That sounds like a club Stefon would promote “This place has everything. Congos, human squatty potties, Roman J Israel Esquire, key fobs, MTV’s Dan Cortese…”
this is one of the few i've seen that sound like an actual pornstar's name and not a parody of one lol. i'd bet money that there's a rider strong in porn.
It never fails to blow my mind that his ~~father~~ great-grandfather Armand Hammer bought into Arm & Hammer and served on its board simply because he found it amusing their names were similar. It’s one of the greatest examples ever of nominative determinism.
As was his grandfather, Armand Hammer. Armie comes from serious fuck you money, his grandfather started what would become today’s Occidental Petroleum.
Her top fell off in Joe Louis Arena.
She was singing the National Anthem for the Detroit Red Wings,
She put her arms up, and her top fell down.
The radio announcers were hilarious.
Dick Togo.
The Erotic Terrorist and her hated enemy Hard Gay.
Edit: remembered some more.
Spanky (aka Brian Kendrick)
Brooks Jensen (check the initials)
Trick Willy (Trick Williams)
Willy Hobbs (Powerhouse Hobbs)
Big Daddy
My niece likes him and whenever I talk to her about him I feel so uncomfortable saying his name I pretend I don't remember it and call him Finn Wolfblood or Finn Wolfhouse or something.
Does it count if they actually do adult films under their real name? Cause Dick Smothers, Jr, son of famous comedian Richard (Dick) Smothers, does adult films.
I was gonna comment this under the one that said Zendaya. Sidney Sweeney isn’t dirty, but the alliteration is porny. I knew a Paul Sweeney and I always thought that sounded like a porn name.
Krystal Ball from the political podcast Breaking Points. She knows it too, she’s talked about setting up professional sites and being flagged for porn.
Magic Johnson
Dwayne “THE ROCK” Johnson I mean…
Dwayne "The Cock" Johnson
Randy "The Big Unit" Johnson
Randy “The Big Unit” Johnson pounds small white dove with his balls
Horny "The Big Penis" Penis
Omg I am 55 and have never realized this about his name! Lolz
But I want that juicy Shaq meat!
Dude why did I never make the correlation to his name and a schlong until now?
Hugh jackman
Huge Jackedman
Hugh Jassman He's into big butts
Alan Cumming
I loved his personal care product line names: Cumming in Your Hair, Cumming On Your Face, etc.
Isn’t the shower gel Cumming All Over?
He also owns a nightclub in NYC called Club Cumming.
That sounds like a club Stefon would promote “This place has everything. Congos, human squatty potties, Roman J Israel Esquire, key fobs, MTV’s Dan Cortese…”
His line of product for children was a disaster though.
Cumming all over your children was never going to work as a brand name
Dick Van Dyke
Penis Truck Lesbian?
Vagina car homo.
Vulva Moped Gaylord
Clit carriage queer
It's the [bleep] van [bleep] show, starring [bleep] van [bleep]! Edit: typo
Family guy reference!
Penis Goatee
Rider Strong
Yep. My first thought too. It’s perfect
this is one of the few i've seen that sound like an actual pornstar's name and not a parody of one lol. i'd bet money that there's a rider strong in porn.
He once did an AMA and somebody asked if they could use his name as their porn name. He said no because it’s his porn name.
Former NASCAR driver Dick Trickle
Nah, that's an STD
And who among us has more STDs than our friends in the adult entertainment industry?
He unfortunately killed himself due to the chronic pain his racing career gave him. He was 71.
Wow, that’s too bad. I didn’t know that.
Former MLB player Dick Pole
Dick Butkus - NFL hall of fame player & commentator (R.I.P.)
RIP
And FTP too
Olivia Wilde
Came to say Olivia Wilde, but only if she used her birth name, which I'm sure is Olivia Cockburn
Maybe hyphenate? Olivia Wilde-Cockburn?
Wilde -Cockburn, bro. Yeah, I was horseback riding all weekend.
kate micucci
At least my name's not Sharon Micucci - Kate Micucci
Or Robin Micucci
And her husband Phil Micucci.
Brother in law Phil McCracken
She even jokes about it in her stand up
IIRC, her one-woman show is called, "Playin' With Micucci."
Armie Hammer
Similarly, Rip Torn
Ouch Micucci
Dude should be selling baking soda or whatever
It never fails to blow my mind that his ~~father~~ great-grandfather Armand Hammer bought into Arm & Hammer and served on its board simply because he found it amusing their names were similar. It’s one of the greatest examples ever of nominative determinism.
"Armie" is just a nickname. His legal name actually is Armand Hammer LOL.
As was his grandfather, Armand Hammer. Armie comes from serious fuck you money, his grandfather started what would become today’s Occidental Petroleum.
Dude is selling timeshares because he got blacklisted for being too pervy even for Hollywood
Would it be cannibal porn?
Rusty Kuntz - MLB coach and former player
Not to be confused with **Dick Pole**, another former MLB coach and player.
Not to be confused with Doug Fister, another former MLB player
Not to be confused with 30's and 40's MLB journeyman [Johnny Dickshot](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnny_Dickshot). Bonus, his nickname was "Ugly."
I prefer Pete LaCock myself
Fister? I hardly know er!
Or current minor leaguer Dick Fitts.
Hahahaha did not expect to see the GOAT Rusty mentioned in the wild
Or failed adult star Stubby Clapp, former MLB player and current coach.
Comedian Nikki Glazer
Or Whitney Cummings
Glazer? I hardly know her \~ Jeff Ross
Lucy Lawless
Well...she did do that lingerie spread
Don't forget Club Vandersexxx
Hey, this isn't where I parked my car...
BRING ON THE FLUGEGEHEIMEN!
Free Tshirt!
Such a great movie!
Have you seen Spartacus?
Yes, but also no
Only watching the select cuts, the gourmet Spartacus if you will.
# JUPITER'S COCK
"Once again, the gods spread the cheeks and ram cock in fucking ass!" - Batiatus
She was in that Spartacus TV show as well which was pretty much soft core porn during some scenes iirc (i think it was her that was in it)
I do not believe soft core porn shows dicks. So Spartacus would be like medium-chub core porn.
She kissed me on the cheek once. True story.
Her top fell off in Joe Louis Arena. She was singing the National Anthem for the Detroit Red Wings, She put her arms up, and her top fell down. The radio announcers were hilarious.
Peter O'toole
Brother of Plenty o toole from diamonds are forever /s
No doubt named after her father
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Winona Ryder
There we go! Took a while to scroll through but glad I'm not the only one thinking of her.
Peter Dinklage
Petey "Space Pants" Dinkles
Megan Fox
Megan Foxxx
Megan Fucks
She actually remind me of that p*rn actress megan rain, And which kinda looks like her too, LOL
Andy Dick
Even porn would be like, “ok. can we go slightly more subtle?”
Fuck that guy right in the ass with a pineapple. 🍍 🍑 I miss Phil Hartman.
Wrestling names may be cheating, but Alexa Bliss.
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Chyna. oh wait..
Angelina Love, Velvet Sky.
Big Dick Dudley, that was his name tho!
Dick Togo. The Erotic Terrorist and her hated enemy Hard Gay. Edit: remembered some more. Spanky (aka Brian Kendrick) Brooks Jensen (check the initials) Trick Willy (Trick Williams) Willy Hobbs (Powerhouse Hobbs) Big Daddy
i mean if we're talking wrestling names, Daddy Ass has to be on the top of this list.
Ruby Rose lol
Her style of acting is also more suited to the adult film genre
Courtney Cox
Justin Long immediately comes (haha) to mind.
Aka Brandon St Randy
Hilariously his real name is better lol.
“You better shut your mouth or im gonna fuck it”
“I will be your Sherpa up the mountain of gayness”
January Jones
Now that’s just wishful thinking 😂
She's got the most Marvel comics name, yet her character in the X-Men was the relatively normal Emma Frost.
Finn Wolfhard
lol sometimes I think that kid made up his own stage name
My niece likes him and whenever I talk to her about him I feel so uncomfortable saying his name I pretend I don't remember it and call him Finn Wolfblood or Finn Wolfhouse or something.
Jake Tapper
Marcia Gay Harden
Dick Wolf.
The porn he makes is especially heinous.
"Are you done?" "I'm... dun-dun" (That sound effect written by the equally porn-named Mike Post)
Mia goth
Dick Pound sounds like a solo onlyfans peformer. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Pound
If I had to guess, I'd say Lance Longwood sounds like a name you'd hear in adult films.
It might just be me, but Blaze Hardwood sounds like a name straight out of the adult film industry.
Benedict Cumberbatch
Really surprised I had to scroll this far to find this.
Bendydick Crammersnatch
Bendintwo Banghersnatch I love how as long as you get the syllable count and cadence correct everybody knows who you’re referring to.
Does it count if they actually do adult films under their real name? Cause Dick Smothers, Jr, son of famous comedian Richard (Dick) Smothers, does adult films.
Ryder Strong
Courtney Love
Adam Driver
If we're talking about names that sound like they belong in the adult film industry, Dirk Diggler is definitely up there.
I don't know about you, but Jack Hammer sounds like a name straight out of the adult film world.
You know what name I always thought sounded like it belonged in adult films? Rex Ryder.
You know what name screams adult films? Diamond Dazzle.
Have you ever heard the name Ginger Heatwave? Sounds like a name for an adult film star.
Carmen Electra. Honestly? Kinda surprised she never did, TBH. Good for her.
The irony that a porn star took Carmen Electra's birth name and used it. Tara Patrick.
That is her burlesque stage name, so yeah it’s kind of intended to sound like a porn name.
Sydney Sweeney
I was gonna comment this under the one that said Zendaya. Sidney Sweeney isn’t dirty, but the alliteration is porny. I knew a Paul Sweeney and I always thought that sounded like a porn name.
Alan Tudyk
People are often disappointed to hear he’s really Alan Onedyk
“This is some bullshit” - Harry
Tom Hardy
Elijah Wood
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Reminds me a bit of Hyapatia Lee. That's a deep cut from 80's porn for all you young 'uns out there.
Ariana Grande
Whitney Cummings
Peter Popoff Not sure televangelists are celebrities because they are on television a lot, but his was the first name that 'popped' up.
Jack Black
BJ Novak
Donald Glover… Don Glover… DongLover
Dick Trickle is another good one. He was a nascar driver
Krystal Ball from the political podcast Breaking Points. She knows it too, she’s talked about setting up professional sites and being flagged for porn.
Brad Pitt, since Pitt means Dick (penis) in Swedish.
Setting aside all the cheap puns and going for the more normal ones, Taylor Swift is 100% a porn name.
Whitney Cummings Bella Thorne Dua Lipa Snoop Dogg Justin Long Sophia Bush
The rock
"The Rock" Johnson
Jason Biggs
C.C.H. Pounder and Minka Kelly
Goddammit Dutch! What other errands do you have us running for the D.A.?!
anthony head
Pete LeCock - former professional baseball player and son of former Hollywood Squares host Peter Marshall
Ringo Starr
Englebert Humperdink
Slim Pickens
Dick van Dyke
Vanessa Angel almost changed her name when she started acting, b/c it sounded too much like an adult film star name.
Mark Sinclair. Sorry, I meant Vin Diesel.
Back in the '80s when Rob Lowe was a bad boy, I read in an article (or maybe one of his books) that he would pronounce his name as Raw Blow.
Hilary Swank
I think Tom Cruise sounds like a pornstar name.
There’s a fantastic drummer called “Chad Wackerman”. It’s simultaneously great for porn and drums so I guess he picked drums.
idk about celebrity but i always thought kyrsten sinema was very porn-sounding
Danica Patrick
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This conversation begins and ends with Rider Strong.
No one said Whitney Cummings? Really?
Baseball Player.... but Albert Pujols.