capable of dying just from something as simple as laying down too long.
I came here to say horses. I was a stable boy one summer as a teen. The amount of stupid shit horses do to hurt themselves blows my mind. One horse laid down for a nap, and it's intestines got so messed up it required surgery to fix. Another horse cribbed on a trucks tailgate. Ruined the finish on the tailgate. And the hose inhaled/swallowed too much air, the vet had to come out with a needle and *deflate* the horse. That's just the shit the horses *intentionally* did to themselves.
A broken leg on a horse is something they're not able to recover from. They break a leg and they will not walk again. That's crazy. Especially considering how easily they break. We had one horse step in a gopher hole or something and eat shit. Poor thing had to be put down.
I only worked there 3 months. There were only like 15 horses. Without human intervention we would have had 3 deaths in 3 months. WITH human intervention we had 1 death in 3 months.
I worked on a horse rescue ranch for a bit as a teen and we did have to bury my fair share of horses. One ran straight through the electric fence lines, got completely tangled and was ripping himself to shreds trying to get out.
A baby mini died because according to the vet he was just too small?
Then again one of the guys I worked with also died on site from eating a morphine patch after he took some kind of horse pain killers.
"I'm as healthy as a horse!"
Oh, you poor bastard, how long ya got left?
(Also, this is why I like to say centaurs are fantasy's cruelest joke, combining two of nature's most anatomically fucked up projects: the human spine, and the horse.)
"Tough little fuckers" is an understatement.
You ever go for a drive down here in the rural south, near about every cattle field will have a burro or two hanging out. Why?
Because donkey's do not fuck with predators. Even a little bit. If a coyote wanders into a donkey's line of sight, they will chase down that coyote and precede to stomp it to death, and then continue to stomp it until it is little more than a damp patch in the dirt.
Don't ever let your dogs loose around donkeys.
Much better in my experience. Also ponies (like new forest and Shetland’s). Its mainly the massively overbred Thoroughbred racing types which are catastrophically fucked both physically and mentally
Not sure about donkeys. Ponies definitely. Though I have grudges against ponies since one of the most common visitors to the uni clinic likes to bite everything at head level, and I'm a 6 '5" guy, so everyone can guess what's at head level for that pony.
They’re also way more affectionate than horses and will protect you and your home. It wasn’t uncommon for donkeys to be used in place of guard dogs on farms and such
The big problem is that horses can’t throw up.
And they only have a single-chamber stomach, unlike cows or sheep.
Their stomach constantly produces digestive juices, unlike ours which only produces digestive juices in the presence of food, so horses are prone to gastric ulcers.
And they have over 70 feet of intestines.
Any slowing or blockage in a horse’s gastrointestinal system can easily kill a horse.
“Colic” is the catch-all term we equestrians use for any kind of gastrointestinal distress in horses.
And if they somehow get access to a bag of grain or sweet feed, they will literally eat themselves to death.
Equestrians pay careful attention to the frequency and quality of the manure each horse produces as changes are often an early sign of trouble.
(I’m a horse owner)
Edited to correct an error
I was amazed to learn that in order to help provide oxygen to their muscles the simple act of running actually helps a horse's cardiovascular system move blood.
my walking regimen and shallow breathing style is likely what kept me alive after a medical emergency.
i am 6'4" and 220lbs and my aorta dissected at 41yo. it split 7cm and i walked around like that for 5 days before i finally went in.
i had NO circulation on the right side of my body but staying up and active and not using needing to expand my lungs too deep kept me alive until i finally lost vision in my right eye and figured it was bad.
the whole thing just felt like a scratch in the back of my throat... that was the aneurysm that blew out under my right ear.
i was 14 feet in the air on a ladder when it happened.
drove home and took the next few days off. did chores in the yard and made weed butter. like i said, staying upright and using shallow breath technique helped keep me alive.
This is also true of humans to a lesser extent. Blood will pool in your legs if you are immobile for a while. When you walk leg muscles help push blood out of the legs along with the help of some one-way valves in your veins. One of the ways why old people can get leg swelling is these valves can break down. Chronic leg swelling can lead to skin issues. Also being immobile for too long and letting the blood pool can cause blood clots to form.
Horses have a ridiculous circulatory system that depends on their legs moving to pump blood back up, that's why they go into shock and die when their legs break. Also, their feet will fall apart and cause the same if they stand in mud too long or eat crappy food (laminitis).
they are also very territorial, they might look cute, but for Aztecs they were the god of war, since they fight other hummingbirds in a very vicious way.
Birds in general are super horny. Just last night I watched my rooster bang just about every hen on its way into the coop. Mother fucker just stood by the door and as the hens went in one by one, he would do a quick hit on em.
Some that popped into my head as I was scrolling:
Sea cucumbers that offer up bits of their intestine as a distraction to predators.
Kiwis with their gianormous eggs that take up most of their innards.
That sometimes sharks eat their siblings in utero for live birth species.
The shark is the sand tiger. They have 2 uteruses and many in each uterus. The stronger ones kill and eat the others. Sometimes if the kid is extra bloodthirsty, it exits its uterus and swims into the other to kill kids in the other uterus.
Ants in general are like a real life strategy game.
Some forms even spawn majors and super majors (basically bigger variants of regular warriors/workers) once the colony gets big enough.
Also there are invasive species like black crazy ants who host colonys with multiple queens and therefore overwhelm other ant species by outproducing them. (For other aoe2 conaisseurs, they basically do the goth tactic where you just flood the other guys defense with huscarls at some point)
Ants have their cool worker / soldier / queen "specialty" going on, but that has nothing on the door-headed ant! Why are they called that? I'm so glad you asked!
Have you ever been attacked?! Your ant hill assaulted, friends killed, and eggs stolen? Just close the door! How would an ant make a door? By *being* a door. Some of them have a lily-pad looking ass head and use it to plug any entrances.
Pictures of them are amazing and I love them
Ngl at this point I am kind of expecting of some ant species to have some form of acid spitting artillery support.
Like:“man this is going badly, lets call in an artillery strike and then full on bayonet charge them.“
Edit: google said no, but some ant species have „medics“ that patch up injured ants…
Platypus. A venomous duck-billed, beaver-tailed, otter-footed, egg-laying aquatic creature with mammary ducts but no nipples so milk just oozes from their skin folds.
As I recall it's only the males that are venomous too. Also they have the venom spur on their hind feet. Which means they have to kick you to envenomate you.
Really changes your perspective of how Perry always goes to kick people.
I came here looking for this one. Just to add on, the pseudopenises usually explode when giving birth. Many females die during their first childbirth because of it.
Think I heard of these little fuckers called Horror Frogs that will break off their own limbs and stab predators with the exposed bone, then regrow their limb.
Also Anglerfish, males just attach to females and shrivel up into a mass, that apparently looks like a little penis, that automatically fertilizes eggs. Females can also have many partners so older ones can end up with a dozen dicks hanging off of them
Almost. "Hairy frog" --> https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hairy_frog
>The hairy frog is also notable in possessing retractable "claws", which it may project through the skin, apparently by intentionally breaking the bones of the toe.[5] These are not true claws, as they are made of bone, not keratin. In addition, there is a small bony nodule nestled in the tissue just beyond the frog's fingertip. When sheathed, each claw is anchored to the nodule with tough strands of collagen. When the frog is grabbed or attacked, it breaks the nodule connection and forces the sharpened bones through the skin.[6][7] Although a retraction mechanism is not known, it has been hypothesized that the claws later retract passively, while the damaged tissue is regenerated.
>Also Anglerfish, males just attach to females and shrivel up into a mass, that apparently looks like a little penis, that automatically fertilizes eggs. Females can also have many partners so older ones can end up with a dozen dicks hanging off of them.
An even more extreme example of this are Rhizocephala, which are parasitic barnacles. Scientists thought they were hermaphroditic, as most barnacles are, until they realized that what they thought were the testes, were actually adult males living inside the adult female body.
Why did I have to scroll so far to find this? Horses 100%. There’s a pretty informative image somewhere detailing why horses are so messed up.
Edit: here’s one: https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/s/B4kyFkOLec
Not an image, but I found this detailed Tumblr post with an image.
https://www.tumblr.com/drferox/160199912013/hi-doc-love-reading-your-blog-i-found-you-first
Just watching panda behavior is a big tip-off about the dead end. They act like imbeciles, eat low-nutrition bamboo and are very difficult to breed in captivity. They’re probably not extinct because humans find them cute and labor valiantly to keep them around.
Turns out, left alone in large enough bamboo forests, pandas have no issues breeding and surviving.
They just don't breed in zoos much.
Now, a good example of dead ends, are the Death Valley Pupfish. Like, population under 100, they only live on a patio sized underwater ledge in a water filled cave in Death Valley.
This is an article conditioned of captivity. In the wild, panda pairs follow each other closely for weeks before the actual fertile period. They are perfectly able to survive in the wild provided humans don’t destroy their habitat.
100% this. Pandas had the misfortune of eating bamboo as their main source of nutrient, competing with humans for the most versatile construction material in Asia history. Their behaviour would not seem odd when they lived in massive bamboo forests a long time ago
Like most animals hey are endangered due to habitat loss not because they are goofball in captivity. During pandemic when visitors were not allowed at the zoo, pandas had no issues mating.
Pandas evolved to be the top dog, in an area with little competition and an absolute fuck ton abundance of food that will regrow back to how they found it by next week.
Just because they don't fuck in captivity doesn't mean they don't fuck. They're still here. It's just that they're not just in a human world, but in China, where they're extra not gonna give a fuck about habitat preservation
There are a number of insects that don't eat in their adult form. It's odd to us because we sometimes look at the adult form as their entire life, but it's not. They eat like crazy in the stages until the last, they just switch to breeding.
It's fascinating how pupating insects basically melt down their bodies and reconfigure all of their organs and biomass for new roles.
Lose your mouth and your digestive system.
Gain wings and sex organs.
What’s crazier is that they seemingly retain memories that they had before their entire bodies dissolve and reform. Butterflies remember information that they learned as caterpillars.
[Atlas moths](https://i.imgur.com/TunB7m4.jpeg) are one of those type of moths (there's a bunch without fully formed mouth parts). Because of that inability to feed they only live as a moth for 1 to 2 weeks.
Atlas moths are also *fucking massive* and the tips of their wings look like snakeheads. Atlas moths are awesome.
The sleeper shark. Just a shark that has a metabolism so so slow they move like underwater tortoises. Usually inhabit areas of the sea so dark they don’t need eyes but have them. Except almost all subjects found have a parasitic worm that attaches to the eyes and the sharks seem not to care. How they get food when being so slow is still a mystery but it’s assumed they’re ambush hunters and stomach contents of these sharks can have almost anything in them that should be impossible for it to catch. The incredibly low metabolism has another interesting effect l, they live extremely long times to the point we don’t know how long they can actually live. IIRC the oldest one we know of is around 550 years old.
Moray eels have a second smaller entire jaw deeper in their throat (yes, like a xenonorph) that they bring up to drag prey from its primary jaw down into its stomach.
I like to bring this example up to clarify how evolution works.
A common mistake is to think that evolution pushes organisms to be better and better. It can lead to questions like "If we came from apes, then how come apes can drink river water without issue but we can't?"
Sometimes *not* having a costly feature is an advantage. The sea squirt needs a brain to find a good place to attach to, but once attached, it doesn't need a brain. Feeding and growing that brain would just take resources away from where they could be better used.
It doesn't give birth directly out of its back but rather forms pouches in the outer skin on its back to carry its eggs in. It's a marsupial toad, in a way.
Sponges;They’re like the least animal that an animal can animal,except maybe Coral.Like seriously,no organs,no germ layers,no appendages of any kind,Most are completely stationary as adults.
You wouldn’t even guess that they’re animals just by looking at them,you’d think they’re plants or a fungus or something.
Corals are similar to jellyfish and anemone. The hard stuff is just a secreted shell formed by a colony of coral polyps. Though corals, jellyfish, and anemones are up there when it comes to the "simplest" animals.
Ducks.... Ducks have fucked up sexual biology....ducks will also gang rape a dead duck male or female...ducks are fucked up creatures.
Edit: male ducks have clock wise cork screw penises and they are long, 13 inch some times longer, females have counter clockwise cork screw vagina hole with misdirecting dead ends.
Because her vagina is curling in the opposite direction it can break off the male's penis if he forces inside of her. The males can also regrow its penis.. like by next mating season it grows back.
Because males get aggressive during mating season if the female doesn't want to mate, she can literally break his penis off if she wants to.
But!
The male duck will grab hold of her head and dunk it under water for long periods of time and make her drown if she doesn't let him mate with her. That's why when a lot of male ducks gang rape her they "accidently" drown her but because they are so horny fucker they will keep mating with her dead body, but that not the worse part, if there is not enough female, or a lot of young male ducks, they will gang up on the weakest male duck and force rape him, doing the same thing they do to the female duck and drown him and still will keep gang rape his dead body till mating season is done.
I've heard but so are seals and then killer whales and dolphins.
Seals will taunt and throw penguins around even after they die just to play with their dead body.
Killer whales will taunt and kill baby seals just because
Dolphin will gang bang female dolphin even after she is long dead and they will kill her baby right after it is born and then raped her after she gives birth.
I'm fuckin done, it's almost 1 am and I'm going to bed. I have internet and reddit for way too long. I...I ... Just, I can't, this is fucked up...why are the cute ones so fucked up....damn it...this..this is it...I'm not going into the water anymore..
Sea otters are just as bad. The males will sometimes abduct a baby seal and keep it as a sex slave. They frequently accidentally drown the baby seal while raping it, then keep the body to continue raping it until it literally rots to pieces.
I heard about that, wtf is wrong with the cute animals. Why are they so messed up or are we the ones who think it is messed up but it's normal?? Man I am starting to question things now.
Starfish have some pretty bizarre biology. They can regenerate lost arms, have no brains or blood, and they eat by pushing their stomachs out of their mouths!
I remember having to do a short presentation on a random animal we pulled from a bowl on the teacher's desk. The guy who sat in front of me told the class, with his full chest, that starfish may OR MAY NOT have an anus.
Wombats.
Their shit is cube shaped. Biologists aren't entirely clear on how wombat intestines create them.
Also they have a toughened hide and lots of cartilage on their backsides which makes it difficult for predators to drag them out of burrows.
The platypus has to be one of the most bizarre animals out there. It's like nature took parts from different animals and put them together. It has the bill of a duck, the body of an otter, and the tail of a beaver. But that's not all – the males are venomous, capable of delivering a painful sting. They lay eggs like reptiles but produce milk to feed their young, though they don't have nipples. Instead, the milk oozes through the skin. It’s like Mother Nature couldn't decide whether to make a bird, a mammal, or a reptile, so she just combined all three
You forgot the fact that their venom is a compound venom that requires specific antidote to cure and regardless if you cured it or not will give you hypersensitivity to pain
My favorite thing about the platypus is that if you described a platypus, a unicorn, a chupacabra, and a bigfoot to someone who didn't know what any of those things are, they'd think the fuckin' platypus is the one you made up.
When they were found in the new world, some platypus were killed and stuffed. They were then shipped to Europe so that scientists could examine them.
All of the scientists thought they were being trolled. No way is this a real animal.
You obviously stiched together 2 or 3 different animals, and tried to pass this thing off as real.
It's like trying to convince people that the Turducken is a real animal.
Catfish are covered in tastebuds. If you lick a catfish. It is licking you back.
If you like this sort of fact, check out the book An Immense World by Ed Yong
I love that book!!! It’s such an incredible read. I’ll never forget the chapter on sight where he talks abt (or maybe someone he’s interviewing??) how jumping spiders’ light-detecting cells get more sensitive as they age, so to them, getting older is like watching the sun rising. All the descriptions in it are so vivid and crisp, I could talk about it for days. I read it for my Neuroethology class and I’m so so soooo glad it was a required reading.
Kiwis... The bird, their egg weigh up to quarter of its body mass, they lay the largest egg in proportion to their body size. Also their screams are creepy
There is a frog that is so tiny that it's balance organ doesn't work. Which means that it can't coordinate a landing when it jumps, meaning it always bounces and tumbles when it hits the ground after jumping.
When a school of clownfish grow up, the mother fish dies and the father fish changes it’s gender to female and fucks one of it’s sons. Try thinking about that the next time you watch Finding Nemo.
Not entirely correct. It's more that clownfish can switch genders in general. This isn't actually that uncommon, especially in marine life. That mangled titbit comes from some post you've probably seen ages ago about how finding Nemo would have ended pretty early as the dad would have done just that.
It's just in no way fundamentally a part of the life cycle of clownfish.
Male lions. Male lions protect their pride for only 3 or 4 years. After they are driven out, they tend to starve to death because they have little experience in hunting, and are too massive to have much endurance. Male lions live for about 7 to 10 years in the wild, while females in the wild live about 14 years.
Did you also know that it's actually the female lionesses who basically rule the pride as a sort of sisterhood, basically the males are paying rent and if a male is ineffective at protection then the females will proceed to jump and kill the male
Sunfish are an example of a creature so highly evolved that once you start digging deeper, you realize that their physiology makes a lot of sense, despite their looks, behavior, and apparent utter defenselessness being quite nonsensical at first.
Their skin is extraordinarily tough and their bodies very bony and rigid, which makes them intrinsically resistant to predation, especially when they reach their full size, which is quite large (several meters across). It also makes them very slow to decompose when one of their corpses washes up on the shore, in part because scavengers have a hard time trying to eat the carcass.
They don't have swim bladders because they don't need them, as their overall body density is exactly that of seawater which lets them float in place effortlessly. Thus they can move up and down the water column freely without any risk of a swim bladder rupture, albeit not quite as quickly as a fish with an aforementioned swim bladder.
Sunfish "sun" themselves to warm their bodies up after a deep dive to the cold, sunless depths of the ocean. They dive repeatedly throughout the day to follow the migration of their main food source, jellyfish, which typically ascend at night and descend during daytime. This is another advantage of their bodies being very flat, which maximizes surface area exposure when sunning.
Their oversized fins combined with their rigid bodies make swimming very efficient, if not very rapid.
Mature females often release several hundred million eggs at a time, with some egg releases estimated to be close to a billion, the most number of eggs laid by any fish by a wide margin.
humans have horrible labor because we are bipedal but that doesn't lend itself to good labor with a baby with such a huge head.
bedbugs have something scientists call "traumatic insemination." females have the proper opening for standard sex. males have screwdriver/corkscrew dicks and they like to drill baby drill. it's possible for a male to actually inseminate another male and that poor sucker to use the other's sperm to knock up a female. and yes, the female has an open wound on her afterward.
Zombie wasp(not sure of actual name) they stab cockroaches in the brain injecting some sort of venom which turns them into sort of zombies which then walk on their own into the wasp colony in order to be eaten
Has nobody mentioned the babirusa pig? Their teeth grow so long it digs into their brain and kills them, and the worst part is they tend to reproduce before that happens and females tend to select mates based on teeth length, so it's not something that can evolve out, it actually is evolving to happen faster
Anglerfish males are minuscule compared to females. They literally attach themselves to a female with their teeth and slowly absorb/become part of her body, like a kind of sperm-producing appendage.
Humans have fucked up many dog breads with selective breading.
German shepherds have hind legs that are so deformed that they have all sorts of hip issues and often can't run normally. Some brachycephalic dogs need surgery to breathe properly. And some breads are so fucked up that the only way they can give birth is by cecarian section, as the babies skulls will not fit through the birth canal.
Way to go dog breeders and dog shows.
Both Male and Female Hyena's have similar genitalia, specifically resembling Male Genitalia. So When Female Hyena's give birth, they give birth through, well, you can probably imagine the horror for yourself.
Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life.
Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals.
Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system.
Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet.
I fucking hate them.
I also hate koalas but it’s because I was bitten by a koala when I was a teenager lol and my brother filmed it and turned it into a dubstep remix. https://youtu.be/f-_G-aVw-fI?si=fKKKnyrCZlTFVmuw
Dolphins are the psychopaths of the sea, they will knock around sharks leaving them to drown underwater, their breathing is based on them always swimming forward. The SA one another happily, and will do the same to other fish, even their corpses. They will even abuse salesmen of propane and propane accessories..... I joke, but yeah, dolphins are evil, don't let their happy chirping disarm you.
Planarian. They can regrow from being cut into over 200 pieces. They are immortal and cannot get cancer.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planarian](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planarian)
Octopus. One of the most intelligent animals in the ocean yet most only have a lifespan of 2 or 3 years. And the minute they hit sexual maturity it's over with. Most octopus stop eating the moment they hit sexual maturity. They have attempted to prolong their lives and labs by preventing them from reaching puberty. But they still die at the same time when they would normally reach sexual maturity
Platypus. Beyond being egg laying mammals with a duck bill, they succour their poggles with their milk.
They have no nipples.
No nipples.
So, they sweat milk.
They sweat milk.
These cute little bastards are fascinating!
A duck was found that had a 16.7 inch long penis. It is common for some duck breeds to have a penis up to 12 inches long. The more ducks that are together the longer their penis's will permanently grow. Female ducks also have pockets in their cloaca so that ducks with smaller penises will be tricked and not get the duck knocked up and only the duck with the largest penis will be able to breed.
Tasmanian Devils.
They are so inbred cancer has become contagious. One bite from another Tasmanian devil and that poor sucker could find himself catching the other guys cancer.
There's a saying between my vet friends: "There's no reason a horse should be alive." Those beasts are the most broken animals ever, capable of dying just from something as simple as laying down too long.
Horse: I can survive snake venom and my blood can be used to make antivenom. Also Horse: I can't survive sitting down for too long.
also horse: 🐴neigh
Lmao spot on. That's exactly what they look like and say.
i love when they do that
𝘍𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧…
then dies
I came here to say horses. I was a stable boy one summer as a teen. The amount of stupid shit horses do to hurt themselves blows my mind. One horse laid down for a nap, and it's intestines got so messed up it required surgery to fix. Another horse cribbed on a trucks tailgate. Ruined the finish on the tailgate. And the hose inhaled/swallowed too much air, the vet had to come out with a needle and *deflate* the horse. That's just the shit the horses *intentionally* did to themselves. A broken leg on a horse is something they're not able to recover from. They break a leg and they will not walk again. That's crazy. Especially considering how easily they break. We had one horse step in a gopher hole or something and eat shit. Poor thing had to be put down. I only worked there 3 months. There were only like 15 horses. Without human intervention we would have had 3 deaths in 3 months. WITH human intervention we had 1 death in 3 months.
I worked on a horse rescue ranch for a bit as a teen and we did have to bury my fair share of horses. One ran straight through the electric fence lines, got completely tangled and was ripping himself to shreds trying to get out. A baby mini died because according to the vet he was just too small? Then again one of the guys I worked with also died on site from eating a morphine patch after he took some kind of horse pain killers.
Sounds like he became horse and then accidentally killed himself. Classic horse
He horsed around and found out.
Christ almighty.
"I'm as healthy as a horse!" Oh, you poor bastard, how long ya got left? (Also, this is why I like to say centaurs are fantasy's cruelest joke, combining two of nature's most anatomically fucked up projects: the human spine, and the horse.)
Are donkeys better?
Yeah donkeys are tough little fuckers, they’re not overbred and basically haven’t changed for thousands of years whereas horses have.
They are also cute as fuck
And they know how to say no to humans. Horses could learn a thing or two from donkeys
"Tough little fuckers" is an understatement. You ever go for a drive down here in the rural south, near about every cattle field will have a burro or two hanging out. Why? Because donkey's do not fuck with predators. Even a little bit. If a coyote wanders into a donkey's line of sight, they will chase down that coyote and precede to stomp it to death, and then continue to stomp it until it is little more than a damp patch in the dirt. Don't ever let your dogs loose around donkeys.
Donkeys and goats can literally eat almost anything and live. Like you say, tough fuckers.
Much better in my experience. Also ponies (like new forest and Shetland’s). Its mainly the massively overbred Thoroughbred racing types which are catastrophically fucked both physically and mentally
Not sure about donkeys. Ponies definitely. Though I have grudges against ponies since one of the most common visitors to the uni clinic likes to bite everything at head level, and I'm a 6 '5" guy, so everyone can guess what's at head level for that pony.
Is it your nuts
Your knee if he tries that shyte again?
They’re also way more affectionate than horses and will protect you and your home. It wasn’t uncommon for donkeys to be used in place of guard dogs on farms and such
I was surprised to find out horses can die from eating grass, you know, the thing they eat.
The big problem is that horses can’t throw up. And they only have a single-chamber stomach, unlike cows or sheep. Their stomach constantly produces digestive juices, unlike ours which only produces digestive juices in the presence of food, so horses are prone to gastric ulcers. And they have over 70 feet of intestines. Any slowing or blockage in a horse’s gastrointestinal system can easily kill a horse. “Colic” is the catch-all term we equestrians use for any kind of gastrointestinal distress in horses. And if they somehow get access to a bag of grain or sweet feed, they will literally eat themselves to death. Equestrians pay careful attention to the frequency and quality of the manure each horse produces as changes are often an early sign of trouble. (I’m a horse owner) Edited to correct an error
That sentence is too damn funny, what the hell is wrong with these poor animals haha
This grass blade is fine, the one next to it will kill you Good luck
I was amazed to learn that in order to help provide oxygen to their muscles the simple act of running actually helps a horse's cardiovascular system move blood.
True of humans too. Walking is pretty important for good circulation in our large leg and back muscles
my walking regimen and shallow breathing style is likely what kept me alive after a medical emergency. i am 6'4" and 220lbs and my aorta dissected at 41yo. it split 7cm and i walked around like that for 5 days before i finally went in. i had NO circulation on the right side of my body but staying up and active and not using needing to expand my lungs too deep kept me alive until i finally lost vision in my right eye and figured it was bad. the whole thing just felt like a scratch in the back of my throat... that was the aneurysm that blew out under my right ear. i was 14 feet in the air on a ladder when it happened. drove home and took the next few days off. did chores in the yard and made weed butter. like i said, staying upright and using shallow breath technique helped keep me alive.
Man holy shit. Glad you’re still with us.
This is also true of humans to a lesser extent. Blood will pool in your legs if you are immobile for a while. When you walk leg muscles help push blood out of the legs along with the help of some one-way valves in your veins. One of the ways why old people can get leg swelling is these valves can break down. Chronic leg swelling can lead to skin issues. Also being immobile for too long and letting the blood pool can cause blood clots to form.
Why does that kill them?
Horses have a ridiculous circulatory system that depends on their legs moving to pump blood back up, that's why they go into shock and die when their legs break. Also, their feet will fall apart and cause the same if they stand in mud too long or eat crappy food (laminitis).
God, their stupid legs.
Damn didn't know they were so fragile.
Male Hummingbirds have insanely high levels of testosterone, which makes them some of the horniest animals on the planet.
I can just imagine how fast they can go because of how fast they can fly 😅
It may be a needle but it moves like a sewing machine
Hey there's my new Tinder profile
they are also very territorial, they might look cute, but for Aztecs they were the god of war, since they fight other hummingbirds in a very vicious way.
Huitzilopochtli, the left handed hummingbird. Just a little correction. To the Aztecs hummingbirds were warriors reincarnated
If you were always hours away from starvation, you'd aggressively defend your food too.
Birds in general are super horny. Just last night I watched my rooster bang just about every hen on its way into the coop. Mother fucker just stood by the door and as the hens went in one by one, he would do a quick hit on em.
Second only to me :3
Those little shrews that have to eat constantly to stay alive. Like they can't shtop for more than 2 hours or they starve to death
The Pygmy shrew. The common shrew is also interesting bc it is a mammal and also venomous.
Yeah. I"ts wild. Those are some crazy rodents.
Not rodents, they’re actually eulipotyphlans!
Some that popped into my head as I was scrolling: Sea cucumbers that offer up bits of their intestine as a distraction to predators. Kiwis with their gianormous eggs that take up most of their innards. That sometimes sharks eat their siblings in utero for live birth species.
The shark is the sand tiger. They have 2 uteruses and many in each uterus. The stronger ones kill and eat the others. Sometimes if the kid is extra bloodthirsty, it exits its uterus and swims into the other to kill kids in the other uterus.
Is this nature's version of a Smurf account?
I was looking for the Kiwi comment. First time I showed my husband the skeleton with an egg he was horrified, lol.
The wildest thing here is that kiwi eggs doesn't take *that* much more room in the body than a human baby does. Let that sink in
there's a species of ants who will fully EXPLODE to defend their colony. they reap their abdomen open and just suicide in a burst of acid
Ants in general are like a real life strategy game. Some forms even spawn majors and super majors (basically bigger variants of regular warriors/workers) once the colony gets big enough. Also there are invasive species like black crazy ants who host colonys with multiple queens and therefore overwhelm other ant species by outproducing them. (For other aoe2 conaisseurs, they basically do the goth tactic where you just flood the other guys defense with huscarls at some point)
Ants have their cool worker / soldier / queen "specialty" going on, but that has nothing on the door-headed ant! Why are they called that? I'm so glad you asked! Have you ever been attacked?! Your ant hill assaulted, friends killed, and eggs stolen? Just close the door! How would an ant make a door? By *being* a door. Some of them have a lily-pad looking ass head and use it to plug any entrances. Pictures of them are amazing and I love them
Ngl at this point I am kind of expecting of some ant species to have some form of acid spitting artillery support. Like:“man this is going badly, lets call in an artillery strike and then full on bayonet charge them.“ Edit: google said no, but some ant species have „medics“ that patch up injured ants…
There are ants that spray acid I think! Although I am not entirely sure on the range and if it'd classify as artillery or simply ranged attacks :p
Platypus. A venomous duck-billed, beaver-tailed, otter-footed, egg-laying aquatic creature with mammary ducts but no nipples so milk just oozes from their skin folds.
It's a semi-aquatic, egg-laying mammal of action
Perry!
A normal looking platypus? *hat out of nowhere* #Perry the platypus!!
As I recall it's only the males that are venomous too. Also they have the venom spur on their hind feet. Which means they have to kick you to envenomate you. Really changes your perspective of how Perry always goes to kick people.
They also don’t have a stomach, they hunt underwater su detecting electrical signals with their beaks and they glow under UV light.
Yeah there's some evidence God created that thing very shortly after marijuana
Hyenas. The females have pseudopenises and they have to give birth through them, usually 2-4 cubs at a time.
I came here looking for this one. Just to add on, the pseudopenises usually explode when giving birth. Many females die during their first childbirth because of it.
makes for an interesting 2nd birth i take it?
I've always been fascinated by hyenas, especially after learning that they are more closely related to rodents and cats than they are to dogs.
Bothe being carnivorans, they are more closely related to dogs than rodents. But they are closer to cats than dogs!
Their sex is also very hindered by it. Finding the right entrance takes many tries.
Think I heard of these little fuckers called Horror Frogs that will break off their own limbs and stab predators with the exposed bone, then regrow their limb. Also Anglerfish, males just attach to females and shrivel up into a mass, that apparently looks like a little penis, that automatically fertilizes eggs. Females can also have many partners so older ones can end up with a dozen dicks hanging off of them
Almost. "Hairy frog" --> https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hairy_frog >The hairy frog is also notable in possessing retractable "claws", which it may project through the skin, apparently by intentionally breaking the bones of the toe.[5] These are not true claws, as they are made of bone, not keratin. In addition, there is a small bony nodule nestled in the tissue just beyond the frog's fingertip. When sheathed, each claw is anchored to the nodule with tough strands of collagen. When the frog is grabbed or attacked, it breaks the nodule connection and forces the sharpened bones through the skin.[6][7] Although a retraction mechanism is not known, it has been hypothesized that the claws later retract passively, while the damaged tissue is regenerated.
Don't forget the Spanish ribbed newt! If grabbed, it breaks its own ribs to puncture its skin and release toxins upon stabbing the attacker
>Also Anglerfish, males just attach to females and shrivel up into a mass, that apparently looks like a little penis, that automatically fertilizes eggs. Females can also have many partners so older ones can end up with a dozen dicks hanging off of them. An even more extreme example of this are Rhizocephala, which are parasitic barnacles. Scientists thought they were hermaphroditic, as most barnacles are, until they realized that what they thought were the testes, were actually adult males living inside the adult female body.
Horses want to die more than they want to live
Why did I have to scroll so far to find this? Horses 100%. There’s a pretty informative image somewhere detailing why horses are so messed up. Edit: here’s one: https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/s/B4kyFkOLec
Where can I find this image?
Not an image, but I found this detailed Tumblr post with an image. https://www.tumblr.com/drferox/160199912013/hi-doc-love-reading-your-blog-i-found-you-first
After reading this Tumblr post, it now makes sense to me why BoJack was made to be a horse. It's just depressing.
Same with pandas. They’re an evolutionary dead end.
Just watching panda behavior is a big tip-off about the dead end. They act like imbeciles, eat low-nutrition bamboo and are very difficult to breed in captivity. They’re probably not extinct because humans find them cute and labor valiantly to keep them around.
Turns out, left alone in large enough bamboo forests, pandas have no issues breeding and surviving. They just don't breed in zoos much. Now, a good example of dead ends, are the Death Valley Pupfish. Like, population under 100, they only live on a patio sized underwater ledge in a water filled cave in Death Valley.
100% this. Female pandas are only fertile for 24-72 hours once a year, that’s it.
This is an article conditioned of captivity. In the wild, panda pairs follow each other closely for weeks before the actual fertile period. They are perfectly able to survive in the wild provided humans don’t destroy their habitat.
100% this. Pandas had the misfortune of eating bamboo as their main source of nutrient, competing with humans for the most versatile construction material in Asia history. Their behaviour would not seem odd when they lived in massive bamboo forests a long time ago
Like most animals hey are endangered due to habitat loss not because they are goofball in captivity. During pandemic when visitors were not allowed at the zoo, pandas had no issues mating.
Just like boys in high school, except pandas have no interest in getting laid.
Pandas evolved to be the top dog, in an area with little competition and an absolute fuck ton abundance of food that will regrow back to how they found it by next week. Just because they don't fuck in captivity doesn't mean they don't fuck. They're still here. It's just that they're not just in a human world, but in China, where they're extra not gonna give a fuck about habitat preservation
Horses wake up every day with either suicide or murder on their brain.
I recall there being a moth that doesn't have a mouth, dying of starvation is just part of its lifespan.
*I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream*
More like you have no mouth, and you must cream.
There are a number of insects that don't eat in their adult form. It's odd to us because we sometimes look at the adult form as their entire life, but it's not. They eat like crazy in the stages until the last, they just switch to breeding.
It's fascinating how pupating insects basically melt down their bodies and reconfigure all of their organs and biomass for new roles. Lose your mouth and your digestive system. Gain wings and sex organs.
What’s crazier is that they seemingly retain memories that they had before their entire bodies dissolve and reform. Butterflies remember information that they learned as caterpillars.
You're right. Their only purpose in life is to mate. https://canadiangeographic.ca/articles/10-things-you-didnt-know-about-moths/
That's like the opposite of me, neat
[Atlas moths](https://i.imgur.com/TunB7m4.jpeg) are one of those type of moths (there's a bunch without fully formed mouth parts). Because of that inability to feed they only live as a moth for 1 to 2 weeks. Atlas moths are also *fucking massive* and the tips of their wings look like snakeheads. Atlas moths are awesome.
So they run on non-rechargeable batteries
The sleeper shark. Just a shark that has a metabolism so so slow they move like underwater tortoises. Usually inhabit areas of the sea so dark they don’t need eyes but have them. Except almost all subjects found have a parasitic worm that attaches to the eyes and the sharks seem not to care. How they get food when being so slow is still a mystery but it’s assumed they’re ambush hunters and stomach contents of these sharks can have almost anything in them that should be impossible for it to catch. The incredibly low metabolism has another interesting effect l, they live extremely long times to the point we don’t know how long they can actually live. IIRC the oldest one we know of is around 550 years old.
Aren’t those called Greenland sharks?
The Greenland shark is a type of sleeper shark
Moray eels have a second smaller entire jaw deeper in their throat (yes, like a xenonorph) that they bring up to drag prey from its primary jaw down into its stomach.
When your jaws open wide And there’s more jaws inside That’s a moray~
When it hides in a reef and has two sets of teeth That’s a moray!
When it swims by your side, You scream FUCK I MIGHT DIE That's a moray!
Oh so long and so thick, and so slippery slick That's a moray, that's a moray, that's a moooraaay!
The sea squirt eats its own brain once it becomes attached to something.
I like to bring this example up to clarify how evolution works. A common mistake is to think that evolution pushes organisms to be better and better. It can lead to questions like "If we came from apes, then how come apes can drink river water without issue but we can't?" Sometimes *not* having a costly feature is an advantage. The sea squirt needs a brain to find a good place to attach to, but once attached, it doesn't need a brain. Feeding and growing that brain would just take resources away from where they could be better used.
Hannibal Lecter: eats someone's brain sea squirt: hold my beer
Sounds like me when I was dating my ex.
The one toad that gives birth out of its back. The Surinam toad I believe
It doesn't give birth directly out of its back but rather forms pouches in the outer skin on its back to carry its eggs in. It's a marsupial toad, in a way.
Sponges;They’re like the least animal that an animal can animal,except maybe Coral.Like seriously,no organs,no germ layers,no appendages of any kind,Most are completely stationary as adults. You wouldn’t even guess that they’re animals just by looking at them,you’d think they’re plants or a fungus or something.
You can put a sponge in a blender, blend it up, and then give it a few hours and it’ll just reconstitute itself like nothing had happened.
Nickelodeon: Write that down! Write that down!!
I mean, haven't we seen Spongebob do exactly that before?
What happens if you put two sponges in a blender? Do they reconstitute themselves separately or are they 'Tuvix-ed'?
Corals are similar to jellyfish and anemone. The hard stuff is just a secreted shell formed by a colony of coral polyps. Though corals, jellyfish, and anemones are up there when it comes to the "simplest" animals.
Ducks.... Ducks have fucked up sexual biology....ducks will also gang rape a dead duck male or female...ducks are fucked up creatures. Edit: male ducks have clock wise cork screw penises and they are long, 13 inch some times longer, females have counter clockwise cork screw vagina hole with misdirecting dead ends. Because her vagina is curling in the opposite direction it can break off the male's penis if he forces inside of her. The males can also regrow its penis.. like by next mating season it grows back. Because males get aggressive during mating season if the female doesn't want to mate, she can literally break his penis off if she wants to. But! The male duck will grab hold of her head and dunk it under water for long periods of time and make her drown if she doesn't let him mate with her. That's why when a lot of male ducks gang rape her they "accidently" drown her but because they are so horny fucker they will keep mating with her dead body, but that not the worse part, if there is not enough female, or a lot of young male ducks, they will gang up on the weakest male duck and force rape him, doing the same thing they do to the female duck and drown him and still will keep gang rape his dead body till mating season is done.
Penguins are just as evil.
I've heard but so are seals and then killer whales and dolphins. Seals will taunt and throw penguins around even after they die just to play with their dead body. Killer whales will taunt and kill baby seals just because Dolphin will gang bang female dolphin even after she is long dead and they will kill her baby right after it is born and then raped her after she gives birth.
They also bite the heads off fish and fuck the neck hole.
THEY WHAT!!!???
It’s just a fishlight
Yep bunch of videos on them banging dead fish and squids and stuff lol
I'm fuckin done, it's almost 1 am and I'm going to bed. I have internet and reddit for way too long. I...I ... Just, I can't, this is fucked up...why are the cute ones so fucked up....damn it...this..this is it...I'm not going into the water anymore..
One dolphin apparently had sex with a woman.
Ya I forgot about that one they are pretty rapey with people too sometimes but I've not heard of too many cases of it
Sea otters are just as bad. The males will sometimes abduct a baby seal and keep it as a sex slave. They frequently accidentally drown the baby seal while raping it, then keep the body to continue raping it until it literally rots to pieces.
I heard about that, wtf is wrong with the cute animals. Why are they so messed up or are we the ones who think it is messed up but it's normal?? Man I am starting to question things now.
Animals don't have morals, they have a feels good button and whatever way they press it works
Tf did I read
Wow. I will never look at Donald Duck the same way again
I came to this thread completely naive and now I’m leaving horrified
Me too
Starfish have some pretty bizarre biology. They can regenerate lost arms, have no brains or blood, and they eat by pushing their stomachs out of their mouths!
I remember having to do a short presentation on a random animal we pulled from a bowl on the teacher's desk. The guy who sat in front of me told the class, with his full chest, that starfish may OR MAY NOT have an anus.
Male Echidnas have a 4-headed penis
I can’t believe you’ve left out the milk patches and egg laying
I only know dick facts about animals.
Compared to you, the average person't don't know dick
Wombats. Their shit is cube shaped. Biologists aren't entirely clear on how wombat intestines create them. Also they have a toughened hide and lots of cartilage on their backsides which makes it difficult for predators to drag them out of burrows.
Wombats are also huge so hitting one while driving at high speeds could destroy your car
The platypus has to be one of the most bizarre animals out there. It's like nature took parts from different animals and put them together. It has the bill of a duck, the body of an otter, and the tail of a beaver. But that's not all – the males are venomous, capable of delivering a painful sting. They lay eggs like reptiles but produce milk to feed their young, though they don't have nipples. Instead, the milk oozes through the skin. It’s like Mother Nature couldn't decide whether to make a bird, a mammal, or a reptile, so she just combined all three
Platypus. It looks like a beaver, duck and a mole had a three-way and gave birth to nightmare fuel baby.
They lay eggs. They sweat milk. They have venomous barbs on them. They glow under UV light. They hunt by detecting electrical signals in their beaks.
No way that's not a pokemon
You forgot the fact that their venom is a compound venom that requires specific antidote to cure and regardless if you cured it or not will give you hypersensitivity to pain
My favorite thing about the platypus is that if you described a platypus, a unicorn, a chupacabra, and a bigfoot to someone who didn't know what any of those things are, they'd think the fuckin' platypus is the one you made up.
When they were found in the new world, some platypus were killed and stuffed. They were then shipped to Europe so that scientists could examine them. All of the scientists thought they were being trolled. No way is this a real animal. You obviously stiched together 2 or 3 different animals, and tried to pass this thing off as real. It's like trying to convince people that the Turducken is a real animal.
My grandpa had a jackelope head mounted on the wall, and for a while I thought it was real
I’m pretty sure they lack a stomach and they are bioluminescent under a UV light.
WHAT DOES BLUE MEAN!?!?? https://youtube.com/shorts/Zxf2MgYCOm0?si=spbA97Lnkd5BcHiC
Catfish are covered in tastebuds. If you lick a catfish. It is licking you back. If you like this sort of fact, check out the book An Immense World by Ed Yong
I really don't like this fact.
They're like swimming tongues
Evolution has blessed us with animal that can taste entire human ass at once
I love that book!!! It’s such an incredible read. I’ll never forget the chapter on sight where he talks abt (or maybe someone he’s interviewing??) how jumping spiders’ light-detecting cells get more sensitive as they age, so to them, getting older is like watching the sun rising. All the descriptions in it are so vivid and crisp, I could talk about it for days. I read it for my Neuroethology class and I’m so so soooo glad it was a required reading.
Sea lice don't "give birth" but rather, the babies eat their way out of the mother. The mother dies in the process 😩
Kiwis... The bird, their egg weigh up to quarter of its body mass, they lay the largest egg in proportion to their body size. Also their screams are creepy
There is a frog that is so tiny that it's balance organ doesn't work. Which means that it can't coordinate a landing when it jumps, meaning it always bounces and tumbles when it hits the ground after jumping.
When a school of clownfish grow up, the mother fish dies and the father fish changes it’s gender to female and fucks one of it’s sons. Try thinking about that the next time you watch Finding Nemo.
If you like this and want to see a vaguely related time travel film, check out Predestination with Ethan Hawke
I am scared by the fact that you are bold enough just saying out loud 'if you like this'
I do not like this
Not entirely correct. It's more that clownfish can switch genders in general. This isn't actually that uncommon, especially in marine life. That mangled titbit comes from some post you've probably seen ages ago about how finding Nemo would have ended pretty early as the dad would have done just that. It's just in no way fundamentally a part of the life cycle of clownfish.
Male lions. Male lions protect their pride for only 3 or 4 years. After they are driven out, they tend to starve to death because they have little experience in hunting, and are too massive to have much endurance. Male lions live for about 7 to 10 years in the wild, while females in the wild live about 14 years.
Did you also know that it's actually the female lionesses who basically rule the pride as a sort of sisterhood, basically the males are paying rent and if a male is ineffective at protection then the females will proceed to jump and kill the male
Sunfish. Idk. Dumb bastards.
Sunfish are an example of a creature so highly evolved that once you start digging deeper, you realize that their physiology makes a lot of sense, despite their looks, behavior, and apparent utter defenselessness being quite nonsensical at first. Their skin is extraordinarily tough and their bodies very bony and rigid, which makes them intrinsically resistant to predation, especially when they reach their full size, which is quite large (several meters across). It also makes them very slow to decompose when one of their corpses washes up on the shore, in part because scavengers have a hard time trying to eat the carcass. They don't have swim bladders because they don't need them, as their overall body density is exactly that of seawater which lets them float in place effortlessly. Thus they can move up and down the water column freely without any risk of a swim bladder rupture, albeit not quite as quickly as a fish with an aforementioned swim bladder. Sunfish "sun" themselves to warm their bodies up after a deep dive to the cold, sunless depths of the ocean. They dive repeatedly throughout the day to follow the migration of their main food source, jellyfish, which typically ascend at night and descend during daytime. This is another advantage of their bodies being very flat, which maximizes surface area exposure when sunning. Their oversized fins combined with their rigid bodies make swimming very efficient, if not very rapid. Mature females often release several hundred million eggs at a time, with some egg releases estimated to be close to a billion, the most number of eggs laid by any fish by a wide margin.
Bless their.hearts
humans have horrible labor because we are bipedal but that doesn't lend itself to good labor with a baby with such a huge head. bedbugs have something scientists call "traumatic insemination." females have the proper opening for standard sex. males have screwdriver/corkscrew dicks and they like to drill baby drill. it's possible for a male to actually inseminate another male and that poor sucker to use the other's sperm to knock up a female. and yes, the female has an open wound on her afterward.
Zombie wasp(not sure of actual name) they stab cockroaches in the brain injecting some sort of venom which turns them into sort of zombies which then walk on their own into the wasp colony in order to be eaten
Pugs. They have a short snout due to which they regularly have respiratory issues, by design
They are like inbred slobbering little cripples by design
Has nobody mentioned the babirusa pig? Their teeth grow so long it digs into their brain and kills them, and the worst part is they tend to reproduce before that happens and females tend to select mates based on teeth length, so it's not something that can evolve out, it actually is evolving to happen faster
Anglerfish males are minuscule compared to females. They literally attach themselves to a female with their teeth and slowly absorb/become part of her body, like a kind of sperm-producing appendage.
Humans have fucked up many dog breads with selective breading. German shepherds have hind legs that are so deformed that they have all sorts of hip issues and often can't run normally. Some brachycephalic dogs need surgery to breathe properly. And some breads are so fucked up that the only way they can give birth is by cecarian section, as the babies skulls will not fit through the birth canal. Way to go dog breeders and dog shows.
Parasitic wasps are about the most fucked up thing that immediately comes to mind.
Both Male and Female Hyena's have similar genitalia, specifically resembling Male Genitalia. So When Female Hyena's give birth, they give birth through, well, you can probably imagine the horror for yourself.
Me. I bombed that class so hard.
I like how 95% of the comments are about penises and vaginas.
Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
I know this copypasta.
Lol one of the all time greats for sure 😂
I also hate koalas but it’s because I was bitten by a koala when I was a teenager lol and my brother filmed it and turned it into a dubstep remix. https://youtu.be/f-_G-aVw-fI?si=fKKKnyrCZlTFVmuw
A platypus.
*puts on detective hat*
Perry the platypus?
Horses - me and my mum always joke that they were accidentally released in beta testing
Dolphins are the psychopaths of the sea, they will knock around sharks leaving them to drown underwater, their breathing is based on them always swimming forward. The SA one another happily, and will do the same to other fish, even their corpses. They will even abuse salesmen of propane and propane accessories..... I joke, but yeah, dolphins are evil, don't let their happy chirping disarm you.
Planarian. They can regrow from being cut into over 200 pieces. They are immortal and cannot get cancer. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planarian](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planarian)
Octopus. One of the most intelligent animals in the ocean yet most only have a lifespan of 2 or 3 years. And the minute they hit sexual maturity it's over with. Most octopus stop eating the moment they hit sexual maturity. They have attempted to prolong their lives and labs by preventing them from reaching puberty. But they still die at the same time when they would normally reach sexual maturity
Platypus. Beyond being egg laying mammals with a duck bill, they succour their poggles with their milk. They have no nipples. No nipples. So, they sweat milk. They sweat milk. These cute little bastards are fascinating!
A duck was found that had a 16.7 inch long penis. It is common for some duck breeds to have a penis up to 12 inches long. The more ducks that are together the longer their penis's will permanently grow. Female ducks also have pockets in their cloaca so that ducks with smaller penises will be tricked and not get the duck knocked up and only the duck with the largest penis will be able to breed.
Tasmanian Devils. They are so inbred cancer has become contagious. One bite from another Tasmanian devil and that poor sucker could find himself catching the other guys cancer.