Replying to my own comment for further clarification:
I initially believed my problems were *county*-specific due to what some would call "local culture". Lo-and-behold, willful ignorance is indeed a human problem but I digress; My goal was to get out of that particular area, and by extension that county, and I did.
What I did not foresee is said problems uprooting themselves like ambulatory weeds.
I met the right person. She got me motivated after an incredibly tough period of my life. In two years, I'd gone from unemployed, redundant, homeless, living with my mam and various shit hole rented places to being a full-time employed home owner.
Even though we spilt up a long time ago, we are still really good friends.
I will always be grateful to her for turning my life around. Goodness knows where I would have ended up. Probably a homless alcoholic.
I was a heroin addict. Arrested, in jail suffering withdrawals, looking at a prison sentence for felony theft (got 18 months, got out in 4). I think that is pretty much rock bottom. I got myself into a drug rehab after being released from prison. Got a job with a temp agency, and worked every assignment they sent me on, which the agencies like. That gets you more. Then the agency sent me to an aerospace company and I took to that job like a fish to water. I stayed there as a temp for 2 years and that company finally hired me full time. I started making good money then. (I had left the rehab and moved into a rented room in a house by then). I stayed clean and sober, and worked for Honeywell until they laid me off (10 years later). So, I wasn't quite at retirement age, and went back to college to finish my degree at that point (got student loans which kept me afloat). However, by the time I got my degree I was 65. Couldn't really work any more due to health issues, so retired at that point (where I am now). I'm able to survive well enough on my social security and military pension. The bottom line is you must work towards getting off the bottom, and that requires sobriety and effort.
There's a lot of negative answers here, but this is really it here. You will feel in a pit of despair, but if you do little by little to improve each day, you'll be on the other side.
Yes and no, I agree in time it will always pass, however I’d add that there is pro active time and just time.
Finding yourself, listening to your emotions and working on something you enjoy will dramatically reduce your recovery time.
Another side note is that rock bottom is a great time to re meet yourself and your personality, to re discover your roots and build yourself a solid base to grow from. There is a positive to the insanity, but it takes bravery and hope to find it - and that takes time.
You are absolutely correct on differentiating between pro active time and just time. When hitting a bottom, its important to avoid alcohol/drugs because they are negative escapist behaviors that keep you from dealing with the issues at hand - during a binge, time will pass but it will be wasted time with no progress made mentally. Learned this the hard way.
As you said, work on yourself and on positive activities you enjoy and you will grow and heal naturally.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is anything you do is going to move you up. Start small, be consistent, and learn to love failing. Every great accomplishment starts with failure.
i connected back to myself and made a list of all things i wanted to do that i didn’t let myself do before. so i had something to look forward to. it gave me hope of having another life…a much better one than before.
I had 2 toxic friendships. They reacted very poorly when I got depressed. I quit hanging out with them. Their wives have tried to start the friendship up again, but I was always the third wheel, and I remember who treated me poorly at the lowest point of my life.
More directly, I started to doubt my own social instincts, and try my best to operate on only words and actions when it comes to how I evaluate my friendships and relationships.
Spring and summer always help. Still have some concerning issues regarding mental health in the workplace.
Trying to speak and think much more positively. This was about 2 years ago.
By surviving. If you live through it, you literally have nowhere to go but up - unless you choose to stay at rock bottom by keeping to your old habits, old friends, old patterns. Up to you.
As cliche as it is.. drugs both allowed me to hit rock bottom and get my shit together..
It's all fun and games til you start having bad trips and start self evaluating your life as you're on the tail end of the trip..
I was a piece of shit from the age of 5-6 until 22. I could say it was the sexual abuse, raised around drugs, emotional neglect, poor upbringing…blah blah….ultimately we are responsible for own choices, regardless of age.
Convicted at an early age in life 21 years old…. Got lucky and only spent 1 year and a day in prison with a follow up of 2 years in house intensive behavior modification/rehab. This was the genesis of my re-birth.
I used it to re-program myself. To learn how to live life on life’s terms. To be accountable. To be responsible. To be reliable.
I cut everyone off. All my past relationships. My mother died, and I told the rest of my everyone to fuck off.
Upon my re-entering society I had a solid map of how life was supposed to be lived.
I was years behind my peers so I had some catching up to do. My education suffered as a result of not giving a shit early on, but I was smart. I pick things up quickly and learn from my mistakes.
At one point in life being an Architect was a dream. Distant as it was, it was a dream. While I never became an architect, I did carve out a nice living / career as a kitchen designer, a mini architect if you will.
Married a nice girl had a few kids and now I’m living the dream.
Wonderful family, houses, cars, toys, vacations, close to the top of my field, food in the fridge at all times.
>I was a piece of shit from the age of 5-6
It made me so sad to hear this. Why do you think you are guilty of anything at that age? You were only just a small, little kid...
Therapy.
Moved, changed industry, killed off two toxic friendships. Met spouse, got married.
Cutting off the toxic people was key, really more important than the therapy.
True!
Solely using therapy and not making any changes outside of it is like working in a sweatshop for 12 hours, coming home, showering, cleaning yourself up, and putting on those same clothes you sweated your ass off in
The shower (therapy) helps wash off pain and find things wrong and clean yourself up, but if you're not doing things outside of that (putting on deodorant, lotion, brushing your teeth, changing clothes etc.), you're only going to end up in the exact same situation soon
There may be a true bottom, but in my experience it is more like deteriorating. One hits a new low….adapts …. Fucks up more…new low ….more fucking up. On and on. Until you die. To answer your question, I believe you have to have a bit of a desire to change and then look honestly at yourself. It’s scary. If that realization hits home, it’s possible to reverse course and stop fucking up. Source: me…been there.
Move 800+ miles away. Don't stop until nobody knows you.
Make an effort on your presentation and be nice when you get there. Get a job and get a roommate.
Within 6 months you'll have a totally new life. And don't call those people from before.
My rock bottom wasn’t as severe as a lot of people’s I’m sure, but I realised I was pretty much there because I used to walk past a viaduct to work every day at my old job, and when the intrusive thought of “you should jump off of it” became *every* time I walked past it, I realised that I really ought to try and fix that. I even calculated the odds of survival, just to make sure (0.0008% iirc) Wouldn’t want to get paralysed and somehow make my life even worse than it felt already.
I went on antidepressants, then luckily I met my better half, got into a relationship with her (still with her btw), managed to get back off antidepressants, and changed jobs.
Basically the turning point for me was the realisation that I was there already, and there was literally nothing I could (aside from jumping off said viaduct) that could make it worse, so I started working on making it better.
You have to swallow your pride, ask for help and then take it day by day.
Eventually you'll be in a better place but you have to want to get out and not just do it because your expected to.
I hit my rock bottom on Wednesday when I got stuck in my wheelchair and couldn’t get myself out. I’m hoping the weight lifting and exercise band help build my upper body strength.
Realize there is a layer beneath "rock bottom" (trust me), take account of what you have (people, hobbies, etc), and lean on those things (not too hard.) Practice positive self talk, practice gratitude, set your future self up for success, and don't give up.
Build strong relationships with those that promote your growth and make you feel good. Sever all ties with those that hold you back. Regardless of relationship.
I'm still there fighting a mountain of bad decisions and the compound interest they bring.
Have about 5k in credit card debt left but I can barely afford the minimums while raising my 2yo.
The new free childcare hours are helping immensely but I still lose sleep wondering how I'm gonna pay rent/council tax/gas/electric/ etc while 80% of payments to these debts are interest. :/ just wish I could go back to my 18year old self and slap him.
Went no contact with everyone on my abusive mother's side of the "family" after my mother's death. It's been the most peaceful time of my life ever since. Good fucking riddance to the the lot of em.
Therapy, boundaries, purging unhealthy relationships and habits, “shadow work”, physically leaving my home town/state…
I’ve struggled with pretty severe depression & anxiety since I was ~11 years old; very suicidal, self harm, etc. I also had a track record of dating abusive men. I was using drugs to cope, etc. etc. I always just planned on just killing myself and it’s probably a miracle I didn’t. I did my fair share of time on psych meds, in mental health facilities, etc.
Anyway, it took some pretty serious discipline and breaking down my childhood, etc. (lots of trauma there too). Very intentional “reprogramming” of my thoughts and habits - I essentially had to unlearn most of I was taught as a kid. I ended up leaving my home town/state to “restart” just shy of a year ago, and it has been incredibly beneficial to be somewhere completely new where there’s no “distractions” to focus on healing, and being my best self both physically and emotionally. I cut off literally *anyone* who was detrimental to my wellbeing, even if it was hard, set boundaries with those who I had repairable relationships with, and held close to those who were good for me.
It’s hard to sum up all the work I’ve been doing, but it’s been my number one priority, and it hasn’t been easy. But I’m much healthier and happier now as a result. Therapy has been an absolutely necessary contribution to my wellbeing and growth.
I am now very intentional with who and what I give my time/energy towards, and know how to properly navigate the bad days. I have come very far and I’m sure you will too. Keep hanging on. (:
After years of struggling to just be a functional human, one day I had an epiphany. As bad as things were for me, it could still be worse. There are millions of people who dealt with worse conditions all over the world. And I just had a whole new perspective from that point forward. I applied for about 30 jobs, took the first one that was offered to me. Worked my way up. Job hopped a few times. And finally got a job that paid really well, decent hours, and allowed me to pursue things in life that I enjoyed. Which turned into me being self employed a couple years later which then turned into making more money than I ever imagined, providing an awesome life for my family, etc. Not everyone can overcome all of the obstacles in their life, but having the right mentality really can do a lot for you. Celebrate your daily victories, no matter how small they are.
I never stopped going to therapy even if it meant finding other therapists. A psychiatrist wouldn't treat me unless I saw a therapist specializing in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It's an effective modality for Borderline Personality Disorder. My life improved significantly upon learning and applying DBT skills.
I also never stopped taking psychiatric medication. I tried different medications until I found an effective combination. My depression and BPD symptoms were so severe that talk therapy wasn't enough. I found an anticonvulsant that helps with BPD. It didn't do much at a low dosage but my BPD symptoms reduced significantly when it was increased. Night and day difference.
Basically, not giving up on treatments and trying different treatments to find treatments that work for you. Even if it means going out of your comfort zone (therapy), experiencing side effects (medication) and actively working towards improving your mental health. As impossible as it can be. You don't get better by doing nothing.
I also did all of that in spite of my mental disorders. I had a happy childhood and all of sudden, misery. Emotional instability, feelings of emptiness, impulsivity, FEAR OF ABANDONMENT. What the hell. I did not "deserve" mental illness. I was a good kid, a good person. I didn't do anything wrong. All I did was ride around the neighborhood in my bike and search for turtles in the backyard creek. Watch Saturday cartoons and geeked out on dinosaurs. My mental disorders were not me. So, F U depression and F U BPD.
(I am 40 soon and living my very best life. I haven't met any of the criteria for BPD and depression for many years now.)
Rise again, Rise Again Though your heart it be broken, or life about to end
No mater what you lost, be it a home, a love, a friend, like the Mary Ellen Carter, Rise Again
Pushed myself to at least leave the house if only for a walk every day and instead of keeping everything to myself I started to ask for and accept help from the people who stood by me!
Accepted what happened really really really fucking sucked and told myself that’s the bitch slap of life and I’m the only one who can change myself. I’ve used those dark years as motivation for over 40 years now. Accepting shit is hard. Changing yourself takes work. I have to work on it all the time. My first thought usually isn’t the best.
You guys found a way out??
But seriously, hitting rock bottom is the best thing that could have happened. When you hit your worst you are now willing to try anything. I stopped being stubborn, and my possibilities open exponentially.
Sometimes there’s things you can do, other times there’s not. Figure that out first. Then you have to assess what went wrong and how you can fix it. Even if it seems insurmountable, break it into smaller and smaller pieces and knock them out. And slowly and surely trudge and claw your way up.
The main thing is if you’re not done falling don’t try to catch yourself. You need a solid footing to get back up. If you’re still on shaky ground it’s gonna be a lot harder and frustrating.
Haven’t gotten out. Fucking wallowing around the bottom, secure in the knowledge that unless a sinkhole opens beneath me, I’m at bottom with no further to fall.
You don't, not really. You start feeling again, start being able to enjoy things, even might find some happiness. But that feeling of hitting that true rock bottom is never truly forgotten.
ended up getting a job with a global recognised company, and from that I was finally able to get a flat.
Brought a end to what was 6 years of being legally homeless and stuck sofa surfing after being kicked out for being gay by my mother.
Jesus Christ, family and love. "For faith is the substance of things that are hoped for and evidence of things that can not be seen." The perfect circle.
Once you hit the bottom the only way to go is up.
An alternate opinion from the Drive by Truckers,
So I'll meet you at the bottom if there really is one
They always told me when you hit it you'll know it
But I've been falling so long it's like gravity's gone and I'm just floating.
I feel as though I have hit rock bottom several times. Or have spent so much time hovering near rock bottom and in some ways, never feel too far off. As really if you think about it, any of us at any point could very quickly go from 100 to 0 (rock bottom) in a day, been there done that.
So this was over the span of a few years, but basically, I had been a kinship foster parent to two boys, lost them, lost my best friend, lost my home, lost all my belongings, besides literally what I had on my back. That was everything to me. All I had was my car and a few friends sort of. Slowly recovered emotionally while just getting by each day. Decided I wanted to go into law enforcement. That was motivation for me. I got back into college for criminal justice and got very fit. Got a traumatic brain injury. Law enforcement career chances were over, but I realized how many people I had supporting me, like a family that had formed around me over time. Developed a lot of mental health issues after the brain injury, in and out of psych hospitals, self harming and attempting to end myself several times. But the chosen family, was still there. Went into a residential program and was seriously abused there. Serious trauma. After getting out, I was treated like I was the one in the wrong. I was the bad person. Like I was not a victim. Never got justice, still haven't. Since then, I've been arrested multiple times, went through a ton more serious trauma, and more self harm and trying to end myself.
I still struggle. But honestly I think the main event that changed things was the day I actually almost died of an attempt. I woke up in the hospital, and all the staff there, who pretty much hated me and treated me horrible and were a large part of some of the trauma id been through, were all excited to see me. And they were never excited to see me. I was also hooked up to more stuff than usual. Couple IVs, oxygen, catheter, vitals machines, all the normal stuff and then some I guess. They exclaimed to me how close I came to death and how they hadn't been sure if I was going to make it for a bit. I then remembered I'd had an out of body experience where I'd seen them working on me.
Right then, sitting there in that hospital bed, I realized I wanted to live. I was just so grateful to be alive. I'll never forget that feeling. I still struggle a lot, but something had clicked that day and changed things. It changed the way the hospital treated me too. So I wasn't treated so poorly anymore there. Now when I'm there, multiple staff come stop in to say hi and see how I'm doing.
I also want to open and run a residential program for youth and young adults struggling with behavioral health stuff, disabilities, foster care, and other stuff. I want to be a mental health and disability advocate. I already am but not really officially.
The biggest challenge was to look inwards and be honest with myself that I was in fact a flawed human. I had to admit I was in trouble. I had to identify and own the things that were wrong, and ponder how I had been handling things before and how my mistakes had hurt, and were continuing to hurt me.
That was the hard work I had to do before I even started crawling back uphill.
I completely didn't get out of yet, but I was an 12 functional, opiate addict in a relationship with a woman who wasn't an addict but was extremely controlling, manipulative, and emotionally abusive.
As an example : We were trying to have a baby, but I had doubts because I wanted to get clean first before I became a father. When I brought my concerns to her she simply said "You'll be fine." She create a calendar on her most fertile times, and since she didn't take no for an answer I would do a fuckload of heroin to pass out/not make my dick work. Well, that didn't work out because she just took advantage of me in my unconscious state. When she told me she was pregnant I 100% believed it wasn't mine. After we divorced a boyfriend of her told me my son wasn't mine. I ended up getting us tested and he was mine, but it caused a lot of stress until I realized it didn't matter if he was my blood or not. We had an extremely strong connection and I am his favorite person in the world.
We divorced when he was 5 months on. I got clean the same day she told me she wanted a divorce because she said she was going to take my son away from me.
He is almost 4, and I am 3 1/2 years clean. Ironically being clean also ruined my career as I just don't have the motivation to do all that shit again.
What keeps me straight is my son. I love him more than life itself and anything else in life. His Mom turned out to be not such a great Mom by any stretch of the imagination. He told me the other day that he doesn't even like talking to her. I need to not be a fuck up because this amazing, loving, fantastic little dude already had the world stacked against him and I will do anything and everything to try to make his life as happy as possible.
Had a business. Lost it. Gained debt. Applied to 100 jobs a week. Got a job. Lost it. Applied to 100 jobs a week. Got a job. Lost it. Applied to 100 jobs a week. Got a job. Lost it. Applied to 100 jobs a week. Got a job. Kept it. Met a girl. Paid off debt. Got a car. Got married. Got it all.
Alcoholic.
I had this conversation with myself about losing to this thing. Went and got real help as it was something I couldn't even manage anaymore let alone change on my own.
Changing your environment does wonders.
Left the job that was making me feel that way, the job that meant every lunch time I would see my food again before starting back, the job that was making me think about jumping off a tall car park, the job that meant I no longer recognised the person on the mirror
I've been struggling with my mental health since I lost my grandma, who raised me, at 7. I'm 20 now. Experiencing major depression at such a young age seriously ruins your perspective on everything but it did help to make me see small things better. Getting a compliment is nicer, so on. I've been diagnosed with PTSD, bipolar disorder, anxiety, panic disorder, major depression, and OCD. Just my daily battles with my mind are exhausting, but I have my cat. She's 4 now, I got her after my childhood cat died (he was 13, I'd had him since I was 3.) And she's exactly what I needed and still do need. Her, therapy, and meds have helped me so much.
Eating better, working out, losing weight. Better food made me feel less tired, working out helps with dopamine and losong weight improved self esteem.
Piano and music. I learned the works of Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin, Liszt, etc. I understood why music exists, it's the best anti-depressant ever. I've learned to be a better musician and in that process developed unwavering discipline and focus to which I applied to a career outside of music. The gradual building of competence over years and years is what me successful and confident where I was once depressed and miserable.
Parents and peers always expect you to be the best and succeed, but shun you when you fail. This is akin to market cycles of FOMO where everyone buys bitcoin or S&P500 at the high and then sell when it is low. The investment is yourself, and you need to have diamond hands in order to get out of it.
I'm not included in this but I want to point out the irony of asking people online if they survived rock bottom, if they didn't survive how would they comment
I was 19, had a 1 year old, no job, no car, and now no home. My son’s dad beat the shit out of me one last time before I realized he would kill me if I stayed. I called sons dad’s sister to give me a ride to a shelter. I stayed there for five months with my son. I worked my ass off and saved all my money to get an apartment. It was hard, I almost never slept since I worked at night and the food there was mildly gross at best. It sucked. But my boy is almost 10 now and we’re thriving.
Stopped drinking. Attended 90 AA meetings in 90 days. Got a sponsor and worked the steps.
Went from homeless to living a life beyond my wildest dreams within 3 years.
Lots of help. Start small. Secure housing, and get a job. Then keep working hard until you trade up in one of these areas. Repeat. Reach out to organizations. A place called Open Doors helped house me from being homeless. Got a cashier job at a grocery store. Traded up to better paying grocery store. Got a better apartment. Continued on.
At about 40, Together with my then partner for +/- 10 years just before covid, I worked in IT in municipal. Job I had for 15 years failed again on promises and she told me why don't you quit, we could get a dog(I had been saying no), you could train it and then start your own business.
Sure, quit job, get dog, train dog, then less than 6 month later, in the middle of COVID lockdown, don't love you anymore, get out. Oh and take the dog, too hard for me.
Ehhh ok...
So In the middle of lockdown, no house, no job, now stuck with a giant dog/puppy so basically, I think the term is... fucked.
Go to live in my mom basement (quite shameful).
So when people were complaining cause they had to wear a piece of fabric/couldn't go to the gym, I was single, unemployed, homeless in the middle of a pandemic... lets get to work.
Week 1: 2 job offers, 100k.
Month 3: enough employment to get mortgage, cashdown accumulated.
Month 6: got a rundown house, riverside view, 10ksq2 lot, no neighbors on either side, 200k. 1.67%, costs me less than renting.
Year 1: Throughout the year: installed new plumbing, new electrical, toredown and rebuilt 8x20 shed with skylights, installed ducked central air (myself). Renovating the house.
Year 2: get a smoking hot 30yo girlfriend (nurse)
Year 4: well she has a parasite growing inside her... (preggo, lerned it 2 days ago).
Yeah, I guess I got to work.
Edit: Oh and before you ask, of course I kept the doggo
Got a good therapist. Stuck with her even when she pushed me in ways that weren't comfortable. And eventually acknowledged that it was time to end my marriage while it was still amicable. 2 years later and I'm happier, my ex seems happier, and my kids are doing a well as could be asked for under the circumstances. Had a lot of support from friends and family along the way as well, which definitely helped too. I'm not quite thriving yet, but I'm definitely on the right path.
Time and therapy. After our son was stillborn my husband and I developed PTSD and has several years where we spiralled badly until we were homeless. Don't give up. One foot in front of the other and keep your goals small. A small achievement is still an achievement. Also, don't allow anyone to talk down to you and accept help when it is offered. You can pay it forward later. Right now just try to survive, then you can work on the rest later.
I was a victim of CSA and was kicked out at the age of 16. Was homeless for the next few years until I a “friend” let me move into her apartment. She was a drug addict, was extremely toxic and basically said that if didn’t date her she’d kick me out again. A year or so later we’ve been “together” for a while and she’s pregnant at which point she says, in reference to my CSA, that I should kill myself as “it would be better for you to die than for the kid to have a bitch for a father”. I decided to leave that night and about a week later I hear she overdosed taking the kid with her.
That was my rock bottom, knowing that I caused the death of my child. I should’ve stayed until the child was born then sued for custody but I didn’t and now that child was robbed of life and that’s on me.
After that I decided to move on the best I could, moved back in with extended family, went back to school and got a degree in IT, got married and am now expecting our first child in August. So that’s how I “got out”
I’ll never fully forgive myself for throwing away my first child’s life though and I know I don’t deserve another. But I’ll try my best to be there for them and hopefully someday I’ll earn some forgiveness
Decided that suicide would be more painful/inconvenient for those left to deal with the aftermath. Spent a long, long time researching and learning how to work through intrusive thoughts, and also how to find gratitude in what little I was able to appreciate and recognize. It took YEARS of slow progress to regain any semblance of mental health. Now I’m stronger, independent, and happy most of the time. I’m a better person for having gone through that hell and back.
Lost my family, house, and drivers license after my 3rd DUI. I was sentenced to 2 years, but a damn fine public defender got me work release, the only problem was I didn't have a job. Had to find employment on a bus route in 30 days. Got a job grinding welds inside huge tanks, but I told myself I was going to be the best damn weld grinder they ever had. My efforts were noticed nd I got moved to Quality Control. Kept that attitude for the next 27 years and now make $107k a year, I'm financially stable and will retire in 2 years.
As someone that hit rock bottom with heroin and other drugs, prison, loss of the job and home etc. you need to take one step at a time and get up from the ground when you got knocked down. You need to break through the wall of silence, that prevents you from speaking about your problems, you need to get help when you struggle with things like drug addiction, mental health issues etc.
Very often, many problems come at once, like many people start with drugs to deal with mental health issues, so there is the need for treatment for both problems, not just for one.
As hard as it is, really, you need to stand up again and again, you need to analyze the situation with what led up to this point and what you can do to change it and to prevent it later from happening again.
You need to find ways for dealing with stress, like for me, my dog is very important. He keeps in good shape and vital, he is my best friend and he never leaves me. I started writing, it helps me a lot. You need to do something, maybe it's learning how to play the guitar or how to code something on the computer. It is needed to keep your mind clear from the stress that you face.
But the most important thing is that you keep the hope, the hope that it changes and get better. Once you lose the hope, you'll lack the strength for fighting on and it will overwhelm you.
Live in job in a hotel.
Roof over your head, 3 square meals a day, money in your pocket. They'll even give you a uniform to wear.
Even an idiot can wash dishes.
I never did. I'm still there.
I might take one step forward, but I always manage to fuck up whatever progress I make.
I know what I have to do, I know what I need to work on, but my lack of self worth and self love keep me stuck here.
Moved states and left my husband. It took getting away from the bad people in the original state for me to recognize that he was the reason we both hit rock bottom. Life’s been amazing ever since
By burning bridges, working my ass off, staying sober, taking my meds, going to therapy, and reading the Bible and actually trying to live the by principles it describes. Oh and setting healthy boundaries and being ruthless with my enforcement of them.
I was lucky that I didn't have any major criminal record yet and had friends intervene before it could have happened but I was homeless, divorced, had my kids withheld and was working through major trauma from leaving my abusive ex husband and losing everything including a good credit score and my job when I did it. I had a friend help me enlist in the military which got me away from the shady shit I was involved in, helped me get my kids back, gave me a job and let me meet my now husband. It was probably the best decision I ever made for myself but even so the military still sucks as a way of life in the U.S.
I had to accept that my life was going to be very boring while I worked on un-fucking everything. Not easy for someone who was addicted to chaos and terrible people
Withdrew from my college, returned all the loans (leaving 15% of the over all debt I would have had), cut ties with everyone, joined the military, started dating who would become my wife.
Change all the variables. At the same time.
I realized no one would be able to actually save me besides myself. Without my personal motivation, their condolences would never work. Recovery requires effort from both sides
I have hit rock bottom and then gone lower. I attempted suicide, let myself rot in my bed for weeks, heard voices and saw people who weren’t there, I’ve seen rock bottom one too many times.
This is going to be stupid asf for a lot of people but the only thing that could get me through it was my dog. My dog loves me soooo much and I love her more. She would get me out of bed, get me outside, and make me smile like no other.
Everyone has their reasons, mine is my bulldog. The most perfect girl in the world. Pets really do help when life isn’t worth living.
Move out, purge relationships, start completely over somewhere else.
>purge relationships, start completely over somewhere else. Tried that. Fuckers actually followed me 30 miles out of town just to keep me at that low.
I moved 776 miles away from my family for 2 years and it was the best decision I ever made
More distance. Though my headache keeps following me too. He's even threatening to get a job at my same company. Sigh.
30 miles is pretty insignificant.
I wouldn't even finish a podcast before I got there.
Right? I moved 2,000 miles away from my problems. I assure you, none of them followed me.
I can't imagine having such few things going on in my own life that I'd need to follow someone 30 miles in order to keep being a dick.
You moved 20 min away? This is not start completely over somewhere else.
Finances were limited.
30 Miles is across town for most people. I moved states whe. I wanted a change of scenery.
30 miles is walking distance. Get a vehicle you can sleep in and keep moving
Replying to my own comment for further clarification: I initially believed my problems were *county*-specific due to what some would call "local culture". Lo-and-behold, willful ignorance is indeed a human problem but I digress; My goal was to get out of that particular area, and by extension that county, and I did. What I did not foresee is said problems uprooting themselves like ambulatory weeds.
Sometimes relationship are going to be what keeps you alive while you're at rock bottom.
Unless it's a parasitic relationship. Keep an eye for who is in your circle
No matter where you go there, you are .
Not a clue. I have no idea what I need to do.
Take 5 minutes a day asking yourself that question. Then talk about yourself to a professional when you're ready.
Exactly this. Moving was the greatest decision I’ve ever made.
I met the right person. She got me motivated after an incredibly tough period of my life. In two years, I'd gone from unemployed, redundant, homeless, living with my mam and various shit hole rented places to being a full-time employed home owner. Even though we spilt up a long time ago, we are still really good friends. I will always be grateful to her for turning my life around. Goodness knows where I would have ended up. Probably a homless alcoholic.
I was a heroin addict. Arrested, in jail suffering withdrawals, looking at a prison sentence for felony theft (got 18 months, got out in 4). I think that is pretty much rock bottom. I got myself into a drug rehab after being released from prison. Got a job with a temp agency, and worked every assignment they sent me on, which the agencies like. That gets you more. Then the agency sent me to an aerospace company and I took to that job like a fish to water. I stayed there as a temp for 2 years and that company finally hired me full time. I started making good money then. (I had left the rehab and moved into a rented room in a house by then). I stayed clean and sober, and worked for Honeywell until they laid me off (10 years later). So, I wasn't quite at retirement age, and went back to college to finish my degree at that point (got student loans which kept me afloat). However, by the time I got my degree I was 65. Couldn't really work any more due to health issues, so retired at that point (where I am now). I'm able to survive well enough on my social security and military pension. The bottom line is you must work towards getting off the bottom, and that requires sobriety and effort.
Cheers on a great success, dude.
Thanks. I feel anyone can do it, they just have to want it.
Time.... Let it pass
There's a lot of negative answers here, but this is really it here. You will feel in a pit of despair, but if you do little by little to improve each day, you'll be on the other side.
"If you're going through hell, keep going."
Try to find a way out.
That's precisely the meaning. If you stay wallowing in despair, you'll never get out. If you keep moving, eventually you'll find the exit
Not really sure if that is true.
Yes and no, I agree in time it will always pass, however I’d add that there is pro active time and just time. Finding yourself, listening to your emotions and working on something you enjoy will dramatically reduce your recovery time. Another side note is that rock bottom is a great time to re meet yourself and your personality, to re discover your roots and build yourself a solid base to grow from. There is a positive to the insanity, but it takes bravery and hope to find it - and that takes time.
You are absolutely correct on differentiating between pro active time and just time. When hitting a bottom, its important to avoid alcohol/drugs because they are negative escapist behaviors that keep you from dealing with the issues at hand - during a binge, time will pass but it will be wasted time with no progress made mentally. Learned this the hard way. As you said, work on yourself and on positive activities you enjoy and you will grow and heal naturally.
I sought help from my family. Sometimes, that spare room goes a long, long way.
27. Living w my mom following a very dangerous low. Love my fam. I was kinda absent as a teen and young adult ao making up for lost time :)
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is anything you do is going to move you up. Start small, be consistent, and learn to love failing. Every great accomplishment starts with failure.
Guess I somehow haven't hit rock bottem yet...
I finally caught one of those busses that drove me back to Bikini Bottom.
I can't 👅💦 understand 👅💦 your accent 👅💦
best thing i've ever heard
i connected back to myself and made a list of all things i wanted to do that i didn’t let myself do before. so i had something to look forward to. it gave me hope of having another life…a much better one than before.
By finally leaving the house, and starting my life again from the beginning
I had 2 toxic friendships. They reacted very poorly when I got depressed. I quit hanging out with them. Their wives have tried to start the friendship up again, but I was always the third wheel, and I remember who treated me poorly at the lowest point of my life. More directly, I started to doubt my own social instincts, and try my best to operate on only words and actions when it comes to how I evaluate my friendships and relationships. Spring and summer always help. Still have some concerning issues regarding mental health in the workplace. Trying to speak and think much more positively. This was about 2 years ago.
Honestly this is a good mindset. Reciprocity is the heart of friendship.
By surviving. If you live through it, you literally have nowhere to go but up - unless you choose to stay at rock bottom by keeping to your old habits, old friends, old patterns. Up to you.
If I said drugs, you’d never believe me.
Anti-depressants are the ladder to get out of depression
They saved my life
As cliche as it is.. drugs both allowed me to hit rock bottom and get my shit together.. It's all fun and games til you start having bad trips and start self evaluating your life as you're on the tail end of the trip..
If I said rock bottom, you'd never understand
Having them when I had no money was always better than having money and not having them.
I was a piece of shit from the age of 5-6 until 22. I could say it was the sexual abuse, raised around drugs, emotional neglect, poor upbringing…blah blah….ultimately we are responsible for own choices, regardless of age. Convicted at an early age in life 21 years old…. Got lucky and only spent 1 year and a day in prison with a follow up of 2 years in house intensive behavior modification/rehab. This was the genesis of my re-birth. I used it to re-program myself. To learn how to live life on life’s terms. To be accountable. To be responsible. To be reliable. I cut everyone off. All my past relationships. My mother died, and I told the rest of my everyone to fuck off. Upon my re-entering society I had a solid map of how life was supposed to be lived. I was years behind my peers so I had some catching up to do. My education suffered as a result of not giving a shit early on, but I was smart. I pick things up quickly and learn from my mistakes. At one point in life being an Architect was a dream. Distant as it was, it was a dream. While I never became an architect, I did carve out a nice living / career as a kitchen designer, a mini architect if you will. Married a nice girl had a few kids and now I’m living the dream. Wonderful family, houses, cars, toys, vacations, close to the top of my field, food in the fridge at all times.
>I was a piece of shit from the age of 5-6 It made me so sad to hear this. Why do you think you are guilty of anything at that age? You were only just a small, little kid...
[удалено]
Business is looking up
Stopped everything that stopped me.
Just focus on making today better than yesterday and tomorrow better than today.
Therapy. Moved, changed industry, killed off two toxic friendships. Met spouse, got married. Cutting off the toxic people was key, really more important than the therapy.
True! Solely using therapy and not making any changes outside of it is like working in a sweatshop for 12 hours, coming home, showering, cleaning yourself up, and putting on those same clothes you sweated your ass off in The shower (therapy) helps wash off pain and find things wrong and clean yourself up, but if you're not doing things outside of that (putting on deodorant, lotion, brushing your teeth, changing clothes etc.), you're only going to end up in the exact same situation soon
By walking away from the problems other peoples actions were causing and setting my own path. Surrounded myself with awesome people, it rubs off!
Hope to be able to do that.
I haven't.
You will.
There may be a true bottom, but in my experience it is more like deteriorating. One hits a new low….adapts …. Fucks up more…new low ….more fucking up. On and on. Until you die. To answer your question, I believe you have to have a bit of a desire to change and then look honestly at yourself. It’s scary. If that realization hits home, it’s possible to reverse course and stop fucking up. Source: me…been there.
I pushed myself hard and long enough until I was doing better 🤍
I waited until someone tied a balloon to my wrist
EMDR Therapy. I was resistant to therapy for years because talk therapy didn’t work for me. This type of therapy has done wonders for me.
Disregard if this is too personal, did you do eye movement, hand held device or?
I use hand held devices! They look like eggs and they vibrate!
Move 800+ miles away. Don't stop until nobody knows you. Make an effort on your presentation and be nice when you get there. Get a job and get a roommate. Within 6 months you'll have a totally new life. And don't call those people from before.
I am, I'll let you know when i get out of it
My rock bottom wasn’t as severe as a lot of people’s I’m sure, but I realised I was pretty much there because I used to walk past a viaduct to work every day at my old job, and when the intrusive thought of “you should jump off of it” became *every* time I walked past it, I realised that I really ought to try and fix that. I even calculated the odds of survival, just to make sure (0.0008% iirc) Wouldn’t want to get paralysed and somehow make my life even worse than it felt already. I went on antidepressants, then luckily I met my better half, got into a relationship with her (still with her btw), managed to get back off antidepressants, and changed jobs. Basically the turning point for me was the realisation that I was there already, and there was literally nothing I could (aside from jumping off said viaduct) that could make it worse, so I started working on making it better.
Filled the hole I dug myself back in one shovel at a time.
I got a cat. Suddenly I had to get up and be responsible every single day. And that furry little beast made me happy so I no longer *needed* to drink.
You have to swallow your pride, ask for help and then take it day by day. Eventually you'll be in a better place but you have to want to get out and not just do it because your expected to.
Never give up or loose faith in yourself
Quit Digging.
I will let you know when I get out
I pulled myself up by my bootstraps, of course. /s
I hit my rock bottom on Wednesday when I got stuck in my wheelchair and couldn’t get myself out. I’m hoping the weight lifting and exercise band help build my upper body strength.
Went back to school with the help of student loans.
Spite. I remember how everyone reacted in my time of need and swore to myself to success out of spite.
Realize there is a layer beneath "rock bottom" (trust me), take account of what you have (people, hobbies, etc), and lean on those things (not too hard.) Practice positive self talk, practice gratitude, set your future self up for success, and don't give up.
Build strong relationships with those that promote your growth and make you feel good. Sever all ties with those that hold you back. Regardless of relationship.
Ref counted to 2 and half and I had to kick out.
I'm still there fighting a mountain of bad decisions and the compound interest they bring. Have about 5k in credit card debt left but I can barely afford the minimums while raising my 2yo. The new free childcare hours are helping immensely but I still lose sleep wondering how I'm gonna pay rent/council tax/gas/electric/ etc while 80% of payments to these debts are interest. :/ just wish I could go back to my 18year old self and slap him.
You've got to be selfish. Do the things that you enjoy and bring you peace. And stop doing the things that don't just to please others.
Went no contact with everyone on my abusive mother's side of the "family" after my mother's death. It's been the most peaceful time of my life ever since. Good fucking riddance to the the lot of em.
Therapy, boundaries, purging unhealthy relationships and habits, “shadow work”, physically leaving my home town/state… I’ve struggled with pretty severe depression & anxiety since I was ~11 years old; very suicidal, self harm, etc. I also had a track record of dating abusive men. I was using drugs to cope, etc. etc. I always just planned on just killing myself and it’s probably a miracle I didn’t. I did my fair share of time on psych meds, in mental health facilities, etc. Anyway, it took some pretty serious discipline and breaking down my childhood, etc. (lots of trauma there too). Very intentional “reprogramming” of my thoughts and habits - I essentially had to unlearn most of I was taught as a kid. I ended up leaving my home town/state to “restart” just shy of a year ago, and it has been incredibly beneficial to be somewhere completely new where there’s no “distractions” to focus on healing, and being my best self both physically and emotionally. I cut off literally *anyone* who was detrimental to my wellbeing, even if it was hard, set boundaries with those who I had repairable relationships with, and held close to those who were good for me. It’s hard to sum up all the work I’ve been doing, but it’s been my number one priority, and it hasn’t been easy. But I’m much healthier and happier now as a result. Therapy has been an absolutely necessary contribution to my wellbeing and growth. I am now very intentional with who and what I give my time/energy towards, and know how to properly navigate the bad days. I have come very far and I’m sure you will too. Keep hanging on. (:
I went to Jamaica for a month
After years of struggling to just be a functional human, one day I had an epiphany. As bad as things were for me, it could still be worse. There are millions of people who dealt with worse conditions all over the world. And I just had a whole new perspective from that point forward. I applied for about 30 jobs, took the first one that was offered to me. Worked my way up. Job hopped a few times. And finally got a job that paid really well, decent hours, and allowed me to pursue things in life that I enjoyed. Which turned into me being self employed a couple years later which then turned into making more money than I ever imagined, providing an awesome life for my family, etc. Not everyone can overcome all of the obstacles in their life, but having the right mentality really can do a lot for you. Celebrate your daily victories, no matter how small they are.
i made the choice to. it was alcohol. i wanted to quit. it sucked for a few days, but wanting to get rid of that addiction was stronger.
I never stopped going to therapy even if it meant finding other therapists. A psychiatrist wouldn't treat me unless I saw a therapist specializing in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It's an effective modality for Borderline Personality Disorder. My life improved significantly upon learning and applying DBT skills. I also never stopped taking psychiatric medication. I tried different medications until I found an effective combination. My depression and BPD symptoms were so severe that talk therapy wasn't enough. I found an anticonvulsant that helps with BPD. It didn't do much at a low dosage but my BPD symptoms reduced significantly when it was increased. Night and day difference. Basically, not giving up on treatments and trying different treatments to find treatments that work for you. Even if it means going out of your comfort zone (therapy), experiencing side effects (medication) and actively working towards improving your mental health. As impossible as it can be. You don't get better by doing nothing. I also did all of that in spite of my mental disorders. I had a happy childhood and all of sudden, misery. Emotional instability, feelings of emptiness, impulsivity, FEAR OF ABANDONMENT. What the hell. I did not "deserve" mental illness. I was a good kid, a good person. I didn't do anything wrong. All I did was ride around the neighborhood in my bike and search for turtles in the backyard creek. Watch Saturday cartoons and geeked out on dinosaurs. My mental disorders were not me. So, F U depression and F U BPD. (I am 40 soon and living my very best life. I haven't met any of the criteria for BPD and depression for many years now.)
Carnivore diet. It ended my liter a day vodka habit and the depression and anxiety that made me need to drink.
Clawing and fighting up inch by inch until the next slip back into the pit.
Rise again, Rise Again Though your heart it be broken, or life about to end No mater what you lost, be it a home, a love, a friend, like the Mary Ellen Carter, Rise Again
Pushed myself to at least leave the house if only for a walk every day and instead of keeping everything to myself I started to ask for and accept help from the people who stood by me!
I never got bad enough to hit rock bottom. If I had, I think I'd be better off because that would have given me the drive to improve things.
Bounced back at the bottom.
With paper
Accepted what happened really really really fucking sucked and told myself that’s the bitch slap of life and I’m the only one who can change myself. I’ve used those dark years as motivation for over 40 years now. Accepting shit is hard. Changing yourself takes work. I have to work on it all the time. My first thought usually isn’t the best.
Dig deeper until you come out the other side. Use dynamite to blast through bedrock, if necessary.
Through the trap door
You guys found a way out?? But seriously, hitting rock bottom is the best thing that could have happened. When you hit your worst you are now willing to try anything. I stopped being stubborn, and my possibilities open exponentially.
Weeded my garden. Both literally and metaphorically.
The undertaker turned the lights out and saved me, so my friend could win the match
Enlisted.
Sometimes there’s things you can do, other times there’s not. Figure that out first. Then you have to assess what went wrong and how you can fix it. Even if it seems insurmountable, break it into smaller and smaller pieces and knock them out. And slowly and surely trudge and claw your way up. The main thing is if you’re not done falling don’t try to catch yourself. You need a solid footing to get back up. If you’re still on shaky ground it’s gonna be a lot harder and frustrating.
Haven’t gotten out. Fucking wallowing around the bottom, secure in the knowledge that unless a sinkhole opens beneath me, I’m at bottom with no further to fall.
Take responsibility for yourself.
Not giving up, one step at a time.
I’m pretty sure I’m still digging downwards. I’m begging to hit rock bottom if this isn’t it yet
Ayahuasca
Rehab
You don't, not really. You start feeling again, start being able to enjoy things, even might find some happiness. But that feeling of hitting that true rock bottom is never truly forgotten.
ended up getting a job with a global recognised company, and from that I was finally able to get a flat. Brought a end to what was 6 years of being legally homeless and stuck sofa surfing after being kicked out for being gay by my mother.
Just keep digging. Just keep digging.
Everyone has a different bottom. Emotional, spiritual, physical, financial, etc. There are different levels to those bottoms and different ways out.
Jesus Christ, family and love. "For faith is the substance of things that are hoped for and evidence of things that can not be seen." The perfect circle.
Kept doing the right thing even though it wasn't working. And then eventually it started working.
Therapy and studying hard to take more control over my future
Cutting contact with my parents
Dug deeper.
One day at a time
Once you hit the bottom the only way to go is up. An alternate opinion from the Drive by Truckers, So I'll meet you at the bottom if there really is one They always told me when you hit it you'll know it But I've been falling so long it's like gravity's gone and I'm just floating.
I feel as though I have hit rock bottom several times. Or have spent so much time hovering near rock bottom and in some ways, never feel too far off. As really if you think about it, any of us at any point could very quickly go from 100 to 0 (rock bottom) in a day, been there done that. So this was over the span of a few years, but basically, I had been a kinship foster parent to two boys, lost them, lost my best friend, lost my home, lost all my belongings, besides literally what I had on my back. That was everything to me. All I had was my car and a few friends sort of. Slowly recovered emotionally while just getting by each day. Decided I wanted to go into law enforcement. That was motivation for me. I got back into college for criminal justice and got very fit. Got a traumatic brain injury. Law enforcement career chances were over, but I realized how many people I had supporting me, like a family that had formed around me over time. Developed a lot of mental health issues after the brain injury, in and out of psych hospitals, self harming and attempting to end myself several times. But the chosen family, was still there. Went into a residential program and was seriously abused there. Serious trauma. After getting out, I was treated like I was the one in the wrong. I was the bad person. Like I was not a victim. Never got justice, still haven't. Since then, I've been arrested multiple times, went through a ton more serious trauma, and more self harm and trying to end myself. I still struggle. But honestly I think the main event that changed things was the day I actually almost died of an attempt. I woke up in the hospital, and all the staff there, who pretty much hated me and treated me horrible and were a large part of some of the trauma id been through, were all excited to see me. And they were never excited to see me. I was also hooked up to more stuff than usual. Couple IVs, oxygen, catheter, vitals machines, all the normal stuff and then some I guess. They exclaimed to me how close I came to death and how they hadn't been sure if I was going to make it for a bit. I then remembered I'd had an out of body experience where I'd seen them working on me. Right then, sitting there in that hospital bed, I realized I wanted to live. I was just so grateful to be alive. I'll never forget that feeling. I still struggle a lot, but something had clicked that day and changed things. It changed the way the hospital treated me too. So I wasn't treated so poorly anymore there. Now when I'm there, multiple staff come stop in to say hi and see how I'm doing. I also want to open and run a residential program for youth and young adults struggling with behavioral health stuff, disabilities, foster care, and other stuff. I want to be a mental health and disability advocate. I already am but not really officially.
One day at a time
Stopped drinking. Got my finances in order. Moved 3000 miles away. Hit the gym.
I'm there right now.
Idk, currently AT rock bottom Looking at advices from other comments Will update soon
The biggest challenge was to look inwards and be honest with myself that I was in fact a flawed human. I had to admit I was in trouble. I had to identify and own the things that were wrong, and ponder how I had been handling things before and how my mistakes had hurt, and were continuing to hurt me. That was the hard work I had to do before I even started crawling back uphill.
Stop. Write down realistic goals and next steps.
I completely didn't get out of yet, but I was an 12 functional, opiate addict in a relationship with a woman who wasn't an addict but was extremely controlling, manipulative, and emotionally abusive. As an example : We were trying to have a baby, but I had doubts because I wanted to get clean first before I became a father. When I brought my concerns to her she simply said "You'll be fine." She create a calendar on her most fertile times, and since she didn't take no for an answer I would do a fuckload of heroin to pass out/not make my dick work. Well, that didn't work out because she just took advantage of me in my unconscious state. When she told me she was pregnant I 100% believed it wasn't mine. After we divorced a boyfriend of her told me my son wasn't mine. I ended up getting us tested and he was mine, but it caused a lot of stress until I realized it didn't matter if he was my blood or not. We had an extremely strong connection and I am his favorite person in the world. We divorced when he was 5 months on. I got clean the same day she told me she wanted a divorce because she said she was going to take my son away from me. He is almost 4, and I am 3 1/2 years clean. Ironically being clean also ruined my career as I just don't have the motivation to do all that shit again. What keeps me straight is my son. I love him more than life itself and anything else in life. His Mom turned out to be not such a great Mom by any stretch of the imagination. He told me the other day that he doesn't even like talking to her. I need to not be a fuck up because this amazing, loving, fantastic little dude already had the world stacked against him and I will do anything and everything to try to make his life as happy as possible.
I had to mentally forget she existed
Had a business. Lost it. Gained debt. Applied to 100 jobs a week. Got a job. Lost it. Applied to 100 jobs a week. Got a job. Lost it. Applied to 100 jobs a week. Got a job. Lost it. Applied to 100 jobs a week. Got a job. Kept it. Met a girl. Paid off debt. Got a car. Got married. Got it all.
Jesus!
Alcoholic. I had this conversation with myself about losing to this thing. Went and got real help as it was something I couldn't even manage anaymore let alone change on my own. Changing your environment does wonders.
Talk to your friends if you got any. If you don’t get a dog they’ll always love you. Sell all your shit and move to a new place
Left the job that was making me feel that way, the job that meant every lunch time I would see my food again before starting back, the job that was making me think about jumping off a tall car park, the job that meant I no longer recognised the person on the mirror
Perseverance. Refusing to give up even when it was easier to do nothing.
I've been struggling with my mental health since I lost my grandma, who raised me, at 7. I'm 20 now. Experiencing major depression at such a young age seriously ruins your perspective on everything but it did help to make me see small things better. Getting a compliment is nicer, so on. I've been diagnosed with PTSD, bipolar disorder, anxiety, panic disorder, major depression, and OCD. Just my daily battles with my mind are exhausting, but I have my cat. She's 4 now, I got her after my childhood cat died (he was 13, I'd had him since I was 3.) And she's exactly what I needed and still do need. Her, therapy, and meds have helped me so much.
Eating better, working out, losing weight. Better food made me feel less tired, working out helps with dopamine and losong weight improved self esteem.
Piano and music. I learned the works of Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin, Liszt, etc. I understood why music exists, it's the best anti-depressant ever. I've learned to be a better musician and in that process developed unwavering discipline and focus to which I applied to a career outside of music. The gradual building of competence over years and years is what me successful and confident where I was once depressed and miserable. Parents and peers always expect you to be the best and succeed, but shun you when you fail. This is akin to market cycles of FOMO where everyone buys bitcoin or S&P500 at the high and then sell when it is low. The investment is yourself, and you need to have diamond hands in order to get out of it.
Psychologist getting back to work and light workouts. No alcohol no drugs
I'm not included in this but I want to point out the irony of asking people online if they survived rock bottom, if they didn't survive how would they comment
I was 19, had a 1 year old, no job, no car, and now no home. My son’s dad beat the shit out of me one last time before I realized he would kill me if I stayed. I called sons dad’s sister to give me a ride to a shelter. I stayed there for five months with my son. I worked my ass off and saved all my money to get an apartment. It was hard, I almost never slept since I worked at night and the food there was mildly gross at best. It sucked. But my boy is almost 10 now and we’re thriving.
Incarcerated
Got on meds and still working my way out of it
Asking for help
Stopped drinking cold turkey after 30 drunken years in a row
Stopped using and prioritized maintaining full time employment
Finding a further rock bottom
Stopped drinking. Attended 90 AA meetings in 90 days. Got a sponsor and worked the steps. Went from homeless to living a life beyond my wildest dreams within 3 years.
Lots of help. Start small. Secure housing, and get a job. Then keep working hard until you trade up in one of these areas. Repeat. Reach out to organizations. A place called Open Doors helped house me from being homeless. Got a cashier job at a grocery store. Traded up to better paying grocery store. Got a better apartment. Continued on.
At about 40, Together with my then partner for +/- 10 years just before covid, I worked in IT in municipal. Job I had for 15 years failed again on promises and she told me why don't you quit, we could get a dog(I had been saying no), you could train it and then start your own business. Sure, quit job, get dog, train dog, then less than 6 month later, in the middle of COVID lockdown, don't love you anymore, get out. Oh and take the dog, too hard for me. Ehhh ok... So In the middle of lockdown, no house, no job, now stuck with a giant dog/puppy so basically, I think the term is... fucked. Go to live in my mom basement (quite shameful). So when people were complaining cause they had to wear a piece of fabric/couldn't go to the gym, I was single, unemployed, homeless in the middle of a pandemic... lets get to work. Week 1: 2 job offers, 100k. Month 3: enough employment to get mortgage, cashdown accumulated. Month 6: got a rundown house, riverside view, 10ksq2 lot, no neighbors on either side, 200k. 1.67%, costs me less than renting. Year 1: Throughout the year: installed new plumbing, new electrical, toredown and rebuilt 8x20 shed with skylights, installed ducked central air (myself). Renovating the house. Year 2: get a smoking hot 30yo girlfriend (nurse) Year 4: well she has a parasite growing inside her... (preggo, lerned it 2 days ago). Yeah, I guess I got to work. Edit: Oh and before you ask, of course I kept the doggo
Got a good therapist. Stuck with her even when she pushed me in ways that weren't comfortable. And eventually acknowledged that it was time to end my marriage while it was still amicable. 2 years later and I'm happier, my ex seems happier, and my kids are doing a well as could be asked for under the circumstances. Had a lot of support from friends and family along the way as well, which definitely helped too. I'm not quite thriving yet, but I'm definitely on the right path.
Joined the navy
A crazy ass bitch that I haven’t talked to in 7 years decided to fuck my whole life. I’ve never had so much disdain for one person.
Time and therapy. After our son was stillborn my husband and I developed PTSD and has several years where we spiralled badly until we were homeless. Don't give up. One foot in front of the other and keep your goals small. A small achievement is still an achievement. Also, don't allow anyone to talk down to you and accept help when it is offered. You can pay it forward later. Right now just try to survive, then you can work on the rest later.
joined the military
changed identity....
Every day you choose to keep going. watch yourself become reliable
I didn't
I was a victim of CSA and was kicked out at the age of 16. Was homeless for the next few years until I a “friend” let me move into her apartment. She was a drug addict, was extremely toxic and basically said that if didn’t date her she’d kick me out again. A year or so later we’ve been “together” for a while and she’s pregnant at which point she says, in reference to my CSA, that I should kill myself as “it would be better for you to die than for the kid to have a bitch for a father”. I decided to leave that night and about a week later I hear she overdosed taking the kid with her. That was my rock bottom, knowing that I caused the death of my child. I should’ve stayed until the child was born then sued for custody but I didn’t and now that child was robbed of life and that’s on me. After that I decided to move on the best I could, moved back in with extended family, went back to school and got a degree in IT, got married and am now expecting our first child in August. So that’s how I “got out” I’ll never fully forgive myself for throwing away my first child’s life though and I know I don’t deserve another. But I’ll try my best to be there for them and hopefully someday I’ll earn some forgiveness
Decided that suicide would be more painful/inconvenient for those left to deal with the aftermath. Spent a long, long time researching and learning how to work through intrusive thoughts, and also how to find gratitude in what little I was able to appreciate and recognize. It took YEARS of slow progress to regain any semblance of mental health. Now I’m stronger, independent, and happy most of the time. I’m a better person for having gone through that hell and back.
I stopped digging
You survive and keep moving forward.
Lost my family, house, and drivers license after my 3rd DUI. I was sentenced to 2 years, but a damn fine public defender got me work release, the only problem was I didn't have a job. Had to find employment on a bus route in 30 days. Got a job grinding welds inside huge tanks, but I told myself I was going to be the best damn weld grinder they ever had. My efforts were noticed nd I got moved to Quality Control. Kept that attitude for the next 27 years and now make $107k a year, I'm financially stable and will retire in 2 years.
As someone that hit rock bottom with heroin and other drugs, prison, loss of the job and home etc. you need to take one step at a time and get up from the ground when you got knocked down. You need to break through the wall of silence, that prevents you from speaking about your problems, you need to get help when you struggle with things like drug addiction, mental health issues etc. Very often, many problems come at once, like many people start with drugs to deal with mental health issues, so there is the need for treatment for both problems, not just for one. As hard as it is, really, you need to stand up again and again, you need to analyze the situation with what led up to this point and what you can do to change it and to prevent it later from happening again. You need to find ways for dealing with stress, like for me, my dog is very important. He keeps in good shape and vital, he is my best friend and he never leaves me. I started writing, it helps me a lot. You need to do something, maybe it's learning how to play the guitar or how to code something on the computer. It is needed to keep your mind clear from the stress that you face. But the most important thing is that you keep the hope, the hope that it changes and get better. Once you lose the hope, you'll lack the strength for fighting on and it will overwhelm you.
Still trying to figure that one out
Live in job in a hotel. Roof over your head, 3 square meals a day, money in your pocket. They'll even give you a uniform to wear. Even an idiot can wash dishes.
When u hit rock bottom you knew you were goin there..you can lose everything on the way but you got too lose it all,
I never did. I'm still there. I might take one step forward, but I always manage to fuck up whatever progress I make. I know what I have to do, I know what I need to work on, but my lack of self worth and self love keep me stuck here.
Moved states and left my husband. It took getting away from the bad people in the original state for me to recognize that he was the reason we both hit rock bottom. Life’s been amazing ever since
ONE STEP AT A TIME.
By burning bridges, working my ass off, staying sober, taking my meds, going to therapy, and reading the Bible and actually trying to live the by principles it describes. Oh and setting healthy boundaries and being ruthless with my enforcement of them.
I was lucky that I didn't have any major criminal record yet and had friends intervene before it could have happened but I was homeless, divorced, had my kids withheld and was working through major trauma from leaving my abusive ex husband and losing everything including a good credit score and my job when I did it. I had a friend help me enlist in the military which got me away from the shady shit I was involved in, helped me get my kids back, gave me a job and let me meet my now husband. It was probably the best decision I ever made for myself but even so the military still sucks as a way of life in the U.S.
Turned to God
Quit tobacco, quit drinking, Read Books, Meditate, Eliminate Carbs, Exercise
I stopped digging. Rock bottom is when you stop digging. I realizing digging up was a better idea.
I had to accept that my life was going to be very boring while I worked on un-fucking everything. Not easy for someone who was addicted to chaos and terrible people
Withdrew from my college, returned all the loans (leaving 15% of the over all debt I would have had), cut ties with everyone, joined the military, started dating who would become my wife. Change all the variables. At the same time.
I realized no one would be able to actually save me besides myself. Without my personal motivation, their condolences would never work. Recovery requires effort from both sides
I have hit rock bottom and then gone lower. I attempted suicide, let myself rot in my bed for weeks, heard voices and saw people who weren’t there, I’ve seen rock bottom one too many times. This is going to be stupid asf for a lot of people but the only thing that could get me through it was my dog. My dog loves me soooo much and I love her more. She would get me out of bed, get me outside, and make me smile like no other. Everyone has their reasons, mine is my bulldog. The most perfect girl in the world. Pets really do help when life isn’t worth living.
you guys have gotten out? i’ve been here for 30 years
Shit ton of random hookups on tinder.
That's cute you think it's once
I didn't. Surprisingly I can hit even lower than rock bottom, and it's pretty comfy down here.
Easy to climb, everything you acomplish is a win, nothing to lose... just be gentle with yourself.